Should you call a retiree sir/ma'am?

ENS Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 10:42:58 -0400

1) Out of respect, should you call a higher ranking officer who retired sir/ma'am?
2) Within that same vein, should you call a lower ranking retired enlisted member who retired sir/ma'am? You normally wouldn't, but if you're an ENS like me, and they've given 20+ years, I feel like it's a sign of respect, regardless of rank (As well as a sign of respect to call any civilian sir/ma'am).
3) Does being retired vs serving your time and getting out change the above 2 scenarios?

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Jul 5 at 2021 11:00 AM

Lt Col Charlie Brown — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 11:00:56 -0400

I tend to do that with anyone who served that I am not on a first name basis with

Response by MSgt Don VandeBogert made Jul 5 at 2021 11:29 AM

MSgt Don VandeBogert — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 11:29:24 -0400

Yes.
Yes.
No.

Common, or should be, common courtesy. They'll let you know if they want you to call them something else.

V/R
Bogie

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 5 at 2021 11:37 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 11:37:39 -0400

You should address all civilians as Sir or Ma'am unless you personally know them.

Response by Maj John Bell made Jul 5 at 2021 11:57 AM

Maj John Bell — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 11:57:49 -0400

Regardless of my relative rank, if I know their rank, and they were an NCO or senior I call them by name and rank until they tell me otherwise. Then I ask them how they want to be addressed and do that.

If I know their rank and they were not an NCO, I ask them how they want to be addressed and do that.

If I know they served but I don't know their rank, I ask. I tell them that I will call them by rank out of respect, unless they prefer otherwise. (I find that most like it and it doesn't get in the ay of us forming a friendship).

PS Please never refer to yourself as a "Butter Bar." You chose a path some can't and most won't. You earned your commission and there is no need to depreciate it. Yes, some are going to make light of your inexperience, and "no harm, no foul." Take it in stride if the ribbing is well-intentioned. But if you seem uncomfortable with your rank, why would anyone else be comfortable with it. Just some advice you didn't ask for, that I was taught by a SgtMaj.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Jul 5 at 2021 2:06 PM

LT Brad McInnis — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 14:06:00 -0400

Every vet I meet I greet with Ma'am or Sir as a sign of respect.

Response by SrA Steven Houde made Jul 5 at 2021 2:45 PM

SrA Steven Houde — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 14:45:35 -0400

Does it ever REALLY hurt to address an older person with "sir," or "ma'am?" I DON'T think so. It's just plain courteous.

Response by PVT Mark Zehner made Jul 5 at 2021 3:24 PM

PVT Mark Zehner — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 15:24:10 -0400

I refer to most as Sir or Ma'am. It shows a proper upbringing!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 5 at 2021 4:37 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 16:37:35 -0400

I used "sir" or "ma'am" with officers, senior NCOs, junior enlisted personnel, and my commander, whether active duty, Guard, or Reserve. I also used "sir" with the 17 year old that took my order this morning at Panera Bread.

Response by SSG Sidney Galloway made Jul 5 at 2021 5:20 PM

SSG Sidney Galloway — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 17:20:22 -0400

As that to which anyone raised with common sense can attribute, address everyone you meet as sir or ma'am/miss. Try it on kids. They find it a hoot.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 5 at 2021 8:24 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 20:24:54 -0400

I try to address all people I run into as sir or ma’am. It is a sign of respect until they themselves convince me they do not deserve.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Jul 5 at 2021 10:20 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 22:20:43 -0400

Why not, Could be a nice person

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Jul 6 at 2021 7:34 AM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 07:34:56 -0400

Don't overthink it. All civilians are Sir/Ma'am by default. If you learn they are retired Military you could refer to them by their retired Rank but Sir/Ma'am could still be used as they are no longer in.

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Jul 6 at 2021 10:28 AM

SFC Jim Ruether — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 10:28:53 -0400

It makes no difference. You pay your respect to the rank. 9 out of 10 times they may add that they are retired and may ask you to dispense with their rank when addressing them. This is out of a sense of modesty, born of character and good conscience!
GOD Bless our men and women in these Armed Forces of the United States who don't demand respect.........because they have earned it.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 6 at 2021 8:56 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 20:56:57 -0400

This is a dumb question, yes. Address every civilian sir or ma'am. If they have their 1sg hat on and you feel like it call them 1SG or top or call them sir or ma'am. They earned both.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Jul 7 at 2021 10:20 AM

SSG Ralph Watkins — Wed, 07 Jul 2021 10:20:01 -0400

I am retired now. I no longer work for a living. "Sir" is okay now.

Response by SMSgt Bob Wilson made Jul 8 at 2021 1:10 PM

SMSgt Bob Wilson — Thu, 08 Jul 2021 13:10:36 -0400

I prefer "Mary" or "John" in a social setting. I at work, at a military facility, the "Sir" or "Madam" is appropriate. On the street [shopping, a party, or happenstance] whatever, you decide. RANK?? In my opinion, once you retire, you become a PFC [Proud, Fat Civilian].

Response by LCDR Claire S. made Jul 21 at 2021 6:47 PM

LCDR Claire S. — Wed, 21 Jul 2021 18:47:02 -0400

I take my cue from Trey Gowdy, who even as a U.S. Congressman, addressed EVERYONE as sir and maam. I always thought his respect for all others in spite of his obvious high station immediately put him above most people he conversed with.