Signs that you learned military jargon before real (or American) English

2014-08-19T21:39:21-04:00

Some of you might've heard it, but first time for me by a 30-year Army veteran.

SFC and his wife are having marital problems. They show up at the conselor who pulls wife first to ask what the problems are. She gives 3 reasons why she is unhappy:

1. He ALWAYS wears a towel or underwear to cover himself
2. He ALWAYS picks his nose
3. He NEVER wants to be on the bottom

SFC is called in and briefed on wife's top 3 grievances, to which he replies:

1. I was always taught to "Cover your ass"
2. I was always taught to "Keep your nose clean"
3. I was always taught to "Stay on top of everything"

The end. Got one you want to share? The "floor" is yours

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Aug 20 at 2014 7:55 AM

2014-08-20T07:55:32-04:00

Gotta admit, I hadn't heard it either, but it's a good one!

Response by MSG John Wirts made Aug 21 at 2014 1:21 AM

2014-08-21T01:21:51-04:00

Mine was a little different.
The couple went in for counseling the counselor asked the wife what her complaints were. She said I want to be on top sometimes, and I would enjoy mutual oral sex. The counselor said that sounds reasonable, he turned to the husband and asked has your wife told you about her desires? The man answers yes. The counselor asks why won't you try these positions? The man said after my daddy got in trouble he told me to remember two things, don't f**k-up, and keep your nose clean. I stay out f trouble by remembering my daddy's advice.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made May 15 at 2018 7:18 AM

2018-05-15T07:18:48-04:00

They were all great ! Some gotta be altered a little dependent on the ones gonna read or hear them.. of course we gotta keep ‘em ‘Clean’ here.. that’s a given ...