Soldiers are very creative! What is the best excuse you have ever used/heard for being late?

1SG Christopher Turk — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 13:17:38 -0500

Response by 1SG Christopher Whiten made Jan 26 at 2014 2:45 PM

1SG Christopher Whiten — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 14:45:04 -0500

He said he would have made it to formation but he was stuck in a sex swing.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2014 2:47 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 14:47:13 -0500

I was going to be on time for our date; but, we caught another dustoff call on the way back.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2014 3:01 PM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:01:21 -0500

I can't recall any creative excuses 1SG but I do know that I don't accept any excuses after the time determined for a person to be late.  My men know to inform me that they may or will be late before the appointed time. 

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2014 3:25 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:25:52 -0500

"I was too drunk to wake up and I drank so much because of anxiety about being in such a high OPTEMPO unit." This guy just arrived from constant mission in Korea and reported to a "deploys maybe every two years and no one dies downrange" maintenance company, the Friday prior to missing the Monday PT formation. My head is still shaking a few years later.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2014 3:38 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:38:01 -0500

I forgot where I left my boots.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2014 1:00 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Feb 2014 01:00:58 -0500

I remember one time this airman had said the garbage truck parked in front of her driveway. Amazing how people do not really think these things out.. lol

Response by 1SG Johnny Carter made Feb 3 at 2014 6:28 PM

1SG Johnny Carter — Mon, 03 Feb 2014 18:28:40 -0500

Lol I had a Soldier that said his dog ate his keys!!! I then told him to bring the dog in and follow his until he handled business then well talk about his counseling! Miraculously the keys were found!!! Creative but not good enough, ole 1SG was born at night but not last night!!!! Lol

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2014 1:39 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 13:39:27 -0500

I once had a Soldier ask to get out of CQ because his father was coming into town that night. I swapped him out with another Soldier, no reason to doubt him at the time. A couple hours later I received a phone call from his father (Dad was a retired CSM), he was concerned about his son because of something that he stated. While talking with his dad, I asked him what time his flight was arriving that night. His dad gave that what the hell are you talking about HUH! over the phone. When I explained to him what the Soldier had told me, he said that he was not coming to visit and that the Soldier had a girlfriend coming to visit. (The Soldier was seperated at the time form his wife.) I had my squad leader call the Soldier to the office. When the Soldier showed up I put my phone on speaker while his dad listened. needless to say the truth finally came out and that Soldier was put back on CQ and counseled by me about inappropriate relationships while he was still married. It was a bonus when he tried to explain his actions to his father.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2014 3:48 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 03:48:07 -0400

1SG, A fellow lower enlisted soldier was late to formation claiming that his car would not start. This soldier lived in the same barracks building as myself which just so happens to be 500 meters, maybe less, away from our formation area. Needless to say, he walked everywhere on post for the next week.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 8 at 2014 2:05 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 02:05:30 -0400

Not the best excuse, but I had an AMN tell me she was playing video games and lost track of the time.

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Apr 8 at 2014 7:10 PM

MSgt Curtis Ellis — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 19:10:22 -0400

My dog actually "ate" parts of my uniform... Had to buy another set of
Dress Blues... I knew my supervisor and CO wouldn't believe me, so I
brought in what was left of them... They rolled over laughing!!! And I
still had to stand in formation in fatigues while everyone else was in
Blues!!! Ahhh... The days of being a young Airman!!!

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Apr 14 at 2014 11:05 PM

SSG Robert Burns — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 23:05:44 -0400

This just happened to me a month ago. I got to the gate at Ft. Jackson on basic training graduation day. That alone is enough to make you punch puppies. When I get up to the guard and go to grab my ID card out of my badge on my uniform, I notice that I don't have a single patch on my uniform. No name tapes, US ARMY, rank, nada. I had pulled all my stuff off my uniform for the previous day and stuck it all on another uniform. Somehow it wasn't the one I decided to wear.

I was late.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 14 at 2014 11:26 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 23:26:43 -0400

I was running late one morning...called the boss and whispered into the phone "Don't send the ransom money, I got away" will be there soon.....

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 15 at 2014 10:15 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 10:15:06 -0400

Flat tire...............6 times in one month!!

Now I have been driving for 18 years and have had one (1) flat tire. How in the heck can one person have six (6) in one month??? Some people don't know when an excuse is worn out!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 15 at 2014 10:27 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 10:27:02 -0400

Some of the best excuses are the ones that really happened. For example, I bought and drove an 1967 Karmann Ghia the last two years I was out at Schofield. I was headed off post for a unit event when the car started shaking violently and the rear tire fell off.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 15 at 2014 12:03 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 12:03:32 -0400

I have a push button start car. It dings and makes silly nosises for all sorts of things. I learned one morning that one of the "dings" means that the key is not detected. (Beyond the obnoxious ringing, there is a indicator light that flashes on the instrument cluster display "KEY NOT DETECTED".)

I made it to formation, but I did leave right after I was accounted for when I realized I would not be able to turn my car off without being stranded.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2014 9:39 AM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 09:39:05 -0400

I had a Soldier come back from lunch and tell my NCO he hit a bird with his car. Him and his wife pulled over to take the bird to the vet. My NCO and I just shook our head and said that's a new one get out of here Troop. Put that one in my tool kit if my Squadron XO ever ask where was I. Lol

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2014 9:40 AM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 09:40:25 -0400

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2014 10:10 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 10:10:09 -0400

Not a "late" story, but an inventive one and in the spirit of the thread I thought Id share. Soldier had gotten into some trouble and 1SG decided to take away civilian clothes and restrict the soldier to only wearing BDUs, PTs or Class As. Not restricted to post mind you but just no civies. So I write the counseling instructing the soldier to not wear his civilian clothes etc etc. This is on a friday. The following monday a fellow squad leader comes in and tells me he seen the soldier in civlian clothes at the club. I call the soldier in and ask him if this was true. He said yes. I then ask him if he was unclear on the restrictions that he was under, to which replied no, he understood perfectly. I then asked if he had blatantly just disregarded my counseling and the 1SG's directive. He said no, and the exact quote was: "No SSG Davenport, I did not violate your counseling. You told me not to wear MY civilian clothes, you didnt say I couldnt borrow some of my roommates and wear his!" I was dumbfounded. But it was a good one...best excuse I had heard in a long long time.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Apr 21 at 2014 11:17 AM

SSG Trevor S. — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 11:17:53 -0400

The soldier: "The gate guards decided to do a GI party on my car."

Response by SPC(P) Delcina Myers made Apr 21 at 2014 12:00 PM

SPC(P) Delcina Myers — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 12:00:44 -0400

Top, back in my beginning military days, I used prepaid phones... A lot... One prepaid phone in particular wouldn't work if there wasn't any service. I had moved in with a friend way out in the boonies of Missouri, where virgin mobile (at the time) didn't have service, causing my alarm to not go off. Yes, I had set my alarm for 4:30 am, and at 5:45 I wake up. I speed to drill, where I was counseled about not having a secondary alarm. I hated my unit, so I denied the counseling and stated that if I had known that my POS phone wouldn't work without service, I would have set a different alarm, and that a secondary alarm is not necessary for a soldier like me. I've never been late since then.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2014 5:43 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 17:43:48 -0400

The best excuse I ever heard from one of my Soldiers was that she did not show up for PT because her dog unplugged her alarm. So I called the house to get her status but she said her phone did not work because the dog unplugged that too. Myself and the other NCO that was with me could not even yell at this Soldier cause we were shocked and laughing so hard.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2014 6:22 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:22:24 -0400

Haha these are no BS Stories all from the same Soldier I had.
1. His dogs wouldn't let him leave the house (tried to attack him)
2. All his door knobs fell off
3 flat tire. He brought in a 3 year old receipt for a tire

Response by SSG Daniel Deiler made Apr 21 at 2014 6:41 PM

SSG Daniel Deiler — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:41:32 -0400

Not for being late...but for sleeping on duty. I was doing my rounds of my CQ's while on staff duty when I came around the corner to find one of them head down obviously sleeping. He must have sensed my presence or heard footsteps because he quickly made the "Hail Mary" gesture as if he had just finished praying and said "Amen." I couldn't even say anything because if I'd have started talking I would have ended up laughing.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 23 at 2014 9:34 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 21:34:17 -0400

"Cat stepped on my alarm." We couldn't keep a straight face after hearing that one. He actually stayed with that line despite our laughter.

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made May 2 at 2014 5:14 PM

SSgt Gregory Guina — Fri, 02 May 2014 17:14:21 -0400

I got lost

What do you mean you got lost

I couldn't find my way out of bed this morning

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2014 6:09 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 02 May 2014 18:09:04 -0400

Beats me, but the hands down best excuse is "I was pooping." Can't argue wih that!

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made May 2 at 2014 10:21 PM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Fri, 02 May 2014 22:21:12 -0400

Well a soldier claimed he locked himself INSIDE his barracks room and couldn't find the key to unlock his door. His PSG "kindly" if I may say, showed him how to manually unlock his door from the INSIDE without using a key. His words were, "See this feature on the door knob? This is how you unlock your door. You don't need a key to unlock your door from the INSIDE!" And then there was complete silence for a long 20 seconds as the soldier finally agreed, "You are right PSG, this is how I can get out of my room now and not ever be late again"

Response by SFC Walter Mack made May 3 at 2014 1:12 PM

SFC Walter Mack — Sat, 03 May 2014 13:12:27 -0400

My engine mount broke once going down the road. I nearly pooped when it happened, which would have given me two excuses.

Response by Cpl Benjamin Long made May 20 at 2014 2:31 PM

Cpl Benjamin Long — Tue, 20 May 2014 14:31:12 -0400

One of the LCpls was late to formation because the hooker he hired kidnapped him and chained him to the be bed all weekend long and after a long and elaborate escape story that is why he was late to formation...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2014 2:57 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 May 2014 14:57:29 -0400

Excuse the language but it is an imperative part of the story....

I had a Soldier that was late for PT. So I called his cell phone and asked where he was and if he was alright. He said that he was running late but too embarrassed to tell me why. So I told him it was my duty to know where my Soldiers are at all times and that he needed to not be nervous because I have heard it all (mind you this was one of my All-Star Soldiers)

He responds back with....

"Sarge, I shit myself on the drive into work"

I say to him "Sounds like a shitty deal, take the rest of the day off and let me know if you need anything".

Response by CWO4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 11 at 2014 9:32 PM

CWO4 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 21:32:09 -0400

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made Jun 11 at 2014 9:32 PM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 21:32:52 -0400

Soldier once claimed that he drove the wrong way for 50 miles before realizing he was not at Ft Campbell

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 12 at 2014 7:43 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 19:43:51 -0400

I was watching the 2014 Taliban draft pick on CNN.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 13 at 2014 12:22 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 00:22:52 -0400

I had an NCO who missed 0900 formation a few years ago. He was generally squared away so it was out of character for this to happen. He did call me prior to 0900 to let me know he was missing formation, but he refused to tell me why. When he finally showed up at 1030 I made him tell me what was going on. He very reluctantly told me what had happened.

He went into the Battalion Headquarters prior to the formation to check his email. He tucked his beret into the back of his trousers just like he did everyday and started to check his email. Suddenly his stomach went crazy so he ran to the bathroom. He barely got his pants down in time to avoid crapping his pants, but when he was done he noticed that his beret had fallen in the toilet and he crapped on it. The reason he didn't show up until 1030 is because he had to wait for clothing and sales to open at 1000. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even be mad at the guy.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 13 at 2014 1:49 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 13:49:27 -0400

I thought today was Saturday not Friday...

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2014 5:53 AM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 15 Jun 2014 05:53:51 -0400

1SG, I use my cell phone as an alarm. For some reason the idiots who came up with this model made it so that you can't manually fix the time. If my phone loses any sort of network access, the internal clock gets WAY off!

One night the cell towers were out for some reason, and I had to get up at 0420 that morning. My phone thought it was 0315 when my NCO was calling me at 0630 wondering where the fuck I was...

Had to explain that whole thing, got off a little easy.
(now I have to set backup alarm on my wife's phone, that doesn't get stupid when it loses network access)

(tl;dr alarm didn't go off, legitimate reason)

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2014 3:17 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Oct 2014 15:17:35 -0400

We were loading weapons at NavWepSta Yorktown in preparation for 6 month overseas deployment. There were two of my troops that were in process of completing some work on some equipment we had repaired - both squared away. Weapons are loaded, troops and gear not aboard... we get underweigh on time due to the tides. As we sail through one bridge my cell phone rings. Thinking it might be my wife I answer. "Hi PO1 this is PO3 Schmukatelly! If you lower the rhib and meet us on the shore we'll be glad to come aboard!" I'm looking around and see two sailors waving wildly on the far shore. I go up to the bridge and catch my division officer's eye and pass the message. The Div-O has a conversation with the CO who nods for me to come over. Permission is granted. I take a small boat out to pick up the sailors and gear. We get aboard, make our report. I then turn to the PO's in question to get their answer to the obvious question. Turns out the bridge had been erroneously raised early - or so they claimed. I asked one question: "who was driving their vehicle back?" The both looked at me stunned. One finally says: "I guess we'll pick itup when we get back?"

It took me 20 minutes to stop laughing......

Response by SPC Paul Shene III made Oct 5 at 2014 3:36 PM

SPC Paul Shene III — Sun, 05 Oct 2014 15:36:13 -0400

during my active military time (both my for training and for my deployment) I have NEVER been late to anything I was required to be at.

Been late coming back from lunch on drill weekend once... the excuse I gave was "the Captain was driving"

Response by SGT Richard H. made Oct 9 at 2014 8:54 PM

SGT Richard H. — Thu, 09 Oct 2014 20:54:25 -0400

When I was in Germany, we had a PV2 in my squad that was from Hawaii, went to Basic in Ft. Benning in the spring, and arrived in late summer. Sometime in October or November it snowed one night....just enough to turn the ground (partially) white...less than 1/2". Just before first Formation, The CQ seeks me out, laughing, and says PVT Ho is on the phone for you so I go grab the phone. "Ho, where the hell are you. Formation is in 10 minutes. You're already late!". There's a brief silence and Ho says "I'm snowed in SGT"

Response by SGM Billy Herrington made Mar 9 at 2015 10:02 PM

SGM Billy Herrington — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 22:02:02 -0400

When I went to ANCOC in 2008 oir times were crossed for formation on day 1. I knew the senior very well, we went back aways; so as the bulk of us sashayed up and I saw him sitting on a folding stool I knew what was coming.

To make a long story short he scuffed us up. This didn't sit well with some of the other SSG's. We all know the type of guys. Anywho, afterwards he was just babbling about this and that. Two guys roll up together; it was an hour later, and I see the steam building.

In not so nice of a question he asks them what is going on. They reply in unison, "mountain time sergeant." All anyone could do was laugh. They were from the mountain time zone and we were in central.

Response by SFC Walter Mack made Mar 11 at 2015 9:37 PM

SFC Walter Mack — Wed, 11 Mar 2015 21:37:49 -0400

My favorite is, "I had to poop!"

I can't argue with that one.

I did call in once because my engine mount broke and the engine was grinding against the sidewall inside the hood. That was a rough day in the Army.

Response by Devin Gingry made Dec 6 at 2016 10:37 AM

Devin Gingry — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 10:37:17 -0500

What would be the best reasons for joining the Marines?

Response by SSG Andrew Dydasco made Oct 16 at 2017 9:38 PM

SSG Andrew Dydasco — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 21:38:49 -0400

The ones that worked.