Soldiers wife leaves him for another man. Soldier has to pay her 2/3 of his housing allowance!!!

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 23:49:10 -0400

So I have had close to ten Soldiers of mine throughout my career that have had their wives leave them. Sometimes for other men, sometimes during deployment and sometimes for no reason. What I dont understand is if she leaves him for another guy, why does JAG make him pay her 2/3 of his housing allowance. She had a home, she chose to leave. Now this Soldier is forced to give upwards of 800 dollars to her. How does he afford to pay his current rent. I have taken my Soldier to JAG to figure this out and only get the "thats the regulation" answer. Even if the Soldier and their Spouse mutually agree to split why does the Army decide on a mandatory minimum? Maybe she makes more money and doesn't need it. Sorry if I offended anyone with the "she" being the Spouse. I just didnt want to write she/he everytime.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Jul 17 at 2015 12:05 AM

COL Charles Williams — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 00:05:28 -0400

I don't agree, or condone, but I believe that is law based on the AR...

Response by SN Greg Wright made Jul 17 at 2015 12:12 AM

SN Greg Wright — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 00:12:13 -0400

This is a dinosaur result of our sexist society. Of course, feminazis will cry 'she deserves it', rather than calling for an equal share, which is how it should be (and how real feminists would want it.)

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 17 at 2015 12:13 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 00:13:24 -0400

SSG Johnson, I will never know why JAG always defaults for the civilian. It might be time to get advice from a civilian lawyer. JAG will always protect the service first. The soldier needs to find a "friend" in JAG that will give him the straight skinny. Or time to find a civilian lawyer that might be willing to give advice pro bono. Or possibly LTC John G Shaw, MBA, JD. might be able to set you on the right track. COL Shaw is on RP and from what I have observed, he has his act together. Good luck. De Oppresso Liber. Tom

Response by PO1 Shahida Marmol made Jul 17 at 2015 1:15 AM

PO1 Shahida Marmol — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 01:15:56 -0400

That is ridiculous! If he has actually proof of infidelity, take her to a civilian attorney and file for divorce. She stepped out, so no waiting period is necessary. And she has no ground to ask for support.

Response by MSG Bobby Ewing made Jul 17 at 2015 1:25 AM

MSG Bobby Ewing — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 01:25:55 -0400

COLOR Williams is correct. I had to handle three diffuclt cases dealing with "Family Separation" pay as outlined in AR 608-99. There is a formula that dictates the amount of money a Soldier is required to provide his/her "Dependents". Once a divorce is finalized and there is no civil court order or something, the funds stop. Remember, every case is unqiue, so there are multiple factors that force the Army and Soldier's decisions. Best advice I could give to "ALL" parties is collect the evidence that supports your case and go to civilian court. Once that is done, the AR doesn't apply. Hope this information helps she'd a little light on this. I was truly amazed by all this when hit with my first case.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Jul 17 at 2015 1:27 AM

SSG (ret) William Martin — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 01:27:14 -0400

Well there is no point to state the regulation answer for that is already known. I think the Army is playing CYA. I have had the same experience with my own Soldiers. What makes it easier on the SM is if there is family housing and the SM can stay somewhere else. If they are renting or making payments on a home, and she does not wish to stay there, The SM will have to come up with that money. If the SM is paying for his or her car payment, the SM will still have to come up with that money. It is a process that has the potential to get very ugly.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 17 at 2015 10:19 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 10:19:18 -0400

What I am learning the hard way is how this situation can turn what you believe in firmly on its ear. My (soon-to-be-ex) wife and I were a team for 16 years. We worked together through everything. It wasn't "fair", but it was working for us... until it wasn't.
But you can't just throw away years of teamwork and expect each to be autonomous right away, especially when there are children involved.
The solution we hit on, painful as it has been, is to continue to live together throughout the divorce process. It is a matter of practicality. If we had both gone our own way when she filed, we would have very possibly both sunk financially. She under the burden of the debts she had run up, me on the amount of support I would have had to provide in order for the kids to be looked after properly when she had them.
At the end of the day, we should work out something that will work for both of us. If we couldn't, the only one it would hurt is the children. Part of me wants to stick it to her - it was her choice to leave after all - but we have been a team this long, and we always will be when it comes to the kids.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 17 at 2015 10:52 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 10:52:52 -0400

This is from an antiquated law from back in the day when the lady spouses did not work and if a divorce did happen then they could have some income in order to survive. Fast forward to the years of today, even though many a spouse (soon to be ex) has a job or a job lined up, that money still has to be coughed up. Many people have pushed to have that old law removed, but it still stands to this day.

Response by SGT Douglas Blackwood made Jul 19 at 2015 3:49 PM

SGT Douglas Blackwood — Sun, 19 Jul 2015 15:49:47 -0400

Spousal initiated divorce of a service member should be considered forfeiture of military benefits. They chose to leave, therefore they chose to give up those benefits. Period.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 21 at 2015 8:55 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 20:55:24 -0400

JAG is great and all but getting a lawyer in the long run will work out better.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Aug 1 at 2015 7:40 PM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 19:40:17 -0400

This is wrong. She should get nothing!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 2 at 2015 4:46 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 16:46:05 -0400

My ex cost me a total of half a million. It has taken me 10 years to start rebounding financially.

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Aug 2 at 2015 6:35 PM

MSgt Curtis Ellis — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 18:35:36 -0400

I'v seen this end differently than what you describe... If it's infidelity, etc, most, if not all of the ones I know of have/had it included in the divorce decree that the ex forfeits this (BAH/Retirement/etc), and the member submits the decree to the DAF as the spouses agreement for no entitlement, they will honor it, otherwise, yes, the soldier pays...

Response by SMSgt Tony Barnes made Aug 2 at 2015 6:41 PM

SMSgt Tony Barnes — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 18:41:16 -0400

Air Force regs just say they must provide support...no dollar figure. It's a shame the Army chooses to micromanage.

Response by SGT John W Lugo made Aug 2 at 2015 7:58 PM

SGT John W Lugo — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 19:58:22 -0400

Sounds like they work for domestic relations,since that's how that Department acts when it comes to a man ,or woman starting a new life if the other partner has primary custody of the kids. Your new life doesn't matter.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 2 at 2015 8:40 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 20:40:28 -0400

Its a shame that more small businesses succeed in this country than marriages.....I wonder if that may be a sign of what's wrong with our collective moral compass.

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Response by SGT Darrell Wine made Aug 14 at 2018 5:05 AM

SGT Darrell Wine — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 05:05:01 -0400

Where is the emotional, and financial support for the Soldiers going through a spouse taking everything from you while on deployment. My unit punished me. I wanted to end it all. I don't get to see my kids. I was forced to retire because they refuse to let me transfer to a closer Guard unit. Why doesn't the Military care about their personnel.

Response by SGT Darrell Wine made Aug 14 at 2018 5:10 AM

SGT Darrell Wine — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 05:10:21 -0400

I don't receive my retirement for 12yrs. The state of Florida charged me 1200.00 dollars a month child support. I can't find a job that pays what the military payed me. My skills are useless.