Posted on Nov 9, 2015
Story time. What is the most outlandish attempt to get a badge or medal you've seen?
266K
196
63
42
42
0
Most of us have seen some pretty *ahem* "creative" stories in order to get a CAB or CIB. Other times, medals are on the line, because they "just don't have that one yet". I have seen a bunch in my time, so I'll share my favorite, and maybe sprinkle in a few more if this discussion catches on like I think it will:
So when I was in Iraq back in 2005, we had a Major who had this bit when we went on a mission. He wanted everyone to stand outside the doors of their M-1114s, all lock and load, and SIMULTANEOUSLY get in and close the doors in unison while he recited his mantra: "Cowboy up, lock and load, Rangers lead the way". I know, I know, terrible. It was even worse when it wasn't good enough and we had to do it again to get it right.
Well, our motor pool and assembly area was on the outer perimeter of the FOB, and once in a while we'd take a little harassing SAF or more commonly, mortar rounds while we were getting ready from some nearby buildings on a hill. Most recently, the week before this fateful mission. So Major H--- goes through the "cowboy up" bit, and right when he gets to "Rangers lead the way" a shot rings out. Everyone takes cover, except a certain Staff Sergeant who saw the whole thing. The team was shouting out checks on each other and trying to get the three D's... while the SSG calmly walks up on MAJ H--- writhing on the ground.
"Are you OK, sir?"
"A...A... I think I shot my foot!" Doofus had ND'd a 9mm round. And he didn't miss.
"MEDIC!"
"Who's hurt?"
"Major H--- has a 9mm diameter wound in his foot!"
"Oh...ooooohhh..."
So the good Major was Medevac'd, just ahead of a vengeful (then) BG Carter Ham looking for blood from the Field Grade who had ND'd a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Lucky for him, he went to Kuwait and later Landstuhl before too much harm could come his way.
A week passes, and I get a phone call from Major H--- from Germany. After pleasantries and inquiring after his health (lots of surgeries to insert pins to fix the broken foot bones) he gets down to the purpose of his call. He wants to know what the status of his Purple Heart was.
"What Purple Heart?" was my incredulous response.
Threats ensue. I think he was hoping the circumstances of his early departure from theater would be kept low key. It was, for the most part. Except for the angry CG. He says "According to AR 600-8-22, you can receive a Purple Heart for friendly fire."
Finishing it for him, I quote "if it is directed at the enemy."
We go back and forth for a bit, then he asks to talk to the commander. Now the commander had a large bite taken out of his behind by the CG just a week earlier, and had just finished the 15-6 on it a couple of days earlier. I walk down the hall and tell him the deal. He says (paraphrased) "You tell Major H--- that not only will I not support it, he is to file for reassignment as soon as he gets back to the states." Sprinkled with cursing, of course.
Since my phone lacked a "hold" button, I had left it off the hook. When I returned, I asked Major H--- of he caught all that.
"Yes", he says, fairly quietly.
Then I said "Look, sir. We both know what is going on here. You want to go home and tell everyone how you got "Shot in Iraq", never mind how that happened." I gave him a piece of my mind and hung up.
Later, the BC wanted to talk about a letter of reprimand, but I'm pretty sure he didn't follow through.
I did have one last laugh, when I suggested to the CSM that he invite Major H--- to the next dining out and present him with an Up-armored Combat Boot with a bulls-eye painted on the top.
So when I was in Iraq back in 2005, we had a Major who had this bit when we went on a mission. He wanted everyone to stand outside the doors of their M-1114s, all lock and load, and SIMULTANEOUSLY get in and close the doors in unison while he recited his mantra: "Cowboy up, lock and load, Rangers lead the way". I know, I know, terrible. It was even worse when it wasn't good enough and we had to do it again to get it right.
Well, our motor pool and assembly area was on the outer perimeter of the FOB, and once in a while we'd take a little harassing SAF or more commonly, mortar rounds while we were getting ready from some nearby buildings on a hill. Most recently, the week before this fateful mission. So Major H--- goes through the "cowboy up" bit, and right when he gets to "Rangers lead the way" a shot rings out. Everyone takes cover, except a certain Staff Sergeant who saw the whole thing. The team was shouting out checks on each other and trying to get the three D's... while the SSG calmly walks up on MAJ H--- writhing on the ground.
"Are you OK, sir?"
"A...A... I think I shot my foot!" Doofus had ND'd a 9mm round. And he didn't miss.
"MEDIC!"
"Who's hurt?"
"Major H--- has a 9mm diameter wound in his foot!"
"Oh...ooooohhh..."
So the good Major was Medevac'd, just ahead of a vengeful (then) BG Carter Ham looking for blood from the Field Grade who had ND'd a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Lucky for him, he went to Kuwait and later Landstuhl before too much harm could come his way.
A week passes, and I get a phone call from Major H--- from Germany. After pleasantries and inquiring after his health (lots of surgeries to insert pins to fix the broken foot bones) he gets down to the purpose of his call. He wants to know what the status of his Purple Heart was.
"What Purple Heart?" was my incredulous response.
Threats ensue. I think he was hoping the circumstances of his early departure from theater would be kept low key. It was, for the most part. Except for the angry CG. He says "According to AR 600-8-22, you can receive a Purple Heart for friendly fire."
Finishing it for him, I quote "if it is directed at the enemy."
We go back and forth for a bit, then he asks to talk to the commander. Now the commander had a large bite taken out of his behind by the CG just a week earlier, and had just finished the 15-6 on it a couple of days earlier. I walk down the hall and tell him the deal. He says (paraphrased) "You tell Major H--- that not only will I not support it, he is to file for reassignment as soon as he gets back to the states." Sprinkled with cursing, of course.
Since my phone lacked a "hold" button, I had left it off the hook. When I returned, I asked Major H--- of he caught all that.
"Yes", he says, fairly quietly.
Then I said "Look, sir. We both know what is going on here. You want to go home and tell everyone how you got "Shot in Iraq", never mind how that happened." I gave him a piece of my mind and hung up.
Later, the BC wanted to talk about a letter of reprimand, but I'm pretty sure he didn't follow through.
I did have one last laugh, when I suggested to the CSM that he invite Major H--- to the next dining out and present him with an Up-armored Combat Boot with a bulls-eye painted on the top.
Awards
Badges
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 22
18
18
0
Similar....we left late one lovely Iraqi evening to set up a snap TCP along Route Bronze in Al Anbar Province to capture (kill) a HVT in early 2006. We were hit by a suicide VBIED/fuel tanker. The initial blast killed about a dozen IA's. The Scout PSG and I secured the perimeter and pulled in two wounded civilians for medical treatment....our Medical Officer had been on the objective with us and left with the medevac bird to take the civ casualty to Al Asad....later asking for sworn statements to support a BSM V!
Not no, but hell no! You do not receive an award for Valor by leaving your people, that was the last time the medo left with any maneuver element!
Not no, but hell no! You do not receive an award for Valor by leaving your people, that was the last time the medo left with any maneuver element!
(18)
(0)
1SG (Join to see)
That was my first thought, CSM Michael J. Uhlig. What the devil is the MEDO doing out on a TCP? If ever there was a guy who should stay on the FOB, the MEDO is it.
(2)
(0)
17
17
0
After retirement I was a private contractor in Afghanistan running the QRF at the Embassy in Kabul. One morning we started to receive artillery and mortar rounds in and around the embassy and diplomatic housing. I was running around positioning our forces to prevent an assault and trying to move State Dept employees into safe locations. I must have ran about 6 miles going from location to location checking my men, ensuring positions were manned and overseeing the evacuation of NGO employees. Because there's a large contingent of Military Staff officers assigned at the Embassy, I got to know a few of them. They have their SOP's to follow in case of hostilities and we respected each others roles. The attack was real, lasted a few hours but no injury or loss of life. About 3 weeks go by and this Major shows up in my office with a write up for a BSM with V device and asked if I could add my impute in writing before he turns it in. The BSM was written by him, for him and was full of flaws in accuracy. It stated that he led the safe evacuation of all NGO employees, provided a screening action and establish SBF positions to direct fire if a breech was attempted. Now the embassy has about a million cameras covering every thing from the pool to the guard towers to their bar so nothing is unseen. Last time I ran from one position I seen this major huddled in an underground tunnel with a bunch of USAID people eating MRE's. For validity of his award statement I went back to the footage and seen that he never left the tunnel and remained there the entire time. I asked him if he wanted us to forward the video to the approving authority for his BSM. He laughed it off an left. What a POS.
(17)
(0)
1SG (Join to see)
And he would have submitted (and might have actually done so) and kept the medal and told anyone who would listen how valiant he was.
(1)
(0)
11
11
0
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google