Posted on Sep 28, 2020
The wife and I are getting a divorce. She is not going to my next duty station with me and I PCS soon. What do I do?
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Divorce
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1. Change your DFAS bank account to one she doesn’t have access to.
2. Create an allotment for the BAH amount legally required. Ask JAG, they can give you the formula.
3. Get a lawyer.
4. Ask her for a separation agreement. If you both can agree on terms in advance of the divorce, this can make the process easier and less expensive.
Don’t let her get a piece of your retirement. It is a common misconception that this is only possible after 10 years marriage. That is not true. If she asks for it, tell her you are getting out after your enlistment is up. “I was only staying in because of you.” Tell her you’re going back to college or something so she chases other things that are less valuable.
Best of luck. I’ve seen many folks get burned on divorces in the Army. Try to be smart and stay one step ahead.
2. Create an allotment for the BAH amount legally required. Ask JAG, they can give you the formula.
3. Get a lawyer.
4. Ask her for a separation agreement. If you both can agree on terms in advance of the divorce, this can make the process easier and less expensive.
Don’t let her get a piece of your retirement. It is a common misconception that this is only possible after 10 years marriage. That is not true. If she asks for it, tell her you are getting out after your enlistment is up. “I was only staying in because of you.” Tell her you’re going back to college or something so she chases other things that are less valuable.
Best of luck. I’ve seen many folks get burned on divorces in the Army. Try to be smart and stay one step ahead.
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Patricia Overmeyer
SGM (Join to see) - Not true that the separation agreement where the military retirement is not mentioned will protect the service member in court. I've won those cases where I represented the former spouse, there was a separation agreement signed by the parties and no mention of the military retirement/SBP. I've talked with other attorneys who practice in other states where it's pretty much the same law regarding separation agreements.
When not all assets/debts are listed in the separation agreement then they are not considered to have been awarded to any particular party and they are not waived by either of the parties. All known assets/debts must be specifically listed in the separation agreement. If the separation agreement omits any known assets/debts and there is no specific language which waives the right to them, then those assets/debts will be litigated in the divorce.
When not all assets/debts are listed in the separation agreement then they are not considered to have been awarded to any particular party and they are not waived by either of the parties. All known assets/debts must be specifically listed in the separation agreement. If the separation agreement omits any known assets/debts and there is no specific language which waives the right to them, then those assets/debts will be litigated in the divorce.
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SFC Kelly Fuerhoff
Patricia Overmeyer - OMFG ok I get it. It's about direct payments. JFC chill out. I don't need multiple people repeating the same thing to me over and over. I talked to a friend of mine who was a JAG lawyer, 30 year judge, etc too. I got it clarified. Calm down.
Yes it's a common perception about the 10 years. Probably because it gets told incorrectly to people.
I don't think there's any judge if my ex husband tried to come at me in 4 years and try to get half my retirement would say yes when he didn't show up for the divorce so I got a default decree. He has no parenting plan because he didn't show up and until he does the online parenting course and mediation, it's my discretion on parenting time. Add in that he's been in and out of jail/prison and rehab since our divorce 5 years ago - I can't see of any judge IF he had the fortitude to take me to court for it actually getting it. I will fight that shit tooth and nail if that ever came close to fruition. He already mooched 3/4 of my savings from deployments and reenlistments out of me. Doesn't pay child support. Or half of daycare in 5 years for our daughter let alone any child support for his other kids. People like that don't deserve half of anything no matter the length of the marriage when they never contributed to the marriage.
Yes it's a common perception about the 10 years. Probably because it gets told incorrectly to people.
I don't think there's any judge if my ex husband tried to come at me in 4 years and try to get half my retirement would say yes when he didn't show up for the divorce so I got a default decree. He has no parenting plan because he didn't show up and until he does the online parenting course and mediation, it's my discretion on parenting time. Add in that he's been in and out of jail/prison and rehab since our divorce 5 years ago - I can't see of any judge IF he had the fortitude to take me to court for it actually getting it. I will fight that shit tooth and nail if that ever came close to fruition. He already mooched 3/4 of my savings from deployments and reenlistments out of me. Doesn't pay child support. Or half of daycare in 5 years for our daughter let alone any child support for his other kids. People like that don't deserve half of anything no matter the length of the marriage when they never contributed to the marriage.
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1SG Rick Seekman
Aren't you a rocket scientist..
Thats some despicable info you translated without knowing this individuals story.
Brilliant!
Thats some despicable info you translated without knowing this individuals story.
Brilliant!
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SGM (Join to see)
1SG Rick Seekman thanks for your input on this post from three months ago! I hope your comment helps the original poster!!!
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SGT (Join to see) Go see your 1SG Now, and then the S-1, just understand "getting divorced" is not the same as divorced and HR as well as senior S/G 1 folks have likely seen more than a few "I'm getting divorced and need my orders changed" scams run ...so they may be concerned in just taking your word. Documents, documents, documents..heck maybe even a signed (and notarized) statement from your soon to be ex-wife may all be requested to support your request.
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Until you are legally divorced - it doesn't matter what you're planning to do. Go to JAG - they can't represent you in family law but they can provide with the right direction. When I was at Ft Riley they had a class people who wanted to divorce were supposed to go to but it was for information purposes. (I was going to divorce my ex husband 8 months sooner than I actually did but changed my mind).
I hope you don't have any kids together, that will make it a little easier. But you need to get a lawyer and get the divorce done as soon as you can. Find lawyers who offer free consultations to start with. That's at least 30 min of free legal advice - REAL legal advice not strangers on the Internet.
I hope you don't have any kids together, that will make it a little easier. But you need to get a lawyer and get the divorce done as soon as you can. Find lawyers who offer free consultations to start with. That's at least 30 min of free legal advice - REAL legal advice not strangers on the Internet.
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