Time for a laugh -- Best job-specific songs!

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:05:50 -0400

We all know the songs that have been turned into cadences, but what about those for the rest of us? Post your best funny song about your military job, or invent one if there isn't one yet!

I'll start, with my own branch, Military Intelligence:

The Ballad of the MI Soldier
(To the tune of "Ballad of the Green Beret")

We're the Soldiers of M.I.
Air-conditioned or we cry.
Got radios to spread the news,
Ice-cold beer to chase the blues.

At Huachuca they learn their trade,
M.I. Soldiers have it made,
One hundred men will test today,
None will fail - it's the M.I. way!

M.I. men at fighting peak,
Six hours a day, four days a week,
Cocktail parties on Saturday --
You can keep your green beret!

Vis-a-vis pens in red and blue
Our only weapons, sad but true.
No M-16s within our ranks.
No hand grenades. No noisy tanks.

Time to take a PT Test,
Do it all while at their desk,
Push-ups, sit-ups, two mile run,
Max it all with just their thumb!

Time to go out to the field,
No wimping out, their fate is sealed,
Pogey-bait; TVs to view,
Cammo clashes with M.I. blue.

Back at home, a young wife waits.
Her M.I. man has met his fate.
In the field, wore too few clothes,
And now he's got a runny nose.

No silver wings upon their chest.
They may not be America's best.
But see them now at sixty-five.
They may be soft, but they're alive.

The fighting Soldiers of M.I.
The rest of the Army just asks "Why?"
But within our ranks there is a cheer,
As we voucher-off our Redtrain Beer.

"Always out Front" is on their crest,
But that was penned just as a jest,
A better motto is offered here:
"We're in the Rear, with All the Gear!"

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Aug 28 at 2014 8:16 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:16:44 -0400

Excellent, Sir! Spent some time with MI myself! I don't have a song to add, but do have some MI humor for you!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 18 at 2014 4:38 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 16:38:14 -0400

Where would the INFANTRY be without their INTELLIGENT counter parts. We may be smart in many operational situations but your team provides us with the devilish details to make our actions count. Thinking while on your toes can be compared on many platforms and yours is not easy. I don't claim to know the "ins and outs" of that profession but I do know it was vital to our missions success.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 18 at 2014 4:49 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 16:49:36 -0400

A runny nose, eh, MAJ Private RallyPoint Member? Very funny! And a lot of truth in that comedy. That's why I'm so glad I had four years of infantry before I switched to MI. I got a taste (at least a taste) of the "real Army." Thanks for sharing that!

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made Oct 18 at 2014 5:18 PM

PO2 Rocky Kleeger — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 17:18:04 -0400

The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride,
For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at his side.
For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share,
And the quaint and curious costumes that we're called upon to wear.

Now Al joined up to do his part defending you and me.
He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty.
With the hell of war he's come to grips,
Policing up the filter tips,
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

When Pete was only in the seventh grade, he stabbed a cop.
He's real R.A. material and he was glad to swap
His switchblade and his old zip gun
For a bayonet and a new M-1.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

After Johnny got through basic training, he
Was a soldier through and through when he was done.
It's effects were so well rooted,
That the next day he saluted
A Good Humor man, an usher, and a nun.

Now Fred's an intellectual, brings a book to every meal.
He likes the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.
He thinks the army's just the thing,
Because he finds it broadening.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Now Ed flunked out of second grade, and never finished school.
He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool.
But he's going to be a big success.
He heads his class at OCS.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war.
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
To think of all the marvellous ways
They're using plastics nowadays.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Our lieutenant is the up-and-coming type.
Played with soldiers as a boy you just can bet.
It is written in the stars
He will get his captain's bars,
But he hasn't got enough box tops yet.

Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell.
He's from Georgia, and he doesn't speak the language very well.
He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz.
It makes a fella proud to be,
Why, as a kid I vowed to be,
What luck to be allowed to be
A soldier. (At ease!)

Response by PFC Zanie Young made Nov 4 at 2014 8:32 AM

PFC Zanie Young — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 08:32:07 -0500

Kind of reminds me of the Signal Corps...