Veteran Suicide, are we all doing enough to help one another out?

2014-07-09T19:44:05-04:00

This goes out to all my brothers and sisters. You are all heavy on my mind today, whether enjoying the civilian life or still eating dust serving our Nation. Remember you are not alone, we the valiant few who have made the choice to give all we have for others, are with you. Many have fallen and joined the ranks of the immortals, now is not your time. There is no problem that cannot be addressed, no obstacle that cannot be overcome. The valley of despair may be low and wide but there is a river of life and a top to reach. If you need an ear, a shoulder, anything I am here, and if not me, someone is there. Just as we pushed through the dust and dirt the grit and grim, it has been proven we all have the ability to overcome and continue with the mission whatever it may be. Reach out, speak up, be heard, no voice is to small nor mountain to tall, make the call and say “hey brother, I need some help.”

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 10 at 2014 12:27 AM

2014-07-10T00:27:25-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member thank you for this post. I agree. But not only should they speak up but we as brothers and sisters need to listen and observe. Be aware and never timid to ask straight forward questions. Do not be afraid to offend, but rather take the risk and know that you are doing it out of love for your fellow family member. We are all family and we need to take better care of each other. We got each other's back in theater when the bullets fly, why can we not do the same when we are there not on patrol or home or retired? There are so many resources available. Just ask (for help or ask them the hard questions). From there you can seek help and the right resources.

I do not always have the answers, but I for sure will try my hardest to get one from whoever is the expert.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jul 10 at 2014 9:54 PM

2014-07-10T21:54:38-04:00

We're all trying to voice our support and when possible be there for each other. On Memorial Day we here in RI lost one of our own tragically by their own hand. I can't even begin to imagine the depths of pain despair one has to sink to even contemplate such an act. It can always be said that we can do more and that's why we receive post deployment counselling and training in what to look for so we can police our own. We unfortunately can't be with each other 24/7. We can only hope and pray that the SM in trouble is receptive to the support and can be swayed back on to the straight and narrow.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made Jul 10 at 2014 10:06 PM

2014-07-10T22:06:01-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have been in that valley on more than one occasion, and thanks to family, friends and people such as yourself, I have never acted on those thoughts. I am also here for anyone who needs help. I have an AAS in chemical dependency with a minor in psychology. One loss in our small community is one too many in my opinion. I am begging anyone who is in need of help with whatever the problem please reach out, we are here for each other. We are family, and we support our brothers and sisters who are in need. None of us are alone, our voices are heard by many here and at your homes. Life is short enough for those who serve, don't make yours any shorter by taking it away. Remember you are loved, needed, and wanted by friends, family, and your RallyPoint community. Please be heard.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 10 at 2014 10:46 PM

2014-07-10T22:46:43-04:00

Gentlemen, Thank you for your wisdom and advice! To expound on this a bit further, living in the DC area, the amount of homeless which is a whole other subject in of itself, is staggering. Many of them are vets and some are not granted, but how many times during our daily lives do we pass by someone struggling not just visually like the homeless. But in our workplaces, the eatery’s, streets we walk and drive, just about every part of our day, and even in our own homes. Credit is due to the amount of services available to all nowadays. But with 22 vets a day giving up and ending the battle, how can we engage better to reduce this trend and keep those that have given so much already from giving it all. While in service the resources and team around you do better than the average citizen, so why is it that our vets are not? I would like your thoughts on how to get at the root of this, to reach out and find those vets that are struggling and most likely won’t reach out. We cannot leave it up to them to say Help Me! As they will suffer in silence, not all but a good majority will in my opinion. Reduction of the stigma must continue, it still exists today even in uniform. PTSD is not always the case, it is popular and sexy for now, but so many more mental health issues exist that are not PTSD, that still effect a suicide scenario.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 11 at 2014 12:37 AM

2014-07-11T00:37:08-04:00

I am so saddened right now....just found out on Facebook that a fellow shipmate from VP-4, Chris Henderson, took his life and his wife today, leaving his children behind. I wish I had thought to check on him before it got this bad. My heart is heavy and my eyes burn with tears....farewells and following seas, buddy. You are truly, truly missed - not just by me but by all your shipmates, family and friends who have made remarks and said prayers on your Facebook page. RIP Chris Henderson...

Response by CPT Richard Riley made Jul 13 at 2014 2:21 PM

2014-07-13T14:21:12-04:00

I think that everyone here extends their best effort to assist any way they can. This has been proven out on multiple occasions when someone asks for help and receives multiple contacts & efforts to help resolve the situation. Certainly LTC Private RallyPoint Member has it right, be honest and straight with the individual and always watch each others 6. To do less is a disservice to ourselves and each other.

None of us have all the answers, but there are resources available on this site to help get started in the right direction. Col Private RallyPoint Member thread on resources is a good place to start.

Response by SSG William Patton made Jul 13 at 2014 9:00 PM

2014-07-13T21:00:51-04:00

Great post SFC. I have dealt with it for 43 years and it was not until about 30 years ago, I did something about it. I went to the VA early on, but they blew me off to which I said, FU and left. My cartharsis began when I finished college and a professor made the class write an essay on the most profound experience we had as an adolescent. That was easy for me, Vietnam. In writing the paper I remembered events long supressed and some I chose to not share because they were not appropriate; to graphic. But, just remembering them and putting them in context helped. What I did put on paper was tough enough and then I had to read it to the class. I also set up a slide presentation with the background music from the song "19", which is about babies in war. I cried like a baby that night, but that is when the healing began. I begged the professor to let me pass, but he was wise to force me to read it. Healing began that night, but it did not make it all go away. I am very concerned for my brothers and sisters returning from our current wars. Their suicide rate is nearly 4 times higher than the average for non-military and the system does not seem to be there for them either. It is up to us, we veterans, to extend our hands, like you said, and get them the help they need.