What advice do you have for an NCO who is an introvert? How to be successful in the military?

SSG Waldo Yamada — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 21:00:15 -0500

     I have been in the service for 9 years and being an introvert took a hard toll on me in the enlisted ranks. I was forced to be outgoing and learned to express my thoughts through the constant environment of extroverts. So for my self development I tried learning and reading self help books in order to get my mindset and get myself out of the shyness gutter. Until I ran into the MBTI while searching online. I took the test and figured out my personality which states that I am an INTP. For those of you who don't know an INTP, they are a quiet individuals who enjoys a lot about theorizing and never liked doing p.t. (summarized view of an INTP). To me as an INTP was that in order for me to operate. There has to be a reason for me to operate. So in order for me to stay motivated and fit, I took the time in reading a lot of books, including FM 6-22 so that I can understand the role of a leader.Which formed the building blocks of BE-KNOW-DO. That helped me with the ascension to becoming a SGT. So a lot of foundation and building blocks of being an NCO and also thanks to PLDC (now called WLC) I was able to understand more of being a in a leadership role. However, I was still stuck in the introvert mindset, I expel a large amount of energy being a functioning extrovert and that only brings me to conclude that you have to be an outgoing person, more on interpersonal skills to be better in the military. I have gone way past my discrepancies and I can communicate effectively through a medium, like Rally Point. Although, It's still hard for me to be concise I take a long time explaining and try to encourage soldiers to think outside the box, which is a big mistake that I learned and am now understanding the function of TLP's which also includes the 1/4's time management rule I learned in PLDC. As for applying these tools, my way of motivating soldiers is another story, which takes another hard toll on me to instill motivation. As a newly promoted sergeant, I had the opportunity to lead and direct soldiers to complete tasks and also be the active listener for them. The issue was that, it was difficult to instill motivation, nor did I have the fortitude to correct a soldier simply because I was still a new sergeant and worried about my relationship with that soldier. To me it was a hard task. So what would be an advice to an introvert who is or was a E-5?

Response by SFC James Baber made Jan 1 at 2014 9:19 PM

SFC James Baber — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 21:19:50 -0500

<p>Be yourself, if you try and convert to something that is not you, it will make it even more difficult and set yourself up for failure in the end. While being an introvert or an extrovert will make a definitive difference in your leadership styles, it should have no real affect on how you are able to take an order or task and put it into motion, it is you the individual that starts and ends the motion at hand.</p><p><br></p><p>Embrace it and utilize it for what is you and what makes you tick, it will always be more success than failure if you are truly doing what makes you the person you are, not the status quo that is expected, we are not robots but critical thinking NCOs that are capable of leading men and women into combat and bringing them back home alive.</p>

Response by LTC Yinon Weiss made Jan 1 at 2014 9:21 PM

LTC Yinon Weiss — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 21:21:23 -0500

This is a great post, and good on you for taking the Myers-Briggs and understanding INTP and what drives you. <div><br></div><div>You possess a great deal of self awareness, which combined with motivation, means you are far more likely to succeed in any environment, even if it's not a natural one for you. (I realize this sounds like a fortune cookie).</div><div><br></div><div>I think you answered your own question in your post. The key to being a good leader, especially as an introvert, is to know yourself. I've known many introverts in the military. You are definitely not alone. I find your post very motivating. Perhaps now as a veteran, you will find written communication as your new platform to lead and inspire?</div>

Response by COL Vincent Stoneking made Apr 21 at 2014 9:56 AM

COL Vincent Stoneking — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 09:56:21 -0400

As a fellow introvert (INTJ), I can only say "that's why we call it work...." <div><br></div><div>Realize that you are going to be in situations where your duty/responsibilities go against your natural inclinations. Make a plan and execute. Have the difficult conversations now & don't let situations fester. I recommend the book & training called "crucial conversations" for practical guidance in this area. </div><div><br></div><div>Realize that you aren't going to be the social butterfly type. Make sure you show up and look like you are having a good time during mandatory fun. Know when it's socially acceptable to slip out. Practice making small talk (there is an industry around teaching us introverts how to do that... The easiest trick is to ask an extrovert about themselves & then nod occasionally. :-) ). Get good at declining invitations that you don't want without appearing standoffish.  Accept a few & extend a few as well. Figure out your comfort zones.  Generally, you will find goal-directed activities to be more engaging than free-form.  So, maybe do the paintball part, and slip out when it becomes the head to the bar part. </div><div><br></div><div>Realize that you need time to yourself to reset. Block out that time and defend it.  Don't feel guilty about doing so. </div>

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jul 21 at 2014 2:47 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Mon, 21 Jul 2014 14:47:37 -0400

Kudos to you SSG Waldo Yamada for taking the initiative towards self improvement. I think we all could learn lesson from your courage. Apparently since this post you have ventured on to E-6 which says a lot about your character and drive. Congratulations1 While I was not technically an E-5 (as an SMP ROTC cadet I was paid as an E-5) I was an ROTC cadet with some self esteem issues and a fear of public speaking and no big fan of the APFT, traits not unlike you detail. I don't believe I took the Myers-Briggs, but I am pretty much an introvert who prefers alone, reflective time rather than time with others. I owe a lot to both the Army and my wife for getting me out of my shell so I could accomplish my goals as an Army leader. I hope you pass your story onto others in your travels because this is an inspiring story. Thank you much for sharing it here.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 21 at 2014 2:50 PM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Jul 2014 14:50:58 -0400

First, I'm an ENTJ and I crush galaxies between my eyebrows for fun and giggle at the doom and destruction it causes. Now...on to the question. From what I have seen and experienced there are TONS of different kinds of leaders if you break it down into personality quirks. Of the great ones, I have seen two recurring themes. One is a BIG-E extrovert and a charismatic, up front, take charge (even when they aren't in charge), loud, "follow me," type individual. They could lead a battalion of nuns to storm the gates of Hell and you'd actually think he could win just because he's that awesome. The second great leader I have seen is the quiet GENIUS. These leaders are obviously introverts, but they have spent their time absolutely soaking in every bit of information in their environment since they were born. Their brain, if harnessed properly, could cause a time-space disturbance that might wipe out the entire multiverse. While people don't understand why these people are in charge AT FIRST, it takes about a minute of talking to them or briefing to them when there is the sudden realization that this person could think you into a coma. They are experts in their field and they know it. They know the answers already and when they ask you about something, they are varifying their picture of reality. Well...that could be you. Being the great introvert however (unlike the charismatic leader), takes a LOT of work. It takes study and dedication. One of the most amazing officers I have ever worked with was one of the quietest people I have ever met. But...when he talked, people shut the hell up, because they knew he was about to spit platinum, including general officers. You don't have to be an extrovert to be highly successful in this career. It helps, but it ain't necessary.

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Jan 10 at 2016 5:12 PM

SFC Christopher Taggart — Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:12:16 -0500

Wow! where were you when I was in the military? I left the military in 2010 after serving 25 years, reaching the rank of Sergeant First Class, working towards the rank of Master Sergeant. I've always been an introvert, but was forced to be an extrovert in many situations. Being a leader was extremely painful for me, which has lead me to not seek out management positions in the civilian world, which I'm probably qualified for, but still doubt it. I knew of the Myers-Briggs test, but was never in the position to take it. Since leaving, being an introvert has gotten me into finishing an undergrad degree, one semester short of four years and currently on my way working on a Masters. Introverts have no probably studying alone and being at peace with themselves, so all hasn't been lost for me. Upon reviewing some of the comments, take heed of some advice, but don't force yourself to "put yourself out there" unless the need arises because it is extremely mentally exhausting which extroverts just don't understand. Extroverts think we don't like people, we do, just not a whole Battalion at once!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 10 at 2016 8:50 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:50:35 -0500

As others have stated, excellent question and post. I too have been an introvert (a severe one at one point) but, through enlisting and earning my stripes, I eventually broke through my shell in order to lead. I'm still an introvert but I'm able to speak up and out when necessary. The key is to build up your confidence specifically in your area of expertise. Since you are more than willing to read, then you are on the right track. One of the best things you can do is to literally practice certain things while at home, even in front of a mirror. It may sound kind of weird but by "rehearsing" you build up your own verbal skills. Even if you know D&C and PRT well, you can still take the time to break down different movements and exercises so you are even much more proficient as well as better able to lead in those activities. Sent you a friend request, if you ever need to chat. I'm always here.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2016 1:33 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 01:33:36 -0500

Although not an introvert, I had a lot of self-confidence issues that dogged me during ROTC and my early years as an officer. I may have posted this once before: At ROTC advanced camp (later called LDAC; I think is now called something else) I was not recommended to pass; I repeated it the following year and passed. (I am inspired by the story of Francis Curry, WWII Medal of Honor Recipient, who I read that he was not recommended to pass OCS becasuse of being too immature, He became an NCO and received the MOH.) It was in My motivation and tenacity drove me on, and continued experiences in the military as well as my experience in Toastmasters and as a teacher really helped. SSG Yamado, recommend joining Toastmasters. Many military bases have a club and if not there one nearby in the community. Very supportive, fun, a lot of humor as you learn to speak.