What advice do you have for service-members and fellow veterans who are struggling with alcoholism or who are new to sobriety?

ENS Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:39:24 -0400

Alcoholism - and alcohol in general, is a topic that, though we bring up as leaders, is shied away from. We hear it from out subordinates (and even our leaders) all the time. "Im going to get so drunk this weekend!" or "I can't wait to go home and get smashed!" We talk about responsible drinking all the time, but many of us do this because it's what "we're supposed to SAY". What are you DOING about it? For some of us, alcoholism is an issue that hits a lot closer to home. Perhaps it's a battle you have to live with. What advice do you have to active duty service member or your fellow veterans who are struggling with alcohol or who are new to sobriety?

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Oct 9 at 2017 4:48 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:48:55 -0400

Join a Celebrate Recovery program, they help a lot of people.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 9 at 2017 4:49 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:49:02 -0400

AA - hands down - most effective ever - the organization.
Good close friends, a loved one, or family can also help!

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Oct 9 at 2017 5:06 PM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 17:06:49 -0400

ENS Private RallyPoint Member There has to be a desire on your part to stop or get the help - it isn't easy and there consequences to drinking!

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Oct 9 at 2017 5:13 PM

SFC Christopher Taggart — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 17:13:04 -0400

Advice? I really have none, but I can tell you my story and tell you what I’ve figured out for myself. Most alcoholics DO NOT really want to hear it from other people about their drinking, because they see it as harassment. You shouldn’t drink because… Most alcoholics are not homeless bums in the streets, or even people who are in trouble all the time, late for formations, DUIs, fighting, etc. I was none of those, never had an Article 15 for anything, a hard worker at the office, loved to run, and did ok on my PT scores. A model soldier…NOT by a long shot! The comment I used hear, every so often from my Senior NCOs was, ‘Chaplain or Master Sergeant so-and-so never really trusted you’…I never knew why. I’ve always thought, I dotted all my “I’s” and “crossed all my “t’s.” There must have been something in my character that others saw, and I did not. I didn’t like that I had a poor memory, which I’ve always had, even before joining the military. “Black-outs” are not fun, a block of time that you do not remember. I think I was more of a “functioning” alcoholic, because I did everything right, as least I thought so. The thing I hated, I was gaining weight, meeting the tape test was getting tougher and tougher for me. I ETS’d in 2010, leaving Ft Hood, TX behind. About thirty days later I decided for myself, that I would QUIT everything, no beer, no wine, no…whatever. It was tough, but it was a habit I had to stop! Now, I can shop in the grocery store, and walk by the beer & wine section without even blinking an eye. I’m working on the weight issue, and I think I’m doing better, because my knees are hurting a lot less. I just take it, day by day…today, I won’t…

Response by SSG Donald Mceuen made Oct 9 at 2017 5:44 PM

SSG Donald Mceuen — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 17:44:58 -0400

try not to let it control your world. Don't let it put you in jail.
and if you fall off the wagon just get back up and start again.
Find a good reason to stay sober and stick by it.
all this is from experience we all slip but we have to restart and have faith in
something so find it.

Response by CDR Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 9 at 2017 6:59 PM

CDR Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 18:59:02 -0400

You can't go it alone. Get a support network of some kind. There are plenty out there, from AA to service member run groups and you would be surprised at how supportive your fellow service members can be if they know you need that support. If they are not then they are not people you should be hanging out with.

Response by SGT Jim Ramge, MBA made Oct 9 at 2017 7:31 PM

SGT Jim Ramge, MBA — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 19:31:46 -0400

Seek help before help is sought for you! There will always be support within your CoC!

Response by Maj Marty Hogan made Oct 9 at 2017 7:38 PM

Maj Marty Hogan — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 19:38:26 -0400

You have to change your life habits. Find new hobbies, change your friends, stay positive, and join a support group. AA is a great start. Last...faith. when you lost it is when you lost yourself.

Response by SSgt Robert Marx made Oct 9 at 2017 8:00 PM

SSgt Robert Marx — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 20:00:36 -0400

Alcohol is a real killer so the group culture of abuse should be countered by ways of having a good time with little or no alcohol. For those with an issue with alcohol, Alcohol Anonymous works well. Stress accountability and the best fun is found with little or no alcohol. As a leader, practice sobriety and limit your own intake.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Oct 9 at 2017 8:15 PM

SGT Philip Roncari — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 20:15:02 -0400

Struggling with alcoholism-Alcoholics Anonymous
New to sobriety-One day at a time
Saved my worthless life so many days ago I've lost count!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 9 at 2017 10:28 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:28:03 -0400

Why did you ask four similar questions in a row? What is your point or how can we help you?

Response by SMSgt Lawrence McCarter made Oct 10 at 2017 12:09 AM

SMSgt Lawrence McCarter — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 00:09:46 -0400

The first step to handle a problem with alcohol or drugs it admitting You have a problem then doing something about it. That step 1 may be one of the hardest parts but without it the problem most likely will not be turned around. Its a lot easier to start using or drinking than stop.

Response by SFC Dave Beran made Oct 10 at 2017 1:27 AM

SFC Dave Beran — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 01:27:09 -0400

For me personally, I just stopped. Cigarettes and alcohol. Very rarely do I drink now.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Oct 10 at 2017 5:25 AM

CSM Charles Hayden — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 05:25:49 -0400

1700 hours for the first! Uber after the second!

I am now a closet drinker; No 502s for me!!

Response by MAJ David Brand made Oct 10 at 2017 3:38 PM

MAJ David Brand — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 15:38:33 -0400

Thanks for sharing!

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Oct 11 at 2017 4:47 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Wed, 11 Oct 2017 16:47:46 -0400

When I enlisted in 1974 drinking was encouraged and that continued into the 1980s with dining ins and dining outs and other events where dinking was the order of the day ENS Private RallyPoint Member. In those days smoking cigarettes was also encouraged.
It was hard to quit drinking especially when it was encouraged. I had recognized I was alcoholic long ago.
In my own case, drinking and smoking where activities which went together. I tried to quit smoking a few times; but, finally quit in 1987. The issues fro me were being around friends who smoke and drank. When we had gotten together I fell into my old habits.
After I quit smoking, I finally was able to get with old friend s who smoked and drank without smoking.
That was my first step.
I stopped drinking completely about 1991. I has stopped drinking hard liquor before that.
I had recognized my need for salvation through the Christ in 1987. God helped to purge me of desires I could not eliminate by myself.
Thanks for mentioning me Maj Marty Hogan
FYI COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. Capt Seid Waddell Capt Tom Brown SFC William Farrell SSgt Robert Marx SPC Margaret Higgins MSgt Jason McClish AN Christopher Crayne LTC Bill Koski SPC Tom DeSmet SGT Charles H. Hawes LTC Wayne Brandon SGT Private RallyPoint Member SGT Michael Thorin SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth

Response by SP5 Robert Ruck made Oct 12 at 2017 11:07 AM

SP5 Robert Ruck — Thu, 12 Oct 2017 11:07:22 -0400

Certainly the military and my later life career in law enforcement were indusive to a culture of drinking and smoking. About a month after leaving the Army I woke up one morning coughing and hacking away and immediately reached for a pack of cigarettes. I looked at the pack and at the garbage can next to my bed I used to spit in and asked myself "What am I doing?". I quit smoking there and then. Drinking took a lot longer. When I retired from law enforcement, I also retired from drinking. My goal became to live long enough to reclaim all of my retirement contributions and drinking alcohol was not going to help achieve that goal. Also I was no longer living in the high stress, heavy drinking culture.

Response by SSG Donald Mceuen made Oct 14 at 2017 1:32 PM

SSG Donald Mceuen — Sat, 14 Oct 2017 13:32:28 -0400

find a hobby along with my other recommendations
I carve crosses

Response by CWO3 Randy Weston made Oct 20 at 2017 5:55 PM

CWO3 Randy Weston — Fri, 20 Oct 2017 17:55:55 -0400

Find an AA group talks about the solution. I say this as there are some out there that like to talk about the problem instead. What most people don't understand is that a real alcoholic does NOT have a choice as to drink or not to drink. They are obsessed with drinking beyond the ability to just "forget about it" and when they do put alcohol into their body they experience the phenomenon of craving, which manifests itself in not being able to control the amount they take and not able to stop once they start. Approximately 15% of the population is afflicted with this disease and as leaders, we need to educate yourself. Does so and so just drink too much or do they have a problem.

My story started after I had retired. I no longer had strict rules governing my conduct and thus reached the points previously stated. Bad things were happening faster than I could lower my standards. I ended up in the midst of a bunch guys that were willing to help me and guide me on my journey. That was a little over 10 years ago and I have met many like me that got sober when on active duty. If you are at sea and there is at least one other alcoholic, you can have meetings. Work the steps, read the book and your life will change, one day at a time.

Connect with me and I would be more than happy to help where I can.

Response by CW5 Robert Oliver made May 9 at 2019 3:15 AM

CW5 Robert Oliver — Thu, 09 May 2019 03:15:39 -0400

I was an alcoholic for most of my 30 yr career (63-93), and for 5 yrs after retirement. Never drank on duty period, but seldom went to bed sober. Hit rock bottom in 1998, completed 6 month in/out patient civilian treatment program, then straight to AA. Have been sober 21 yrs.
Would welcome questions from AD /Vets on alcoholism.

Response by SGT Eric Alli made May 10 at 2019 4:49 AM

SGT Eric Alli — Fri, 10 May 2019 04:49:17 -0400

I beat this with finding out "why" I drank like I did. Once I discovered this, it was easy for me to adjust myself and also to delete alcohol from my choices on dealing with that. Alcohol was just a short term solution that made it go away, but interesting enough always reared its head when I sobered up.