What advice do you have for someone deciding between getting out or staying in the military?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 05:46:53 -0500

I am going back and forth on the topic of getting out or staying in. I don't regret joining but I feel as though my life is on hold and I am not quite sure what to do. I am worried that if I get out, I may not be able to support my family, but also I can't keep feeling like every single day my life passes me by. Anyone that has gotten out, do you have any tips or anything? Any tips or help is appreciated. Thanks.

Response by MAJ Javier Rivera made Dec 25 at 2019 6:25 AM

MAJ Javier Rivera — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 06:25:19 -0500

I will assume this is your first enlistment, therefore the feeling.

What you are experiencing is nothing new and you are not the exception. Been in the service is a non-traditional way of life which requires sacrifices not done but only a few exceptional members of our society. So please don’t feel bad about it.

My advice is to sit down with your significant other and be honest on how you feel. Been in the military is a team effort when there is a family involved, make them part of your decision. Try to find the root of why you feel like your life is on hold, where do you see yourself in 10-15 years from now, and how to achieve it. See, now you have me thinking about Military Decision Making Process (MDMP)! All good!!!!!!!

Perhaps a different MOS. Many successful service members began their careers as combat arms an later reclassed into a technical or logistics field... you know, for when the have to take their uniform off for good!

My personal experiences: I ETAsd and couldn’t stand been outside. Went to school, got commissioned, and retired. It o didn’t have a family to support but only my wife, which made it easier for both work and school.

Recapitulating. Talk with your spouse, look at options and war game them. Be realistic about it. Talk with your leadership or another service member with a similar situation as you. Perhaps your career counselor to see what re-enlistment options are available and/or if your window is not open explore other MOS and their requirements. If the later, talk with those on the field and ask them.

Best of lucks on your future endeavors!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 6:26 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 06:26:39 -0500

Have a plan. If you don't have a plan, this may not be the best time to get out. Possibly save up some money and or change jobs to something you can do on the outside. There has never been better opportunities in industry but if you're not ready to miss a few paychecks you had better have a plan on how to avoid missing them.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Dec 25 at 2019 7:45 AM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 07:45:40 -0500

There are many people in your shoes, is this the career for me, if not how do I ensure the security of my Family during that transition. It sound as if you are fairly young I. The Army, if you are the investment of time is not too great. Bottom line is that many careers the decision is simple, I don’t like this job I will search for another. The military requires contracted commitments, when you break it is clean with little room for search. Also the military is not a career you can stay with if your heart is not in it. In fact if it is not you run the risk of not being all in and committed which will affect every facet of your career, including your Family. Leaders cannot be half there. Start now to get your resume out there don’t be acfraid to search a border band than your hometown. Take a decent job, any job so that you can support your family, then you are in a position to continue the search and elevate yourself one job at a time. Good luck and thank you for your service. Merry Christmas.

Response by LT Mike Jennings made Dec 25 at 2019 8:08 AM

LT Mike Jennings — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:08:44 -0500

I’m sorry to hear that you think that life is passing you by while you serve in the infantry because I’m not sure what you think is passing you by. Once they have time to get over the reason for getting out, most veterans feel like they’ve lost something special when they leave the service - the people, the mission, the identity, etc. Though your feelings are real and pretty accurate about your risks in getting out, it seems like your real problem isn’t deciding whether or not to re-enlist. It’s deciding how to look at your life, and that’s not something that will be solved by getting out or staying in. Until you have a clear picture of the next step in life, the key to job satisfaction is making the intentional effort to define what you like about your current job and focus on enjoying those parts. If you do that, you will start to find peace and contentment for your soul.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 8:15 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:15:02 -0500

So my first NCO gave me his in put when my first enlistment was coming to an end. He told me to give it one more short enlistment, change your mos or location, see if that give you the sign you are looking for. For me changing my MOS really changed my whole outlook on the Army. That's what I did but I'm not saying it works for everyone or should be the blanket answer. Good luck!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 8:34 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:34:36 -0500

My advice is don’t get out. Having a family to support with no real job/skills training is going to be rough outside of the big green. Most of the veterans I talk to who are younger and most older ones regret leaving the military. If you feel like life is passing you by then perhaps it’s time to change to a different MOS? Infantry is not an older soldier’s field. That is no disrespect to anyone who is older, but what I mean is a lot of joes join up and take 11B because we were all young once. Once the shine of it wears off and life happens and you start to get some personal life responsibilities you start to realize how incompatible it is to a lot of your personal goals. Before anyone jumps all over me I have the upmost respect for those in the uniform who put the metal where the meat is. I am just support to what you guys do. That being said it’s a young mans MOS and if you leave after 11B other than your GI bill what skills do you have to get a good paying job outside the military? I was talking to a recruit at MEPS when I was commissioning. He wanted to do 11B and I asked why. “Because I don’t know what I want to do and that’s where the action is!” I asked well what if you get hurt or don’t like the army and get out what’s your back up plan? He couldn’t answer it.

My advice is pick a different MOS. Get trained in a job skill you think sounds interesting. Save money. If you don’t like the army after a switch to something different and a different base, then at least you have a job skill to get a good job and paycheck when you leave or you can always switch over to the reserves or guard and stay in the big green.

I would just hate to see a young soldier walk away from the army and the best paying job they can have with no job training/education and then not be able to get back in if they decide it was the wrong decision.

Response by SSG Greg Smith made Dec 25 at 2019 8:41 AM

SSG Greg Smith — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:41:50 -0500

It depends on what you want to do after. If you don’t know what you want figure that out first. There may be a job you can reclassify in the army that you’d feel fulfilled in. Maybe not. If you get out, know the military has a lot of transition programs. So don’t just get out and try to figure it out afterwards. I got out with a solid plan. And I still hit a lot of big snags along the way. If I could go back I would have taken advantage of the programs that are out there to make transition to a civilian job easier. Basically have a plan and use everything you can to make it smooth. My two cents brother.

Response by SGT Robert Pryor made Dec 25 at 2019 8:52 AM

SGT Robert Pryor — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:52:15 -0500

It looks to me as though you just may have a problem with your life plan. Before joining the military, you should have at least had some idea of where your military service fit. Be it one term and out or a career. Too many young people feel they can make a life plan later, not worrying about retirement savings and such until later. That works if you don't mind dining on cat food when you go on Social Security, otherwise, you better already be saving for retirement. A big part of your retirement should include a fixed benefit retirement like you can get from the military, or heavily investing in a 401k or thrift savings plan. If you aren't there, get to work on your plan. Do a good enough job and you will know whether of not continued military service fits in your life plan.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 9:07 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 09:07:08 -0500

I thought I was going to get out back in '11. Had a plan, wife was on board. I took my ETS packet to S1 they printed off and handed me my orders. ETS orders in my hand, it didnt feel right and I threw them away and went to retention.
But if you feel like you are wasting your life then this isnt the job for you, and theres nothing wrong with that. Either choice will have hardships, you have to decide with your family which hardships you'd rather face. Good luck.

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Dec 25 at 2019 9:49 AM

SFC Christopher Taggart — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 09:49:33 -0500

Even if you do leave the military, because you feel "life is passing you by," where are you going to be in twenty years? Whether you reenlist or leave, twenty years will pass you by. I say stay in, while the kids are young and you have a good job. For me, I joined the military because I was unemployed at the time...twenty-five years later, guess where I was the first 90 days after leaving?

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 10:00 AM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 10:00:13 -0500

A lot of people I’ve talked to who got out before retirement regretted it and ended up trying to get back in. That being said, if you decide it’s time to hang it up have a plan. The Army solves a lot of problems that we take for granted that civilians face every day. Apply for jobs/school at least a year out. Make sure the spouse is on board.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 10:24 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 10:24:17 -0500

I think as long as you have a supportive family that you know will always be by your side, then why not stay in? You are doing it for them and their future as well. Having an early retirement check coming in along with the benefits is a real luxury. If they will support you and you are stressed that staying in may not make things any better, then consider leaving. Just ensure that if you decide to stay with the military, that you have enough discipline to stay fit and the mental agility to handle the hardships.

Response by Sgt Landon W. made Dec 25 at 2019 11:22 AM

Sgt Landon W. — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 11:22:32 -0500

The first month will be amazing, you’ll feel like your dreaming do whatever the fuck you want and know you don’t have to do shit if you don’t want too. The next month or two you’ll start your first civilian job. Life will be fucking awesome cause your gettin going with a civilian life that you’ve been wishing for. 3rd or 4th month the honeymoon phase of civilian begins to wear off. You’ll start gettin pissed at these fucking civilians you have to work with cause the way you deal with situations you can’t anymore. And when you do you find yourself in the hr office cause you can’t treat people like that or talk to them that way.

5th and 6th month your like fuck I wish I stayed in them the next morning you wake up and your like no I’m good. Life event will happen for the next year or two good bad it all depends on situations and choices.

From there it will go
Two ways. Either fucking awesome or fucking rough. Now I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there that shit went well but this is how it went down for me. I had a plan but last minute decided not to do it which fucked me.

When I got out everything the usmc told me not to do I did. Find a gf right off the bat, knock her up, stay at one job, move away from family the lost went on.

Later on got back in the reserves but reserve life just ain’t the same and there’s too much to type about it some good some like wtf is this. Just dropped out about 2 months ago.

Now I’m thinking about joining the army cause I started a sleeve and can’t in usmc but I wanted my tats plus it’s a bitch trying to go back active.

In short some people’s lives turn out amazing some you get beat over the head with a metal pole everyday for a few years straight and wish you would of stayed in. Then start looking at cross branching or te enlisting.

It will all depend on your situation, choices you make, what will in the end make you happy because you can work towards and get everything you want but if it doesn’t make you happy you’ll never stop searching and feel happy with it.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Dec 25 at 2019 12:04 PM

SPC Stewart Smith — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 12:04:10 -0500

You can always go back in. There is a reason they make you sign a contract.
I got out after 4 years, however I had saved up money. In addition to that I had a job lined up and was registered for school.
If you have spent all your money over the last 4 years, I recommend you take a few budgeting classes, reenlist, save money, then get out.
Budgeting is a lot more difficult in the civilian world. If you don't know how to save you're money now, you're gonna be pretty screwed when you get out if you ever lose your job or run into an unexpected expense like a leaky roof or your furnace motor goes bad.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 12:36 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 12:36:26 -0500

How many jobs are available with your current qualifications? Infantry transitions well into security and law enforcement. Do you love what you're doing? Is job security/family security more important than your own sense of well being? Ask yourself these types of questions, partner with spouse and make a plan. Even if it is to get more tools in your belt by attending college etc., and then getting out after another hitch, you have plenty of time. You've done your time, so don't feel like you owe any more. Much more than many more have done. Nothing wrong with a leap of faith, but make sure the creek's not dry before you jump. Having made it this far you have the right stuff, but it may get rough at times. You will make it work either way. Just remember your family is involved also. Good luck.

Response by LTC Ray B. (Ret) made Dec 25 at 2019 12:48 PM

LTC Ray B. (Ret) — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 12:48:03 -0500

Try looking into cross training into another MOS to see if that would shed a little light in your decision

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 1:22 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 13:22:16 -0500

Make sure you’re ready, I’d recommend staying in the Guard/reserves so going back is easy if civilian life isn’t what you thought. I got out for 2 years and i definitely wasn’t ready

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Dec 25 at 2019 2:22 PM

CPL Gary Pifer — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 14:22:54 -0500

Get out... but stay in the Reserves for your 20 years or to age 60... also apply for VA disability if needed. You can play 11B on weekends... use your GI bill. Just be thankful your not in a VA hospital or Cemetary...

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2019 2:59 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 14:59:31 -0500

SPC Private RallyPoint Member Do not leave the Army without a solid plan with goals., and make sure your wife is onboard with your plan If you get out what career field are you interested in? Do you have the education and skills needed in that career field? I left the Marine Corps in 1972 after four years. I was not happy with the drug problem and I did not feel like the Marine Corps was doing enough to clean it up. I also was interested in the Space Program. When I was discharged, I moved to the Houston area, found a good paying job at a chemical plant, and started school. Five and a half years later, I had my degree, and began a 33 year career on the Space Shuttle Program. My plan was a good one, although I did not have a family to consider. Good luck.

After I left, the Marine Corps did get serious about the drug problem.

Response by MSG Jacqueline Case made Dec 25 at 2019 4:37 PM

MSG Jacqueline Case — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 16:37:18 -0500

SPC Larkin I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from, but, I’m a big advocate for the pros/cons list...get out that pen and paper and put it down in black and white. Once you see the evidence for staying or getting out you can then decide. That’s what I would do anyway. Good luck

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Dec 25 at 2019 5:37 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 17:37:16 -0500

Your profile is very incomplete, so it's difficult for me to offer much specific advice. I don't think life is passing you by. You have an important job serving your country and you have a family to look after. If your life goals include continued employment and supporting your family, then the Army is a good deal. Start now to take full advantage of the training and education the Army makes available. Make yourself more valuable to your current employer, the Army, and you'll move up in rank. As time allows work on an associate degree and then a bachelors degree. Make the Army your life and you won't miss anything at all.

Response by SSG Brian G. made Dec 25 at 2019 10:16 PM

SSG Brian G. — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 22:16:23 -0500

First let's do a little unpacking because thinking and analyzing costs nothing.

Why do you think that your life is on hold due to the military? What is it that you feel is on hold and please, be specific. The reason I ask is that a lot of times troops think that and then come to find out they overlooked something and end up regretting the decision to get out.

Before you do anything, take a deep, deep look at what you want or think you want and why.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2019 1:29 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 01:29:51 -0500

Your concerns are probably the most common among those wanting to get out. My wife and I do a pro/con list and go down one by one. The end of the day I decided that it was something I wanted to continue doing, not because I needed a way to support my family, but because I truly wanted to keep serving and do my job and now I'm seven years from retirement.

Make a pros and cons list with your wife. Do you have a degree? If you do, that'll certainly help. What is great now too is the fact that they have the whole prospect thing going on where you can train at a company prior to getting out, while still getting paid, so job wise if you look at that and take that opportunity, you will do just fine.

Response by SSG James Feagins made Dec 26 at 2019 9:13 AM

SSG James Feagins — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 09:13:55 -0500

I got in April of '72. I went back in June of '76 and finished my 20.
During my four years as a civilian I always had a job. The longest I stayed at any one job was three months. I missed the unit cohesiveness; the camaraderie; and just having people around me who understood what I was going through, because they were going through the same things mostly. I also got to see places I would never had gotten to see.
If I recieved a call telling me I have three days to get packed and ready to report for duty, my response would be, "What should I do with the two extra days?"

Response by LTC Ken Bowers made Dec 26 at 2019 10:02 AM

LTC Ken Bowers — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 10:02:34 -0500

I got off active duty because of a relationship situation. I made a sacrifice so that she cold get the assignment she needed. Any way the relationship did not workout as planned, but I had a plan for continuing my service in the National guard. I do not have any regrets, because I achieved most of the things I wanted to do in the service. However, I often ponder where would I be if I had stayed on active duty? So after a long career in the ARNG and AGR/Tech. program I learned a few things and made some observations. If you feel like your life is passing you by then look in the mirror and ask yourself What can I do to improve my situation? Also, ask yourself why did you join the Army in the first place? Also, Don't feel sorry for yourself! If you're having trouble getting promoted work on getting yourself to WLC. Volunteer for details or training opportunities. Do something to challenge yourself establish an objective to work towards! Those are things that open doors for you! Also, to consider; does your wife support you staying in the service? Having a supportive wife in the service or as a civilian is very important! Infantry is supposed to be the MOS the Army wants to fill, and I believe the bonuses are good as well. It is hard on the outside! Even though the economy is good now it takes a little time to get the kind of job you need to support a wife and child even if she has a job. If you're at 120 -90 days from your ETS it is too late to consider the civilian world you don't have a plan, or have not made provisions for getting out. So get your shit together, challenge yourself and re-enlist. The positive change you seek starts with you!

Response by PO1 Rick Serviss made Dec 26 at 2019 6:16 PM

PO1 Rick Serviss — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 18:16:57 -0500

I used a simple rule. If you have 10 or more years in, you're half way home. That was my deciding factor. If I did 10 years I can do another 10 and retire.