What are some entertaining safety briefings you have had?

TSgt David Holman — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 13:51:10 -0400

I have a safety briefing tomorrow during a flight meeting that we are looking to make "fun"... but professional. I could use some help with one liner type things said at safety briefings (i.e. "If you're gonna tap it, wrap it...") gimme what you got!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 2:01 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:01:14 -0400

Ask the formation "In the event of fire, what steps would you take?" After hearing their replies tell them "Nope, you would take 'big steps'." While I find this funny I'm sure most people would not get it. But, I'm a nerd that way.

Response by SGT David T. made Jun 29 at 2016 2:02 PM

SGT David T. — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:02:09 -0400

"Don't die and don't do anything stupid". Best safety briefing ever.

Response by Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 2:03 PM

Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:03:10 -0400

LOL!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 2:13 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:13:05 -0400

This one i use to remind my plt not to ruin the reputation they built for us, have to be careful about whose around though because is is not pc. Im sure some people here will freak out as well, but it makes not reference about sexuality. "You can build a thousand bridges and not be called a bridge builder, but you suck one dick and you're a cocktail sucker for life."

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 2:17 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:17:51 -0400

TSgt David Holman I played the Embrace Life seat belt message at one of my safety briefings, years ago. It is a powerful message. Try to keep the meetings lively. Ask each participant to relate one mishap they had, that could have been prevented by XXXXX. You could send everyone an email beforehand, asking them to think about this and to be ready to participate in the discussion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnXH_P9SVAk

CNN: 'Embrace Life' goes viral

A PSA about seat belts turns into a worldwide phenomenon. CNN's Josh Levs reports.

Response by SGT Edward Wilcox made Jun 29 at 2016 2:18 PM

SGT Edward Wilcox — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:18:29 -0400

I had a 1SGT in AIT at Ft Sam Houston who would tell us exactly where to go on post to buy weed. He had a friend in CID that would tell him where the undercover agents would be each weekend. Not sure anyone actually bought it, though(the story, not the weed).

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 2:20 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:20:44 -0400

"Dont drink and drive. Wrap your tool. No fights. See you Monday. DISMISSED!!"

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made Jun 29 at 2016 2:27 PM

SSG Carlos Madden — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:27:53 -0400

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dex_HxHmcSo

Old school infantry safety briefing.

Response by SFC Josh Billingsley made Jun 29 at 2016 2:34 PM

SFC Josh Billingsley — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:34:08 -0400

"Don't drink and stupid. Don't kick your dogs, your kids or your wife. Whatever happens this weekend, you better not be falling out of my run come Monday..."

Response by SSgt Ryan Sylvester made Jun 29 at 2016 3:43 PM

SSgt Ryan Sylvester — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 15:43:33 -0400

Obviously not something said while I was in 6+ years ago, but might be relevant today. "'Feel the Bern' is just a political slogan, kids. You don't want to be living it. So use protection... daytime and nighttime variety."

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 3:51 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 15:51:05 -0400

Wasn't a safety brief but when we'd come back from overseas in the 80's, the Old Man, 1SG, PL or a PSG would often caution ... "You married guys and those with girls you haven't seen in ## weeks/months. The pay phones are over there (points to the phones). Remember, a dime* could save your marriage or relationship."

*It would get updated to 15 cents and later to a quarter.

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 4:04 PM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 16:04:59 -0400

If you drink, don't drive. If you drive, don't drink. If you do, don't spill any.

Response by SMSgt Thor Merich made Jun 29 at 2016 4:17 PM

SMSgt Thor Merich — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 16:17:28 -0400

The best safety briefing I ever received was back in the 1980's and would be so inappropriate nowadays. Actually, it was probably inappropriate back then too.
It in involved a "training video" where an individual hammered a nail into his wanker. Not something you ever want to do. But we were all so grossed out that everyone was extra careful that day.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 5:08 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 17:08:07 -0400

If your going to have sex this weekend, make sure you have both Kevlar and PT Belt on!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 9:13 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 21:13:08 -0400

Best briefing ever, how to identify and avoid "whore houses" in seoul korea!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 9:16 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 21:16:44 -0400

This was every Safety Brief before pass
Company Gunny - Alright boys, if we drink we what?
Company - get fucked up! Beer before liquor! Don't pass out first!
CG - Drink in moderation, and if we are going to have sex we do what?
C - Anal!
CG - Practice Safe sex!

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 29 at 2016 9:59 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 21:59:18 -0400

Don't be stupid and don't hangout with stupid people.

Focus your safety brief on the 18-24 crowd. That's the demographic most likely to die or injure themselves from doing stupid things.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Jun 30 at 2016 5:24 PM

SGT Dave Tracy — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 17:24:51 -0400

Two memorable items relating to safety briefs:
1. It was standard to remind all soldiers at Ft. Bliss not to go to Ciudad Juarez during the Friday/holiday/leave safety briefs. I had a 1SG who habitually reminded us that should we find ourselves in a car bound for the border, that we were to "tuck and roll" when we jumped from said--presumably moving--car.
2. I had another 1SG who made a certain Private do the weekly safety briefs on his behalf while doing his spot-on imitation of Christopher Walken.

Response by SFC Everett Oliver made Jun 30 at 2016 7:50 PM

SFC Everett Oliver — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 19:50:02 -0400

I always liked my 4 A's speech I gave before every weekend. Any one of the 4 A's can get you in trouble, and any combination will get you in trouble.
Alcohol
Automobile
Anatomy
Aids

Response by TSgt David Holman made Jun 30 at 2016 7:55 PM

TSgt David Holman — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 19:55:11 -0400

I think the best part about this thread right now is that at time of writing this 2.6K members have viewed and gotten some safety reminders... thank you all for the input.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2016 1:24 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 13:24:22 -0400

At our NTC rotation, a soldier used his gerber to open an MRE, and then forgot it was open and sat on it. From then on, we always got safety briefs about closing our knives so we don't end up with stitches on our rear.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2016 2:18 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 14:18:09 -0400

While at FT. Knox:

"If you have sex this weekend, wear a rubber. If she's from Kentucky, wear two."

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2016 2:21 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 14:21:40 -0400

"No one walls away from a boating accident, gentlemen."

Response by SGT Alicia Brenneis made Jul 1 at 2016 3:09 PM

SGT Alicia Brenneis — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:09:35 -0400

Drinking, driving, drugs and sex... no combination is acceptable. Go home.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2016 4:48 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 16:48:47 -0400

If you would not do it or say it to your grandmother don't do it or say it to your battle buddy

Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2016 10:13 AM

LTJG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 02 Jul 2016 10:13:50 -0400

I used to close out my drill weekends with: "Don't rape anybody and don't kill yourself. If you're thinking of doing either, call me"

Response by PO3 Sherry Thornburg made Jul 2 at 2016 6:01 PM

PO3 Sherry Thornburg — Sat, 02 Jul 2016 18:01:03 -0400

Safe sex discussion with a pregnant lecturer.

Response by SSG Jason Penn made Jul 2 at 2016 11:15 PM

SSG Jason Penn — Sat, 02 Jul 2016 23:15:21 -0400

One we use all the time was "Don't drive and swim, and if you go drinking, take a buddy!"

Response by Sgt Susan Klekot made Jul 26 at 2016 7:50 AM

Sgt Susan Klekot — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 07:50:41 -0400

I think the funniest thing I've ever witnessed (and I got a front row seat because I had to run the PPT) was when our then Co GySgt had to give a PME on STDs in mixed company. He was NOT comfortable at all, especially since the PPT included some pretty graphic images.

Response by LTC Matthew Robinson made Jul 26 at 2016 8:17 AM

LTC Matthew Robinson — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 08:17:06 -0400

Years, too many to share, ago I had a 1SG who ended every weekend safety briefing with this memorable line, "Remember, have fun out there, but not too much. But if you do, don't name it after me." He always got a laugh with that line.

Response by CDR Matthew McLaughlin made Jul 26 at 2016 9:06 AM

CDR Matthew McLaughlin — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 09:06:34 -0400

Sorry I missed this originally, but...
Mid 80's from an Independent Duty Corpsman (Nam FMF vet) before the sub crew went on shore leave:
"You can see me before you go ashore..." (holds up a condom)
"or you can see me after you get back." (holds up a 50 cc syringe with a large gauge needle).

Response by Cpl Raymond Hottinger made Jul 26 at 2016 10:11 AM

Cpl Raymond Hottinger — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:11:32 -0400

A Gunny informed us, when i was in Okinawa, not to bring up the silver containers if we were diving off the beach at Torii station. He proceeded to tell us that they were canisters of white phosphorus and if we did they might burst and clear the beach PDQ. As it did when he was a young lance. Apparently they had been down there since some time during the Vietnam war. This was back in '94-'95.

Response by SSgt August Helmke made Jul 26 at 2016 10:21 AM

SSgt August Helmke — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 10:21:05 -0400

On goggles....."If you can't see the need for goggles, you probably won't be seeing anything before too long."....My Dad was a Safety Engineer who taught First Aid at a large refinery...I remember him using this line.

Response by A1C Lisa Casserly made Jul 26 at 2016 11:15 AM

A1C Lisa Casserly — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:15:05 -0400

Not sure its really "entertaining", unless you count the sheer horror factor... And, it happened to my husband, not myself. He came home one day and told me about the standard weekend safety brief, and how the speaker was telling people about a recent suicide, where friends and co-workers had been kind of "screwing with" someone. He'd asked some vague question about what people thought was a good idea for suicide. And, thinking this was just a "for instance" conversation, people threw out crazy stuff like drape sheets over everything in the basement or garage, spread out a huge sheet, put a chair in the middle, then shoot yourself, so that it contained much of the mess in one place. And, how everyone was shocked when the guy, who seemed solid, grounded, secure, actually DID that. And, one woman raised her hand, and told everyone how that guy was her husband... And, ouch. The entire room was shocked into dead silence and horror.

Response by SPC Tommy Dean made Jul 26 at 2016 11:16 AM

SPC Tommy Dean — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:16:49 -0400

In the event of an emergency, please stay calm. And if you see me running, you should try to keep up.

Response by Lt Col Robert Canfield made Jul 26 at 2016 11:18 AM

Lt Col Robert Canfield — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:18:00 -0400

The holiday season can be a hazardous time. Many military members (and their families) engage in non-routine activities such as long distance travel, parties where adult beverages are served, climbing on ladders and rooftops to hang decorations etc. etc. One year I asked our visual information flight to put together a series of funny pratfalls, stupid accidents, and other dangerous situations using short clips from various movies and comedies. Just about all of the video clips fell under the category: "Don't feel so useless, you can always be used as a bad example". We set the video collage to music and it was very entertaining. It got the message across, and was well received. The short video lasted only about 5-10 minutes.

There are all kinds of video clips available in the public domain. With a little bit of creativity, a tech savvy troop should be able to put together an attention getting video that makes an impression and reminds the troops to "BE SAFE".

NOTE: if you are concerned about copyright infringement, the "Fair Use Doctrine" allows for limited use of copyrighted materials as long as its use IS limited and NOT for commercial purposes. In addition, using such a work for non-profit, educational purposes is also a key factor under the Fair Use Doctrine. Don't attempt to make ANY financial gain from the video collage you have just developed and don't post it on You-tube or other social media. Google "Fair Use Doctrine" for more information.

Response by CDR Frank Aker made Jul 26 at 2016 11:58 AM

CDR Frank Aker — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:58:32 -0400

I was usually chosen to give a brief - even briefed President Reagan. I don't recall any entertaining briefs that I sat in on, too much important info to take in during these tense years !

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Jul 26 at 2016 2:22 PM

PO1 Donald Hammond — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:22:12 -0400

As a civilian I was a Safety Supervisor for a power plant. During a corporate meeting we had "Dr. Death" give an electrical safety demonstration. WARNING! If you don't know what you are doing, don't do this. He had a fish tank set up full of water on a PLASTIC table on RUBBER matting. He plugged in a blow dryer and threw it in. It made an awesome water pump. Then he put a GFCI inline and when the hair dryer hit the water it tripped. But THEN he put an extension cord in the water with the end cut off so the hot was at one end the common at the other. And put his hand in the water. Having been an electrician in the Navy I knew he should be fine. But then he asked for volunteers to put their hands in too. Yeh. Not so much. I did.

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Jul 26 at 2016 2:23 PM

PO1 Donald Hammond — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:23:42 -0400

Oh. You asked for one-liners. Okay. During training on a piece of heavy equipment, the instructor said "Every warning label is there because somebody died". Not funny. But true.

Response by LTC Sonya Friday made Jul 26 at 2016 3:07 PM

LTC Sonya Friday — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 15:07:51 -0400

I used old videos from Americas Funniest Home videos to make various safety points as well as and clips from the comedian Gabriel Iglesias. Of course this is if you are in a class room environment

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 26 at 2016 4:09 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 16:09:50 -0400

Just had one about two weeks ago, and I kid you not, this was how it went:

"Don't beat your dog.
Don't beat your kids.
If you beat your wife, make sure the 1SG doesn't hear about it (I'm joking, don't do it)
Don't drink and drive, but if you do drink and drive, I don't wanna f*cking know about it.
If it smells funny, don't eat it.
If it's green, don't stick your d*ck in it.
And for the love of God, you little sh*t-bricks, if you call me this weekend, and I have to get out of bed and leave my wife at home to come and get you, I'm whipping your ass until I am satisfied that my lost orgasm was compensated."

Not PC by any means, but a bunch of Infantry guys being told not to stick our dicks in green things kinda made us lose it.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 26 at 2016 4:26 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 16:26:25 -0400

Also had one back at Fort Carson from my Battalion CSM.

"Remember ladies*
"If you're gonna go out and get trashed this weekend, and you end up shacking up with some girl who you call Sally, only because you're too drunk to remember her name;
"Safety first.
So all of you mother*ckers better be wearing your damn PT belt!"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 26 at 2016 5:26 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 17:26:20 -0400

Don't drink and drive, don't kill any prostitutes and most importantly......don't run into your wife.

Response by CPT Earl George made Jul 26 at 2016 9:37 PM

CPT Earl George — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 21:37:14 -0400

1973: Battalion motor pool at Graf(FRG). The Battalion Commander got the officers together to inform us that the new vehicle camouflage patters had arrived and he had made his decision on which company would paint which model vehicle. However, the paint for the new patterns had not arrived yet so in the interest of safety only use "CLEAN " mud when camouflaging until the paint arrived.

Response by CPT Earl George made Jul 26 at 2016 9:45 PM

CPT Earl George — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 21:45:41 -0400

Motor Officer Course at Ft Knox in early 1975. The OIC was introducing the 5 (all retired Army motor sergeants) instructors for the course. In his final comments he mentioned safety and watching where we put our hands so the we did not lose a finger. All 5 instructors raised a hand with a missing finger.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 26 at 2016 11:29 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 23:29:33 -0400

Drinking, Driving & Sex...... Don't mix any two of the three!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 27 at 2016 4:05 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 04:05:15 -0400

https://youtu.be/fGoWLWS4-kU

Tea Consent (Clean)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 27 at 2016 6:16 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 06:16:04 -0400

Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid.
Learn from the mistakes of others. It is far too costly to learn from your own.
Nothing good happens after midnight. The @$$hole to good person ration is upside down between midnight and 0500.

Response by SSG Daniel Brewster made Jul 27 at 2016 12:08 PM

SSG Daniel Brewster — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 12:08:29 -0400

well... times, they have changed. no way, no how would i say any of the stuff in this thread. although, to be fair, i've heard some pretty funny stories. always good to remember if you have ask somebody for some funny stories, you probably aren't funny and won't be able to deliver those funny stories that make people laugh. food for thought. and some of 'em aren't funny. if it were me, i'd lead with whatever is top of mind with the command and then finish with "don't do stupid stuff". :)

Response by MCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 27 at 2016 7:23 PM

MCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 19:23:09 -0400

We were making an unscheduled stop in Sicily. The Command Senior Chief says, "They have different toilets over there, boys and girls. If you poop something bigger than your head, break it up with a stick before you try to flush."

There was silence for about a count of three, then the whole crew fell out.

Response by COL Michael Freville made Jul 27 at 2016 7:44 PM

COL Michael Freville — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 19:44:49 -0400

I had an Army chaplain stand in front of the troops and tell a long tail about a hotdog in the bun. It was his sex ed talk. The whole company was almost on the ground laughing.

Response by MSgt Alex Taylor made Jul 28 at 2016 3:17 PM

MSgt Alex Taylor — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 15:17:37 -0400

One of my First Sergeant's believed "If they don't find a body, it's a missing person case". That said, his Friday anti-DUI speech was, "If you get caught drunk driving, remember, there's less paperwork for you going AWOL than a DUI. That said, I have an old carpet I'm willing to part with and I can drop you off in the Missouri River before dawn."

Response by SSgt Frank Perron made Jul 31 at 2016 8:46 PM

SSgt Frank Perron — Sun, 31 Jul 2016 20:46:29 -0400

As a young Marine we used to get a safety brief every Friday. Our Co Gy always said come back with 10 toes and 10 fingers. We all thought this was funny. One weekend one of our Marines came back with 9 1/2 fingers. He lost half his finger in a boating accident. After that we didn't think it was so funny when Gy said that.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2019 2:29 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Jan 2019 14:29:36 -0500

If your night starts with "hold my beer....", stop what you are doing, and reasses your situation.
Another popular one with past PSGs was incorporating something stupid someone in the platoon did to the usual safety briefing

Response by SGT Bobby Floyd made Jan 7 at 2019 4:04 PM

SGT Bobby Floyd — Mon, 07 Jan 2019 16:04:16 -0500

Don’t do dumb shit

Response by PO2 Loren Gilmore made Jan 7 at 2019 7:02 PM

PO2 Loren Gilmore — Mon, 07 Jan 2019 19:02:51 -0500

Myself and a Dental Tech had to give a safety brief every week to OS students at Damn Neck. Use to tell them that Virginia Beach has the highest level of VD on the east coast. Weekends the dispensary is open for Emergencies Only. You got a burning pecker you better wait till Monday morning sick call to get it taken care of. Never failed though, would always have some 18 year old student come to me after hours for drippy dick. I was not pleased. =).

Response by MSG Alison Klein made Jan 7 at 2019 8:36 PM

MSG Alison Klein — Mon, 07 Jan 2019 20:36:46 -0500

Mine was don't do anything that requires you to use your one phone call to call me.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2019 8:34 AM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 08:34:45 -0500

Drinking, driving and sex. Don't do any two at the same time but if you can do all three get a picture.

Response by SSG Edward Joy made Jan 8 at 2019 7:32 PM

SSG Edward Joy — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 19:32:39 -0500

As First Sargent Frank Kane used to say, Now you STUDS are going into town for the weekend, and I don't want ANY OF YOU COMING BACK WITH THE DRIPPY DOOR KNOBS.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2019 9:35 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 21:35:13 -0500

I've had several good weekend safety briefs. Including if you are the one on CQ, don't call the commander and first sergeant until its after 0700. They were warning that they might be drunk for a change. That was a weekend 3 people got to stay in the Oklahoma county jail for 18 hours before someone went to go get them. It now works when the demographic is 18-24 in my new unit.

Response by LCpl Darrell J. Farley Jr. made Jan 9 at 2019 7:53 AM

LCpl Darrell J. Farley Jr. — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 07:53:28 -0500

Our liberty safety reminder was usually, “ Gentlemen, wrap it, wiz it, wash it!” If she looks like you sister call your buddy, if it looks like your mom, call me. If it looks like your grandmother, call an ambulance you have alcohol poisoning!!!”
On a non military safety brief, The-reason there arekill handles on push mowers ( Craftsman was the first. I worked for Sears years ago) two neighbors wanted to trim the hedge between their yards. Einstein and Sir Issac Newton put Einstein’s Craftsman 5 hp on two 2x4’s and lifted them over their heads evenly trimming the hedge. Then Sir Issac fell victim to weaker arms and gravity! Now you know why you have to hold that lever down to cut your lawn!!!

Response by MSG Michael McEleney made Jan 9 at 2019 12:49 PM

MSG Michael McEleney — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 12:49:34 -0500

The one safety briefing I will remember for life was at HQ Bn. Quantico. Long Thanksgiving weekend and the Col decided that everyone should see a Navy Medical Training film on how a body is embalmed and prepared for burial. Everybody drove safely that weekend.

Response by GySgt Mike Wils made Jan 9 at 2019 1:45 PM

GySgt Mike Wils — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 13:45:47 -0500

Had a platoon seargant tell us before a 96 weekend to not drink and park, accidents cause babies.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 9 at 2019 1:49 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 13:49:33 -0500

“Keep your Ranger out of danger, don’t Special Force it. And never park your car in someone else’s garage. “

Response by Daniel McEleney made Jan 9 at 2019 2:18 PM

Daniel McEleney — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 14:18:55 -0500

Years ago (grammar school) there is no such thing as a Fire drill, If the alarm rings treat it as a real fire.

Response by 1LT William Davenport made Jan 9 at 2019 6:58 PM

1LT William Davenport — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 18:58:30 -0500

At Fort Knox Kentucky (88) our Senior Drill Sergeant told our Platoon, before a weekend pass. “ You black boys stay the hell away from Shepherdsville“. “I don’t care if you’re in a car and there going a 100 miles an hour, open the door and jump out, you got a better chance of living”. “Those kkk boys will f you up”.

Response by SPC Terry Hill made Jan 9 at 2019 7:03 PM

SPC Terry Hill — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 19:03:56 -0500

"If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish, eat all you wish." Thanks, Sgt. Milligan, for tgat pearl.

Response by SPC Pat Scalzitti made Jan 10 at 2019 12:29 AM

SPC Pat Scalzitti — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 00:29:19 -0500

Weekend safety brief at Ft Lewis before a 4 day weekend. My plt sgt was giving a safety brief to my plt after the company 1SG and CO gave one to the company.
Ok boys same shit as last week then looks at one guy in the plt and said
"Hey spc___ lets try and keep the girl you get with this weekend under 200lbs ok"
Spc__ " oh but Sgt its my birth day"
Plt sgt "ok make it 300"

Response by SFC Ben Lucas made Jan 10 at 2019 3:27 AM

SFC Ben Lucas — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 03:27:28 -0500

A dog eat dog world...wear Kevlar underwear

Response by SrA Jeremy Pryor made Jan 10 at 2019 2:56 PM

SrA Jeremy Pryor — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 14:56:52 -0500

Don't drink and drive, don't drive and drink, wrap it before you tap it. Have a good weekend

Response by SPC Christopher McMahon made Jan 10 at 2019 4:21 PM

SPC Christopher McMahon — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 16:21:56 -0500

Bamberg, Germany. 2nd Bn 14th FA.
1SG Bachman: “No glove, no love” gentlemen. Dismissed.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 10 at 2019 8:10 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 20:10:24 -0500

Fort Bragg, NC, 2018; “Don’t go to jail, if you do, establish dominance quickly.” -My Commander

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 10 at 2019 10:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 22:13:27 -0500

If it's not yours...dont do it, if it is yours....be nice to it.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2019 1:56 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 01:56:15 -0500

If going to war in the cave put a safety on your shooter and put an ach on your trooper

Response by SPC Steve Jacobs made Jan 11 at 2019 2:13 AM

SPC Steve Jacobs — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 02:13:28 -0500

The 5 D's
Dont drink and drive.
Dont do drugs
Dont do dogs
Dont do dudes
Dont do dudes wives.
If u fuck up ima ima fuck u up
Have a good weekend

Response by CPL Scott Burke made Jan 11 at 2019 2:50 AM

CPL Scott Burke — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 02:50:52 -0500

Don't fry bacon naked... And, if you're going to go into the wood line this weekend, be sure that you are in full battle rattle.

Response by SGT Randall Smith made Jan 11 at 2019 5:31 AM

SGT Randall Smith — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 05:31:41 -0500

1st Sgt had me get some of my squad together for a Chaplains talk. Had about 50 guys from different companies there. Chaplain got really ticked off, those not asleep were laughing and talking. He was talking about the dangers of smoking and drinking, we had been under a rocket attack 3 nights before. In 1968 we had more to worry about than smoking.

Response by CPO Michael Lake made Jan 11 at 2019 10:36 AM

CPO Michael Lake — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 10:36:02 -0500

In Jamaica: "when you hit town, if you take the first right, go three blocks and then left for two blocks, that's the "ganja" district. DON'T GO THERE!

Brilliance of it is, if you were caught there you couldn't claim it was "by accident". Cuz you knew where it was.

Response by SrA Rusty Nobles made Jan 11 at 2019 1:02 PM

SrA Rusty Nobles — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 13:02:16 -0500

Don’t drink and drive, don’t get arrested, and don’t add to or subtract from the local population.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2019 1:41 PM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 13:41:21 -0500

Dont be a dummy pullout and cum on her tummy

Response by SPC Sadie Mattox made Jan 11 at 2019 2:17 PM

SPC Sadie Mattox — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 14:17:53 -0500

Do not add to or subtract from the population.

Response by SSG John Lambert made Jan 11 at 2019 10:22 PM

SSG John Lambert — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 22:22:01 -0500

Had a Lt. In the late 1990’s give a demonstration of how to put on a condom using a banana and a condom. Awesome.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2019 1:20 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 13:20:20 -0500

I'd you are going to drink this weekend do not subtract or add to the population.

Response by SPC Josh Pittsenbarger made Jan 12 at 2019 2:05 PM

SPC Josh Pittsenbarger — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 14:05:56 -0500

My pit bull chewed up a commo guys German Sheppard and all shit hit the fan cause his wife wanted my dog dead. Went up the COC and at Friday Safety Brief the CO says "Don't kick your wife and don't beat your dog"

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2019 3:21 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 15:21:56 -0500

One of my old First Seargants use to always say "don't have sex with power tools" at the end of every saftey brief

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2019 4:23 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 16:23:03 -0500

Best one I ever heard. Chlamydia is not a flower.

Response by Sgt Matt Gladden made Jan 12 at 2019 5:06 PM

Sgt Matt Gladden — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 17:06:06 -0500

Motorcycling, water skiing , its dangerous out there . Also remember the Clap is Bad , Syph is Worse ... So Just Beat Your Meat Cause Safety is First

Response by PO1 Daniel Brock made Jan 12 at 2019 6:36 PM

PO1 Daniel Brock — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 18:36:17 -0500

Gunners Mate Master Chief, USS Iowa, would constantly remind us that all safety procedures are written in blood.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2019 1:48 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 01:48:41 -0500

Don't punch your dog, don't kick your cat, don't choke your chicken.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2019 8:39 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 20:39:51 -0500

Drinking, Sex and Driving don't do two at the same time

Response by MSgt Thelbert (Whitey) Roark made Mar 18 at 2019 3:57 AM

MSgt Thelbert (Whitey) Roark — Mon, 18 Mar 2019 03:57:07 -0400

At a weekly safety briefing on Vandenberg AFB The Safety NCO stepped to the front of the room and stated “Never Punch A Black Bear”. A very short briefing, but it has stuck with me for almost 40 years.