What are some stupid things you had fresh Privates do for humor?

2016-02-29T18:16:15-05:00

"Hey PVT, go ask 1SG if he was issued any BA11's"
"Hey PVT, can you get me a metric crescent wrench?"

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Feb 29 at 2016 6:17 PM

2016-02-29T18:17:14-05:00

Check the tank for soft spots with a ball-peen hammer and chalk....main gun boom test....tank exhaust sample, etc.

Response by SGM Mike Barbieri made Feb 29 at 2016 6:20 PM

2016-02-29T18:20:30-05:00

Sending them to get the keys to the drop zone was always entertaining.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:22 PM

2016-02-29T18:22:03-05:00

Go retrieve a spool of flight line

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:22 PM

2016-02-29T18:22:40-05:00

Jump up and down on the M113 to check the shocks

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:23 PM

2016-02-29T18:23:48-05:00

Spin the turret counterclockwise on the M113 52 times to unlock it so we can pull it out for maintenance. If you go 53 times it resets. MAKE SURE YOU COUNT EXACTLY 52 TIMES.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:24 PM

2016-02-29T18:24:30-05:00

Find the spark plugs for the LMTV, LOL

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:28 PM

2016-02-29T18:28:11-05:00

Light bulb repair kit.
Bottle of squelch juice
Winter air removed from the road wheels
Fill out an ID10T form

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:29 PM

2016-02-29T18:29:39-05:00

Get a smoke stack puller

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:30 PM

2016-02-29T18:30:30-05:00

Response by SFC Bryson Amaral made Feb 29 at 2016 6:31 PM

2016-02-29T18:31:56-05:00

With our MBUs, we "ran out" of fuel so I told our new private to get a can of JP-6 from Distro platoon because it burns hotter and cleaner then JP-8 and is more effective. Distro didn't have any on hand and instructed my private to report back with 2 cans and go to the JP6 fuel point down the road... he ended up walking about a mile down and back with 2 fuel cans and a confused/ angry/ hurt look on his face when the fueler said he was an idiot..

Response by SPC Andrew Griffin made Feb 29 at 2016 6:45 PM

2016-02-29T18:45:56-05:00

I had a few look for a box of Grid Squares! A team of Privates Stack on a Portable John! Then Conduct a Search and Seizure inside! LOL!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 6:51 PM

2016-02-29T18:51:58-05:00

I was sent for gun line as a LCpl, and I did my best to get some. I couldn't understand why the supply sergeant responded with such hostility.

Response by 1SG David Niles made Feb 29 at 2016 7:11 PM

2016-02-29T19:11:36-05:00

Go bang you Kevlar against tower 4 for a radar check

Response by SPC Anne Miller made Feb 29 at 2016 7:23 PM

2016-02-29T19:23:49-05:00

Turn in my rifle to Captain, after I had ordered rifles stacked and appointed him guard.

Response by SMSgt Mike Wood made Feb 29 at 2016 7:35 PM

2016-02-29T19:35:33-05:00

Exhaust bearings in Jeep. Would place nine small ball-bearings in tail pipe of jeep. Have PVT hit pipe with a hammer. Told him to stop when ALL TEN came out.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 7:38 PM

2016-02-29T19:38:41-05:00

I had a private who considered himself a rap star. One weekend I get a phone call from my Platoon Sergeant asking me if I knew where he was at. I assumed he was in the barracks. The PS had heard a rumor he took a 2 hour flight to Tokyo for the weekend. This was Sunday night.
Well, lo and behold I get a phone call from Pvt McDowney about 30 minutes later obviously tripping balls (robotripping on Coricidine).
He told me he was a millionaire and to prove it wanted me to google his name. Then he wanted me to go talk to the Air Force and coordinate a tactical extraction from the front of Narita airport. He said money was no object. Later he asked me to forward him money to his millionaire bank account so he sent me a screenshot of his account screen (which had a $4 balance).
He had a "rap gig" on Saturday night and did so many drugs he was retarded.
I called the MPs and they drove 2 hours to Tokyo to pick him up and take him to camp Zama. The Platoon Sergeant had to go TDY to pick him up.

This was about the 3rd and most serious offense in his 6 month tenure. He was recently court martialed and finally received the fame he wanted so much in the NJP section of the Army Times

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Feb 29 at 2016 7:39 PM

2016-02-29T19:39:41-05:00

We used to tell new pvts to report to the Supply Sgt and check out a bucket of back-blast and the keys to the grinder. Can't remember if they ever used any of these examples on me. Too long ago.

Response by SSG Ryan Moore made Feb 29 at 2016 7:39 PM

2016-02-29T19:39:45-05:00

A box of grid squares... Buckets of prop wash.. Chem light batteries

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 7:42 PM

2016-02-29T19:42:07-05:00

Get chalk and hammer from mechanics, Find, identify and mark all soft spots in the Bradley armor.
Bring me a bfa for an M9/M320
Get more Chem light batteries
Aquire an Acog battery
Ask the 2LT for a DD form ID10T (really good for a junior Joe who loses their CAC card.
It's an endless list

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 7:42 PM

2016-02-29T19:42:50-05:00

Hey pvt go see if supply has any chemlight batteries

Response by SFC Frank Burns made Feb 29 at 2016 7:46 PM

2016-02-29T19:46:55-05:00

Go to Supply and get a box of grid squares. Go to the Motor Pool and feed the Gamma Goats. Go to S1 and pick up an ID10t form.

Response by 1SG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 7:47 PM

2016-02-29T19:47:47-05:00

PSG said the CDR wants an exhaust sample from his HMMWV. ha said just to tape it to his door with a hand receipt.

Response by Shawn Clement made Feb 29 at 2016 7:58 PM

2016-02-29T19:58:40-05:00

Tune the radar wrapped in foil, get the keys to the sea chest, exhaust samples , wheel wash samples, skyhook , board stretcher, bilge monsters lol o so many to list , ship life was not easy for the new guys

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 8:05 PM

2016-02-29T20:05:45-05:00

- Flight line
- Light bulb repair kit
- Exhaust samples
- HMMWV keys

Response by SGT James Allen made Feb 29 at 2016 8:40 PM

2016-02-29T20:40:07-05:00

Sent a Private to bring back am ST-1(st-one). He looked for over a half an hour and even asked the Plt Sergeant. He sent him to the far side of the motor pool. We all about pissed our pants laughing.

Response by SGT James Allen made Feb 29 at 2016 8:44 PM

2016-02-29T20:44:14-05:00

Sent a private to the range tower to turn on the range fans to blow away the morning fog.

Response by SPC Darren Koele made Feb 29 at 2016 9:18 PM

2016-02-29T21:18:24-05:00

The usual; bolt stretcher, board stretcher, muffler bearings, etc.
Though my favorite came when my entire squad except myself and a new guy were tasked on border patrol in Germany. The new guy was still in processing which left me alone to perform PMCS on the squad's vehicles and maintain the S-4 yard. Was actually a nice relax gig. Platoon leader saw me trying to straighten up the yard one day by myself; organize POL products in a conex, straighten up barbed and concertina wire, reorganize demolition and miclic trailers etc. Said he would get me help from the other platoons. Received 2 young privates from each platoon except one guy who was a SPC; so a total of 6 guys. I tasked the SPC and the private from his platoon on trailers and the other four I put on wire duty. Started with concertina wire. They had to pull each roll off, untangle it, get all the debris out of it, and bundle it back up neatly, and stack it neatly, 5 rolls per pallet, 15 pallets. On the second pallet they had a problem; someone got a camo net stuck in the concertina wire and simply cut around the tangled part leaving it stuck in the wire. The fun came when I told them they will have to untangle it completely then find the source net and patch it back together. Also told them each roll and each net is specifically assigned to a particular APC in a particular platoon and they can't be changed. Everyone knows messing with camo netting is like messing with a giant spider web; it catches on everything (this is also why I put the SPC on a different job). After watching them struggle, nearly coming to blows a couple times, for about 2 hours. I finally let them off the hook and told them to place it to the side.
Of course, they didn't trust me much after on the entire task. Finally, with the help of the other SPC, we convinced them it was all legit except for the whole "assignment" thing.
Maybe it was one of those things where you had to be there, but it still brings a chuckle from my belly.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 9:26 PM

2016-02-29T21:26:58-05:00

Go down and get your mattress stamped by the JOOD on the quarterdeck, or go find a stack of 8404s.

Response by PO1 Brian Austin made Feb 29 at 2016 9:32 PM

2016-02-29T21:32:31-05:00

Mail buoy watch while underway.
"Go pick up the box of ST 1 at the guard shack. Be sure you have the guards, supervisors and watch officer verify the serial number and sign the 1D10T form, in order." (ST 1 = stone)
"The ship-shore circuit is down, go to the maintenance shop and get some crypto sync fluid, HURRY!!"

Fun times with the noobs...lol I admit i got caught with the "crypto sync fluid" one on my first midwatch....took me a couple minutes to figure out why the CTM was laughing.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 9:32 PM

2016-02-29T21:32:58-05:00

We had a PVT go to the supply sergeant to get the keys to Area J (Which is a training area and PT area in the middle of the woods off of Gruber on Fort Bragg)... I guess supply wanted to play along because the PVT then came back with a set of keys.

Response by SSG Brian Lovins made Feb 29 at 2016 10:04 PM

2016-02-29T22:04:36-05:00

Well it wasn't me and it wasn't the privates but when I was Active duty stationed at Ft Stewart one of my SPC's would always mess with the new LT's that would come through. I went out one Monday morning during command maintenance too find a new Plt leader jumping up and down on a bradley, when I asked him what he was doing he said the SPC told him to check the shocks.. this was the 4th Bradley they had checked the shocks on... Another time the same LT came up and said he need the keys to the basement of the motor pool so he could get some blackout drive fluid... I could keep going.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 10:22 PM

2016-02-29T22:22:34-05:00

Navy equivalent: Lay to the bosun's locker to get me 10 meters of water line and 20 meters of chow line!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 10:50 PM

2016-02-29T22:50:49-05:00

Tell him to go ask SSG "blank" for a prickesix"

Soldier goes to that SSG, "SSG, I'm looking for a prick E6, SGT "so and so" told me you're the one to ask. Lol

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 11:46 PM

2016-02-29T23:46:11-05:00

Tried to have a new Grunt do an exhaust sample on a Bradley one time. He ended up melting the trash bag to the exhaust and my battle and I had to replace it. Chief didn't think it was so funny.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 3:21 AM

2016-03-01T03:21:27-05:00

Send them for a box of grid squares or chem light batteries.

Response by SFC Tim Grounds made Mar 1 at 2016 7:21 AM

2016-03-01T07:21:25-05:00

We would send the new guy for;
A rope for the water-buffalo,
Keys to the impact area,
Lanyard grease,
Feed the Gamma-Goats

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:42 AM

2016-03-01T07:42:45-05:00

Send a private to have all guns section chiefs sign off of the HE round. Each section would send him to somewhere else. And finally to the Btry Gunny's truck.

Response by SGT Travis Deuley made Mar 1 at 2016 8:26 AM

2016-03-01T08:26:20-05:00

We had an absolutely amazing Commander! This guy was a soldier's soldier, and was all about practical jokes. When we would get a fresh batch of Pvts in, we would line them up like bowling pins. The Captain would then attempt to get a strike, with a basketball. If all the pins didn't fall, the Corporals would be set on them like rabid monkeys. The pins would all wind up doing push-ups, because the Captain should always bowl a strike.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 8:51 AM

2016-03-01T08:51:19-05:00

Having them vacuum the motor pool

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 9:35 AM

2016-03-01T09:35:41-05:00

I had a Soldier to come in as a SPC so he thought he was the sh*t. I told him we needed an exhaust sample from the 5 ton for the AOAP inspection. After a few hours he came back with a garbage bag taped up that he collected the exhaust in...lol

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 10:02 AM

2016-03-01T10:02:12-05:00

Sent a young, dumb airman to supply for a box of Fallopian tubes, which took all day with visits to security forces, maintenance, comm, and finally medical. Asked another to get me a box a grid squares, 1K meter spool of flight line, board stretcher, thumb screws, and a bucket of prop wash.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 11:24 AM

2016-03-01T11:24:20-05:00

I was never a private, but at my first unit, I was told (and I did) wear my swimming suit and grab a towel and go down to the motor pool; go to HQ and get a box of grid squares, (they actually had a box of cut out grid squares from a map); go to HQ and get an ID 10 T form (yeah, that went over well); and go get a can of air for the Deuce and a half...(I think I actually found one of those though...) Oh yeah, they had a blast with me the newbie noob....

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 12:21 PM

2016-03-01T12:21:53-05:00

I remember speaking with some fellow officers next to the Assault Amphibian Schools Battalion and seeing this PFC identifying parts on the AAV until he hit a snag and was searching feverishly around the vehicle as a couple of the Sergeants were supervising chuckled. I asked what they were doing and apparently they were having him "find the flux capacitor".

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Mar 1 at 2016 1:45 PM

2016-03-01T13:45:51-05:00

One of our Chiefs was always dogging on new Ensigns. One particular one was the butt of his humor constantly. One day he told him we needed to order an overhead buffer ("overhead" is the ceiling) and another day 50 yards of gig line ("gig line" is making sure your shirt lines up with your buckle, pants, etc). Had him go to the engineer and see if he could borrow a fallopian tube bender. The Eng was pissed as he was really busy and reamed the Ensign for being so gullible. He'd had enough and one day the Chief told him we needed some military-bearing grease. He refused to go. The Chief told the engineer. Imagine the Ensigns surprise when empty can said "grease, bearing, military..." Luckily the Eng was in a good mood.

Enlisted? We had an E-2 ask while underway (we're on a submarine) if "we get mail?" We laugh. "No seriously guys, do we get mail?" One of the Chiefs tells the boy that we have a mail buoy in the ocean that we pull up to and colllect our mail. The kid got all excited and the Chief asked him if he'd like to volunteer to go topside and collect the buoy when it arrives? He agreed. We dressed him suitably in foul weather gear and anti-C suit. We had him wait in the Aux Upper Level hatch space until the time came. Poor guy was there about two hours before he figured it out...

Response by SFC J Fullerton made Mar 1 at 2016 1:55 PM

2016-03-01T13:55:15-05:00

Go to supply and get a....
25ft extension cord for the range fan
TR double E
Or ask the 1SG how much we are getting paid on the next health and welfare check

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Mar 1 at 2016 2:52 PM

2016-03-01T14:52:53-05:00

Sent a Soldier out to get a box of grid squares once at Fort Benning. Joke was on me when he showed up 6 hours later after walking all the way to DPW and back with a box full of the short track sections that go in a drop ceiling with the factory label saying grid squares on it.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 3:31 PM

2016-03-01T15:31:01-05:00

I need three feet of flight line and a canopy iron. And stop by ordinance and get a stack of 6531's on your way back

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 4:10 PM

2016-03-01T16:10:04-05:00

private, go get grid square from x-ray and get fallopian tubes from the lab.

Response by MAJ Michael Roe made Mar 1 at 2016 4:28 PM

2016-03-01T16:28:12-05:00

Sent a PVT that just got his license in Germany on an hour long (remote station) drive to supply for frequency grease. Supply found some for him and sent him back.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 5:22 PM

2016-03-01T17:22:19-05:00

The old one in the National Guard was tell the PVT to go to the basement and retrieve a mop. Of course the building did not have a basement but it sure was fun watching them open all doors to find one!

Response by CPO Randy Francis made Mar 1 at 2016 6:29 PM

2016-03-01T18:29:09-05:00

Sent one to the Platoon Sergeant one time for a Prick E-7. I think they're still scraping that guy off of the ceiling.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:14 PM

2016-03-01T19:14:01-05:00

When I was in basic, I had to help escort a solider back to reception for out processing (crazy town), saw a small group formed up outside a building and casually mentioned that the DS really like it when you pick up their headgear whenever they get more than 10 feet away from it.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:57 PM

2016-03-01T19:57:05-05:00

Oh man, some of the simpler classic ones like "Go get the keys to the Jammer" (MJU-1 keyless truck), or using trash bags to collect the monthly Emissions sample from the trucks to take to motor pool. Our job got a bit more creative, since we work with explosives regularly, and we had a beautifully sealed, marked with Lot number and everything, munitions can that was extremely sensitive to motion, and needed to be hand carried to the Chief's office for personal inspection because it contained Dihydrogen Monoxide and Carbonic Acid. Chief never did deliver on his promise to take a picture of the young Airmen's faces when he cut open the tape to pull out the bottle of soda inside.

Response by CPT Stephen Nielsen made Mar 1 at 2016 8:06 PM

2016-03-01T20:06:17-05:00

I remember walking into the track park and observed two of my new privates jumping up and down on the back of a Bradley. I asked them what they were doing, and was told that they were checking the shock absorbers.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 10:28 PM

2016-03-01T22:28:11-05:00

Go to the LT and tell him we need a new box of Grid Squares.
Go get a ball-peen hammer and test for soft spots on the M113 and mark them with this black crayon with an X
Hey Private, we need a wall stretcher

Response by SFC Don Ward made Mar 1 at 2016 11:15 PM

2016-03-01T23:15:08-05:00

take the alcohol ampules out of an 258 skin decon kit, tell lieutenants they are refills for chem lights.

Response by PFC Canaan Bailie made Mar 2 at 2016 4:23 AM

2016-03-02T04:23:55-05:00

Once Sent an FNG to the maintenance Sgt for a box of reticles and a can of A. I. R.

Response by LCDR Will Sa-Onoy made Mar 2 at 2016 4:45 AM

2016-03-02T04:45:52-05:00

Sent them to supply for BA-11-00-Ns. Watched them walk back around the base with them in tow.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2016 6:18 AM

2016-03-02T06:18:41-05:00

we like to hand new guys a bucket full of water and a paint brush and tell them that it is IR paint and that each vic in the motor pool needs two full coats.. then when they are done with that give them a bike tire pump make sue its labeled for what ever state you are going to do training in and tell them that the air pressure is different in that state and make them fill up all the humve tires with a bike pump

Response by CSM Joseph Mitchell made Mar 2 at 2016 7:04 AM

2016-03-02T07:04:28-05:00

Send them to supply for 50 feet of flight line.

Response by PO2 Ray Michalak made Mar 2 at 2016 8:04 AM

2016-03-02T08:04:24-05:00

We used to send our young Airmen to Maintenance Control for aircraft keys or keys to the flight deck.

Response by 1LT Aaron Barr made Mar 2 at 2016 8:08 AM

2016-03-02T08:08:55-05:00

Told one of my PVTs that the water buffalo needed fed, the mocked him about knowing less than a 2LT when he gave me a quizzical look. Later that day, got lectured by my Platoon Sergeant about how that type of thing was NCO business and my role was the 'good cop.' When we got our next new PVT, I told him I needed him to find me a PRC E-7, he ended up beating his face for a while when he asked our Platoon Sergeant where to find one. My PSG then figured out who gave him this mission, came running up to me asking if I'd told the PVT to find a PRC-E7; I told him that I had and that he'd succeeded. Needless to say my PSG was NOT amused but he paid me back; I was 'allowed' to help break track on one of my launchers later that week.....

Response by 1LT Aaron Barr made Mar 2 at 2016 8:13 AM

2016-03-02T08:13:27-05:00

Watched one of the WOs on our base fire up his Blackhawk and idle the rotor so a PVT could collect a bucket of propwash.....

Response by Sgt Tom Cunnally made Mar 2 at 2016 8:52 AM

2016-03-02T08:52:12-05:00

I had this Pvt clean the bottom of a GI can with a blitz cloth so it was not only clean but so he could see himself in it. But I just made Cpl and may have been feeling my oaths too much. But didn't do anything stupid like that again.. We nicknamed this Pvt "Daffy Duck" & he was in my squad... he almost gave me a nervous breakdown because he just was not with the program.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2016 9:08 AM

2016-03-02T09:08:24-05:00

In the days before cellphones, we used to write the number to the local KFC on a sticky, give it to them and tell them they needed to call COL Sanders or the marina and ask for CPT Nemo. The best one I ever pulled, gave a new guy the number to a local OBGYN and told him he needed to call and talk to PVT Parts.

Response by SSgt Dan Montague made Mar 2 at 2016 10:32 AM

2016-03-02T10:32:59-05:00

Have the new guy carry a 100lb arty round to the battery XO to have him register it. Then he would get sent to the btry gunny, so on and so on.

Or send him with a couple primers to the XO and have him tell the XO ' the section chief sent me here to exchange these low angle primers for high angle ones".

Response by SCPO Jason McLaughlin made Mar 2 at 2016 11:01 AM

2016-03-02T11:01:07-05:00

Sent lots of Sailors down to the Gear Locker to check out some E.A.R Wax to polish brightwork.....

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2016 12:28 PM

2016-03-02T12:28:01-05:00

When out in the field I would have the newest Soldier go shake a tree and look at my map. Then continue to yell at the Soldier for not shaking the tree hard enough because it wasn't showing up on the map (Goal is always to see how long they will keep it up). Or ask a Soldier if they have "Koalafied" recently. When they respond with "no", have them hug a tree.

Response by SGT Kevin Goff made Mar 2 at 2016 1:07 PM

2016-03-02T13:07:33-05:00

we used the exhaust samples, box of grid squares, go get a form ID10T from PLL and some others that I can't remember now

Response by SSG Ronald Colwell made Mar 2 at 2016 3:04 PM

2016-03-02T15:04:06-05:00

Always loved the Chem light batteries, and that we need them quick before the current ones run out

Response by PFC Eric Brown made Mar 3 at 2016 3:32 PM

2016-03-03T15:32:04-05:00

Ok, these are all classic. But let me turn the tables on you. How about a PFC who pranks a Drill Sergeant for April Fools Day?

After Basic and MP School at Ft. McClellan, I was held over for a short time prior to my final PT test to make up for time on profile after having surgery on one of my hands. There were a few others who had taken their PT Test at the end of AIT and had failed, and then failed the follow up PT test and were now waiting to be discharged. One of the other guys was known for slipping away from the company area and becoming a bit intoxicated.

So it happened that on April Fools Day, the Drill Sergeant who was stuck with CQ was a pretty laid back guy who, with my status of just basically awaiting orders, I got along with pretty well and helped him out with his new platoon of cherries. Well, the Pvt who was awaiting discharge had left the Company Area for a while, so went to the pay phone just around the corner from the CQ and then called the CQ. One of the dumb cherries answered the phone and, in my best southern type accent, I said, "Private, this is Sgt So and So down at the PM office. I need to speak IMMEDIATELY with the NCOIC."

The phone was handed off to this particular DS and I said,"Sergeant Anonymous, this is Sgt SO and So at the PM office. We have one of your Privates down here in the drunk tank and we need for you to come pick him up." He asked who it was and I named the guy. DS Anonymous said, "Well, SHIT! Damn! Give me a few, I've got to call the fuckin CO. Damn, he is gonna be PISSED!"

I said, "That's fine Sgt. Take your time, he's not going anywhere", and hung up the phone. I then ran to the CQ door, did the whole knock, announce, and step back to the line and wait. DS Anonymous came to the door, opened it up, red faced, and said, "Not now, Brown. I've gotta call the Captain about something serious" and closed the door. I took two steps forward, opened the door and said..."DS Anonymous, April Fucking Fools!", closed the door and walked away laughing. He opened the door and started asking me if that was me that had called. I never said a word, I was laughing so hard. He called me a few choice names and then started laughing himself.

The following week, I went with the new cherries on a road march so I wouldn't get soft....I got paid back....but it was worth it LOL

Response by SSG Carl Keene made Mar 3 at 2016 8:38 PM

2016-03-03T20:38:09-05:00

As a fuel handler sending them out on the flight line for a bucket of rotor wash. The best ones were when the Chinook pilots recognized what was going on, would flare just before touch down and blow the private down the flight line after the bucket. I still laugh at that one.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2019 12:35 PM

2019-06-07T12:35:15-04:00

When I first got back into the guard as an E4, had some wise-ass E6 try to get me with the old "I need a box of grid squares" routine. Imagine his surprise when I came back about 20 minutes later with a box of these....

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2021 3:11 AM

2021-05-18T03:11:25-04:00

Lmao