What are your feelings on the stereotypical "dependapotamus"?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 12:12:32 -0500

So I've noticed more and more that SM's spouses are thinking that they have rank equivalent to their SM. Whether it be they deserve a free Veteran's day meal or that they are above other spouses. I attached an example from my facebook timeline. What are everyone's opinions?

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 12:52 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 12:52:37 -0500

I find that thinking extremely hard to believe, SSG Private RallyPoint Member. My goodness. And I think she's sincere that she and her husband earned that CIB (or something like that). Spouses are recognized in their own way, but not in this way. She doesn't "have a CIB" either. Brutal.

Response by SN Jennifer M. made Nov 30 at 2014 12:54 PM

SN Jennifer M. — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 12:54:49 -0500

I have been a military spouse longer than I was AD. I hate this side. I miss the military. These women are vicious.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 3:21 PM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 15:21:52 -0500

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Laugh in face, verbally own. Insert witty comment here:_______________________. Get a life lady. Honestly my wife would probably knock out some teeth.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Nov 30 at 2014 3:23 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 15:23:19 -0500

Response by CMSgt James Nolan made Nov 30 at 2014 3:27 PM

CMSgt James Nolan — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 15:27:23 -0500

That cracked me up as well.

A long time ago (1989), a 2ndLt of Marines called all of us NCOs into a meeting to tell us how things were going to be in the Corps.....when done, he told us that his wife was going to have a meeting with the NCOs wives to let them know....... That meeting got stopped when we went off.

That really happened

Response by SSG V. Michelle Woods made Nov 30 at 2014 3:44 PM

SSG V. Michelle Woods — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 15:44:49 -0500

I have recently started looking at Army wives with a more mature perspective. Excluding the stereotypical dependapotamas, I can't imagine being home alone so often, raising babies, wiping up baby goo (gross!), dealing with those sometimes violent, unstable, emotionally-charged veterans and basically covering down for their man. I used to despise them. Im starting to see how being a spouse just might be as hard as being a service member.

I've only been in 6 years but this dependa mentality isn't new to me at all. I used to kick, cuss and scream over my frustrations with these women who wear my PT shirt so carelessly. Now however, I think I would just gently remind her she is not her husband and can't assume his awards or rank.

She is, however, a large reason why her husband is successful and I would thank her for her sacrifice just as much as I would thank her veteran.

I think most just feel under appreciated so they compliment themselves enough to compensate. Kinda like infantrymen lol :)

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Nov 30 at 2014 4:51 PM

SSG Trevor S. — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 16:51:02 -0500

Send her a55 to basic.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 5:17 PM

A1C Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 17:17:11 -0500

My brother is an officer, his wife hates the spouses that think because they married an officer they out rank people. He was prior enlisted which I'm sure humbled her down a bit. She knows she didn't do as much work as him on deployment, and it wasn't the same type of work. I have never seen her treat his troops wives any differently, aside from giving advice to the new ones who need someone who has been through it before. She is one of the few, I have seen them treat her differently for being humble, which I think is worse. She knows she has no rank and tries to lead by example.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 5:28 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 17:28:59 -0500

SSG Private RallyPoint Member. While the entire business of wearing a spouses rank is awfully bad idea . . . it is important to remember spouses serve in their own way . . . keeping the home fires burning . . . and spouses of higher ranking officers may have better access to more senior officers and associated financial / personnel / emergency assistance resources . . . that they may be able to call on in order to help spouses of more junior personnel with urgent family difficulties. While senior spouse privilege is beyond the pall . . . their access to superior resources cannot be denied. Warmest Regards, Sandy

Response by TSgt Jackie Jones made Nov 30 at 2014 5:49 PM

TSgt Jackie Jones — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 17:49:27 -0500

I support the spouses and family that support the military member. But that spouse is NOT a Veteran. They are a Veteran's Spouse. Spouses and dependents already receive benefits. They do not need to receive rank.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 6:03 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 18:03:24 -0500

This is awesome. I'm gonna haveine come pull staff duty for me, since she can carry my authority. Lol. Just kidding. My wife is an NCO too. But if she weren't, this would be an awesome remark listen SMs. Your spouse is a reflection of you. It's hard to keep some of their dumb remarks in check. So just brush it off if you hear a wife say things like this. It's not like the SM is gonna let you tell his wife off for saying something stupid. And he can't "Tay rice" her for a dumb remark. He can only laugh about it and hold his head in shame. Coz bottom line, she is senior in rank at home. Lol. Cheers.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 6:08 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 18:08:37 -0500

I understand sharing the load. My wife has a high level degree and helped support her with that, but that does not make me a (fill in blank job). My wife has supported me during my deployments and now with my time in the Guard. She enjoys the benefits of being in the military but she understands I deal with the job and she deals with the side effects like deployments and my crazy hours.

If you don't support your spouse in the military or the civilian world you have issues with your marriage, if your spouse goes off the deep end acts superior to other spouses then you both have problems.

Response by MSgt Lamont Goolsby made Nov 30 at 2014 7:56 PM

MSgt Lamont Goolsby — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 19:56:31 -0500

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Nov 30 at 2014 8:57 PM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 20:57:32 -0500

I think the term "dependapotamus" is offensive and demeaning toward the significant other of the SM. Spouses/partners make great sacrifices in their own right, and while they may not be deploying down range, they are still vital to the health of our military.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2014 9:06 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 21:06:55 -0500

Hahahaha. I cant help but laugh!

Response by SSG Regina Golding made Dec 1 at 2014 8:49 AM

SSG Regina Golding — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 08:49:03 -0500

Lol, that's terrible and it upset me so much that I had to laugh. I don't have a CIB and neither does my husband but I hope she holds her breath until I give her some push-ups.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Dec 1 at 2014 1:15 PM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 13:15:24 -0500

I have seen a great many dependents attempt to assume the rank of their sponsors, often to the point of ridiculousness. I knew one Lieutenant General's (O-9) wife who referred to herself as "Mrs. General XXXX".

Family members go through a lot and deserve a lot of credit. My wife spent as much time with Family Support responsibilities, when I was deployed, as most people do in a full-time paying job. She did it because she wanted to and because members of our unit were "family". She never "wore rank" and did not like or respect those who did.

From my experience, some of the worst offenders of wearing their sponsors' rank are teenage family members. Some of them are much worse than spouses.

Response by SSG John Erny made Dec 1 at 2014 5:47 PM

SSG John Erny — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 17:47:26 -0500

Wow! Do those who are a loved one of a service member deserve to talk smack, hell no. Joking, in the right crowd OK. They do deserve respect of the highest order if they stick by the side of their loved one who serves. They don't make a medal, tab, or patch that can cover that.
Now after reading what she said did his over exuberance encourage that behaviour or is that just her? Be professional and be humble in all things you do. Leave the Hooah stuff for training, in garrison or down range. It is not for civilian consumption, They can't handle it, not even civilian loved ones. Don't try to sell hooah to a vet from another generation, you were not there, nor were they with you.

The awards, badges, and tabs we get tell a story of our careers that others in uniform know how to read. Some of these are for Valor, some for service, some for sacrifice. None of them are transferable to another person. Families have every right to be proud of what their loved has done and to display that pride as part of the military family unit. We have a gold star mother in my community that works with veterans upward bound, she is very proud, and the troops coming home and attending college have a foster mother of sorts helping them along.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2014 7:03 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 19:03:33 -0500

I have been both a dependent and a SM. My husband was a SM and then a spouse. (We flip-flopped). And this attitude is foreign...to both of us. On the one hand, both of us had it rough as dependents, but rough as SMs, too.
I can understand where this comes from, though. And the fact that we women do it isn't new.
How many women have we met, with a successful husbands? They tend to have an arrogance about them, as in, "I have an alpha male. What you got, bitch?"
I saw it as a spouse and as a dependent...and as a worker catering to upscale clients. Unfortunately, this type of mentality is due to the propensity of females to out-compete each other. If anybody believes that the majority of women don't do this, they have little grasp on how females think.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2014 7:45 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 19:45:52 -0500

Um....

Response by MSgt Aaron Brite made Dec 1 at 2014 7:58 PM

MSgt Aaron Brite — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 19:58:16 -0500

Before I respond I have to ask, what does CIB and POG mean? 19 years in and I have never heard these terms before. Does RallyPoint have a glossary?

Response by SSG Patricia Padilla made Dec 1 at 2014 10:52 PM

SSG Patricia Padilla — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 22:52:50 -0500

Barf, I understand respect for one another. but a spouse can demand what they want from within their own household. I'll put it nicely, they can go kick rocks with that shit.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2014 3:46 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:46:37 -0500

It would be funny, if it wasn't so true. Even in the National Guard, there are those spouses (both sides) that walk with the air of influence, or the aura of 'rank'. My fiancé, whose first military experience before me, was with the show Army Wives, would laugh as she pointed out the individuals who carried themselves a little bit 'taller and better' than everyone else on post.

It almost became a game, to figure out which rank the spouses' significant other was.

Response by Sgt Sasha Cruz made Dec 2 at 2014 4:04 PM

Sgt Sasha Cruz — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:04:11 -0500

I can't stand them. Claiming "We serve too", or another post I saw said "we're military". I'll put them in place each and every single time. I don't care who her husband is. As long as I use tact, no matter what her spouses rank is, I won't face retaliation.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2014 4:19 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:19:50 -0500

I find this just slightly less appalling than stolen valor. Some military spouses just don't get it. I have been on 4 deployments and I completely understand that what my wife deals with is alien to me and that I have no idea what she goes through day to day other than what she tells me about. But the inverse is also absolutely true.

Response by SPC Jack Hunt, JR made Dec 2 at 2014 4:53 PM

SPC Jack Hunt, JR — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:53:20 -0500

Oh I actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD! I say go jump up a rope lady!

Response by CW4 Aaron Rasmussen made Dec 3 at 2014 12:57 PM

CW4 Aaron Rasmussen — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 12:57:14 -0500

This is an age-old problem. Social media makes it easier to use and notice. It's crap, but don't tell the Colonel's wife I said that. ;)

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 3 at 2014 4:03 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 16:03:47 -0500

it is a crazy world out there. working at the clinic/hospital settings where we see patients on the daily, the craziest of them all is the 30/31/32/33/34 codes.

just telling the truth. you don't believe me? go visit sheppard afb facebook page and scroll through.

you won't miss them. enjoy!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 3 at 2014 11:16 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 23:16:57 -0500

I don't understand this either. I have been married the entire 16 years of my enlistment and my wife has spent a considerable amount of time holding the household down without me. However, she has a BA degree and is a GS-7. she has her own career, she doesn't mine.

Now, the kicker. In 1AD we used to refer to the spouses of our senior leaders, the Gerneral, CoS, CSM, G staff, and BN leadership as "Senior Spouses" and would have weekly staff call with some of them in tow on rear-d. I still can't believe this happend and only reinforces this mentality. The spouses
would even be seated by their "rank" of their spouse.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2014 12:05 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 12:05:05 -0500

That is funny. There are some who think that way, but not all do. Once, when I worked at the Ft. Benning ER, we had a spouse come to sign in for something minor, during the normal hours (0800-1600). She did not have one of the imprinted stamp plates (required), and as it was non-emergent, she was directed to go to patient admin to have one made.

She got irate, and said in a loud voice "I'll have you know my husband is a PV2, and I don't have to do that." Before anyone could say anything (because of laughing at that absurdity), a nice lady behind her did it for us. The second lady (a little older), tapped her on the shoulder and said "Excuse me, my husband is MG *****, and I have a blue stamp card. Now you need to take yourself over there to get one." The 1st lady shut up and did as told.

I still laugh at this one 30+ years later. True story.

Response by MSgt Bj Jones made Dec 6 at 2014 12:37 AM

MSgt Bj Jones — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:37:19 -0500

I about had a knock down drag out fight with my Mum over the phone about whether or not she, as a dependent spouse, was 'just as much in the military' as my Dad and Stepdad. She cited how she had to keep it together, deal with us kids, take care of everything while Dad was gone, et cetera. While I respect dependent spouses and kids, having been a Navy brat as well as Military married to Military, then Military with Retiree Dependent, now Retired with Retiree Dependent (yes, my husband has a Retired ID and Dependent ID as he falls under me for Tricare--weird, I know), I still don't see dependents as 'just as much in the military as the member'. After all, while it is tough being the one left at home, at least the ones left at home didn't take the oath that required them to be willing to forfeit their very lives if necessary. If the dependent spouse wants to leave and take the kids, he/she can usually do so. Courts tend to favour civilian spouses in divorce cases, unless there are other factors to consider. While the spouse may have supported the service member's career, it was the service member who earned that rank/rate--not the spouse. If the spouse helped in studying promotion tests, well, depending on the branch of service, that may constitute "Test Compromise" which is illegal (Air Force).

Response by MSgt Bj Jones made Dec 6 at 2014 12:35 AM

MSgt Bj Jones — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:35:54 -0500

If the spouse in question is married to an Officer and insists on being saluted, then salute with your left hand. It'll feel weird at first, but eventually, you'll get used to it. ;)

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 6 at 2014 10:44 AM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 10:44:35 -0500

I refuse to believe this is real....cant be. SM need to talk to their spouses because in the end they are embrassing there family. Especially with posts like that.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2014 10:44 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 22:44:59 -0500

Just to further my explanation on my feelings.....

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Dec 11 at 2014 1:50 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 13:50:09 -0500

I can only assume the screen grab that started this thread is fake or satire.. But there is the real possibility someone penned those words with intent and context as implied.... Takes all kinds.

As to Army wives..... I could not have deployed so many times and come home in one piece without my wife.. As my Soldiers trusted in me to lead, train support, provide for them and their needs... So I did with my wife.
A Prior service NCO while we dated, a full time wife mother, local economy worker, housing maintenance specialist, day care provider, medical health care provider, referee , often the "mom" other kids adopted....lol.. Without her these last 25 plus years, I would not have been as successful in my daily duties of these United States Forces.

Go ahead, talk smack about Military wifes, if the specific person deserves the negative attention so be it... If not, we are going to have a discussion.... neither of us will win,,, but a point will be made.

Response by Sgt Sherry Taylor-Bruce made Dec 11 at 2014 4:34 PM

Sgt Sherry Taylor-Bruce — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 16:34:11 -0500

I understand how the wives feel, because I helped my ex husband with his career after I left active duty. However only the service member or veteran deserves the special honor. Spouse's are special in a different way. I've been both.

Response by Sgt Arlene McQuality made Dec 11 at 2014 5:32 PM

Sgt Arlene McQuality — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 17:32:47 -0500

The family members of a veteran certainly have a tough job and deserve compassion and respect but not over or equal to the service member. They are the ones who signed a blank check to defend our freedom, their spouses shouldn't demand special treatment just because their spouse is capt whoever.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2014 5:56 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 17:56:41 -0500

It is simple, you roll your eyes and say, "ma'am, I will respectfully toss out my bullshit flag". I am aware it is tough on my wife and son when I deploy and harder for others that are in a relationship with those in exponentially more danger than myself. With that being said, not a darn spouse has a right to speak like this to any serving member, or any other spouse.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Dec 20 at 2014 2:12 PM

Capt Richard I P. — Sat, 20 Dec 2014 14:12:35 -0500

SSG Private RallyPoint Member you might enjoy the comments on the thread:
https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/why-do-spouses-insist-on-wearing-uniform-items-that-they-didn-t-earn-better-yet-why-are-the-military-members-letting-them

I think I hit on a lot of what you're talking about here over on the other discussion.

Why do spouses insist on wearing uniform items that they didn't earn? Better yet, why are the...

If I see another spouse half naked in either military blouse or draped in flag, I might loose it. And then claim 'I serve to'. NO. YOU DON'T. 'Toughest job in ___(insert branch here)' I'm a military spouse and I am a Marine, and once I'm off contract, I will not be saying that we serve together while he's gone. I run the home. So do you. Period. Self-entitled lazy .......

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2014 1:02 PM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:02:05 -0500

It makes me giggle. Like a school girl.

Response by SPC Matthew Farnsworth made Dec 22 at 2014 1:07 PM

SPC Matthew Farnsworth — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:07:47 -0500

WTF did I just read... I understand that military wives go through the bullshit of dealing with us but come on the idiocy needs to stop somewhere... That is on the soldier him/herself to explain to their significant other that they are a spouse and nothing more.

Response by PFC Zanie Young made Dec 22 at 2014 1:44 PM

PFC Zanie Young — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:44:41 -0500

Thank goodness I have a wife who don't wear MY rank or qualifications! I have said this before, and I'll say it again: Unless you are actually serving, know what you are talking about before you claim that rank! Last time I checked, only those who wear a uniform (properly, for clarification), carry a card that has your picture on it (and not military spouse with a sponsor), and does PT on a daily basis earns that right! I would say "spends time at war", but, it would be overkill for them.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2014 12:48 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 23 Dec 2014 12:48:09 -0500

If the military wanted you to have a dependapotamus, they would have issued you one.

Response by SPC Leisel Luman made Dec 26 at 2014 3:01 PM

SPC Leisel Luman — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:01:30 -0500

Ladies and gentlemen pull out your ID and view the status. If it reads dependent the CIB is not yours unless you are a prior service spouse and earned it. This in no way diminishes the value of a fantastic military spouse. I know it's hard on the whole family. Having a spouse that is on board and keeping your family intact to come home to May be more precious than their weight in gold. If you are confused about your role in this please pull out your ID card or DD214. That should clear it up

Response by SFC Stephen King made Jul 18 at 2015 8:38 AM

SFC Stephen King — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 08:38:42 -0400

The hardest and most meaningful job in the military is a spouse. That being said regardless of rank if the spouse is not a Veteran no.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 21 at 2015 7:31 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 19:31:25 -0400

The infamous dependa, always taking the good snacks on payday.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2016 11:34 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 11:34:00 -0400

My wife (while I was married) and my girlfriend (after divorce...) both knew their place was by my side. Not acting as a (or equivalent) service member. The girlfriend is medically retired from the AF (I know, I know) Both were here for a deployment. Both couldn't stand the "typical" dependant.

Response by PO3 Leroy Leftwich made Oct 23 at 2016 11:41 AM

PO3 Leroy Leftwich — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 11:41:13 -0400

Woah down there nelly, your husband earned HIS respect. Now you must earn yours in the circle YOU live in.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2016 12:13 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 12:13:15 -0400

I have a lot of respect for the military spouse. The put up with a lot of things. BUT, they are not military. The have no rank and they certainly have not earned a CIB.

Response by SPC Stephen Gerard made Oct 23 at 2016 2:27 PM

SPC Stephen Gerard — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 14:27:10 -0400

Is this real?! It's so banter-esque, it's almost unbelievable. I can't imagine there are REALLY people that fucking stupid.

Response by SSG Edward Joy made Oct 23 at 2016 3:53 PM

SSG Edward Joy — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 15:53:59 -0400

Start pushing for what, if your not infantry your not getting a CIB.

Response by Nae Elizabeth made Oct 23 at 2016 6:01 PM

Nae Elizabeth — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 18:01:52 -0400

I am a wife, and that is it. My husband's job is the Army. If my husband worked at a call center I wouldn't call myself a call center wife. I married him not the Army. He earned his rank not me. I support him like a wife is supposed to but I am just a civilian and that is all.

Response by CPT Karen Nichols McAbee made Feb 2 at 2017 12:17 PM

CPT Karen Nichols McAbee — Thu, 02 Feb 2017 12:17:44 -0500

Unfortunately, they are very real... When I was a LT and married to another LT, I was in the Officers Wives Group for his Battalion. I had 2 of the CPTs wives tell me I was REQUIRED to call them ma'am, because their husband outranked mine. You should have seen the look of shock and horror when I laughed at them! One of them told me to "assume the position of attention" so she could yell at me and 'educate' me. As politely as I could, I told her to have her husband educate her on actual versus perceived rank. Unfortunately, one of the husbands caught me at the PX one day and told me that his wife deserved respect because she was an O-3's wife and I was a lowly O-2's wife. It would have been bad enough had I been in civilian clothes, where he might not know I was also on active duty, but I was in uniform. This time I did, very respectfully, tell him that respect, especially amongst civilians was earned, not a given based upon a spouse's accomplishments. Lucky for me, my Battalion Commander walked by about that time, inquired what was going on and proceeded to have an LTC to CPT conversation. He's still on the short list of favorite commanders I ever worked for!

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 1:46 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 13:46:16 -0500

What in the ever living fucking hole did you just crawl out of?!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 2:48 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 14:48:56 -0500

My exwife said she caught PTSD from me.
She is serious and won't be convinced otherwise.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 2:54 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 14:54:19 -0500

You and your spouse are two different people... Go Get your own goals and achievements...

Response by MSgt Michael Lane made Feb 3 at 2017 3:42 PM

MSgt Michael Lane — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 15:42:37 -0500

It's always been like that had a friend that was a captain USAF EOD with a Ranger tab on top of that he was PCS to Langley when his wife went to the officer wife's meeting the first and last time they asked her what plane her husband flew she told them he was in EOD and they just said oh and just dropped her from the conversation. But that's the way it is in the Airforce anyway.

Response by MSG James Strickland made Feb 3 at 2017 3:54 PM

MSG James Strickland — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 15:54:41 -0500

I served 22 1/2 years in the Army. My wife served those years along side me. She had never tried to assume my rank or entitlements. Though she has seen many other wives try. Her support helped me stay the course. She kept our home going with me working 60 hour weeks and deployments.

Wives/Husdands should be shown some respect for their dedication and support to their service member. But, acting as though they wear the rank or authority is something totally different and shouldn't be tolerated.

God bless those who support our service men and women!!

Response by MAJ Seth Goldstein made Feb 3 at 2017 4:21 PM

MAJ Seth Goldstein — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 16:21:15 -0500

Those are the same people who tell you there are only two branches in the Army. The Infantry and those who support the infantry. It's BS all soldiers and their families sacrifice when someone is deployed.

Response by SPC Larry Weigel Jr. made Feb 3 at 2017 4:27 PM

SPC Larry Weigel Jr. — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 16:27:50 -0500

Yes they should be treated with respect, the spouses handle things at home during deployments. The SSU is a vital component to anyone on duty, that emotional support. But should they be entitled to the same rank, rights or privileges as the SM? No. The SM is the one who earned the title "veteran", all the awards and all the rank. Arrogance has been the downfall of many a person.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 4:45 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 16:45:17 -0500

I'll push for her if she can pass a PT test. I say that because I know she cant

Response by Cpl Elijah Gordon made Feb 3 at 2017 5:26 PM

Cpl Elijah Gordon — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:26:19 -0500

I notice many of the officers are like, "oh my god how dare they use the Dependa stereotype." I'd say you don't have the 'privledge' of ha omg experience the absolutely horrible ways many of your wives treat enlisted. Whether it be demanding to go to the front of the line at the PX, cussing out gate guards for not being quick enough, and generally treating enlisted as shit. In my unit, I was lucky to have good officers with great wives, but around the base you encounter these horrible human beings waking around smug in their confidence that even if you said anything...no one will listen.

Response by PO2 Charlene Basden made Feb 3 at 2017 6:37 PM

PO2 Charlene Basden — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 18:37:35 -0500

LOL, funny, a potato saying "pog". At least pogs had the balls to serve, and don't have to borrow someone else's achievements . Pogs have higher rank than you.

Response by CH (CPT)(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 7:18 PM

CH (CPT)(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 19:18:59 -0500

You ask them into the office, have another NCO there, and you proceed to give them a concealing based on the behavior. If they continue, you recommend and article 15. Right?

I was enlisted for 15 years before becoming a Chaplain and now I would recommend similar action but my first question behind closed door would be, "ok, what's going on?" After you find out, you still do the counseling as appropriate but the counseling is to teach, mentor, and improve the soldier. How can you do that without knowing what the issue really is?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 7:22 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 19:22:43 -0500

Me and my husband are both combat Veterans. This is the epitome of a dependapotomus. As much as I abhore this type of behavior, and I believe this is also the reason why so many military spouses are called dependas. Sure, taking care of the house and home while your significant other is deployed is hard. But, rank does not and will never reflect the work of the spouse. As a female Veteran, I am diappointed that she doesn't feel empowered enough to make decisions (education, volunteer programs, service, and vocation) for herself that renders the respect that she desperately craves, without depriciating the work of her husband in his military career.

Response by PFC John Villarreal made Feb 3 at 2017 7:26 PM

PFC John Villarreal — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 19:26:05 -0500

It's broads like this that makes me with I was KIA'ed
She did not earn a CIB... maybe a CSD...C&m Swallowing Dependalotomus.

Response by GySgt Melissa Gravila made Feb 3 at 2017 7:41 PM

GySgt Melissa Gravila — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 19:41:44 -0500

Wow, I met my husband while we were both active duty, he decided to get out, I chose to stay in. Although I feel spouses do deserve respect, they do go through a lot maintaining the households while the active duty member is on deployment, but they do not rate the rank. Just like the spouse of a LEO, or of an agent, the spouse does not acquire the "rank" of detective, agent etc, but they also hold the homes together as well. JS
S/F

Response by MSgt George Cater made Feb 3 at 2017 8:03 PM

MSgt George Cater — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:03:25 -0500

She's seriously got to be kidding, right? She want a reserved parking spot at the PX & Commissary and a special little flag for her mom van, too?

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 8:12 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:12:46 -0500

The Dependa is strong in this one

Response by SGT Scott Coughlin made Feb 3 at 2017 8:17 PM

SGT Scott Coughlin — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:17:30 -0500

I was a single parent Father NCO for 5 years...I did it by myself...i dont remember getting credit for doing both...dependent spouses are what they are...dependents. If you held down the fort while your spouse went to medical school, would you declare your self a Doctor...dont be an idiot.

Response by CSM Thomas McGarry made Feb 3 at 2017 8:19 PM

CSM Thomas McGarry — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:19:26 -0500

I certainly believe military wives and families deserve recognition, however I will say that having stayed at Shades of Green in WD World several times I'm sometimes appalled at the way some dependents and even soldiers treat the staff. Staff is there to serve your needs but not to be denigrated etc. Also I'm sometimes surprised how some parents allow their rug rats run around and just in general misbehave. Don't misunderstand me as I have also met many great people there while on vacation there.

Response by Sgt Eric Kerr made Feb 3 at 2017 8:19 PM

Sgt Eric Kerr — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:19:27 -0500

Can't be real

Response by Sgt Eric Kerr made Feb 3 at 2017 8:22 PM

Sgt Eric Kerr — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:22:26 -0500

There is no freaking way this is real and as a civilian I would probably have words for this boot shower shoe if it was real due to the fact that I have nothing to say to his..... oh yeah, wife, who never was awarded a CIB.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 8:43 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:43:32 -0500

Response by MSgt Thomas Hindle made Feb 3 at 2017 8:46 PM

MSgt Thomas Hindle — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:46:47 -0500

Absolutely not! I'm retired, and was married to my wife for my entire career, so it's true she endured everything I did, and she did it admirably. In fact, I always remind her that the retirement check is something we earned together. However, only one of us actually wore the rank. She understands that, and understood it when we were on active duty "together".

Response by SGT Brian Stadler made Feb 3 at 2017 9:09 PM

SGT Brian Stadler — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 21:09:54 -0500

This is so laughable I can't even respond. Thank God my spouse was a soldier as well, and didn't participate in any of that Family Support Group stuff.

Response by PO3 Denise Koppel made Feb 3 at 2017 9:24 PM

PO3 Denise Koppel — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 21:24:32 -0500

As a veteran and now a spouse I find it difficult to take spouses serious when the want to wear the SMs rank. I earned mine.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Feb 3 at 2017 9:37 PM

SN Greg Wright — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 21:37:50 -0500

Totally contrived.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 10:27 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 22:27:59 -0500

Whoa!!! Her CIB!?!?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 11:20 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 23:20:56 -0500

Is this really what this site has become? I am a private who was
Yelled at by my drill sergeant! My wife is divorcing me we have known each together 3 months. WTF is this Rallypoint shit about? Oh my PSG yelled at me cause i am fucking retard i have some butt hurt! WTF is this shit?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2017 11:57 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 23:57:35 -0500

Good to see this conversation is still rolling.

Response by Iona Kranz made Feb 4 at 2017 12:50 AM

Iona Kranz — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 00:50:42 -0500

I am a true outsider. Having worked as a civilian in my younger years for the US Navy, my heart is bonded in understanding the military ways of life. But a quick head's up to all the women...whether in the military or out of the military, in business offices, in a McDonald's workng, there will always be a pecking order wherever you live or work. You never get away from it. The young women think they no more then the older women and are eager to move up, and have an underlying attitude as they held with their mothers. When they get older, the younger women do the same to them. In offices there's always an alpha dog who stops at a new girl's desk to make sure she knows who she is and after sizing the girl up may feel the need to leave a lasting impression so the alpha will pee on her desk to leave her mark. We all are rittled with flaws. If someone demands recognition, they lack confidence in themselves and feel She has fallen short perhaps. Maybe even sense your attitude towards them. We women must not take things personally. Nothing new under the sun.

Response by MSG Jay Jackson made Feb 4 at 2017 2:22 AM

MSG Jay Jackson — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 02:22:58 -0500

PSA to all wives! Rank, awards other DOD badges cannot be transferred by means of vaginal methods. You want them enlist and earn them you self! That is all!

Response by SFC Travis Wood made Feb 4 at 2017 4:14 AM

SFC Travis Wood — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 04:14:31 -0500

This isn't new, and it happens at all levels. I once had a Major's wife try to cut the line at the PX, because "my husband is THE MAJ and I'm in a hurrry" I kindly reminded her that UNIFORMED service MEMBERS have priority, not their spouses and directed her to the end of a very long line. That was in 99...

Response by LCDR Anthony Montague made Feb 4 at 2017 7:30 AM

LCDR Anthony Montague — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 07:30:17 -0500

Regardless of how much your precious little feelings are hurt, unless you have actively served and placed your own life on the line, you do not deserve ANYTHING except the basic respect due to other humans. Military courtesy is reserved for (duh) those in the military. Yes, we do try to treat military spouses with some additional respect and courtesy in recognition of the difficulties and sacrifices made by them in their support of their spouse. This does NOT mean that they are (or ever will be) viewed as actual service members or that they are "automatically entitled " to the same courtesies extended to members

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 7:43 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 07:43:44 -0500

Soldiers engagement in the whole Dependa thing should be limited to engaging their spouses about keeping their mouths shut. There are enough politics and drama with the troops with out their significant others spreading more of it around, but if they do, don't bring it to the unit. FFS, don't we have enough to do?

Response by SrA Petula Buschert made Feb 4 at 2017 9:11 AM

SrA Petula Buschert — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 09:11:43 -0500

If you want the respect, swear the oath, go to BMT, wear the uniform, and be willing to die for the right to do so!--Proud to be a female Cold War Vet

Response by SSG Jeremy Sharp made Feb 4 at 2017 9:31 AM

SSG Jeremy Sharp — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 09:31:39 -0500

There is no doubt that family members deserve recognition for the support they gave their service member while deployed but earning the respect of equivalent rank, not even close and forget earning the right to be recognized for CIB, that is downright delusional. If they never took care of troops they have no clue what being an NCO is about or entails. There is a big difference between ironing a uniform and wearing it. I appreciate that some think that their contribution to the soldiers career is substantial but it is not equivalent!

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 9:50 AM

CPL Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 09:50:09 -0500

Response by SGT Montana Crawford made Feb 4 at 2017 10:14 AM

SGT Montana Crawford — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:14:52 -0500

Eh, she probably slept around.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 10:15 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:15:02 -0500

Is this real?

Response by SSgt Krystal Street made Feb 4 at 2017 10:30 AM

SSgt Krystal Street — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:30:59 -0500

She's crazy and needs to have her head examined.

Response by TSgt Julie Miller made Feb 4 at 2017 10:34 AM

TSgt Julie Miller — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:34:11 -0500

I almost started laughing.... Where do they get these ideas? I remember years ago shopping at the commissary at Ellsworth AFB, SD. A woman was standing in line demanding she be allowed to go to the head of the line because we should all know that her husband was the Colonel. Then her husband the Colonel stepped up and quietly told her to never use his rank and position like that ever again. My husband is an accountant and an Enrolled Agent. I am his wife, retired TSgt... he served then got out and I stayed in. We respect each others roles and positions and have never once tried to use either to our advantage, to us, that's disrespectful. To these young women, No, you are NOT the NCO, or Officer, you are the spouse, behave with respect, and you'll be surprised by the true respect you will earn.

Response by SPC Sarah French made Feb 4 at 2017 10:37 AM

SPC Sarah French — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:37:30 -0500

I can not even begin to understand this point of view. It's ridiculous.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 11:11 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:11:15 -0500

I have to say those types of spouses I do not like and I have seen them on both sides of the fence (military and civilian life). However being married I know my wife has a hard time with me leaving when I get put on orders or end up someplace for an extended time. I know it's not easy being a married service member and I know it's hard for the families we leave behind.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 11:11 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:11:34 -0500

Response by SPC Kc Beck made Feb 4 at 2017 11:42 AM

SPC Kc Beck — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:42:47 -0500

I wrote a ticket to a woman doing 88 in a 70 who was out cheating on her husband with Jodi, needless to say I was not upset at all, she and Jodi can pay for it.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Feb 4 at 2017 11:50 AM

SGM Erik Marquez — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:50:46 -0500

Id guess that FB post is fake, written to pull someone's chain...Seeing as I've seen those same words on supposed FB post, forum posts, and letters to the editor for years now.

That said, sure, some spouses will attempt to use/assume the rank or position of their Soldier .. We see it in spouse that's wants the same priority given their Soldier, the same courtesy given in line, the same personal interaction...... Its not all that common, but gets lots of negative attention when it happens. Like the well known incidents of a commander's wife that abused her Husband's position of authority

Response by Stephannie Hedges made Feb 4 at 2017 12:11 PM

Stephannie Hedges — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:11:01 -0500

My spouse served 27 years, both of my son's are serving, I'm a DA civilian, but I've never considered my "rank" to be anything other than U.S. Citizen who is sincerely grateful for those who serve.

The spouses who insist on wearing their service member's rank are contemptible.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 12:11 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:11:50 -0500

This can't be real

Response by SFC Mark Buus made Feb 4 at 2017 12:25 PM

SFC Mark Buus — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:25:35 -0500

More and more? This shit has been going on since the first monkey picked up a rock and threw it at another monkey from the other aide of the forest.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Feb 4 at 2017 12:36 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:36:59 -0500

It's obvious that spouses don't have military rank, awards, or decorations unless they have earned them independent of their marital status. To call the sample post BS would be an insult to bulls everywhere.

Spouses do a lot to keep the home front going while their military spouse serves the Country. Additionally, many are employed outside the home. Certainly running after a couple of "rug rats", keeping up with scores of appointments from doctor exams to play dates, while holding down a 30-to-40 hour a week job is no party, but it's what the spouse signed on for when they married a military member. If spouses are trying to identify with their spouses' rank or awards, then they need some "education" from their service member. It appears they may be struggling for a meaningful identity. Probably because they were raised in a liberal society that discounts the value of traditional families or fails to call a woman a success if she runs a home and raises children to be productive law-abiding citizens.

Response by MSgt Joseph Haynes made Feb 4 at 2017 12:43 PM

MSgt Joseph Haynes — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:43:05 -0500

I spent 20yrs ADAF, 19 of those were with my wife. Even when I joined the SrNCO tier my spouse never, EVER, tries assuming my rank and never tried forcing any respect because of it. My airmen and peers respected her because they respected me, not simply because of my rank but because I treated them and their spouses with respect. A CIB isn't earned for the spouse, we all know this. My wife didn't earn my rank, but I had her tack on my stripe at every promotion ceremony. Yes, spouses play a vital part in the individual success, or failure, for every As MBR who is married. Expecting, or demanding, certain privileges and courtesies because of your spouse is ludicrous. If that's what they're after, then toughen up and join up.

Response by SPC Rick LaBonte made Feb 4 at 2017 1:00 PM

SPC Rick LaBonte — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 13:00:13 -0500

A service spouse deserves respect. He/she sacrificed by putting up with military life. Still, I can't stand the ones that get smug with ranks lower than their spouse and use their spouse's position as leverage

Response by Abby Barnes made Feb 4 at 2017 1:06 PM

Abby Barnes — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 13:06:10 -0500

As a spouse I can't not stand seeing posts like this! I support my husband in his career choice but his rank, awards, and deployment achievements are his and his ALONE. As a mother I take care of OUR children, I have a work at home career that travels with us and gives me the opprotunity to still be home for our children. These women need to find their own identity. Is being a spouse to a service member hard? Yes but its no where near as hard as being the service member! Be grateful for what you have ladies and find a life beyond your husbands service. Enjoy the days you have them home and keep yourself busy and productive for your families while he's gone. Stop living vicariously through him, demanding respect for thing you don't earn, and acting entitled when your not snowflake! To all the military spouses out there who don't deserve this "dependa" stamp remember these crazy women don't speak for us. Keep on holding it down for your husbands we are the silent majority of the military wife community. Stay classy ☺️

Response by MSgt Rob Weston made Feb 4 at 2017 1:19 PM

MSgt Rob Weston — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 13:19:52 -0500

Response by SGT Roger Zevehc made Feb 4 at 2017 1:31 PM

SGT Roger Zevehc — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 13:31:00 -0500

Sorry civilian you didnt earn shit. I didnt see my wife out at basic with me, i didnt see my wife do 25 mile road marches in Hawaii and i sure didnt see her in iraq in any firefight. Youre a civilain thats all you are, thats all youll ever be. Want rank? Enlist. Want a CIB? Get your ass deployed and kill your enemy. Plaim and simple. I despise mosy civilians but spouses let their spouses rank go to their heads.

Response by SrA Helen Pitts made Feb 4 at 2017 2:28 PM

SrA Helen Pitts — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:28:42 -0500

You will be respected as a vet when you are a vet, and get out of that uniform!

Response by PO3 German Corea made Feb 4 at 2017 2:54 PM

PO3 German Corea — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:54:07 -0500

Put them through boot camp if they really want to earn the respect

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 3:19 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 15:19:20 -0500

I am prior military and my husband is still in. When we go to his unit events I take the role of the wife and stand back. Most people in his uninterested don't even know that I was in the military. Either way, I support him in everything he does and his accomplishments are his and his alone. I have ran into a few other women at his events that were demeaning towards me because their husbands rank were higher then my husbands, but honestly, they are not their husbands and should be his support and just be satisfied that they get the extra BAH. Lol

Response by Angela Woody made Feb 4 at 2017 3:33 PM

Angela Woody — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 15:33:50 -0500

Women spend too much time watching Army Wives.
I was fortunate to be raised by a woman who knew that she was a military spouse and not entitled to squat.
Women that wear their husbands rank is appalling.

Response by SFC Paul Ranges made Feb 4 at 2017 3:37 PM

SFC Paul Ranges — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 15:37:32 -0500

Recalling a Reader's Digest Humor in Uniform story of a wife trying to jump the line at the Commissary checkout. Went something like, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Colonel Soandso's wife and I have to get to an Officers' Wives Club meeting with the General's wife!" Turned out Mrs. General was waiting somewhere in line behind her. Oops! No excuse for such behavior.

Response by PFC Gregory Wright made Feb 4 at 2017 4:44 PM

PFC Gregory Wright — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 16:44:39 -0500

If you didn't serve you get nothing plain in simple, unless written into a regulation or policy or law that's that. You don't like it tough shit, just charlie Mike that shit to you couch and eat some bon bons

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 5:05 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 17:05:32 -0500

I would tell dependa to eat shit

Response by MAJ R. Andrew Hoskinson made Feb 4 at 2017 5:12 PM

MAJ R. Andrew Hoskinson — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 17:12:38 -0500

Wow...just - wow.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 5:50 PM

A1C Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 17:50:32 -0500

Spouses are spouses unless they served as well they gave no rank. They're just civi's

Response by Cpl Quentin Abernethy made Feb 4 at 2017 7:10 PM

Cpl Quentin Abernethy — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 19:10:28 -0500

Service members spouses are just that, spouses. Unless they are military too, then they are living in some alter reality, other than you and I. She should take pride in the fact that her SM earned his CIB, other than that she don't rate nothin'. Typical dependapotomus, my spouse is NCO, so we are NCO. I don't want to sound like that guy who is putting her down and all, but I am. She don't rate. And she sure as hell ain't no better than any other wife on base. She ain't got no CIB, so you push for all the other SM families that you disrespected.
OIF Marine Veteran.

Response by PVT Jason Kratzer made Feb 4 at 2017 8:09 PM

PVT Jason Kratzer — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 20:09:04 -0500

Super dependa! Over 9000 give me a damn break. My woman whom is a vet said she couldn't finish reading it because her eyes were rolling so far back in her head lol

Response by PVT Teena Green made Feb 4 at 2017 8:51 PM

PVT Teena Green — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 20:51:27 -0500

I have been with a civilian co. For 10 years. 4 years ago a lady started working in our department. She's very proud of her husband who is retired AF. Speaks of his deployments and her struggles during those times often. This is the first time she's ever had a job. She does well for the most part and is respected for her contributions at work. However is does tend to be condescending ,and a rad bit arrogant to lowly civies. Recently the co. Gave a us new name badges and those with prior service and no dishonorable discharge now have a small US flag and the branch we served in beside it. It's very small. When she saw mine and saw that it had the flag and Army beside it, she said she felt she also should have one that had Air Force because she deserved it for serving along side her husband during his military career. I asked her if they gave out DD214's for that now and she clammed up. I ignore her bs. I know it eats her up every time she sees my name badge. I've met her husband. He's a nice guy, quite, humble, and never condescending. I don't think he knows how she acts at work. Pretty sure he would be deeply embarrassed. I'll never tell him. I carry on.

Response by MAJ Luca Luca made Feb 4 at 2017 8:52 PM

MAJ Luca Luca — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 20:52:21 -0500

Rank and station have always had long coattails.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 9:00 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 21:00:28 -0500

If you did not sign on the dotted line, and take the oath...go through basic training, be told that you are lower than whale shit, get gassed, shot at, do push ups because some dumb asses family sent them candy bars in a box to eat at basic....yes someone in my basic training group received a box of candy bars and we all did push ups for it....You are not a Veteran.

I do not mean to diminish a spouse's role; that spouse spends a lot of lonely nights by themselves, are expected to keep the home fires burning and such. But I'm sorry, you do not need to be wearing rank, nor calling yourself a Veteran if you have not taken an oath and signed on the dotted line.

Veterans earned it by being shot at and gassed and for especially those who earned their CIB went through some nastiness that most people could not fathom.

Response by PFC Scott O'Connor made Feb 4 at 2017 9:17 PM

PFC Scott O'Connor — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 21:17:46 -0500

Well, while not denigrating their struggles while the person was deployed, I'm sure it didn't equate to combat. Her husband should probably have a "recalibrating" conversation about this and get her to understand the difference.

I am speaking as a POG, who was in 87-89 (MED ETS), for full disclosure.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 9:29 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 21:29:55 -0500

Wut in tarnation

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Feb 4 at 2017 9:47 PM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 21:47:36 -0500

I've seen, heard and met a fair share of
"Dependapotamuses...". I've found the plain Jane types of dependents to be "more real". Down to earth type people.. better to deal with !... on Sundays, our Base Command Cmsgt would bring his family in
For breakfast and mingle with the Airmen.
His wife was pretty in her own way and didn't need "warpaint". Very down to
Earth.. They had 6, 2 away to college, 1 in
The AF and 3 at home.. I seen her at exchange or commissary, occasionally..
one day she was speaking with another
Dependsnt spouse , she seen me and asked me to join them, she introduced me and I said hello .. i'd like to stay and talk, I've got to get these ration reports in, our fax is down.. as I was leaving the other spouse made a snide remark about mingling with
The Jr. Ranks.. I was a SSgt. .. what's her prob? Just cause I didn't have at least 6 or more.. The base cmnd CMSgt's spouse set that other woman straight..,

Response by LCpl Ryan Eggers made Feb 4 at 2017 10:05 PM

LCpl Ryan Eggers — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:05:13 -0500

Nope, rank is amongst service members only. Spouses need to can their pretentiousness because you aren't nothing but a spouse.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2017 10:20 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:20:26 -0500

What kind of horseshit is this bitch talking about ? She wants a cib ? Send her to combat.

Response by SGT Andrew Romine made Feb 4 at 2017 11:04 PM

SGT Andrew Romine — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 23:04:47 -0500

Military wife saying this ?? really ??? Only thing i can see that would matter is the Commanders wife like BN level or BDE level, as far as family support or what not. Now granted when a military spouce called the commander with an issue, shit got fixed alot quicker than if the SM made a complaint, Ive seen a unit get pulled out of the field cause a wife called the COC. Her husband's unit had been in the field for 90 days with one day in the rear then back out for 30 days again at time as a form of punishment from the CO. A wife called the COL and then Base command and they were pulled back that day.

Response by SN Pk Radford made Feb 4 at 2017 11:08 PM

SN Pk Radford — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 23:08:56 -0500

As both a veteran and a spouse it used to kill me when I would see such things and I tend to be vocal about such behavior, especially since I wore a uniform at one time. It is a complete and udder slap in the face both to servicemen berserk and other spouses!

Response by Cpl Wes Kelley made Feb 4 at 2017 11:45 PM

Cpl Wes Kelley — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 23:45:45 -0500

Lmao really he earned it for both of y'all!!! You on fuckin crack you dumb summa bitch

Response by CDR Joel Paine made Feb 5 at 2017 12:41 AM

CDR Joel Paine — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 00:41:43 -0500

I'll repost this here, as the topic keeps coming up. The best answer to a dependent's sense of entitlement based on the spouse's rank (or awards or status) was nailed in the Navbase Ventura County paper, in a column called, "Ask the CO" back in 2009. Here is the question and the CO's response:

Ask the Captain!
By Capt. Brad Conners
NBVC commanding officer

Question:

What is the deal with the gate guards not surrendering salutes to officer’s vehicles? I don’t think an admiral’s wife or your wife would appreciate that either. We’ve worked hard to get here and should be recognized. They learned to recognize your vehicles. On every base I’ve been on they have a sign WE RENDER SALUTES PROUDLY. Here they work on trying not to salute the vehicle if the active duty member is not present. Isn’t it by UCMJ code they are supposed to render a salute to an officer? The vehicle has a sticker so why do they not (salute) whether or not the active duty member is present or not? Fill me in!! DO THEY NOT TRAIN THESE PEOPLE ANY MORE?? If not, I see more and more laxness going on in this military. A CWO wife.

Answer:

Wow. That’s quite a sense of entitlement you have. Are you sure a salute is sufficient? Perhaps a curtsy or a genuflect would be more appropriate? We could have one sentry prostrate himself before you while the other fetches some oats for that high horse you’re riding.

First, the irony of addressing what you perceive to be an issue of respect in such a disrespectful tone is not lost. Secondly, since you specifically brought her into the dialogue, my wife thinks your question indicates a regrettably narrow perspective. Third, yes, we have training which encompasses many things for which a post sentry is responsible and accountable, primarily focused on force protection, anti-terrorism, law enforcement, defense of critical assets and infrastructure, and the use of lethal force. But thanks for asking. Fourth, if you consider standing a post 65-70 hours a week as “laxness,” then I invite you to put on your winter coat and go stand on the asphalt in front of your house for four hours holding your vacuum cleaner when the temperature reaches 85 degrees. That will give you some very small sense of what it is like to man a post, without of course the lethal responsibility.

Salutes are a custom between military members dating back as far as Roman times when soldiers approached each other in a manner to indicate they were not armed. The custom evolved over many centuries in many militaries, but it has always been a custom exclusively between military members. It is also important to understand that the salute is a custom of mutual respect, not subservience. That is why both members salute. It is customary (and required under Navy regulations) for the junior to render (not “surrender”) the salute first, but the senior member must return the salute promptly and in the same manner. This tangibly expresses the reciprocal respect among military members. NBVC sentries will render salutes to properly identified officers, active or retired, immediately upon identification. The salute was never intended as recognition of, or as a reward for, your “hard work to get here.” While I certainly value that hard work and your support of your husband’s military career, along with the sacrifice it entails, you ma’am are compensated in other ways for those achievements and accomplishments.

You rate many things other than a salute as a dedicated Navy wife, our gratitude, appreciation, and respect among them. I sincerely hope, expect, and require that you are always treated courteously and professionally on our bases. I would ask that you give the sentries their due as well rather than leaping to the most cynical of all conclusions when our execution is imperfect.

Response by SSgt Nicholas Merchant made Feb 5 at 2017 4:36 AM

SSgt Nicholas Merchant — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 04:36:04 -0500

Look I was single and married while in, and no point would my wife ever have had the gull to say she earned anything off my back, especially in front of me. Now I don't say this because I was abusive or controlling nor do I say this because she didn't sacrifice or that I wouldn't have recognized her fight. I say this because I would have reminded her that until she was next to me in combat my accolades were not hers.

With all that being said, military wives do and sacrifice a ton but in different ways. This does not however mean that a military spouse ever gets to pull rank or recieve recognition for what their military spouse has earned and accomplished. This woman is delusional if she thinks her husbands rsnk snd accomplishments somehow entitle her to the same.

I'm a huge supporter of crediting spouses for their struggles and accolades, while sacrificing to support their service member partner, I just dont see it like this.

Response by SFC Richard Davidson made Feb 5 at 2017 8:40 AM

SFC Richard Davidson — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 08:40:34 -0500

Bwahahaha

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 8:54 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 08:54:18 -0500

I think this is an issue not with just the dependapotimus, but also the Soldier. I am a SSG getting ready to hit 12 years and I had this talk with my wife a long time ago. She understands that my rank, which is only relevant in the military is not her rank, and that she does not out rank anyone associated with the military. When I see a dependent acting like they are an NCO or deserve a salute I look at the SM first, come on educate your spouse before they look confused (putting it nicely) don't let her embarrass themselves

Response by SGT Matt Nun made Feb 5 at 2017 9:57 AM

SGT Matt Nun — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 09:57:13 -0500

Prime example of why strippers are for bedding, not wedding

Response by PO3 Dennis Kordes made Feb 5 at 2017 9:57 AM

PO3 Dennis Kordes — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 09:57:46 -0500

I'd say this young woman is having an interpersonal issue with other wives. I would bet she would have the same issues if her husband had stayed civilian. I'm no psychologist but I can spot a drama chick a mile away.

Response by 1SG Billye Jackson made Feb 5 at 2017 10:39 AM

1SG Billye Jackson — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 10:39:24 -0500

My Wife of 45 Years spent 18 of my 23 years in the Army By my Side, in all those Years I never heard her say We are in the Army but My Husband is in the Army. On a Number she Told Me " Your in the Army Not me. Having said that she was a Great First Sargent's Wife. Back in the Day ,don't know if it's still Used today, we had a thing called Chain of Concern for Unit Family Members. It was used for when we were Down Range. It went along with the Alert Roster, and was used for Spouses to have a Point of Contact if anything went wrong while Troopers were Gone. My Wife was Knowledgeable of all resources avable to Troops and Family Members Knew she was Avable to help in any way she Could, I never had a call for the Rear that a Wife had a Problem. In my first Unit as a First Sargent one of my Troops once called her Mrs. First Sargent, it caught on like wild Fire. She Hated it and asked me to inform me to Point out that I was in the Army Not Her. She Thought as Much about My Troopers and their Families as I Did.

Response by SPC Ron Schoonover made Feb 5 at 2017 10:42 AM

SPC Ron Schoonover — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 10:42:34 -0500

Now that is a special kind of stupid right there.

Response by Von Gagas made Feb 5 at 2017 11:16 AM

Von Gagas — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 11:16:54 -0500

As a spouse this angers me. My husband earned his title as well as his ranks. They are his accomplishments not mine. Our jobs as spouses is to encourage them, support them, pray for them, and love them. This woman needs to be educated and she should realize she looks like a fool.

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 11:47 AM

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 11:47:15 -0500

Lol wut

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 1:10 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 13:10:02 -0500

Years ago I was a Specialist Five stationed at Fort Gordon. Issues in the Officer and NCO wives clubs had gotten so bad that agencies all over post were having issues. The chief of staff decided to address the situation and i had a chance to witness his genius. He called a meeting of all the leaders of all the associations at the post theater. Arriving on stage he asked that the ladies arrange themselves by rank, date of rank where applicable. The rank conscious wives looked smuggly at their perceived "lessers"... After five minutes of chaos he loudly called the room to order and told them to just sit wbere they were. He then said to the confused women "ladies, the rank is your husband, not yours. If I get another complaint I'll disband every one of your organizations and shutter the clubs. Thank you for your time".

The story is that the CG/CSM got no end of grief over it from the "officers ladies " husband and senior NCOs but he told then where to get off and supported the CoS by suggesting that the officers rein their wives in.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 1:49 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 13:49:29 -0500

Although only a small minority of military spouses act according to the "dependa" stereotype, I'm still glad that my wife and I have our own independent ranks, as then there's no reason at all to borrow a spouse's title. She gets further being known as an E-6 than as the wife of an O-4. We also mostly avoid each other's commands, which helps alleviate any lingering issues.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 2:15 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 14:15:15 -0500

She has lost her Mind

Response by TSgt Karima Turner made Feb 5 at 2017 2:38 PM

TSgt Karima Turner — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 14:38:09 -0500

You've got to be fucking kidding me. If you didn't wear the boots and earn the rank FIRST-HAND then STFU. Yes spouses being supportive is incredibly important but when it comes to this I have no patience, you are not entitled to anything as far as being "considered a Vet or NCO" because YOU ARE NOT, you did not enlist, if you wish to have the title of Vet or NCO then go enlist, go through basic and earn your rank, otherwise, NO, I will not treat you as such and if you come at me with an entitled attitude, guess what, I earned my own rank and won't play those games.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 3:22 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 15:22:02 -0500

well shit, when did they start issuing out wives at CIF?

Response by SSgt Stephen Mills made Feb 5 at 2017 4:24 PM

SSgt Stephen Mills — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 16:24:44 -0500

Response by MSG Robert Greco made Feb 5 at 2017 4:33 PM

MSG Robert Greco — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 16:33:14 -0500

I believe the service member will have zero problem being granted his Divorce, even faster once his mentally ill spouse is committed for the insane.

Response by SSG Luis Feliciano made Feb 5 at 2017 5:10 PM

SSG Luis Feliciano — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 17:10:09 -0500

Just like I've seen spouses of Senior military members acting as if they are entitled to things just because their military significant other wears the rank. All I can say is... Fuck off!

Response by SPC Dakota Stafford made Feb 5 at 2017 5:30 PM

SPC Dakota Stafford — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 17:30:51 -0500

Response by PO2 John Frost made Feb 5 at 2017 5:59 PM

PO2 John Frost — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 17:59:55 -0500

When I was a Base police officer for the USCG, more than once I pulled over a CPO, a SCPO or MCPOs wife and the first thing out their mouth was "I am so and so's wife!" My response was that's nice and here's your ticket. Stop wearing your spouses rank, I don't care.
Spouses do a lot when spouses are deployed.. but they have not earned any of the battle scars, deployments, badges, medals or ribbons ribbons of their spouse. They need to stop acting like they earned something that have not.

Response by SGT Joshua Minchew made Feb 5 at 2017 6:08 PM

SGT Joshua Minchew — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 18:08:13 -0500

Hahah this is great, I want to ask her what weapon she used lol....

Response by SPC Anthony Weisenberger made Feb 5 at 2017 6:14 PM

SPC Anthony Weisenberger — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 18:14:19 -0500

I think she's an entitled bitch who should shut her fucking mouth.

Response by Amber Stankich made Feb 5 at 2017 7:44 PM

Amber Stankich — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 19:44:57 -0500

When I was 17 I was dating a man named Thomas Wolfe. And during that time I bought a cute little airsoft navy camo jacket and I had a Velcro sticker that said "Wolfe's Girlfriend" and I, guess mistakingly took a profile picture while also wearing his dress white hat while wearing the jacket. Since then my face is plastered amongst many military groups. One being rally point. I never claimed to equal to a military member or say I am part of them. Or what you guys are saying. I just showing support for an at the time boyfriend.

Response by LT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 9:37 PM

LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 21:37:22 -0500

Ha, hahahaha, haha, ha, hahahaha!

Response by PO2 Danetta Troisi made Feb 5 at 2017 9:59 PM

PO2 Danetta Troisi — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 21:59:20 -0500

As a veteran, the spouse of a veteran and the daughter of a retired veteran and his spouse, they don't have the right to assume the SM's rank or awards. As a spouse we do put in a lot of work, but it is not the same. My parents were married for 27 years. My mother supported my father in his career. We traveled with him when we could. With all she dealt with sueing theie marriage, my mother never once claimed my father's rank or awards. She was a true supportive military spouse. You want rank or awards do like I did and enlist.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2017 10:59 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 22:59:29 -0500

Ummm yeah.... no spouses don't get your rank or awards. They get our love and our drive to get home to them. Unless they want to 20 hour days in an austere environment and all the other BS we do. They have it hard when we are gone but the alsodont face the gun fire, IEDs, and other fun stuff we do. Yeah tricare reps suck got it and we still call them from the box to help outback home when we can. We should be thankful but I'm my wife wears her own rank. She is the commander of this house but that's it. Some spouses do more harm than good trying to wear the rank of their spouses when they haven't earned it. It would be like me going to ny wife's job and acting like I run that place. Lol. That wouldn't end well.

Response by SFC Zachary Palacios made Feb 5 at 2017 11:09 PM

SFC Zachary Palacios — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 23:09:07 -0500

Is this real?

Response by SPC Scott Garrett made Feb 5 at 2017 11:16 PM

SPC Scott Garrett — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 23:16:01 -0500

What the f*ck did I just read?

Response by SFC Zachary Palacios made Feb 5 at 2017 11:21 PM

SFC Zachary Palacios — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 23:21:09 -0500

There is no doubt in my retired military mind that spouses, women and men alike, have a tough job while their husband and or wife is deployed. I am also a firm believer that your spouse is the backbone of your family (spouses of SM's). However, even though you may have put in work to support your spouse does not give you the same authority, recognition, or achievement as your spouse (SM).... many times when i have been witnessed to "my husband is a SGT, you have to respect me!".... then they crawl back into their little hole when I get a hold of their spouse and relearn this NCO (relearn is a sarcastic term for all confused.... usually NCO's get it.. sorry officers!!! Unless you had a great NCO to teach you the sarcasm and slang). His wife had the audacity to say that I couldn't speak to her husband like that, then I really lit him up In Front of his wife... Needless to say that his wife got a real life lesson that her husband was not in charge of anything but running his mouth (at the time) and he had to explain to her that I outranked him and she is not an NCO and does not have any authority with anyone.... just so you all know that this SGT was my neighbor (living off post) and his PSG was one of my buddies....

Response by LTC Stephen C. made Feb 5 at 2017 11:36 PM

LTC Stephen C. — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 23:36:19 -0500

SSG Private RallyPoint Member, when I was growing up, we moved to Jacksonville, FL, just a few miles north of NAS Jax. My mother was invited to tea since she was new to the neighborhood. The hostess' husband was in the Navy, and she introduced herself as Mrs. Captain XXXXXX.
She never went back. She didn't care in the least. No one should care. GySgt Melissa Gravila

Response by SPC Kristina Robinson made Feb 5 at 2017 11:56 PM

SPC Kristina Robinson — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 23:56:43 -0500

UMMM NO B*****, some of us females actually earned Vet status by being in and deploying, want to be treated like a VET...sign in the dotted line and serve your country. Many spouses sacrifice but are atill not vets..Sorry not sorry

Response by PO1 Alden Weiss made Feb 6 at 2017 2:18 AM

PO1 Alden Weiss — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 02:18:19 -0500

She received all of the benefits while not doing anything to earn those benefits.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2017 3:56 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 03:56:08 -0500

I've been on both sides of the fence. I was married to a marine 06 to 09 it sucked. I shortly enlisted after our divorce. What sucked more is being gone for deaths, births, birthdays and holidays.

Response by PO3 Courtney Ervin made Feb 6 at 2017 6:56 AM

PO3 Courtney Ervin — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 06:56:02 -0500

This is a subject that could ruffle feathers but as a twice wounded vet I do not care so here we go. I want to start off by saying yeah wives have a hard job when I got out my now ex husband remained active for a while and yes it can be a struggle. However at no point and time does a wife need to think that she deserves the rank of her husband or boyfriend and or entitlement. I am sorry but not sorry. I must have missed the part where you earned that rank with your blood sweat and tears. Literally on the tears, sweat and blood. We have enough people that tear us service members down for what we do and who we are so why not let us just keep one thing for ourselves that we don't have to share. I am a combat wounded veteran as I said and I never even tell people that don't know already that I am a vet. I know what I did I know how hard I worked. I loved my job and I would do it all over again. My reward was my sense of pride. If I don't even use my veteran status or expect anything from it then why in the he!! do you expect something above and equal to me for just being married to someone. Ladies do for your husbands and for your families because that's your job. Be the best at it that you can be and if you ever think you deserve the rank or a title then it's super easy. Get up get in shape go to a recruiter and make the same sacrifice sign that check payable with your life and lets see how much you want people to take what you have earned. I feel as if this is complete garbage stop living off of others and succeed on your own.

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Feb 6 at 2017 7:52 AM

GySgt Kenneth Pepper — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 07:52:29 -0500

Did she just use the term POG in reference to other military spouses?
I just hope her mouth and her delusions of grandeur don't eventually have a negative impact on her sponsor's career. There may be folks at command level that would not be amused by these remarks.

Response by MSgt Michael Vassallo made Feb 6 at 2017 9:25 AM

MSgt Michael Vassallo — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 09:25:04 -0500

Unless the spouse served they are not veterans. Certainly did not earn a CIB, Combat Crew or any other military award. I remember an Army LtGen speaking before the Officers Wives Club letting them know in simple language they do not carry the spouses rank. In fact they are lower then the youngest E-1 or DOD civilian on the post. Don't expect anything special because of who your spouse is.

Response by SSG Charlie Beebe made Feb 6 at 2017 10:45 AM

SSG Charlie Beebe — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 10:45:56 -0500

A spouses rank does not equal that of a servicemember's. Yes they sacrificed and struggled, but at home with family anf friend support

Response by SSG Amber Soward made Feb 6 at 2017 10:52 AM

SSG Amber Soward — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 10:52:43 -0500

The only way she should get any type of recognition outside of the house and family (and any community events she was/is apart of), is if she actually served in the military and then her opinion would be different. She's definitely showing signs of eventually causing problems for her husband. His blood, sweat, and tears earned the CIB; she didn't do shit to earn it. Stop whining and if that badge is important to her, the Army has openings in the Infantry for her.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2017 11:44 AM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 11:44:04 -0500

Here's a solution to your unearned entitlement lady.. join the military, become an 11B (since that's the only way you can get a CIB), work your ass off to become an NCO, and maybe get your CIB if it's been authorized... shaking my head...

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2017 12:26 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:26:14 -0500

I understand that it's not easy being a spouse to someone who's in the military and deployed. However that gives them no right or privilege to be treated as if they're in the military themselves. They didn't earn that kind of respect just because they married a service member. And that dependapotamus needs to stop using our lingo. I'm both 11B and 91L, so infantry and POG, that shit ain't right. Guaranteed she would've gotten someone killed it she were to have to really earn a CIB.

Response by SPC Marcell Gill made Feb 6 at 2017 12:29 PM

SPC Marcell Gill — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:29:19 -0500

She wants to treated like a vet (civilian vet I guess, which includes everyone non military)....but I would like for her to shut the fuck up. Lol serve if you want to be treated as such. End of story.

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Feb 6 at 2017 12:30 PM

SFC Jim Ruether — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:30:35 -0500

While I am respectful of spouses who have supported their husbands and wives throughout their military careers I think it is presumptuous of these spouses to claim they earned every medal or ribbon their spouses earned. When I was in that fox-hole swatting mosquitoes as large as hummingbirds she wasn't there with me. She was watching our kids in an air conditioned home with groceries and a nice shower down the hallway. In that instance she didn't earn much more than my respect which I will gladly give her for all that she has done. She didn't earn a single medal that I did and the day she starts telling people she deserves those is the day she gets a counseling session from me and if that isn't enough then she will be a transferred to another unit.

Response by Sgt Bob Leonard made Feb 6 at 2017 12:45 PM

Sgt Bob Leonard — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:45:05 -0500

I suspect the answers to your question are as varied as the circumstances of the Military Member and the Spouse. I have no personal experience, but I'll share what I've observed.

It was my privilege to know a Retired Sr. Chief Petty Officer and his wife. The two of us together were like... There's no example I can think of. Politically we were so far apart as to not even be able to see each other over the horizon that separated us. He was Career Navy, I was a one-hitch Airman. What brought us together was our common Savior, Jesus Christ, and our fellowship with and through Him was a greater bond than any politics could break.

That said, what I heard and saw in the five or six years I knew them intimately gave me a HUGE appreciation for the wives of AD Members and the contribution they make to to this Country.

Briefly, they had three active, rambunctious boys. BIG boys! Boys that, by my casual calculations based on the stories I was told and o'heard, were all conceived during the brief gaps in deployments and cruises he had, when he was home, and raised by her during the long, sometimes extended periods of time when he was NOT home.

Essentially, she had to deal with the shenanigans, pranks, school problems, fights, and sometimes cruel tricks these three boys would play on anyone and everyone, including her, during the months and years that her husband/their father would spend on duty. She had to be Mother and Father to them. Alone, she had to stand up for her boys to Teachers and Principals and neighbors and the world, and, at the same time, stand up TO THEM as they pushed the boundaries and tested the waters while they grew up.

Yet, in spite of all that, SHE did a good job of turning out three outstanding young men. And she had to deal with the untimely deaths of two of them. One died while on AD, the second one died as the result of injuries suffered while on AD. I can't imagine the pain she still lives with because of that.

(The third son is retired USAF/Intel. married to a Marine, herself an Intel. Analyst(? I think). I really don't know details because, "if I told you, I'd have to kill you".)

This woman, this wife, this mother, has earned, four times over, more gratitude and honor from all of us than I believe we can give. Certainly more than she's received. She now lives in a small, inexpensive apartment somewhere in Southwest America. She lives alone, with her surviving son and DIL checking on her as needed.

She's given four lives to this Country - her own, her husband's, and two sons - and in my estimation she (and the countless others like her) is entitled to any and all the respect and honor we have to give. Not because of the rank or accomplishments of their spouses, but because of their own commitment, sacrifices, and accomplishments.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2017 12:51 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:51:13 -0500

Spouses of SM's who are deserving of respect never demand it from others, in my experience. The spouses who demand respect from SM's usually are dependapatumus's and I would let them know in a very by the book tactful manner of my opinion of them as such.

Response by SGT Travis Watkins made Feb 6 at 2017 3:18 PM

SGT Travis Watkins — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 15:18:10 -0500

Her post gave me a head ache. I remember my wife coming home from a few of those spouse get togethers, talking about wife's who thought they had the same rank as their spouse, and then being shit talked after they left, and met a few like that over the years, but I NEVER heard one try to claim "rewards by association". Does that mean if you kick ass at the range, your nonshooting spouse also gets an expert badge? Once you pass flight school do they also get their wings? What the hell?

Response by PO1 Dave Bowles made Feb 6 at 2017 3:38 PM

PO1 Dave Bowles — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 15:38:45 -0500

I don't like them. I've been on both sides of the equation - I was a dependent child while my dad was on AD, did 21 yrs AD myself, and them spent 11 years chasing my wife around as a DH before she retired.

Being a depended is hard. No argument there. But that still doesn't confer any additional status because of your sponsor's accomplishments. I watched an admiral's wife admonish a commander's wife one time when the commander's wife tried to jump to the head of the pharmacy line at the local dispensary. Everybody who saw it cheered.

Response by Cpl Les Jordan made Feb 6 at 2017 3:58 PM

Cpl Les Jordan — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 15:58:21 -0500

In my humble opinion, it is on Junior to let his leaders know what is going on in his life if it prohibits is ability, especially if it is something weighing heavy on your mind and you are not clearheaded enough to take on dangerous tasks. When I was young Marine I had a incident in my family and two close family members become suicidal and weighed heavy on my heart and mind. I did let my command know through the proper channels. I was taken off flights (CH53) until I got home and spent time with my family and resolved some of the issues. When you join the Military you are a man or a woman, act like it. Insubordination is a child like characteristic. If your going to act like a child you will be treated like a child with adult size punishment! Letting him get away with this does not help the PFC, the Sgt., general moral, the unit, or the Military as a whole. You are relied on as a valuable member of a team. If your going through some shit let your command, your peers, or various other resources know!!!

Response by SSG William Wogernese made Feb 6 at 2017 4:06 PM

SSG William Wogernese — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 16:06:20 -0500

This shot just gave me Forrest Wittaker eye. She didn't earn a fucking thing. If she wants recognition, look to her spouse. He's the one that should be telling her how awesome she is, nothe her husband's subordinates or peers. As far as her CIB by proxy, again, she didn't earn a thing. However, I heard about a rule that was recently changed so if she wants the genuine article, there are ways to make that happen....

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2017 4:41 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 16:41:04 -0500

Yes spouses have worked hard while supportInch their SM , but don't get it twisted you are not a vet unless you served. When you married your spouse you knew what life you were getting into. Do think you are entitled to the same respect as they are. They earned that title not you. You never served and aren't an nco. You can't earn your CIB that does not give you the right nor the privilege of calling others pogs. So get educated on such before you run your pie hole

Response by Cpl Wes Kelley made Feb 6 at 2017 7:04 PM

Cpl Wes Kelley — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 19:04:56 -0500

My thoughts on it....yea keep pushing that your spouses stripes are your stripes or your spouses brass is your brass mentality. As far as I see it may as well be a cause of stolen valor cause that's basically what your claiming.

Response by PO3 Ben Slay made Feb 6 at 2017 8:18 PM

PO3 Ben Slay — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 20:18:41 -0500

Once my now ex-wife met one of my junior sailors and tried talking down to him. I didn't bother pulling her to the side before telling her he's serving his country and I might talk shit to him but she needs to treat him with the respect he deserves.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2017 12:33 AM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 00:33:36 -0500

When the weapons being used when you enlisted have been replaced ie. M16-nothing M60 machine gun, 224 mortar, SMAW, LAW, F-4, A6, .45 1911 combat rations, (you could blow shit up with your food) M60 tank, willeys jeep. Ability to actually function WITHOUT a computer. Damn I'm old old old school.

Response by Kelsey Chlovechok made Feb 7 at 2017 12:42 AM

Kelsey Chlovechok — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 00:42:57 -0500

An amazing, dedicated, mentally tough and physically able spouse is something that everybody deserves. If that spouse didn't do what they do behind the scenes, very often the military member would not be as successful as they are.
That being said, the stereotypical 'dependapotomus' that claims rank, status and merit is disgusting, disgraceful and hilarious at once.
"I earned this rank!"
No. You didn't. Your spouse did. Sit down, shut up, and educate yourself.

Response by SGT Terrence Hiett made Feb 7 at 2017 6:37 AM

SGT Terrence Hiett — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 06:37:52 -0500

My wife experienced this in the commissary at FT Benning in the 1980s. A fellow spouse kept hitting her and her cart as she shopped, told my wife to get out of her way because she was a "Captains wife and your husband is just a Sergeant"...my wife's response. "yes a Sergeant in Finance, does your husband enjoy getting paid?" I got "talked to" for my wife threatening to use my position against another spouse, the Captains wife was banned from the commissary for a month.

Military Life is different. Thank you Families that support their Service Member.

Response by A1C Kelsey Diaz made Feb 7 at 2017 7:23 AM

A1C Kelsey Diaz — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 07:23:29 -0500

I recently separated from AD and am now a spouse due to the fact that it's hard having both mom and dad b AD and have lil ones to care for but dang I'm honestly kind of embarrassed at time to be a spouse because of things like this yes it's hard being home alone so much but I promise you it's much harder being stuck in the middle of no where in the desert

Response by Cpl Kendra Pace made Feb 7 at 2017 12:20 PM

Cpl Kendra Pace — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 12:20:26 -0500

I can't handle women who are like this! I'm a veteran and I will not treat you like you are a veteran because your husband is. You didn't go on the deployment, you didn't get shot at, you say at home and waited for him to come home. I'm now the spouse of a Marine and I will never say that I deserve respect because of who he is or who he becomes. I will respect others and treat them with kindness because that's how you earn respect! You don't earn respect by demanding it and you sure as hell won't get it by saying who your husband is.

Response by CSM Andrew Perrault made Feb 7 at 2017 12:26 PM

CSM Andrew Perrault — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 12:26:35 -0500

She's no better than the folks running around claiming they served she's another "Stolen Valor" and if her husband allows this conduct he needs to be brought in and read the riot act....... Zero tolerance for this crap.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2017 1:19 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 13:19:45 -0500

I'm reminded of something that happened in one of the units I was in during our deployment.

http://www.militarytimes.com/story/military/archives/2013/03/27/commander-s-wife-banned-from-brigade/78534596/

Commander's wife banned from brigade

Response by SSG Keith Cashion made Feb 7 at 2017 2:17 PM

SSG Keith Cashion — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 14:17:10 -0500

I think that some of this is perpetuated by the Military Member as well. I have been married for 30 years, and my wife was there the entire time. The funny thing is, my wife can't stand other spouses that try to wear the spouses rank. Never has, and for that matter, she couldn't care what their rank was. We had an understanding that when Uncle Sammy called and said move out...that is just what I did, and she expected no less. I give my wife MAJOR,MAJOR PROPS for raising two very smart daughters while I was always gone, and kept our family moving in a forward motion. My wife says that she would not want to know what I have seen and gone through while deployed, and I say I would not want to know what she had to deal with, with two teenage girls while deployed. Some things are better just unknown.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2017 3:31 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 15:31:40 -0500

Discgrace. Do your time if you want to be a combat vet.

Response by CWO4 Gene A. made Feb 7 at 2017 4:50 PM

CWO4 Gene A. — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 16:50:02 -0500

Well now, my wife was with me for 29 years of my 30 year career. Raised 4 kids in difficult times. But, never complained or even asked for special treatment. Some deserve recognition for supporting their husbands but it's a stretch to even consider that a spouse should be given the same consideration as their mate. Recognition and appreciation yes but, not in the same manner as the individual actually serving.

Response by PV2 Tyler Booth made Feb 7 at 2017 7:06 PM

PV2 Tyler Booth — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:06:08 -0500

The way she says that he earned the cib for both of them is just flat out idiocy she needs to have a lobotomy for her mental issues she didn't stay calm under heavy gunfire she didn't deal with dirt sand and dust in places it don't belong she didn't have to deal with anything other than to stay home take care of possible kids and keep other sm's out of her.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2017 9:08 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 21:08:43 -0500

I will agree that there are sacrifices made by the wives -- deployments, field problems, etc. But they are not their husbands rank. I would treat them with respect, but if any would have ever attempted to "pull rank" on me -- it would have been over. There would have been a tactful smack down.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2017 9:35 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 21:35:53 -0500

Oh, Dear Lord Baby Jesus, please say this is a fake profile.

Response by SGT Michael Rodriguez made Feb 7 at 2017 9:40 PM

SGT Michael Rodriguez — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 21:40:53 -0500

I hate to reinforce stereotypes or confirm them, but there is some truth to them. I saw many a military buddy or associate get totally screwed over by a dependapotamus. Also, the oft-repeated phrase "military spouse is the toughest job in the mlitary" is wrong in my opinion because even though the spouse might miss the service member, so does the service member, and he/she is in a dangerous profession, with risk of death. Also, said servicemember usually has to endure great physical discomfort through strenuous physical activity, weather conditions, and psychological punishment. Virtually everyone has the potential to be a military spouse, regardless of their physical or mental condition, but the reverse is not true, and those of us that served know that it takes a certain kind of person to even have served in the most basic military position.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Feb 7 at 2017 10:59 PM

COL Charles Williams — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 22:59:59 -0500

The discussion is Ok, but the term is not appropriate (see below). SSG Private RallyPoint Member . I came in th Army in 1980 as an E1, and married my HS sweatheart in 83... we are still married today. I served for 33 years... My wife never wore my rank or cared what I was, but she always worked hard and was always my best supporter and advisor. She supported me at work, along with a full time job, and being a mom. Plus I was gone a fair amount. That said, dependapotomus is not appropriate. By the way, my wife has always worked full time, with few exceptions. I would agree some spouses get a little carried away. But, that is not new thing. It is much less now than when I was a young officer...

https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/have-you-heard-the-word-dependapotamus-i-hate-it

Have you heard the word - Dependapotamus? I hate it. | RallyPoint

This is a change, I know from the normal things I see on RP, but I thought it was interesting for two reasons. I am interested, as always, in your thoughts. 1. I dealt with this directly, and daily, in my 37 months as Garrison Commander of a Large Garrison. As a GC, my main mission, aside from running the installation, was the well-being of Soldiers (Airmen, Sailors, and Marines) and Family Members. As GC, I ran my own Face Book site, which I...

Response by SPC Owen Petrey III made Feb 7 at 2017 11:00 PM

SPC Owen Petrey III — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 23:00:29 -0500

Personally I look at it as almost stolen valor. When I was deployed I knew it was hard for her. She took zero credit for my deployment. She did a great job of taking care of things while I was deployed.

Response by PVT Vance Hanna made Feb 7 at 2017 11:23 PM

PVT Vance Hanna — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 23:23:26 -0500

Hell her When she went without Hot meals, Hot water, a warm bed, and the safety of home while risking being shot at on a daily basis,for Months and months at a time, then and ONLY THEN did she earn a CIB. Hell i was infantry and never earned a CIB because i never saw combat. Entitled ass bitch right there.

Response by PO2 Ted Harrell made Feb 8 at 2017 5:29 AM

PO2 Ted Harrell — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 05:29:19 -0500

Her husband needs to have a good talking to by the command.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 6:39 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 06:39:25 -0500

Too obvious. This is a troll.

Response by SCPO Derek Lindsay made Feb 8 at 2017 6:49 AM

SCPO Derek Lindsay — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 06:49:10 -0500

Are they nuts? Spouses do work hard. That is a given. They deserve and get their own separate respects for their own accomplishments.

Response by SSG Vincent Wilson made Feb 8 at 2017 7:10 AM

SSG Vincent Wilson — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 07:10:05 -0500

My first thought is seeing lower enlisted troops in the PX with their family, guy has the 1000 yard stare. Here is this very fit young man, 2 kids hanging off the cart, a baby, and a woman that is on a direct path to be using one of those electric carts before she hits 30.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 7:16 AM

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 07:16:49 -0500

I almost spit out my coffee! I am a spouse, a mother, daughter, and sister... that is it... my husband EARNED HIS awards and ranks not me, I will forever be proud of him for his achievements, and for being in the military but in no way will I EVER expect the recognition of being in the military, or my his achievements. Women like this make the good ones look bad! So ridiculous! I will however donate a throat punch to women like this!

Response by Cpl Casey Meyer made Feb 8 at 2017 7:51 AM

Cpl Casey Meyer — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 07:51:06 -0500

Wow. Yes, dependants do commit to the lifestyle as well, however, my ex wife managed to get me chewed out pre-deployment for having to stand post at the company, and took it upon herself to complain to the 1Sgt. I then told her that my life is at the needs of the Marine Corps, and my job is to follow orders, and it was not her place as a defendant to go to my chain of command just due to the fact I wasn't at home when she wanted me to be. This is more of an issue come to light by the younger generation in my opinion. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

Response by Cpl Michael Burns made Feb 8 at 2017 8:22 AM

Cpl Michael Burns — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 08:22:51 -0500

I find it hilarious. It's so ridiculous. I mean honestly you would think that these responses came from Saturday night live. You are a dependant. Your entitlement goes as far as base services and bah. That's it. I had a sergeants wife get into it with me over the Muslim refugees crises. See kept acting all tuff trying to hide behind her husband's rank. She failed to realize that I was no longer in the military and I could care less what rank her husband was.

Response by Cpl Roy Savell made Feb 8 at 2017 10:01 AM

Cpl Roy Savell — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 10:01:14 -0500

Then get your fat ass out there and PT every morning and stop banging everyone when he's on deployment

Response by SSG Chancer Toodle made Feb 8 at 2017 12:03 PM

SSG Chancer Toodle — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 12:03:11 -0500

Spouses do support the men and women who defend our nation. However, they don't deserve the same entitlement of taking credit or the respect of their significant others' rank. I've had Soldiers whose main hindrance in their career progression was the spouse. Then I've had the Soldiers who never would've made it without their spouse's support. Although their sacrifices are appreciated; they are still NOT service members. You don't earn what I've earned just because we're married. If you didn't jump out of a plane, go to combat, or anything else I did to earn my ribbons and medals then kindly keep your mouth closed about things you weren't involved in doing.

Response by Melissa Redwine made Feb 8 at 2017 1:41 PM

Melissa Redwine — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 13:41:54 -0500

She didn't do shit. Unless she enlists and EARNS that ranking she can stuff it. Military wives do A LOT. However they are not entitled to be treated like a vet. My mother was a military wife and NEVER demanded to be treated as if she served.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 2:45 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 14:45:55 -0500

I've been on both sides of the spectrum and being a "dependent" was not enjoyable. I hated being treated and DISREGARDED like one. I believe that these women, and men, are looked down upon and they just want to have a little bit of recognition for all of the hardships they must face too. Being isolated on a base in the middle of nowhere, no real or meaningful friendships due to turnover, no family, being a practical single parent, not having outside stimulation... all of those things were worse than being in the shit of Afghanistan, because yes, I saw actual combat and was off of our COP running missions more than I was on. I get why they act like this, however it does not excuse it. It's annoying as hell but we need to show them more respect. Their sacrifices are equally great in different ways.

Response by PO2 Michelle Bova made Feb 8 at 2017 2:59 PM

PO2 Michelle Bova — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 14:59:30 -0500

Bitch...you didnt earn anything. Know your role!!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 3:17 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 15:17:34 -0500

Response by SFC Robert Ortopan made Feb 8 at 2017 4:12 PM

SFC Robert Ortopan — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 16:12:26 -0500

Probably a young kid who is very proud of her hubby which is great as she gets a bit older and wiser she hopefully will be reeled in by the others in the FRG and learn the protocols of the mil-spouse community.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 4:20 PM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 16:20:25 -0500

This rates up there from the time I was in the Guard married to an AD Capt. I went to the spouses meeting where I was relegated to the seats for the lower ranking spouses, because my husband was a Capt. I proceeded to announce I was a 6 figure hospital executive and they could take their pathetic attempts to make themselves feel important and oh by the way, they were spouse and I was a Maj and would sit where I would like to sit. No I was never invited back. They did not deserve my input and I wasn't going to play their High School games.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 7:27 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 19:27:15 -0500

Uugghh no

Response by LTC Donell Kelly made Feb 8 at 2017 8:17 PM

LTC Donell Kelly — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 20:17:05 -0500

I think you referring to spouses as "dependepotamus" is very disrespectful and uncalled for. No, my spouses didn't earn my rank. Nor would they have expected anyone to consider that they should be afforded anything extra because of my rank. But I also think that dependents are often not credited with the very hard work they do, keeping families together during deployments.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2017 8:23 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 20:23:29 -0500

I hate it when a spouse tries to take their spouse's rank! It drives me crazy! I also don't care for the whole "I served, too!" notion. However, I am more accepting of that because spouses do go through a lot when they are the ones stuck at home trying to keep the house together while the other one is deployed. Still, though, that doesn't make them entitled.

I once was working the kitchen when my supervisor came and told me he needed me to help someone cook spaghetti. OK. Whatever. Then, she said thank you made the comment "I know you're just doing this because of who I am." She said it rather snooodly, as if she was some huge celebrity everyone was supposed to know. I had no clue who she was, nor did I care. I was just doing what I was told. Then, my supervisor later told me she was some Colonel's wife. My supervisor spent time kissing her tail end while we cooked the spaghetti she volunteered to make for her kid's high school pasta feed. We never would have done it for an Airman's spouse. Why did we have to do it for her? That was the first time I heard the term Dependa. And for the longest time, I forgot what it was until I began to befriend spouses. Now I see people like her (and much worse) everywhere.

Response by LCpl Kenneth Saxon made Feb 8 at 2017 9:49 PM

LCpl Kenneth Saxon — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 21:49:42 -0500

Yes a spouse has a hard job, but they did not earn any title like their spouse. U r not just given the rank or the title without earning it. And sorry but not sorry being a stay at home mom vs going to combat r 2 different things

Response by SGT Gene Langley made Feb 8 at 2017 9:53 PM

SGT Gene Langley — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 21:53:02 -0500

U want a CIB.hump that ruck,instead of a soilder

Response by SFC Bruce Pettengill made Feb 8 at 2017 11:51 PM

SFC Bruce Pettengill — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:51:38 -0500

They are darn well right. They should be treated with the same respect as their loved ones. While their loved ones are deployed they have to take care of the kids, do all the things necessary to run a household (the tasks are to numerous to list) they have to be mom and dad and then they need to keep a job to make all ends meet. There should be as many awards given to them as most soldiers get while they are deployed.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Feb 9 at 2017 5:34 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 05:34:41 -0500

My wife never asked for special treatment, her and the other wives treated each other as equals, and were all great friends, she still talks with a few of them now and then. Besides that she calls herself the general officer of the house.

Response by Cpl Joshua Caldwell made Feb 9 at 2017 8:02 AM

Cpl Joshua Caldwell — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 08:02:34 -0500

WOW, WTF, someone needs to pull her hubby aside and have him explain reality to her. He is a vet, she is not plain and simple. She has no rank and has no MOS or combat experience. If she wants those things she can walk her ass over to the recruiter.

Response by SGT Matthew Cascio made Feb 9 at 2017 8:12 AM

SGT Matthew Cascio — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 08:12:53 -0500

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 8:39 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 08:39:13 -0500

I've been the wife at home and the Soldier away but NEVER did I feel my spouse's rank or accomplishments were mine. You want the respect go earn it

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 11:14 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 11:14:15 -0500

Response by SPC Matthew Poehler made Feb 9 at 2017 11:19 AM

SPC Matthew Poehler — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 11:19:47 -0500

tell that idiot wife to either enlost and pick up a rifle or have a coke and a smile and sit the fuck down and shut her mouth.

Response by SPC Matthew Poehler made Feb 9 at 2017 11:22 AM

SPC Matthew Poehler — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 11:22:05 -0500

good old fashioned wall to wall counseling

Response by Cpl Samantha Purucker made Feb 9 at 2017 2:00 PM

Cpl Samantha Purucker — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 14:00:09 -0500

I've been both sides of the deployment, it is indeed harder to be over there. I wanted to punch my ex-husband's 1Sgt's wife. Prior to his deployment she was going on about phone call priveleges and basically said they will be able to call as soon as they land in country, when I corrected her telling her it could be a while, she told me to shut up, she was the 1sgt's wife and had been in the Marine Corps longer than me. I very quickly reminded her that I was actually in the Marine Corps and fully understand what happens when you land in country. I hate dependas with a passion.

Response by MAJ Jr C made Feb 9 at 2017 3:32 PM

MAJ Jr C — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 15:32:53 -0500

They are annoying idiots. They have FRIENDS, maybe a "job" in the FRG...but they arent in charge of jack-didly; should and will be ignored when they start thinking they are "in-charge".

Response by SMSgt Timothy Cathers made Feb 9 at 2017 4:51 PM

SMSgt Timothy Cathers — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 16:51:59 -0500

Wives who wear rank are simply ignorant.

Response by Sgt Steve Bagwell made Feb 9 at 2017 5:12 PM

Sgt Steve Bagwell — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 17:12:09 -0500

Its always been that way. Wives pull rank on other wives. Its ridiculous. Wives are important to that SM but that SM would have still performed the duties assigned regardless of being married or not. If you didnt go through bootcamp, you dont have a rank.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 5:27 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 17:27:59 -0500

First off your civilian. Your husband signed up in the military. So you do not wear rank. Your husband earned his combat infantry badge or his combat action badge not you. You are what we like to call a dependapotomiss. So ladies learn to play nice.

Response by SSG Marcus Brothers made Feb 9 at 2017 5:45 PM

SSG Marcus Brothers — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 17:45:34 -0500

What the actual fuck did I just read? CIB for the spouse? Did he get hurt? Maybe we should throw a Purple Heart on her rack too.

It is sad that these dependas exist because most military spouses are terrific.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 6:14 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 18:14:04 -0500

Bihhh please!!!!

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Feb 9 at 2017 8:41 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 20:41:40 -0500

I think "dependapotamus" is an insulting term SSG Private RallyPoint Member. It reminded me of REMF as a term which was just an insult.
Certainly spouses who care for children while the service member deploys provide an invaluable service to the family, the deployed service member and by extension to the service members unit.
That being said the comments of the spouse in your question are way over the top.
Respect should be afforded to all service members, their spouses and veterans and their spouse on military installations. Of course what should be is not always what happens.
Background: I enlisted in the Army in October 1974 and was trained as Combat Engineer. In July 1976 I was accepted as a cadet at USMA West Point. I was commissioned in the infantry in May 1980 and served in infantry assignments and later in ORSA assignments. I was married in Columbus, Ga in October 1987. My wife served with a no-contact order while having a cardio catheterization in May 1995 and divorced me in September 1996. I was introduced to my forever wife in October 1999 and we married in December 1999. I served in the Pentagon until 2008 in various planning-related duties.
Thanks for mentioning me COL Charles Williams

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 9:05 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 21:05:10 -0500

She deserves nothing, she didn't wear the suit her husband did. She's a whining, wanna be, suck it up your just like everyone else NOT A VETERAN that's her husband's title ge gets the respect etc.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2017 9:10 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 21:10:01 -0500

From a POG wife she deserves nothing he did the work not her, she did no deployments, no training, nothing. She needs to suck it up and get over herself. Sincerely,
A wife of 22+years of a retired VETERAN and he deserves the respect and salutes etc not me

Response by SGT Jim Tough made Feb 9 at 2017 9:35 PM

SGT Jim Tough — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 21:35:58 -0500

Response by SGT Jim Tough made Feb 9 at 2017 9:36 PM

SGT Jim Tough — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 21:36:56 -0500

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2017 2:10 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 02:10:30 -0500

This has to be a troll...there's no way

Response by SGT Tony Paredes made Feb 10 at 2017 11:18 AM

SGT Tony Paredes — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 11:18:10 -0500

Response by SPC Loran Taylor made Feb 10 at 2017 5:09 PM

SPC Loran Taylor — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 17:09:09 -0500

Omg what a twit

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2017 5:23 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 17:23:21 -0500

My reply always has and always will be "no"

Response by SFC Jeff Holcombe made Feb 10 at 2017 8:34 PM

SFC Jeff Holcombe — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 20:34:49 -0500

My wife stayed away from FSGs for this reason.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2017 8:48 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 20:48:59 -0500

What the hell is a senior E5 anyway? Good lord this is ridiculous.

Response by SSG Jane Doe made Feb 10 at 2017 9:18 PM

SSG Jane Doe — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 21:18:12 -0500

Let me know when you seem a spouse wearing their husband's COL rank on their leather jacket...

Response by SPC Erick Renteria Flores made Feb 11 at 2017 3:48 PM

SPC Erick Renteria Flores — Sat, 11 Feb 2017 15:48:07 -0500

She sck

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2017 3:55 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Feb 2017 15:55:31 -0500

If you have never been in a combat zone the you are not a combat veteran. Those of us who have been deployed to a combat zone are the only one's who are combat veterans. Not your spouse.

Response by SPC Johnney Abbott made Feb 11 at 2017 6:30 PM

SPC Johnney Abbott — Sat, 11 Feb 2017 18:30:23 -0500

They need to lose that attitude. Yes they support the service members but if you want the respect your significant other you need to step up and serve your time.
As a military policeman back in the day they were the worst. I can't count how many times I heard the "do you know who my husband is?". Or think you have to follow their "orders".

Response by SFC Fred Youngs made Feb 11 at 2017 9:22 PM

SFC Fred Youngs — Sat, 11 Feb 2017 21:22:01 -0500

No, you are Not a Veteran! Now if you head down to the Recruiting Office and Enlist then you can be a Veteran just like My Wife who served between all the Wars and Incidents since Vietnam. This from a guy who was in from 1974-1998 and did a Retiree Recall from 2006-2010. Your Husband went many dangerous Missions and was Awarded the CIB Not You. Yes, you did a lot while he was off Fighting for his Country and Family. The CIB was Awarded to him Nowhere on that Award is your name.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2017 10:17 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Feb 2017 22:17:50 -0500

Response by SGT Terry Walton made Feb 12 at 2017 1:20 AM

SGT Terry Walton — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 01:20:48 -0500

There is no typical military spouse. But today seeing this made me think of Mrs. Moore, the wife of the recently late Lt. Gen Hal Moore. How during Vietnam as the telegrams of KIA/WIA/MIA came pouring into their base she had the battalions notices delivered to her and delivered them herself. Being there for other scared dependents. There are always bad examples, but there are also those that rise above. Mrs. Moore is a good example.

Response by SGT James Hunsinger made Feb 12 at 2017 2:05 PM

SGT James Hunsinger — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 14:05:17 -0500

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 12 at 2017 3:26 PM

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 15:26:03 -0500

This whole spouse thing I have never understood. There are many spouses that are married to hose who serve. Firefighters, police officers, medical field, contractors that serve oversees. I am not only a 27 years retiree, but was married to a chief and now engaged to an O-4. I have lived both sides and sorry, it's not something you didn't sign up for. Get over it and stop asking for something that is your job. Tons of single parents out there manage more with less. You are a spouse and I give you props for doing something loads of people do. Smh

Response by PO1 Steven Ewing made Feb 12 at 2017 6:36 PM

PO1 Steven Ewing — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 18:36:32 -0500

When I was in the Navy it was some of the O wives that tried to "pull rank" from time to time. I never saw or heard of an enlisted wife trying to pull that kind of garbage.

Response by LTC Denis Sullivan made Feb 12 at 2017 10:30 PM

LTC Denis Sullivan — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 22:30:56 -0500

I've found a spouse's attitude often reflects that of the soldier. If he throws his rank around, so will she. If he espouses a philosophy of servant leadership, she will be less likely to exploit his rank for personal gain.

Response by SPC Josh Corrington made Feb 13 at 2017 12:27 AM

SPC Josh Corrington — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 00:27:06 -0500

Kitchen

Response by MSG Dan Castaneda made Feb 13 at 2017 11:10 AM

MSG Dan Castaneda — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:10:29 -0500

Wow! that was a good laugh.

Response by SSG Chris Black made Feb 13 at 2017 11:29 AM

SSG Chris Black — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:29:50 -0500

They are cocked in the head! Any wife act like that with me it is just get along woman your husband earned it not you. Hell my wife never acted like that.

Response by MSG Dan Castaneda made Feb 13 at 2017 12:30 PM

MSG Dan Castaneda — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 12:30:56 -0500

While I appreciate my wife for the great woman that she is, my wife does not deserve the same recognition that I do. To add, I completely oppose her entitled 50% of my retirement if we ever get divorced. My wife has indeed taken care of my children and our home, but has been protected by the security that I have provided for her. The day she drags her friends dead bodies across our lawn or hits EIDs on her way to Wal-Mart, then I may reconsider my thought. Until then, my wife is a civilian just like the cat lady next door.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Feb 13 at 2017 6:43 PM

PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 18:43:10 -0500

Now-I was a Marine spouse and served Active Duty Army. There are those that say 'my husband is_______, so I am too...." Well, you are NOT in uniform unless you are DUAL military.
Rank and the HONOR of our Brotherhood/Sisterhood is EARNED through blood, sweat,tears,and a bond that is forged during training and/or on the battlefield. Spouses have an all out different job-one that is important to us: Keeping the home fires burning, our homes clean while filled with love and hope, our children healthy and happy; meals for us after a day filled with frustration. You the spouse complete what we can not do. Took me years to learn this, cause I was young and naive and now I am educated and a bit more wise.
So SM's, appreciate your spouses for the tasks they do daily and the same for you spouses-our jobs are difficult enough and adding worry and stress is not good.

Response by Capt Kristin Padilla made Feb 13 at 2017 9:41 PM

Capt Kristin Padilla — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 21:41:34 -0500

I was AD AF as a nurse and I introduced myself to a wife that was a patient of mine for the night. She responded with, "I'm Mrs. Maj. (last name withheld)." I just had to laugh and wanted to ask her if she had a special ribbon for that. As a Vet and dependent wife whose husband has spent a good amount of time away, I say HELL no, the spouses shouldn't take credit for their spouses rank or service. It's not easy being a military spouse sometimes and it's important to back the military member but don't take credit for it.

Response by SSgt Stephen Berry made Feb 13 at 2017 10:41 PM

SSgt Stephen Berry — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 22:41:47 -0500

This has got to be a freaking joke!!! Please say it's a joke!!

Response by SPC Melinda Burg made Feb 13 at 2017 11:52 PM

SPC Melinda Burg — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 23:52:20 -0500

Being a veteran myself before he joined gives me a special place I understand deployment from both sides and while I do a lot now as a spouse it isn't any different whether he was deployed or not I planned my life without him and when he was there he helped as he could. I was prepared for many contingencies but I never said hrs earned my veteran status because I did that. So boo on these women lots of women don't have spouses and do it all.
Just love home when he's there and teach your kids the value of service and if you want veteran status, join.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 14 at 2017 6:47 AM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Feb 2017 06:47:15 -0500

Nothing new under the sun. The only diff is that now, when a spouse does or say stuff like that, it's on social media for all to see. Before, it was in closed meetings or one on one, and so it was handled that way too.

Response by Sgt Ronald Scurry made Feb 14 at 2017 1:16 PM

Sgt Ronald Scurry — Tue, 14 Feb 2017 13:16:01 -0500

I'm picking up what you're putting down but I'm not cool with the dependapotamus label. Once at the commissary on Fort Bragg, I saw a woman standing in line (on a payday Friday no less) and cursing and belittling the cashier. She continually repeated that her husband was a Capitan and she shouldn't have her time waisted. At that point a older grandmotherly lady tapped her on the shoulder and loudly informed her hat her husband was the installation commander and if she could QUIETLY stand in line so could the wife of some Captain (her words).

Response by SFC Larry Jones made Feb 15 at 2017 2:38 AM

SFC Larry Jones — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:38:45 -0500

The service member wears the rank and faces the hazards, not the family member. I am a (non combat) 100% disabled vet married to a wonderful (RN) humble woman who would never have presumed anything so preposterous.

Response by SSG Jim Beverly made Feb 15 at 2017 4:45 AM

SSG Jim Beverly — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 04:45:23 -0500

I actually viewed this post four months ago but went into a coma from the sheer idiocy my brain was bombarded with. Where are we on this issue now?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2017 6:12 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 06:12:34 -0500

Is this real? I mean seriously, she has to be joking.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2017 8:56 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 08:56:48 -0500

Oh, sweet flying spaghetti monster.
Yes. This happens. You have to deal with it with tact, a measure of compassion for the afflicted Soldier, and let the chain of command at least know that you're handling it.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Feb 15 at 2017 10:15 AM

SSgt Jim Gilmore — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:15:58 -0500

Never have liked the idea of a spouse thinking they wear the rank as well.

Response by Cpl Emily Allen made Feb 15 at 2017 9:16 PM

Cpl Emily Allen — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 21:16:11 -0500

Throatpunch.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2017 10:41 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 22:41:53 -0500

The officer wives are the worst... "You better salute me, I'm -insert rank here- Snuffy's wife." I just about-faced and forward marched away from her before saying something I would regret. I was an A1C at the time...Like really... You're not the one serving, lady.

Response by PFC Ashley Reatz made Feb 16 at 2017 7:41 AM

PFC Ashley Reatz — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 07:41:24 -0500

I am a retired Army Officer's daughter, a veteran Solider, and a former Marine Corps spouse. Two years ago my husband and I separated from the military lifestyle, and because of this "dependa" mentality, I'm grateful, but it's honestly something I'd rather deal with every day than be in the Civilian sector.

For me, the entitlement would be put in check ... I'm quick to correct any FUBAR person, regardless of affiliation, title, or rank, whereas most are not - but, I do so with tact, and respect.

I have seen each side of the military life, and have learned a LOT. But that is because I wanted to bring honor to those who came before me, stood beside me, and served after. My mentality is not common these days, sadly.

For all those dependas out there, brush up on history, do your research, learn the traditions of your military member's branch, and show some respect. Unless you wore the uniform and signed up to give your life for your country, step off! You have earned NOTHING, but appreciation for standing behind your service member, not writing them a "Dear John/Jody" letter, or cheating on them ... for that you can give yourself a pat on the back, but no more. Anything given to you past that is simply a show of appreciation from those your service member protects ... none of which you are entitled to. Graciously thank them, accept the gift, pay it forward, and move on.

Dependas need a reality check before it hurts their service member's career, which is a REAL possibility. As a military spouse, your actions DIRECTLY reflect on your service member, good or bad. Remember that. Oh, and regardless of your marital status, you are a GUEST aboard any post or installation, and can easily be eighty-sixed and have all base/post privelledges revoked - I've seen it happen.

So ladies and gentlemen, present yourself in a manner in which would make your service member proud ... never in a way that would bring them shame. This is THEIR career, NOT yours! && don't you have a Key Wives/FRG meeting to get to anyway?! Out!

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 9:55 AM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 09:55:19 -0500

Until you enlist you have earned no benefits!

Response by CPL Arica Reily made Feb 16 at 2017 10:19 AM

CPL Arica Reily — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:19:12 -0500

I saw this a lot when I was in. Makes me mad as f. I just want to say good job. You stuck by your husband while he was deployed. However, you did not serve. Your husband did.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 10:38 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:38:30 -0500

you get nothing, and your husband needs to put you in your place why do you feal so untitled just because your married to a service member you have no power no pull and apparently no shame riding his cost tail like that.

Response by Misty Bonner made Feb 16 at 2017 10:43 AM

Misty Bonner — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:43:23 -0500

I'm the wife of a combat veteran and although my side of things may have been hard, they were NEVER as hard as his side of things especially during deployment to Afghanistan in 2005-2007. He has seen and performed actions and duties I could never imagine in my worst nightmares...I am not equal to his rank by any means, I'm just a wild fan of my husband and his brothers in arms for all they have done and for those who continue to serve!!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 10:47 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:47:05 -0500

These spouses really give a bad name to the other spouses. My wife hates these kind of post. She was an Army brat, dad is an E-8, and would never try this nor entertain it. She wont even join these groups on facebook just for this reason alone. It's pathetic really since these groups are supposed to be a sort of support system for our spouse to meet friends that have similar living situations as them. I'm sure my wife isn't the only one that feels this way and its truly sad that others will shy away from using what could be a great resource just because a few spouses feel as if they are better than the others for legit no reason.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 10:47 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:47:42 -0500

Find out what his problem is and make him understand no mater what's going on in your life it is no excuse for losing your military baring especially disrespecting anyone not just including NCOs let him know there's other way to go about that being said he's geting a counseling regardless and definatly geting put under a microscope for a bit

Response by CPL Brant Mitchell made Feb 16 at 2017 11:53 AM

CPL Brant Mitchell — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 11:53:09 -0500

That is probably the dumbest thing I've read in a good while. Stupid

Response by Natalie Miller made Feb 16 at 2017 12:27 PM

Natalie Miller — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 12:27:53 -0500

As a military spouse I can say this side sucks. I can't tell you how many girls I've wanted to punch for pulling rank on me in the commissary or MCX. I would NEVER use my husbands rank to get anywhere or anything. I stand beside him and support him and push him to become a better Marine every day. These women that feel "in titled" to their husbands rank need a reality check quick.

Response by Steve Dick made Feb 16 at 2017 1:01 PM

Steve Dick — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 13:01:53 -0500

I understand that military families sacrifice when their loved ones are deployed but for them to feel entitled or demanding to be treated like a vet or service man or woman is ridiculous. If they truely want that title and respect then they should enlist and serve their country.

Response by SGT Paul Boggs made Feb 16 at 2017 1:07 PM

SGT Paul Boggs — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 13:07:24 -0500

Let the dependosaurus vet enlist into the infantry basic training. She won't make it past 30th AG.

Response by SPC Jaymie Oakley made Feb 16 at 2017 1:11 PM

SPC Jaymie Oakley — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 13:11:49 -0500

My ex husband's rank Is his rank not mine I didn't earn it. I am a Veteran and a Military Wife and I my opinion is if you went to basic and AIT and served you are a Vet you don't get that title by being a spouse.

Response by CPL Shaun Harrington made Feb 16 at 2017 1:28 PM

CPL Shaun Harrington — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 13:28:57 -0500

Wow you a dumb fuck tard your a POG get over it and go to the Green Bean.

Response by LCpl Aaron Hardy made Feb 16 at 2017 4:41 PM

LCpl Aaron Hardy — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 16:41:33 -0500

Just wow

Response by Ty Long made Feb 16 at 2017 5:23 PM

Ty Long — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 17:23:25 -0500

Response by Patricia Young made Feb 16 at 2017 5:30 PM

Patricia Young — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 17:30:19 -0500

I was a military spouse from the time I was 18 until my husband retired Oct. 2016 when I was 38 and I have always separated my life from my husbands professional life. By that I mean his rank and his military accomplishments are celebrated but I do not claim them as my own.
There is a reason for that and that's because I stay in my lane. That's not my lane. We have four kids and I took care of home and he took care of us. That's good enough for me.

I will say this "girl bye". I will respect you as the military spouse you are and nothing more. I wish I would see you walking around with a CIB on. I will report your butt so fast your head will spin. It's women like this that wear their husbands rank and honors that make other wives not want anything to do with other military wives. PLEASE LADIES AND OTHERS GO HAVE SEVERAL SEATS AND STAY IN YOUR LANE!!!! Stop trying to be everything. Celebrate your husband and it enjoy it as a family but you don't have to be "that" person. Plus the majority of wives do not want to be around someone like that anyway.
It's people like this that make it embarrassing to be a military spouse sometimes. GROW UP!!!!

Response by Amn Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 6:05 PM

Amn Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 18:05:37 -0500

Bitch if you want to be treated like a vet, than raise your right hand

Response by Lizz Owens made Feb 16 at 2017 6:10 PM

Lizz Owens — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 18:10:51 -0500

Just because you carry the equivalent of a ruck on your mid section doesn't mean you worked as hard as your SM. Unless the chicken legs you were hoisting into your battalion beater weighed 25lbs each and the Domino's guy was wearing a 72 Virgins Vest, you should shuuuut thefuckup. Shhh! No! Holster your dick beater, Dependa

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2017 6:22 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 18:22:38 -0500

So I myself was a service member. I was once higher rank than my husband. But I got out to raise our children. He is still in as active duty. He went on deployment while I was entering my second trimester with our twins. We also had a 1 year old at home. Needless to say it was a rough deployment. But not once did I think I needed to take on his role for recognition. Both the role of a service member and that of a spouse/mother is both important. Let's recognize both as difficult jobs and that both sides work hard. And sorry but unless you have lost blood, sweat, and tears for your country...take the uniform off!!!!

Response by CPL Lori Cheek made Feb 16 at 2017 6:45 PM

CPL Lori Cheek — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 18:45:33 -0500

It's the soldier's not the spouse's , if you want that then join up! My ex husband and I were both active duty ... my rank, awards and anything else was mine and his was his own.

Response by Nicole Hillestad made Feb 16 at 2017 7:40 PM

Nicole Hillestad — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 19:40:44 -0500

My father was a marine and then in the navy. I grew up on a military base and witnessed a lot of stay at home moms behaving in a manner not becoming of a respectful hard working military wife. My ex husband was navy while we were married and never deployed while we were together but I was able to experience the dependapotamus while shopping at the commissary and all I could do was laugh at how pathetic they were with their sense of entitlement and snotty attitudes. So glad to be away from all that now and never would I have ever tried to use my husbands rank to my advantage. Disgusting.

Response by Lindsey Schellin made Feb 16 at 2017 11:48 PM

Lindsey Schellin — Thu, 16 Feb 2017 23:48:47 -0500

I was a military wife, now a widow. Yes, being a military wife is hard and takes alot of commitment, when you love your SO. We deal with picking up the pieces of our soldiers. When they come home tired, tattered, hurting and worn. Raising children on our own. Being married, but being alone for sometimes most of our marriages. It's rough. It's hard. Dealing with the emotional and mental backlash of your loving husband being a soldier as well. It's not easy. But one thing I know for sure... I have not experienced what a soldier does. Especially if your SO has been in longer than 5 years. I can't even begin to relate. To understand. The burdens, the demons, the responsibilities, the straight bullshit, that soldiers go though. My husband couldn't even imagine or possibly relate to what I had to go through. There's nothing wrong with taking pride in being that support for your SO. To be the home front. You should! But how furious would some women be if their husband took the credit for how well the house worked, how great the kids were, for how good the meals were cooked...when he didn't directly do it. Soldiers earned there own, their rank, their accomplishments. It's selfish for the spouse to take credit or expect praise and recognition for something they didn't do. There's a middle ground. He supports and lifts you up, to get you through your struggles. You do the same for him through work. If and if your marriage is able to make it through and stay strong, it was not by one sole effort, but by both. The marriage succeeds. The marriage, the group effort on both parts gets the praise. Until a soldiers wife earns her own rank by joining and busting her ass, she can take that petty crap somewhere else.

Response by SPC Sabrina Olazarra made Feb 17 at 2017 8:39 AM

SPC Sabrina Olazarra — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 08:39:37 -0500

Apparently this dependa went to war. Lol not. I have been a spouse and also active duty. As far as I am concern about this post this dependa has posted well she is a complete idiot. Makes other army wives just shake our heads with utter disappointment.

Response by Amanda Baur made Feb 17 at 2017 9:21 AM

Amanda Baur — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 09:21:35 -0500

What in the actual fuck? Where does all the entitlement come from??

Response by Mike Meredith made Feb 17 at 2017 9:29 AM

Mike Meredith — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 09:29:58 -0500

My son is a 19yo. Infantryman, and as his father, the only entitlement I believe I carry is that I'm entitled to be forever proud of his commitment to serve, and entitled to defend his commitment to those who would otherwise disparage our military defenders of freedom. With that said, I also believe "A-A-A-

Response by PFC Emily Little made Feb 17 at 2017 11:37 AM

PFC Emily Little — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 11:37:27 -0500

I think as a Prior-service member and now dependent, I can shine a different light on this subject than most. Sadly I am disgusted by women like this. They think they wear their husband's rank and should get just as much respect as he does. Let me say this. If a couple has children, they are parents and will parent the children accordingly. Even in the military this holds true, so in my opinion no one should get any special treatment for taking care of their responsibility. That's like saying she earned a gold star for feeding her kid that day; it's impractical and unnecessary.

Right now, on the post my husband and I stay on, there is a dependent wife who walks around with her nose stuck in the air, and whose husband came to my door acting like he was my husband's NCO. I have seen some deplorable things while stationed with my husband, and there are days I'm ashamed to say I ever served a branch whose morals have really suffered. I can walk into the Commissary on any given day and have a dependent cut me off in check-out and get the "my husband's an NCO so don't mess with me" glare. Being married to someone of higher rank does NOT create a privilege for a dependent to act any sort of way.

Lastly I would like to say this. The only thing that should be celebrated are promotions, awards, and holidays spent at home instead of overseas, not the fact that the sponsor IS a certain rank, nor the fact that they go to work everyday. Unless he is overseas, he is no different than anyone working a blue collar job, he's just held to a higher standard, which includes higher morals. A dependent should NEVER assume they wear their spouse's rank. They are your spouse first, soldier second, followed by their rank. My husband is a PFC, as was I when I was in, but I don't go around advertising it or demanding any form of recognition for it, nor would I if he were a CPT. He is my husband, plain and simple, and when in civilian attire his rank isn't seen anyway. This woman in particular wants way too much for way too little. If she's adamant about the rank, i would suggest she go through basic and EARN the rank she thinks she deserves to wear so badly.

Forgive any bitterness, but subjects and people like this really get under my skin.

Response by HN Shawna Knapp made Feb 17 at 2017 1:43 PM

HN Shawna Knapp — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 13:43:50 -0500

I was AD and a dependent. No...just NO. She didn't "earn" ANYTHING. Her husband did. She's the worst kind of dependant and gives the rest of us who DON'T act like that a bad name. If I was her husband, I would be ashamed to show my face in public with her. I was a Marine Corps wife for 11 years. I NEVER laid ANY claim to any special treatment or consideration just bc I was married to him. (Although I was a better Marine than he ever was, but that's another story altogether.) This chick needs a boot to the face!

My husband has a CIB. His comment when I read this to him "A CIB is easier to get than an EIB. You wanna impress me, show me your EIB. She's humiliating her husband." I don't think it gets much simpler and clear cut than that!

Response by GySgt Andrew Webster made Feb 17 at 2017 4:23 PM

GySgt Andrew Webster — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 16:23:18 -0500

Completely insane bitch who deserves to be shamed on FB. Unless you sign the dotted line and serve, don't EVER say shit about you "serving" or you deserve anything. What a fu*king disgrace to her husband. He should be dragged outback and taught a lesson for allowing this nut job to even post shit like this.

Response by Kylie Guagenti made Feb 17 at 2017 4:52 PM

Kylie Guagenti — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 16:52:46 -0500

I'm a kid of 3 parents, 2 grandparents, a brother who got out last year or the year before after being in 10 years, an uncle, and my husband and I will never do this. I do not earn what he does. I'm just there to support him and love him through everything. I do expect whoever is around to respect us both as a couple. But not at his job. At his job they should he respected anyway if that makes sense. But as a wife, it is a lot. The separation, distance, a everything else sucks. But thats obviously the life we got ourselves into. But like I said I dont work for what he does.

Response by Jill Chase made Feb 17 at 2017 5:01 PM

Jill Chase — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 17:01:22 -0500

Being a supportive military spouse is such an important part of our military personnel success. Not having to worry about things at home drew them to do what's needed in crucial situations all over the world. Spouses and families deserve recognition and all the kudos. But they need to support each other and not be in competition with other ranks or branches, but come together as community, serving one purpose.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Feb 17 at 2017 7:04 PM

SSG (ret) William Martin — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 19:04:18 -0500

It's all shenanigans. What ever it takes to cut in line at the commissary.

Response by SPC Will Parsons made Feb 17 at 2017 8:07 PM

SPC Will Parsons — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 20:07:47 -0500

No... Just no. This shit is what gets my blood boiling. I have seen this way too many times when I was in. These wives think they out rank us on post and all that bullshit. If the SMA's wife ever showed up on post and started telling me to do anything I would tell her to fuck off and walk away. Plain and simple. I know they are wives of soldiers but they don't have any say so in what happens at all. They are there for support and FRG meetings for that "manditory fun" bullshit. If a wife of a soldier is treated right she won't have to try to push lower ranking soldiers around. Anyways. Rant over.

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2017 8:54 PM

PV2 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 20:54:56 -0500

She's a joke

Response by Shannon Besse made Feb 17 at 2017 8:56 PM

Shannon Besse — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 20:56:22 -0500

Disgusting

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2017 10:21 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 22:21:47 -0500

Omg.... women like this are why we get asked who our sponsors are and asked by their battles if we think we wear our husbands rank.... no lady I earned my rank and wear it proudly. I've been the military spouse as well and it sucked. Now sit your wannabe behind down or join. Oh and btw, being a POG is better than being a dependa any day. We are the ones who supply grunts

Response by Roza Ivanov made Feb 17 at 2017 11:12 PM

Roza Ivanov — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 23:12:22 -0500

In normal circumstances I have the utmost respect for military spouses. This woman however needs a reality check. The awards earned by her husband are his. They are not hers. I come from a long line of military personnel dating back to world war 1 as far as I know. Never would I or anyone in my family take the credit for our family service members that we did not earn ourselves.

Response by Heather Mengwasser made Feb 18 at 2017 12:04 AM

Heather Mengwasser — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 00:04:12 -0500

Suck it up buttercup. You don't deserve his same respect. Saying stuff like that disgrace you. He earned it not you.

Response by CPL Sandra Wilson made Feb 18 at 2017 12:09 AM

CPL Sandra Wilson — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 00:09:18 -0500

This has to be a joke! Your attitude is childish! Your job is to be a good dependent who does their best to support your active duty spouse so he can do his job! She must have forgotten her role. No one told her that her husband has earned his BENEFITS and she's PERMITTED to use them. She is only a GUEST and her husband is held responsible for his dependents. Guess what? You're a DEPENDENT! You have earned nothing! Her job is to take care of the home and support the Service Member so he can do his job! That is the only reason she's PERMITTED on Post! Somehow I think she won't be around long!

Response by SGT Gravch Leigh made Feb 18 at 2017 12:17 AM

SGT Gravch Leigh — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 00:17:23 -0500

Lady, unless you walked a day in combat boots, you got your due. I've been a soldier and and spouse. It's definitely easier being a spouse. You haven't earned a dang thing your husband earned. After I got out, I got my own degree so that if something happens to my sweet, loving, providing man, I could support us as well as he has. However, one thing I've never defined myself by are his accomplishments. So, no, you don't deserve the respect he gets for his accomplishments. You deserve the respect you get for yours and supporting him.

Response by Crystal Hennigan made Feb 18 at 2017 12:32 AM

Crystal Hennigan — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 00:32:31 -0500

Not today honey. Not today.

Response by SSgt Gerry Schiller made Feb 18 at 2017 1:30 AM

SSgt Gerry Schiller — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 01:30:34 -0500

She can find legit ways to be useful and productive to said husband's unit... Key wives? Otherwise... shut up and stop riding your spouse's curtails.

Response by Allison Fisher made Feb 18 at 2017 1:31 AM

Allison Fisher — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 01:31:19 -0500

I personally despise military spouses that think "THEY" earned anything. I'm an army wife, and know damn well I didn't do shit. My HUSBAND did it all. His accomplishments, his rank, are all his own. I'm just here for love and support. My brother is AirForce, and his wife always posts to Facebook "We got a promotion" and I hate her for it. He got promoted, not her! He got a pay raise, not her. He was awarded for excellence in the band, not her. Yet she thinks all these are here's to brag about just because she's been supportive and made the move to Japan. Ughgh

Response by CPL Kt Reynolds made Feb 18 at 2017 3:32 AM

CPL Kt Reynolds — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 03:32:53 -0500

According to the VA and Army, I have 80% and I'm not considered retired. They stated you have to be at 100% disability as not being able to work.

Response by Paisley Red made Feb 18 at 2017 5:47 AM

Paisley Red — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 05:47:53 -0500

While, I will agree as the wife of a veteran, and married to him when he was active that it takes a strong person and extra work on behalf of the service member's spouse to do a good job of maintaining a happy and healthy home environment, the spouse is in no way entitled to the small tokens of gratitude granted to the service member, unless it is intentionally stated for families or spouses.

Just as the service member would not be entitled to free lunch at the spouses place of employment should the spouses employer decide to offer such perks.

For a spouse to feel that he or she is entitled to be treated like the service person during times of recognition and thanks is the equivalent of stealing the gold star stickers and spelling bee trophies from your children after they have done all the work!

Thank you for supporting your spouses, but allow them their recognition and accolades for all the hard work that they do, without encroachment

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2017 10:15 AM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 10:15:56 -0500

Yeah I get it, it's difficult to be a spouse who stays back while your counter part is in deployment but that's why their status card say dependeant and they get most of the privileges that we do and that's fine but let an o-1 wife come through the gate and demand a salute, that causes problems for me

Response by Jane Warren made Feb 18 at 2017 10:58 AM

Jane Warren — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 10:58:06 -0500

I dont see how she should be treated like a vet or like a soldier she didn't get deployed. Yes I understand that it is hard to be family of military memberabd you should have recognition and support based on that. But not the same treatment as someone who actually physically went over there and fought

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2017 1:30 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 13:30:13 -0500

I really cannot understand where this sense of entitlement comes from...My father was active duty so I was raised a military brat, my mother never acted in such a fashion. I do respect military spouses and the sacrifices they make but there is no reason to act like you are entitled to respect. Everyone has to earn it.

Response by Aimee Chase made Feb 18 at 2017 1:55 PM

Aimee Chase — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 13:55:29 -0500

I laugh at people like this.. The rank you SO has gotten is NOT YOURS, did you go to basic spend weeks at a time in the dirt getting bloody and beaten up? Did you sit there have people with (occasional) bad breath up in your face belittling you? I highly doubt it... The rank that is given to your SO is theirs not yours.. I'm an Army wife whos husband is soon to retire from the military and join the police force. I cant wait to deal with the police wives who think they are above the law

Response by PO3 Cindy Rivera made Feb 18 at 2017 4:01 PM

PO3 Cindy Rivera — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 16:01:09 -0500

Our titles and achievements are earned our families deserve respect for being supportive WE deserve the respect of our rank

Response by SPC Amy Tilus made Feb 18 at 2017 4:10 PM

SPC Amy Tilus — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 16:10:54 -0500

Oh dear lord. You didn't earn shit. You sat at home

Response by Cpl Ian Phillips made Feb 18 at 2017 5:21 PM

Cpl Ian Phillips — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:21:43 -0500

My soon to be ex wife earned her masters degree while I was still on active duty. I can't claim to have a master's in counseling any more than she can claim to be a US Marine. I'm just saying, that's how it works. If you can't put it on YOUR resume, it's not yours. She doesn't understand a rifle any more than I understand a substance abuse patient in a mental facility. My being in the marine corps was hard for her, and I respect that to an extent, and I respect her drive to push through and finish her education while having to do double and sometimes triple the work of a civilian spouse.

That being said, I have absolutely zero respect for someone who uses their spouse's achievements to Boulster their own self esteem. That's called codependency folks.

Response by LCDR William Breyfogle made Feb 18 at 2017 5:22 PM

LCDR William Breyfogle — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:22:46 -0500

Response by SGT Anna Kleinschmidt made Feb 18 at 2017 5:23 PM

SGT Anna Kleinschmidt — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:23:30 -0500

I saw that with some wives. Didn't like it didn't put up with it. Lived in apartments off post when husband was MSG and the spc wife was suprised I was nice to her and became friends. When pcs'd and he became BN 1st Sgt myself and the BN Col wife did not put up with it at all we had a family support meeting and let them know that we didn't care what their husbands rank was or ours for that matter but hat we were all the same. Our husbands earned the rank not us. Of course there were issues with others in other commands. We just sat back and made fun of them. They acted and looked like fools. I liked to put them in their place because I had rightfully earned my veteran status!

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2017 5:31 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:31:05 -0500

While dependents do more than can be imagined by most to keep everything afloat, I would wager those are also the women sick of the stereotypes and not the ones with all the attitude. The SM needs to let them know to chill and also to give them their props so they don't try and force it upon us give them credit.

Response by Nicolette DeGiovine made Feb 18 at 2017 7:27 PM

Nicolette DeGiovine — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 19:27:24 -0500

Woah. My husband and I both went through a lot when he was away but I would NEVER in my life demand to be treated like a vet. A waitress tried to give me a veteran discount once and I was like, "No way! I appreciate it and we both made sacrifices but I did not earn that uniform. I didn't sign a contract and I didn't sign over my life." I don't even understand that type of wife mindset that demands that.

Response by PO3 Chery McLemore made Feb 18 at 2017 7:36 PM

PO3 Chery McLemore — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 19:36:29 -0500

You want a rank? Walk your ass down to the recruiting office and sign up. Bottom line, you are a dependent not active duty. Sounds like your husband needs to dig his balls out of your purse and put you in your place.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Feb 18 at 2017 8:29 PM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 20:29:21 -0500

The Dependa is a mythical creature

Response by PO3 Hannah Moss made Feb 18 at 2017 11:16 PM

PO3 Hannah Moss — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 23:16:57 -0500

Having been honorably discharged and now a dependent, I think a lot of women have their heads right, and others are, in the politest of terms, naive. Remember, the wives that haven't served themselves have a limited perspective. Especially stay at home wives, they've only seen their man do well with their support. They don't see what goes on in the work day, so it makes sense that's how they see things. But THEY ARE NAIVE. It's the same level as a kid bullying another kid because "my dad is better than yours". I will openly call women out on that bullshit when they take it as far as thinking they deserve an award. It's a childish way for women to form a hierarchy... and a good majority of dependents recognise that dependa's are cringe worthy to say the least.

Response by PV2 Kayla Bowser made Feb 19 at 2017 4:15 AM

PV2 Kayla Bowser — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 04:15:35 -0500

My opinion is that if people like this want the same respect and notoriety they need to sign the dotted line as well. You don't get to just ride on your spouse's coattails, and expect the same treatment he or she gets.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2017 4:38 AM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 04:38:16 -0500

Fuck no

Response by CPL Elizabeth Fellman made Feb 19 at 2017 5:55 AM

CPL Elizabeth Fellman — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 05:55:59 -0500

My husband and I both served. If she wants to be a vet then stop using his hard work and join herself.

Response by Claire Wyndham made Feb 19 at 2017 8:32 AM

Claire Wyndham — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 08:32:50 -0500

No, they don't "deserve" any if the "benefits". Sorry.

Response by SPC Rachael Lavertu made Feb 19 at 2017 9:47 AM

SPC Rachael Lavertu — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 09:47:15 -0500

As a veteran and now a military spouse I despise being a "dependent" because then I get compared to women like this. I have never felt bad for a military spouse because you know what you are signing up for before you get married. I refuse to treat a military spouse better because she didn't cheat on her husband. Congratulations you were a wife and upheld your vows.

Response by MSG Jay Jackson made Feb 19 at 2017 9:59 AM

MSG Jay Jackson — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 09:59:57 -0500

Any wife of a service member should be informed that they have no rank or standing in regard to a husbands or wives rank! On the other side service members should realize that you cannot just go off on a wife because she is trying to be her husband. Not all wives are this way and only a few have earned the DEPENDA title. The majority work hard to build lives and raise children while dad is off playing X Box on deployment (Sorry I could not let the SM off with out a jab).

Response by Christy Ferguson made Feb 19 at 2017 10:05 AM

Christy Ferguson — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:05:56 -0500

I think it's absurd. You support your family member for their hard work. I can't take credit for a doctor's life saving decisions just because I work next to him/her. Sure I put in hard long hours and clean and care for that person after the dr leaves and I stay. But it's called team work and a supportive role. And no one is better than anyone, sure a military wife struggles and puts in long hours and holds the fort down, but you can't claim a rank you didn't earn.

Response by Capt Lisa Raines made Feb 19 at 2017 10:33 AM

Capt Lisa Raines — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:33:38 -0500

I personally do not like when a dependant wears their spouses rank. Respect whether or not it is earned or due to rank/position and is provided as such to the military member only. Yes i know that it takes a strong support system at home to put up with the long hours...deployments...schools...missed bdays...kids sports..late night calls...last minute leave cancellations to make the marriage last and for the member to do well in the military...and they have all my respect for that...but dont act like i owe u something...be proud of your spouse...and let it be their glorry...

Response by SGT Jennifer Trevino made Feb 19 at 2017 12:13 PM

SGT Jennifer Trevino — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 12:13:22 -0500

This is disgusting

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2017 4:31 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 16:31:04 -0500

This chick is stupid. Well all have a hard time when our husbands are gone. Does t mean you need to make a bigger fucking deal than the soldiers themselves do. Honestly people who do this shit are attention whores.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2017 5:28 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 17:28:56 -0500

This drives me nuts. I have been on both sides active duty, and married to a soldier (I refuse to use army wife as the connotation isn't exactly positive anymore). I loved supporting my husband, and having been there myself I had a great perspective of things I could do to help and a good understanding of what was going on. I expected other spouses to have a similar team and support for one another, as they knew the civilian side of it. Absolutely not the case. I was greeted by folks like this lady above, and another at an frg meeting that said dumb young soldiers, getting married to even dumber women. Then prattle on about how her husband was a combat vet, an just became an officer so I should consider saluting her too. Turns out he had just made E-5. Blew my mind, and have been pretty jaded on it sense. My hats off to the men and women who stand on the sidelines, supporting their loved ones, just wish there were more about.

Response by SPC Sarah Sattelberg made Feb 19 at 2017 8:20 PM

SPC Sarah Sattelberg — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 20:20:48 -0500

This looks photoshopped but if its not its the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I really want to encounter one of these spouses that do act like this one day. I am however very skeptical of this as the quality is shitty and if you look at the text it has a background that is unusual like it was covering up the original text.

Response by Chelsea Asher made Feb 20 at 2017 12:18 AM

Chelsea Asher — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 00:18:15 -0500

No. No no no no. You didn't get recruited, you didn't go to boot, you didn't serve, you married into Tricare and base housing and higher tax returns for popping out babies. Stfu.

Response by SrA Kiesha Shumake made Feb 20 at 2017 4:52 AM

SrA Kiesha Shumake — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 04:52:34 -0500

Wow. This is too much. She didn't earn anything. She didn't have to recall or deploy. She didn't go through basic training. She's a dependent and should be treated as so.

Response by Sasha Prokopchuk made Feb 20 at 2017 9:24 AM

Sasha Prokopchuk — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 09:24:45 -0500

That B is delusional

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2017 10:34 AM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 10:34:48 -0500

She has no rank and she no respect for me regardless if her husband has a higher rank than me or higher than anybody. Shes just trying to act all special. If you want to be respected join the military yourself and achieve rank. Fuck that bullsht

Response by Karlee Miland made Feb 20 at 2017 10:52 AM

Karlee Miland — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 10:52:09 -0500

This is so unbelievably arrogant. No matter how long my husband will be serving I will not take credit for all his hard work. Her husband went into work 4+ hours early, worked a ~15 hr shift, was deployed for 9+ months, and she probably sat on her butt and did nothing. I do believe that the job a a military spouse is VERY important. We are supposed to be their rock, we are supposed to be strong in the places and situations that they can't. As a military spouse I know that we are already well assisted by the government, and very well taken care of when a spouse is on deployment, to ask any more is selfish. And the fact that this women thinks she is deserving of the same treatment our combat vets or ANY vet for that matter is discusting. Thank you to her husband, though, for his service.

Response by SPC Joyce Parris made Feb 20 at 2017 11:04 AM

SPC Joyce Parris — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 11:04:30 -0500

Well as both a Vet and a spouse of a grunt i think its crazy. He did the work not her. I will treat every wife just like that a wife nothing more nothing less

Response by LCpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2017 12:28 PM

LCpl Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 12:28:30 -0500

I didn't know people like this existed o.O

Response by Haylie Cross made Feb 20 at 2017 3:30 PM

Haylie Cross — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 15:30:43 -0500

She and anyone else who thinks they deserve their sponsers rank and medals needs to sit the eff down...My father is retired, husband is currently active duty and guess what they did all the work to deserve their ranks and achievement medals, i had nothing to do with their hard, all i can take credit for is being a supportive person in their corner for they succeed or fail. Until these women go threw basic, complete any form of training and put the uniform on themselves they can suck a fat cock cuz they arent better than me or anyone else that goes for officers wives too!

Response by CPL Angie Williams made Feb 20 at 2017 7:10 PM

CPL Angie Williams — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 19:10:32 -0500

I definitely respect the position of a spouse and all they endure. I myself was both the Soldier, and when I got out my husband stood in, so I took the roll of the dependent. Even though I am also a veteran and have a different perspective from the spouse/ dependent who isn't a veteran I believe the dependent is NOT the Soldier, they are NOT the rank and their battle is a completely different one in which each of them support each other. Your spouse was the one who made the decision to serve this country, they were the ones who signed their name away on a (bunch) of papers, they made that commitment to this country NOT YOU, you made the commitment to your spouse when your marriage certificate (BIG DIFFERENCE). For a dependent to have the audacity to say the things this spouse/dependent said and to have the nerve to end it with "start pushing" is beyond disrespectful. I respect the roll you play, but you have to understand what your roll is and stay in your lane.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2017 9:29 PM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 21:29:35 -0500

I've never had any dependants, nor was I ever one of an active duty family. Both of my adoptive parents are retirees (Navy and the Corp), my biological father, not so much. He was a convicted felon, several times over. The only thing I've experienced in my life that might slightly resemble a dependants stresses would be wondering when my dad was coming home after his sentence ran up. Now, I don't proudly take the name of a convicts son, I don't wear that like a medal like some of these dependants do. And I believe neither should they, they deserve a thank you for "letting" your loved one serve our country. Dependants already get some pretty good stuff. I'd let it stay where it is. People just need to quit being sour asses and saying they earned the rank and recognition of there spouse, GTFO with that bull shit. Serve your time and earn it yourself, don't piggy back off your hubby. Those dependants who did serve, thank you for your service. Keep doing what you're doing.

Response by Dee Armstrong made Feb 20 at 2017 9:34 PM

Dee Armstrong — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 21:34:38 -0500

This is just stupid! I was born while my father was in Vietnam. I grew up a military "brat". I married someone in the Air Force. Divorced and married a Air Force Veteran several years later. I have a son that served in the Navy and I have a son in the Air Force. My whole life has been centered around the military. I support the Military with my whole heart and soul. However, I DO NOT deserve the same recognition as OUR Veterans. THEY are the real heroes!

Response by SSgt Katie Doyle made Feb 21 at 2017 5:20 AM

SSgt Katie Doyle — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 05:20:47 -0500

I'm a veteran, my husband is a Commander. I am not a Commander, I'm a spouse that loves and supports my Hero. Being married allows me benefits that make military life more convenient, medical, shopping, discounts. I don't wear his rank, only he does. I wear his heart, and he is my rock. Easy, no. Worth it, yes.

Response by MSgt Thunder One made Feb 21 at 2017 2:45 PM

MSgt Thunder One — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 14:45:14 -0500

First, both my wife and I served 20 years each, so the concept that a non-working or working dependent deserves the same level of consideration or respect is total bullshit. I also sat in the 1Sgt seat for more than 2 years . . . . saw more than my share of "stay at home Moms" who thought it was wrong they could not wear their husbands rank. It was and always will be my pleasure to correct and berate any spouse who is not serving who thinks their so called sacrifice of being at home alone remotely compares to a driving into work and being told to grab your mobag and you're gone till they tell you that you are going home. NOPE . . . . there are single soldiers who are combat and peace-time service members who get along just fine . . . that alone proves the point how little value dependents are to the branch, the country and to their active duty spouse . . . . in fact I would go so far, they as a rule created MORE hardship for those serving than good. So with that lets stop creating safe places where delusional dependents can falsely believe they are contributors . . . . what they are good for is taking half your pension for doing absolutely nothing to deserve it.

Response by 1SG Gerald Zachary made Feb 21 at 2017 9:12 PM

1SG Gerald Zachary — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 21:12:58 -0500

That was a prevalent feeling by officer and senior enlisted wives in the 1970s when I enlisted.

Response by PO3 Preston Fletcher made Feb 23 at 2017 2:40 PM

PO3 Preston Fletcher — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 14:40:30 -0500

This world cries about everything. Are you really shocked by these assholes anymore? They want to be treated like their Spouse. Try being faithful when the spouse is on deployment first. Then we will talk your free hamburger.

Response by SSG Jim Beverly made Feb 23 at 2017 9:42 PM

SSG Jim Beverly — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:42:49 -0500

When I was in, I was a pharmacy tech for the bulk of my career. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "Do you know who my husband is?" I'd be driving a Ferrari.

Response by SSgt Mark Mynhier made Mar 7 at 2017 6:57 AM

SSgt Mark Mynhier — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 06:57:50 -0500

A true story witnessed by me: Woman is standing in line, at the back of the line, at the BX (Air Force) and we are chatting. Nice lady, few years older than me, very polite. Another woman starts walking to the front of the line and says please move, I'm Colonel {Smith}'s wife. The lady behind me says "I'm General {Jones}' wife, you can get behind me." The Colonel's wife promptly gets too embarrassed to continue making her purchase and leaves. The lady behind me WAS the General's wife (I had photographed her with her husband prior), and handled the situation properly. Dependents don't carry the rank and shouldn't have the privileges and a bit of humor goes a long way in diffusing an otherwise awkward situation.

Response by Sgt Den OBrien made Mar 7 at 2017 7:41 AM

Sgt Den OBrien — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 07:41:47 -0500

Duffel Blog and Rally Point interconnected now?

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2017 8:00 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:00:55 -0500

My wife has been a military spouse for close to 30 years with 2 branches, USAF reserves and USN. She has never regarded herself as military but I think because she has had to hold down the fort for my deployments, she does deserve some type of recognition. But for this spouse to believe she has earned her spouses rank, badges, etc, and believes she is better than everyone else is a little over the top.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2017 8:05 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:05:15 -0500

My opinion is that the Facebook post that you included as an example is written tongue-in-cheek. I've seen some spouses that wear their other half's rank on their sleeve ... but nothing that comes close to what is in that Facebook comment. It is just a bit too overdone to be anything other than satire, IMV

Response by LCpl Teresa Safranske made Mar 7 at 2017 8:18 AM

LCpl Teresa Safranske — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:18:40 -0500

Are you kidding me, who the hell does she think she is. No she doesn't deserve the respect her husband does and just the fact that she would post something like that shows just how much she doesn't

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2017 8:53 AM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:53:30 -0500

You are talking about Army and I was Air Force but sometimes, very infrequently you would see a female spouse wearing a small lapel pin with her husband's rank.

Also so the story goes in Okinawa there was a long line in the BX and a woman was pushing her way to front of the line saying, "Excuse me. My husband is Colonel so and so the base commander." She supposedly wasn't paying close attention and tried to go around one guy who stopped her and said, "I'm MGen Powers, your husband's boss."

Response by CPT Jenn Dory made Mar 7 at 2017 11:51 AM

CPT Jenn Dory — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 11:51:14 -0500

This makes me think of a quote from Margaret Thatcher, which states: Being a leader is like being a lady -- if you have to tell someone you are, then you aren't. If we squint and look sideways at the sentiment here, if you have to tell someone you deserve respect, then you don't.
There is no excuse for a spouse to put on the rank and expect the same treatment as the military member. S/he didn't take the oath to support and defend the constitution the way the soldier did, and therefore isn't entitled to it. For the example above -- absolutely reprehensible behavior from anyone. If she feels she is in a better position because of the awards and decorations her spouse earned, then she should volunteer her time to help raise up the other women in the community so that they too can participate and support their spouses doing great and wonderful things for their careers. I feel pity for this spouse -- clearly she feels so insecure in her own right that she's got to bluster and posture to take what she thinks she deserves rather than behaving accordingly and receiving it willingly.

Treated like a vet? Nope. You're not one, no matter how much you worked to support the homestead while your spouse was deployed. Treated like an NCO? No again. The respect you're looking for should come from your service member (and on the outside periphery, his unit) for the support you willingly and independently promised to provide when you married a soldier. The rest are his accomplishments. The best you can get from this is a Best Supporting Spouse award, which should come from him in action and word.

PS -- as far as calling them Dependapotamuses....that's just rude, and it should stop. Everyone has a story, and we shouldn't judge them on their looks, what they wear to the commissary, or that they are overweight.

Response by Sgt John Koliha made Mar 7 at 2017 11:53 AM

Sgt John Koliha — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 11:53:42 -0500

So, I remember the Naval Officers' kids driving in and out of the gate to have the Sentry salute them. 'Course we were really saluting the green Officer Sticker on the bumper, but the little brats could spend an afternoon going off and on the base for laughs.

Response by PO1 Robert Johnson made Mar 7 at 2017 11:55 AM

PO1 Robert Johnson — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 11:55:33 -0500

That attitude was prevalent almost as soon as this nation formed it's military. It initially came about because "Officers" were from the gentry and they married from that as well. Back then the grunts and sailors were mostly from low income families and they married from the same class. Since that time women became more independent and moved out of the home for education, employment, social activities. In my time in the Navy, it was mostly officers wives who demanded special treatment, eg, 'I am Mrs. Major Shlumph , I have a hair appointment in an hour and I need to be taken first for treatment of my two week long cold." My response would have been something like; "Yes ma'am, I will be with you as soon as I have finished sewing this sailors' arm back together and make sure that General Jones is stable enough to be transferred to the cardiac ICU, and make sure that Johnny has responded properly to his asthma medication."
but it is not commensurate with their
Having said that, I believe that the spouses of service members have earned the respect of this Nation but it is not commensurate with the rank of their spouses

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2017 2:42 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 14:42:34 -0500

Kindly remind those spouses that their better halves are wearing uniforms, not them.

Response by MSG Michael McEleney made Mar 7 at 2017 3:25 PM

MSG Michael McEleney — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 15:25:26 -0500

The brown ID is for dependents (One who is dependent on another-in some cases the same definition as parasite) Too many dependents including the children seem to think the grade is transferred to them in the absence of the actual grade. A commission is not a title of nobility where If Daddy is the Duke of Dishwater, you're given the curtesy title of Lord Dishwater.

Response by 1SG Dee Ernst made Mar 7 at 2017 5:36 PM

1SG Dee Ernst — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 17:36:20 -0500

Army 1968-1988 Dependass knew how behave ? Want rank enlist ?

Response by TSgt Alan Richard "Rick" Thomas made Mar 7 at 2017 6:16 PM

TSgt Alan Richard "Rick" Thomas — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 18:16:28 -0500

It seems a lot of dependent spouses wear their husband's rank more than the sponsor does. LOL

Response by LCpl Bradley Otto made Mar 7 at 2017 7:57 PM

LCpl Bradley Otto — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 19:57:32 -0500

As a veteran I want to thank all those who stood with their military member while they went aboard or trained for months on end. It's jus as hard to be left at home to deal with "life" as it is to go off on deployment. But they are still a veteran spouse, not the Veteran.

Response by MSG Richard Robinson made Mar 8 at 2017 3:27 AM

MSG Richard Robinson — Wed, 08 Mar 2017 03:27:59 -0500

Although this woman has obvious issues that require professional attention the old adage of the Mil. Spouse rank has been played by many, many senior enlisted as well as warrant and officer wives. Although they should be recognized for their contributions of support to their spouse neither Veterans Day nor the awards received by the Soldier belong to them.

Response by SSgt Michiele Ward made Mar 8 at 2017 10:23 AM

SSgt Michiele Ward — Wed, 08 Mar 2017 10:23:10 -0500

From my understanding, a depandamotamus is a glory whore, massivly over weight spouse. Yes she has to do it all while he is deployed then give up the reigns when he returns. But she/he did not sit down range or follow a convoy in a fuel tanker.
Maybe we need to cut her some slack, but she knew what she was in in for at the onset. Her role is to be there for him when he can't. Not at like we owe her anything special. I am a female combat vet. She probably worries. But does the vets momma.

Response by SSG Robert Waples made Mar 8 at 2017 1:21 PM

SSG Robert Waples — Wed, 08 Mar 2017 13:21:20 -0500

Man.. to hell with that. How about this, you go sit down some where and I couldn't care any less what rank your husband is. You or your husband have a problem with me, you know RIGHT where to find me....
I think its terrible what we have begun to allow in our beloved services. Now we've got spouses walking around like they're the ones with the rank on their collar? " We don't understand what you go through.?" You want a *uckin cookie? YOU don't do much but hold down the fort until he get back. WHICH YOU WOULD BE DOING ANYWAY, EVEN IF YOU WEREN"T MARRIED. So you want a pat on the back for that? How about this: Leave. Pack your stuff, grab your kid and ... go home. If it's soooo tough, being married to a soldier, get ghost. But I bet you won't go will you? Nope. Wanna know why? Cause your from hillbilly Arkansas or south Chicago and there's nothing to go back to. You NEED those benefits. So... sit down and shut up, or.. you know what to do.

Response by 2LT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2017 12:02 AM

2LT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 00:02:12 -0500

This saddens me. While I'm not fully integrated into the military lifestyle (husband is activated reservist that lives 4 hours from his unit and he went reserves from active right after we met) I can't ever seeing myself taking on his accomplishments. I'm in a masters program for Clinical Mental Health Counselors and hopefully get my PhD in Clinical Psych afterwards. The only boundary (which it seems like a boundary issue) blurring that we have is that I have my husband's patches on my service dogs vest (he suggested it) and it makes me a little uncomfortable at times.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2017 1:58 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 01:58:46 -0500

Hahahaha, that is the funniest thing I've ever read.

Response by SSgt Rebecca Hollandbeck Hahn made Mar 9 at 2017 5:47 AM

SSgt Rebecca Hollandbeck Hahn — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 05:47:15 -0500

I have been both AD and military spouse. I felt like my MS status trumped my veteran status while interacting with service members. It was as though the dependent stereotype was applied and all that mattered.
I dealt with the my husband's rank gives me special privileges types when I served and found it nauseating. This issue has been around for as long as there have been military spouses and always will be. I did feel however, that I was still serving just as much or more so as a spouse. All family care fell to me, my life was still just as controlled by the military as to where I lived, my proximity to extended family for support, education challenges, career challenges and dealing with an unappreciative spouse. I hated being a spouse because I was not valued not because I did not wear the uniform any longer. It takes a spouse who is worth their salt to be a supportive team member
and yes, in the scheme of things at times we are forgotten so some act out. Unfortunately it comes across quite ugly and makes the rest of military spouses look like a bunch of dolts who have no ambition of their own.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 13 at 2017 8:01 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 20:01:11 -0400

My opinion is that this is disgusting you didnt earn shit. Ots the same thing as stolen valor in my eyes and needs to stop time meow

Response by SGT Scott Henderson made Mar 28 at 2017 8:06 AM

SGT Scott Henderson — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 08:06:29 -0400

Fucking stupidity. The duffle blog did a story on this back in 2012 I think. Show her this chart- the bitch will probably think it's real.
http://www.duffelblog.com/amp/2012/07/pentagon-releases-preliminary-military-spouse-rank-chart/

Pentagon Releases Preliminary Military Spouse Rank Chart

WASHINGTON, D.C. —The Pentagon has released a preliminary artist rendering showing a chart of the proposed military spouse ranking system. The chart released late last night reflects ranks set forth by the Pentagon under the newly formed Spousal Code of Civilian Justice, with the ranks of S-1 through S-9.

Response by GySgt D Jerome Watkins made Mar 28 at 2017 8:18 AM

GySgt D Jerome Watkins — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 08:18:01 -0400

I retired 9 years ago, but my stance on this is the same today as it was back then. I do not care who your husband is or what his rank is. His rank is his because he earned it. He went to Boot Camp or Officer Candidate school and graduated. You (the Spouse) did not. You are to be respected as any other human being. To expect to be accommodated and/or treated the same as your military spouse is utter nonsense.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Mar 28 at 2017 8:54 AM

SSgt Jim Gilmore — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 08:54:37 -0400

There are trials, tribulations,successes, failures and a whole helluva lot of work for married couples in the military. You give up a lot but at the same time you also gain a lot. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage together during a military career...or even if you are just doing time (one or two termer). That said, the dependents are in fact just that...dependents. Don't get me wrong this is not a diminishing of who you are, what you have endured. You have not deployed to a forward location, faced hostile fire and have not earned a damn thing except your status as a successful military spouse. You do not wear your spouse's rank, awards, uniform or anything else. If you want those things, raise your hand and take the oath.

When I was a young USAF SSgt stationed on the West Coast at a well known base, I encountered the wife of a major who was known to "wear" her husband's rank. A friend and I were getting some things at the BX when this woman cut the line. My buddy, a TSgt told her to get to the back of the line. She said, I'm Major So and so wife. My buddy told her he didn't give a rats ass who she was and to get to the back of the line. Apparently humiliated she left in disgust.

Two hours later my friend and I were summoned to the First Shirt's office. It turned out the woman went home crying to her husband. The Major came looking for us. We figured the defecation was about to contact the rotating oscillator when he told us he wanted to thank us for putting her in her place. Apparently he had been unable to wash the OWC mentality from her mind. My friend got through where no one else could.

The point is, the dependents did not earn the rank or the award. If you want your own, got earn them.

Response by Sgt William Straub Jr. made Mar 28 at 2017 9:34 AM

Sgt William Straub Jr. — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 09:34:02 -0400

You have to be kidding, an enlisted wife spouting this nonsense? CIB? Sorry, when I was still active duty as a Sgt in the USAF, my wife never tried to lord over or demean lower rank. It was my rank, not hers. The only time I remember and enlisted wife doing something regarding her husband's rank, was an E-9's wife helping the younger wives with support, information on benefits, and the like. Now, officers spouses and children thought that carried the rank. When I was at Reese AFB in 1970 the Wing Commanders teen-age daughter would run the Main Gate, speed, disrespect S/P's and all enlisted. The Colonel caught wind of it and sat in my Main Gate shack and waited until she came in. He heard the crap I had to listen to and saw the local guy she had with her. He stepped outside, took her keys and tossed the local off the base. She was ordered to clean the gate shack for a week, lost her car for a month and never permitted to bring anyone on base. Great Colonel.

Response by PO3 John Wagner made Mar 28 at 2017 9:59 AM

PO3 John Wagner — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 09:59:00 -0400

Women marry men thinking they can change them
Men marry women thinking they won't change.

Response by Natalie Krause made Mar 28 at 2017 11:33 AM

Natalie Krause — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:33:18 -0400

This just solidifies the reasons why I keep to myself and worry about my life only. For one, I am too busy to do anything else, thank goodness. I became a military spouse late in the game; I have zero kids, working on my second master's degree, and work full time. It was important for me to take care of myself before marrying anyone or committing to someone long-term. The thought that "I deserve recognition because it's hard being a spouse" has never crossed my mind. What blows my mind, and makes me want to shake these spouses, is that they didn't take the time to experience life on their own (going to college, etc.), they are all ridiculously young with a thousand kids.

Response by CW3 Steve Kuryla made Mar 28 at 2017 2:27 PM

CW3 Steve Kuryla — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 14:27:50 -0400

First and Foremost SSG Zimmer, you gotta start posting WARNING Notices...... I was drinking coffee and snorted it out. my nose when I read "Dependapotamus"......O. M. G. I'll answer more when I get up off the floor!!
Chief

Response by 2LT Will Lockhart made Mar 28 at 2017 4:12 PM

2LT Will Lockhart — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 16:12:40 -0400

It's the way it is. All wives of men of power, tend to act as though that power is shared. We see this all the way up to the White House. It's just an institutional culture and it will never change.

Response by SSgt Michael Cox made Mar 29 at 2017 12:19 PM

SSgt Michael Cox — Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:19:31 -0400

I have seen both sides of the coin from the 14 years and five duty stations I was stationed at. I had some really good spouses that would volunteer on base and try to make things better for everyone. They would also call the First Sargent and ask for assistance if they needed it. But I have also seen the bad side. I have had a spouse barge into the Chiefs while I was in a meeting with him bitching about needing to bring her husband back from his training TDY and he was only gone two days. I have also seen a Col. spouse park in the Col. spot saying do you know who my husband is. I have also seen spouses in the exchange or commissary demanding to be moved to the front of the line even during lunch when signs clearly say uniformed personnel first during these hours.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 29 at 2017 12:40 PM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:40:27 -0400

WOW. So the answer is obviously hell no-- spouses do NOT hold the rank or entitlements of their military partner. They contribute to the mission, but damn, it's just not the same.

Response by Emerald S made Mar 29 at 2017 3:01 PM

Emerald S — Wed, 29 Mar 2017 15:01:40 -0400

perhaps when reading the snippet of comment then adjoined question. there is a disconnect .. both male /female have a bit edgy moment . both people can ask for respect to a statement... but then ,one has the indicated assurance of her husband . gosh one could go on and on like a soap opera tv thing. finger pointing,+ like a children having temper control issues (never mind that part~)pretty please. since when did mind reading get taught , ok aside from psi /(never mind that to) there are just so many question that could be raised to the point of tediousness. only all about = 2 separate normal people whom have no idea about each other ... and the one whom re-posted the comment ~ consider chat with that one that posted that comment shown. just a though. gotta go out in the pouring rain with horses ,nothing like mucking about in the rain... take care all

Response by 1SG Mike Discher made Mar 30 at 2017 5:40 PM

1SG Mike Discher — Thu, 30 Mar 2017 17:40:48 -0400

Having watched our youngest Son leave for multiple combat deployments, I have a much deeper appreciation for military families. I now know it is much easier to deploy then send someone you love. Having said that, there is no damn way rank and awards should be "transferable." Respect for the families but there is no Mrs.CIB or Mr. Purple Heart!

Response by SGT Josh Suchoski made Apr 4 at 2017 9:03 AM

SGT Josh Suchoski — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 09:03:39 -0400

Two pieces of advice. First, soldiers need to reign in their wives. If my wife acted like what I saw above, there would be some reality correction involved. Second, do what your rank can handle. I had a CSM's wife that regularly called the battalion and demanded all sorts of things. I saw a soldier strung up because he lipped off to the CSM's wife. She was wrong and the soldier was right, but in the end, if you piss off those above you, the result is the same.

Response by SSgt Rick Glime made Apr 4 at 2017 12:38 PM

SSgt Rick Glime — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 12:38:46 -0400

Okay, how many of you worked in the medical field and were constantly harrassed by the dependa? I worked in an emergency room, and I worked in an allergy/immunization clinic giving "Well baby" shots (2, 4, 6 mos.) I learned early on to hate the mentality of the dependa, especially the ones that were frequent flyers of the emergency room. They only came in for the attention. It really put a bad taste in my mouth for working in medicine, period. Burned me out fast!

Response by SGT Wayne Coulter made Apr 4 at 2017 4:33 PM

SGT Wayne Coulter — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 16:33:28 -0400

We really didn't have this problem when I was with the Ohio Guard... After almost 9 years in the Guard, I transferred to Active duty. When I got to Fort Polk, my wife was invited to join the Family Support Group. I remember that first meeting when the group was first being formed... Our Commander got up to address the group. He asked all the spouses to arrange themselves by rank. The wives milled around and eventually settled down. The Commander smiled and told them how wrong they were. Imagine their surprise when he told them that not one of them held the rank of their military spouse. He did it to make a point, even to his own wife. While you may appoint people to certain positions within the group, the rank of their spouse should never be used to gauge who was in charge within the group.

I was in the Infantry then... Fast Forward a few years after I'd re-classed into the MP Corps. We'd always pull family member wives over for speeding or whatever and you'd always get, "Do you know who my husband is? He's going to be upset when he hears about this." We always took it upon ourselves to note that on the ticket so the sponsor knew what their other halves were up to. They were right though... the sponsors were upset... just not for the reasons they thought they'd be... LOL

I will say this though... I never had any sort of disrespect like that out of spouses with higher ranking sponsors... above Major it was typically unheard of... the worst seemed to be Captains and First lieutenants spouses...

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 5 at 2017 3:26 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 05 Apr 2017 15:26:25 -0400

Honestly, I do feel that families sacrifice a lot, and should be respected. However, post's like this are absurd. Yes, you sacrificed a lot, but you didn't go to basic training, you didn't go to these foreign countries, you didn't put your life on the line for your country, you didn't lead a platoon, or a squad, NO you are not and never will be an enlisted, NCO, or Officer, because you did not serve. Yes you should be respected, but that doesn't not mean being treated with the same exact respect as your soldier, that is not how it works. If my husband EVER tried to pull MY rank on someone, there'd be hell to pay because I'd light his ass up.

Response by PO1 Dinah Goodman made Apr 6 at 2017 3:32 AM

PO1 Dinah Goodman — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 03:32:08 -0400

As both a military Spouse, a former soldier and a current Sailor, the word dependapotomis annoys. Yes, there are lazy wives with superiority complexes but I feel this word is now used to describe any military Spouse. If there are spouses that wear their hubby's rank, they should be put in their place by other spouses immediately. There are however many good military spouses that go above and beyond to support their spouse and the military. Not all of them are fat, lazy slobs on a superiority complex.

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Apr 6 at 2017 9:57 AM

PO3 Donald Murphy — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 09:57:19 -0400

You notice there's no/few Navy people here. That's cuz our wives were too busy planning parties for us when we came back from sea. The base would force the wives to meet every now and then and give them the security over brief, what to say and what not to say about submarine deployments, but after that, most never went on base. Mine didn't.

Response by Capt Dwayne Conyers made Apr 7 at 2017 6:57 PM

Capt Dwayne Conyers — Fri, 07 Apr 2017 18:57:32 -0400

When I was a butter bar, the Major’s wife acted as if she were our deputy.

Response by Dorothea Keyser-Mash made Apr 10 at 2017 4:57 PM

Dorothea Keyser-Mash — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 16:57:41 -0400

My only rank is now and has been for the past 18 years, Wife. I've been called a dependa once and only once. I was quick to say that I was with him before he joined and will be with him after he leaves. I will not tolerate being talked down to and I will stand up to those ego centric people who have the balls to say something so negative about another person. Being a spouse is hard, being a military spouse is hard, being in the service is hard. It's all hard and we don't need to be pulling each other down. We need to build each other up.

Response by MSgt Don Dobbs made Apr 11 at 2017 9:34 AM

MSgt Don Dobbs — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 09:34:38 -0400

I did 24 years and my wife God bless her raised our two boys pretty much alone. We lived on one paycheck (mine) for all those years and she never once claimed any rank or status because of my career. We were married several years before I joined the service. There are dependent wives out there who try to play the rank game and I have more than once reminded them that they are a ZERO. As a retiree I always allow active in uniform to go ahead of me in any line, but dependapotamus NO WAY.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 11 at 2017 9:44 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 09:44:15 -0400

I would have to disagree. My wife has done plenty to earn my respect for who she is and for dealing with life while I have been gone. The idea that she would be thought of as a veteran? No. Especially a combat veteran? NO.
Keeping the home-fires burning is one thing. Being a dutiful spouse--who, by the way, promised to be there in good times and bad. That's another. Show your spouse respect. It is unfair, in my opinion, to suggest others think of a S.O. as someone who is ALSO a combat veteran.

Response by SGT Philip Klein made Apr 11 at 2017 9:52 AM

SGT Philip Klein — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 09:52:54 -0400

This is a real thing?

Response by Cpl Zach Wellborn made Apr 11 at 2017 2:03 PM

Cpl Zach Wellborn — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 14:03:25 -0400

Unless you joined and served I'll never treat you like a Vet. I don't give a shit what you've been through. I earned the right and privilege to call myself a Marine. Being a supportive spouse is your job if you're married. You don't get a gold star for doing what you're supposed to do.

Response by Arsenio Ibay made Apr 11 at 2017 7:02 PM

Arsenio Ibay — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 19:02:50 -0400

What probably gets to the heart of the problem is the word "dependent", which can easily suck the self-worth out of people and set-up the mean-spouse pecking order game which seems to result from loss of identity and worth other than spouse-of-servicemember. even more so when the servicemember doesn't appreciate them either.

Response by SPC Kerrena Wyckoff made Apr 12 at 2017 9:45 AM

SPC Kerrena Wyckoff — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 09:45:38 -0400

It irritates me when they look down on other people because they think they're hot s**t with what their spouse did. The spouse earned the rank not the wife. Yes, you support but you did not go through the crap they have to, to actually earn it. I do give spouses credit because it is not easy being at home while they go through all of this and all you can do is be a cheerleader. Just do not try wear their rank because it does not belong to you.

Response by MSgt Shawn Sones made Apr 12 at 2017 1:44 PM

MSgt Shawn Sones — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 13:44:27 -0400

It's funny, because it's true! (for the most part) I can give you several examples from my military career of dependapotamuses and their mentality; my ex-wife was like this, to an extent. For all who are offended, get thicker skin, political correctness is a bunch of b.s. and needs to be eliminated.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Apr 13 at 2017 10:46 PM

PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 22:46:45 -0400

I have been on BOTH sides-spouse AND soldier. IF you have NOT wore the uniform, DO NOT say RESPECT ME cause my spouse is a _____and that makes me his/her rank. NO it don't I D 10 T (idiot). You did not earn the tabs/ribbons/awards or anything they have cause YOU DID NOT DO BASIC or any of the training. You have one of the most important jobs-keeping the home fires burning for us and caring for us when we stumble. To me that is the most important job a military spouse has cause this helps us keep our minds in the game and safe so we can come home. Then I was too stupid and naive to know this and now I am older,wiser and have seen more. For us-PLEASE don't say you have rank when you don't cause this will get us reamed out IF and WHEN you are caught by others or command.

Just love us, work beside us as our help/soulmates and love us and our children.

Response by Carly Spaulding made Apr 15 at 2017 10:17 PM

Carly Spaulding — Sat, 15 Apr 2017 22:17:01 -0400

Personally I think that wives who think that because their husbands are military and hold rank means that they do to is bullshit. Don't get me wrong being a military wife myself I know how hard it is but I in no way think that because my husband is in the navy and holds rank means that I do too. I never went to bootcamp, corps school, no training whatsoever, never took an advancement test, or a PRT, and I never signed a contract saying I'm joining the Navy. My husband has worked hard for everything he's gotten and just because I've been with him threw all of it doesn't mean that I've done and gone through what he has. Granted I do think that military wives do deserve some level of respect because it is hard to do, learning all the rules, dealing with the fact that there is always a chance they will have to leave for months at a time, handling everything when they do leave. It's not for everyone and it's people like the lady who made that comment and others who cheat or blow their spouses money while they are away that give military wives a bad name.

Response by Emily Young made Apr 18 at 2017 8:30 AM

Emily Young — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 08:30:21 -0400

oh my. As the wife of an infantryman, I would NEVER EVER think it's okay to say that! Yes, deployments are tough on spouses, but we're not putting our lives on the line day in and day out. If you want respect for being a military spouse, do it without ever asking for anything, don't think that your husband's rank applies to you- until you enlist and serve, know your role.

Response by SGT Joseph Welsh made Apr 18 at 2017 11:07 AM

SGT Joseph Welsh — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 11:07:02 -0400

Not being around a current large base, I haven't seen it. But it has been going on for years. While stationed at Schofield back in the late 80s there were a few wives of full birds that thought they wore the rank and stuck their noses into both the EM and NCO clubs trying to make lives miserable for the troops.

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2017 11:50 AM

CPL Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 11:50:51 -0400

I was in the reserves for 4 years and had to go IRR for medical reasons. My husband however has active duty for 2 years, so I've been the soul service member and now I'm the dependant with a cac card. He's currently deployed and we had a babygirl 5 months vefore he left and having to raise her plus work plus take care of the house is frustrating. I'd rather have been deployed (love my daughter she just wasnt exactly planned). That being said the only person i look for appraisal or recognition from is my husband. For a long time i was a higher rank than him and never wore his rank ever, because i have my own why wear his? When he surpasses me i will still tell people my rank first when they ask. I respect the dependants however i dont respect dependas, (i.e. someone who wears a SM rank and expects special treatment.)

Response by SMSgt Sheila Berg made Apr 18 at 2017 12:20 PM

SMSgt Sheila Berg — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 12:20:42 -0400

They forget they're only entitled because of the military member.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2017 8:21 PM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 20:21:16 -0400

I remember my Dad (who was an AF brat) say that the rank of the husband, was ultimately the rank of the wife. My Grandfather was a pilot, and there were times that he was a Commander. My Grandmother, was the "Commanders Wife". This was a generation of stay at home Moms, and therefore the wives were VERY active on base. In terms of the wives, the hierarchy mirrored their husbands. So, essentially, my Grandmother was the "Commander" of the wives--a job she not only enjoyed, but took the responsibility seriously.
It was also a time that the actions of your wife and kids could affect you at work. It was a different time and generation. And I get that times have oh-so-changed. Sounds like there's some lingering Old School going on!

BUT!! I disagree with insisting on equal perks, and recognition. They do their job, you did yours. But you're not a Veteran.

Response by SPC Edward Deno made Apr 18 at 2017 9:44 PM

SPC Edward Deno — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 21:44:09 -0400

Having been an MP on 2 different posts stateside, I can honestly say that officers wives are mostly like this with officers' drivers running a close second. When I was stationed at Ft Meade, I would often stop officers' wives for driving too fast or various other infractions. I was always polite because you never know if the driver is the officer or not. It was when they used to say "do you know who my husband is or works for " that gave me the clue. The officers' drivers were the same. "Do you know who I drive for?" I always said, No but it's a good thing he's not in the vehicle or he would the one getting the ticket. That usually shut them up. Ft Meade was First Army HQ so there were a lot of General officers about.

Response by SGT Linda Burgess made Apr 19 at 2017 10:42 AM

SGT Linda Burgess — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 10:42:04 -0400

It's not new. I had my parked car rammed by the opening of another door. When I commented to the spouse her response was "Do you know who my husband is?" My comment "No, and if your husband was a butcher would you wear a pork chop?" She got in her car and made a hasty departure. I called her husband about the 5" dent left in my car and the conversation. He apologized profusely for his wife's rude behavior. I think he was a worthy leader...the wife, not so much.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2017 9:19 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 02 May 2017 21:19:36 -0400

I dont argue the fact that is difficult to be an Army wife but if you did not raised your right hand and enlisted dont think because your significant other is an NCO or an Offi er you deserve that rank, if you want to be treated as such you still in time to enlist and become a Soldier, then earn your rank and your respect instead of thi king that you deserve it because you marry a Soldier.

Response by SGT Louise Hawthorne made May 5 at 2017 8:58 PM

SGT Louise Hawthorne — Fri, 05 May 2017 20:58:30 -0400

I'm a combat vet that was married to a combat vet. To hear you DEPENDENTS gripe, moan, and try to pull rank on each other based upon your SOLDIER'S SACRIFICES, ...
REALLY TURNS MY BIKINIS INTO A WEDGIE.
Your sniping has no place here.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made May 12 at 2017 1:09 AM

PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster — Fri, 12 May 2017 01:09:07 -0400

Here we go again. Open letter.
Dear Spouses:
As a soldier, we value you, but honestly, you are putting YOUR loved ones career in DANGER by saying YOU posses their rank and should be treated as such. Some commands may take that as 'blatant disrespect' and could use NJP (Non Judicial Punishment) on them. Many spouses are DUAL military-meaning BOTH serve, and could take offense to how you are acting. Have you seen a FEMALE Drill Sergeant in action? I have and it is NOT pretty cause they will tear anyone apart and smile as they do it. I am now a veteran and put it on the line, just like your spouse. I may have trained at Basic alongside them, bled with them and did my part by serving alongside them.
We have sayings that only uniformed members understand, a 'look' that signals we need help and are willing to help spouses learn, but when one says' I earned rank that is his (haven't seen men doing this) and NEVER went to BCT' or "He has CIB so that means I do too," well, that is making everyone laugh AT YOU! Seriously, anyone in uniform,be they Active/Reserve/Guardsman earns what little we get-it's not done for glory, money, or fame-it is done cause we love our nation and those we leave behind during deployments to help OUR allies.
Please ladies, if you are NOT dual military or haven't served-DON'T act as you have rank, cause that is EARNED and DO NOT act as if you are royalty, cause only ONE is royalty and that is God, the one we pray to asking for safety,protection, mercy and thank for being alive. You ARE needed, appreciated and valued cause you keep the home together, the children fed and safe while they are deployed, and have a 'special sisterhood' few are part of-you may not be military, but you serve in a different way-YOU keep the home fires burning so we soldiers can do our jobs in dangerous situations and come home to be veterans. I am marrying a fellow veteran soon and willing to help anyone as much as I can, so IF you need a friendly ear, just ask and DON'T say you have rank, cause that is your spouses and yours if dual military.
Pam aka Mom

Response by SGT Eric Knutson made May 14 at 2017 10:42 AM

SGT Eric Knutson — Sun, 14 May 2017 10:42:58 -0400

When I was in, I believe it was called the Post Command SUPPORT team, where the wives of the senior officers AND enlisted would be organized to be there for the families who stay to the rear. At that time the Post CG wife would have gotten the respect for 2 reasons ONLY, 1, we respected our elders, plain and simple, 2, since also back then divorce was still happening, but rarely, it is most likely that she has been married to her husband almost since the beginning of his career, then it would be expected that she has learned the ins and outs of military life. This is likewise same to all the spouses down the ranks (sorry ladies, not listing you as the AD member just take it as assumed either gender applies in my descriptions). BUT even in this, we had women who would incorrectly assume their husbands rank or title and sometimes would need to be put down (this is NOT YOUR JOB) and usually by someones wife further up the food tree in seniority (time wise, been around 14 years married to a SFC or 1stSGT, to Mrs CPT who has only been around about 3-5 maybe) This is because, like us, they learn more every year they are around, and become more sure of themselves in both Knowledge and Skill sets. Therefore they are accorded respect of certain levels. However at the end of the day, they are NOT in the Military, NOT having to wear the Uniform of the Day, and are therefor NOT their husbands rank.
My observation to this I will close out with this, duty or spouse, when they act like that, it seems to me that they are themselves VERY insecure in their position in the world and us that as a way to over compensate for something (remember leaders do not have to grab their collars and say because I AM THE insert rank here) if you are a real leader, then you also know how and when to follow and the troops will follow you (regardless of what is on every ones collars) because YOU are the one who is most likely to get the job done and everyone home safe after. Your spouse gets a similar level of respect based on HER qualifications (not formal, but still quals) of how long have THEY been around the Military, and how do they act to earn (or lose) that respect. That example is for the women who just married a PLTSGT with 22 years experience last month, that he met on deployment 3 months earlier, YOU are NOT him, and you have a LOT to prove (saw that one happen once so I had to throw it in there) But at the end of the day, they are someone's spouse, so you give them respect as a human being and help each other out to get better every day, that is all that anyone can really ask

Response by SP5 Patricia Campbell made May 21 at 2017 6:25 PM

SP5 Patricia Campbell — Sun, 21 May 2017 18:25:30 -0400

I think they're full of it. Their contribution, while valuable, is in no way equivalent to that of the SM. When they get out on on the rifle range, go through boot camp, get shot at or wounded in combat, have to participate in stupid parades, live in tents in cold and the wet and the muck and the mud and the dreadful heat and humidity. and all the other joys of the great outdoors, while eating what is jokingly referred to as "food", and take orders from idiots you KNOW have no business being in a leadership position, then come talk to me. Yes, War Is Hell on the Homefront Too, as the song goes, but it's NOT THE SAME. My mom was a "dependent" - a misnomer if there ever was one, but she was also a veteran, so she was entitled to the respect given a SM. Most are not. They are definitely strong women in their own right, but if they feel the need to identify with their spouse's rank, they have issues they need to work out.

Response by SGT John Gibson made May 23 at 2017 4:39 PM

SGT John Gibson — Tue, 23 May 2017 16:39:36 -0400

I have lots of respect for military spouses, not as much as my brothers and sisters in arms, but almost as much. They go through lots of shit being married to soldiers. But the ones I don't have respect for are the ones that think they are just as good as any veteran. You didn't sign on a line saying that your ass belongs to uncle sam, the line you signed on just says that if things go wrong, you get half of my shit. So when a woman comes walking into a store I work at asking for a military discount and shows me her dependant I'D, I politely tell them that it only works for actual service members and to fuck off. Amazing how entitled these women get over a discount they didn't earn when most vets don't give a shit about whether they get one or not. Most of us realize nobody gives a shit about us and we are just happy when we do get that surprise discount and walk away happy with it.

Response by SrA Winston Stanley made Jun 2 at 2017 8:28 AM

SrA Winston Stanley — Fri, 02 Jun 2017 08:28:18 -0400

Heh, that's why I have TWO ex wives in my six years of AD service. I sometimes wondered if my first one was the one in service and not me.

Response by SN Jesse Young made Jun 3 at 2017 7:29 PM

SN Jesse Young — Sat, 03 Jun 2017 19:29:14 -0400

Is this the real life, or is it just fantasy?

Response by CDR Joel Paine made Jun 6 at 2017 12:24 PM

CDR Joel Paine — Tue, 06 Jun 2017 12:24:45 -0400

Here's another perspective: http://www.duffelblog.com/2017/06/military-spouses-rank-earrings/ :D

Military spouse starts new business selling rank earrings

FORT SILL, Okla. — Amilitary spouse stationed in Oklahoma has risento fame after she began designing and selling this fall’s hottest dependent fashion trend — military rank accessories. “I was always told by my second husband that spouses shouldn’t wear their husband’s ranks,” said Gina Caslen, spouse of Lt. Col. Johnny Caslen. “But I needed …

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2017 2:36 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Jun 2017 14:36:38 -0400

Things like the picture that you shared just makes me laugh! I wouldn't give them the time of day

Response by 1SG Dennis Graves made Jun 9 at 2017 9:45 PM

1SG Dennis Graves — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 21:45:11 -0400

SM wife's do an outstanding duty supporting our solders during their deployment, however the rank of the solders belong only to that SM. I believe all spouses are equal in recognition.

Response by SSgt Dennis Brown made Jun 15 at 2017 12:01 AM

SSgt Dennis Brown — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 00:01:50 -0400

This is something that had gone on for many years... Senior officers wives have always been notorious for thinking they also wear his eagles or stars... But if younger enlisted wives are trying to do the same thing, that's where you've gotta say real loud, WIFE, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY... WHEN AND IF HE RETIRES, YOU WILL GET YOUR CERTIFICATE THANKING YOU FOR SUPPORTING HIM AND THE REST OF THE MILITARY WHILE HE IS DEPLOYED... BUT.... ANY AWARDS HE EARNS, I.E. THE CIB, MSM, SILVER STAR, ETC ARE HIS NOT YOURS... SO SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP AND REMEMBER YOUR PLACE IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS... IF SHE WANTS THOSE AWARDS, THEM SHE NEEDS TO PUT IN THE UNIFORM AND MAKE THE SACRIFICES OF BEING AWAY FROM HOME AND FAMILY AND MISSING THE KIDS GROWING UP... There, I've said my piece

Response by SSgt Jim Sanders made Jun 15 at 2017 4:48 PM

SSgt Jim Sanders — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 16:48:28 -0400

I did my time and my wife did it right along w me. But AT NO TIME did she ever attempt to wear my rank. As an AF Security Forces mbr I obviously knew just about all other Cops I came in contact with. As did she...in return most knew her on sight. But she never threw my name out there, tried abusing my authority or anything like that.

Unlike a lot where we were stationed she actually had a job and refused too not have one. Hell...in fact the sight of others trying to abuse their spouses rank pissed her off.

She has been a "military brat" since the day she was born...as her dad was career Navy. Then she married me and continued it. Never would she be caught dead w the tag of a typical dependa. She didn't marry me just to gain a paycheck or have a place to crash til the next sucker came along. She is a woman w her own brain, ideas and goals

Response by PO3 Lana Mccants made Jun 28 at 2017 10:59 AM

PO3 Lana Mccants — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 10:59:40 -0400

Well to respond to this dumb mess......... OH PLEASE!!!!!! These type of women only show their colors because; (A) they became VERY PROMISCUOUS when their men were deployed (WestPac Widows) or (B) their husbands were sleeping around and they need to make their presence known. I will never forget the lady who constantly harassed me about her CWO husband that could barely make due in the Navy without my help and the help of others. HE had another job outside the Navy to keep up with her spending habits and constant trips, while he barely ate. She should have been thanking me for keeping that money in her pocket. Only to find out that when we were out to sea, she would move in with the HM1 that she was having an affair with for those six months. Yes, I exposed and and NO, I didnt feel bad about it. IF THEY WANT RIBBONS AND BADGES,,,,,,,,,, TAKE THE DAMN OATH!!!!!!! I have no problems recognizing those who stand firm behind their spouses in the military, but DO NOT EVER try to STAND IN THEIR BOOTS!!!!! I wish I would let someone (dependent or spouse) downplay my military experience because even though I am in VETERAN STATUS, I still am feeling pain from ailments that are in my records and I cant get paid for.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Jun 28 at 2017 2:28 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 14:28:21 -0400

Your husband is a combat veteran and earned his CIB*** period***. If you weren't around he would still have a CIB. I suppose you helped him get his wings too. Have him take you on his next deployment

Response by SSG Thomas Barry made Jun 30 at 2017 12:24 PM

SSG Thomas Barry — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 12:24:45 -0400

my Mother doesnt let me use words like that

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 3 at 2017 12:17 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Jul 2017 12:17:31 -0400

I was a single foster parent to several children, then a single parent after adopting one. There was no periodic father, no one to help with laundry or cut grass. I objectively believe the spouses should be viewing deployment periods in similar fashion. Buck up and raise the kids, whether or not the SM is at home or is mentally/physically capable of assisting. That's why there are support groups, government programs, and friends.

Response by Cpl Kelly Lademer made Jul 5 at 2017 4:56 PM

Cpl Kelly Lademer — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 16:56:32 -0400

When I was active duty stationed in Iwakuni Japan, the Commandant of the Marine Corps assembled all of the dependent spouses and had a discussion with them, he started by asking "how many Generals spouses do we have here?" and so forth, until he reached privates so that all of the people were standing. then he said " SIT DOWN! none of you have any rank, your spouse does."

Response by SSgt Rob Millard made Jul 6 at 2017 12:09 PM

SSgt Rob Millard — Thu, 06 Jul 2017 12:09:21 -0400

This is actually a difficult circumstance. Although the woman's FB response was quite overbearing and in my opinion out of place, we have to acknowledge the contributions that our spouses made every day that we were serving.
No, she is not an NCO and is in no way deserving of a CIB, or the accolades that accompany those honors, she is a supporting wife and should never be treated lesser than the wife of the General or Colonel that ordered her spouse off to war while she was forced to maintain a household alone and worry about whether her husband will return. SPC Woody Bullard mentions in an earlier statement about the officer's wives enjoying the salutes rendered at the installation entry points. I too worked many a base gate early in my career and found wives that actually expected the salute and complained when it was not rendered.
In my opinion, the spouse of a military member deserves absolutely no respect in at all for the accomplishments of their military spouses. However, they deserve all the respect in the world for their individual accomplishments as a person in their own rite!

Response by SPC William Rogers made Jul 13 at 2017 11:46 AM

SPC William Rogers — Thu, 13 Jul 2017 11:46:41 -0400

Tell that to my Sister, who had to take care of all the Company's dependence while my Commander Brother in law shipped back the dead Soldiers ahead of his Company. My Sister as a Commander's wife had to head the details sent to the Soldier's Wives and dependence to then tell them they would never see their Husbands and Daddys alive again. That being said, I'd say she deserves a damn meal on the house during Veteran's day. Think only a Soldier can experience PTSD??? Try telling a family their rock is dead once or twice a week, or month, and see how you fair.

Response by SFC Dennis Yancy made Jul 13 at 2017 1:48 PM

SFC Dennis Yancy — Thu, 13 Jul 2017 13:48:37 -0400

Would offer to put them to work if they wanted to be treated as their husband.

Response by TSgt Pennie Snyder made Jul 14 at 2017 1:58 PM

TSgt Pennie Snyder — Fri, 14 Jul 2017 13:58:31 -0400

I served in the Air Force for 20 years and I earned my position as a military member. That being said I also spent 20 years as a military spouse. Honestly, I understand what the dependents feel and think. My husband, a 20-year veteran also understands. Spouses can be worth their weight in gold, on the other hand, they can also be why the military member has a hard time with deployment. I don't really care for spouses who think they should be rewarded based on their husbands rank and or position. The spouse who has supported the military member (or not been supportive) deserves to be rewarded not for who their spouse is but for who they are. Yes, the civilian and military community should do more to honor spouses for all they do. Moving from place to place, giving up great jobs/professions to support their spouses, taking care of everything like being a single parent, etc but in no way should they think they deserve respect based on their husbands rank or positions. They deserve our respect and should respect each other based on their own merits.

Response by SSG Kurt Edwards made Jul 17 at 2017 12:16 AM

SSG Kurt Edwards — Mon, 17 Jul 2017 00:16:01 -0400

During my tenure as an MP, I noticed that newly promoted MAJ's wives tended to be the worst in this regard. Not all, mind you, but I encountered a fair share of what I called "O4-S's" for O4 spouses that tried shaking out orders as if they were wearing the oak leaf clusters themselves! I gently and quietly reminded them that, their contribution to their spouses career notwithstanding, their spouse was indeed the active duty officer so let's let them bark the orders, shall we?

Response by CWO4 Jim Doran made Jul 23 at 2017 1:43 AM

CWO4 Jim Doran — Sun, 23 Jul 2017 01:43:04 -0400

Are you out of your rabbit *** mind. I was sitting in the Fallon, NV O Club a few decades ago. The O Wives Club was having a meeting and the CO was the speaker. He came in and sat down beside me got a drink, chugged it and said he be right back. He walked, looked around the room and said "Ladies I'll be back in a few minutes. While I'm gone p[lease reseat yourselves according to rank." Couple of minutes later he walked back in and said "Ladies, just who in hell signed your f***ing commissions." and walked back to the bar. I agree with him. Ladies your rank is spouse, not SGT, you didn't earn the CIB. Quit acting like you do.

Response by PO2 Michael Henry made Jul 23 at 2017 10:21 PM

PO2 Michael Henry — Sun, 23 Jul 2017 22:21:12 -0400

The spouse did nothing to earn what the vet earned. Want to be treated like a vet, enlist and earn it.

Response by CPT Jim Schwebach made Jul 25 at 2017 1:01 PM

CPT Jim Schwebach — Tue, 25 Jul 2017 13:01:29 -0400

We had a mantra regarding conduct by officers and their wives that we were taught in OCS. "All Officers are gentlemen and all of their wives are ladies." That kind of takes care of the dependapotamus syndrome. I dealt with the Mrs. Colonel Birdhouse's by pointedly ignoring them.

Response by 1stSgt Donald Smith made Jul 27 at 2017 8:58 AM

1stSgt Donald Smith — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 08:58:23 -0400

When I was a 1stSgt my wife help me by interacting with the SNCO's Wife's in my Company and that made my job easier. My wife got the respect as being the 1stSgt wife.

Response by SFC Corrie Meade made Aug 6 at 2017 7:34 AM

SFC Corrie Meade — Sun, 06 Aug 2017 07:34:31 -0400

this is nothing new, been going on since the creation of the army. in the 80's and 90's seem officer and senior nco wives think they had the same rank as their husbands. nothing new, just ignored them, didn't care what they had to say

Response by LTC Mathew Beckstead made Aug 7 at 2017 2:36 PM

LTC Mathew Beckstead — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:36:49 -0400

OK I have a story (insert groans here). When I was a 1 LT at FT McClellan AL, My wife became the President of the Officers Wives Club. Pretty unusual for a LTs wife to do that, but it happened. Anyway we had a Change of Command and the incoming MG wife thought she had stars too and really liked to throw her weight around. She went into the thrift shop one day and started barking orders at the women volunteers and my wife let her have it. She was the Hero of all wives on the post, but it didn't do my career much good. I still love that she stood up for herself and Company Grade Officers Wives though. I was very proud of her.

Response by SSgt Scott Williams made Aug 7 at 2017 4:38 PM

SSgt Scott Williams — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 16:38:02 -0400

Hmmmm, where to start...

NO! The fact that she leaves the male spouses out of her rant weakens the argument. Married SM's don't share each other's achievement, why would a civilian spouse. As a veteran and a child of a veteran, I understand the sacrifices that spouses make, but this is just silliness.

Response by SSgt Jim McGuinness made Aug 10 at 2017 3:40 PM

SSgt Jim McGuinness — Thu, 10 Aug 2017 15:40:29 -0400

Any idiot wife who thinks she rates anything the service member earned needs to be throat punched and corrected by their husband. If he is too weak and pathetic to do so, other service members need to step up.

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Aug 14 at 2017 3:46 AM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Mon, 14 Aug 2017 03:46:28 -0400

When I read about “dependapotamus” all I could do was think of the spouse of a distinguished senior officer now deceased who came home from a conference at the Five Sided Playpen, Puzzle Palace or whatever pejoratives you wish to use for it and grandly announced that he was part of McNamara’s she just looked at him smiled sweetly and asked “Which are you brass or wind?”. I bit my lip so I would not get caught in any potential crossfire. I have on the other hand seen her tear in the spouse of junior officers and tell them that there was more to being an officer’s lady than wearing fancy hats and white gloves at parades and if they didn’t take care of their troopers and their families they weren’t a fart in a hurricane. Actually it was much more shall we say colorful after all she was a horse Cavalry officer’s daughter and had wonderful vocabulary.

Response by Cpl Eric White made Aug 14 at 2017 3:06 PM

Cpl Eric White — Mon, 14 Aug 2017 15:06:02 -0400

Unfortunately stepping into the things that you do rate warrants no respect from me. The work, pain, dedication put into these things is not something to take lightly. I would probably throw up if I heard a dependapotamus claiming a purple heart that their spouse received because they hurt together.... Knowing all the while they didn't take the bullet, shrapnel, etc..... Sometimes I wonder where has common sense gone.

Response by CW2 Fred Baker made Aug 16 at 2017 2:58 PM

CW2 Fred Baker — Wed, 16 Aug 2017 14:58:42 -0400

I find it difficult holding down my laughter!

Response by CPO Frank Forte made Aug 18 at 2017 6:11 PM

CPO Frank Forte — Fri, 18 Aug 2017 18:11:54 -0400

WoW, this is just unhealthy behavior. While significant others do serve and sacrifice, they did not do the deed. In this case they were not in combat. I served and have three sons who are all very accomplished soldiers, they are all married, and none of my daughter-in-laws would dream of doing this.

Response by SPC Byron Skinner made Aug 20 at 2017 2:54 PM

SPC Byron Skinner — Sun, 20 Aug 2017 14:54:37 -0400

Sp4 Byron Skinner. Of course this is all Bull Shit. Perhaps it was better in the mid 1960's when all married troops and dependents wet several miles from the central Fort where the services in a rundown trailer park, often referred to as Dog Patch. In the exchange I think all unformed personal should have front of the line privileges.

Response by Col Jincy Hayes made Aug 24 at 2017 3:04 PM

Col Jincy Hayes — Thu, 24 Aug 2017 15:04:33 -0400

My Dad was in the Army and I had a 30 year USMC career. Although we didn't call them dependapotamuses,, they have been around forever. I recall my Mom griping about spouses who wore their husband's rank "on their underwear". As a Marine, I saw it too. As an adjutant, I had to deal with many disgruntled spouses who thought they should run the place!!!

Response by LTC John Wilson made Aug 26 at 2017 6:54 PM

LTC John Wilson — Sat, 26 Aug 2017 18:54:29 -0400

Spouses are dependents, alas military dependents at that! However, that is where the recognition ends. They do not have the military equivalent of their husband's rank to throw around, nor do they deserve respect for the hard work their husband displays to his command.
They are expected to give recognition to all ranks serving and to promote the health and welfare of their families that live in post quarters. It is not oh look at me ain't I grand, it is see me politely help those of my pay grade or higher and lower.
I can remember stuff from the Post Vietnam days that would make me burn with rage, especially when the wives would meet and dictate power by the rank of their husband. No, never you did not earn it. He or she did. Bless our troops and God bless America.

Response by PO3 Ron Blair made Aug 27 at 2017 4:27 PM

PO3 Ron Blair — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 16:27:37 -0400

I made it easy on myself. I married a sailor. My wife and I were both active duty. Next month makes 27 years married.

Response by SPC Joseph Durham made Sep 7 at 2017 7:32 PM

SPC Joseph Durham — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 19:32:54 -0400

A SM's wife is a unique individual. They are supposed to do a lot of things to help the troops and their families. But does this mean they are in the service with rank. I have seen a SM being married to another service member. I am quiet sure, those are the ones that should be asked the question. Does non-service spouses deserve rank? My answer would be no. In no way should any civilian ever be just given a pay-grade rank without having the duties or training that comes with that rank. Now, it's the SM's wife. ALL ENLISTED SHOULD ALWAYS RESPECT THE SM'S WIFE. IDC who you are, disrespecting the SM's wife is not going to get you promoted. And Officers? Well, they know how important a good SM is. And they know how good their spouse is.

What would be better is civilian versions of these awards only if the awards apply to the wife. CIB, that's combat. Is the wife deployed to a combat zone? Most likely not. Most likely they are back stateside on base. No. They shouldn't even be given one. If some how they are with their husbands being shot at, yes. By all means give them the Civilian version of one. And basically go through all the service medals and make civilian versions. Then when the wife is at a formal dinner or event with her husband, she can wear her medals.

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 9 at 2017 4:04 PM

CPL Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 16:04:37 -0400

avoid them at all costs! Run!!!

Response by SGT David Petree made Sep 9 at 2017 5:44 PM

SGT David Petree — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 17:44:16 -0400

people like that give me an Anger management problem !!!

Response by SGT Felicia King made Sep 19 at 2017 5:33 AM

SGT Felicia King — Tue, 19 Sep 2017 05:33:34 -0400

There are many army wives that do a lot [of good] while her husband is off serving. There are also a lot of army wife shitbags. This female probably was enlisted, served about two years, landed a Infantry soldier to marry her, and now trying to finish her service thru her husband. She's the POG. Her husband is probably either an E-4 or E-5, the loudest, dumbshit army wives [especially the lazy ones] tend to belong to the lower enlisted males.

Response by LTC Hillary Luton made Sep 22 at 2017 1:26 PM

LTC Hillary Luton — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 13:26:47 -0400

I have a REAL problem with this. Don't get me wrong, I have a great deal of respect for spouses who have to deal with home-life during deployments. Hell! I've been there myself. I live in a community that has a majority of military families and I have many friends who have spouses deployed right now. It is a challenge, that is true, but I'm sorry missy, you DID NOT earn your husband's rank, nor did you earn his CIB. If you want to be treated like an NCO, then honey, you better enlist, because what you go through and what your husband goes through are night and day. AND YES, I am speaking as someone who has deployed and as someone who has stayed home while my husband deployed. I will NEVER treat you like an NCO. I have a great deal of respect for NCOs. And you will NEVER understand what your husband goes through....especially during a deployment. Get over yourself.

Response by Sgt Douglas O'Neal made Sep 25 at 2017 10:17 AM

Sgt Douglas O'Neal — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 10:17:46 -0400

Long ago, when I was stationed in Okinawa, the Base CG had a meeting of all the dependent wives. When he came in, he asked that they sit according to their rank. While they were all trying to shuffle around, he said, "Sit down ladies, you have no rank! And that's why we're here today."

While I respect military wives, having had one myself, they do not fall into the chain of command, should be accorded no special privileges or honors because of who their husband is or what he's done. The same goes for their children.

Response by Sgt Vance Bonds made Oct 1 at 2017 9:33 PM

Sgt Vance Bonds — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 21:33:04 -0400

Ok I bought my wife a jacket when I was at Bagram. I had my patches put on it. Kind of a deployment jacket for her. But she does not, not would she ever act like this lady in the post.
My CIB is mine. No one else was given it as a Co-CIB.
Sounds like some spouse's feel left out. Maybe they think they should be given an award????

Response by GySgt James Elliott made Oct 4 at 2017 7:41 PM

GySgt James Elliott — Wed, 04 Oct 2017 19:41:17 -0400

I will try and cut to the point on the original post of " dependapotmous" this term however hoppular in these times is an insult to the many wonderful spouses that support their AD souses every day! My opinon will be dated as I Have been retired for almost 13 years. My spouse served many Marines "Thanks Giving dinners as well as Christmas, New Years, Memorial Day, 4th of July, and any other holiday" you can think of during my active tenure... she worked so many Marine Corps Balls that they became almost unimportant to the ones she attended as a spouse! Much too my dismay as an active duty Marine... until I sat back and looked at it from her prospective... she never once claimed my rank or achievements to anyone. To her it would have been a disgrace to her and me. I'm not to old to realize that times change with the passing of time but, as a military community we are all family that need to support one another. After my retirement and the raising of our children she embarked on a career as a government civilian and has deployed into combat zones on four different occasions, some with me and some without. So I can speak to being the spouse left behind to run the household and take care of life in the rear... It sucks! If I can leave you with one bit of wisdom it would be to treat one another with respect as you are family... S/F a Marine who will always love my country above all else!

Response by SSgt Liam Babington made Oct 5 at 2017 9:45 AM

SSgt Liam Babington — Thu, 05 Oct 2017 09:45:08 -0400

Sad to see folk act like children me thinks!!

Response by SSgt Daniel d'Errico made Oct 12 at 2017 5:34 PM

SSgt Daniel d'Errico — Thu, 12 Oct 2017 17:34:03 -0400

Ahh, I see that this age old tradition of riding on your husban's acomplishments hasn't gone gentle into that good night. Well here is a awake up call for you mam. You didn't take that test or follow your husband into combat, to earn that CBI. He did it himself. He trained/fought to earn that badge. True you might have encouraged him to excel, but he is the ultimate proof that he had what it took to earn the CBI. Unlees you personally wear the uniform every day of a enlistment, you can only expect to be respected as 1. A human being, 2. A woman, who knows that her "husband's" accomplishments are his alone, and 3. You're not a "Combat Veteran". Unless you've been in actual combat. You don't wear your husband's stripes, bars, oak leafs, eagles or stars. You're shown respect because you are a woman snd his wife. Not because you feel you deserve it. Your attitute in matters like this make military life miserable for all. Holier than thou is for God alone, not you.

Response by Jerry Rivas made Oct 14 at 2017 10:13 PM

Jerry Rivas — Sat, 14 Oct 2017 22:13:47 -0400

Even when I was an ARMY brat in the 60's this shit was going on. Many a Colonels son got his ass kicked for mouthing off to a 1st sgts kid. LOL

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 18 at 2017 11:48 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 11:48:29 -0400

These people rank right up there with the Flat Earthers and the chemtrail bandits.

Response by SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano made Oct 18 at 2017 2:46 PM

SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 14:46:37 -0400

Although I appreciate the sacrifice made by female and male spouses, unless the spouse enlisted into the military she or he has not earned any rank of any kind. I acknowledge that spouses do in fact serve their country in support of their partner but if they want military recognition for anything other than being a spouse they should enlist. My husband is an electrician--that doesn't mean I can walk into a construction site and expect the masons or sheet-rock people to treat me like an electrician--nor should I expect to be.

Response by CPO Rick Felty made Oct 19 at 2017 1:48 PM

CPO Rick Felty — Thu, 19 Oct 2017 13:48:33 -0400

Wives are dependents, officer and enlisted wives, they hold no rank they are a civilianlike everyone else unless on active duty and a member of the service. Have told officers wives that cut in front of me in the commissary and BX thinking they would get away with it. Told them to get in the back of the line loud enough it embarrasses them. Actually saw an officertell his wife to get in the back of the line himself, had a lot of respect for him. Do not let them do it period ! Carry THIER butt tothe backof the line like anyone else. When they do 2 tours in Vietnam, and 2 missions in North Vietnam and take 54 rocket rounds on top of them, I might just think about it !,

Response by SPC Robert Stearns made Oct 25 at 2017 2:53 PM

SPC Robert Stearns — Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:53:37 -0400

Veteran and Army Brat here. This question immediately revived one of my more interesting memories as a knee biter. Cast of characters: Me, barely able to see over the cashier counter from the floor. Snot running down my nose didn't have far to go to impact the floor. My sister, a small bundle of joy cradled on my mother's hip. Mom, arms full of my sister and a jumble of uniform items for my Dad, a young paratrooper, somehow, when he was wearing those jump wings his chest stood out a foot more, but those are other memories, he wasn't present that day, off doing dad army stuff I guess. And the Cashier; when she spoke, I swear I could see the ice sickles hanging on her words. Ye old body language spoke, no shouted, that Madame Cashier in the PX Uniform store was not comfortable dealing with enlisted 'riff-raff.' And then 'the moment' I recall like it was 5 minutes ago. My mother had presented the garrison cap with the coloured piping for the cashier to ring up. The cashier held it up and said (with some strange emotion I hadn't noticed in a human voice before), "This is an officer's." Must have been a new cashier...) Now my mother knew her uniforms since she was the secret weapon behaind my dad's inspections. She hand sewed the patches, applied the battle salad and brass, after washing, mending, and starching on an ironing board and proudly pinned the jump wings after a good polishing. Her silent response to the cashier was to next put the red, white and blue hat patch with the parachute and glider emblem on the counter. People with wings wore garrison caps with coloured piping. Straight legs wore plain janes. The cashier didn't say another word. (At least as far as I recall.) It was a long time ago. I didn't grow up with free meals or other guilt gifts. About the only thing I expected was the privilege of deboarding an aircraft when accompanying a deceased person. And I always thought this was for anyone, civilian or military, dependent or active duty. I got to experience that little nicety returning from West Germany, where worn out by 30 years of supporting unit duties for her husband, my mother finally gave it all up somewhere on the line staring down the Warsaw Pact.

Response by SFC Leo Augustin made Oct 29 at 2017 10:33 AM

SFC Leo Augustin — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:33:55 -0400

LOL some spouse have a hard time understanding that their husbands rank is not their own and people is not just going to know or really care what rank your husband is and really it should not matter, stay in your lane. when i was a private i went to the commissary to buy something and when i got there it was only one left and i had it in my hand, a woman came out of no where and took it from my hand and told me "my husband is an E-8". i was angry and walked away, back then i let it go today would be a different story. anyway i had to check my wife to make sure she did not have the misunderstanding that my rank was hers.

Response by SFC Sara Zlateff made Oct 29 at 2017 9:27 PM

SFC Sara Zlateff — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 21:27:55 -0400

Over the last 40 years I have witnessed an increase in this type of thinking. As a retired MP I ran into many family members that thought they could use their spouses rank to give themselves more credibility. Always made me laugh and gave them the traffic citation anyway. My husband outranked me at work, he was O-5, I was E-7. I never used his rank or awards to gain anything for myself. I intend to if I ever fly space-A. Lol. When we attended functions for his unit I wore civilian attire and chatted with the other wives as the social event dictated. And he did the same for my unit functions. While we still attend many functions and remain active in the Veteran community I have witnessed an up surge in the spouses want for attention and affirmation. I blame a lot of it on the entitled generation. Also some coming from the reaffirmation of the general populations treatment of service members. My husband, a Vietnam Veteran, has had more people saying “welcome home” or “thank you for your service” in the last several years than in the first twenty five years right afterward. At least they don’t spit anymore. He retired in 1997 and I in 2004. We raised our children in the military, one son became a Marine with three combat tours. Another son who is a deputy sheriff. A daughter preparing for retirement from the Navy. Their spouses have learned that they are not the Veteran but have earned their own status as the family member that took on the home front with style and grace. They handled the deployments, the single parenting, the trials and tribulations of being alone then becoming a whole family again. Over and over. They have dealt with the PTSDs associated with everything their family has gone through. They have earned the respect that they are due. But they have never used their spouses rank, title, awards, etc for any reason. They have enough self esteem based on themselves and their personal accomplishments to be awesome on their own.

Response by TSgt Lars Eilenfeld made Oct 30 at 2017 2:39 PM

TSgt Lars Eilenfeld — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 14:39:46 -0400

Wow somebody has an over inflated ego. The SM needs to sit down their spouse and have a come to Jesus talk with them. Earned his CIB for both of them, talk about arrogance. Lady you earned nothing unless you put the uniform on yourself. You should be showing respect to ANYONE in uniform, they at least had the guts to raise their hand, all you did was say I Do. Your contract is with your husband not the American People.

Response by SSG Dave Johnston made Oct 30 at 2017 10:28 PM

SSG Dave Johnston — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 22:28:22 -0400

They have been around for a long time; rumor has it that Martha Washington...

Response by CW5 Jack Cardwell made Nov 3 at 2017 5:33 PM

CW5 Jack Cardwell — Fri, 03 Nov 2017 17:33:56 -0400

If she wants be treated like an NCO she should " be all you can be, join the ARMY !".

Response by SGT John Betts made Nov 5 at 2017 6:52 PM

SGT John Betts — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 18:52:54 -0500

Ha, I say take the rank off of the spouse's ID's to. Why do I have to salute the spouse of an officer coming through the gate??

Response by Sgt Brian Kellogg made Nov 6 at 2017 9:58 AM

Sgt Brian Kellogg — Mon, 06 Nov 2017 09:58:51 -0500

Are you F'ng KIDDING me??? WOW!!! My wife would never think that!!!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2017 7:03 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 19:03:16 -0500

You know, I used to see that stupid shit when I was on active duty. When you consider that, at least in my day (88 to 91), a military dependent was not allowed to engage in any activity considered dangerous- such as football- yet a private E-1 at his first permanent duty station on his first day "could"- this suggests that a new private outranks "any" military dependent, rank having its privileges and all that.
As such, I think I'd be inclined to remind this dependapotamus that her hubby earned his rank, but she hasn't earned anything at all. She's not a service member, but a DEPENDENT who has no rank. Rank is earned and is not done so by Osmosis.
I love the term "dependapotamus," by the way. I've been laughing the entire time I've been writing this and I'll get tons of mileage out of it. Thank you :)

Response by PO2 Bob Stanton made Nov 8 at 2017 8:32 PM

PO2 Bob Stanton — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 20:32:27 -0500

I settled the problem, I married a veteran.

Response by Lydia De los Santos made Nov 8 at 2017 9:43 PM

Lydia De los Santos — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 21:43:22 -0500

What's wrong with that / they deserve it

Response by PO1 Tom Follis made Nov 12 at 2017 7:36 PM

PO1 Tom Follis — Sun, 12 Nov 2017 19:36:18 -0500

Boy. I see where this is going to open a bag of worms. Sorry mates. I was career Navy so, forgive me if I don't understand your lingo. I am however, smart enough to figure this one out. Most spouses (male or female) wouldn't have ANY of these privileges if it weren't for the fact you married a service member. You could have stayed in Smallville, USA, married Benny the Bum and complain all day. You have your rights and benefits which, as far as I'm concerned, is the commissary/ exchange, medical/dental, base theatre/club etc, etc. The spouse IS NOT the NCO or the officer or the anything else outside of the spouse. The only thing you've done to receive your status is, get married. Youre no more special or importan than anyone else. If you were, there would be a special line just for you. There isn't. Get over self.

Response by CPL Steve Freeman made Nov 13 at 2017 9:10 PM

CPL Steve Freeman — Mon, 13 Nov 2017 21:10:51 -0500

I think that particular spouse seems a little narcissistic. Im not opposed to them getting the military discounts their
husbands get. Military wives put up with a lot and do a lot...well, some do. Some, like mine didnt. Lol

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Nov 17 at 2017 7:12 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 19:12:28 -0500

Spouses have no rank, they should be treated equally. My wife has always been treated second class by the military

Response by Megan Pioch made Nov 19 at 2017 2:30 AM

Megan Pioch — Sun, 19 Nov 2017 02:30:14 -0500

Nope. Cut the bullshit. You are the parasite living off the Host. That doesn't make you the host. It's like another thing that bothers me - I don't wear patches unless I earned them. I HATE it when someone walks around wearing things they haven't been trained to do, wearing a patch that basically states they've done the job. Spouses better realize they are civilians - NOT military, and that the rank wasn't earned by "Both of us" - it was earned by the service person. I also intensely dislike the rank bullshit when it comes to wives or girlfriends in social settings. However, Karma comes around to a nasty, deluded spouse who has visions of grandeur.
The only concession I will acknowledge is the sacrifice and upheaval spouses must endure when their military spouse must go on deployments. That spouse is now a single parent, tasked with doing everything for the children, and in providing a stabile home for any children. They receive my respect for that.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 20 at 2017 5:16 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Nov 2017 17:16:23 -0500

I ignore them unless they are float widows at the E-Club. Then I steer clear of them.

Response by COL David Petray made Nov 22 at 2017 10:02 AM

COL David Petray — Wed, 22 Nov 2017 10:02:33 -0500

Wow! It's hard to believe that a spouse would think he/she is entitled to the same privileges as their spouse. I guess I just married a level headed gal who was never that interested until I made Colonel and she could park in those designated parking spaces at the Commissary! Of course, those all of those have gone away now. No, as a spouse, be a General Officer or PV-1 you are equals in our society. We threw nobility out two centuries ago.

Response by TSgt Alberto Castillo made Nov 22 at 2017 3:56 PM

TSgt Alberto Castillo — Wed, 22 Nov 2017 15:56:28 -0500

dipshit

Response by MSgt Jim Bob made Nov 23 at 2017 10:23 PM

MSgt Jim Bob — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 22:23:58 -0500

Wow, I’d love to come across someone like this. Too big for her britches, seems her husband needs to cool her jets. She should not be treated as a vet or an NCO BECAUSE SHE ISNT ONE.

Response by SPC Toni Reed made Nov 27 at 2017 1:55 PM

SPC Toni Reed — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 13:55:57 -0500

Before marrying my SM husband, I’d heard the stereotype of a “Dependa” and was literally sick knowing that once I gave up my career in radio and moved to be stationed at Lee with him, I’d bare that title simply because I’d be the spouse of a SM. I tried to be fair and impartial in judgement, however, out of the females I had to interact with as a military spouse, the only one who didn’t start drama, who wasn’t lazy, who didn’t wear their SM’s rank, who didn’t whine every time SM had to work longer or pull duty, and who remained faithful was myself. I raised our children, always cooked awesome meals everyday, kept our home spotless, did the yard work, did laundry, EVERYTHING as I am a firm believer that if you ARE NOT working, you’d better be the most productive human on the planet at home without making excuses! I went through hell and back with my husband and his PTSD and stayed as long as I could. So, my experience AS a dependa sucked as I was bullied by idiotic, self entitled women, who did nothing BUT fit the stereotype perfectly. I myself enlisted and grew to loathe the military spouses even more. I was on the other side now, a single soldier raising two children alone and doing the best I could at my job as a SM! Still managed to keep my house clean, to make good meals to feed my children, do the yard work, my responsibilities at home we’re the same as before! I was a good soldier, the only difference was that I was more exhausted than when I was just a spouse! I’d get so mad when I’d hear a SM’s spouse, who didn’t work complaining or when a spouse would demean their spouse publicly with that whole household 6-“I have the rank and call the shots” bs. towards the end of my time as a soldier I’d walk away if a spouse were around because I didn’t want to hear anymore of the same ol crap I’d heard for years at that point! My main point here is that a dependent shouldn’t get any special privelages for being the spouse of a service member because guess what, you’re doing the same job as every other civilian spouse out there with the exception of having to MISS your spouse when they are away training or deploying. That is the only thing I’ll give them as it happens more often for military spouses but my God if you can’t function without your spouse there, get a dog or cat or something dang. As far as the issues spouses face being with a SM with PTSD, I’ve been there, Hell it ended really badly last year, in the worst, most devastating of ways, but you know what, a lot of civilians have issues too, so I won’t give anyone credit and say they’re only enduring that stuff bc spouse is a SM, when they could be in the same situation married to a civilian. There’s my opinion since you asked. Have a great day everyone!

Response by PO3 Stephen Reynolds made Nov 27 at 2017 4:28 PM

PO3 Stephen Reynolds — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 16:28:01 -0500

My daughter has spent 17 of the last 24 years taking care of everything from all the house problems to taking of the kids. My son -in -law is a Navy officer. The women play a VERY big role.

Response by MSgt Dave Burke made Nov 27 at 2017 5:22 PM

MSgt Dave Burke — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 17:22:06 -0500

The hardest job in any branch has got to be the dependent wife. They get all the disruption from assignments and all the worry when their man is deployed. We must respect the very special women and give them the honor they have earned by standing by their husband.

Response by SP5 Jeannie Carle made Nov 29 at 2017 1:10 AM

SP5 Jeannie Carle — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 01:10:37 -0500

Omigoodness gracious me! You REALLY don't want to hear my opinion! We had SO many of those on Ft Ord while I was there, and, believe it or not, too many of those in So Korea. They DO NOT have the experience of their husbands, they DID not earn their CIB. When my ex earned his CIB I certainly was not their with him. When he got his jump wings, you'd better believe I was NOT jumping out of planes! When he got his SFC I did NOT earn those stripes. I earned my Sp5, NOT his E7! Going to the px, and having the wife of a higher ranking person than myself shove in line in front of me because SHE outranked me? I hardly think so!

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 29 at 2017 8:28 AM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 08:28:14 -0500

oh lord

Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 29 at 2017 9:01 AM

LTJG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 09:01:47 -0500

In my opinion, any spouse that acts like that should get a stern talking to by their SM. Yes they have to give up some of the normalities in life due to their spouse being in the military, but that does not mean they have to go around saying "My husband is this..." or "My wife is that..." "Treat me like this" and blah blah blah. They have no rank and are CIVILIANS. If they want to be treated like a military member then they SHOULD JOIN THE MILITARY.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 29 at 2017 12:02 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 12:02:31 -0500

There are military spouses who truly are supportive of their sponsors. Unfortunately there are those who feel “entitled” because of their spouse’s rank or affiliation.

Response by 1SG James Kelly made Nov 30 at 2017 1:15 PM

1SG James Kelly — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 13:15:34 -0500

Lady you don't want to be treated like an NCO.
You just want your ass kissed.
I was an NCO and my wife was a Cpt.
She had two tours in Vietnam as a civilian, the second in a MASH outfit.
I doubt you could hold a candle to her.

Response by SSG Thomas Iverson made Nov 30 at 2017 8:27 PM

SSG Thomas Iverson — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 20:27:29 -0500

My wife treated all other spouses the same. While I was a SSG in Germany my wife would talk to any spouse at the main snack bar the same. Turned out one was the new division commander's wife. I became known as Mrs Iverson's husband...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2017 3:59 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 02 Dec 2017 15:59:53 -0500

I don't touch stereotypes, and I treat everyone I meet with dignity and respect. Anything less than that is dangerous ground to tread on if you're a servicemember.

Response by PO2 Robert Cuminale made Dec 6 at 2017 6:25 AM

PO2 Robert Cuminale — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 06:25:38 -0500

The stress on a military spouse is well known among us. They deal with the everyday raising of children, if in their own home there's the routine of breakdowns and getting quotes for repairs or even having to do the repairs themselves.
But no matter how hard the life is it isn't equal to spending time in a foreign country and constantly watching your over yourself and others to make sure you come back to the hootch at the end of the day(s). The deployed person also deals with the knowledge that he/she is missing a portion of their lives in not seeing their children grow up and sharing in memorable occasions. There's a certain amount of gilt some feel that can be wearing.
I spent a couple of years with a "Mrs. Captain" who acted as though she was an extension of the Commanding Officer so this isn't limited to enlisted people's spouses.

Response by CPL Joey Weaver Jr. made Dec 6 at 2017 6:47 AM

CPL Joey Weaver Jr. — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 06:47:15 -0500

I know military wives pay hell, but believe me, the man in the field never knows when deployment, alerts, and anything else that active military deal with, plus raising a family is no picnic, when the military expects you always to remember, DUTY,HONOR,COUNTRY. Sorry Family is not in those three. Maybe it will change someday. All respect goes to military families who keep it all together.

Response by TSgt James Carson made Dec 8 at 2017 1:21 PM

TSgt James Carson — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 13:21:23 -0500

This ugly illegal practice has gone on since officer's wives were allowed on posts, military bases. I was present on Ellsworth AFB, when the wing commander apologized to all of us present on the days his wife demanded airmen move their cars so she could park nearest the door of the base linen exchange. Wives had been banned from riding alone in staff cars displaying their husband's rank. Base commanders have to hold briefings with the officers' meetings in order to prevent this from occurring. If commanders don't you have the right to contact your congressional representative.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2017 6:15 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 18:15:28 -0500

Like Kobe said "She wasn't with me while I was shooting in the gym."

Response by Sgt Josh Earsley made Dec 26 at 2017 12:24 PM

Sgt Josh Earsley — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 12:24:18 -0500

She's clearly on some kind of high horse. "POG wives"? She's delusional. This is also a slippery slope. First it would be Veterans' wives being recognized on Veterans Day, then the kids, the parents, cousins, best friends, pets, etc. Screw that. My Grand Slam at Denny's won't taste as good at that point.

Response by MAJ Alan Montgomery made Dec 29 at 2017 11:37 AM

MAJ Alan Montgomery — Fri, 29 Dec 2017 11:37:47 -0500

Some military wives believe, because their husbands have achieved rank or privilege, they too deserve the respect accorded to him or her. SO, SO Wrong! But there are and ever growing number of military spouses that feel they should go to the front of the line, be seated first, be given privilege seeking service within the support system, have a right to be seen first at Pharmacies and in Military hospitals. They are wrong, so very wrong. The respect and courtesy afforded the military member because of rank or award is singularly his or hers. While wives can, and perhaps should bask in the lime light of their spouses accomplishments, they in no way EARNED that privilege save by saying "I DO". I call them societal status whores, prima donnas, or rank leaches, and they give all wives a bad name. Most notably the higher the rank the more likely you are to find a spouse demanding privilege she has not EARNED, and while that is an over arching comment it is NOT applicable to every senior NCO, Warrant, or Officer's spouse. There are more good spouses that societal climbers using the sweat and accomplishment of their spouses to garner privilege, but so long as there is one it is one to many. Spouses who condone or demand such behavior are worse than their spouses. Even the Chief of Staff salutes the Private wearing the Congressional Medal of Honor. I believe a spouse should be accorded the respect due his or her spouse, but the privileges accorded that spouse are singularly his or hers and should not be accorded to the spouse. The "Reserved for General Officer" sign at he PX/BX, Commissary or other facilities on a military base are there for the OFFICER holding the rank, the man or woman who actually thru performance earned the rank. When I see a spouse exiting a POV having parked in one of these slots I see a man or woman with NO RESPECT for what it took their spouse to earn the privilege. What I see is a second rate social climber not worthy of respect. I have no use for men or women who feel their marital status warrants special consideration, privilege, or respect. I wish the spouses of political appointees and congressional office holders would exercise rank restraint, but that would be like asking all Americans to respect the office of the President and the man or woman holding the office. Some people are just duty bound to ride the coat tails of their spouses or parents, they are also the first one to jump ship when that career flounders.

Response by SGT Joey Landry made Jan 2 at 2018 1:00 PM

SGT Joey Landry — Tue, 02 Jan 2018 13:00:00 -0500

The problem is that a lot of these spouses are divas and think too highly of themselves regardless of who their husbands are. My mom was a career army wife and I never heard her ask for respect from other adults. No, she earned respect! One duty post in Germany my dad invited his entire platoon to our modest NCO quarters for thanksgiving and Christmas. Although I was 11 at the time I still remember the soldiers referred to my mother as “Mom” and they called my dad who was their platoon sergeant, Motor Daddy. You want respect, then earn respect by putting others first; you see, my mom cooked for all those soldiers who were away from their families, she treated the sons of other mothers as though they were her own.

Response by SSG Jacque Brandon made Jan 5 at 2018 3:06 PM

SSG Jacque Brandon — Fri, 05 Jan 2018 15:06:01 -0500

As am MP in the late 70's I once encountered an army spouse who when stopped for a traffic violation responded "I am Mrs Col Smith" I informed her there was no such rank and she was Mrs Smith wife of Col Smith and she had been stopped for speeding. Yes, she received a ticket.

Response by MSgt Lisa Coker made Jan 7 at 2018 1:29 PM

MSgt Lisa Coker — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 13:29:57 -0500

Wow,
While it's true that a lot of dependent spouses do a lot to support the military member, asking to be treated like an NCO? Really? How about treated with respect, when respect is earned. You don't earn NCO status if you aren't an NCO. You only earn respect when you are respectful & requesting to be treated like a military member when you are not one is ludicrous.

Response by SGT Jason Ellenburg made Jan 8 at 2018 12:14 AM

SGT Jason Ellenburg — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:14:14 -0500

Having flown a desk to assist the Family Support Coordinator as Rear-D, I've seen what dependapotami can really be like. Cheating on their soldiers, drugging themselves stupid, even had one sell everything and move after draining all joint accounts while her husband was on deployment. I have no respect for them at all. Had one confront me at JBLM and I just laughed in her face, openly and loudly. It shut her up completely.

Response by CPO Thomas Solomon made Jan 8 at 2018 8:11 PM

CPO Thomas Solomon — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 20:11:56 -0500

AMC (RET) I think spouses should be able to get a meal because thy have to do and put up with everything while we are deployed, but once we are out of uniform we are no ranks so how can they think that they have rank?

Response by SPC Joshua Brumley made Jan 9 at 2018 8:18 PM

SPC Joshua Brumley — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 20:18:05 -0500

Unless the spouse raises that right hand, says the oath, signs the papers, 'and' successfully completes at least one term of service, then no. The dependant's ID confers a lot of benefits; rank is not one of them.

Response by CPT Vance Walden made Jan 11 at 2018 8:38 PM

CPT Vance Walden — Thu, 11 Jan 2018 20:38:49 -0500

I do not think you would ever see a spouse that actually deserves respect write something like this. The ones who blow their own horns like this spouse...have issues is all I can say. Selfless sacrifice and humility are the traits that deserve the most respect.

Response by CPT Vance Walden made Jan 11 at 2018 8:40 PM

CPT Vance Walden — Thu, 11 Jan 2018 20:40:44 -0500

The spouses who deserve the most respect....you never hear from. I respect selfless service and humility the most. This particular spouse has obvious personal issues not related to the topic she is addressing.

Response by PO2 David Allender made Jan 14 at 2018 7:11 PM

PO2 David Allender — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 19:11:52 -0500

Times have changed since I was in. I was in from January 1962 thru December 1971. I've worked with admirals down the chain of command thru warrant officers and CPOs, and petty officers and seaman. While I was in we all knew our place. I never had heard of any wives getting out of line. They were the moral support for their husbands back then. Like I said, times change and people change also. I hope for sake of the services that this gets straitened out.

Response by 1SG Leon Espe made Jan 14 at 2018 8:32 PM

1SG Leon Espe — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 20:32:11 -0500

Dependent wives of Officer or NCO personnel have no legal right to give orders to anyone. When I was a First Sergeant my Wife had a lot of suggestions but never caused me to be influenced when it came to unit business. I did not discuss unit problems with my wife but she had a lot of suggestions on how to pretty up the company area, which I ignored. I always let the CO tell me what his wife suggested on the order of area beautification. I see no justification for wife of a combat veteran to be recognized as anything other than a wife of a soldier, which describes her standing well.

Response by CMSgt Steve Pennington made Jan 14 at 2018 11:12 PM

CMSgt Steve Pennington — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 23:12:12 -0500

This is an age old issue dating back ages. My experience has been that there are wives of LTs who are rude and expect deference and Generals wives who are gracious, polite and very supportive of the troops under their spouses command. The point is that the individual troop (non service specific) and their spouse are important parts of the team and no one has greater prestige than the team.

Response by SPC Jason Smith made Jan 15 at 2018 4:47 PM

SPC Jason Smith — Mon, 15 Jan 2018 16:47:04 -0500

Wow thats bullshit. She probably dix work hard taking care of the family and home life but she didn't go through antthing the rest of us had to in order to gain or get respect. Respectfully skeaking she can shut the fuck up and get in line. She probably is a LEG too.

Response by CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) made Jan 16 at 2018 5:47 PM

CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) — Tue, 16 Jan 2018 17:47:52 -0500

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Whewwww... Oh that's funny. Is this a real thing still? I remember it being like that amongst the officers back in the day when my dad was in (60's - 80's). The general's wife was the group leader and on down by rank. Seating at the officer's wives club luncheons were by husband's rank (and you better be there). The NCO's wives are pulling this crap too? In this day and age? Even a CIB? Hilarious! Now that is NOT to say spouses don't have a rough time when the SM is away - I know they do, but this kind of thing is beyond belief! I suppose if you live on base its even worse as housing is doled out by rank.

Response by Sgt Tee Organ made Jan 17 at 2018 9:41 AM

Sgt Tee Organ — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 09:41:46 -0500

This is a troll message she's doing it to get a raise out of you. It worked. As for wanting to be treated like an NCO, Im sure if the CO of her man's unit come rolling in and demanded she attend leadership classes and qualification training, and pre-deployment screening and started chewing her ass because one of the troops fucked up in the barracks on Saturday or missed restriction muster, or called her in for barracks duty or Saturday weapons cleaning detail that fucking attitude would slip right out of her mind. God forbid she be made to report for PT at 0430, and none of that has anything to do with a CIB.

Response by SGT David Pittman made Jan 18 at 2018 11:00 AM

SGT David Pittman — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 11:00:45 -0500

All spouses should be treated the same no matter what rank, badges or MOS their SM partner hold because that is what they are just spouses and the have not earned anything.

Response by CPO Robert Henry made Jan 19 at 2018 12:52 PM

CPO Robert Henry — Fri, 19 Jan 2018 12:52:52 -0500

I remember a time when one was stationed overseas, and your wife acted like a smacked ass. Two things happened. 1. She got sent back to the States with the kids. 2. You got moved back into the Barracks.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 19 at 2018 1:23 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 19 Jan 2018 13:23:59 -0500

they do , she my HOUSEHOLD 6.

Response by SP5 Lori Pong made Jan 22 at 2018 2:36 PM

SP5 Lori Pong — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 14:36:46 -0500

While I'll agree some spouse really tow the line and give up a lot because their spouse (not just wives) is in the military that doesn't qualify them for any veterans benefits/discounts. They didn't earn it and there is a big difference between someone actually serving and a spouse.

Response by SFC John Peters CWDP: BES, JSS made Jan 25 at 2018 11:39 AM

SFC John Peters CWDP: BES, JSS — Thu, 25 Jan 2018 11:39:10 -0500

Ummm...wow! lol

Response by PFC Sandra Wade made Feb 1 at 2018 12:31 AM

PFC Sandra Wade — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 00:31:25 -0500

I believe any man/husband, women/wife should be respected regardless of occupation or rank. I do not however believe they should be recognized the same as the Veteran. In civilian life I held the household with children and animals when my husband was away for long extended periods. That's my job as a partner/spouse/mother. Just as it would be his should the role be reversed.
In many case's I see the dependent syndrome extend to the mothers (I am mother of two 2 Marines). Extend to brother's sisters and grandparents. This beloved family member is highly trained, skilled and in many cases does this job and cares for family members. Much is asked and much is expected.
Frankly as a Marine Mom it's even more obvious how dependents hang on the shirt tails of the military member and sick of the entitlement syndrome. Living through their military member's life. I am really not trying to me insensitive.
As a Veteran I am very grateful for all the benefits I receive from the VA.
To the Dependents, be grateful for the benefits received while holding up your beloved military member.
Sandra OUT!

Response by COL Roxanne Arndt made Feb 2 at 2018 10:09 PM

COL Roxanne Arndt — Fri, 02 Feb 2018 22:09:32 -0500

Ridiculous

Response by MAJ Ronald Mandell made Feb 4 at 2018 5:13 AM

MAJ Ronald Mandell — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 05:13:31 -0500

Hmmm. . . I served as an enlisted guy in the Marines, an enlisted guy in the Army, an Army Warrant, and an Army commissioned officer. My feeling are thus: The world runs on respect, and nowhere is this more true than in the military. The military has also always been strong on tradition, and it has always been traditional in the military that spouses are treated with much of the same respect as their husbands, and the wives of higher ranking service members are expect to take the lead in wive's organizations, and to motivate, and counsel the wives of lower ranking service members.

I believe that respect toward the wives of service members should continue to be show respect toward each other based upon their husband's rank, within limits. For instance, a wife should not be allowed to give orders to the wives of lower ranking service members, but they should be shown deference. Wives of officers and warrants should also continue to be saluted at the main gate, when entering a military reservation, although I have noted that this practice has fallen off in all the services, except for the Marines, God bless them.

Ronald H. Mandell
MAJ, AG, USA (ret)

Response by 1stSgt Stanley J Klein Sr made Feb 6 at 2018 7:41 PM

1stSgt Stanley J Klein Sr — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 19:41:07 -0500

The proper introduction is: I am Mrs. Gunchfinger, my husband is Sgt Major Gunchfinger. NOT: I am Mrs. Sgt Major Gunchfinger. Parking spots reserved for people of certain ranks/positions ARE NOT reserved for the spouses of those ranks/positions.

Response by Audrey King made Feb 6 at 2018 11:30 PM

Audrey King — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 23:30:12 -0500

My husband earned his CIB, but not me. I stayed home to support him, raise our son, and run our home. She is full of herself, and spouses like her irritate me to no end. Yes, we serve, we serve our spouses, not the military or the government. She needs to get over herself.

Response by SPC LaDene Culver made Feb 8 at 2018 4:20 PM

SPC LaDene Culver — Thu, 08 Feb 2018 16:20:44 -0500

As a veteran and wife of a disabled veteran, this person doesn't understand that what the dependant goes through in supporting the military spouse is not equivalent to being the military spouse. The dependants do have their own struggles, but it simply is like comparing apple blossoms to overripe oranges. There's things I haven't told him that happened to me when I was in, we were in the same field, he was in much longer, and I know he's kept a lot from me. Being a military spouse is enormouslying easier than being a military member.

Response by Cpl Patricia Lail made Feb 11 at 2018 11:59 AM

Cpl Patricia Lail — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 11:59:19 -0500

I met quite a few while I was enlisted. Many were cheating, ill tempered, or ill mannered especially out of some insecurity they had towards female Marines. I met more than my fair share of cheating Marines also. IMO the spouses have no footing to stand on. Yes, they deserve respect if and when they have to deal with changes in their significant other due to deployment. Those spouses also deserve respect as a basic human being does. Set that aside and you have a spouse who has the benefits of military income, healthcare, daycare, and a support system if needed. Sure these can fail you but most single mothers don't run around demanding respect for being a single mother and they certainly don't get all the assistance. There are those amazing wives in the rough as well. I found them far and few but they're there and I definitely preferred a few of them to my counterparts. Boy can some of those gals hang in there. :)

Response by PO1 Mike Doll made Feb 15 at 2018 9:57 AM

PO1 Mike Doll — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 09:57:40 -0500

While being a military dependent is more difficult and demanding, the only respect they should earn is for sticking with their spouse. Otherwise I do not see any regulation, SOP, Instruction, directive, or pamphlet regarding rank for spouses.

Response by A1C Marre Giller made Feb 15 at 2018 4:18 PM

A1C Marre Giller — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 16:18:02 -0500

Gee...sure hope she didn't get shot at "earning" his CIB.

Response by PFC Robert Morris made Feb 20 at 2018 4:05 PM

PFC Robert Morris — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 16:05:44 -0500

BULLSHIT LADY!! You didn't go thru basic trainning you havent earned Anything be happy with yourfree healthcare and cheap places to shop altho base prices were alot better before pres carter pullud his bullshit

Response by PO2 Louis Fattrusso made Mar 1 at 2018 1:50 PM

PO2 Louis Fattrusso — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 13:50:37 -0500

My wife worked on an a joint Army/Air Force Base and the General’s wife would push her husband’s rank on the civilian staff by assuming his rank and making threats if she did not get exactly what she wanted. The civilian staff was frightened that she could have them fired. This was outrageous behavior for someone with absolutely no military rank. Also, what does that say about the General?

Response by Capt Al Parker made Mar 10 at 2018 8:14 PM

Capt Al Parker — Sat, 10 Mar 2018 20:14:25 -0500

There have always been wives who think they carry the same rank as their husbands. I saw this in all ranks in my 20 years of service.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2018 11:54 PM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 18 Mar 2018 23:54:15 -0400

A joke post right?!?

Response by SGT Jyran Jordan made Mar 21 at 2018 9:59 AM

SGT Jyran Jordan — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:59:59 -0400

She hasn't earned anything. Her husband did all the early morning and late night work plus the deployments.

Response by SP5 Lori Pong made Mar 21 at 2018 10:12 AM

SP5 Lori Pong — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 10:12:41 -0400

While I would agree that spouses deserve some recognition (they do go thru a lot)...She can't be for real. Yes she worried and lived with uncertainty but her husband was being shot at...not the same thing. The only one who deserves to be treated like an NCO is an NCO.

Response by SGT Ellsworth Moore Jr made Mar 24 at 2018 12:50 PM

SGT Ellsworth Moore Jr — Sat, 24 Mar 2018 12:50:13 -0400

She doesn't know that a CIB is earned in combat. I suppose she would want disability if her husband got a Purple Heart.

Response by CW4 Rodney Burnett made Mar 25 at 2018 11:27 PM

CW4 Rodney Burnett — Sun, 25 Mar 2018 23:27:23 -0400

seriously? Spouses deserve credit for what they do at home....however most have no fucking clue what actually goes on down range. What's next, a PTSD diagnosis? Its great that you have your spouse's back but don't think that just because something happened to them that it happened to you too. Also, civilians (yes, a military spouse is a civilian) have no rank. Get over it. You aren't any better than other spouses.

Response by SSG Clayton Blackwell made Mar 28 at 2018 2:10 PM

SSG Clayton Blackwell — Wed, 28 Mar 2018 14:10:28 -0400

On the one hand, they do deserve some respect. Taking care of the household and making sure that there is no home front issue to worry about while you are deployed or off in training is invaluable. On the other hand, a spouse is a spouse and I don't care if it's the general's wife or PV1 smith's wife ....or husband, they are the same. None of them carry any rank or prestige based on their spouses' accomplishments. But that will never change. In addition to my time in, I was a dependent myself. I recall when my dad went from enlisted to warrant officer, my mother bitching back in the 70's about the snotty wives thinking they held their husband's rank. She flat out refused to be part of the OWC because of it. So if it hasn't changed since the 70's, it ain't changing any time soon.

Response by PO1 Gery Bastiani made Apr 1 at 2018 12:31 PM

PO1 Gery Bastiani — Sun, 01 Apr 2018 12:31:36 -0400

well you can show some respect to the wife, but as to treat her like she's the combat veteran well just ignore her on that one. and if she continues to push it tell her to pack sand and walk away, just saying

Response by TSgt Lars Eilenfeld made Apr 2 at 2018 9:49 PM

TSgt Lars Eilenfeld — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 21:49:51 -0400

Seems like someone has Delusions of Grandeur. Sorry lady you earned nothing.

Response by TSgt Lars Eilenfeld made Apr 2 at 2018 9:52 PM

TSgt Lars Eilenfeld — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 21:52:17 -0400

Snowflake alert

Response by SGT George Duncan made Apr 9 at 2018 10:30 PM

SGT George Duncan — Mon, 09 Apr 2018 22:30:10 -0400

it's not only in military life.

Response by PO1 Roger VanOrman made Apr 11 at 2018 8:41 PM

PO1 Roger VanOrman — Wed, 11 Apr 2018 20:41:29 -0400

Well I would say that spouses do earn some respect but they have no rank or special privilege. They go thru alot and do a lot for their spouse when the member is deployed. That however doesn't mean that they can order anyone around.

Response by Rhonda Tomlinson made Apr 12 at 2018 8:47 PM

Rhonda Tomlinson — Thu, 12 Apr 2018 20:47:36 -0400

My husband (not me) has served for 15+ years. I studiously avoid “wearing his rank” and most people don’t even know what my husband’s rank is or what he does.

I have spent many hours volunteering and donating to make life easier for both active duty and military personnel. Additionally I have had a career, although it has been more practical and accessible at some duty stations than others.

“Dependapotamous” is a totally offensive and derogatory term. My husband feels just as strongly - perhaps even more so - he finds the term “disgraceful and anybody using the term should be NJP’d.”

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2018 1:50 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Aug 2018 01:50:18 -0400

This post is still getting traffic huh? Glad I could provoke professional debating.

Response by SGT Jim Wiseman made Nov 11 at 2018 5:16 PM

SGT Jim Wiseman — Sun, 11 Nov 2018 17:16:03 -0500

While they do have a difficult job as a spouse and they put up with long hours where their spouses are interminably asked to wait for husbands or wives to be released for the day. There's field problems and deployments they have to go through, alone or with children to take care of. Those other women you're speaking to are in the same boat! While you've also served being married to an SM and you should know that the POG MOS's support the Infantry. Lord knows I joke (but with some actual sincerity behind the words) that you're one of two things in the Army: Infantry or Infantry support. This particular spouse DOES NOT have a CIB, no matter what she believes! There's no paperwork or record of it in DoD records! SHE didn't get shot at! None of us are ACTUALLY entitled to free meals or discounts from anyone, it is a courtesy and privilege extended by those who feel we are grateful for what we have done and THEY feel as if we're entitled to free or discounted items. Getting a discount at a restaurant or other place which honor discounts shouldn't be a problem since military spouses have a military dependent's ID. Demanding that shouldn't be something to make a public fuss over. Demanding to be treated like an NCO by others who are also not in the military is ridiculous! You want recognition of that type? Actually sign up! Take the oath and work your way up in the ranks! If I were a male married to a female in the military, one: I'd know to treat other spouses with respect, I'm not even going to pretend to know what it would be like not having served, so I won't say I wouldn't act one way or the other as a spouse. What I would do would be to set that spouse straight. If she indeed would ask another spouse to "push" because she is feeling disrespected, I'd make sure she knew she had no rank and that I at one time did! She has no military authority to arbitrarily smoke other spouses. I doubt she is doing more than just puffing up her chest and talking s**t, but SERIOUSLY! As for "dependas..." I think of them as the overweight spouses who, more than likely, married an SM to get benefits and not have to work. The individual cited by you here may be a hard-working individual with a job and several kids, but her general attitude is crap! It's not a phenomenon which is new, there have always been women who believe that because their husbands are high-ranked individuals that they have also earned the respect of that rank (whether or not their husbands were also ACTUALLY worthy of that respect is debatable), and I don't know how widespread that is for males married to female SM's, but I'm sure it has a few, especially for those who have never even thought of serving.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Feb 6 at 2020 4:44 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Thu, 06 Feb 2020 16:44:38 -0500

In all my years of active duty, private and public sector employment I have seen very few dependents acting inappropriately. General’s wives did get a good deal of deference when I was active in the 1970s & 1980s, but there were still officers’ wives clubs then. Things have changed a lot since then. I don’t see that type of behavior at the Exchange or Commissary now.

Response by SFC James Welch made Sep 27 at 2020 2:42 PM

SFC James Welch — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 14:42:23 -0400

Come on People. You have no rank because YOU are NOT a Servicemember and deserve no recognition as or equivalent to one. Your job is the homefront. The very idea that you are somehow better than any other wives is pathetic!