What can can be done about a hateful XO?

MSG Danny Stanley — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:18:28 -0400

I was talking a to a friend from a previous unit and he told me the current XO has stated on multiple occasions that he hates enlisted personnel and thinks we're all lazy. I'd like to remind the Major that it would be difficult to accomplish anything without all the minions at his disposal. It's hard enough to correct disrespect from subordinates. How does anyone deal with disrespect from above?

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 10 at 2017 1:28 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:28:50 -0400

I would say the only thing to be done (and can be done) is the XO and their boss have a heart to heart chat.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Apr 10 at 2017 2:17 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:17:49 -0400

I'd expect a good SEL and Skipper to have a deep conversation. I had a toxic Ops Boss that I fired (kicked out of billet). He was like "Mikey". He hated everything. No idea how he made it far enough to be my problem. Point is, the problem must end there, not get passed on, because that's rewarding the orientation and behavior, plus expanding the blast perimeter. So if the SEL is unaware, looks like the issue hasn't been pushed up properly. You don't want to be the Skipper that gets "Hostile Workplace" hits from the IG. Not talking Title VII stuff, but at some point, things go off the reservation if they aren't dealt with. That's a reflection directly on the Skipper.

A piece of the analysis would be if this one is suffering from O-4 Alpha Hotel Syndrone. Seen it a number of times when someone pins on O-4, it's like they decide being one is a job requirement. Saw that a lot with the Marines (2 tours with them). In my case, I looked at past reporting seniors, rang them up, and discussed how they got to that point. Pretty much confirmed by their wishy-washy that they created the problem and passed it on. Yep, one of my conversations was with a Flag. If you do it right, the Skipper trying to right the ship won't get dinged for it. Not my most comfortable week.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Apr 10 at 2017 2:22 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:22:28 -0400

Ohh, a challenge,,,, I loved a challenge.......
lets play a game of who needs what demographic more to accomplish their mission. ..
Enlisted need ONE XO more.
XO needs several hundred enlisted more.
After the XO gets his second reprimand and ass chewing for failing a mission, or task..
Offer a truce and mutual agreement to despise each other in private but work like brothers from another mother together in public to get the Old Mans priorities accomplished.
If that fails, ask him to send post cards from his ROTC or basic training command,,,as that is the BEST he will ever be offered once Im done with him...

I never had to like the senior person I was working with or for, but you better damn hope I respect you, and believe your doing the BEST you can, never undermining the men, the unit or the mission.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 10 at 2017 2:28 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:28:50 -0400

The man is stupid for making such a comment out loud. It is very likely the commander will hear about it and square it away.
Usually attitudes like that don't make it that far in rank.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Apr 10 at 2017 2:46 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:46:07 -0400

When I was a butter bar I had a TSgt in my unit that was being abused by a LtCol in a different squadron over a conflict that happened on a test range involving range safety. In my view the TSgt. was in the right, but that didn't help the situation.

I found out later that the situation was resolved by a phone call by the TSgt. to a friend of his in assignments in Denver, and the LtCol.'s name found its way to the top of the list for remote assignments to Greenland.

Respect is a two-way street and so is power, I learned.

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made Apr 10 at 2017 3:20 PM

SGT Bryon Sergent — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:20:57 -0400

Sounds as if the XO needs to go to the wood line with the CSM for a little one on one training (with the COl's blessing)!

So where does this ASSHAT think his runner comes from on Staff duty? Does he think it is a young LT!?

Response by MSG Brad Sand made Apr 10 at 2017 4:13 PM

MSG Brad Sand — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 16:13:07 -0400

You said XO, right? If he hates enlisted, as you say, there probably a reason he is in this position to begin with and it is not so he can become a better leader but because they want your commander to keep him close and out of trouble until he is set free on the civilian World?

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Apr 10 at 2017 5:08 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:08:24 -0400

Sounds like a situation I had with a Zipper-suited Sun God (Fighter Pilot) while I was stationed at Lakenheath AB. Said Zipper Head (a Captain/O-3) made the comment in public that the AF would be better off getting rid of enlisted people so they would have more money for "important" things like airframes and pilot bonuses.

Me: So, you put fuel in that aircraft before you fly?
ZSSG: No, the fuels guy, a Senior Airman I think, does.
Me: Ok, so an enlisted guy/gal. Alright, do you do the maintenance on the aircraft?
ZSSG: No, the MX shop does.
Me: Let me guess.... more enlisted?
ZSSG: Yea....
Me: ...Just what I thought. How about weapons? Do you load the bombs, chaff, missiles, etc on the aircraft before a mission?
ZSSG (now visibly embarrassed in front of his buddies): *stammering* Well, no..., ummm.. er,...
Me (going for the jugular now): How about mission planning? Flight routes? Weather? No fly areas? Do you do ANY of that?
ZSSG: no.....
Me: All enlisted crew, right?
ZSSG (hanging head in shame): yes.....
Me: Seems to me, 'sir', we should get rid of the OFFICERS and make room for more people who actually WORK and make it possible for the mission to be completed!

The O-6 behind us nearly choked on his coffee he was laughing so hard.....

Response by PO1 Michael G. made Apr 10 at 2017 5:26 PM

PO1 Michael G. — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:26:16 -0400

On the one hand, ignoring it may be the best option; he's not going to be in your unit forever, and for that matter, neither will you.

It is problematic because that attitude can, and inevitably will, breed resentment, especially among junior enlisted. Worse yet, his example will make it a normal occurrence for junior officers, who may go on to adopt the same attitude. If it's severe enough, you may find that a direct conversation with the major is warranted, but there are a couple of ways to go about it. My command has an anonymous command suggestion box that the COB and the Captain read; a comment in here would directly bring the issue to the attention of the other members of the command triad, but they would be able to address it directly.

Now, I also have a good rapport with the Navigator on my boat, as well as with my department Chief. if it was an officer other than the XO, I may speak privately with one of them, and they may want to have the discussion with the officer in question.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 11 at 2017 10:44 AM

CPO Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 10:44:41 -0400

Toxic leaders... We have all dealt with them at one point or another. I have had a few (Though i'm lucky I was never on the Cowpens that has to have been the worst iv heard of)

I hate to say this because I like dealing with things at the lowest level, but from experience there comes a moment when you just need to pull the trigger on an IG complaint.

Response by SFC Don Ward made Apr 13 at 2017 4:24 PM

SFC Don Ward — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:24:22 -0400

Had a company xo, 1LT, stated that the only reason there were enlisted personnel was that they were too lazy to go to college. Guess who got caught in a sexual situation with an E-4.

Response by CW2 Ernest Krutzsch made Apr 13 at 2017 4:33 PM

CW2 Ernest Krutzsch — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:33:51 -0400

I used to tell new Lieutenants when I was a SFC, that I will do everything in my power to make him/her shine, but I can also do things that will get them fired, Your choice. You getting a fail on an IG inspection affects your career more than mine :-)

Response by LCpl Benjamin Otten made Apr 13 at 2017 5:25 PM

LCpl Benjamin Otten — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 17:25:50 -0400

Sounds like to my fancy pants XO dosnt understand the enlisted culture. They have there's we have ours.

Response by Cpl Rc Layne made Apr 13 at 2017 6:50 PM

Cpl Rc Layne — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 18:50:25 -0400

Remind him that a lowly corporal started WWII?

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 14 at 2017 2:32 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 14 Apr 2017 14:32:02 -0400

Piss off all the NCOs, especially SNCOs. Somehow I don't think this is going to work out for you.
I once had a LT 0-2, academy boy, say something to me about NCOs. Sir, you planted the seeds, now you are paying the price. You have disrespected the SNCOs since day one. Note that other LTs are not having the difficulty you are. Your SNCOs will make or break you; its your choice. He just didn't get it.

I think I said this before once. I was at the CO meeting in the morning. My CO was pissed. My Capt 0-3 is the one he was pissed about. He did not chew out the Capt. He looked at me, E-7, leaned forward, took off his glasses and commenced to chewing my ass. All I could say was, I apologize sir, I was unaware the Capt was my responsibility, it will not happen again. Truth be told, I knew that Capt was not moving on. His career had already been determined. He was in my office to hide him.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Apr 15 at 2017 9:58 PM

LtCol Robert Quinter — Sat, 15 Apr 2017 21:58:53 -0400

The SgtMaj or whatever your senior enlisted is should be talking with the CO

Response by MSG James Hughs made Apr 21 at 2017 2:29 PM

MSG James Hughs — Fri, 21 Apr 2017 14:29:45 -0400

You can not fix stupid. Karma will get him. Just be a professional and stay out of his way if you can. You have no obligation to teach him and he would refuse to learn anyway..... Had a 1st SGT who hated me....rode my ass everyday....wanted to destroy me.....one night the MP's called....the 1st Sgt was caught "drunk driving"..... they did not want to hurt his career.....I walked to the MP station.....picked him up....drove him and his car home and walked three miles back to post...... never said a word to him..... because you are an ass does not mean I have to copy you..... eventually I was promoted to E-6 and reassigned to 101st..... payback....revenge or re-education are not in my lesson plan

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Apr 23 at 2017 10:50 AM

MCPO Roger Collins — Sun, 23 Apr 2017 10:50:37 -0400

When crap bubbles up in a command, it's up to the XO to manage personnel issues. If they are escalated to the CO, the XO has failed in his/her duties. Most of the XOs I encountered during my career are arrogant AHs, that is by design. That being said, I have never heard one denean enlisteds as you note.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2019 11:28 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 11:28:50 -0400

Organize a wink wink revolt. Say for the next banquet or family outing see to it that no enlisted show up. It will take a round of that before the CO is trying to figure out what happened and why

Response by SPC Michael Pellegrino made Oct 16 at 2019 9:26 PM

SPC Michael Pellegrino — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 21:26:46 -0400

You should move on with your duties and let your CO handle the matter your way over your head