Posted on Jan 5, 2019
What can I say to help a battle buddy who can't handle the Army life anymore?
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Have a battle who doesnt want to be in the army anymore, and is thinking about going to the chaplain for help. He also mentioned apft failure on purpose..what can I say to help him? Or the repercussions of this?
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APFT
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Posted 6 y ago
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Most people have a point where they feel like they can't handle Army life and it's usually within the first year. Young soldiers have never been away from home or on their own and the Army isn't what they thought it would be. They get through it. As they mature they realize it's just a job. They develop strong support networks, get married, build families, etc. It's a part of growing up and everyone feels like that at some point once they move away. I would tell him not to make a permanent decision based on temporary discomfort.
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Tell him... "Quit whining and grow a set."
Yes, I am a mean spirited, jerk. Tired of men who aren't men.
Let the S#!+ storm begin.
Yes, I am a mean spirited, jerk. Tired of men who aren't men.
Let the S#!+ storm begin.
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Maj John Bell
SSG (Join to see) - I answered the question from the perspective of a PV2 battle buddy at least within one rank or two of the other.
As an officer, If I personally noticed the Soldier's attitude, I would not be having the discussion with the junior soldier. I would be having the discussion with the two senior soldiers (officer or enlisted) between he and I, and that is where I would be applying the fire.
If it were referred to me by his chain of command, I would assume that the NCO's or SNCO's were DONE with the Soldier and wanted me to apply the official tools they do not have in their personal tool bag. I feel obligated to give the Soldier a one time, short lived "second chance."
My words to him from my position as an officer, particularly as a field grade officer would be:
"You signed an obligation to the US Army. That obligation continues for ____ number of days. Understand that I will ensure that you live up to that obligation for every one of those days, or I will use you as an example to others, of the administrative and punitive consequences of choosing the wrong path."
"The next time you and I discuss your bad attitude, whether it is today, or the day before you EAS, it will be part of actions to administratively or punitively separate you from the service, with permanent consequences that will follow you into the civilian world. Do you know and understand those consequences or would you like the Personnel Chief to come in here and explain them to you?"
"SSG bunch will now escort you to a quiet place. You will keep your attitude in check until SSG Bunch tells you otherwise. You will have 5 minutes to be quietly and non-destructively angry. You will then tell SSG Bunch which path you choose. That choice is final and irreversible. Any questions?"
Is that more to your liking?
As an officer, If I personally noticed the Soldier's attitude, I would not be having the discussion with the junior soldier. I would be having the discussion with the two senior soldiers (officer or enlisted) between he and I, and that is where I would be applying the fire.
If it were referred to me by his chain of command, I would assume that the NCO's or SNCO's were DONE with the Soldier and wanted me to apply the official tools they do not have in their personal tool bag. I feel obligated to give the Soldier a one time, short lived "second chance."
My words to him from my position as an officer, particularly as a field grade officer would be:
"You signed an obligation to the US Army. That obligation continues for ____ number of days. Understand that I will ensure that you live up to that obligation for every one of those days, or I will use you as an example to others, of the administrative and punitive consequences of choosing the wrong path."
"The next time you and I discuss your bad attitude, whether it is today, or the day before you EAS, it will be part of actions to administratively or punitively separate you from the service, with permanent consequences that will follow you into the civilian world. Do you know and understand those consequences or would you like the Personnel Chief to come in here and explain them to you?"
"SSG bunch will now escort you to a quiet place. You will keep your attitude in check until SSG Bunch tells you otherwise. You will have 5 minutes to be quietly and non-destructively angry. You will then tell SSG Bunch which path you choose. That choice is final and irreversible. Any questions?"
Is that more to your liking?
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SSG (Join to see)
Maj John Bell It wasn't about my liking or not Sir. You asked how I would handle a situation like this, so my apologies if it came across as brash or offensive. Some may agree with the brash approach, others may not. Hence the 50/50 statement from my last post. My apologies for my very first post as well. You shouldn't poke the bear and I guess I did.
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Maj John Bell
SSG (Join to see) - I believe that RP is a chance for past present and future service members to discuss issues. I never take a difference of opinion as personal. When it comes to leadership, there are thousands of ways to skin the cat.
I do recognize a poke, but I also recognize that my blunt language to provokes the "poke." I am more than happy to share the blame for our conversation starting with a quick turn south. I am arrogant enough that when someone pokes, I rarely consider INITIALLY that I might be wrong, and assume that I communicated poorly. We rarely learn from those with whom we agree. In the future, I will endeavor to better frame the assumptions I've made, that go into my response.
I do recognize a poke, but I also recognize that my blunt language to provokes the "poke." I am more than happy to share the blame for our conversation starting with a quick turn south. I am arrogant enough that when someone pokes, I rarely consider INITIALLY that I might be wrong, and assume that I communicated poorly. We rarely learn from those with whom we agree. In the future, I will endeavor to better frame the assumptions I've made, that go into my response.
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Image: ACE suicide prevention program wins national recognition | Article ...
Found on Google from army.mil
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SPC Nicholas V.
Correct answer. Also, there is no repercussion for going to see the Chaplin. They are there for this very reason, they have to tools and resources to help your buddy cope, drive on, or get additional help where needed. When ever I run across a fellow military member or their family member in need of help, I direct them to a chaplain.
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