What do I do to help with the "problem child" in my unit? How do I motivate him and others to do their job better?

2018-06-15T20:23:55-04:00

I have a soldier in my company that is failing PT tests consistently, getting the rest of us in trouble by being FTR multiple times, has problems understanding what it asked of him, and cannot seem to maintain any motivation. Others are getting tired of him and just want him to quit. It's like everyone's given up on him.

I have offered my weekends to help get him back into shape on his run, have made multiple attempts to take him under my wing and help improve his job performance and there is always an excuse as to why he cannot do something. He spends all of his pay on pizza, junk food, and women. I want to help this soldier out because it seems like he has given up on himself and honestly I just think he needs motivation.

I know I'm just a PFC but I'd like any tips from a NCOs, officers, team leaders, etc that can help me motivate this soldier into improving himself and to motivate others when I hopefully become an NCO and inevitably have this situation spring up again. Thanks.

Response by SGT Jody Trapp made Jun 15 at 2018 8:32 PM

2018-06-15T20:32:18-04:00

Some times you can give all of yourself to that soldier ie free time, mentoring etc and they just don’t want to change. What has your leadership done to assist him? If it’s a failure to adapt situation then your command needs to address that. Just be his friend, battle buddy... sometimes that’s all a guy needs to get his act together

Otherwise it’s time to stop wasting the military’s money and have him chaptered..

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Jun 15 at 2018 8:33 PM

2018-06-15T20:33:16-04:00

You cannot save someone who doesn't want to improve. See if you can find out why he joined and if there is a reason there that can be used to encourage him. The question is what happened between basic and now since he would have washed out with this behaviour and attitude

Response by SPC Joseph Wojcik made Jun 15 at 2018 8:46 PM

2018-06-15T20:46:11-04:00

Show him the terrible job market on the outside, that should be motivational. Also, he might need a trip to behavioral heath to find the root of his binge eating and spending problem.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Jun 15 at 2018 9:12 PM

2018-06-15T21:12:33-04:00

Other suggestions?

Response by Maj John Bell made Jun 15 at 2018 9:25 PM

2018-06-15T21:25:51-04:00

I strongly suggest that you find a copy of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." Read the story of the concubines.

Down and dirty cliff notes, as a leader:
1) Make sure that your subordinates know and understand what is expected.
2) Make sure that your subordinates know how to do what is expected.
3) Make sure your subordinates are capable of doing what is expected.
4) If they up check on items 1-3 and just don't want to do what is expected... stop wasting your time. Off with their heads. (legal disclaimer: figuratively, not literally) Let their failure and resulting consequences serve as a lesson to those inclined to follow their example. There is far greater chances of victory in reinforcing success than in shoring up failure.

The problem child is not a child. He/she is an adult and should experience the learning point now, rather than later. My guess is that all their life people have picked up their load. They've become used to it, and expect it. Do you really want to serve next to that slug if next week you and your unit are in a shooting match?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2018 9:37 PM

2018-06-15T21:37:33-04:00

Like those above me have said, you can’t help him if he doesn’t want the help. You can try, try and try some more but at the end he is still going to do what he wants. Which from what you’ve said isn’t much. Honestly at this point he prob thought that the army is a “free ride” and needs to be chaptered. I do aplude you for trying as a PFC.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2018 10:29 PM

2018-06-15T22:29:16-04:00

I would sit down and talk to them, and find out what is going on. There may be issues going on outside of the military which could be affecting his performance. I have had Soldiers dramatically improve once they they realized what they want and that somebody had their back.

Response by SPC Douglas Bolton made Jun 15 at 2018 11:15 PM

2018-06-15T23:15:11-04:00

PFC Private RallyPoint Member I have a hard time giving up on someone. Don't know the specifics of this guy, but I would sit down with him as a friend and show him the direction he s going is not good. I would confront him to straighten up or be shipped out. When you have done all this and he still doesn't change let therArmy take it from there. You have tried your best.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Jun 15 at 2018 11:56 PM

2018-06-15T23:56:20-04:00

You are doing all you should and can. If you and your squad members are getting into trouble for another Soldiers actions that is wrong. Just continue to offer your support and do your job. You cannot save them all. It is your NCOs who need to do more. Thank you for your service.

Response by SPC Erich Guenther made Jun 16 at 2018 2:03 AM

2018-06-16T02:03:09-04:00

A long time ago when I was in the Army and this is going to sound selfish and un-Army like. The Chain of Command put more than one problem soldier in my room over my career hoping I would help them. After the first one wore me down I said to myself, never again would I bother unless the Soldier sincerely wanted my help.....it was me devising ways to make their life miserable. In my opinion you should do the same. Not your job to rehab people that can't make the cut. It is your job to help or assist the Army to get rid of them as fast as possible. Some people will not agree with me on that course of action but think about this for a moment. Your just prolonging the inevitable and endangering good Soldiers by attempting the stupid idea of attempting a salvage operation. Your being a nice guy is going to lower your morale to the point of you becomming unsalvageable. So give the guy a boot in the azz whenever you can. Drop a rifle bore brush in his boot in the morning before he gets up. Pour warm water around his waste at night when he is asleep and insist that it smells like he peed his bed the next morning. If he falls asleep during the duty day on his bed, tie his boot laces to the bed frame so that when he gets up he falls flat on his face. Flush all the toilets when he is in the shower. Stay away from electrifying his bed frame that is kind of dangerous if he makes his bed after getting out of the shower and he is still wet.........Well you get the idea. Let him know your tired of him and tired of pulling his weight. When he does screw up, point it out to the Chain of Command. Let your 1SG know in your opinion he is unsalvagable and it would be best to seperate him from the Army.

Response by Cpl Scott McCarroll made Jun 16 at 2018 10:56 AM

2018-06-16T10:56:22-04:00

PFC Private RallyPoint Member, first of all, you have the benefit of hundreds if not thousands members of this great place to put forth your question.

The one thing that I wonder is does he drink. I know that that can be something that can cause the things you have mentioned. If so you can speak with someone who can do an intervention and get him help with that monster.
Thanks for the Mention Lt Col Charlie Brown

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Jun 16 at 2018 11:07 AM

2018-06-16T11:07:37-04:00

Have a heart to heart talk- see what his plans are for the future. You can only motivate if they want to be motivated. Its possible, he wants out, and these actions are a sure way of doing it.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 16 at 2018 12:43 PM

2018-06-16T12:43:22-04:00

Honestly, as an enlisted soldier for four years I was in the position that I did not want to stay in any longer. I was pushed by several SFCs and SGTs to just go to the promotion board and make an informed decision afterwards. As a newly promoted Sergeant, I realize that a lot of younger soldiers who are placed away from family, normal life, and comforts like friends are looking for a new comfort zone. The point is if you don't outrank this soldier, there is a high chance he wont listen to you, at all. try to approach him as a friend as others on here have said. If that doesn't work, let your leadership know, preferably your first line NCO and let it be handled there. If he is trying to sneak through a military career by being a shi**ag and bringing everyone else down with him, it's time for him to get out. He may be one individual but soldiers like this make our Army, and our military weaker as a whole. Especially if we can not/will not weed them out. If one of my soldiers had this attitude/mentality, I would sit down with them in a professional environment (counseling session) and try to work out what the deal is. Lay out some guidelines, tasks, and goals to meet by a certain time. If they are not met or if the soldier is just not making any effort, I will begin the process. Again, as others have stated sometimes there are deeper root causes to this sort of behavior. Definitely not your job to do this PFC but it shows good character that you care like this.

Response by COL William Oseles made Jun 16 at 2018 3:05 PM

2018-06-16T15:05:12-04:00

Way back when Blanket Parties happened but that is no longer an acceptable option for motivation.
Your attitude in trying to help him is commendable, but the Bottom Line is YOU cannot fix him if he is unwilling. Until he is willing to accept help all you can do is offer but you are not responsible for his choices.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 16 at 2018 8:22 PM

2018-06-16T20:22:36-04:00

Some people just cannot be helped. That is the bitter truth.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 17 at 2018 8:14 AM

2018-06-17T08:14:45-04:00

It has to be more than talk. Instead of offering to run with him on Saturday, shows up to his room bright and early on Saturday and tell him it's time for a run. Make it fun so that he will want to do it again

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 17 at 2018 1:38 PM

2018-06-17T13:38:35-04:00

Chapter him. Not everyone can be saved.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 21 at 2018 1:03 PM

2018-06-21T13:03:33-04:00

Would you want this guy beside you in a gun fight? Sounds like you have done quite a bit already. Seems like he has chosen his path. You need to focus on making sure you stay a good soldier and set a good example for all those around you. Sometimes that is the best thing to do. Also.....if your leadership has let that go on this long I would question if that kid is the only one who is wrong.

Response by CAPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 19 at 2019 9:10 AM

2019-07-19T09:10:16-04:00

It would be one thing if he was putting forth effort (any effort), but if he is just going through the motions cut him loose. You and your unit need him to be in a certain level of fitness, and when things go bad it is too late to get there. It doesn't sound like there are any other mitigating factors that would preclude you cutting him. You are not the one giving up on him, he has laready done that himself.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2020 3:21 AM

2020-02-17T03:21:34-05:00

PFC Dennis Newport, I do commend you on stepping up to care for another warrior. If a soldier will not put forth the effort or at least attempt to improve.... sometimes even as NCOs ,there is a time to move away from a soldier.... not to misquote LTC Brown, but in my opinion this is that time. Always remember.... Soldier first, Mission always.
Keep up the motivation you have for other soldiers. You'll make a fine NCO when the time comes. Learn from each NCO you come in contact with to help develop your style of leadership good bad and ugly pick what develops YOU and how YOU want others to remember you as a leader.
I look forward to seeing you progress on here and seeing your name often as you pick up rank