What does it take to survive after a family member commits suicide?

2015-10-14T09:05:15-04:00

http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/lifestyle/2015/10/13/everyday-heroes-army-reservist-turned-personal-tragedy-to-greater-good/?intcmp=hplnws

God bless this and the many other families who have lost loved ones to suicide!

Everyday Heroes: An Army Reservist who turned personal tragedy to a greater good

For Osmany Hernandez, a chief warrant officer with the U.S. Army Reserve in Fort Knox in Kentucky, part of being a Christian is helping out people in his community.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Oct 14 at 2015 9:10 AM

2015-10-14T09:10:28-04:00

JP4 nailed it, but in addition to what he said, strength to focus on problems bigger than your own and understand others as you'd want them to understand you. We can't save everyone no matter what we may think, but we can arm them with the love, genuine caring, and mutual respect they are due, and HOPEFULLY that will be enough to stop just ONE person from taking their lives.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2015 9:18 AM

2015-10-14T09:18:07-04:00

When suicide happens we ask ourselves WHY.

Truth is we will never know. We simply must put it God's hand and go on.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Oct 14 at 2015 10:07 AM

2015-10-14T10:07:49-04:00

Sgt Spencer Sikder I know one family with three men who committed suicide. The grandfather is a retired Navy Captain. His son-in-law hung himself in the woods years ago. The eldest son hung himself in the exact same spot on an anniversary of the suicide. I met the younger son who was being treated for psychiatric disorders on and off. He was a quiet and thoughtful early 20's young man. We went to church together a couple times. I shared my own struggles with suicide with him. One evening he took his grandfather's shotgun and blew his brains out while sitting on the roof of the house.
For those of us who are believers in the sufficiency of Lord Jesus Christ to save us, we understand that suicide is not an unforgivable sin. I know believers who have committed suicide while in the midst of seemingly overwhelming depression - the young man I described above seemed to be a believer. I know of other suicides - purposeful and accidental - usually drug related.
God knows exacting when and where and how we will be born and He knows exactly when, where and how each of us will die. I try to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. Only a relationship with God through Christ will guarantee our destiny for eternal good and that relationship will help us in all phases of life. I hope and pray that each one of us recognizes the signs of depression in ourselves and in our friends and family members soon enough to help.
SMSgt Minister Gerald A. Thomas, CMSgt Mark Schubert, SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4", SGT Randal Groover, SGT Forrest Stewart

Response by Sgt Tom Cunnally made Oct 14 at 2015 10:49 AM

2015-10-14T10:49:02-04:00

You just do the best you can to move on with your life.. Each of us deals with grief differently and for me I just buried myself in work and listened to music a lot to keep from dwelling on why someone would take his own life at 38 years old..

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2015 10:55 AM

2015-10-14T10:55:47-04:00

Answering the question inside your own head, "what could I have done to prevent this?"
I applaud the Chief for what he has done to rise above the tragedy of losing his son.
I believe an once of prevention is worth more than any cure one could devise.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Oct 14 at 2015 11:12 AM

2015-10-14T11:12:12-04:00

How do you deal with the murderer or a loved one? Ultimately, grieving is replaced with anger when the family of a suicide realize that the person they have lost is one in the same as the murderer. That's the real challenge isn't it: Dealing with anger? How do you deal with anger? Forgiveness. Yes, I know. It's easier said than done, but that's what it takes. And forgiving yourself for the anger you feel towards a loved one. It's a double-whamy of anger...

Response by CPT Griff Tatum made Oct 14 at 2015 11:31 AM

2015-10-14T11:31:08-04:00

It takes understanding of a higher being. I witnessed a girlfriend about 2 years ago receive a phone call for the suicide of a loved one, and murder of two others in the same case. She had a hard time with it, but I think it's just trying to look at the positive things that can come out of it, like who they were, what they stood for, etc. This helped her be happy in their life instead of being mad about why it happened. She believed in God, however I think she struggled with finding him in it all. She's a trooper for sure, and I think the number one thing that gave her the will to survive is to just stay present, understand as much as you can, but don't think about it too much.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2015 4:56 PM

2015-10-14T16:56:51-04:00

It takes the support of those remaining family members who love and care for you. What those members do not understand is the depth of loss and the degree of grief which is sustained. And there is no way for that to be relayed. It takes understanding that time is infinite and that "You need to get over it" is not an acceptable suggestion. The reality is that we just need to be there for each other and remind why family and friendships are important. The best we can do is to be there... what will be, will be.