What does your family (i.e. parents, siblings, spouse, and children) know about your service?

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 01:56:14 -0500

Have you spoken to your family about your experience in the military? If you have deployed, are you able to talk to them about it? How do they react when you discuss the events that have taken place and the experiences that you have had, both good and bad?

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Nov 30 at 2017 2:12 AM

SPC Robert Coventry — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 02:12:55 -0500

Not much, i think we all should share details with your family

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 30 at 2017 2:28 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 02:28:30 -0500

Pretty sure they don't like it. I didn't even get letters in basic, and I'm fairly certain I won't get packages or letters if deployed. I don't think they support the fact that my brother and I joined up. Outside of military stuff they're supportive and want to help it seems, but anything involving the military is, "Well you chose to join". I've discovered I have two families, my brothers and my civilian family. If I need to talk about Army stuff, I go to my battles. If I need to talk about other stuff I go to my family.

I had a Sergeant who said if Soldiers aren't bitching they're not having fun. It's kinda true when I think about it. When we get together to have some fun, we bitch about stuff. Things that happened in the field, or in my case basic stories. To my family it seems like we're complaining rather than telling a story that we're all getting a laugh out of. Sometimes a response is, "if you hate it so much why don't you get out?" Maybe there's a gap that I haven't been able to bridge, maybe it can't be bridged. They also surprise me at times when they talk about being proud, and then there's some bitterness to it for me because if they were so proud why can't they communicate?

Went on for a bit there, anyway I'm learning that there's other support channels besides traditional family. On top of that, my brother and I share even more now both having joined up. My sister-in-law is about to have my nephew. We're surrounded by friends who have or do serve if not in the military than in police or fire so I see good things down the road.

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Nov 30 at 2017 3:32 AM

SPC Robert Coventry — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 03:32:18 -0500

My Dad was a WWII vet I regret I didn't "force" him to talk about it.

Response by SGT David T. made Nov 30 at 2017 8:04 AM

SGT David T. — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 08:04:33 -0500

Very little beyond basic info like I was in, deployed, etc. I don't generally discuss my service except with other vets. I have a hard time articulating it effectively so I just don't discuss it. With a vet I can say "well you were there so you know". Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it) I cannot do that with the majority of my family. I am not uncomfortable with the idea of discussing it, I just can't seem to find the right words to describe it effectively.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Nov 30 at 2017 9:38 AM

SGT Philip Roncari — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 09:38:55 -0500

In my case very little,outside of some humorous incidents that took place in training and Vietnam,in the latter I only feel comfortable on sites as RP and my battalion web site or CIB association site mostly because I feel my memories would only be relevant to those who have served,

Response by SPC Diana D. made Nov 30 at 2017 9:43 AM

SPC Diana D. — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 09:43:19 -0500

SGT Joseph Gunderson I come from a military family and thought that we had talked about everything but that all changed when my son got shipped to Iraq. My father, who was a veteran, did not serve in any conflicts, and I never served in any conflicts. Today's military is a totally different ballgame!!

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Nov 30 at 2017 11:38 AM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 11:38:45 -0500

I have written a book and they know that. But there are things which were left out and will stay that way. I never discuss with the wife, she wouldn't understand. I got my Brothers I discuss with.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Nov 30 at 2017 6:54 PM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 18:54:52 -0500

Other than the fact that I'm a Marine, absolutely nothing. With ISIS putting out hitlists and targeting servicemembers families, I felt it best that they know as little as possible so they can't even mention something in passing that would put a target on their backs. I might have an insignificant job compared to some, but who knows if ISIS might see a value in it enough to target my family.

Response by SP5 Dennis Loberger made May 13 at 2018 10:32 PM

SP5 Dennis Loberger — Sun, 13 May 2018 22:32:07 -0400

I have discussed my draft letter, physical and arrival at Ft Leonard Wood. The rest of my time I have not shared with my family.

Response by SP5 Dennis Loberger made Mar 22 at 2019 9:52 PM

SP5 Dennis Loberger — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 21:52:20 -0400

Not much

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 23 at 2019 8:38 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sat, 23 Mar 2019 20:38:43 -0400

That I pay the bills.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2019 12:51 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 May 2019 12:51:18 -0400

My wife is a pastor's kid, so she knows a lot of what I deal with. I also worked as a full-time hospital chaplain in our first year of marriage, so spilled the beans on a lot of chaplaincy stuff. Between the two, she can easily guess the rest.
Kids, no. Nothing. Daddy goes away for some time here and there.
Parents, my Dad was an Army officer, so he and my mom understand some. But the Army-Navy cultural differences are there, as well as 40 years between experiences. So, some familiarity, and a great deal of not. Don't really talk about it.
Grandparents, I just started my career when one grandfather passed. The other passed away well before. But I heard a few thoughts of the one who had served. Wish he was still around to talk with.
Sister and her fam, and extended family, yeah no idea.
I share the "fun stuff", pictures, funny stories. The AMCROSSes, counseling (can't share that anyway), military life, never see the light of day, with one exception. Hurricanes Irma and Maria. The stresses so close to home were different than overseas experiences.