What Funny Military Punishments Have You Heard Of?

SSgt Gregory Guina — Wed, 04 Jun 2014 12:11:18 -0400

Please add anything that you have seen.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 31 at 2014 3:36 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 15:36:03 -0400

I think the most interesting corrective training I have ever seen was for a Soldier who basically had a "dead-man's profile" and couldn't do most physical activity.  Since the Soldier couldn't do anything the NCO was saying to do, he decided to tell the Soldier to do 500 eye blinks, and count them out loud.  I don't know, but I would imagine this would constitute as hazing, as with the long list listed in this article.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2014 12:57 AM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 28 Apr 2014 00:57:48 -0400

nothing more frustrating then filling sandbags with a fork

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2014 1:22 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 18 May 2014 13:22:27 -0400

When I was a 1LT during a field exercise I hung a fake snake up in my Commander's CP - it scared the crap outta her, she put me on radio guard for the rest of the night, around 3am she told me to go to bed. She was pissed but my platoon loved me forever!!!

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made Jun 4 at 2014 12:34 PM

SSgt Gregory Guina — Wed, 04 Jun 2014 12:34:18 -0400

My buddy told me that while he was in boot camp that he was forced to stand in front of the miror and yell "i'm not fat" then poitn to the mirror "you are fat". He said this went on for about 20 minutes before the Drill Instructor had had enough.

Response by Capt Richard Desmond made Jul 30 at 2014 10:51 AM

Capt Richard Desmond — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 10:51:49 -0400

When I was a butter bar in the Air Force at a Helicopter Maintenance Unit we had a maintainer refueling a helicopter without the proper personal protective equipment (PPE). What was required was a face shield, a fire retardant smock, and fire retardant gloves, along with having his ABU blouse on. He did not have any of this on. My Chief decided his just punishment was to have all of this equipment on for an entire week everywhere he went while carrying a huge book that we put on the covers "I failed to follow Technical Orders (TO or Tech Data) and was unsafe"

Response by PFC Zanie Young made Jul 30 at 2014 12:01 PM

PFC Zanie Young — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:01:52 -0400

Try putting your DI in a dying cockroach position for losing in a game of "Identify the Grenade"...

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jul 30 at 2014 12:12 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:12:48 -0400

Cleaning the bathroom/head/latrine in any way shape or form even as a civilian. When the bathroom garbage can starts overflowing that's usually the indication from the Mrs. that I screwed something up, so first order of business that Saturday is a GI scrub of the facilities both upstairs and downstairs.

Response by SFC Jeff L. made Jul 30 at 2014 12:37 PM

SFC Jeff L. — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:37:48 -0400

Cannon-cockers. A young Specialist ripped the mirror off his HMMWV during a training exercise. We were able to secure a replacement without involving leadership (DXd vehicle). Our platoon held a kangaroo court with lawyers appointed from his peers. Guy was sentenced to do 10 cannon-cockers in front of the platoon for wrecking his vehicle. Cannon-cockers are done starting at Attention -->front leaning rest--> push-up-->Attention --> yell "BOOM! One cannon-cocker, Sergeant!" and repeat increasing the number of pushups, "booms", and numerical identifier appropriately each time. Hilariously funny, and ol' dude never had to do the full 10, we were laughing too hard and felt too bad for him.

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Aug 25 at 2014 4:57 AM

Sgt Packy Flickinger — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 04:57:18 -0400

My dad (Old Corps, Korea) used to tell me the stories of the "this is my rifle.... this is my "gun"..." punishment. I'm sure youve heard it SSgt.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Aug 25 at 2014 5:05 AM

SFC Mark Merino — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 05:05:16 -0400

NCO's lead the way!

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 1:48 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 13:48:53 -0500

Those are funny, SSgt Gregory Guina! My favorite was the "would you like fries with that?" pushups. That's some fun stuff! I always wanted to be a Drill Sergeant. I'm sure it's hard work, but there must be good times as well. And you're training the next generation. Thanks for sharing this article.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 2:06 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 14:06:54 -0500

Upon returning from my first tour in Afghanistan, I was in charge of the 2-3 Soldiers PCSing/ETSing/MEBing. We had to do police call around the building, and one of them starting to complain and whine about it. So me, being the fresh E-5 "buck sergeant" trying to establish my authority, needed to lay down the law. I thought to myself, "this dude is acting like a little kid..." and put him in the corner for Time Out. My 1SG walked in, saw this, asked what the hell was going on, and when I explained the situation, he nearly died laughing.

Response by SPC James Mcneil made Jan 20 at 2015 9:28 PM

SPC James Mcneil — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 21:28:04 -0500

Picture it. A wall clock being used as part of the uniform on a soldier who was habitually late. Every hour on the hour, he had to find me to declare at the top of his lungs the correct time and then drop to do 10 pushups. I told him not to let the clock hit the floor. He did to find out what I'd do, and I added a zero. After 100 pushups, he never let the clock hit the floor again, and after that day he was never late again.

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 10 at 2015 8:21 PM

SSG Paul Setterholm — Sun, 10 May 2015 20:21:02 -0400

I was active duty infantry before joining the guard. It was 2 years before they sent me to artillery school. The colonel liked me for whatever reason and made me his driver. He took me to observe a firing battery and had me stand next to the howitzers tube and said watch and you'll see the round leave. He left to talk to the officers. 1st round went off and it blasted through the trees. I thought that this was odd. Wouldn't it change the tragetory? Then I saw plate come off the back of the round and rattle through the branches. Someone yelled ceasefire and then there was silence. I stood around and everyone exited and waited for range control. I thought I would go look for that plate just out of curiosity. I didn't find it. When I came back the crew was being reamed out and the SSG was nearly in tears.
Some years later I was exchanging "war stories" in our nightly "tent talk" on an exercise and an officer got excited and said,"you saw the misfire!" I didn't realize what I had witnessed.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made May 12 at 2015 10:06 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Tue, 12 May 2015 22:06:30 -0400

Cadre caught me chewing gum in class. Solution, place chewing gum in R/L ear. Habit cured!

Wearing helmet liners during warm day class room instruction - Nod your head twice and cadre would rap the helmet liner with a swagger stick. Wow, what happened?

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2015 10:49 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 13 May 2015 10:49:14 -0400

Nothing 'funny' about this punishment...

But, THIS certainly doesn't make that Article 15 or GOMOR seems so bad, afterall...

(Looks like North Korea executed its Chief of Defense, by way of anti-aircraft fire, for dozing off in a meeting and, subsequent, insubordination.)

So, I guess it could always be worse...
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/05/13/north-korea-reportedly-kills-its-defense-chief-in-horrific-way-for-falling-asleep-during-meeting-with-kim-jung-un/

This isn't so much 'funny', as much as it is 'creative', I guess..... (using anti-aircraft fire to OFF your Defense Chief...)

North Korea Reportedly Kills Its Defense Chief in Horrific Way for Falling Asleep During Meeting...

Update: The spy agency in South Korea later clarified that its intelligence had not verified the North Korean defense chief's execution, but confirmed he was "purged." Original story follows. — SEOUL, South Korea(TheBlaze/AP) — South Korea's spy agency says it has information that North Korea executed...

Response by SFC Joseph James made Jul 20 at 2015 2:17 AM

SFC Joseph James — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 02:17:22 -0400

The Duck Walk while singing "I walk like a duck cause I'm all f'd up... Quack Quack, Quack Quack! " Loved Fort Campbell!

Response by SGT William Howell made Jul 20 at 2015 12:40 PM

SGT William Howell — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 12:40:22 -0400

Sutton and I were chilling in the S6 shop one day in Iraq when the Polish MPs came in with a M9 that they found in the crapper. Sure enough it was Sutton's soldier. He waits for about 3 days for the soldier to report that he lost his pistol. He is caring just his rifle. After 3 days Sutton calls for an inspection of all sensitive items. The soldier finally tells him he has lost his pistol. Sutton puts him in and the soldier gets an Art-15 and is reduced to PV1. Sutton takes his pistol and tells him he is going to carry his rifle for the rest of the tour. About a month later the Polish MPs show up again with a M-4. Sure enough it is the same soldiers. Sutton losses his mind and about this time this kid walks through the door. Sutton smokes him for about an hour and then tells him he is going to dummy cord the rifle to him and he better never take it off. There is a spool of 550 cord in the shop, it had to be at least a couple thousand feet. He starts dummy cording this guy up. Sutton just keeps wrapping him around and around. He uses the entire spool. I mean this guy looks like a mummy from head to toe in 550 cord. Sutton tells him that if he takes it off it will be the last thing he ever does, then sends him on his way. I finally say to him, "You feel better?"

Sutton looks at me and says, " I just couldn't stop. It felt so good." About an hour later he goes and finds him. He had to cut the 550 cord off him because there was so much of it. He gave him a 5 foor lead after that. That soldier did wear that dummy cord right up till we turned in weapons to go home.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Jul 20 at 2015 1:18 PM

LTC Kevin B. — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 13:18:01 -0400

I remember two separate punishments back in the 80s involving having to cut grass.

1. Two guys were given a pair of scissors and a ruler, then told to cut the grass in front of the Battalion HQ to 2.5 inches high (as punishment for coming up positive on a urinalysis).
2. Another guy was told to mow the parade field (as punishment for a DUI), using a push mower, while wearing his helmet and web gear. Plus, they parked a MOGAS tanker out there, just so that he couldn't say that he "ran out of gas".

Response by SPC Tiffany Ivanov made Jul 21 at 2015 11:05 PM

SPC Tiffany Ivanov — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 23:05:13 -0400

In Basic Training a young private came in with a wicked eyebrow.... Singular. It looked like a caterpillar across his entire forehead. Naturally, our Field Artillery Drill Sergeants gave him hell. Day 3 he runs down to PT formation with 2 neat eyebrows. He had shaved the middle and made himself look less like something from Sesame Street.
One look at him and DS told him to go secure a Sharpie immediately, where they then drew back his eyebrows, and told him to draw them Every Day until they grew back. He spent the next week dress right dressing the rock garden in his "spare" time.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 27 at 2016 12:20 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 27 May 2016 12:20:16 -0400

When I was in basic, there was an intercom system the cadre used to "spy" on the barracks when the TIs were not around. This one guy thought it would be funny to stand under the speaker one day and yell "Beam me up, Scotty". Voice comes over the intercom, "Beam your ass down to the orderly room ASAP". Poor slug had to stand outside the orderly room for several days and greet everyone who entered with the Vulcan hand salute and "Live Long and Prosper".

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Aug 18 at 2016 9:06 AM

PO3 Donald Murphy — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 09:06:38 -0400

In boot camp we had to fold things a certain way to make sure it fit in your duffel bag. The shirts in particular, had a distinctive fold. You had to fold it towards you not away from you. If you folded it away from you it was called a "Superman fold" (up and away). One of our company did it twice. The company commanders grabbed both of his incorrectly folded shirts and tucked them into the back of his shirt to make a cape. He then had to "fly" to each of us and say "I'm superman twice; ain't that nice." Someone invariable laughed. That someone then had to walk behind him and stop in front of each of us and laugh.

It broke down after that...

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Oct 20 at 2016 8:16 AM

Sgt Dale Briggs — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 08:16:02 -0400

We were in Viegas PR qualifying the USS Garcia. We were in the field just finished up and the guys were jumping into the truck, the driver tied up the flaps and tossed in a smoke grenade. What he didn't notice was the 1st Sgt was in the truck. I think the poor guy who did it got rotated to mess duty to guard duty and back again. Most probably the 1st Sgt.. Ah gave him some personal counciling as well, he was a really big man too. The punishment not so funny, but the look on the guys face when he knew the 1st Sgt was in the truck was priceless. I'm guessing this 1977 or so, my memory fades with time.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Sep 10 at 2019 4:26 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 16:26:53 -0400

Someone snuck food out (hershey bar) to survival. We as a team had to dig a 6x6x6 burial plot and hold a funeral for the hershey bar and bury it.

Heard of a guy one day the was told to go mop up rain when it was raining cats and dogs...Another guy had to vacuum concrete.

One guy didn't pin his arms when he pivoted marching so they made him stand at the end of the chow line every night and pivot with his arms out when the next person came by and every time he pivoted he had to yell "I am a helicopter..WOP WOP" until the last person came through the line then he was able to eat.

Response by 1SG Steven Imerman made Sep 10 at 2019 4:42 PM

1SG Steven Imerman — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 16:42:40 -0400

When I was a drill at FLW, the chowhalls appealed to the Bde. commander to stop any kind of other than verbal correction actually in the dining facility. So, when any talking, dropping, spilling, or other infraction took place, we yelled, "When you're outside, hit the tree."

Behind the messhall there was an old gnarly mulberry tree with about 8-10 thick stems coming up from the ground at all angles. The trainee told to hit the tree would don his poncho, snap it down both sides, get a perch in the tree, flap his arms, and call out the appropriate words. We could get up to about 10-12 kids in there without anyone being more than 6 feet or so off the ground.

One day we had about 8 trainees in the tree, in their ponchos, flapping their arms, and calling out over and over at the top of their lungs, "I am a shitbird, I cannot fly," when the Bde. commander walked by. That was the end of that.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 10 at 2019 5:45 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 17:45:51 -0400

LRRP school at Ft. Bragg, someone had a bottle of Coke in the barracks, which was found at 0200hrs. The cadre had all of us at attention outside and watched as the solder had to low crawl under the wooded barracks with his coke bottle, then dig a 6x6xYou hole, and bury the coke bottle. After burying the coke bottle, he had to then dig it up, clean it, and throw it into the trash can. 0400hrs was first call, PT and back to training with no sleep.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 22 at 2019 7:59 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 22 Sep 2019 19:59:44 -0400

In BCT, a soldier has a profile against anything physically exerting. He thought he was untouchable and wanted to run his mouth a bit more. The Drill Sergeant told this private to unlace their boots BUT NOT TOO FAST....to avoid physically exerting themself of course. So the private did. When he was done, he was informed to lace them back up. The private laughed a bit and saw what was happening and followed the order. After 30 minutes of this you could easily see how miserable the private was and regretted thinking they could become anything close to untouchable.