What happened in your career that 'broke you'

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 21:27:24 -0400

Was there ever an event in your career that changed everything you had ever planned on doing based on negative experiences?

For example, when I was a Private First Class, I was a very motivated soldier with aspirations to go to any school possible (Airborne, Air Assault, Ranger, SFAS), there wasn't a thing I didn't want to do in the military.

My work ethic and motivation was noticed by my leadership and I was told that I was being put in for a waiver for Specialist, which would have put me on the fast track to getting my career moving where I wanted it. Time after time I was passed up for my waiver by soldiers who were far less worthy of the waiver being that they were PT failures, had discipline issues etc. I found out later on that my leadership was using the idea of giving me a waiver to Specialist as a kind of carrot to dangle in front of me so I would continue being their "go-to" guy.

From that moment on, I had had it. Gone were the days of me volunteering and putting myself out there, I was burned out from all the things I had done for absolutely no gain. I decided from then on I would do my job and nothing more, though I wouldn't become a delinquent and do anything to ruin my career.

I made a promise to myself that if I ever became an NCO, I wouldn't treat my soldiers the way I was treated, and any soldier who would demonstrate to me that they would go above and beyond would get the recognition they deserve instead of dangling that metaphorical carrot over their faces.

Has anyone had a similar experience? If so, please share.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 17 at 2015 9:36 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 21:36:54 -0400

I can tell you that busting your ass, going above and beyond, out shining your peers or whatever you want to call it and watching those that underperform get promoted or rated top of the line never stops as you get more rank. I can sympathize with you on this one. I work with other "NCOs" who should probably be E4s as that is how they act. When I call them out during a one on one conversation there feelings get hurt. I really wish Leaders and other NCOs would call these Soldiers out, but no one will!! They are too scared of hurting feelings and telling these under performers what they really are. Instead they get promoted and get lazier and breed other under performers by setting that example!!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 17 at 2015 10:19 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 22:19:04 -0400

PTSD I had to get unbroken.

Response by SPC Danny Cannon made Apr 17 at 2015 10:45 PM

SPC Danny Cannon — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 22:45:44 -0400

I worked outside of my career field as a Small Arms Repair for unit level Supply. I hurt myt back severely. I am finally, after 18 years, able to claim disability for it.
My problem came when my new First Sgt. called me I his office and chewed me out for falling an injury. Several times called me a name rhyming with "wussy" and asked me if I intended to be a burden on the U.S. Army and the American taxpayer for the rest of my life.
HIS TALK WITH ME FOLLOWS. I WILL NEVER FORGET IT.

"Are you the kind of broke [Richard] who wants somebody else to have to support your lazy [bottom] because you can't handle your job? You signed up for this, boy. Are you going to try to take the [bull manure] route and get a medical discharge? Or are you going to try tho grow a pair of [testicles] and though out your last 9 months of duty? I know you just joined for the college money you little piece of [feces] and your type makes me want to vomit on your mother. Now which is it? You gonna make me have too explain to my CoC that I have a company full off broke [Richard] soldiers who can't cut it or are you going to grow a pair and do your times like a man?"

I tried to tough it out. I went to therapy. I did every thing I could but he gave me 2 weeks to get off of profile or he said he'd write me up for dereliction of duty. In ran my PT test too soon and went SPLAT on Geronimo's Trail, out back of Ft. Still when my left knee gave out. Rather than show concern and respect for my attempt, he began trying to chapter mine out for "pattern of misconduct". I was helped by the NCOs who knew my work ethic and trusted me. They taught me to cover my steps by using a paper trail. That is the only thing that saved my butt.
I had never had a "bad" 1st Sgt before. I felt betrayed. I didn't know what to do. He had just gotten to the unit when the accident in my Arms Room happened. I caught 8 .50 cals with no barrels as they fell out of a wall locker. I've never been the same since. He said that if I couldn't show physical proof of my injury, it didn't exist.
When I told him that I really didn't know what to do because now I needed surgery on my knee, and X-Rays could prove it, he called me a waste of flesh. He said, and I quote, " I will make it my mission to insure that you never get to use that college money that means so much to you. I promise that I will have you Chaptered out of MY ARMY with the worst possible discharge I can make you have."
Again, thanks to REAL leaders, my locations were all documented and I left with 60 days of paid, accrued leave (he would not sign off on any leave, not even to go watch my littlest sister graduate from High School). I also received an Honorable Discharge, but I had to use JAG to do so.
When he did all of that, I decided that maybe I did need to be a civilian again.

I miss my old friends but we're still in touch. At least, all of the ones who really mattered to me.

Response by SSG Rick Cartwright made Apr 17 at 2015 10:54 PM

SSG Rick Cartwright — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 22:54:49 -0400

Recruiting assignment after Desert Storm.... Ruined my career..

Response by A1C Candise Wolfrom made Apr 17 at 2015 10:55 PM

A1C Candise Wolfrom — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 22:55:03 -0400

I was working hard to get my 5 level in my career field. We were held to the same medical standards as pilots because we were air traffic controllers. I had a medical issue that could potentially cause ulcers and foot problems. Because of this, they took my job away from me instead of trying to work to get me to a point where it wasn't an issue. I busted my tail, doing everything asked of me and then some. But because of a couple fairly minor issues, they gave up on me, including my chief who I had the utmost respect for and who told me about the potential he saw in me. It broke me and I stopped trying so hard. Ended up getting honorably discharged halfway through my first enlistment. I still don't regret my service, though, and would do it all over again if I was give the choice.

Response by CPT Bruce Rodgers made Apr 17 at 2015 11:12 PM

CPT Bruce Rodgers — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 23:12:45 -0400

An IED hit my convoy, My driver panicked and over corrected his steering, we rolled down an embankment in our HUMVEE and my back was broken in two places, my driver broke his neck so I am fortunate

Response by SSG Melvin Nulph made Apr 17 at 2015 11:39 PM

SSG Melvin Nulph — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 23:39:30 -0400

Yes I've had something close. But we had promotion boards I passed the E-4 board as an E-2, was on or in charge of most detail they had and with the 10th Mtn taking over Ft Drum, they had a lot. Maxed weapons, M16, M60, 203, & M2. Pulled doubles on vehicle start in the winter months and learnt so much the boards wasn't that hard. 3 soldiers I went to basic and AIT got in some trouble lost rank but was soon higher rank than me. Their wives spoke to mine and before I knew it she wanted a divorce, then didn't but did some crap I couldn't forgive, so we were divorced. Then the alocations came down and they got E-4's put on when I hit the 12th month and got my Pfc. The type of person I am, I asked right on up the NCO support channel. All I got was, "we'll look into it" and they did. They sat me down in front of the comander who was the one that didn't know what the NCO's wanted, but had his own way of doing things. Seeing the NCO's faces and having them stand behind "me" the way they did from an E-5 to an E-9 ment more to me than a Cpt. that was trying to get the weight limits up for the married soldiers? Aint that somw shit? He knew i was getting a divorced and because they was deactivating our company He was looking after families. That is a good thing too. The NCO's were pissed off, but I asked them not to be, I made my rake on time, they had taught me so much I was ready and didn't want to see them "step-on-it" as they use to call it. That Cpt. Even changed the name on an AAM so it fit a soldier that was there, for when the news paper people came? I did the work for 3 weeks, this other guy came for a half day while I was in the ER and got the award. Again I had to ask the same NCO's to not be angry. It worked, took longer but it worked. They took me out, got me drunk and beat the tar out of me, lol, the 1SG and CSM didn't go, but I didn't get mad. See I had to set down and let them know what my childhood was like I learnt young not all you earn will come to you, but In the Army nothing bad will, (all but the black eye, and split lip). I was happy to have a job, away from my so called family with people that cared for me as a soldier. Before I left Ft Drum, I got my E-4P, the PFC the got my award and two of the ones promoted to Spc ahead of me out of 3, 2 were busted all hot on a pissed test. I was the only one that didn't get a PCS award, was told the comander forgot, but I didn't care I wanted more than a damn
award and I got it. When I was leaving all my NCO's was there with my leave for in there hands to make sure nothing went wrong. And I felt like a million bucks. Never had anything like that happen again and I PCSed on avg every two years. My father's friends from the Nam area told me how things can get messed up. They was dead on with that Commander, but then they never thought I'd make it out of Basic Training. Little over 20 years later I had to leave the Army and I have no regrets of any of it. I'm a better person for it and like you, I never let my soldiers get over looked for great jobs, but never recommended them for shit they didn't earn either.
Sometimes things do not go the way we want, think of your worst day in life when that happens, if it's bad enough you'll know things ain't that bad and you'll walk away with a smile on your face. Just don't go drinking with people that find it hard to let simple things go. It does hurt When you wake up!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 12:56 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:56:22 -0400

The final straw for me is feeling like my career has been put on hold and I am sitting stagnant in my career. I have been following the road map laid out by my regiment and I come to this place and I am having to put my career on hold because they don't have people to fill spots that I have already done. I can not sit around and let someone else control my career, because people who do never get anywhere in the military.

Response by SPC Angel Guma made Apr 18 at 2015 1:14 AM

SPC Angel Guma — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:14:22 -0400

Realizing my beloved Army was full of people (particularly NCOs) without a shred of maturity or duty. For me it was the death of a thousand cuts rather than one formative experience. Oh how I wish people would have put on their uniform and gear and believed in the Soldier's Creed. I still hold out for the day that this will change. Why, why do the brown nosers and political backstabbers always spread their disease? Protecting this country is too important for such childish behavior.

The day I realized though that no amount of 'being the change' I wanted to see was really going to change how rotten things had become. So many people told me that (set the example you want to see out of others), but read some of the other stories people are saying here, how can you when you have such rotten people in positions like being 1sgt or commander? Sometimes, you just can't win. But I keep my pride no matter what.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 1:53 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:53:12 -0400

Didn't happen to me personally but to friends of mine. A soldier that was unable to obtain the clearance needed to work as a linguist for the NSA was awarded linguist of the quarter based on him working in the o room and never doing the duties of a linguist. My linguist friends saw it as a slap in the face to the countless hours of work they did as actual linguist.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 2:00 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 02:00:25 -0400

I went through that situation a long time ago, and I don't go out of my way to burn myself out to be a squared away Soldier.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 4:05 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 04:05:06 -0400

We all get frustrated and have seen what you are talking about. i have a break of service and can say that the same thing happens in the Civilian sector as well.

I have had many superiors within my M.O.S. try to ruin my motivation but all have failed. Although they do not see it I am a great leader who takes my personal time to assist any Soldier wanting help or advice at any time of day. I ALWAYS answer my phone. You never know what that individual needs.

I feel success through the Soldiers I assist. I enjoy life in my own special way. I try to help others envision what they enjoy.

The biggest take away is to not let them defeat you. Personal drive and motivation is the key to success. No matter how much they try to bring you down continue to drive for superior performance.

If you allow the superiors to get to you then they win.

I like your attitude about remembering what you went through and assisting young Troops.

Always maintain the highest standard in everything you do. Stay Strong and prove them wrong!

Response by CPL Hayward Johnson made Apr 18 at 2015 5:55 AM

CPL Hayward Johnson — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 05:55:24 -0400

For me it was during the initial O.I.F campaign. I was a a squad leader in the motar platoon and the night we rolled over the border our track had been rear ended by a fellow sqauds track. Needless to say our track was basically a Frankenstein after that. We eventually caught back up to our platoon in a convoy in the middle of Iraq and our vehicle started to drag ass, so we pulled over and tried to assess the problem. Our plt sgt came by screaming and arguing that i need to get the track back up and running. After all said and done he dropped a case of mre's and a box of water and said see yall later. 2 bridgades passed us on the side of the road not 1 vehicle stopped to ask if we was ok. I finally found out what the problem was on the track we got it fixed and drove on, eventually again regrouping with our platoon. So here we are me and my 4 squad members back with our platoon in a firing position setting off high angel hell and across the radio i hear my plt agt yelling at ua again saying we arent moving fast enough and that i need to set fire under my gunners ass to keep him moving. Hes yelling at me im yelling at them and then it hit me...i told them all to calm down and why are we yelling at each other? We were the ones who got left behind...the 5 of us together. ..we pulled through when they said sorry for ya and dropped off a box of water and mre's. ..so if anything we should not be at each others throats. .we shouldn't be yelling at each other...we all came too and said to each other. ..damn he's right and we all apologized to ea other and that was it. When the plt sgt came over acreaming and yelling about is getting our asses in gear we all looked at him like he was off his freaking rockers and nonchalantly ignored him and his yelling and carried on with what we had going on.. now that i think about it...that may be the reason why i dont really get inapired by "leadership " people

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 6:26 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:26:10 -0400

I have been bent and beat up but I will never let the Army break me!

Response by SGT Neil Doty made Apr 18 at 2015 8:03 AM

SGT Neil Doty — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 08:03:17 -0400

My last straw that made me leave was i had an E-7 that earned his rank being a recruiter and didn't know his job at all was trying to tell other nco's i was a shitty nco and didn't think highly of me as a person or nco i think that changed it all for me i ended up getting out of the army cause of him and i didn't want to change units i liked the people i was with and like the post i was on

Response by SGT John Wesley made Apr 18 at 2015 12:52 PM

SGT John Wesley — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 12:52:02 -0400

I think after Desert Storm. I was motivated, had numerous awards and citations. Top scores in SQT etc. but as the RIF came out in 92-93, I just became a number for the bean counters in DC and they offered me Patriot Repair, but I already knew that promotions in that field were stagnated and eventually took my small golden parachute bonus and left.

It left a bad taste in my mouth for a long time. I was offered a promotion of i joined the ANG but I declined... Took me a few years to come around and now I'm grateful for the time I spent in the Army, it made me who I am now. So regrets are gone, just good memories.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 4:42 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 16:42:04 -0400

This new army generation...it's still slowly workin on me...it broke me and I still have a hard time believing all these people who feel so entitled to so much...

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made Apr 18 at 2015 4:55 PM

CH (CPT) Heather Davis — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 16:55:25 -0400

While I was a young E-5 during 1988, I was the first female serving in my division. My record was reviewed openly by all of my peers before I integrated in the unit. I was a hard charger and was not easily intimidated. I did not tolerate crude sexual comments, and I was punched in the face in formation.

I did not call EO, Chaplain, or IG, my main objective was to get off of the floor, and get back into formation. I knew my job, and I did my job, Since he was also an E-5 with 19 years in and expecting his second baby I did not file charges.

I took the high road and stayed out of the weeks. I would not say it broke me, however now that I am a Chaplain I say not on my watch!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2015 5:04 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 17:04:49 -0400

My son died just before I took a job as an S3. I buried myself in my work, did a great job, and was told I was on track to get "stair-stepped." After not emotionally dealing with the loss of my son, it caught up to me around the time I transitioned to XO. I was depressed, and that wasn't my best performance. I didn't feel my chain of command was that supporting, but that was probably a much my fault as anyone else's for bottling it up internally. Long story short, that report as an XO pretty much guarantees I won't make Bn Cmd, so my career is limited. That said, I don't let it sour me. Being in a position where I can just focus on mission and taking care of Soldiers and not worry about trying to politic for the right next job to keep on "the track" has actually made my current assignment very enjoyable. There's always a silver lining. Sometimes it takes awhile to recognize it.

Response by 1LT Nick Kidwell made Apr 18 at 2015 5:06 PM

1LT Nick Kidwell — Sat, 18 Apr 2015 17:06:57 -0400

Happens in the civilian world too. Believe me.

Response by CH (MAJ) William Beaver made Apr 19 at 2015 1:21 AM

CH (MAJ) William Beaver — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 01:21:31 -0400

Paying huge amounts of 'child support' to the ex. That pretty much broke me.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Apr 19 at 2015 1:25 AM

COL Charles Williams — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 01:25:54 -0400

Too Easy... SGT Private RallyPoint Member. I was investigated by the DAIG (and flagged) for a BS allegation (which happens when you are a commander, or leader; more so the higher you go in the hierarchy). This took over 39 months, and unfortunately I learned, contrary to what I believed until then, in the military (at least with regards to EO and IG), you are guilty until you prove you are innocent.

I lost over 3 years of life, waiting, wondering, worrying.

Luckily, the DODIG overturned everything, and restored balance to my universe...

But, they could not return the lost time to me.

CSM Private RallyPoint Member The Army didn't break me... but my perspective sure changed.

Response by SSG Lloyd Becker BSBA-HCM, MBA made Apr 19 at 2015 2:03 AM

SSG Lloyd Becker BSBA-HCM, MBA — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 02:03:08 -0400

I never was political enough. The Army was paying me to get the job done and I did that. Each unit I went to, after about 6 months there, I was not very appreciated, because I pushed in the direction my duties called for.

The point is, is that I am chemical, rest of the units I have been to were anything but chemical. My EERs could never make it past 122. It put me in the "Peter Principle" where I could never get promoted and I could never get reduced.

Yet, I became the fixer of problems because my Commands knew I could fix problems. The only thing was, was I was not political; I just got the job done.

This was 27 years ago for me and I sometimes still fume about, because they had no interest in how well I can do my job.

I did step outside of my boundaries and started using the Aiming Circle. It was to verify the lay for safety. My Commander was happy that I did it. While I had stressful years, I enjoyed my time emensely.

Response by Matthew Torrelli made Apr 19 at 2015 10:27 AM

Matthew Torrelli — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 10:27:34 -0400

Yes I was in a fenced in brigade at campbell and could not get any pcs orders or school dates as a NCO but I could get them low rated on post classes that didn't mean anything. I spent 5 yrs as a specialist and close to 9 as a SGT(E-5) till my medical discharge in 2013.

Response by PO1 John Meyer, CPC made Apr 19 at 2015 11:56 AM

PO1 John Meyer, CPC — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 11:56:29 -0400

For me, it was staff duty.

I got to that command wanting to hit the floor running. I knew that if I did at least a decent job, I'd be a shoe in for Chief Petty Officer. But that was not to be.

I got burnt out really quick with all the politics that are involved in staff duty; it was my first staff assignment.

My leadership skills were also in direct conflict with my immediate CoC's definition of leadership skills. I prefer to lead by example and to mold my juniors instead of simply barking orders at them. I also want to install trust between myself and my juniors by letting them off the chain as much as I could, thereby allowing them to grow and use their own experiences to become a better sailor. That CoC didn't know the meaning of the word trust. I even had the Division Officer ask me one time how things were going since his office and the Chief's was in a totally different of the ship from the rest of us. He refused to believe everything was going well and accused me of hiding things from him.

Calling me a liar and not trusting me is what broke me. I gave up at that point and only wanted to do the bare minimum.

Up to that point, I swore to myself that I'd never become bitter, but it happened.

Response by SrA William Giraldi made Apr 19 at 2015 7:00 PM

SrA William Giraldi — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 19:00:42 -0400

Political correctness happened. I wouldn't really say that's what broke me, but it certainly played a factor in not wanting to re-enlist. Get rid of the PC environment and I may actually reconsider getting back in the game.

Response by SGT S Sharpless made Apr 22 at 2015 2:18 AM

SGT S Sharpless — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 02:18:08 -0400

For me it was being assaulted by one of my peers and the Army did nothing because I didn't have "witnesses." I struggle with the assault and everything that comes with it since it happened (not being able to sleep on my own health problems etc). The Army broke me when I didn't get justice.

Response by SGT Paul Mackay made Apr 21 at 2016 6:57 PM

SGT Paul Mackay — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 18:57:05 -0400

Dis honest co who also was a liar. all other officers I respected.

Response by SGT Paul Mackay made May 21 at 2016 2:55 PM

SGT Paul Mackay — Sat, 21 May 2016 14:55:16 -0400

trusting the command.

Response by SGT Paul Mackay made Jun 12 at 2016 10:30 PM

SGT Paul Mackay — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 22:30:05 -0400

The military didn't protect the enlisted men from corrupt officers.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 13 at 2016 7:49 AM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 07:49:54 -0400

I was given a lowered performance rating by a major. His reason because I was a LT in a Majors slot he thought he had to lower the rating.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 13 at 2016 12:36 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 12:36:06 -0400

I think everybody who gets out before the full 20 has had that experience. Mine was on my last tour to Afghanistan in 2014 when I realized that Soldiers are now controlling the military and NCOs have lost most of the tools they had to instill discipline. Long story short, I had 3 Soldiers mess up so I recommended them for Article 15's...after a long drawn out game of he said she said and an internal investigation I got wrote up for failure to obey a lawful order and received a field grade article 15. I took that as my hint to get out, and those three Soldiers got end of tour awards and moved on in their careers. I did not get demoted, simply 14/14 which was unsupervised and involved reading and writing essay on regulations, but I also did not receive any end of tour award. The Army has lost its backbone and that is why I got out when I did.