What, if anything, can I do if told that I may not be able to go home from a stateside deployment for the birth of my first child?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 23:15:47 -0400

I am currently on State Side “deployment”. My wife is currently 6 months pregnant and my Daughter is due in January. This is my first born… A month in, I am now being told that I may NOT be able to go home for the birth. What if anything can i do?!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2021 11:27 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 23:27:00 -0400

SPC Private RallyPoint Member May I ask... why are you worrying if ..." I am not being told that i may not be able to go home for the birth."...?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2021 11:44 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 23:44:27 -0400

It is supposed to read “ I am currently on State Side “deployment”. My wife is currently 6 months pregnant with my first born, my daughter is due in January … A month in, I am now being told that I may be able to go home for the birth. What if anything can i do?!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2021 5:47 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 05:47:06 -0400

I missed 2 of 3 births due to deployments/mission 1st.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Oct 22 at 2021 8:21 AM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 08:21:49 -0400

You can keep trying to go to the birth and even try using the Chaplain as a resource but there will be tons of people on here who missed their Childs birth or some other significant event due to deployment.

Response by SFC James Cameron made Oct 22 at 2021 9:02 AM

SFC James Cameron — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 09:02:46 -0400

Unit Commanders hold the approval authority for leave and passes. You can use your Commander’s Open Door Policy to discuss it, but beyond that you have to remember that your Commander is balancing mission accomplishment and troop welfare at a level you’re not seeing as an E-4. Commanders don’t callously sweep aside requests involving child birth, as it is a significant event.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Oct 22 at 2021 10:05 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 10:05:08 -0400

Yeah, pretty common. Soldiers missing births, holidays, anniversaries, etc... are so common it's basically a cliche at this point.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2021 12:34 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 12:34:04 -0400

Nothing. That's military life. Sometimes you miss the big moments. I know plenty of people who missed the births of their children. I missed births of nieces/nephews, weddings, funerals even. That's just the way it goes.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2021 12:56 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 12:56:52 -0400

If the final answer from the Command is "NO," the only thing you can do is Charlie Mike. While the birth of a child is a very significant event, one that Commanders do try to get their troops home for, it is an event that is often missed by SMs. It's not that the Commander(s) want their people to miss these events, it's just that mission details/requirements dictate not being able to send the person home.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2021 1:25 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 13:25:39 -0400

Leave is never promissed. While on active duty orders you have to request leave like everyone esle. It is up to the commander to approve or disapprove based on personnel strength and mission requirements.
If it is a voluntary deployment, you could request to end your tour early. Otherwise, you are just joing to have to miss the physical birth - maybe you could be there viva skype/FB/etc.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Oct 22 at 2021 2:43 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 14:43:21 -0400

There is nothing that can be done unless her Dr says it might be life-threatening for her birthing. Leave is the property of the Commander. If it happens, then you join the fraternity of millions of military fathers who have missed such things throughout our history

Response by SMSgt Bob Wilson made Oct 22 at 2021 8:42 PM

SMSgt Bob Wilson — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 20:42:54 -0400

Went is your separation date? If you have leave, request leave around the estimated delivery date. REMEMBER: The first child can come in the window or after.