What is a "safe space" and why do we use it to make fun of people here?

SSG Jessica Bautista — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:13:10 -0500

Consider where the term originates, who it was created for, and why. This is an actual question, so we're not doing any comedy in here.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 14 at 2016 3:16 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:16:54 -0500

I am not sure where the term originated, but, I suspect as a place where one can avoid the triggers that cause him/her problems.

However, it has become a term for a place where one can go to make sure he/she does not here what they don't like to hear.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 14 at 2016 3:25 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:25:23 -0500

No idea.......but the idea of "safe space" isn't actually safe. I honestly think that it's worse.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Nov 14 at 2016 3:44 PM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:44:17 -0500

I believe safe spaces originate from therapy/psychological counseling/whatever you want to call it. The reason people make fun of those that "use it" is because currently we have a generation usurping the term safe space as a place to silence any dissent. You are not allowed to have an opinion that differs in these "safe spaces". People's egos are becoming so fragile that they can't even handle their own ideas being challenged. So it's not that people are making fun of those in need of mental help, it's more like people are making fun of those that can't handle their opinions being challenged.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Nov 14 at 2016 3:59 PM

CPT Jack Durish — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:59:32 -0500

What makes you think that we're making fun of people who need safe spaces? I don't see anything funny about it. In fact, I think that it's a very frightening concept. Life is full of hard choices and it takes courage to face them. These adult-children who can't bear to hear dissent or opposition are poorly prepared for the harsher realities of life. Ultimately, they make very poor citizens. Have you ever been a lifeguard or simply learned the rudiments of life saving so you are able to help a friend or family member in trouble? If so, you were taught that there is nothing more dangerous than being around a person in a panic. They'll grab onto anything, which might just be you. That's how many would-be rescuers end up being victims themselves. Well, these adult-children we see crying over a disappointment like a child denied an ice cream cone are like drowning people. And because they are adults with adult rights and privileges, they have the power to take us down with them. Imagine yourself in a tough spot and the only one around is one of them. You might make the mistake of depending on them for assistance and end up in worse trouble than if you had been alone and forced to rely upon yourself. No, no one is making fun here. No one is laughing. Me? I'm terrified of them and I'm terrified for our nation because of them.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Nov 14 at 2016 4:41 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:41:11 -0500

While I can't speak for everyone, my idea of a "safe space" was anywhere I could go to get away from the things that triggered an anxiety episode. Sometimes it was my vehicle, sometimes my bedroom, sometimes a long walk in the mountains away from other people. For those with true mental health issues, a "safe space" can be quite literally a life saver.
Unfortunately, I believe a segment of our academia population have taken that to an extreme and used it as an excuse to not be subjected to thoughts and ideas that are contrary to their own. I, for one, relish different ideas as they force me to objectively look at a topic and why I believe the way I do about it. It's going to be a very boring future if we all end up looking, dressing, acting, and speaking exactly the same.

Response by PO3 Ricky Foster made Nov 14 at 2016 4:42 PM

PO3 Ricky Foster — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:42:25 -0500

I was once taught the therm of "Safe Place" as meditation technique. Primarily use for when one was in a very bad situation. These are only examples: Interrogation, rape, and torture. I was taught for it be used as a place for ur mind to go to save ur sanity from the actions happening to ur body.

Today, like many other words it has been over used and warped from it's original intention. The newer generations think it is a right and therefore demand it. "Safe Places" can only exist in ur own mind, everything else can be taken away from you, even your own home. No one can "give" you a safe space, you can only learn to create such place within yourself. I pity those who demand something they can only create themselves.

Response by SPC Phil Norton made Nov 14 at 2016 5:09 PM

SPC Phil Norton — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 17:09:07 -0500

Safe space is supposed to be an Internal mindset. Kind of like finding your happy place. The use of an actual safe place is counter productive. In my PTSD treatment I am constantly urged to push my comfort limit. These so called safe spaces at college campus. They mean well I'm sure, but hiding from your problems in the world at such a young age. Can only have negative social consequences. I have watched my daughter have friends over and they never talk. They just sit and text each other, when they are in the same room. It s crazy

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 14 at 2016 5:40 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 17:40:46 -0500

I've never heard or used the term until recently here on RP. I've heard others joke about "stress cards" for recruits but thought it was just a joke. I know that during my vacation at Parris Island in 78 the last thing one wanted to do was let the Drill Instructor(s) know they were getting to you. In maneuver warfare terminology that would be interpreted as a gap and would be expeditiously and severely exploited much to their glee. (A gap is considered a soft spot or an enemy weakness.) In mental health terms we never know what is really going on inside another's mind, so mental health is not something we want to screw around with. I don't think making fun of it is helpful and it requires maturity to realize the fact. I can recall reading about a tragic situation aboard a USMC base where this applies. One Marine in the unit had been the brunt of jokes and harassment for awhile and it was known by all in his Platoon, including his Platoon Commander. One night he calmly drove to his Lieutenant's house and knocked on the door. The Officer's wife answered the door and the Lt heard the screams. Running to the door he discovered the Marine had stabbed his wife viciously with a Ka-Bar fighting knife and he also killed the Lt. I'm not saying this is the norm but that it can happen. I have my personal feelings about some of our younger citizens but will keep them private in the interest of harmony. I would guess that a "safe space" is a retreat or shelter to escape external stressors but am not qualified to say more than that. If a person feels the need to get away for a timeout then I guess they know better than anyone else whether the need is valid. Perception is reality to the beholder. Certainly that anyone needs a safe space while others around them do not should be seriously considered when determining fitness to serve in the military, assuming all are being submitted to the same level of stress. This, because there are no safe spaces in combat and besides endangering themselves they jeopardize the mission and those around them.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 14 at 2016 7:28 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 19:28:48 -0500

I don't know what the actual term means (but have been educated through this thread). I believe (also IAW DoD regs) that everyone has the opportunity to come to work in the military and be treated with dignity and respect. To me (if we do that correctly), we make "safe spaces".

If a "safe space" implies someplace where you won't be challenged (physically or intellectually) I don't think that's useful for mature adults...especially in this profession.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 14 at 2016 8:57 PM

SSG Warren Swan — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 20:57:39 -0500

I don't have a "safe space". I try to make one in my head when the dreams come back, or when I see something that I know will set me off. I try to get away from the situation, but when the mind keeps playing your thoughts on instant replay and you're just there for the ride, the safest place can be the most dangerous place. I thought my safe space was on my bike or in my car speeding. I'm trying to outrun a dream, a hurt, or a pain that won't let go. Faster. That should do the trick. No. It. Doesn't. It's like looking in the passenger seat and at 150 you still see what you're running from. On the bike, when I hit 150, I knew one mistake and that's it. I'd be dead before I hit the ground. Faster. Death will be instant, and you won't care. Well VA state police did, and while I got off scott free, I still need the feeling of speed. I need to feel the power under my foot, and I don't care about anything else. I know many like me say get a woman. When you live in an area where most of the population is retired from some branch or another, kinda hard not to show the real you, when she's going through it too. I ask myself why put my burden on her? And once I close that feeling down, I'm cold, distant, and arrogant. I'm protecting me from me, and you. If I follow what the fellas say, I have to let you in, and every time I've done it, that shaft goes deep with no Vaseline. Staff, and anyone else...can you tell me what a "safe place" is? I apologize for running off with the gums, but I haven't found a safe place yet. Going to the range is about it. You're back into what you were, and you listen as if it was an Army led range (fucked up I know, but the Army would've have it any other way). I feel so alive behind the gun, and euphoric when I look at the target on a good day and think "I've still got it". I'm about to finally grow up, and move away from here. I'm hoping a new start in a new town where no one knows me, or who I was, will accept me as me, and I'll finally find my safe place and not be afraid of feelings and people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-S-PaMWhwI

Montgomery Gentry - Speed

Response by 1stSgt Eugene Harless made Nov 14 at 2016 11:16 PM

1stSgt Eugene Harless — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:16:25 -0500

IMHO the idea of a " safe space" is that it should be private and or personal. The idea of establishing "safe spaces" on campuses is idiotic. For one, they can't decide what the "safe space" should be protecting "victims" from. Pretty much any safety concern should be something enforced campus wide.
The idea of having a "space" set aside for only minorities, republicans, handicapped, LBGTs, males, females or people who don't like hearing other peoples music is ludicrious.

Response by Col Rebecca Lorraine made Nov 15 at 2016 6:49 AM

Col Rebecca Lorraine — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 06:49:35 -0500

Reading through, I'm not sure you are actually getting an answer to the question. But the president elect stated that people with PTSD are really just "weak", so I think that speaks volumes on what many believe. Many don't feel safe in environments that are openly threatening to them. Say the KKK marching in NC? The threats (veiled in rhetoric) that marginalized some. There is no real connection between mental health and the concept of a safe space. I am in college with mostly young men and women. They are kids right now learning from the adults, teachers, media, and the old tough men and women of an era long past. Now they had it tough. Having a sense of humor is healthy. Being afraid of things outside to the point of reclusivity is a mental health issue. I was recently commenting and teasing a young black woman about her hair and pointed green fingernails. She is in the Army reserves. I was curious how she got through her drill weekends with the hair and nails. I liked her and really was amazed that she could attend drill that way. But I was teasing her. Well, she got offended and told the WO (retired) she is working for that I shouldn't say those thing to other Black women. I was dumbfounded. If one can't take a little teasing and an honest question then we are grooming a generation of overly sensitive adults. Bullying is hateful, teasing is not bullying and what the military may do to toughen recruits. If you standout you aren't conforming to military standards. I have heard from generation of old people the same fear of the new generation. I began my care as a nursing assistant in a nursing home. Grandmothers, grandfathers, parents and now me are full of incredible experience but we are unable to see the way we were as adolescents, young adults and that we were likely a dismal disappointment to our elders. Being overly tough is a way to shield ourselves from our new found irrelevancy. We all go through phases of growth and development that fails to grasp cultural differences. Mental health is a serious issue to never be taken lightly. The 22 suicides a day of military and veterans is a sign that choosing a safe space is sometimes a final act. The majority of those suicides are in the 50 and over range. They feel lost, weak and can't ask for help because of the comments and tone of so many. Not just in this place but in many other forums. It doesn't terrify me this new generation. I am always amazed at how we adapt and evolve to grow into amazing adults. The next generation will be more open, kinder, more tolerant, better educated, more diverse and also have new problems we never fathomed or had to deal with. I live in the south and have seen and heard old white guys still using the N.... word. I know women in the military are held to a different standard sometimes. Assertive women are bitches. Women are still seen as nurturers and they must challenge their peers everyday to think differently. It gets old. I have found in my practice that men are just as sensitive, they just aren't free to express it. Those most outspoken are probably the most insecure. We all need to be a little more open to empathy. Understanding where an individual is coming from and reflect on why they are trying to tear another down. Is it to build themselves up? Is it just a fear that they might be seen as weak? Confidence in yourself can be healthy. Stay grounded in your belief but use empathy to understand the rhetoric from many in these forums. The nuance of human contact, tone, tenor of speech and body language is missing. We think we can know someone by their written words and that is a fallacy. We miss the performance. The human side. Thank you for reading this and thinking about it. "You are stronger than you think". ( although in your case, I would say that isn't a concern)

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 15 at 2016 5:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 17:13:13 -0500

SSG Jessica Bautista I never heard of safe space until today, but after doing some researching on what safe space is used for today, the following meme clearly states my opinion about it.

Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2016 6:30 AM

LTJG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 06:30:17 -0500

I lived in a very small town with a high school graduating class of only 135. We had someone die in a car crash that was very loved and liked by many people. The school then had counselors available in the library for friends of this individual or people that felt jarred or affected by her death. I believe the appropriate use of a safe space is helping individuals cope with a situation that they are not mature enough to handle or that they're not prepared for because it was traumatic. Something that falls outside what the average individual encounters in their day-to-day. What is happening now, with young adults in college, is completely unnecessary and represents a weakening in the mind, ability to cope, and maturity of this next generation of our youth. They are spoiled with a fantasy world view.
All of these new spaces do a disservice to the people that really need them due to severe trauma or loss.

Response by SFC Karl Dreller made Dec 28 at 2016 11:17 AM

SFC Karl Dreller — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 11:17:52 -0500

To me the "Safe Space" is a farce developed by some grad student to get their Masters or greater. In the military we tend to be realists and the concept of Safe Space is like having a force field to protect the troops from IEDs, rocket attacks, bullets, fragments, you name it. Technology is not there presently so we rely on tactics. The kids are self inflating there importance and insecurity to gain attention by sitting down in the middle of the floor and kicking and screaming.

If safe spaces were real we would provide them to the citizens of South Chicago, where over the "Holiday" weekend 40 people were shot. It is similar to the Black Lives Matter movement. If they truly believed this, they would be creating walls in front of the innocent residents where lives are lost or threatened daily. Instead they created an environment where the actual people who try to create safe spaces may have eased up their efforts because it is safer (personally and professionally) to do so. I believe they called it "sandbagging" in Vietnam, where the patrol goes out of sight and sets in rather than risk getting killed for something they do not believe in at their level.

I am retired from SF and as a police officer. I give this as a qualifier of my opinions which are slanted away from neutral.

Response by MSgt Roland Brown made Dec 29 at 2016 9:29 AM

MSgt Roland Brown — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 09:29:07 -0500

Capt Durish, I could agree with you more. How are we to assist These Adult-Children? We are not all trainers, Teachers, Counselors, however we must try, if we can, to become someone who can help these people grow into a world that will not look upon them kindly, So that they can provide us with as much support and assistance as we can provide ourselves. remember at some time, some where, we become our brothers keeper. This in itself takes courage...

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 30 at 2016 2:18 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 14:18:34 -0500

I think that those who need a safe space should ask themselves if they are really strong and resilient enough to handle being in the military and going to war?

Are there any "safe spaces" in Afghanistan right now? I didn't think so...

War is hell and the military must be ready for it. If a coddled child/adult cannot handle a simple
Difference of opinion based on gender/sexual orientation/race (you tagged this post feminism, LGBT, and Racism) without needing a safe space, then I don't think they have the mental toughness to go to war.

Response by SPC Byron Skinner made Dec 30 at 2016 5:57 PM

SPC Byron Skinner — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 17:57:38 -0500

Sp4 Byron Skinner. I don't see any humor in this activity but I would think that any person who requires such a facility is in the wrong place if he or she is in the US Armed Forces. Serving in the military is about, team work, rules, sacrifice for the common good, doing acts that you might wish you were not ordered to do etc. I'm not questioning the validity of this syndrome but people who suffer from it really don't belong in the Military.

Response by SCPO Lonny Randolph made Jan 19 at 2017 3:09 PM

SCPO Lonny Randolph — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 15:09:08 -0500

I find it interesting that you have not defined in your post what specifically you mean by "safe space". If you are referring to the currently common usage - i.e. the sort of thing currently being discussed in reference to immature children found on college campuses and such, I find myself repulsed by the whole concept. By the time a person has reached adulthood they should have learned how to cope with disappointment, statements they don't agree with and tasks they do not wish to accomplish. It's called growing up. The best solution to this little problem in my view is immersion therapy, force the little snowflakes to grow up by subjecting them to viewpoints and scenarios they don't like. The notion that the rest of the world has to stop carrying out their own affairs or modify their speech out of deference to one's little problem is laughable and actually rather insulting. The primary assumption behind the idea of safe spaces really if you think about it is that these children are so much more special and precious than the rest of us that we must modify our behavior to satisfy them. If you are talking about GENUINE medically necessary isolation for some reason I am having some difficulty understanding why we even need to discuss this at all.

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Jan 24 at 2017 5:36 PM

SFC Jim Ruether — Tue, 24 Jan 2017 17:36:26 -0500

We weren't making fun of people who need and go to their safe place unless they were sniveling whiny millennials who couldn't cope with the upsetting victory of President Trump in the election. That was the only instance when we did poke fun at a few miscreants that wouldn't have been rioting or crying if they had an actual job. These little cry babies have no rights to fuss and cry themselves into a corner and frankly I find it embarrassing that they did it in the first place. Talk about people who were given participation trophy's their whole life and never had to deal with reality, these babies are poster children for that. I believe if you have a reason....a real reason, then yes by all means if it makes you feel safer then go to your safe place and rest, recharge your batteries, calm down and then get back to work. If that makes me a meany then so be it! I have been called so many worse things over the years and some were deserved. I am a product of my raising and we were told to stand up, be a man and get your ass back to work. I have striven my whole life to be the best I can be and this isn't some old ARMY advertising campaign that I am talking about. It's what my dad told me when I started my first job! Don't listen to complainers and whiners they will drag you down. Be the best man you can be and be a better man tomorrow than you were today! He never gave me the option to fail. He told me there is no "Can't" in the Ruether vocabulary. He didn't know about Webster's Dictionary as he only had an eighth grade education but he knew how to be a man and showed it everyday of his life.

Response by CPO William A. Bullard Jr. made Jan 31 at 2017 3:46 PM

CPO William A. Bullard Jr. — Tue, 31 Jan 2017 15:46:44 -0500

I'll be bluntly and brutally honest here; we do NOT need 'Safe Spaces' anymore than the twerpies going to Great Lakes for basic [that's a laugh in today's P/C shit show called the Navy]need 'trainee time out blue cards'. "Blue cards" like 'SAFE SPACES' are B/S put there by senior members of command looking ton protect their career advancement gates and their pension post retirement consultancies who will nopt step up and make themselves accountable. Anyone who wants a"SafeSpace" is laughable and deserves to be ridiculed. When you have just had a shot of water in the steam lines it is the wrong time to be whining about a "Safe Space" and if i'm still an EOOW Underway I will make sure you never step foot in a fireroom ever again and you spend the rest of your hitch mess cranking in the scullery for Sailors who don't want to be in 'SafeSpace'. They are your betters and this is the place you can serve them best while not risking the safety of the crew of the ship. If wanting a "SAFE SPACE" is more important than being a good Marine, "Doggie" or JoBlow "white hat one each' get the "F" out and go pick out a college they have plenty of them, unfortunately they don't teach a "sh*******g" thing but that's okay you'll be Safe. You want a "SAFE SPACE" on a Ship or on-board a Mar.Corps installation you're a weasel; be sure to wear all the gee dunk medals they gave you for making quarters.

Response by SSgt Holden M. made Jun 27 at 2017 3:09 PM

SSgt Holden M. — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 15:09:36 -0400

For me the term safe space originates for people that have PTSD that are experiencing a flashback or an extreme reaction because of their PTSD and need a place to temporarily isolate themselves so they are able to re-gain control of themselves. But I feel as though safe place has been adulterated and abused by those that don't want to hear people's ideas that they don't agree with. An example of the real need for a safe place would be somebody that hears the props of a black hawk helicopter and pretty much physically sees the deployed location again and their heart immediately starts racing and their adrenaline starts pumping and they feel like they are physically back there. Then they would need a safe place to do some deep breathing exercises and grounding techniques.

An example of the adulteration/abuse of the term safe place would be somebody that heard an apposing view on a specific topic and then told the person with the apposing view that they are triggering them and that they need a safe space.