What is the best thing you have heard a 1SG say, humorous or motivational?

2015-12-09T23:37:09-05:00

1SGs are very influential early in your career what are some things that have stuck with you?
1. 1SG Sadler "There are no first line supervisors in my Battery, only leaders and future leaders."

2. 1SG Hardy
1SG- "Soldier, I'm going to send you to OCS. Do you know what that is?"
SM- "Officer Candidate School 1SG."
1SG- " No! On the City Streets."

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2015 11:44 PM

2015-12-09T23:44:34-05:00

1SG - Yells "Chief" from across the parking lot while I'm talking to an E5 and walks up to us in a quick manner and says, "I think your mustache is not IAW 670-1".
Me - 1SG, according to AR 600-20 the only proper way to address a Chief Warrant Officer is with Sir or Mr. and where's my salute?
E5 - Is slowly walking away backward....

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2015 11:50 PM

2015-12-09T23:50:48-05:00

Don't step on that dip I'm gonna put it back in when we run

Response by SN Greg Wright made Dec 9 at 2015 11:55 PM

2015-12-09T23:55:18-05:00

SSG Private RallyPoint Member (I'm assuming you'll accept entrants from Navy MCPO's?)

MCPO: "Dismissed, Wright"

Because I got outta there with my life AND ass intact!

Response by SSG John Jensen made Dec 10 at 2015 1:58 AM

2015-12-10T01:58:09-05:00

during whichever big inspection prep, HHC 1sg called for after lunch formation- the only shows were hq, commo and medics (but not the plt sgt)
Top comes out screaming "I'm pissed!" I called for a formation and nobody showed!" we're all quaking in our boots thinking we're going to die now. Top Screams "I want everyone of you to....Go Home, don't go to you workplace first I want your Plt Sgts to ask me where you are!" so we enjoyed a nice extra after noon.

Some time later (different inspection I think) Friday Motorpool formation, in attendance was: commo, medical, hq, nobody from bn staff, or pathfinders, or mess. we go on with standard friday motorpool stuff. Friday afternoon announcement! Alpha Roster formation Saturday morning, we in medics are whining 'cause we went to that motorhole formation.
So, Sat. morning there are trucks behind hq, after alpha roster call-out top orders everyone on the trucks to go to motorhole formation NO pOVs!, but first Medics , Commo, GO HOME

Response by SPC Christopher Perrien made Dec 10 at 2015 2:24 AM

2015-12-10T02:24:23-05:00

Top, 1st Sgt. Roy Elliot, called our unit to formation at about 10-11 in the morning(5/77 Ar Bn Dco , 1988 West Germany . This was the day the Army gave a soldier who defected to the other side with a (CEOI and a KY-13) and returned a year later got a BCD and nothing else at his court martial. Top was a Vietnam Vet.

"Well I guess y'all have all heard of Private Wade E. Roberts by now and what the Army has done. I have to say this is the only day in my time in the army that I have ever felt disgraced to wear this uniform. It is shameful day when the Army has thrown out so many good soldiers for failing drug tests, and today they did nothing to this Wade E. Roberts. Dismissed!"

And then he walked off, and we all picked our jaws off the pavement as slowly the realization we were off for the rest of day set in.
(my memory of his words does not convey or does justice to his "speaking style or effect")

http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-26/news/mn-30317_1_soviet-union

GI Who Fled to Soviet Union With Girlfriend Guilty of Being AWOL

An Army private who fled last year to the Soviet Union with his pregnant West German girlfriend was convicted Thursday of being absent without leave, but he avoided conviction on the more serious...

Response by SGT David D. made Dec 10 at 2015 2:34 AM

2015-12-10T02:34:49-05:00

During winter Reforger (84?), Top walks up to me stops in front of me. I'm thinking shit what did I do this time? next thing I know he growls at me, I mean an actual growl, low in throat like an angry dog about attack. So, I growled right back at him......he just laughed and walked off.

Turns out that not long before my encounter, my Roomie and best friend, Sgt. Collins had reacted to this by biting the brim of his steel pot and shaking it like a dog with a bone.

The same 1SG, we were doing PT as usual and you know some time the NCO in charge will have doing the four count push-ups, but the old delay count thing that the Drill Sgt. would do. Well my buddy Matt Reese was a little hung over and just wanted to do the PT and be done with it, so he was bitching a little bit, like we all do sometimes under our breath or just in our heads, ..........the only problem was, EVERYONE heard him.

Sooo, Spc. Reese was in made to lead the PT for every PT formation for the next month or so, and matt became "Das Mund" (the mouth)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 5:03 AM

2015-12-10T05:03:51-05:00

1SG: Private!! Where is your motivation!? WHERE IS IT!?! I swear if I don't see some motivation from you in 5 seconds, your whole platoon is taking 4 laps!! And then we do PT my way till I'm tired!!
Private: "HOOAH SERGEANT!!"
*collective gasp*
(Tops is a very robust man with a darker complexion) 1SG begins to turn a shade of plum that I never thought possible, with either black or white men.
Me? I hid around the corner with 4 other privates as the whole company ran laps for about 15 min. DS strolls up to us while we were working away, acting like nothing happened, and DS says "which do you prefer? Shoveling shit, like you're doing, or playing around calling 1SG a Sergeant? I know what I'd choose" and strolls back off, whistling.
Army basic training in a nutshell.

Response by SGT William Howell made Dec 10 at 2015 7:29 AM

2015-12-10T07:29:04-05:00

While reclassing at Ft Hunter Liggett we had a 1SG with us from some other unit. We were standing in line at the chow hall. There are 3 people standing in front of us. Out of the corner of the 1SG's eye he sees one of them who (has his back to him) has his hands in his pocket. He turns and snaps , "Get your hands out of you pockets!"

Have you ever known that things were going to go bad, like "The condom just broke" bad! The two guys (both Staff Sergeants) in the front of "Mr. hands in my pockets" get this look on their face like you had just took a dump on their shoes.

And Sweet Jesus, around turns a Major General. He says, "Yes, First Sergeant." So Top says, without missing a beat, "Thank you, sir." Then the 5 minutes of awkward silence in line. We get our chow and sit down. He leans in and says, "Well that went better than I thought it was going to." So I ask him, "You want to get out of here Top?" He smiles and says, "Howell, this is not my first fuck up. If he was actually pissed, you would be in charge right now. Eat your chow!"

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Dec 10 at 2015 9:49 AM

2015-12-10T09:49:38-05:00

GS-13 from State Department: 1SG I am a GS-13 which is the equivalent to a LTC.
1SG Wettstein: Well I am a real live 1SG and you can get the fuck out of my office.

He left and my commander was laughing his ass off. Latter the BCT XO shows up and asked me if I said what I said. I replied, Roger that Sir. He left with a smirk on his face and shaking his head.

Edit: This was in Ramadi during the surge.

Response by PO2 Steven Erickson made Dec 10 at 2015 10:12 AM

2015-12-10T10:12:29-05:00

Submarine Sonar Chief (E-7): "Petty Officer Erickson, just because you're smart enough to be a Nuke don't mean you're smarter than me... except maybe for science and math and technological crap. Now I'm telling you that there ain't no electrical problem with our gear!"

Me: "Chief, did you just say... Nah... Just forget it."

Response by Capt Walter Miller made Dec 10 at 2015 10:45 AM

2015-12-10T10:45:48-05:00

First Sergeant Stuber said that when he died, he wanted to be cremated so his wife could douche out with him.

Walt

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 12:42 PM

2015-12-10T12:42:03-05:00

I was station in Korea, the 1SG use to Smoke any one that touch him.
On December he use to give SUNK for PT ones a week but before that he use to stand in the only door of the barracks and start counting... at the end any one he sees will be doing extra PT. so, I decided to take the keys for my storage with me every morning and when he stand on the door and yell SUNK, Me and my 2 clerks wall to the storage and lock it. After a few times, 1SG start asking me for the keys every morning.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 4:22 PM

2015-12-10T16:22:54-05:00

Why don't you update your Facebook status to "policing up brass"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 5:52 PM

2015-12-10T17:52:38-05:00

I'm putting together a detail to clean the latrines (at JRTC the place you go right after you leave the box) c'mon it will be fun, we'll make a game of it.

Response by SP5 Daniel Wakeland made Dec 10 at 2015 7:05 PM

2015-12-10T19:05:04-05:00

1979, driving the fuel truck for HHC 2nd BRG, 8th ID somewhere in Germany on an FX. I had been chasing the TOC and S-2, and S-4 all night chasing their moves. Day break, The 1SG pulls up as my motor sargent pulls up to top off my coffee. He throws a case of C-rats in my cab and says "I think you'll need these" I new it was going to be a long week.

Response by SSG James Bigbie made Dec 11 at 2015 3:29 AM

2015-12-11T03:29:29-05:00

When I was in Ft. Knox, about 1986, another E-5 and I were tasked with escorting a chapter case for his last couple of days. This kid was really giving a good show. He would cluck like a chicken crossing the road, mumble, and a bunch of other stupid stuff. We went to Bn HQ and the adjutant walked out and told him to get a haircut, the kid growled at the adjutant! We got ordered to go see our 1SG, 1SG Boix, also a Scout. We told the 1SG what happened, he chewed the kid for a little, threatened him with the stockade, and then ordered him out of the office. As soon as the kid left, the 1SG died laughing and almost fell out of his chair. After we all stopped, he told us "get him out of here as quickly and quietly as possible". Gotta love a 1SG with a sense of humor!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2015 5:52 PM

2015-12-11T17:52:47-05:00

My very non-politically correct 1SG at the closing of an end of AT company formation: Platoon Sergeants, take charge of your platoons and get them drunk. A few people got a case of BHD, but most of us were trying to hold back belly laughs.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2015 9:35 PM

2015-12-11T21:35:50-05:00

About midnight one night a knock on my door and the 1st Sgt said get dressed and report to the orderly room. Then we went to base ops where I was given a weapon AND ammo. That was unheard of in those days. Turned out to be the Cuban Missile Crisis. As I assumed my post the 1st Sgt said if anything goes wrong we have you back.

Pretty darned motivated that night.

Response by SPC Brandon Walker made Dec 12 at 2015 9:47 AM

2015-12-12T09:47:53-05:00

False Motivation is still motivation saying this during the army ten miler lmao

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Dec 13 at 2015 11:01 PM

2015-12-13T23:01:05-05:00

In reference to thieves in the barracks in SVC BTRY 1-15 FA at Camp Casey, Korea in 2000 - 2001 an irate 1SG said during a meeting with the NCOs at 0200 hours: ....and sometimes mother^&kers fall down the stairs in the dark.

Response by 1SG William Svoboda made Dec 14 at 2015 9:13 AM

2015-12-14T09:13:41-05:00

I had an O, (BN XO) come marching into my office to demand why I would't allow one of his young LT' participate in a tape and weigh in while wearing spandex. After he stopped to take a breath I asked him to look at the sign outside my door the read, 1SG Svoboda, Delta and when he did he said so whats that got to do with this sh--? I continued by explaining "everything inside this AO belongs to me and everything outside it belongs to you!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2015 2:28 PM

2015-12-16T14:28:09-05:00

Don't stick your fingers in your battle buddies belly buttons and if you do don't let me hear about it

Response by SGT Robert Zuniga made Dec 17 at 2015 10:56 AM

2015-12-17T10:56:05-05:00

You raggedy assed private! Fall out of formation and go practice falling down!

Response by SP5 Daniel Wakeland made Dec 17 at 2015 7:00 PM

2015-12-17T19:00:19-05:00

"Why do we do PT in combat boots? Because when Ivan is breathing down our neak and we have to fall back he's not going to give you time to change into your cute f****** running shoes !!!" Said at high volume, nose to nose.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2015 1:30 PM

2015-12-22T13:30:37-05:00

2 stories. 1: First night at first duty station (I didn't do AIT) I FELL ASLEEP doing 'night shift' at my companie's Battalion HQ...First sgt walks in, 'you're supposed to yell at ease.' I jumped til I almost hit the ceiling, yelled 'at ease' at the top of my lungs, and he calmly says 'as you were' lemme tell you that was the last time I did that. 2nd time. Actually this was daily. SOMEONE would walk up late to formation... I mean DAILY...he would stop IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SPEECH look at the transgressor and say, pvt? Oh never mind, you and me will meet in my office after formation, and yes, it WILL get ugly, reeealll ugly.

Response by SFC Andrew Ormiston made Dec 22 at 2015 2:46 PM

2015-12-22T14:46:10-05:00

Pvt: 1st Sergeant, do I have enough time to use the latrine before you call formation?
Top: whatya gotta do, #1 or #2?
Pvt: #2
Top: well you better snap it off square. You aint got time to taper it.

Response by Sgt Tom Beard made Dec 22 at 2015 3:31 PM

2015-12-22T15:31:57-05:00

Med 1st shirt during Friday safety brief. "It's payday and I know a few of you are going to have a few cold ones. When you go home the old lady's going to rag on you. Now before you take s whack at her, call me up we'll go to the gym, lace em up and you can take out your frustration out on me. If however, I get a call saying you took a swing at your old lady. I'll take you out back of the cop shop and work out my frustration...

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2015 6:12 AM

2015-12-23T06:12:42-05:00

During Organization Day about a month ago, he paused an award ceremony and said "Everybody smile, I'm posting this on Instagram"

Response by SGT Rob Colbert made Dec 23 at 2015 9:46 AM

2015-12-23T09:46:03-05:00

During OEF my squad leader (E5) was receiving a coin from a full bird Col. When he found out that his soldiers were not going to be recognized, he turned the "hand shake" back over and told the officer that his coin didn't mean shit to him and gave it back. Our CSM couldn't do anything but laugh out loud because he had never seen anyone do this before. Needless to say my respect for him grew even more than it was previously. NCO's keep it real!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2015 5:24 PM

2015-12-23T17:24:57-05:00

I ran into my old Green Beret Company 1SG as he was running around HQ trying to out process. Great guy and I love him to death because he was the heartbeat of our company. He was brutally honest and gave it to us straight, no chaser. Here are a few things I remember:

Me: Welcome back Top! How was R&R in Vegas?
1SG: I had a f&@:$ blast! I blew over $20,000 and all I have is this tatoo to show for it! And it itches like crazy!"

Me: Hey Top! Nice SUV!
1SG: Yeah, get a load of this sh!t! It has Bluetooth, heated seats, and the seats fold down in the back, tinted windows, this is my shaggin' wagon!"

1SG: Ok ladies and gentlemen, don't do any dumb sh!t this weekend, use a condom, ask permission, wash your hands, and don't call me this weekend because it's my birthday and I'm going to be drunk. Call the Commander instead."

Medic: What are you going to do when you retire?
1SG: I don't know, rub some lotion on my belly.

Response by SGT Michael Williams made Dec 23 at 2015 5:26 PM

2015-12-23T17:26:38-05:00

1SG Hardy was awesome bubba. I preferred "If we ain't doing anything, we ain't doin it here. Send'em home chiefs!"

Response by SGT Richard H. made Dec 24 at 2015 10:31 AM

2015-12-24T10:31:40-05:00

When I was in the Marine Corps (first enlistment) one day when I wasn't particularly enjoying morning PT, I Had this conversation with the Company Gunny:
Me: Gunny, isn't it true that Marines never run from a fight?
Gunny: (with a quizzical look) Yes, Hanner, That's true.
Me: Then why do we practice running every day?
Gunny: Because, Stupid, when the enemy runs we need to be able to chase them down and re-engage them. Bends and thrusts, Begin. Faster. Faster.

(bends and thrusts = squat thrusts for those not familiar w/ Marine terms)

Response by SGT Kevin Meehan made Dec 24 at 2015 10:33 AM

2015-12-24T10:33:45-05:00

Had a 1SG in Germany, 10th Engineers, in the 70's, who I will never forget-1SG Lynch. Didn't matter the subject he was speaking/yelling about, he would always end with; "If the shoe fits, draw the string." Obviously it's something I'll not forget.

Response by SP5 Joel O'Brien made Dec 25 at 2015 3:46 PM

2015-12-25T15:46:51-05:00

It wasn't funny at the time, but one 1SG had me summoned to his presence to announce: "O"BRIEN! I yam HIGHLY pissed at yew!"

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 25 at 2015 9:53 PM

2015-12-25T21:53:47-05:00

My tanks were shooting a target for a video with Bradleys. The Bradley 1SG said I see lot of big holes but few small holes. You guys can't hit crap.

Response by A1C Scott Blais made Dec 25 at 2015 10:16 PM

2015-12-25T22:16:45-05:00

After an hour drive to bail us out our 1st shirt tells us "You two idiots are clearly the ring leader of this flight, so I'll make ya a deal. Ill bail you dumb fucks out and I will leave you alone if you keep the rest of the flight in line and we don't ever have to do this again". He kept his word and so did we!

Response by PO1 John Miller made Dec 26 at 2015 5:24 AM

2015-12-26T05:24:08-05:00

Not a 1SG (or its Navy counterpart) but my LPO at the time, a First Class Petty Officer when I was an E3 Seaman. I was checking out of my command in order to transfer to A school (MOS training in Army speak). I was "hanging out" at my soon to be old work center as I had done everything I could for that day as far as checking out went, and was seeing if they needed me to do anything for them. PO1 Cunningham came up to me and yelled "Get your ass back to work Miller!!!" PO1 Higgans said "He's already checked out!" Cunningham then said "I don't care, get back to work" but was very clearly pointing towards my barracks.

Response by CSM Brian Sann made Dec 26 at 2015 11:23 AM

2015-12-26T11:23:01-05:00

In 1982 had a 1SG Williams and we called him Chilly Willie because when he came through the barracks a cold breeze followed. During first formation he always said that we "Looked like a Mongolian Cluster f*#k". I never really knew what that was.

He also used the say "Some of you think you're nickel slick and quarter sharp but you can't slide on barbed wire".

Response by SPC Dennis Escobar made Dec 26 at 2015 2:13 PM

2015-12-26T14:13:01-05:00

1SG Walker: There is no other MOS, if you are a 91 series (68 now) you are a medic and that's that.

Response by SPC Eddie "Nemo" Aiumu made Dec 27 at 2015 2:05 AM

2015-12-27T02:05:23-05:00

1SG MAYES: "HEY CHERRY"
1SG WOODLIFF: "IF IT HAS AN ADAMS APPLE ITS A BOY"
1SG PERRY: "CALL ME STEVE HARVEY AGAIN"
1SG JOHNSON: "TOP?!? WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO SPIN FOR YOU?"
1SG MADISON: "IMMA 1SG AND YES, I AINT SCARED OF NO SEARGANTS MAJORS JUST MY WIFE"

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 2 at 2016 10:53 AM

2016-01-02T10:53:37-05:00

"If someone touches you in your kibbles and bits... Throat punch the motherf***er and call the MPs

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 4 at 2016 1:33 PM

2016-01-04T13:33:59-05:00

My husband was former Army (11B) and he had his 1SG sound exactly like Major Payne; "This is what I wunt YEW to DEW". I would so be smoke from laughing so hard!

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Jan 5 at 2016 11:31 AM

2016-01-05T11:31:52-05:00

"If the ARMY wanted you to have a wife, the ARMY would have issued you wife" then the phone rings and the private that answer the phone says "Top its your wife".

Response by SGT Hector Rojas, AIGA, SHA made Jan 11 at 2016 11:52 PM

2016-01-11T23:52:54-05:00

1SG Stubbs in Fort Drum.

Essential personnel only after a release due to weather. It was maybe 5-6 of us in our hangar and he sees me walking on my way to the maintenance office to finish some licenses and he goes:

"SGT Rojas, if I don't see you leave, I don't know you left, so I cant be doggone mad at you, get me?"

"I got you Top".

5 minutes later I was on my way home.

Scariest 1SG I've been around but the man would move mountains for his soldiers!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 15 at 2016 12:47 PM

2016-01-15T12:47:21-05:00

Looking back it is funny. At the time it was very frustrating. 1SG Dunkin would follow almost every comment, statement, question, whatever with the phrase "check or hold". ie, "I want you to go out and do PMCS. Check or Hold?", "We have IWQ next drill. Check or hold?" He also had a tendency to go off on wild ass tangents. He was a master at turning a 5 minute topic into a 45 minute speech. He'd start on one thing, get sidetracked onto something else and then 30 minutes later pick up the original topic like he'd never missed a beat. And by that time everyone had forgotten WTF he had originally been talking about. Check or Hold? LOL

Response by SGT Andrew Goetsch made Jan 19 at 2016 1:42 PM

2016-01-19T13:42:31-05:00

Scrounge for it.

Response by PFC Andrew Moody made Jan 24 at 2016 4:16 AM

2016-01-24T04:16:53-05:00

1SG Gavett- have a good weekend. don't go home and beat your dog don't beat your kids don't beat your wife and if your neighbor ask if you could beat it up dont stay home and beat your meet.

Response by CDR Michael Goldschmidt made Jan 24 at 2016 4:49 AM

2016-01-24T04:49:24-05:00

Being a Navy Officer, I've had very little experience with First Sergeants. This, however, is from a long-time friend who was being pulled from his Korean War USMC Rifle Company to attend the Naval Academy Prep School (NAPS) in Newport, RI.

1SG: "If you come back here as an officer and get me killed, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Response by 1SG Harold Piet made May 31 at 2016 7:13 AM

2016-05-31T07:13:17-04:00

1SG Hill 27th Engineers Fort Bragg. 1976 used to say Just remember Sh^t rolls down hill and not Benny Hill, when warning us to stay out of trouble. He also didn't worry about "keep of the grass signs" like all the other 1SG, He always just said. Just let me catch you on my grass. (it would cost you a Saturday maintaining the grass)

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 3:31 PM

2016-05-31T15:31:29-04:00

1SG: Men, we are in a time of war. This is what we are bred for. This country has called on us to do what no one else will. This is what we live for, and it is what you will die for?
PV2: If we are going to die for it, 1SG, what will YOU die for?
1SG: Me? Oh, I'm not going to die.
SPC: But if it happens, 1SG, what would it be for?
1SG: For you, bud. For you.

Response by MAJ Rj M made May 28 at 2019 2:09 PM

2019-05-28T14:09:56-04:00

I was a brand new LT and was having a good FTX until about mid-way when a training accident occurred (2 tanks hit a hidden ditch). Bn CSM took me away after we medevaced the crew and sait me in his jeep and said "shit is going to happen, they're going to be ok [and they were] and at least it didnt' happen in the shit..and its hard ya know..you did your best"

Response by SFC Luis Serrano made Jul 13 at 2019 9:42 AM

2019-07-13T09:42:44-04:00

"Stay alert; stay alive"