What is the best thing you have heard a 1SG say, humorous or motivational?

While reclassing at Ft Hunter Liggett we had a 1SG with us from some other unit. We were standing in line at the chow hall. There are 3 people standing in front of us. Out of the corner of the 1SG's eye he sees one of them who (has his back to him) has his hands in his pocket. He turns and snaps , "Get your hands out of you pockets!"

Have you ever known that things were going to go bad, like "The condom just broke" bad! The two guys (both Staff Sergeants) in the front of "Mr. hands in my pockets" get this look on their face like you had just took a dump on their shoes.

And Sweet Jesus, around turns a Major General. He says, "Yes, First Sergeant." So Top says, without missing a beat, "Thank you, sir." Then the 5 minutes of awkward silence in line. We get our chow and sit down. He leans in and says, "Well that went better than I thought it was going to." So I ask him, "You want to get out of here Top?" He smiles and says, "Howell, this is not my first fuck up. If he was actually pissed, you would be in charge right now. Eat your chow!"

GS-13 from State Department: 1SG I am a GS-13 which is the equivalent to a LTC.
1SG Wettstein: Well I am a real live 1SG and you can get the fuck out of my office.

He left and my commander was laughing his ass off. Latter the BCT XO shows up and asked me if I said what I said. I replied, Roger that Sir. He left with a smirk on his face and shaking his head.

Edit: This was in Ramadi during the surge.

1SG - Yells "Chief" from across the parking lot while I'm talking to an E5 and walks up to us in a quick manner and says, "I think your mustache is not IAW 670-1".
Me - 1SG, according to AR 600-20 the only proper way to address a Chief Warrant Officer is with Sir or Mr. and where's my salute?
E5 - Is slowly walking away backward....