What is the funniest or weirdest thing you've ever seen a Soldier/Military Person do?

At basic, we were in formation and one of the guys in my platoon was caught talking. DS called him in front of the formation and ordered him to go upstairs to our bay to strip, wax, and buff the floors.

When one of our other DS's went to check on him after a few minutes we heard a stream of expletives coming from the windows and then a roundbrown hat pop out and yelled out that dude was barenaked, waxing the floors lol

No kidding...there I was...commanding a battalion in Iraq. Two of my female Soldiers got hold of some intoxicating beverages...a violation of General Order No. 1 in that theater...and started roaming from CHU to CHU, making a spectacle of themselves. They were turned in to their 1SG and eventually each faced a Field Grade Art. 15.

The Company Commander and 1SG were so embarrassed that their Soldiers were caught with alcohol, that they executed a health and welfare inspection in their company living area the next. After the inspection, the company commander came to report the results of the inspection to me. When I asked if any more alcohol was found, the commander said none was found and was proud to report that he believed that the issue of alcohol possession had been nipped in the bud for now. When I asked if any other General Order No. 1 contraband (specifically, porn) had been located, his face became a little pained, and he began hemming and hawing. When I pressed him for what was found, he started to beat around the bush with some story that they didn't find anything that could be confiscated. I then directed him to tell me what exactly was found, he lowered his head a little and said, "a self pleasure device, sir." Now...that term conjures up in my own mind a particular image, but I was in a bit of a sadistic mood that day and asked the commander, "what KIND of self pleasure device?" He began saying, "It...it...it..." while moving his hands like he was holding a large basketball. I cut him off and said, "Just say it!" He again lowered his head a little and said, "It was a butt, sir. Polyurethane...complete with orifices. I think it's an impression of Jenna Jameson's." When I asked why he didn't confiscate it he replied, "The Air Force Security Police who were helping us with the inspection said that it wasn't porn and couldn't be confiscated." I figured that either the Air Force had a different idea of what constituted "porn", or one of those SP's had the same butt back at his hooch.

I have walked in on a Soldier shaving another Soldiers butt and legs because he thought it would make him more aerodynamic.... Like, completely bare ass standing at the sink while another dude is shaving him lol. I about died at the sight, and the reasoning haha