What is the funniest thing your kids have said?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:54:17 -0500

My son was watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates...As my wife walked down stairs he screamed "YO HO LETS GO" ...I had to explain to my wife that this was something the Pirates say...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 2:03 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:03:32 -0500

5 kids, too much to consider at one time.....will add as my sleep deprived mind adjusts...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 2:06 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:06:23 -0500

My 4 year old daughter has a pink-camo t-shirt she likes to wear as PJs. Of course she loves it when I holler, "HOAH!" so she quietly sneaks downstairs and slowly comes into view, knowing that as soon as I see the shirt I will be very loud. Her smile and laughter when I do it is priceless. (Of course, when she says, "HOAH!" it is even better!)

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Mar 2 at 2015 2:13 PM

SGT Jim Z. — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:13:02 -0500

Well a little over 4 years ago my son and I were in a rear-end collision distracted driver rammed us at approximately 35MPh we were stopped. Well I looked back and asked my then 6 year old are you okay and he said yes but my homework is all wet. The impact spilled his drink on the worksheet he was doing.

Response by CPL Brendan Hayes made Mar 2 at 2015 2:18 PM

CPL Brendan Hayes — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:18:10 -0500

About a year ago I was in the kitchen making coffee, and I hear my 6 year old son playing Lego Star Wars on his DS in the next room. Clear as a bell, I hear the unmistakable sound of Jawas being destroyed one after the other.

Me: Hey buddy...
Him: Yeah dad.
Me: Don't beat up on the Jawas.
Him (very matter of factly): They beat up on the droids.
Me: Good point.
Him: Truth.

Sounds of more Jawas being detroyed.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 2:25 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:25:17 -0500

Happens all the time. The first is a funny one, the second hit me hard:
1) Opened a Mambo candy (as you know it has 24 pieces in 4 different flavors).....
Me: You hit the motherload!!!
Echo: What is a motherload???
Me: It means A LOT of something.
Echo: Well Daddy is bigger than you so I must have hit the daddyload!!!!
Me: Ummmm I'm not sure it works like that but okay. Lol
2) December 5, 2014, while walking from the parking lot to the CYP.....
Echo: Mommy, would you die for me?
Me: Absolutely. But I would also live for you. I promise to do whatever I have to in order to survive so that I will always be here to take care of you.
Echo: *tackles me with big hug* I love you too Mommy.
If you have kids, has your child ever asked you this? I was definitely not prepared for that conversation...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 4:10 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:10:10 -0500

My 9year old was reading just now in the kitchen. He is reading The cat and the hat to my 3 year old... For what ever reason he stopped after reading aloud " I would not could not with a goat" I turned to my wife and whispered" me neither...

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 4:40 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:40:07 -0500

I have two funny stories involving my daughter...both military.

In my daughter's life, I've been gone for almost half of it. As such, at times we conflict on how we handle things. My wife is a bit dramatic, and as such my daughter would scream and bawl if she brushed into things. When I came back from Mississippi, the incessant drama grated my nerves. Finally one day I'd had enough and said "ENOUGH!! Rub some dirt in it and walk it off!!! You are *FINNNE*!!!!"

A few days later, she ran out of the house and immediately biffed it in the driveway. Waiting for the inevitable bawling to come, I just watched as she stood up, walked to the middle of the driveway and took a handful of an anthill, then rubbed it on her jeans. My wife screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" As I tried to hide, my daughter blue falconed me: "Daddy said to rub dirt in it and walk it off." Meanwhile, I also began to laugh as I remembered my childhood psychology professor talking about the fact that kids go through a LITERAL phase of their life. When if you say "you're going to feel a stick", they think you're going to poke them with a twig.
----------
My second story was when my wife and I found out that we were expecting a second. My daughter was talking to my mother in law when she asked "Do you want a brother or sister?" My daughter said, "SISTER!" Grandma came back with, "What if it's a boy?" My wife and I couldn't help but laugh at her response: "I guess I'll just have to suck it up and drive on!!"

Yes....that's my girl!!
v/r,
CPT Butler

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 2 at 2015 7:11 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 19:11:24 -0500

Shortly after getting our our first kitten, my son would say things like "carry on" and "as you were" to it. My kid is strange.

Response by SSG Kenneth Lanning made Apr 30 at 2015 5:32 PM

SSG Kenneth Lanning — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 17:32:45 -0400

not sure of any one thing said, but it was funny as hell listening to my 2 y/o daughter sing along with Sepultura's "Roots"...google it if you haven't heard it.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 7:50 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 19:50:20 -0400

When I was stationed in Colorado, my platoon was on shift work. Our PT was done at the end of shift when we were on days, and because of the timing I had to pick up my son from daycare and bring him to PT. I was the Platoon Sergeant at the time, and my son usually ended up playing catch with the a Soldier who was pregnant, so it all worked out. Anyway, I had to talk to the 1SG before we started PT one night, so I asked the platoon to keep an eye on the Little Man while I went inside. I came back out ten minutes later to see the platoon formed up and my three year-old son out front, giving the proper commands for an extended-rectangular formation.

The best part was the platoon followed his commands. :)

Response by MSG Morgan Fiszel, CPCM, CFCM made Apr 30 at 2015 8:08 PM

MSG Morgan Fiszel, CPCM, CFCM — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:08:56 -0400

"I always win in my nightmares"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 8:09 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:09:19 -0400

I just spit out my juice from laughing at what your kiddo said.....I can picture the look on your wife's face......kids got love em!!

Response by CPL Roland Newton made Jul 24 at 2015 12:02 AM

CPL Roland Newton — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 00:02:30 -0400

When my son was 5 he hit my older brother and told him to quit picking on me, because I was old and you don't pick on old people

Response by SPC Ken Sawyer made Apr 29 at 2019 9:47 AM

SPC Ken Sawyer — Mon, 29 Apr 2019 09:47:37 -0400

My middle son proclaimed from the back seat that he knew I was Santa Clause because he saw me hiding presents that later had from Santa on them. So i asked my other two youngest said I don’t know. My oldest says I’m not sure but I am smart enough to shut up and see a good thing for what it is

Response by Maj John Bell made Jun 7 at 2019 5:04 PM

Maj John Bell — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 17:04:49 -0400

My Dad took my 5 year old son fishing. After the 4th time of cutting away about 20 ft. of snarled monafilament line, my Dad said to my son. "Dam it Sam, this is a fool proof reel." Sam answered back "Damn it Grandpa, you gave it to a non-fool proof boy."

I was stationed on Embassy duty duty in Nairobi, Kenya. It was an accompanied tour. My daughter was 4 when we left, and 7 when we came back to the states. So she had very few memories of America. When we got off the plane at Reagan international, in a very loud voice she said to the Black Sky Cap "Look at all the WHITE people, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE." We are white.

Response by CPT Robert Boshears made Jul 21 at 2019 12:24 PM

CPT Robert Boshears — Sun, 21 Jul 2019 12:24:02 -0400

Long after retirement, my 12 year old daughter (we were in the PX) when a Full Bull walked in and everyone moved over for him. My daughter asked why... I briefly told her he was an 0-6. Now I am standing there in leather house shoes, shorts and a tee shirt from the flea market in Honolulu... but wore my Vietnam hat. My daughter looked at the Colonel and told him “my daddy is an O-7.” He asked me to go ahead of him... I did....

Response by SGT Steven Dillman made Aug 23 at 2019 11:40 PM

SGT Steven Dillman — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:40:43 -0400

My son and I were watching battleship and when the uss Missouri started shooting my son stood up in the movie theater and yelled "were Americans let's get them" pretty exciting moment.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 27 at 2019 7:48 AM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 07:48:31 -0400

During dinner, my then, three year old son said to me after setting down his sippy cup. He looked at me as if he were a grown man and had seen some shit. Like we were peers.

He looked me into the windows of my soul and said, “So dad, how come you never wanted to be anything when you grew up?”

I replied, “I used to want to be the lead guitar player in the next LED Zeppelin, or MetallicA. I used to want to be the first baseman for the Chicago White Sox.”

He replied, “what happened?”

“I met your mother, and a couple years later you were born.”

But I thought in my head, “Paleontologist??!? Doctor?!? President of the United States??? What are the odds that I’m tasing something amazing like that?!? But I didn’t say any of those things. I figured I’d like the world crush HIS hopes and dreams. Not his old man.

Response by CMSgt Frank Dailey made Feb 14 at 2022 8:57 AM

CMSgt Frank Dailey — Mon, 14 Feb 2022 08:57:09 -0500

My nephew Randy was four and the son of a Marine Drill instructor. Randy had been hanging around Paris Island as his dad was preparing for his next class. When a young recruit came to the door and asked for permission to complete his final duty of the day before chow. Randy sauntered up to him and asked "are you an "ox'gen" stealer?" The recruit said "ah no Sir!" Randy dressed in the smallest USMC green Kids PT Shorts and shirt, looked him up and asked, "Did you Check you self before you come in?" (something his father said when Randy would run to tell his dad something). Again he replied to the affirmative. Randy looked him up and down and said, "D'missed". The four DI's in the room totally were rolling laughing as Randy walked up to his dad and asked how'd i do Gunny?