What is the hardest part about the Army emotionally?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 21:15:25 -0400

For me I would say leaving you wife and kids behind before deployment, and your battle buddies leaving whether it’s PCS/ETS to do better things, or death.

Response by SFC Martin Rickert made Mar 9 at 2020 9:22 PM

SFC Martin Rickert — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 21:22:36 -0400

In my opinion leaving family knowing that I may make the ultimate sacrifice for my nation. We have faith that keeps us together. We actually managed to survive the Army, I retired in 2013 and just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary. I will say I don’t have many close friends because of the Army, the ones I do have are in other places in their career and we do meet up occasionally.

Response by SFC Aubrey Campbell made Mar 9 at 2020 9:44 PM

SFC Aubrey Campbell — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 21:44:22 -0400

I concur with other warriors concerning leaving family behind for months and years. However, I did not have time to think about emotions. Twenty years are tough in any profession. But after twenty threes years of retirement, I still cannot wish the Army off of me. “Old Soldiers never die...we just fade away.” Too many made the ultimate sacrifice.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2020 11:20 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 23:20:51 -0400

For me it's making those bonds with your mates and their families then the army sending you on the other side of the world. May not see them for years, but the love for each other is still there. It's harder when there's kids involved, their kids look up to you as an uncle

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 2:39 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 02:39:08 -0400

Knowing that no matter how much you love your job and your brothers at some point we all hang our uniforms up one last time

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 2:45 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 02:45:40 -0400

Leaving my children at home to go to war wasn't nearly as hard as coming home to a child who didn't know me.
I am still dealing with fallout from that over a decade later.

Response by SPC Erich Guenther made Mar 10 at 2020 5:14 AM

SPC Erich Guenther — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 05:14:45 -0400

By far for me it was mass death. Watching the Army replace 280+ recently deceased Soldiers in very short period of time. After watching that you realize the Army can replace probably any number of people at any time and keep going. Of all the items in uniform I witnesses that actually took me by surprise the most. I thought wow that was potentially a half Bn of men replaced without any logistical difficulty I could see, I still wonder what the upper limit is.

Response by 1SG Dennis Hicks made Mar 10 at 2020 7:41 AM

1SG Dennis Hicks — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 07:41:29 -0400

SGT Thompson I would agree with everything you said and only add that these days because of Social media we are seeing our peers and subordinates later in life. For me its seeing others get older, wider, grayer, sick, crippled and dying. We see each other through the eyes of 17-25 invincible men humping large ruck carrying heavy weapons systems with literally no regard to weight. We see each other doing death marches and shrugging it off as it were nothing, we see a tight group of friends drinking the night away and then running vomit runs in the morning singing cadence as we burp, fart and sweat out death while highly motivated only to go out drink again that night.
We make derogatory comments about each other when we post pictures of ourselves in uniforms long gone with equipment thats no longer in service, we remember being supermen doing crazy things without a thought of how it will effect us if we get older. Then one day we look in the mirror and see the true image of ourselves through our cloudy eyes and aches and pains. We read on SM about our peers that have passed and refuse to believe that we are not invincible. We will always see that young gaggle troublemakers sitting around not worried about tomorrow but living for that moment until those memories fade away no longer to be easily found like our car keys or the names of our Brothers and the adventures we endured.
For those that are young and suffer all this so early its just as sad if no more so as they have not had the opportunities to turn into old farts that know everything and always did more crazy stuff and got away with it because we didn't have smart phones or SM to post our crimes :)

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 8:19 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 08:19:45 -0400

I think it really truly varies from person to person as well as the season of life you are in. For a long time it was losing friends to PCS/ETS and those that made the ultimate sacrifice. Having a family it's always going to be leaving them behind and knowing that when I get home from wherever I have been, I will be different and so will they. We grow apart and that's harder than anyone could ever realize or comprehend until you go through it. As 1SG Healy said, the effects of the constant departures and abrupt returns leaves lasting impressions on our families, especially our children. When they start counting missed birthdays and holidays over the ones you have actually been home for you know the Army is taking its toll on your family.
I will also add that moment when you realize the Army doesn't seem to care about you or your family and will simply keep moving forward regardless of whether you go forward with it. The constant reminder is in the replacing of our brothers and sisters without even the slightest acknowledgement to the devastating loss. Or in the ever so overused "this move is good for your career" and "this is what the Army needs from you right now." We are told those things time and again with the veiled promise of a better assignment or opportunity "eventually" and then one day you realize that eventually may never actually happen. Dealing with PCS after PCS after PCS because regulation states we are supposed to move every 2-3 years. Meanwhile, your spouse and kids lose every friend they made over the last 2-3 years and knows they must start over somewhere new. But it's what is good for our career or what the Army needs of us right now. The sacrifices are great and often times leave scars we can't see but most assuredly feel when the silence settles in.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 9:20 AM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 09:20:47 -0400

Leaving is easy - just put your Big Boy pants on and march. It's coming home after 2 years unaccompanied that's tough. Not the homecoming, that's great. When you realize how much your Family has changed you know that the time is lost forever. Burying friends is tough too.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Mar 10 at 2020 10:23 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 10:23:33 -0400

Knowing that retards and rockstars will recieve promotions at roughly the same rate, and you'll have to deal with far more of one than the other over the course of a career=o)

Response by SPC David S. made Mar 10 at 2020 10:54 AM

SPC David S. — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 10:54:55 -0400

Luckily for myself I was never married while in - however losing a close friend was a very low low. Ironically however it was a blessing as I used it as motivation - something Chris would have appreciated. I went back to school and earned my MBA and as a result simply doing and getting more out of life in general.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 11:40 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 11:40:55 -0400

Leaving everything/everyone you know behind for a deployment and then coming back to everyone/everything has changed and you feel as though had literally passed you by and now you have to play catch up.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Mar 10 at 2020 12:01 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 12:01:31 -0400

Realizing you're not in the Air Force.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2020 2:05 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 14:05:34 -0400

When your battle buddies decide to end their own life has been the most difficult thing for me.

Response by SGT Robert Pryor made Mar 10 at 2020 4:58 PM

SGT Robert Pryor — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 16:58:09 -0400

Leaving.

Response by Maj John Bell made May 1 at 2022 9:03 PM

Maj John Bell — Sun, 01 May 2022 21:03:32 -0400

Realizing you should have chosen the Marines.

Sorry couldn't help myself.

Response by LTC David Brown made May 1 at 2022 9:31 PM

LTC David Brown — Sun, 01 May 2022 21:31:15 -0400

Leaving family and home behind. The family closes together to fill the void your leaving has left. When you return there is s struggle to fit back in.