What is the proper military etiquette at a funeral for a veteran (brother)?

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 17:55:10 -0500

Long story short. My brother just passed away and he was a veteran. However he hated the military and also our family has decided not to hold a military funeral, but has asked me to wear my blues. What would be my proper military etiquette and customs at this funeral while upholding my families wishes?

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Dec 3 at 2018 6:26 PM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 18:26:04 -0500

The decision is up to you.
Personally like or dislike your brother I would ask what your brother would want.
If he was okay with you being in the service, then I would wear it.
If you think he did not like you in the service, I wouldn't wear it out of respect for my brother.

Response by PO1 Rick Serviss made Dec 3 at 2018 6:52 PM

PO1 Rick Serviss — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 18:52:46 -0500

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If he didn't like the military I wonder why he would ask you to wear it. That's a personal decision. I would do what your brother asked as a sign of respect for him.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 3 at 2018 6:53 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 18:53:18 -0500

Sorry to hear about your loss first and foremost. Since your family will not hold a military funeral, I would be in a suit and tie instead.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Dec 3 at 2018 9:12 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 21:12:44 -0500

What !

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Dec 3 at 2018 9:22 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 21:22:08 -0500

I am sorry for the loss of your brother.

This seems like a personal call for you.

If there is no Military nor Flag present, you would render Honors to?

If you have personal knowledge that your brotherb HATED the Military, why would you wear a uniform?

Pay your respects, no uniform nor hand salute is required.

Memories of family interactions survive longer if they are quickly forgotten.

If they wanna be that way, do what you think would please your brother.

w/regrets, CSM Hayden

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 3 at 2018 10:58 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 22:58:23 -0500

If my brother didn’t like the military I would respect that and wear a suit and tie. If his family asked me to be in my Blues while knowing my brother wouldn’t have wanted it I would respectfully decline.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Dec 4 at 2018 4:02 PM

CSM Richard StCyr — Tue, 04 Dec 2018 16:02:42 -0500

Honor your families wishes, wear your blues. Condolences for the loss of your brother.