What is the stupidest thing you ever said to a senior enlisted person or Officer?

2014-05-16T22:02:05-04:00

Once and only once I was nominated for 2nd Class Petty Officer of the Quarter for my Division. As I sat in the Board with all Division Chiefs in the Squadron I was asked," What do you think of the Squadrons Drug and Alcohol Policy?" My response was "If you are an E-6 or below its Zero Tolerance and I think its great, But if you are an E-7 or above then there is way to much tolerance and a lot of bad examples!" Lets just say that the shoe fit at least 74 % of the Chiefs on that board and I needless to say did not make 2nd class petty officer of that quarter or any other quarter while I was in that Squadron. LOL

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 21 at 2014 11:59 AM

2014-05-21T11:59:32-04:00

I know that I've said something stupid to a senior enlisted or officer, but I've been repressing those memories, LOL!

Response by SSG Jeffrey Spencer made May 21 at 2014 8:41 PM

2014-05-21T20:41:55-04:00

Said to, or about?

Response by SGT Andrew Chapman made May 22 at 2014 4:39 PM

2014-05-22T16:39:55-04:00

Well first one I can think of, Let's see I was E4P having to pull KP, so not happy. Col asked what my job was on the MKT I said KP sir, he said lets call it Dining Facility Orderly. To which not realizing I responded you can call it what the bleep ever you want to sir. I remember my platoon sgt turning green and they left the MKT. Col laughed thank goodness he saw the humor in it.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 22 at 2014 11:18 PM

2014-05-22T23:18:10-04:00

Perhaps the absolute most boneheaded thing I've ever said (despite being correct) was telling my Division CSM that he was not authorized a larger TMP vehicle because "according to AR 58-1, chapter 2-4 paragraph A, vehicles will not be provided when the justification is based solely on reasons of rank, position, prestige or personnel convenience". This may not have been what pushed him over the edge, but having went on to say "and further more, I will not use my grade or position to obtain pleasure profit or personal safety." That was about where he kinda lost his composure.

Response by SGT Mark Sullivan made May 28 at 2014 1:19 PM

2014-05-28T13:19:52-04:00

Squad leader was putting out the notes from the Platoon Sergeants meeting, at the end, asked if anyone had anything for him. My mouth over-rode my brain, as I was thinking about Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and I blurted out "Scorching Case of Herpes"

Response by SPC James Mcneil made Nov 6 at 2014 1:57 PM

2014-11-06T13:57:29-05:00

When I got pinned PFC, the platoon leader was the first to give me my "blood wings" by pretty much slamming my rank into my collar. I looked at him with a grin and said probably the stupidest thing I could say. "Is that all you got, Sir?"

It wasn't. Ouch.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 17 at 2015 4:36 PM

2015-01-17T16:36:35-05:00

I have never said anything stupid ever, especially to a senior NCO or officer!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Response by CW5 Jim Steddum made Jan 17 at 2015 8:08 PM

2015-01-17T20:08:44-05:00

In my first year in the Army, my CSM asked why I did something. I replied with somethings started like, " I thought...." Wrong answer... his reply was something like, "PFC, You don't get paid to think..."

A year later, I was again asked by the CSM why I didn't think about what I was doing. I replied with, "CSM, I don't get paid to think."

Wrong answer.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 3:47 PM

2015-01-21T15:47:27-05:00

I have not in any way, shape, form, or fashion p*ssed off a Senior Enlisted or an Officer............. today... wait, that is not true............... OK, I haven't this afternoon. What time do I go home? :)

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 27 at 2015 10:02 PM

2015-08-27T22:02:00-04:00

I was an active duty PFC and told a 2LT to kiss my ass....and yes, I did punctuate it with 'Sir', on the end. As I recall correctly, I said "Kiss my entire black ass, Sir!"

Response by SN Greg Wright made Dec 10 at 2015 12:04 AM

2015-12-10T00:04:11-05:00

PO1 G. Leslie /Stiltner Does biting your CO during the Wog ceremony count?

Response by SP5 Joel O'Brien made Dec 10 at 2015 11:00 AM

2015-12-10T11:00:24-05:00

While walking in uniform with another Army-type, we noticed two officers approaching us. Knowing we had to render a salute, something gave me the idea to make a bet that I could address them with the greeting, "Howdy Sirs!"
When we got within range, we snapped into salute mode and I spoke the greeting in such a way that they didn't quite understand what-the-hell I said. They kept walking and so did we.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 11:13 AM

2015-12-13T11:13:31-05:00

As a cadet, at LDAC to a one star engineer west point grad who had be talking about west point and how great it was. Walked up to him after the briefing and said, " I just want to apologize sir" him thinking I had fallen asleep during his briefing, "why son did you fall asleep?" My response, "no sir I wanted to apologize that you went to West Point and you think that's an accomplishment..." he laughed...I died once I got back to school

Response by SGT Bryan McTaggart made Dec 13 at 2015 11:25 AM

2015-12-13T11:25:05-05:00

I wish I could take credit for this, I really do. During an NTC rotation we had been delayed in returning to the Sand Box because the command team had missed the convoy redeployment time. Oddly enough, LTC and CSM let the NCOs have it with both barrels when they returned, blaming us for the issue. At 3am the next morning, when we had to get everything together for the convoy, the CSM gathered up all of the NCOs for another blistering round of pass-the-blame. I was barely awake and paying attention right up until the point CSM yelled out, "So do you know what we are going to do next, Sergeants?!" and a voice right behind me yelled out, "More bullshit, Sergeant Major?"

You could have heard a pin drop. That, and the sound of steam escaping from SGM's ears.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 11:33 AM

2015-12-13T11:33:53-05:00

When I was in the hospital at BAF after brain surgery. A full bird came to present my purple heart. I was pretty doped up and I decided I didn't it want it. He said who he was and that he was there to present me with the purple heart. I told him "I don't give a fuck who you are. I don't want your god damn purple heart. Get the fuck out of here." He took it seemingly well. And gave me the damn thing anyway. He was the commander of 3rd group.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 11:58 AM

2015-12-13T11:58:54-05:00

As a brand new PVTwith all of 4 months TIS my CSM came to my barracks room around 14:00 looking for my roommate , I had been released, so naturally I answered the door in basketball shorts and brown tee-shirt, with a beer in my hand. Never having met my CSM I simply asked "can I help you?" Then after a not too bad of a reaming he asked what the hell I was doing home drinking a beer, to which I replied " my supervisor didn't have anything for me to do so he sent me home" ....supervisor was obviously not happy with me

Response by Sgt Bruce Taylor made Dec 13 at 2015 12:49 PM

2015-12-13T12:49:34-05:00

My 155mm battery was training at 29 stumps and some one star was wandering around visiting troops. When he got to my section, for some reason he asked, "So what do you think of the chow here?" From up in the 5 ton, a Lcpl answered, "Aw c'mon sir. You know better than to ask a stupid fuckin question like that." The general just frowned and walked away.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 1:41 PM

2015-12-13T13:41:38-05:00

I asked once "Sgt, can I ask you a question. He said No."

Response by SPC Lorne Smith made Dec 13 at 2015 6:02 PM

2015-12-13T18:02:34-05:00

As the senior SPC on the floor in charge of cleanup, had the 1SG as me what mold was doing in the (out of site and difficult to reach) window sill. After frowning a moment and confirming his observation, I shrugged and said with a smirk, "apparently growing, 1SG." None to pleased was he, but I got off with a glower. I think because he otherwise respected me and no one but my Squad leader heard the comment.

Response by Sgt William Biggs made Dec 13 at 2015 6:17 PM

2015-12-13T18:17:45-05:00

I got wasted at CAXX with the battalion aid statio. I walked inside and saw some boot teading next to the deep fridge. I asked him how he was and he just looked at me. Then, I asked if he messed up and was on fridge watch. I laughed, he didnt. It was awkward and then I left while mouthing something about the angry boot corpsman. Turns out he was the battalion surgeon. Thankfully he was nice and always laughed when he saw me afterwards

Response by SSG Samuel Sohm made Dec 13 at 2015 7:13 PM

2015-12-13T19:13:27-05:00

So I remember a time I was listening to a board they were having downrange (they used my building to do it). A guy walks in, does his thing, then sits down. The CSM asks him what his short/long term goals are. SPC (Whoever) says "Sergeant Major, my short term goal is to get promoted, my long term goal is to live long enough to see my ex-wife die"....

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 7:16 PM

2015-12-13T19:16:12-05:00

"Why"! I paid dearly!!!!

Response by SFC James Massey made Dec 13 at 2015 8:06 PM

2015-12-13T20:06:48-05:00

We had deployed from Hawaii 65th ENG BN. to Ft. Lewis WA. for a war fighter exercise. At the start we were running 12 hour days in front of the map boards and radios and all was well. Then out of nowhere the LTC said he wanted 18 hour days because he wanted a 3 hour hand off between shifts. Damn that led to long days. After the exercise was over we were on a 72 hour cooling down time before redeploying back to the island. We learned that I had made the E-6 list and my officers threw me a party. right in the middle of the whole damn show walked the LTC. (BN CMR) I told him exactly what I thought of his brilliant idea of the 12 to 18 hour day. Not only did my award that was put in Army Accommodation medal get downgraded to a BN coin, but I did not get promoted either. ** Note to self ** Keep your mouth shut and don't drink with officers.

Response by SPC Randall Eichelberger made Dec 14 at 2015 1:34 AM

2015-12-14T01:34:35-05:00

We had a promotion ceremony for a group of us E-3's to E-4 and after we got our chests punched the BN CSM and BC both said some remarks because they happened know who most of us were and then they asked us each to say something, so most of us are like oh I'd like to thank my team leader SGT so and so for being the best team leader ever, but one dummy said 'never go ass to mouth'

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2015 10:44 AM

2015-12-21T10:44:01-05:00

Langley AFB, we were TDY building a road around the golf course, through a tidal swamp. Apparently this was either a very important project or it was a very slow week because this COL kept coming out to "inspect our progress". Of course, every time he showed up, shit stopped until he left and we were getting behind. On one of the visits he was complaining because we were behind and I, being the smart-ass E5 I was, commented, "well, sir. If you would stop coming out here so often, we might be able to get some work done." Yeah, that didn't turn out too well.

Response by LTJG Don Biscoe made May 25 at 2016 3:11 PM

2016-05-25T15:11:53-04:00

NO!

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Jun 2 at 2016 12:20 PM

2016-06-02T12:20:37-04:00

Interesting topic, even if it goes back a-ways.

Far and away, the stupidest thing I said to a person of serious rank was something I got away with!

I was about to ETS from Active Duty, and with 3 weeks left I was made to go to the field for 2 of them. I had already turned in my TA-50, and had to buy my own Woobie just to have something to sleep under. As I had no issued equipment, and frequently had to leave the field for various appointments, I didn't leave the TOC area. I was alone mostly. All I did for those 2 weeks was to "guard" the blank ammo in the back of an LMTV which was essentially my home for those 2 weeks.

The only exception to this was one, and ONLY one night, where I babysat the radio in the TOC. When I was eventually relieved, I had been up about 30ish hours and crawled my way into my rack in the back of the LMTV. With me that day was another Joe who was quietly reading on the other cot, knowing full well my level of exhaustion and displeasure for being out there needlessly in the first place.

After a while, I was awakened by the sounds of conversation. I was a little irritated that the guy with me would be so rude as to not take his gab-fest elsewhere knowing I was trying to sleep while the morning Chihuahuan desert sun began to cook the land. After a few minutes I had had enough.

“Shut the fuck up I’m trying to sleep!”
or
“Shut the hell up I’m trying to sleep!” I said.

I don’t remember exactly which operative word I used, but either way, it was clear that, regardless of what I DID say, I had no Fucks remaining to give when I said it.

“Sorry,” replied one of the mystery voices, and at that they continued to speak, but now in hushed whispers.

It gnawed at me. Who was it that I just told to pipe down? By the voices, there were 2 other men outside the LMTV chatting with my truck buddy. But who? Hoping to recognize a familiar voice I strained to listen; precisely what I tried NOT to do a couple minutes before. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I had to know the identity of the Chatty Cathies.

Ever so cautiously, I pulled my Woobie aside to peer out the gap I created, and as my one eye adjusted to the light, I saw a sight that paralyzed me. Whereas before I had no Fucks to give, I suddenly found an LMTV’s worth of ‘em!

Standing outside the back of my truck was BG Dragon (And what a fricking sweet name for a General!), and his Full Bird sidekick! He was in charge of the evaluation cycle we were participating in, and here he was talking with the SPC next to me like old friends. For all I knew there may have been even more in his party, but I couldn’t say for certain nor was I inclined to find out.

Even more cautiously than when I pulled the Woobie aside, I ducked back behind it hopes no one would make eye contact thus, obviously, killing me instantly. Or so it felt. If I pretended to be asleep—or dead—I figured I be okay.

It worked.

After a couple more minutes, the brass moved on and I breathed a sigh of relief. When I was sure they had left the area I popped my head out, and was met with a wide-eyed look of astonishment from my truck mate. Why I didn’t get scuffed right into the desert floor that day, I’ll never know!

Response by SCPO Jason McLaughlin made Sep 23 at 2016 6:18 AM

2016-09-23T06:18:53-04:00

While pre-commissioning a destroyer, I had been sent TAD to the Training Department as the Operations Department TPO. The LCPO had one of the more "interesting" leadership styles that I have ever experienced. Anyway, one of the requirements of the job was to maintain a 5-inch, 3-ring binder that was full of all kinds of information (about 400 - 500 pages worth). Every Friday, at 1400, the CPO would inspect one of the Departmental binders, and if there was something that wasn't correct he would pitch a fit, and chuck the binder across the space into the bulkhead causing the rings to open and the pages to go everywhere. This was affectionately known as "exploding the binder". The offending TPO was then required to reassemble the binder, correct the perceived discrepancy, and present the binder for re-inspection before being released on liberty (usually 1700-1800).

After a couple of weeks of thoroughly enjoying this CPO's leadership and guidance, and watching shipmate's getting their binders exploded (none ever made muster), one Friday he asked me to present my Departmental binder. While the entire contingent of TPO's were watching he proceeded to inspect my binder. At about 1/2 way through, he found some "huge" discrepancy, told me colorfully what he thought of my efforts, and reared back for the throw!

I proceeded to snatch the binder out of his hand and said, "you're not exploding this binder!" He told me to hand over the binder to which I responded, "you are not getting this binder, and if you want to discuss it further, we can dismiss everybody else and "talk" about it!". He stormed out of the space, and I was left to wonder the entire weekend what was going to happen on Monday. Funny thing was that on Monday he acted like nothing happened. Binder explosions also stopped.

Response by PO2 Kayla Modschiedler made Nov 9 at 2016 9:56 PM

2016-11-09T21:56:10-05:00

I called my Chief a bitch, and yes she was a total bitch plus an alcoholic with boundary issues.

Response by SSG David Eure made Jan 25 at 2017 1:17 PM

2017-01-25T13:17:03-05:00

The most bone headed thing I've said in the Army is "I'll do it"

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2017 5:32 PM

2017-01-25T17:32:03-05:00

I remember I was on the ops floor...had to be nine or so years ago now, and some Airmen were installing some TVs up on the wall as part of our new "24/7 Situational Awareness Display." Well, I was sitting there working, and something about whatever I was working on was chapping my ass pretty bad, and I kept hearing one of the guys behind me dropping a screwdriver. After like the fifth time, I simply said, "STOP dropping sh*t!" without turning around. And I hear this deep baritone, very much older than an Airman voice say, "YOU wanna try putting this up!?" I turn around, there's one of the Comms Master Sergeants. And thank the Lord for my coworker, a Navy PO3, who immediately reaches down and picks up a pencil from the floor and tells the Master Sergeant, "He was talking to me, I dropped my pencil," to which the Master Sergeant apologized and went back to working.
I owed him after that.

Response by TSgt Eddie Mixon made Jan 25 at 2017 10:34 PM

2017-01-25T22:34:39-05:00

We were doing a mass loadout at RAF Lakenheath. My crew was on about our third plane, which just happened to be the final plane to be done. I had a couple of E8's and 9's and assorted officers watching. Tow or three of them called me over to the edge of the secured area to tell me this plane could make the difference between an Excellent and an Outstanding and I needed to hurry. After about the third interruption I told the whole group, "If you people will leave my crew alone for a few minutes we will give you your outstanding, but I can't do it over here on the sidelines telling you whether we will make it or not." We made the load in tome so there were no flashbacks. I was advised by a CMSgt I should tone it down some. I told him when you catch my crew puped up to finish a load you take your chances on what kind of answer you get.

Response by SGT Aric Lier made Nov 5 at 2017 7:56 PM

2017-11-05T19:56:40-05:00

as an E-4 I made a joking comment that offended an E-6..... he dropped me and i was still laughing at the brilliant wit I had come up with.... Him " what are you laughing at you think its funny?"
me "no Sgt I was laughing at the fact the more you make me push the stronger I am getting" I was there until the unit got dismissed

Response by PV2 Duane Schlender made Nov 5 at 2017 9:05 PM

2017-11-05T21:05:18-05:00

In AIT my D.I. ordered me to stand in a puddle of sweat from a soldier he over worked and nearly killed (which I got sent to the medics while on route to said D.I.). The D.I. told me "your next". I looked at the huge ass black D.I. who could have snapped me like a twig and said "the hell I am drill sergeant. If your aim is to train me, do it, otherwise the UCMJ forbids this action and I refuse under the UCMJ". He turned red, glared, and said "are you refusing to train?" I then replied "if thats what it takes to get around you.. Yes".

He put me on suicide watch to screw with me, and I wouldnt break. Then, one day, I outsmarted him and went to a higher rank noncom and explained the whole thing.

I have never seen a black man so red in all my life since or before that day.

The downside is that, the incident with that D.I. is the real reason im no longer in uniform. He sent an email to europe to my unit (1/77 AR BN) while I was in-flight telling them I was a bad soldier. I was told about it in schweinfurt by my nco.
Because of that email, I was never given a chance to succeed and forced out of the service.
I was really in a tank accident. I was really injured. But my unit Didnt get me help. They put me on extra (remedial) PT until I failed and chapter 13 discharged me for PT failure.

Would I stand up to other soldiers again? Absolutely.

Response by SSG Marshall Paul made Nov 5 at 2017 10:34 PM

2017-11-05T22:34:28-05:00

One of my supervisors, both on the civilian PD where we both served and on a reserve Army SF team, said after one of my disciplinary sessions with the police brass, "Marshall, it may have been true and it may have needed to be said, but you did not have to be the one to say it."

Response by CPL Anthony Slaughter made Nov 7 at 2017 7:01 PM

2017-11-07T19:01:56-05:00

My company commander was the easter bunny, full costume and makeup, at a big FRG party, and the next day I switched his picture in the battalion chain of command with the one I took of him at the party. So he saw it, came right to me, and said that he would bet damn near anything that I did it.
So I replied "You did it to yourself, Sir."

Response by LCDR Robert S. made Aug 5 at 2018 5:58 PM

2018-08-05T17:58:23-04:00

In Navy ROTC, upper classmen and unit staff will frequently ask new midshipmen "knowledge questions" in order to make sure they're learning important things like rank structure. Since the vast majority of them are coming from high school, it's actually a productive, useful thing to do. But I arriving as a PO2 with 6 years of service under my belt, I knew the answers to the questions better than the upper classmen. The first time I was asked about a Marine Corps junior enlisted rank, "What's an E-something or other in the Marine Corps?" I drew a blank. Not wanting to answer, "I don't know, Sir," I decided to be funny, so I said, "A Jarhead, Sir, just like the rest of them." The GYSGT was not amused, although pretty much everyone else was. While I was doing pushups, I realized that since doing pushups was no big deal, I could give the same answer whenever I was asked. It became a running joke with the unit staff, and after the Gunny transferred in the middle of my junior year, I was standing in formation when I heard someone tell the newly arrived Staff Sergeant that he should come over and ask me some rank questions. The Staff Sergeant answered, puzzled, "Why do you want me to ask a MIDN 2/C knowledge questions? They know the answers by now." "Just ask him...". When he stopped laughing, he said, "That's the funniest thing I've heard all month. Now push."

Response by LCpl Jason Keiser made Mar 7 at 2019 3:31 PM

2019-03-07T15:31:05-05:00

I once had a E-7 go ape shif over me not saluting a WO whom had his back to me. I told that same E7 that if she was following proper orotoco while talking to the WO i would have been able to see his rank. (She should of been on his left side) God i to this day still think shes pissed off now in her grave. That was 20 uears ago.

Response by CPL(P) Mark Fies made Apr 28 at 2019 6:11 PM

2019-04-28T18:11:03-04:00

My normal response to just about everything while deployed during Operations Intrinsic Action and Iris Gold, "I can't do that sir." "Why not Fies?" My answer, "Because I'm too cute fer this shit!" True story. I think I did more pushups those two tours than the rest of the Task Force (1-9) did collectively.

Response by SSG Daniel Brewster made Apr 28 at 2019 11:21 PM

2019-04-28T23:21:32-04:00

When graduating from Infantry school at Ft Benning I received orders for Alaska. I went and found the sr drill Sgt and said, Drill Sgt, there a problem with my orders. Within missing a beat (or looking at the orders), he said, son, there no problem. And I said, but the orders are for Alaska. I don’t want to go to Alaska. He laughed and said, well, you’re going. “Oh no I’m not - I enlisted with a guaranteed overseas assignment”, thinking I was going to go to Germany and chase girls and drink beer. He laughed again and said, “the army considers Alaska overseas. Now get on the bus!”

Lol. I had a great time in Alaska.

Response by SFC Bill Snyder made Jan 26 at 2020 6:24 PM

2020-01-26T18:24:50-05:00

Oh, it was 1955, Ft Eustis, Va. Run up on my first female Officer, a Lt. Not knowing any better, I didn't salute her. She proceeded to chew me out and I kept saying 'Yes SiR." She told me She was a Lady it was Yes Mam. I told her she wasn't a lady; she was an officer.

Response by MSgt Christopher Schaefer made Jan 26 at 2020 7:56 PM

2020-01-26T19:56:48-05:00

I was a young TSgt in charge of the machine shop. We had an IG inspection coming up and our Maintenance Officer, and Major as well as an ordained minister came through and said we had metal chips on a machine. I said "Well, imagine that." He then said "The shop need to be spotless." Then as I was bending down to pick up a chip off the floor I said - out loud no less - "That's fu**ing stupid." Well it wasn't long before I was standing in front of his desk getting a talking to. He said he thought I was a good shop chief before but now he wondered if I should be the shop chief. I said "Replace me if you can find someone." He then told me to get out of his office.

Response by Maj John Bell made Jan 26 at 2020 8:28 PM

2020-01-26T20:28:17-05:00

"I told you so."

Response by MSgt Bill Miller made May 2 at 2020 12:21 PM

2020-05-02T12:21:20-04:00

Being born and raised 30 miles from Ft Leonard Wood, Basic Engineer OSUT and then stationed there I was not a happy Pvt2 for my first CSM inspection. When said CSM decided to chat with the new 17 year old skinny kid with no hair his first question was, of course “where ya from”? My answer was a loud and angry “Rolla, MO CSM!” The response was of course “join the Army and see The world huh?”. his next question was “Why do they call MO the Show Me State?” To which I responded “we’re all a bunch of F*#@&!n liars CSM! If you don’t see it, don’t believe it!”

I thought I was witty and acceptably rebellious... 1Sgt had a different opinion...

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2020 10:12 AM

2020-05-04T10:12:46-04:00

A friend of mine, Aerial Port Master Sgt, was doing pre-flight security at the PAX terminal in the AOR when a 1-star came through with a loaded side arm. He asked the general multiple times to unload and safe his weapon, per regulations, but the general kept arguing with him. Finally the general tried to pull rank and my buddy said, “ Sir, you seem to be confusing your rank with my authority. Safe your weapon or I will not allow you on the plane.” ...the weapon was safed!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2020 9:03 PM

2020-05-04T21:03:33-04:00

Brand new E-4 at the time, but also the NCOIC of our COMSEC and COMM equipment.

Was in the field and some sergeant was unhappy with his radio in his HMMWV. The radios were locked up on the mount and their removal was at my discretion or the commander's.
I'm doing my daily rounds making sure the radios are key loaded and batteries are ready to go, when I come up to a clusterfuck of new privates on my next HMMWV. I ask what's going on and they step aside and SGT dickwit is trying to use his knife on the locking bars.
I question him and he says it's none of my business.
"Yes it is".
He looks at me and starts to get heated.
He goes off about rank and how it doesn't matter what I say and that it's Army equipment.

I walk off mid rant. Go into my tent and flip through my Memo binder, you see being well versed in SOP and Army doctrine helps create golden ticket memos. Thank god I make back up copies too, here's why.

I return to Sgt fuckwit and hand him the memo, citing his verified tampering of Sensitive equipment with crypto loaded, usage abuse, unlawful dismantling of equipment, and disregard of chain of command (my position trumped his rank).
He tears it up in my face so I go grab the copy and grab the commander and 1sg.

Not a pretty day for Sgt fuckwit

Response by SPC Phillip Vossler made Jan 17 at 2021 6:24 PM

2021-01-17T18:24:09-05:00

The stupidest thing i recall that ive said is, when i was in Kuwait 2003, at Camp Spearhead, was i was about to go on TCN guard. I was an Army Spc. And i made the mistake of saying yes Sgt to a Marine Corp SSG. Oh my, i was put at parade rest, while he chewed my ass up one side and down the other. It was at that moment, i learned just how anally retentive Marines can be. Fun times, lol

Response by MSgt Matt Hancock made Apr 27 at 2021 11:01 AM

2021-04-27T11:01:27-04:00

Chuckling here. I was a young E-5 (just selected) and nominated for NCO of the quarter for the base (Lackland AFB, TX) and one of the questions posed was about the TOPCAP program (Total Objective Plan for Career Airmen Personnel). I was asked to briefly explain the program and my statement: It is designed to to weed out people who fail to promote within an arbitrary timeframe (or words to that effect). Needless to say when one meets a board of senior NCOs, putting a very political program into "street vernacular" is not the rapid way to win awards nor friends.

Response by SFC David Johnson made Jan 11 at 2022 7:12 PM

2022-01-11T19:12:42-05:00

Once has a PV2 ask the former SMA Kidd, during a meet and greet, “yeah Sergeant, could you tell me why I ain’t promoted”.
The reply was simple and quick. “I am sure you will know that answer as soon as I leave the area” replied the SMA, while shaking his head and walking away.

Response by 1SG Jack Crutcher made Jan 11 at 2022 7:42 PM

2022-01-11T19:42:47-05:00

As a drill sgt one of my trainees came to me with a problem I could not solve so I ran it through my chain of command which could not solve the problem either. I asked if it was ok for me to talk to our CSM and got the go ahead. I knocked on the CSM door and asked if I could talk to him. After I presented the problem, the CSM cocked his head to the side and "said drill sgt take 4 steps back" which put me out of his office, then he said "read me the sign above the door to me" The sign said "don't bring me the problem, bring me the solution". I said SGM if I had the solution I would not have come to you. His reply was " drill sgt if that's the way you feel about it then don't bring me any more problems". I reported back to my 1SG and he told me " that is pretty much what he tells everyone.

Response by PO3 Scot Fahey made Jan 11 at 2022 7:48 PM

2022-01-11T19:48:55-05:00

Respectfully, sir, You are not cleared to enter the S.C.I.F.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2022 8:23 PM

2022-01-11T20:23:59-05:00

Went back in forth with the 1AD DCG-S, in front of various 1AD BDE/BN Commanders a few years back over a topic that falls within my area of expertise. Needless to say, my boss wasn’t happy. There’s a time and a place for everything. That wasn’t it.

Response by SrA Daniel Hunter made Jan 12 at 2022 2:13 PM

2022-01-12T14:13:52-05:00

Nothing big but I told Senior Master Sergeant Schwartz, "May the Schwartz be with you." While I was laughing he was thinking about the many ways he could end me and no one would know.

Response by SPC Michael Aldridge made Apr 24 at 2022 9:19 AM

2022-04-24T09:19:31-04:00

I was a 91T Animal Care Specialist assigned to Ft. Wainwright, Ak. After a visit from our Branch Commander he recommended I change back to my original MOS as the branch was loosing a lot of positions. So I reverted to 91D Operating Room Specialist. My first "human" surgery was with a female LTC and we were tying a woman's tubes to prevent further pregnancies. The LTC asked if I knew what I was doing and I replied " Yes Ma'am, I've done plenty of spays and neuters. Needless to say I wasn't in that Operating Room much longer.

Response by SPC Michael Aldridge made Apr 24 at 2022 9:26 AM

2022-04-24T09:26:51-04:00

I was assigned to MEDDAC Ft.Wainwright, Ak as a 91T Animal Care Specialist. After a visit from our Branch Commander from D.C., he recommended I change my MOS as the branch was going to be losing a lot of positions with the draw down and there were not going to be a lot of promotions in the future. I reverted to my old MOS as a 91D Operating Room Specialist. My first "human" surgery was with a female LTC and we were going to tie a woman's tubes to prevent further pregnancies. As I was setting up the surgical case the LTC asked if I knew what I was doing? to which I replied, " Yes Ma'am, I've done plenty of spays and neuters." Needless to say someone else ended up doing that surgery.

Response by SFC Kevin Childers made Oct 1 at 2023 12:38 AM

2023-10-01T00:38:27-04:00

The morning after being hauled in by shore patrol from an inter company dispute I was called into the 1SG office. His only question was why did PVT B (who was on restriction) have my liberty card. I told him we had a fight and PVT B was a good man in a fight.

I expected my next stop was the COs office and whatever rank was lower than E1. In stead he quite profanely threw me out off his office.