What is the worst part, personally, about transitioning into civilian life?

2015-11-18T03:00:37-05:00

I am currently clearing out of the Army due to a medical retirement. I have my worries about being able to transition and/or function back to civilian life and the work force. What are some issues that you have faced? What have you done that helped you over come those issues?

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Nov 18 at 2015 3:18 AM

2015-11-18T03:18:24-05:00

It's not as difficult as you might think. You will probably be the most dedicated man on the job, but that is not a drawback. Don't expect anyone to have your six though.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Nov 18 at 2015 4:37 AM

2015-11-18T04:37:01-05:00

My biggest issue personally was people asking me if I had PTSD. I dealt with that by saying "Not that it's any of your business, but it's also illegal to ask about my medical conditions."

Of course, that made people think I was intimidating, argumentative, and scary and I got "talked to" a lot by the supervisor at my first post-Navy job.

Response by SGT Bryan O'Reilly made Nov 18 at 2015 6:11 AM

2015-11-18T06:11:45-05:00

For me is explaining to liberals that the articles of American freedom are inextricably intertwined and inseparable They cannot parse the 2nd amendment and maintain a whole document. That, while thy as free Americans may choose not to support gun ownership, their kids are born with that as a birthright. And that if they do not educate them in the safe and responsible handling of guns then their children will learn about it on the streets and that worked so well with drugs and sex right? I also mention while I and my fellow Vets take an oath to protect these articles of freedom, they are responsible for knowing them and for teaching their children.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Nov 18 at 2015 6:46 AM

2015-11-18T06:46:23-05:00

The lack of work ethic is the biggest obstacle

Response by SGT Joseph Curl made Nov 18 at 2015 7:46 AM

2015-11-18T07:46:12-05:00

It really wasn't too difficult. I've shared this quote in the past in another thread and it fits here so I'll share it again. My manager said this to me the day he interviewed me for the job I'm currently holding. He's also a veteran. He told me, "Don't let what you did in the service define who you are today". He meant simply, don't let the military influence control you. Of course, it's going to influence our lives, but that doesn't mean we should be consumed by it. Good luck in your transition

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 7:56 AM

2015-11-18T07:56:14-05:00

I have my worries to as I am medically retiring as well. I will miss the Arm but realize that I will never be a full civilian and thus have to accept it, the Army has changed me

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 8:11 AM

2015-11-18T08:11:50-05:00

It was easy, I got out w/ 3 MONTHS of leave time. I had job beforbefore Ets date. The separation from my friends AND all i knew for yrs I guess

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Nov 18 at 2015 8:14 AM

2015-11-18T08:14:38-05:00

I have to admit, I miss the structure and organization of the military, and "Big Boy/Girl" rules take on a whole new meaning on the civilian side...

Response by MSgt Manuel Diaz made Nov 18 at 2015 8:53 AM

2015-11-18T08:53:30-05:00

Just think of it as having a very different or non existing command or management structure with no uniform required. The ass kissers and micro managers are rampant, regardless if corporate or not.
Just figure out what your job is and what your bosses boss wants and do it. Many times you will figure out your boss is an idiot promoted because he can't do the job and can't be fired because or some favor owed somewhere. The work day passes quicker when your busy so avoid the gossips, they just wanna spread rumors about you as soon as you tell them something juicy. Somethings are the same as the military. Like the military, some leaders are great, some not. Look for something you enjoy doing and the rest doesn't matter

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Nov 18 at 2015 9:20 AM

2015-11-18T09:20:51-05:00

It was difficult for me. I went to work at a company that had been there forever. There processes were ancient and their equipment was even older. It had been beat into my head that if you weren't at least 15 minutes early you were late. After a few weeks of work I was told to slow down, that I was making folks look bad. I was getting things done. When I submitted ways to do things better or suggested a six sigma change process review, I was told thank you now get back to work if I was even responded to at all. A 20% scrap rate was acceptable. I know that they aren't all like this but it was difficult at best. I have friends that have experienced the same things of being told to not dress up or they will expect it from everyone, slow down on the work and stretch it out and then they wanted war stories from the veteran and I just wasn't going to share all of that. You will probably not have a battle buddy though so watch your back.

What I did to overcome all of that was to be myself...always early, dressed appropriately, get the job done and go home knowing that I gave everything at the office that day. The rest will work itself out eventually. Use your training and that military work ethic and you will be successful. Who knows, you may be the change agent that the company that hires you needs to move forward.

Response by SGT Hansen Paskell made Nov 18 at 2015 9:34 AM

2015-11-18T09:34:54-05:00

I have been accused of being "too military". IE: straightforward, take charge, black/white view, enforce rules, direct and to the point, ect.

Some civilians have big feelings, they don't like to be told what to do, if you try to be a leader they will say that you are being "mean", ect.

Good luck! No one else will have your six unless you find a great employer who understands..

Response by Sgt Spencer Sikder made Nov 18 at 2015 9:53 AM

2015-11-18T09:53:39-05:00

The worst part initially was my expectation that people will do what I say quickly. I had a woman tell me one time to settle down, I wasn't in the Marine Corps anymore. That put me to reflecting on my behavior. I recognized I missed my Corps.

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made Nov 18 at 2015 10:10 AM

2015-11-18T10:10:42-05:00

The biggest thing I missed was the family I had around me at work. There are so many things you can ask of a brother and sister, that you can't ask of a colleague.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 10:20 AM

2015-11-18T10:20:13-05:00

Communications with Wife is first and foremost important! then THE family, friends. If this dont help, go to support group? And relax. U will be fine. As long as ur motivation is strong and steadfat

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 10:21 AM

2015-11-18T10:21:06-05:00

The unknown is the Worst thing!

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Nov 18 at 2015 10:36 AM

2015-11-18T10:36:02-05:00

Leaving it behind. Even though I was Army Reserve, when I retired, it took about two years for me to get it out of my system. I was kind of lost. Tthe things I missed the most, the job, and the soldiers in my unit. But above all was, a minimum of once a month I got to go "home". I live in Denmark, no Americans around. Once a month I could order an American breakfast at the messhall, I could have a cup of coffee, relax and read a newspaper(Stars & Stripes). Yea, I can read a Danish paper, but it's not the same. I could sit down, relax and enjoy a conversation and not have to think if I was saying it right.
I've had to move on. I got a hobby and became a member of the VFW. I stop looking back, and keep my eyes pointed forward. If we look back too much, we miss where we are going. I've also got into writing. I've written a couple books and working on a couple more. I'm retired now, and looking forward. My time in the military is gone, it was goood, and I enjoyed it, now life must move on.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 10:51 AM

2015-11-18T10:51:12-05:00

going back to work, i felt useless and without purpose

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made Nov 18 at 2015 12:21 PM

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Start your transition before you get out. Use the GI Bill.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 12:38 PM

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Resume tips for civilian world:
http://m.realwarriors.net/node/1298

Basic transition expectations and tips: (this guy is AF though... So that's like 1/2 civi to full civi, you may find good in it though. Also since you're an 11B.. I know reading is a challenge so he also has a podcast. Just kidding on that last bit Sgt, I love my 11Bs)
http://themilitarywallet.com/military-to-civilian-transition-tips/

Finally- a packing list. (This one is a little older, but still good guidelines)
https://news.clearancejobs.com/2011/06/13/the-final-countdown-your-military-separation-checklist/

GL Sgt- I wish you the best.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 2:27 PM

2015-11-18T14:27:11-05:00

When I got home from Afghanistan, I was 20 years old and trying to go back to college. The hardest part for me was feeling so alone. NO ONE understood me and I sure as hell didn't want to explain myself all the time. I found myself getting angry at every little thing. Sure I looked like an average college chick but I sure as hell didn't feel like one.

Response by SSG Steven Dowell made Nov 18 at 2015 4:36 PM

2015-11-18T16:36:04-05:00

I have just recently ETSd and its not that hard. The only difference is getting used to the way whatever job you have does things.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 4:45 PM

2015-11-18T16:45:02-05:00

One word.... Patience!!!
You will probably be one of the first to show up in the mornings.
Not a lot of organization or the working together mentality.
The thing that is hardest for me is to see the lack of leadership unfortunately. Civilian employers careless about their employees as long as they are doing their job.
It's hard not to cuss, or say military jargon but you'll learn.
You will be annoyed the constant complaining of petty stuff. Depending on employer you might see a lack of professionalism also.
You'll be fine just learn to be patient. So your job at best of your ability and if asked for constructive criticism then give it. Watch your bluntness though.... it's a gift and curse ( ;

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Nov 18 at 2015 5:05 PM

2015-11-18T17:05:14-05:00

Dealing with the VA and SS can be tough.

Response by 2LT Earl Dean made Nov 18 at 2015 11:07 PM

2015-11-18T23:07:36-05:00

The worst part was finding something I could do using the training and skills learned. Everyone said I was to experienced for there business or job! And going out on a medical!??? OMG! They will all look at you or look away and then ask if it will affect you performance of the job! I lost so many jobs that way. Things have changed some the past couple years for vets getting out, but don't expect them to be kewl, Capt Seid Waddell said it as right as anyone can! "Don't expect anyone to have your six" I took a job stocking selves at Walmart and moved up to tire manger before i found a decent paying job at a mental hospital, And for gods sake use your GI bill and use your VA benefits! Good luck man!

Response by CPO Greg Frazho made Nov 18 at 2015 11:34 PM

2015-11-18T23:34:51-05:00

The uncertainty, hands down. Some people leave active duty on Friday, as the saying goes, and report back to work in civilian clothes on Monday while on terminal leave. (The much-vaunted dual income). As much as that sounds cool, I do wonder if it's entirely fair. I relocated from San Diego to Las Vegas, only having finished my most recent deployment mere months before terminal began. Needless to say, it was rather difficult. But whose fault was that? Mine.

If you're a careerist, you need to think about going to TAP and formulating a robust plan about separating at least two years before your end of active obligated service. Guys that are in for 30 or more probably should stake it out at least three years, perhaps more, before retirement. Time is money. You have certain resources on active duty that you don't when you're out, namely a CAAC card that opens up a lot avenues of approach, so to speak.

Whether you're a one-hitch-and-out-er or a careerist, you have to have a plan, and it had better include for contingencies and a timetable much worse than you think it will ever be. Take it from one who knows.

Response by SCPO Larry Payne made Nov 19 at 2015 1:01 AM

2015-11-19T01:01:35-05:00

Getting treated like I don't have anything to contribute at my new employment despite the fact I have 30+ years of active duty service. Marginalized is what I would call it. Time to update the resume.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 3:24 AM

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I was discharged in June 1972, and my biggest fear was how would I relate to civilians. I started working full time and started college. I was four years older than most of the college students, but it seemed like a larger age difference. I was mature, disciplined, driven, and goal oriented, while a lot of the students were there to have a good time. I was either at work, at school, or home sleeping, so I really did not have much time to worry about anything. The busier you are, the less time you have to worry about functioning in the civilian world.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 10:37 AM

2015-11-19T10:37:29-05:00

If you are prepared it can be great. Ensure you know and the pros and cons. For example, for the 3rd year from ETS transfer your POST 9/11 GI Bill to your spouse of kids/dep. If not your will gain 3 yrs on you contract if you are at the last year.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 11:30 AM

2015-11-19T11:30:38-05:00

You are alone, no one is there to help you. Right now I just retired 2 months ago and to say the least, I am having a hard time finding a civilian job. You will heard of promises, but they are exactly that promises... Good luck

Response by SGT Ronald Bacon made Nov 19 at 2015 11:33 AM

2015-11-19T11:33:40-05:00

The sense of family with my coworkers. It may be the single biggest issue I had keeping a job. I found a small company who really does have a family like workplace.

Response by SGT Stanley Bass made Nov 19 at 2015 12:45 PM

2015-11-19T12:45:12-05:00

You are going to miss the Comradery that you have in the military. No matter what anybody tells you, even if you don't miss being in the military, you will feel lost at some point. It took me 2 years after getting out of the Army to find something that was similar to what I did at my last unit I was in. That helped drastically with the transition. When you go to the VA talk to all the people you can, it wil help. Anybody no matter the Generation gap will have advice for you. Listen to it and see if you can make it work for you. See if you can get into counselling early. I did not start mine until it was almost to late. Get into some Veteran support groups and talk with other veterans that have similar problems with transitioning. It will help. Two comments below from Capt Waddell and SSgt Robinson will hold true and you will see it. Nobody works together. Use your GI bill also. Getting involved with the Veterans club, if the college you attend has one, will help as well. I have a lot more thoughts send me a message if you would like

Response by SPC Lorne Smith made Nov 19 at 2015 1:54 PM

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Lingo, camaraderie, being underestimated or even overestimated. (Presumed to be of lower intelligence despite being higher than average, or being assumed to know high level classified intel "just because" I happened to have been a soldier). I began work in security with a predominantly veteran workforce. The structure of security and my fellows helped my transition while I went to school and completed the rest. It took me a good three or four years to relax.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 19 at 2015 2:36 PM

2015-11-19T14:36:16-05:00

As many on here have already said, letting go of who you were (are) and accepting who you've become is what's scary. For me, it's still a transition that I'm going through three years after. I still try to keep up with things, and each day takes SSG Swan that one day away from Matt Swan who I need to become again. For me I loved the Army through and through. From the dumbest details, to the biggest Alpha Charlie's, all of it I love and miss. But moving on is important. I've hidden my uniforms in the closet so I'll stop looking at them finding stuff wrongs and wanting to go to clothing and sales to get it fixed. No more war movies. I even try to "not" see every uniform violation when I go on post. But I also have a great group of clowns I hang with who are all prior service, and we're all in the same boat, trying to transition. Even more fun is when you see some snot nosed kid in the military either about to do something, or actually doing it, and you just shake your head and remember that was you then. It reinforces my belief that the more the Army changes, the little crap that made it fun, suck, piss you off, make you laugh, never change. It gets a new name, a new regulation, commander and a new 1SG who's biting your head off for the same crap he got away with also.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Nov 19 at 2015 2:50 PM

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The only thing I can think of is starting all over, not having 30 days leave and every holiday a 4 day weekend!

Response by Lt Col Stephen Petzold made Nov 19 at 2015 3:11 PM

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What I have found interesting is how few people actually ask about what I did in the Service. Other than fellow vets, just about no one asks about what I did. They thank me for serving, but that is about it. Not really an issue, just a curiosity, or lack of it I guess. ;)

Response by SSG Samuel Sohm made Nov 19 at 2015 3:24 PM

2015-11-19T15:24:12-05:00

Have recently done this and I will give you my opinion:

The worst part is the fact that people don't plan out their lives once they get out of the military. It is a very simple thing to have a plan, but a good chunk of the people I know just don't do it. That listlessness will only be magnified in a world where no one cares about you. Here is what has made me successful so far. I hope it helps you out:

1. I stayed in the Guard after coming off of 11 years of AD. It may seem silly, but I get to pop back into the uniform for a weekend and get my army fix. It also helps to have people that speak your language to talk to every once in awhile. I know that won't help you, but it may be good for another guy who is reading this.

2. I got a job right away. I took a month or so off and then worked the last 2 months of my terminal leave. I worked a lot and did the best I could. They even gave me employee of the month for the last 2 running. Work hard and you will be fine in that department.

3. I went back to school right away. This process started long before I got out. I secured a 2 year degree with a 4.0 GPA so that I could leverage that with my veteran status to get into the best program in my state. I basically walked through the school's admissions process and got a very nice letter from the president saying that they were impressed with my credentials and they would be honored to have me at their college. My hard work and long nights of school/homework paid off.

Along with this school has allowed me to broaden my horizons and perspectives. The military gave me certain ways of thinking, and those are an asset. I explained the teach/coach/mentor principle in an education class today in fact. People loved it!

4. I surround myself with good people. I am re-engaging my family after 11 years of missed holidays and events, trying to keep time open for my wife, and having some great times with my friends as well. It isn't easy all the time, but it is worth it.

Response by SPC Joshua Leuck made Nov 20 at 2015 11:05 AM

2015-11-20T11:05:25-05:00

When I first got out my biggest problem was civilians not understanding the worth of some of my training. Plus it seems they think all veterans has PTSD, and that we are all one second away from going postal. I've since had to stop working because of mulitpal issues due to my service.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 20 at 2015 5:01 PM

2015-11-20T17:01:03-05:00

I work at a WTU and I try to get all my soldiers to add me to FB as soon as they get out so I can keep track of them or even offer up help if needed. A couple of issues that I've seen.....
=That Sudden "OMG, I"m not on leave...I'm really OUT!" One soldier I had said it took him 2 months for it to really Hit him and days to get over that sudden, inexplicable feeling of "loss". Don't get stuck there! Go join a VFW or other veteran organization where you can still associate with other Vets and network to offset that feeling.
=That same soldier had a pay issue a month after leaving the Army. Then he's Stateside and it's finance in another country that's the problem. Make sure you give your COC contact info and keep theirs in case an issue arises that they can help you with. Thankfully I could just call or even drive over to finance, vs. him having to pay a ton of money to call overseas.
=The V.A. A friend got out and had a major medical issue a few weeks later. The VA was both very good at times, and Very very bad at times. It's a crap shoot. Try to get decent medical insurance as soon as you can if you're not already 100% covered.
=Self-Direction/Motivation...Another buddy of mine failed out of his college. He'd gone from being in the Army where, if you didn't so the Right Thing, you'd get hammered. Someone was there to tell him what to wear, where to go, how to stand, dress, speak...Suddenly if he didn't show up for school or do his homework...Oh well. YOUR Problem...No one is going to Tell you to come to class, do your homework, do your job. If you don't, they're just going to ask you to leave. And there's no intermediate punishment time (ART 15) to wake you up. One day you have a job/school...and the next you're just Fired. Stay Motivated and don't fall into a pattern of laziness because an NCO isn't standing over you 24/7 to put you back in line.
=Everything everyone else said.
I've helped over a dozen soldiers transition out of the Army on Medical Retirement or Disability in the WTU. Before that, at my last duty station, I chaptered out 7. I'm still in touch with 5 of those "problem soldiers". Every Single ONE of them is doing just fine. They all have jobs or are in school and have a roof over their head--even that 1 guy that just couldn't stop smoking pot LOL. You're going to be fine. Have Faith in yourself.

Response by MSG Douglas Tolliver made Nov 20 at 2015 6:58 PM

2015-11-20T18:58:57-05:00

Everything, don't do it! Actually, if you don't have a degree or a plan, it's pretty hard. If part of your transition is to go to school then by all means do it. I just finished my degree almost three years after retiring. Get your resume ready and take advantage of Transition Assistance.

Response by PO3 David Miller made Nov 20 at 2015 7:04 PM

2015-11-20T19:04:36-05:00

Not that bad. Biggest issue for me was my resume. You are really starting from ground zero again. You must figure out what skills, etc. you can use on the resume for the position you are looking at. You have to sale yourself to civilian employers. Also, some employers can't stand to hire vets. Sad by true.

Response by SGT Keith Wilson made Nov 21 at 2015 12:30 AM

2015-11-21T00:30:13-05:00

There really isn't any worst part about transitioning into the civilian world. It's all about how prepared you have been positioning yourself for the future. What I mean is at some point we have to get out the military ie medical, retirement or ets. What skills have you acquired, what training have you received, do you have a deree, some type of certification in other words did you position yourself to be markable once you get out the military

Response by CH (LTC) Robert Leroe made Nov 21 at 2015 11:08 AM

2015-11-21T11:08:42-05:00

As a retired Chaplain, when serving as president of my town's Clergy Association, it was hard to get local pastors to make it to meetings and participate in ecumenical events. They don't take orders well. ;)

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Nov 21 at 2015 7:46 PM

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I am a domestic god now. Nothing more.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Nov 21 at 2015 10:42 PM

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Civilians

Response by SPC Carrie Cates made Nov 21 at 2015 10:57 PM

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Personally for me, it was fear of the unknown. Having to apply for jobs and wiondering where your next meal was coming from, how you're going to pay for rent. The military provides a huge sense of security until its no longer there and you are all alone in the vast world. It sucks until you find your footing again and then you have to work with naive civilians with no ethics.

Response by PO1 Cameron Rhyne made Nov 24 at 2015 2:08 AM

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Being unemployed for a few months before I got hired for my current job. I was feeling pretty useless and restless for a while, and job hunting was depressing as hell. I actually took a job I wasn't sure about, despite my misgivings, because they offered it to me with almost no effort on my part. I quit after two weeks, because there were so many things I didn't like about the place(Being an OSHA investigation waiting to happen was just the biggest one). Luckily I was interviewed for my current job around the same time and I'm much more satisfied now.

Response by COL Jeff Williams made Nov 24 at 2015 6:30 AM

2015-11-24T06:30:19-05:00

You will encounter those who are fascinated with what you have done, those who could not care less, and those in between. For all three of those categories most of them will not care about "how you did things in the Army." You are operating in their world now, so be patient, embrace how they do things, and offer advice, but refrain from opposing things because it is not what you are used to doing

Response by MSgt Michael Areniego made Nov 24 at 2015 7:24 AM

2015-11-24T07:24:23-05:00

Preparation is key. i.e., resume (multiple) and networking, practicing your interview skills. Get your name out there with various job sites (Indeed, USAjobs, Monster, Career Builder). Set your goal to what you want to do... Finding a job is a job within itself. Good luck!

Response by CCMSgt Joseph Riff made Nov 24 at 2015 8:27 AM

2015-11-24T08:27:50-05:00

First and foremost...Thank You for Your Service!!! I can understand your concerns but don't fret. It's not going to be as big of a transition as you may think. I spent 27 in the Air Force. I've been retired for 3 years. I miss the comradery...the people who I considered to be my brothers and sisters. The first mountain you will have to climb will be the VA...fight for what is rightfully yours. Work with a VA service officer. And, if you don't agree with your initial evaluation then file an appeal. The work force is the work force...not much different then the military. I stayed in touch with some of my closest military friends, and I volunteer with two military affiliated organizations. The military is just a chapter in your life...that chapter is about to close and a new one is about to open. Embrace it and don't look back. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!

Response by CPT Robert Moody made Nov 24 at 2015 8:35 AM

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One of the biggest hurdles that I faced was understanding that most civilians do not understand the military and are to some degree intimidated by your service. It has been two generations since compulsory service (draft) and most of the employed people with which you have interface have no clue as to your real skill level. Along with that, most military transitioning have communication issues with non-military.
Advice: Keep a low profile, maintain situation awareness of the egos and processes, learn the culture and the language, network, network, network!
Your resume should interpret skill sets in civilian terms. No one understands what you are saying if you note that you commanded a combat operational company of 167 soldiers in Iraq / Afghanistan (basically you are scaring the civilians with this). They do understand that you managed and integrated 167 multi-disciplinary professionals in an international program and overcame cultural and linguistic challenges.

Response by MSgt Stephen Council made Nov 24 at 2015 8:43 AM

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SGT Justin Anderson I retired after 24 years. I did not want to retire, but I had to make a choice and for the first time in my career, I "chose" to not move my family again. The day after my retirement, my father (a retired MSgt) pulled me aside and gave me the following advice: He said you are not in the military anymore. It is not your job to correct infractions. It is not your job to hold active duty airmen to standards. That is the job of those still on active duty. He said my new job is to become as good or better in my next career as I was in the service. He said trust the young active duty troops and move on with your life and career. With that said, it was difficult to remain in the locale of the base that I retired out of. I have since moved to a new state. My wife and I are happy and fulfilled. I have a new career and I have adjusted to this new paradigm. One last piece of advice. If you have any difficulties transitioning, it is helpful to have mentors who have been where you are. Please feel free to hit me up if you wish.

Response by SFC Jon Vandeyacht made Nov 24 at 2015 8:49 AM

2015-11-24T08:49:06-05:00

I medretired out with 80%army, 100%va and 60%crsc. Almost everything i learned..i did on my own. Now i am a County Veterans Service Officer. I help vets navigate to va and many other veteran programs so they have fewer worries and problems than what i suffered. Shoot me an email and i will give you my office phone number. I will walk you through a lot of what you are going to have to do and some of the decisions you will be forced to make. [login to see] -lake.wi.us

Response by SFC Jon Vandeyacht made Nov 24 at 2015 8:49 AM

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Response by LTC Gail Daras made Nov 24 at 2015 8:55 AM

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Feeling alone in a community that did not appreciate my 20 years of service. It has required me to move to VA for new work and leave my family behind until we can get a new home built and the kids transferred to a new school. I networked like crazy on LinkedIn and that is how I found my current position. A total stranger helped me find this job because he worked at this company previously and he understood the value that I brought to the team.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 24 at 2015 9:01 AM

2015-11-24T09:01:53-05:00

Slowing down and feeling alone was the hardest part. Was constantly surrounded by some sort of community and level of comfort. Once out that is all gone. Being in and squared away gets results, but on the outside mostly everyone will just look the other way. It'll be hard to find other relatable veterans even while going to school. People our generation can be so busy or preoccupied. Reestablishing trust, new friend-ships, and just having everyday conversations with other people will be nothing like it was. So have a solid friend or two, stay sober, avoid burning any bridges, and try to connect well with a local veteran support group. All that can really help you process the change...

Response by SSG Kevin Wells made Nov 24 at 2015 9:32 AM

2015-11-24T09:32:57-05:00

For me, I never missed the daily BS, but I miss my brothers daily. The camaraderie is not easily replaced. The biggest learning curve for me was the idea that the majority of civilian have a very different work ethic. As a manager I would tell someone to do something (not barking orders but in a calm rational and professional manner). They would say, "I'll take care of it" but when it came time for it to be completed, I'd find out they either half-assed it, of did not bother. Now I have to micro manage folks to insure things get done and seniors see that as normal and not something to discourage.

Response by SGT Jason Covillon made Nov 24 at 2015 9:35 AM

2015-11-24T09:35:40-05:00

I've found that it's hard to connect with people simply due to the nature of their worries. After 7 and a half years in active duty I just don't give a shit that that boots you wanted were out of stock, that your boyfriend or girlfriend did or didn't do something trivial, or what so-and-so did over the weekend. Then there's the workplace wherr you'll see the majority are content with just getting by and putting forth minimal effort. And then there's college. A broken and illogical system whose sole purpose is to make money. 80 percent of what you'll learn has no bearing on the career you want, some of the assignments have no key purpose when it comes to the material, then there's subjective grading. Then there's the fact you'll still need to learn whatever job you manage to find because all you received was "knowledge." It's okay though, you served in the military and the civilian side is easier.

Response by Sgt Ronnie Mack made Nov 24 at 2015 9:48 AM

2015-11-24T09:48:27-05:00

The lack of respect! Do I feel that we should have presidence above everyone and special attention? HELL YES I DO!!!! When we are in the military, we are in charge not only I iur troops, but of hundreds of thousands of military equipment. When we get out, they wanna offer us minimum wage and then act like "We" are the ones that are suppose to be greatfull. Go figure!

Response by CPT Kurk Harris made Nov 24 at 2015 10:57 AM

2015-11-24T10:57:07-05:00

I think the worst part for me has been that things move slower in the civilian sector. I am always ready to bust out of the gate at a sprint to get A, B, and C done. But that is not always the case with others from what I can see. I also find that access to medical care where I am at has been less than what I had in the military.
That being said, my transition has been a positive. My boss, who is retired from the military, appreciates the fact that I can accomplish last minute taskers without drama, and done to standard. I have found my co-workers to be supportive for the most part, and professional. Unlike others on this board, I have not experienced the back-biting that many have experienced. I think attitude is everything. If you show up ready to work, with a smile, and a helping hand, you will be accepted. Ask questions and try to understand and assimilate into your new culture and you can really flourish.
The best things? Facial Hair, comfortable clothing, and the knowledge that 2 months from now you will not be sitting on some mountain or in some desert waiting to get shot at.

Response by Lt Col Robert Canfield made Nov 24 at 2015 10:58 AM

2015-11-24T10:58:17-05:00

Two things: the sense of camaraderie is many times lost (or greatly diminished) when you transition to civilian life. The other is that there are many people in civilian leadership positions, that just have no sense of ethics or doing what is right. Its all about what the "reports" or metrics will say about them if they don't manipulate the numbers to make themselves look good. This is especially true in corporate environments.

However, you can join various veterans organizations or just regularly meet-up with former military members for some adult beverages to maintain that connection. As for the corporate integrity issues you will be faced with (or lack thereof), I would usually openly challenge those company decisions that were just wrong. Sometimes they would see my point, other times they would pay lip service and blindly continue on. Eventually, with my last corporate job (rhymes with horizon), we just had to part ways.

Response by SSG John Caples made Nov 24 at 2015 11:15 AM

2015-11-24T11:15:50-05:00

It was not easy for me, I too,was medically retired from Army , however due to my disabilities I do not have to deal with civilians accept my mental health providers and go to my medical appointments. Get ready for a rude awakening brother unless you have your ducks in a row, you will be left behind the pack, these civilians do not operate like we do, they are for them selves no one else. There is no comeradery among them.

Response by SPC Anthony Moffett made Nov 24 at 2015 11:16 AM

2015-11-24T11:16:46-05:00

I had to redefine things. Teamwork, commitment, loyalty all have a much different meaning.

Response by CPO Steven Paxton made Nov 24 at 2015 3:31 PM

2015-11-24T15:31:01-05:00

Being able to quickly evaluate the professional level of those working around you. In the military you could look at rank, rating (MOS), awards and how quickly they had advanced. This gave you a quick and fairly accurate assessment of the professional ability of a military worker. It is not so obvious with civilian workers. It took longer and you had to use different clues to evaluate them. This is important because lots of well meaning civilians will be giving you advice and suggestions. How much weight do you give to them is harder to evaluate.

Response by PO2 Tim Schwebach made Nov 24 at 2015 4:49 PM

2015-11-24T16:49:15-05:00

Honestly its hard. People have a different experience every time. I had a boss once that hired several military only to find out that they dont work. So some employers have issues. Finding work is difficult. Cause unless you are law enforcement or a gorvernment worker its a completely work force.

Response by PO2 Tim Schwebach made Nov 24 at 2015 4:49 PM

2015-11-24T16:49:18-05:00

Response by PO1 Rodney Butts made Nov 24 at 2015 6:15 PM

2015-11-24T18:15:51-05:00

Hey, it can be Dicey at first, but a lot of companies like ex-military. I Retired from the USNavy in 1992,then went to work for the State of Md in their Division of Corrections. I Retired from there this past May 1st. So, it's really whatever you want to do.

Response by Sgt Terrill Perry made Nov 24 at 2015 6:33 PM

2015-11-24T18:33:09-05:00

Find a goal! Find and maintain friends who are what you spire to be. Never allow can't to enter your vocabulary. Never allow your experience to be discounted by you or anyone else. Never think you are above doing something, it's the things we don't want to do that teach us the most. There are a lot of sorry ass excuses for human beings out there: treat them with respect. There are a lot of good ones to. And #1 never, ever, ever freak out! You know what to do next, do it:) Never stop learning.

Response by MSgt Wayne Morris made Nov 24 at 2015 9:34 PM

2015-11-24T21:34:36-05:00

You are entering a whole new world and no one will really care what you did before and you will have to prove yourself all over again. In many companies rules are vague but I have seen a few make the mistake of going on too many long lunches and such. If you think the military had the politics you haven't seen anything yet and many companies have no clear promotion guidelines if any at all. Many jobs can be rewarding though and find a fellow vet there who knows the ropes and learn from him/her. It is strange at first but you military experience will enable you to follow through.

Response by Lt Col Rusty Bullerman made Nov 24 at 2015 9:57 PM

2015-11-24T21:57:42-05:00

The biggest problem I had was adjusting initially to the GI-Bill levels of income from a Captain on flight status because I needed to prepare for a civilian compatible career field. Apparently dropping bombs in the civilian sphere is frowned on. However, I was able to get into the reserves for a part time job and it worked out fine. I got my training and have been a computer nerd for over 30 years. Is this a great country or what?

Response by SPC Tony Bosket made Nov 24 at 2015 10:53 PM

2015-11-24T22:53:20-05:00

After my deployment, it was being part of a team.
Also learning not to use foul language sometimes.

Response by LCpl Stanley Frieze made Nov 25 at 2015 12:33 AM

2015-11-25T00:33:29-05:00

For me it was learning to relax a bit. I was used to the structure of the Marine corps and found it difficult to work at a civilian pace, if you will. It also took me some time to umm accept and tolerate the suckups. I was a bit harsh at first but that gets better. One thing I never got over is having to deal with complete cluster Fs. To this day I cannot stand disorder, and I've been out 25 years. I guess some things are just going to stick with you. I eventually found that I worked better alone, in a position where I was responsible for my own actions and I didn't have to deal with the mess. If something happened on one end I just called and made adjusents on the other end, that is just me. Some of my buddies had no issues transitioning back to civilian life.

Response by CPO David Sharp made Nov 25 at 2015 3:16 AM

2015-11-25T03:16:37-05:00

The Cartoon you posted does speak the truth. Some of the problems I have dealt with are basic things, e.g., showing up early to be prepared to either take over or get the COA under way promptly. Dealing with P.C. nonsense and inadvertently hurting someone's senses when I was simply relating facts (in our way), concentrating on "Mission Success" and not the side bars and waste of time. There are many factors which will have you step back and do a WTF appraisal but before you let loose with a tirade, remember where you are at and act like a native. Making new friends will help and make transition much smoother. Take advice and critical help serious and grow.

Response by Sgt Randy Linder made Nov 25 at 2015 7:40 AM

2015-11-25T07:40:29-05:00

I'd say it really depends on how GungHo you are about the service. If you are expecting things to run like the military where there is respect and discipline, the transition is going to be tough. I got out under a medical discharge as well. I found it very difficult and, 18 years later, still have issues with things (just not nearly as significantly as when I first got out). There is no easy solution to helping you overcome those issues. Only thing I can recommend is to adapt and overcome.

Response by SGT Wilson Dickey made Nov 25 at 2015 11:40 PM

2015-11-25T23:40:07-05:00

Can't count the number of times I mumbled "can't wait to get out and not work with stupid people".....

Turns out, most of the stupid people are not in the Army

Response by SGM Ray Whitaker made Nov 26 at 2015 10:25 AM

2015-11-26T10:25:57-05:00

I don't want to get into the negatives because I just don't think that will help you much. The biggest thing you have to worry about is your quality of life and I am positive you will do that.

The one thing you need to be doing, is networking. Go meet people, join local groups (of veterans, etc.) and let people get to know you. It's hard to transition from the military not having like minded people to lean on daily. Doing this one simple thing will be super beneficial for you and will make most of the worries you have seem unimportant.

Response by TSgt Jason Hernandez made Nov 28 at 2015 12:22 PM

2015-11-28T12:22:30-05:00

Embrace the change! If you find an organization with leaders whom accept and respect your leadership than stick with it IF not then move on until you find YOUR heart desire to grow and improve the organization! YOU have much to offer!!!

Response by PFC Donnie Harold Harris made Nov 29 at 2015 7:47 PM

2015-11-29T19:47:27-05:00

Make yourself Known to all available Union jobs in your area. Take the best for yourself and family. Live long and Make Good.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2015 9:50 PM

2015-12-01T21:50:49-05:00

I had a difficult time transitioning mainly because I tried holding people to the same standards as those in the military. I expected everyone to have a sense of responsibility, to work and live with a purpose and to take action to make things better instead of just complain about.
It took me awhile, I'd say a good 4 months, to learn to let things go when people acted as "victims" and not as adult humans with a conscious.
I realized quickly that people I used to be close with before I joined, weren't friends anymore because of differences.
It is a process and everyone copes with the transition differently, but what I found helped me was keeping in touch with army friends and finding a hobby (mine was bingo - I know I sound 90 and joining a gun club) that introduced me to new people with similar interests.
Remember that it is okay to get frustrated, but that everything is temporary and you'll find your place with whatever you choose to do.
Good luck and thank you for your service.

Response by SGT Rudy Gibson made Dec 3 at 2015 12:39 PM

2015-12-03T12:39:33-05:00

There are Veterans Employment representatives in every state. We are here to assist you with your transition. I advise you to sit down and speak to either a DVOP or LVER in your area. Go to your local workforce services agency in your area and ask to speak to the veterans rep. Trust me they know who you are looking for. You can talk to a counselor prior to your separation. I know this doesn't answer your question and the reason I did not answer is very simple. Transition is different for everyone.

Response by Sgt Ronnie Mack made Dec 10 at 2015 3:33 PM

2015-12-10T15:33:31-05:00

My worse part was adjusting to and or dealing with the late, nonpressed clothes, unsatisfactory attitudes of the undisciplined civilian workforce!!!!

Response by PFC Donnie Harold Harris made Dec 17 at 2015 6:19 PM

2015-12-17T18:19:14-05:00

Lack of follow up by the federally funded organizations to make you aware of all you are now worth for your services. Like VA- very low. State benefits. Make all possibilities of benefits available to you, Known and Understood and Demonstratable to others.

Response by CH (LTC) Robert Leroe made Dec 25 at 2015 9:27 AM

2015-12-25T09:27:33-05:00

As both an Army Brat and career Chaplain, I found that I didn't have a place to call home. I'd moved 25 times prior to military retirement. Like most, upon retirement I moved near a military base, but not so near that neighbors and friends were either active-duty or fellow military retirees. My point is I realized I'm not from anywhere except the military. I've fit in well enough in New England, but it has been a challenge. I went to where I could serve a church, and while I don't talk like the locals (nor does my wife) they respect veterans here. One Sunday I took off, and attended chapel at HAFB. When I came in and said we were retired military, they said, "You're one of us." It was a good feeling. I indeed was home.

Response by SSgt Bruce Wood made Dec 27 at 2016 1:10 PM

2016-12-27T13:10:45-05:00

I came out medically in 1986 and I was not aware of the benefits I had waiting through the VA. The military did not inform me of this when I was released, It was 2008 before I realized I had benefits that I could get thru the VA. Since then I have been trying to get my disability rating and so much of it they claim was not service related even though it is documented. I worked thru the years after I was released and was never able to really get a job that I could accelerate in and get promotions that I had the knowledge and experience to get but my physical disabilities held me back. I feel service member should be given a better education on the benefits they can get thru the VA without have to find out for themselves later down the road. I am now totally disabled everywhere except thru the VA and I am still working on that since 2009.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2017 12:04 PM

2017-01-05T12:04:30-05:00

Disconnecting from your people, association, and what you relied upon for so long in order to survive. If you don't have that "web" of support, healing, and a good place with friends/family to provide what you need when you're completely out - then it's going to be very hard. Just don't give up on anything. Life & peace prevails.