What is your best "Zonk" story?

2015-07-02T18:49:11-04:00

Zonk- Unofficial army command. Typically used during PT (physical training) formation as a way of dismissing a unit from duty. After the command of “Zonk!!” is given the entire unit runs off screaming and shouting to their barracks rooms or cars.

I recall my favorite. We just started what we were led to believe a 5-mile run in formation. We just were running by the barracks and all of a sudden a "Zonk!" rang out. It was utter chaos as we ran off in all directions. I will say they were few and far between but they were priceless.

The video isn't of my unit but it shows what a "Zonk" is.

2-38 CAV | Facebook

The Phantom Recon Squadron started the Army Birthday celebration with a 5 mile run....terminated early by a ZONK. According to the Urban Dictionary, a...

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2015 6:56 PM

2015-07-02T18:56:00-04:00

Mine was in 2003. Stationed in Taji we just spend the day and night on tower duty. The following day we had PT@0500 I was tired, exhausted, hating life and wondering what was wrong with 1SG! When I heard the command Zonk! Man oh man It's still a good feeling right now as I am thinking about it.

Response by SFC Everett Oliver made Jul 2 at 2015 7:06 PM

2015-07-02T19:06:48-04:00

I guess I've been out too long....Never heard of it...I retired in 93.

Response by MAJ Bryan Zeski made Jul 3 at 2015 2:59 AM

2015-07-03T02:59:52-04:00

Fort Drum, NY - circa winter 1998. Drove in for PT in the middle of a blizzard with near whiteout conditions and ice on the road. Managed to find a parking spot and my car slid through the slot into the frozen grass. But I made it on time! I ran slipping and sliding up into formation. Shortly after, the CSM gets up... talks for a bit about how cold and freezing everything is and then, in the middle of his talk, just yells out "ZONK!" It was my first one, so I wasn't exactly clear on what to do - so, I just saw everyone else bolting in every different direction (slipping and sliding on the ice) and did the same. Eventually I zig zagged back to my car, pushed it back into the lot and drove home (slowly!).

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 3 at 2015 10:11 AM

2015-07-03T10:11:30-04:00

We were in Iraq, and my team leader wasn't feeling well for pt that morning. She waited until all of us were present. She called ZONK, and we all went scrambling. Except for the other guy on my team. He dove into the bed of the nearest pickup truck, just so he could be out of sight. As I ran past him, he shushed me. So I was now laughing and running back to my CHU.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 3 at 2015 10:47 AM

2015-07-03T10:47:35-04:00

Fort Polk 2007. We were supposed to be going on a 12 mile road march. So there we were in company formation with ricks on our backs while 1SG gave his speach. At the very end of his speach he looks around the formation and yells "ZONK!!", the winter company echoed his command as we ran into each other trying to get away, rucks on our backs and all. Good times!!

Response by 1SG Jeffrey Bergeron made Jul 3 at 2015 5:51 PM

2015-07-03T17:51:02-04:00

it was a cold wet morning in short sleeve shirt and shorts. The kind that make you appreicate the winter PT uniform. It was a BDE run, we formed up in a BDE Formation. Then the BDE Commander gathered us around a power genenator which he jumped on top of. He started his speak with great job on the past mission or training execise, then he stated " the old soldiers know what is about to happen" and Zonked the BDE. The funny thing is he did again after the deployment.

Response by SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres made Oct 18 at 2015 8:42 PM

2015-10-18T20:42:15-04:00

Bringing this topic up because I was going to create a post for it....but no point since you created one already. My best zonk story was quite a memorable one. My story took place in Baumholder, Germany. All of the officers were supposed to be called out to attend a meeting at the Battalion headquarters or something to that effect. Then the CSM and LTC decided to address the Battalion and the LTC started talking. After about 20 minutes (while standing in near freezing temperatures) I heard him say something like , " You all don't hear a word I'm saying do you?" Then I heard him yell, "Zonk" A whole battalion just running every which way, was definitely a sight to see.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 19 at 2015 10:15 PM

2015-10-19T22:15:05-04:00

Never had one. Must be in a real unit.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 20 at 2015 12:51 AM

2015-10-20T00:51:54-04:00

Zonk is not only an unofficial army command, it also seems to hold some kind of healing power. Once the word Zonk is uttered from the words of command I've noticed that about 90% of all lower body/no running/no pt profiles are magically cured. The shackles of injury and disability are cast off as the service member runs free for POV/barracks room/Out of sight.

Now the story:
It was a cold Friday morning in Germany, it had snowed heavily all week, and it wasn't letting up. Naturally the whole squadron was standing in formation, freezing, waiting for the SCO. Squadron CSM was standing about 25m behind my company formation. He was pacing back and forth. Thoughts I assumed lost in CSM things IE the ever worsening condition of his once pristine grass under this blanket of snow. regardless I did not look back to inquire.
The SCO finally arrived and began giving us our end of the week motivation morning squadron talk when behind us bellowed a command. "Snowball fight" it dawned on me that CSM was actual back there building up a small ammo point and began "lead" down range at all the companies. Immediately a formation of combat tested, combat approved professional soldiers reverted to 12 year olds as companies initially retreated to establish a brief defensive hold behind whatever they could. This went on for about 30-45 min.
Following the index and with the squadron formed up the SCO gave us what resembled a safety brief, which was unusual, normally he saved that for COB formations. He turned to the CSM to ask if he had anything to add and the man whispered Zonk.
As a established member of the E4 Mafia... Myself and others similar immediately began to fade, as if Scotty was calling us back up, last memory of seeing the faces of confused looking pvts as to why the entire formation just scattered was priceless.

Response by CMSgt James Nolan made Oct 20 at 2015 1:59 AM

2015-10-20T01:59:07-04:00

Never heard of it.

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made Oct 20 at 2015 10:23 AM

2015-10-20T10:23:11-04:00

I was new to my unit and fresh out of basic. I got to my unit in April and then it was Feb at Ft.Campbell. We had a rumor floating around that the commander might ZONK us! Had 3 inches of snow and was snowing really had. I was getting Zonk explained to me. "Just freaking disappear before the commander counts to 10"! about the time he walks out of the barracks to the first step and yelled this infamous word. Damn near broke my neck running into the ice covered steps headed in the barracks! good times. Post was shut down for a week! had a foot of snow that year!

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Apr 25 at 2016 1:52 AM

2016-04-25T01:52:42-04:00

I have never heard of it.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Apr 25 at 2016 12:01 PM

2016-04-25T12:01:16-04:00

Change of command ceremony, then, in what seemed to be mid-speech:
"Zonk!"
And for one long second, everyone stood motionless and confused, then this mass of people fled to all points of the compass as fast as our legs could carry us away. It. Was. Crazy! I'd been Zonked before, but nothing like that. Funny thing was, as most of us were bussed over to the parade field, had to come back--including me--albeit cautiously.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2019 9:23 PM

2019-03-06T21:23:16-05:00

Last year, we were getting ready to deploy, and most of our leadership was on leave. We had one morning where we were led to believe that we would have a diagnostic APFT. So, as we extended the formation, our SGT made one of our guys post, then immediately assume the leaning rest. We were then informed that it was our troop's birthday that day, and we sang Happy Birthday as he pushed. The next command came as "From front to rear, disappear! 3...2.." That's about all I heard as I channeled Usain Bolt and sprinted to my room in record time.