What is your craziest military story that you never thought was possible? What was the lesson learned?

2015-03-11T02:35:32-04:00

We all have at least one, if not 10000, stories where you learned something but totally never thought anything but "did that just happen?"? Post your favorite. Do not forget to include any lessons learned by those involved (or scratching their heads and were watching it all unfold).

****leave names out of it****

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 6:44 AM

2015-03-11T06:44:33-04:00

Here's a lesson learned, and I learned it. Back around 1999 or so, I was driving from Sarajevo to Tuzla, in some sort of civilian vehicle. The car was full - myself and three others. I think it was a local rental car, so it was not a high speed SUV. The roads were narrow, snowy, slippery, and dangerous. And on the side of the road - in many places - were long drops off what seemed like cliffs.

I was driving too fast for the conditions and I lost control of the car. It did a 360 and was stopped by a snow bank and some sand piled up on the side of the road. I can just imagine what my passengers must have thought -- "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!" I had a "did that just happen?" moment as soon as the car stopped moving.

The lesson was to slow it down and get to my destination safely.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 7:03 AM

2015-03-11T07:03:12-04:00

This is not the craziest, but.....

....being expected to develop a roadmap and long-term plan without a defined end-state or even defined goal to guide the plan development. Yep. Just happened. Literally building a plan to nowhere. Might actually find the edge of the World with this one.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 7:05 AM

2015-03-11T07:05:50-04:00

eh.... There once was this time on RallyPoint when people on RP who post allot got made at people like LTC Private RallyPoint Member for posting funnier and more popular post. He kept getting more attention though he clearly did not care but in the name of everyone else complained and had his very funny but interesting posts hidden. Now he very cleaverly incorperates his wonderful and beautfiully funny MEMEs into his posts. Seriously his post are funny but not as funny as the pot calling the kettle black. eh... God bless you LTC Private RallyPoint Member may you too reach the top. Because even CW5 Private RallyPoint Member knows LTC Private RallyPoint Member has skills. Eh.........?

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 9:52 AM

2015-03-11T09:52:55-04:00

some dumb guy asked a dumb question

https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/should-a-spc-stand-at-ease-for-a-cpl-should-a-msg-stand-at-ease-for-a-1sg-should-a-sgm-stand-at-ease-for-csm?urlhash=524052

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Mar 11 at 2015 9:53 AM

2015-03-11T09:53:44-04:00

Individuals literally (I shit you not) sewing their mouths closed in order to not testify in court. Thought it was local urban legend until I saw the after images from the medics after they undid what one of the idiots did to themselves. Unfortunately some of the other more gruesome stories are still classified, though confirmed.

Lesson learned - don't depose a dictator and leave the country w/o or with lopsided leadership. Even if the dictator is a cruel, vicious, SOB, leave well enough alone. As is, its a hell of a lot better that the resulting aftermath where just as much or even more cruelty is imposed on the population until things settle down - IF they ever settle down.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 10:00 AM

2015-03-11T10:00:05-04:00

Clearing an AT4 at a clearing barrell at Camp Victory, Iraq in 2003. I wasn't there, but some guy asked if he should clear all the weapons to the NCOIC in charge of clearing barrell area. The NCOIC must have absent mindedly said yes, and the Soldier fired it point blank at the barrell.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 11 at 2015 10:09 AM

2015-03-11T10:09:27-04:00

We're in Australia as our "good" (REALLY GOOD) port of call on a WestPAC.

BLT CO gives us a brief the day before we get there, basically the safety brief, which includes: buddy system, don't get into fights, wrap your tools, etc. His final words though were,

"Get back to the ship under your own power, with no cops chasing you, and and you're 'safe.'" (basically no paper work. Anything that happens will be informal.)

It had been a long float. One of my buddies was blitzed to the point of near incoherence. Walked up the gangplank, showed his ID, saluted the OOD "Request permisshion to go night night! Shir!" The PO3 standing there says granted, and my buddy, drops like a sack of potatoes.

The Master at Arms comes running over about to light us all up. One of the BN O's on duty stops him and waves us "away" (get out of here while I take care of this).

Lesson learned: If the BN CO says you're safe when you get on the boat, you're safe.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 10:26 AM

2015-03-11T10:26:10-04:00

No shit, there I was....at my Warrant Officer Advanced Course at Fort Gordon GA (Yes, I'm looking at you, C-442).... One of my classmates tore a ligament in his leg bad enough to need a brace and crutches.

We had PT formation on Barton Field, and our class leader rightfully decided my classmate didn't need to be hobbling on crutches across a big field, so she told him to stay in his room and she'd account for him.

When cadre was asked, prior to formation, how to account for him, the answer was: "report him out of ranks". Uh, WTF??? This is why I hate TRADOC. Yeah, way to treat TWO adult CWOs like children.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 3:01 PM

2015-03-11T15:01:13-04:00

Responding to an alcohol overdose by enema.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 3:48 PM

2015-03-11T15:48:09-04:00

LTC Private RallyPoint Member No s____, there I was.....

Castle IRC 2014......making a video about 2LTs saluting 1LTs!!!!!! What ya'll think: CPT Private RallyPoint Member , CPT Private RallyPoint Member , 1LT Private RallyPoint Member ??????

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 6:37 PM

2015-03-11T18:37:49-04:00

So "someone I know" was sent to a south/central American country. This person, fluent text book Spanish linguist, flies in early, checks in with the embassy, receives his myriad of briefings concerning the relative safety of the immediate area and the target area he will be traveling to the next day, and checks into the nearest state department approved hotel by five pm local.
After staring at the walls for an hour and realizing he was at least two hours behind eastern standard, he comes to the conclusion that he will not be getting to sleep anytime soon. He decides that he should go out and see the local sights, maybe buy some trinkets for his parents like a good soon, and enjoy his first night.
His first problem appears during dinner, having listened to advice from other soldiers about local cuisine, he is reluctant to eat unfamiliar items until he has acclimated. At the hotel he looks over the menu, translating things in his mind until he finds "bistec", steak, he begins to order it, But when the waiter asks for his side the soldier says "papas majadas", mashed potatoes, the waiter says he's never heard of it and recommends the salad. Our young soldier knows better than to try the salad, fertilized with god knows what and watered with probably worse. So he declines and asks if potatoes are available.
"Of course they are."
"Can I get them mashed?"
"It's not on the menu."
"I'll pay extra."
"It's not on the menu."
So a scene is forming over the dumbest possible topic. Voices are getting loud, people are starting to look. Finally an older gentleman comes over and pulls the soldier to the side.
"Soon, first time overseas?"
"Yes sir."
"I can tell. What is it you want to eat?"
"I just want done steak and mashed potatoes, honestly I'll take take any potato. There are like seven different dishes with potatoes as sides. I just want something simple."
The old man, "you aren't speaking the same language son, you can't get mashed potatoes here, because they puree them."
The embarrassed soldier apologizes to the waiter and the old man for his ignorance and The disturbance and orders his "puré de papas" without further problems.
After dinner, it's dark, and the soldier realizes that his tourism plans are shot. He looks at the map the hotel provided him featuring the local sights a glumly concludes that he might as well give up. The old man returns and did opposite him. "Why the long face?"
The soldier explains his problem.
"Are you military?"
"How did you know?"
"The dress shoes and hair cut."
The old man starts telling the soldier about his time in marine corps and that he was assigned to the embassy here a long time ago. He came back to visit and see some old friends. He tells the soldier that not all is lost, "look, go out have some fun. grab one of the cabs out front and tell them to take you to The nearest nightclub, I'll do you what my gunny did when I got here, here's a fifty, and I'm not taking no for answer."
The soldier takes the old marines advice. The marine walks him out and selects a taxi for him.
"Lleve mi amigo al nightclub más acerca"
"Estás seguro?"
"Claro que sí"
The soldier hops aboard and a minutes later is in front of the largest club he's seen since joining the service. He can hear the bass thumping, the marble staircase leading up to the oversize double doors, the neon lights flashing are overwhelming.
He pays the driver and walks up the stairs. He pays the cover charge after stepping through the oversize doors and and walks through another set into the dance area And what he saw amazed him. Beautiful women, everywhere. More importantly, naked beautiful women. It was at that moment when the soldier learned two valuable lessons.
Second, if you want to dance you should go to a disco.
First, never trust old marines.