What is your favorite example of good-natured inter-service rivalry?

2015-12-26T09:01:50-05:00

This question has some up before and a lot of RP members watched and waited but few contributed. Come on, we've heard at least one that's worth sharing like the Armed Forces Radio announcer in Saigon who said, "It's fourteen hundred hours. For you guys in the Air Force, that's two p.m. For the Marines, that's when the big hand is on the two and..."

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made Dec 26 at 2015 9:16 AM

2015-12-26T09:16:08-05:00

I like the one where the Marine and Army General are arguing about who is braver. The Marine calls over a young lance corporal orders him to climb a near by radio tower and leap off. The Marine does and jumps to his death. The Marine General looks at his peer and says "That is bravery". The Army General says "bah, I'll show you bravery" calls over a PFC and orders him to climb the tower and to swan dive into a pile of scrap metal. The PFC thinks about it a minute says "No offense Sir but get bent" and walks away. The Army General looks at the Marine General and says "now that is bravery".

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Dec 26 at 2015 9:21 AM

2015-12-26T09:21:43-05:00

To be fair CPT Jack Durish every Marine knows when 1400 hours is. That's when formation actually starts when the Cpl tells you to be there at 0630.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 10:14 AM

2015-12-26T10:14:37-05:00

SOCOM HQs in Tampa has special ops personnel from all the services, so there's a lot of rivalry. Last Xmas, a SEAL was newly assigned to a section that had an Army Ranger in it. The Ranger noticed the SEAL was sort of down about being new in town at the holidays, so he decided to help him out. He shows him an ad in the paper for a Xmas River Tour (the Hillsborough River runs right through downtown Tampa) and asks him if he wants to go. The ad gave the address and said $300, cash only. So they agree to meet up there Sat night.

The SEAL arrives first, and it's a small building next to the river. He walks in, and a woman says "do you have the $300?" The SEAL shows her the money, and she says go through this door to start the tour. The SEAL goes through the door, and is hit on the head with a baseball bat and knocked out. Two men take his money, tie his hands behind his back, and toss him in the river. While that is going on, the Ranger arrives, and the same thing happens to him, and he is tossed in the river shortly after the SEAL.

As they float down the river with their hands tied, the cold water wakes them up. They float alongside each other, and the SEAL looks at the Ranger and says:

Do they serve any food on this tour?

And the Ranger replies:

They didnt last year.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 11:27 AM

2015-12-26T11:27:19-05:00

Response by SSgt Terry P. made Dec 26 at 2015 11:33 AM

2015-12-26T11:33:00-05:00

CPT Jack Durish Marines are a department of the Navy.
The Men's department.

Response by MAJ Jim Woods made Dec 26 at 2015 12:47 PM

2015-12-26T12:47:20-05:00

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 26 at 2015 12:50 PM

2015-12-26T12:50:02-05:00

Up on Adak, we had a Marine detachment who kept a good eye on the "compound". Their OIC and I would bet a beer over a college game that we'd watch on AFRTS at the O-Club on Saturday. Bruce couldn't figure out my near perfect record. I let him down gentle as the TV games were delayed and I had a shortwave receiver at the house for real time updates. The Marine said I was cheating, I was saying Seabees Can Do, and life was good and beer was cheap.

We were doubling the size of the "compound" and building better defensive positions. The new fencing was highly tensioned and had sensors everywhere. The Marine Barracks skipper was up on Adak to check it out. Bruce was in his element showing him around the tower. Then the alarms went off, the Ready Squad was spilling out of the building, and the cameras panned over to a fence panel to record Lance Corporal Simmons taking a leak through the fence. We Seabees are family with the Marines so naturally that video was shown on the big screen at the Seabee Ball and pretty much every other public gathering over the next year.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 1:17 PM

2015-12-26T13:17:34-05:00

Just yesterday at Christmas, I was coloring a picture for my daughter and my Uncle (a former Marine) came in the room and asked if it was military training, I joked that I was thinking about switching from Army to Marines and thought I better get practice.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 1:21 PM

2015-12-26T13:21:58-05:00

Reaction to Snakes
• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.
• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.
• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."
• Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."
• Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
Used tank for road rage cartoon • 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
• MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.
• JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.
• Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.
• Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.
• Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
• Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
• Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.
• Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.
• AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.
• AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
• Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

Response by SSG Michael Hartsfield made Dec 26 at 2015 2:18 PM

2015-12-26T14:18:24-05:00

M.A.R.I.N.E.
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential
and my favorite....
U.S.M.C.
U Signeda Muthaf*%kin Contract
(ducking shoes)

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Dec 26 at 2015 3:08 PM

2015-12-26T15:08:42-05:00

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 26 at 2015 3:49 PM

2015-12-26T15:49:35-05:00

I believe it was for Grenada, Marines and Rangers were bored and boxed in an aircraft carrier.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Dec 26 at 2015 3:59 PM

2015-12-26T15:59:46-05:00

My favorite is one of my memes that has a Navy admiral and a Marine General and the admiral tells the general 'happy birthday general....240 years of owning your asses'. It never gets old and you see all the Jarheads come out of the woodwork saying they're not part of the Navy. When I get home I'll post it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 5:58 PM

2015-12-26T17:58:48-05:00

Of course that's a Army manual. I don't think Marines can spell those big words. You know like "the", "call"

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Dec 26 at 2015 6:45 PM

2015-12-26T18:45:43-05:00

Are we allowed to tell some our less than PC ones or is RP a safe-zone? If you want some of those I can weigh in later... Lol

We like to play one the whole "Army Strong" motto by referencing the NAVY IA's who filled their ranks down range...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:28 PM

2015-12-26T19:28:39-05:00

I'm sort of surprised to see so many people using the term "jarheads" for Marines. I remember they gave our battalion a briefing before a joint exercise with Marines, and the briefer said that no one should refer to Marines as jarheads anymore because that was inappropriate. One of the soldiers asked why, and the briefer said "because you can put something in a jar".

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 10:38 PM

2015-12-26T22:38:01-05:00

Hahahaha! Now that is some true comedy!

Response by Cpl Shawn Hueter made Dec 27 at 2015 11:37 AM

2015-12-27T11:37:04-05:00

ARMY stands for Ain't Real Marines/Men Yet

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 27 at 2015 3:44 PM

2015-12-27T15:44:26-05:00

And when we're done harpooning each other we all can hang at the small town theater.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 12:48 AM

2015-12-28T00:48:45-05:00

How do you kill a Marine.. throw sand on the wall and say. HIT THE BEACH... but love those USMC guys..

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 1:00 AM

2015-12-28T01:00:06-05:00

...does anyone know any good Coast Guard jokes... ??

Response by MCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 4:26 PM

2015-12-28T16:26:21-05:00

I was a Senior Chief, stationed as an instructor at the Air Force Senior NCO Academy (oh, no shortage of inter-service jokes there!!), and, during a break in the auditorium, this Navy Senior Chief was giving me a good-natured ribbing. Of course things quieted down to hear the "argument."

It all came to a head when he screams, "WHAT POSSIBLE PURPOSE DO THE DAMNED PUDDLE PIRATES FULFILL?!?!"

I just smiled and replied, "To make sure that Navy kids are cute."

This all was during week 1, and that night was the night of the "mixer" - and he and I got HAMMERED - and the damned Zoomies couldn't figure out why we weren't beating the hell out of each other. All the other services understood, though...

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 28 at 2015 10:16 PM

2015-12-28T22:16:33-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 28 at 2015 10:17 PM

2015-12-28T22:17:21-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 28 at 2015 10:18 PM

2015-12-28T22:18:34-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 28 at 2015 10:19 PM

2015-12-28T22:19:22-05:00

Response by PO1 John Miller made Dec 29 at 2015 1:50 AM

2015-12-29T01:50:09-05:00

How the "real" military feels about the Coast Guard! :)

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 29 at 2015 8:26 AM

2015-12-29T08:26:17-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 29 at 2015 8:27 AM

2015-12-29T08:27:30-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 29 at 2015 8:28 AM

2015-12-29T08:28:11-05:00

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Dec 29 at 2015 8:30 AM

2015-12-29T08:30:41-05:00

C'mon Master Chief.....It's all in good fun!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 2:34 PM

2015-12-29T14:34:30-05:00

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 2:38 PM

2015-12-29T14:38:48-05:00

What follows is something I put together for my Marine Corp page of http://www.warriorsfield.com( still building)
A South Vietnamese general called the Marine Corp Battalion Commander and yelled, my Battalion is pinned down by a Brigade of NVA, send help.!!
A Marine Corp company commander yelled from the HQ Hooch,
Hey Rock take a Company and rescue the South Vietnamese.
Sgt Rock, said, I’ll take the first platoon and do it.
************************

Response by A1C Lisa Casserly made Dec 29 at 2015 4:56 PM

2015-12-29T16:56:15-05:00

I come from a military family. We've fielded guys (and gals) since the Casserly guy served under William the Conqueror in 1066... I'd have to say THE NAME CALLING. All done in good fun. We call our Marines "jar heads". my Army daughter says two of her brothers are in the chAir Force. We call the Navy guys "squids", and the Army ones are just "stupid". Of course we don't really mean any of that in a bad way. They're all glad when they call for the Air Force, and we carpet bomb the bad guys into oblivion.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 11:22 PM

2015-12-29T23:22:49-05:00

I just wanted to keep the good humor going in this fun thread for a bit longer :)...

Response by CW3 Kevin Storm made Dec 30 at 2015 3:03 PM

2015-12-30T15:03:34-05:00

My niece, dropped out of college a few years ago, and decided to join the Marine Corp. She said the Recruiter told her joining the Marines would help her get into the FBI. I told her "don't you know Marines don't know how to spell FBI, let alone tell you how to become one."

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Dec 30 at 2015 5:29 PM

2015-12-30T17:29:30-05:00

Yesterday, at approximately 1535, a fire completely destroyed the library at West Point. Fortunately, the PAO from the US Military Academy reported no injuries and no deaths. However, they did loose both books. The Commandant was similarly pleased to learn that neither one had been colored-in yet.

Response by SPC Ken Sawyer made Jan 1 at 2016 10:08 AM

2016-01-01T10:08:31-05:00

My middle son is a Marine his older brother was in the National Guards. Well the older son went to Iraq my middle son kept getting base postings and couldn't buy a ticket to the war. ( he later ended up in Afghanistan ) We were all together and my oldest son beat his chest and told his little brother " don't worry Marine the National Guard went there to protect you" i thought there was going to be blood left on the floor lmao

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 1 at 2016 10:48 AM

2016-01-01T10:48:51-05:00

Dear Abby,

I am engaged to a wonderful woman. She, like me, is a Christian, God-fearing woman, who loves life and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her. Before we get married, though, I feel like I need to let her know about my family - she hasn't met any of them except for my mother.

My mother is a fairly normal, loving mother. My father, though, is serving life in prison for murder. My oldest brother is in the same cell as my father, but only for 30 years for smuggling and racketeering. I have another brother, who has been in the Air Force for about 4 years, and a younger brother who is a crack addict and lives in an alley downtown, selling and using crack cocaine daily and robbing people, homes and businesses to raise cash. He's been in and out of jail and institutions any number of times. I have two sisters. My oldest sister is married to a man whom she abuses physically and mentally. She beats him senseless, calls him names, berates him in front of strangers in public, and generally humiliates him at every turn. She is a mean, sadistic woman. I have a younger sister who is a prostitute who works in St. Louis.

I'm worried though, whether I should tell my bride-to-be everything about my family. As you can see, some of the details of some of my family members could frighten her away from me - so I'm scared of the thought. So my question to you, Dear Abby, is: Should I tell her about my brother in the Air Force?

Response by SPC Ken Sawyer made Jan 2 at 2016 8:49 AM

2016-01-02T08:49:10-05:00

As a trucker i had a load of computers going to the Navy base in Coronado Cal. When i got there the building they were going to didn't have a loading dock. They assigned 3 guys to unload me knowing that this was going to take several hrs i poked the bear. " You guys are never going to beat the Rangers unload time" One of the guys asked me what that meant so i told him " well i brought them a load last week and they had my trailer stripped and swept clean in 3 hrs" they emptied out the building and formed 3 chains and unloaded and cleaned the trailer ( no one cleans a trailer lol) in under 2 hrs. ( by the way i never delivered a load to the Rangers)

Response by PO1 John Juarez made Jan 3 at 2016 9:18 AM

2016-01-03T09:18:24-05:00

In 1995 I was sent to GITMO as a translator for the Cuban migrants that were there. I was the head linguist for Camp Lima. We had an Army artillery unit as camp guards. Day after day I had their Capt. call me Sargent Juarez. Everyday Id correct him "Sir, it's Petty Officer". One day he said he was Army and therefore wasn't familiar with Navy rank....... So next day he calls me "Hey Sgt. Juarez come here" and I answered "on my way LT"! Hey stopped dead in his tracks and said he was a Capt. I told him I was Navy and two bars to me was a LT.
He never called me Sgt. again!!!
Lol lol

Response by Capt Walter Miller made Jan 3 at 2016 12:29 PM

2016-01-03T12:29:34-05:00

We used to say that the Army dress uniform - when it was green - made the wearer look like a Christmas tree.

Walt

Response by MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht made Jan 3 at 2016 5:38 PM

2016-01-03T17:38:16-05:00

The Navy can't tell time, that is why they have bells.

Response by CPT Bruce Beattie made Aug 12 at 2018 7:35 PM

2018-08-12T19:35:49-04:00

Sorry, Captain Jack, but even in the Marines, at 1400hrs Mickey's LITTLE hand is on the two!

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Apr 14 at 2019 4:46 PM

2019-04-14T16:46:28-04:00

That was comment was Adrian Cronauer who I knew from listening to in Vietnam and then when we both lived down here in Virginia.