What options do I have, Hardship/Relocation/Transfer to the Guard etc?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 13:07:29 -0500

Hello all,

Thanks in advance for any answers and time spent on this post, I just need some clarity on an issue that I have and see what suggestions or experience is floating around on this forum. Background on this issue. I am currently married with 3 kids, I have been married for 12 years and in the military for 10. One of my children who is currently 4 years old was born with a heart condition that required two immediate surgeries at birth. During one of the surgeries he had a stroke at some point, possibly coming off of bypass. He currently is diagnosed with multiple heart issues stemming from the surgery, mild cerebral palsy due the stroke, dysarthria (speech disorder), hemi plegia (left sided weakness), Gastroperisis (slow gut motility) and multiple other diagnosis stemming from the stoke. He is in multiple therapies, PT, OT, Speech, feeding but is losing multiple services due to the school systems where we live and my wife becoming overwhelmed. Long story short my wife has made the decision to move back to our home town (roughly 6 hours away) because we could not provide the care he needed due to my work schedule and the other children. She will have the support of my family and also the school systems are providing the necessary therapies. I love my job and I have dedicated my entire adult life to the military but im not ok with being a father just on the weekends. Do I have any options here as the father or do I just have to ride out the rest of this enlistment (3ish years) and move with them when its all said and done. Thanks again for any replies and help.

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made Feb 17 at 2021 1:15 PM

SFC Melvin Brandenburg — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 13:15:09 -0500

Start with ACS and the chaplain.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Feb 17 at 2021 2:36 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 14:36:16 -0500

OK... this may be the hardest part, so I am going to just rip the band-aid off....

DO NOT DO ANYTHING which could jeopardize your active duty status, and do everything you can to stay in the Army as long as you can. I know you are looking at getting out in 3 years, and it is hard being away, BUT.... As much as we make fun of it, TriCare is some of the best insurance in America, especially when it comes to families. And it is FREE. A child with that many issues (and pre-existing issues...) will be almost impossible to insure, and cost and arm and a leg to do so. I know that is a very dispassionate and unempathetic way to look at it, but it is something you absolutely HAVE to consider.

Next, is there a base near your home town? This is a perfect case for a compassionate re-assignment. If not a close by base, what about recruiting duty? If neither of those, what about a different base near better medical facilities (off the top of my head, anything in the DC area)?

Ultimately, this will be up to your chain of command and HRC. If your CoC supports a compassionate re-assignment (and I would suspect they will, as long as they believe you are an NCO worth keeping in the Army, but I cannot speak for them), and HRC supports a compassionate re-assignment, then you may be in luck.

Is your child enrolled in EFMP? If not, do so now! EFMP will make sure that any future assignments are either A) able to support your child's medical needs, or B) unaccompanied. (Obviously unaccompanied tours are less preferable, but they happen).

But, at the end of the day, you may not be able to get what you want right now. You may have to stick it out until re-enlistment time, and then angle for station of choice. If you do choose to get out, make sure you have a SOLID plan to care for your child emotional, physically, AND financially before making the leap.

Response by CPT David Gowel made Feb 17 at 2021 4:58 PM

CPT David Gowel — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:58:29 -0500

OFC comes to mind that might have some thoughts here. PO3 Deidre Blascyk, any ideas for SSG Private RallyPoint Member about this caregiving situation? https://www.rallypoint.com/organizations/operation-family-caregiver-operation-family-caregiver-ofc

Operation Family Caregiver (OFC) | RallyPoint

Discover veteran friendly jobs at Operation Family Caregiver (OFC) and connect with military members and veterans working there now.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Feb 17 at 2021 5:32 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 17:32:14 -0500

SFC Casey O'Mally provided an excellent answer. I agree staying active duty through your current contract is essential. If you can do it, staying all the way to retirement may be most desired COA. I’d recommend move to San Antonio area. Major military medical facilities. WDC area and Norfolk areas also have lots of military medical facilities.

I worked 17 years in private sector. Many employers provide health insurance. They pay some portion of premium. Might be 90%, but it might be 20%. These insurers cannot raise price for preexisting conditions usually. On the other hand you might end up with no benefits. Your son might be covered by MEDICAID. (My great grandson has special needs and is covered by MEDICAID.) Charitable foundations may help cover some costs. Also look to Shriners Hospitals or St Jude’s.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Feb 17 at 2021 6:51 PM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 18:51:19 -0500

You love your job, and you love your family. In addition to your family challenges you have likely save a couple hundred thousand dollars based on surgeries. There aren’t a lot of insurances that will cover you and yours the way that the military does.

I cannot imagine the cost. Hopefully there is a balance for you and yours. There is a lot to contemplate. Have you thought about a recruiting stretch where your family is. This might provide you more time to come up with a workable solution.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2021 8:48 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 20:48:28 -0500

You could definitely get a hardship discharge. You would be eligible to transfer into the Guard or Reserves which would provide somewhat affordable Healthcare. If your HOR is close to an Army base or recruiting battalion you might even qualify for a compassionate reassignment.

I would say that your most important obligation is to provide financial stability to your family. Before you go and separate from Active Duty you need to have a realistic understanding of how expensive your Tricare can become and how you will support your family. Tricare Reserve is not free, there are co-pays, and shared costs and most importantly, you need to know if there are Tricare Network providers who are taking new patients and can take your child. If you have to use an out of network provider you'll be paying about 25% of those costs.

If you support those costs and have the financial ability to support your family then the best choice for you may be to separate and join the Reserves. As for Recruiting duty, you could apply but there's a strong chance that the significant demands you have could prevent you from being approved for recruiting duty.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Feb 18 at 2021 12:23 AM

SGM Bill Frazer — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 00:23:26 -0500

Damn, this is going to hurt Brother John, do not screw up with the Army. Right Now you and family are guaranteed health care until you ETS. It may be a pain, but its there for all of you. Health Insurance is costly, and job market id very unsettled right now thanks to Virus, Rumors of wage hikes, which will cost jobs, POTUS running from fossil fuel, costing more jobs and rising gas prices. Food will probably start raising as well. Nobody van say what will be there in jobs 3 yrs for now, but surely it will be better. Bigger companies can afford to pay more of your Health Insurance, while small companies may not even meet you half way. . Make a game plan, plan out any education you need, skills, certificates, etc/ Thern try to spend the last year finishing up. Safe up leave for bigger last paycheck. and Maybe 30 days out, flood the market with electronic resumes, etc. Get with Soldier Center to help.