What's the best course of action to arrive at my first duty station and support my wife right after the birth of our child?

SPC Josh Tharp — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:07:35 -0400

My wife is likely to give birth to our child just a few weeks after completion of my AIT if I am able to ship to basic and ait within a month of my physical on September 3rd. What is my best course of action to prepare to arrive at my duty station and support my wife at the time of birth?

We have discussed waiting until after birth, however my wife and I have agreed that it is better for me to be in training during pregnancy as opposed to post partum.

Thanks for your guidance!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2020 4:20 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:20:02 -0400

Right now during these COVID times, you will sit both at basic training and AIT for a few weeks some times up to a month before you are moved to the next location. So worst case you would spend a month after basic waiting to go to AIT and a month after AIT waiting to ship to your first duty station, where you will likely be under controlled monitoring for about 2 weeks. I personally would wait, just because that could get pushed to the right even farther on either end of it and you will end up missing the birth, but you know what is best for you and your family. To add perspective I have 5 kids and it's the same difficulty for my wife whether I'm present or not.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2020 4:22 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:22:33 -0400

I would wait. The odds you ship within a month are slim, but the odds you are shipped to your duty station immediately following are smaller.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2020 4:53 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:53:43 -0400

Whatever you think you are going to agree on in the interest of being there the most for her when she will need it the most, you're wrong. Now, I agree, if you are there at birth and right afterward that's great. Just be prepared to hear about it when you are NOT THERE regardless of which part it is.

You are going to eventually NOT BE THERE.

You ARE going to hear about it.

She is going to be PISSED

YOU are going to be PISSED.

You are BOTH in crappy situations. Her a mother alone, and you in TRADOC.
*************
Had my first kid born while in BOLC. Extremely lucky he was born at the last few weeks. Cadre front loaded my final presentation and I was essentially academically done a few days before he was born. But still I was trapped finishing the course the next two weeks, and I had used up all my allotted hours I could miss from the course to attending his birth.

There was nothing I could do to appease her. I literally have to play the Army Game and check the box on all the needed course requirements and attend the required hours. That is a hard standard that won't be compromised.

On the family end I just had to eat it, and take it whatever that was until I got to the end of TRADOC.

That's the road it sounds like your on.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Aug 28 at 2020 6:53 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 18:53:31 -0400

Friend, the service it not known for speed- You can't sign out on leave until you get to the 1st unit, and then it might be limited.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Aug 28 at 2020 7:14 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 19:14:42 -0400

I reported to pilot training in July and my son was born in October. I was allowed one day off. The day my son was born. Five days later wife supervised move from off base to on base quarters without me. All part of being a military spouse.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Aug 28 at 2020 7:22 PM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 19:22:42 -0400

If I were in your shoes I would wait to enlist, unless there are financial and insurance issues that cannot be felt with. You would have a tough time based on timing in supporting your wife while trying to get yourself squared away in the Army. There are a lot of challenges ahead for both of you, if you can be there as a civilian and enlist shortly after without hardship then do it. If you join there are many unknowns. Anyway you have a lot to deal with. Good luck.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 30 at 2020 8:06 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 30 Aug 2020 08:06:47 -0400

I was in a.i.t 4 months extra because of covid 19