What’s the best prank in uniform you've seen? Comment below!

2021-04-01T09:53:35-04:00

Response by Maj Robert Thornton made Apr 1 at 2021 10:01 AM

2021-04-01T10:01:36-04:00

We had a nurse Capt that was always pranking everyone. His favorite device was KY Jelly. In your hat, the phone, the toilet seat. On his last day prior to PCS ING, two of the med techs went out to his pickup, slimed the door handles, the seat and the steering wheel. As he left the building most of the nursing staff and med techs were watching from the windows. It is a shame we didn't have a Mike down there. First he got his hands into the KY on the door handles, no sweat, wiped off with a handkerchief. The fun part was watching him slide across the seat and attempting to grab the slimed steering wheel. Priceless payback!

Response by GySgt Thomas Vick made Apr 1 at 2021 10:08 AM

2021-04-01T10:08:30-04:00

Shoe polish in the ear piece of the phone.

Response by LTC Steve Beres made Apr 1 at 2021 10:40 AM

2021-04-01T10:40:37-04:00

A Motor Pool Sergeant having a new Private letting all the air out of a Humvee tires in the Spring to get rid of the Winter air, after all, we all know that Winter air is not as dense, don’t we? Carry-on, MP Sergeant...

Response by MSgt Don VandeBogert made Apr 1 at 2021 10:48 AM

2021-04-01T10:48:10-04:00

In the '90s, until '96 IIRC, the USAF enlisted had velcro/rank name patches on our BDUs. Lots got turned upside down or swapped to different uniforms. I got called out by my CC for wearing a MSgt patch from my boss as an Amn/E-2 in the DFAC.

I pulled lots of pranks with zip ties. Best prank I pulled was on my boss. We were slow at work. His shirt had the sleeves rolled and was hanging on the back of his chair. My trainer and I put a pair of zip ties in his sleeves. We had to guess at the size as he was a wiry guy but had Popeye forearms. One of his habits when putting his top on was to put a hand in each opening and sort of punch straight out. As I said, we were slow. Early afternoon he cuts everyone but the house mouse (my roomate) out for an early weekend. COB he grabs his shirt, puts his hands in and pushes out. He got about half way. The zip ties stuck tight on his forearms. He couldn't get his arms in amd he couldn't get them out. My roommate is rolling watching him struggle with his arms stuck. Boss was pissed. Come Monday morning everyone knows what happened. Boss is still pissed so in front of the formation calls me out, tells me I'm not allowed to touch a zip tie without permission, and tells the flight to watch out for me to which they all just start laughing which pisses him off more.

I've also taken boots, filled them with water and put them in the freezer. Soaked lots of shirts and hats and froze them as well. That cured the "put your stuff in your locker where it belongs" issues we had.

V/R
Bogie

Response by 1SG Steven Imerman made Apr 1 at 2021 11:36 AM

2021-04-01T11:36:47-04:00

If a new private was somehow down in the motor pool ahead of his squad, somebody would give him a piece of chalk and a hammer and set him to tapping on the APC to find spots of "aluminum rot." Of course, anyplace that had a fitting on the inside would sound a little different, and the kid would chalk an X, of course a heavy one so, "...if it rains you will still be able to see it."

And then everybody would stick close to watch the squad leader arrive and find chalked X marks all over his track.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 1 at 2021 3:36 PM

2021-04-01T15:36:29-04:00

Engineer test for newbies. Blindfolded and given an axe. If they hit the stump they pass. Their cover is placed on the stump first without their knowledge.

Response by SGT Matthew S. made Apr 1 at 2021 7:36 PM

2021-04-01T19:36:24-04:00

While practicing for funeral detail, we had a coffin & sandbags that was stored in the barracks basement. One day as we started to take the coffin back downstairs, one guy climbed inside and we looked around for the first victim- volunteer we could find to help carry it.
We called over another Soldier from the Platoon, and he knew it was heavy so he didn't think anything about it. When he had a hold of the handle, somebody knocked on the side of the casket, which was the signal, and the guy inside threw open the lid and shouted, “What’s a guy got to do to get some sleep around here?”
Our 'volunteer' shrieked and took off running, and we didn’t see him again for three hours.
During a JRTC rotation, we were on a night mission and one of the Soldiers in my Platoon relieved himself of a very large... deposit... in an empty conex container. He then called our LT over, claiming he had found a "WMD cache"... to which the poor LT began photographing and documenting it for far too long before realizing it was a joke.

Response by SSG Jason Penn made Apr 2 at 2021 4:25 PM

2021-04-02T16:25:56-04:00

Sending a new mechanic to check the air pressure in the road wheels of an M577 Command Track. Sending a new soldier to Division Supply Brigade to pick up chem-light batteries. Sending a new soldier in the field to go find a tee are double e. Telling a soldier to go to S1 and pick up a DA Form I D 10 T. There are way too many!

Response by SSG Thomas Elliott made Apr 2 at 2021 5:00 PM

2021-04-02T17:00:59-04:00

As a PVT, i got sent for a box of grid squares by my SSG so i went to supply asked for any old maps they had and spent the next hour or so cutting out the grid squares and putting them in a shoe box, 1SG see's me and asks what am i doing, i explain and he says don't show up till recall formation. SSG was not happy that day, 1SG had a surprise layout, My section was SFC, SSG and Me, SFC was on leave.

Response by PO3 Kenn Andrus made Apr 2 at 2021 6:22 PM

2021-04-02T18:22:00-04:00

When I first reported on board my ship it was the tradition to send the new guy out to get some fictitious item. I was sent out to get some "Bulkhead Remover". Little did my shipmates know but that I was wise to these sorts of things, but I dutifully went in search of said item. I went to a friend in the Ordinance Department and told him what I had been sent for and asked if he could help me out. We then took a 10 pound practice bomb, painted it OD with a yellow stripe around the nose, put an inert fuse in it and painted Mk 1 Bulkhead Remover on the side of it. I returned to the shop with the requested "Bulkhead Remover" in hand and gave it to PO1 that sent me out for it. Of course everyone freaked out and EOD got called in. They had a great laugh over the whole thing and put my "Bulkhead Remover" on display in their shop. Need less to say I was never again sent for any fictitious item.

Response by SrA Vincent Stafford made Apr 2 at 2021 6:23 PM

2021-04-02T18:23:18-04:00

Did a rotation out in the Deid, and caught the flight chief’s (MSgt White) computer unlocked. Well, if anyone remembers the base bulletin board on the network, then you remember the crazy ads people threw up using other people’s accounts. I posted as him, requesting a partner to work with for developing routines for Dance Dance Revolution. He wasn’t happy, but he knew it was funny and took it well.

Response by SSgt Art Miles made Apr 2 at 2021 6:24 PM

2021-04-02T18:24:15-04:00

No PCS orders with only 6 weeks left till my rotation, so I started a rumor that I got embassy duty in Stockholm, Sweden! Great fun till my CO called me into his office to congratulate me!

Response by SFC John Peters CWDP: BES, JSS made Apr 2 at 2021 6:52 PM

2021-04-02T18:52:03-04:00

While my son was in the Army in 2013 he had a buddy who lived off base and had a pet cat. My son knew that I grew catnip every year in the backyard for our cats so he asked if I would mail him a bunch of nip for his buddy's cat. I mailed the catnip to his unit address and he stuck it in his wall locker until he was able to give it to his buddy later that weekend. Well it just so happens that his unit decided to do a health and wellness inspection. His squad leader and platoon sergeant saw the bag of catnip sitting in his wall locker and of course flipped out because it looks just like pot. My son told them to relax and said it was just catnip. Of course my son's squad leader and platoon sergeant weren't going to let this golden opportunity go to waste. They asked to borrow the bag of catnip and decided to march over to the 1st Sergeant's office to show him what they found during their health & welfare inspection. When they plopped the bag on top's desk he apparently lost it and demanded to know where they found it and who it belonged to. When they said they found it in my son's wall locker the 1st Sergeant yelled out numerous expletives and started storming out the door to confront my son. At that point my son's squad leader & platoon sergeant finally fessed up and told the 1st Sergeant to calm down and that it was just catnip. From what my son told me...the 1st Sergeant was not too happy that he got pranked and allowed to lose his sh*t before the guys let him in on it.

Response by SFC David Stevens made Apr 2 at 2021 7:25 PM

2021-04-02T19:25:05-04:00

Too many to list, sending the lineman for "Antenna Grease", the newly assigned Aviation Ops Specialist sent to get a yard of "Flight line", or the Crew Chief right out of AIT tracking down some "Rotor Wash", last but not least a truck mechanic sent into the parking lot to do maintenance on a "ST-1(one)". They were not always as playful, I had a SGM who grew up in the motor pool, who was instructed exactly where to stand and how to remove the "Lubricating liquid retainer" (oil drain plug) to guarantee the face full of crankcase oil.

Response by SGT Bert Shearer made Apr 2 at 2021 7:36 PM

2021-04-02T19:36:18-04:00

This happened at Fort Hood in 1978. We had a brand new private E1 just process into our unit. He drove an Erkel looking little Subaru. Four of us picked that car up and moved it into the Battery Commander’s marked/reserved parking spot in front of the orderly room. The look on the guy’s face when he got called out at 1300 formation to move his his car out of the commanders space was priceless! Lucky for all parties concerned that the BC had a sense of humor!

Response by MSG Albert Grounds made Apr 2 at 2021 7:37 PM

2021-04-02T19:37:16-04:00

When going through basis training, there was a guy in the top bed next to mine that refused to take a shower and believe me, he did smell bad. I wasn't involved in this but the first thing they did to him was spray shaving cream on his palm and tickled his nose. He slapped at it and sat up spitting mad. That didn't resolve the problem so they took the springs off his bed and replaced them with string. He dropped from the top bed to the bottom bed, again very angry but two guys because of his attitude then took him into the shower and scrubbed him with lye soap. It was harsh but from that day, he got the message because he knew it was going to happen again if he didn't use better hygiene.

Response by SGT Bert Shearer made Apr 2 at 2021 7:43 PM

2021-04-02T19:43:12-04:00

New guy pranks:
Operated the old Q4 radars which were not solid state but tubes much like the old TV sets. Would always send the new guy to the PLL clerk in the motor pool to order a Fallopian tube for the radar. Would also have privates looking for the key to the azimuth stow lock and of course from time to time we would need a box of grid squares.

Response by Capt Robert Vincelette made Apr 2 at 2021 9:41 PM

2021-04-02T21:41:38-04:00

I was working as a C-130 navigator and we sometimes transported army troops about S.Vietnam. I built a battery powered reverberator I could connect between the microphone part of the headset and the intercom, radio, loudspeaker system in the aircraft. It was more common for jokes to be exchanged between flight crews and air traffic controllers especially when we transported them to air fields where they worked.
I was usually put on misfit crews because misfit crews not only performed well, but it was easier for me to get along with fellow cultural deviants.
The aircraft commander invited a soldier up to the flight deck to demonstrate the "new robot audio autopilot." With the real auto pilot it was a simple matter to cause the aircraft to turn by dialing a knob on the N-1 compass system. (It would work on the C-12 compass system which has rotating barrels with numbers on them like an automotive odometer with 1/10 degree numbers spinning up and down) The soldier was invited to tell the "robot" to turn right or left whereupon unnoticed in the back of the flight deck I turned the dial on the compass system and with the reverberator replied over the loudspeakers, "Yes, master."
I doubt anybody fell for it but they went along to experience entertainment.

Response by CW2 Jalistair B made Apr 2 at 2021 10:31 PM

2021-04-02T22:31:57-04:00

:) Well.... here goes. Before I went active duty I started off as an 88M in the AZ National Guard with the 1404th in Bellmont, AZ. At the time I was an E-4, and lived several hours away in Prescott, AZ. As such on drill weekends that did not require the soldiers to remain overnight, I would set up a cot and sleep in the armory. It had to be summer as June Bugs were in season and one night I spotted a skunk trailing the edge of the building hunting its dinner. The office of the armory had a double entrance so being the prankster I was, I closed the interior doors and propped open the exterior door with a rock and waited.

Sure enough, after a few minutes the skunk entered the building and I kicked the rock away from the door trapping the skunk in the entrance way. Next, I did the only thing a self respecting Joe would do... I left and want into town so as not to give myself away with some sort of laugh if one of the other Joe's who were camping out in the armory happened to stumble into my little trap. After a night of supporting the local establishments I came back and crashed for the night, making darn sure to stay well clear of my handy work. The next morning there was still no activity around the entrance as I stumbled to the showers. Then there was a shriek and I knew the trap was sprung! So... I took a nice long shower, ensured I remained composed, shaved dressed and faced the day.

At this stage caution tape was around the doors and the outer door was open to "vent" the air of the entrance. There was quite a bit of talk for the rest of the weekend, lots of speculation as to how the skunk got into the entryway, if it was accidental or intentional... and until today I have never shared the story with anyone in the military!

So... If you were there in the summer of either 1998 or 1999... it was me!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 2 at 2021 11:46 PM

2021-04-02T23:46:59-04:00

Under cover of darkness during the wee hours of the night a makeshift California flag and a sign stating *Surf the 34’ Wave* was affixed to the 34’ Tower @ BAC 01-86 @ Fort McCoy. Sure enlivened the morning formation when the Black Hats noticed said decorations. After the Cal Republic flag and surf instructions were removed all candidates from California were dispatched to the “gig pit.”

Response by PV2 Bob Ondown made Apr 3 at 2021 3:00 AM

2021-04-03T03:00:44-04:00

During Airborne jumps(Mass Tac),we used to get the Cherry's to crap their pants. When the green light came on, the person behind the cherry would hand a cut Static Line to the new guy yelling "Hey Cherry, you got my static line... this ones is yours"
Talk about bulging eyes.

Response by PFC William Mower made Apr 3 at 2021 10:38 AM

2021-04-03T10:38:19-04:00

While in charge of the tool room one of the mechanics sent a new guy to me for a can of
compression. I told him that it was checked out and sent him to another mechanic who said he just returned it. this went on for half an hour, till the recruit started crying.

Response by SGT John Overby made Apr 4 at 2021 6:30 PM

2021-04-04T18:30:32-04:00

While on active duty at Ft. Riley, I was returning to my HHC 1st Bdg. duty from lunch when I cocked my cap, walked like I had a club foot, and cork-screwed my right wrist. I was a Spec 4 at the time and just into my routine when I crossed paths with an SFC. Well, it was to late to get back into order so I just kept up the routine. After passing by the SFC I heard him say under his breath: "That poor SOB." I chuckled the rest of the day.

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Apr 5 at 2021 8:02 AM

2021-04-05T08:02:31-04:00

We used to hook up the field phone to door knobs, when you heard footsteps you started cranking, who even was coming thru the door got a hot hand. One day it was the 1st Sgt who got lit, he was a big man and he kicked the door off the hinges and he cussed the hell out if us. If you hook the phone crank to a hand drill you can close to 800 volts from it.

Response by CPT Ronald Scherick made Apr 5 at 2021 11:37 AM

2021-04-05T11:37:32-04:00

This was not really funny but more cruel but one of the dentists I served with had a patient that had never been to a dentist and had several non repairable teeth. He told this poor solider that the teeth were so far gone he had to blow them out.
He took a couple of cotton rolls and wrapped dental floss around them leaving the end hanging out as a fuse. the waxed dental floss acted like a candle wick He had the man bit on the cotton rolls and lite the end and jumped back covering his ears and yelling fire in the hole.
The poor kid when he saw the fire racing up the fuse spit out the cotton rolls.

Response by Cpl Timothy Foat made Apr 5 at 2021 3:11 PM

2021-04-05T15:11:00-04:00

Training in Central Training Area Okinawa. We had been tasked with setting up trip flares and the like for the line platoons to find (or not) on patrol. I set one up on the gate expecting to catch the company runner coming out in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, about 0200 or 0300 it was the 1st Sgt with the Company Gunny getting out to open the gate........

I did not get caught though.

Response by SSG Dale London made Apr 6 at 2021 6:21 AM

2021-04-06T06:21:34-04:00

Sending our noobs out on satellite watch. On mids we'd select the greenest noob and kit him or her out with a road-guard vest, coned flashlights, binoculars, an empty rucksack and a compass. We would then give them an azimuth that intersected with the local airport's approach pattern and told them to watch for lights, explaining that what they would see would be the alert indicators on old photo-surveillance satellites showing they had a film cannister to deploy. We would impress on the luckless dolt the importance of flashing a particular sequence at the bird and waiting for the reply: three long and three short red-light pulses. If they didn't get the reply then they needed to go back exactly 90 minutes later and try again but if the satellite didn't show up it meant the enemy got the cannister. If that happened they would have to get their ID-10-T form signed off by every watch supervisor.
It was a very involved prank but it kept everybody awake and entertained on a dull night shift.

Either that or the time someone added a quart of fruit pectin to the 5-gallon coffee urn at base ops.

Response by CPT Tom Obrien made Apr 9 at 2021 6:50 PM

2021-04-09T18:50:33-04:00

As a young Army Lt. we would go to the coat rack/coat room at the officers club and turn the rank insignia upside down on field grade officers epaulet on their overcoats or the eagle on their hats. Some never noticed until the next day when someone pointed it out to them

Response by LT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 11 at 2021 11:08 PM

2021-04-11T23:08:05-04:00

I change the auto correct in MS Office. I usually change "the" to a long phrase. This will now work in Outlook, Word, Excel, etc. Sometimes I used song lyrics. Just type "the" and [spacebar] and in pops lyrics to Blind Melon. Pretty funny when the poor guys don't know how to fix it. One guy asked me 6 months later if I knew how to fix it.

I also saved .wav files on the share drive of spaceballs quotes and made them play when a new email was received. One went off while the computer was locked and the CO was talking to our XO and OPSO...all of a sudden "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb".

Response by SFC Craig Titzkowski made Apr 17 at 2021 12:36 AM

2021-04-17T00:36:46-04:00

This isn't a prank but it was funny. I was in Afghanistan in 2012 on a base looking for space to store my stuff until I could get some green trucks in to move it the my base. I worked with a great guy and a friend Lee. So the guy that we contact first is a guy named SGT Head. Lee says we like to go by first names the SGT tells him his name is Richard. Lee couldn't hold it in why did your Dad name you Dick Head. that makes you SGT Dick Head. Well we didn't make any points with him but we did with his boss and we stored our stuff.

Response by CPL(P) Melvin Attenberg made Apr 22 at 2021 3:47 PM

2021-04-22T15:47:54-04:00

WHEN ONE OF OUR GUY'S WAS SLEEPING IN HIS BUNK AND WE TICKILED HIS PRIVATE AREA.BUT FIRST WE PUT SHAVING CREAM THERE YOU NO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 23 at 2021 9:20 AM

2021-04-23T09:20:27-04:00

Put folded ketchup packet under the toilet seat so when the person sits on the toilet it sprays all over their ass

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2021 12:43 AM

2021-04-29T00:43:17-04:00

When my first wife said “I do”

Response by Sgt Susan Mcneely made Apr 29 at 2021 1:03 AM

2021-04-29T01:03:49-04:00

Dumping a bucket of liquid nitrogen off the roof of a hanger at Travis AFB as the new airmen come out and tell them yeah it snows here all the time.

Response by Lt Col Leo Shockley made May 3 at 2021 6:52 PM

2021-05-03T18:52:41-04:00

We worked with an Oral surgeon that did not like the pollen in the air. So he would hold his breath from his car to the door. We would be waiting for him in strategic places to ask him a question , which he would answer. Of course he would have to breathe them. After he figured it out, he wouldn’t answer but would give us the one finger salute. Had to stop when one of the bosses saw it and said he was lucky that one of the many generals on base didn’t see him do it cause that would have been bad for him. We had to stop but it was fun while it lasted!

Response by SPC Josh Dionio made May 16 at 2021 1:06 AM

2021-05-16T01:06:39-04:00

I was in Salt Lake City with an NCO visiting Mormon Square while off duty from training for reclassification school from 13E to 13D. We decided to do the tour and they hand you these cards to fill out so that a missionary could visit you and try to convert you to the LDS. I stupidly filled it out with my own info, then I look over at the NCO's card and he tells me he's filling it out for one of the troops in our squad and put the armory as the address to visit him at. We finish that tour and then go to Brigham Young's house. We get the cards again, and he fills in another troop's name. I put an NCO nobody in our squad or our battery really cared for on the card. We do the tour and then forget about it for a while. We do drill a few months later and the NCO I went with to SLC comes up to me and says "The Mormons are here!" It all came back to me and since we had to do a drill elsewhere, I stayed in the van we were using for transport and watched as a couple of the guys got these missionaries to talk to them. End of the weekend, the NCO I wrote in ran into me and said it was the best prank he ever had pulled, then my 1SG chewed me out for it due to it not respecting people's religions and such. Either way, it was still the best prank I pulled in service.

Response by MAJ Forrest Davis made May 18 at 2021 7:24 AM

2021-05-18T07:24:56-04:00

Tent peg tied to the undercarriage of the car.

Response by Capt Curt Schmidt made Jun 17 at 2021 9:15 AM

2021-06-17T09:15:30-04:00

Three USAF pranks shared with me:

We'd send our new co-pilots out to get a bucket of prop wash or 6 feet of shore line.

We used to get the Airman Basic newbys that were working as medics on their first assignment out of school and we sent them to Central Supply looking for sterile Fallopian tubes.

Newbies were asked to fetch a bucket of steam, or a metric crescent wrench.

Response by SSG Dale London made Jun 17 at 2021 12:34 PM

2021-06-17T12:34:07-04:00

One of the more dastardly sets of pranks I witnessed happened on the Marine Corps' birthday in 1982 at the Presidio of Monterey. The Marines, feeling their oats as well as their beer, decided that the Navy barracks was too manly for its occupants -- so they painted the anchor outside pink with white polkadots.
Meanwhile, the Air Force's canine mascot looked too civilian so they gave the poor pooch a high and tight haircut.
I will not divulge what happened at the Army barracks save that it resulted in blows, bruises and busts back down to private for Jarheads and Dogfaces alike.
Nevertheless - a good time was had by at least a few.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 17 at 2021 2:10 PM

2021-06-17T14:10:40-04:00

Sending the new guy for squelch grease was always fun.

Response by PO2 Walter Savell made Jun 17 at 2021 6:48 PM

2021-06-17T18:48:39-04:00

Newly minted Mustang Ensign showed up in boot camp barracks as we were ready to hit the rack. As I heard "Attention on deck", I grabbed my 13 button trousers so they wouldn't hit the floor. The next thing I knew, he was right in my face "What do you have in your hands. sailor?' I immediately replied "my pants sir!' and immediately dropped trou. He made a hasty retreat as my boot camp mates stifled their laughter.

Response by LTC Ken Connolly made Jun 17 at 2021 8:28 PM

2021-06-17T20:28:09-04:00

Back in the day when I was a PVT with lots of time, we used the old shaving cream in the face trick, when the guy is sleeping put some shaving cream in his hand and then tickle his nose. He will invariably slap his face with the hand w/ the shaving cream and get the stuff all over his face.

Response by SSgt Russell Stevens made Jun 17 at 2021 8:32 PM

2021-06-17T20:32:33-04:00

I grabbed a bicycle belonging to a practical joker and hung it in the rafters of the squadron warehouse.

Response by 1SG Joseph Dartey made Jun 17 at 2021 9:06 PM

2021-06-17T21:06:52-04:00

Had a SGM in Germany that was a big prankster and a pain in the butt at the same time. When he PCS'd, I made a phone call to a friend of mine that worked at the German customs office and told him that he had a SGM catching a flight at Frankfurt International Airport and that he has some contraband concealed some where on his body. Know what that means, CAVITY CHECK! The SGM called me from the states and cussed me saying that he didn't have any proof that I made the call, but said that was the best payback he had ever experienced.

Response by CPL Douglas Chrysler made Jun 17 at 2021 11:51 PM

2021-06-17T23:51:04-04:00

I knew some Corpsmen who, when an MP came on sick call, would take the guy's shot record and one of them would leave with it.

Response by TSgt William Hall made Jun 18 at 2021 5:17 PM

2021-06-18T17:17:55-04:00

I was assigned to a repair facility, where we had one particularly unpopular E-6. He came in to work one morning, and when he unlocked his desk (the only one out of 10 that was locked,) he discovered that the drawers had been filled -exactly- to the top with flour … ruler-straight from side to side and end to end, with not a speck on any other surface!

Second place involved toolboxes - it was normal to hear cries of disgust when someone discovered that the underside of drawer handles were covered with liquid soldering flux, or the drawer filled with chad from paper tape. The winner was when one of the most inventive pranksters unlocked his toolbox and pulled open a medium drawer, and a shower of tools and chad hit the workbench. Someone had driven the pin from the latch, opened the toolbox, inverted the drawer pulls, filled the drawers with chad, inverted the toolbox, put the drawers in, then righted the toolbox and put the pin back in the latch! And, oh, yeah, the drawer pulls were just -painted- with flux underneath.

Response by CW3 Walter Goerner made Jun 19 at 2021 2:10 PM

2021-06-19T14:10:28-04:00

I used to prank people with putting peanut butter under their car door handles and we'd watch how the person reacted. The facial expressions were priceless. The face....then the inevitable slow sniff of the hand.

Response by CW3 Walter Goerner made Jun 19 at 2021 3:29 PM

2021-06-19T15:29:41-04:00

The best (or worst) prank I ever did was on a Battalion field exercise at Bragg back in 1979. Earlier in the day, I was watching with my field glasses, my platoon's response to an aggressor "attack" on their positions with a CPT friend of mine (the BN S-3) who was an evaluator. He was standing behind me when I heard a "POP" behind me and turned to the sound and was covered in white "smoke" which wasn't smoke but the condensed cloud of tear gas and that bum was running away and laughing. I got a full dose before I could get the mask on. I always was "suspected" as a practical joker in the BN...never proven...just suspected...from the fake dog shit on the toilet at the Brigade Commander's house bathroom (discovered by his wife) at an officer get together dinner, to fake ice cubes with real flies in drinks at officer get together's at the O club, to fake worm tablets (small compressed sponges that expand to look like worms when wet) dropped into wine carrafes at tables during dining in's. Never caught and never proven. But on this day, I had a plan for get back. It was the last day of the exercise, and at the end of the exercise we always had the "mad minute"....longer than a minute...where the troops would fire up all their blank ammo before having to turn in their pyro. Simulated grenades, artillery simulators, etc. Gas masks turned in, rifles, etc. The Operations area was separate from mine, deep in the woods, a trail going between the areas. The exercise outbrief was going to be held at the S-3 operations/briefing tent later after 2000 when it was dark and really dark where the Operations area was because it was under the trees. I had the plan. I kept a trip flare simulator back and went into the woods. I set up the trip flare across the main trail to the Operations tent. Across from the trail was a big depression full of a bunch of thick blackberry bushes with big thorns. About 30 minutes before the outbrief, I could hear people on the trail in the dark, heading for the Operations area walking and talking. Especially, I could hear the voice of the S-3 CPT. Well, they tripped the flare. I yelled "GAS" from the dark and all you could hear was people crashing through the blackberry bushes, swearing and yelling and cursing...it was wonderful. I snuck back to my tent, snickering. GOT HIM BACK!!!! So, I get ready to go to the outbrief and a 2LT comes to my tent and asks about any of my people not in their tents or communication vans? What for? The people that were in my ambush? It was the Brigade Commander and his staff accompanying the S-3 to the outbrief. Suspected....but never proven....even the Brigade Commander...just suspected it...and later on in Germany when I was under him again....he still tried to find out if it was me.

Response by PO2 Chris Lanham made Jun 22 at 2021 7:27 PM

2021-06-22T19:27:14-04:00

We were doing a live fire exercise as part of a dog and pony show for the commodore. Our division officer wanted to flex a little to impress the brass. So, he walked into the CIWS Mk 15 control room and asked us to set some firing cutouts that would allow the gun to engage the target sooner - directly off the port bridge wing where the brass would have a clear view. Because of the configuration of the ship we tried to tell him there were hard wired cut outs we could not override due to safety. He, however, informed us he had completed the three week familiarity course and knew how to "fight the ship with this weapons system." Our LPO and the rest of us trained and experienced techs tried to dissuade him. He ordered us to set the cut outs rather forcefully, to which we gave a hearty "Aye, aye sir!" and set about the fruitless task, knowing as we did so, we were providing the metaphorical rope with which our Divo would hang himself. The Divo went to give the pilot towing the target drone instructions on his approach for the right affect.
As predicted, when the drone made its approach, the trajectory did not meet engagement criteria. The Mk15 CIWS, simply tracked the drone until it was a physical impossibility for the drone to assume an attack posture that threatened ship - not one shot fired. When the 1MC keyed up calling for our Divo to report to the captain's ready room, we had a good chuckle at his expense.

Response by SFC Eric Anderson made Jun 23 at 2021 11:53 AM

2021-06-23T11:53:57-04:00

I was a topographic surveyor. We were out to do a night shot. Use stars to fix a point. There were five of us and my buddy had a bad leg. We set up a tripod with a light and he was to stay with the 'target'. I told my Sgt that wasn't needed and he agreed, so I stayed with my buddy. This was Germany in the summer time. After they left I looked around and noticed that we were about 100 yards from a village gasthaus. We had a radio and fresh batteries for the light. So we agreed to put a new battery in, take the radio and go to the gasthaus. We went in in uniform and put the PRC on the table and ordered beers. Half way through the beer, the Sgt called on the radio and said they lost sight of the light. So, as we sat there I said "on, off, on, off, etc." He responded, OK I see the light. Another 10 to 15 minutes later he called back and said that he lost it again. So we left. My buddy with the bad leg carried the radio and I ran to the light. Flipping the switch on and off. The problem was my speed and my buddy's speed weren't the same. But anyway, they said they had the light. About every 15 to 20 minutes they called. I then turned the light out. And they would call telling us to turn it on and off and we would answer that we were, but not. They next morning when we were all together, we found out that they were in a gasthaus telling us to turn it on and off. Then I told them that we were in a gasthaus at the same time. The Sgt got pissed at us, but felt it was ok for them.

Response by SSG(P) Ell Pizarek made Jun 23 at 2021 12:24 PM

2021-06-23T12:24:39-04:00

We had a Cherry Lt, who on his first day told the Psgt to stand down that he was in charge. That evening we told the Lt that we needed riser grease and the keys to the drop zone. He worked his way up to the bridge S3. He ended up with a tube of axle grease and a key tied to a 2 1/2 wheel ring. The Co put him in his place. He was gone by the end of the week.

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2021-06-23T23:24:17-04:00

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Response by SPC Douglas Yorke made Jun 24 at 2021 12:02 AM

2021-06-24T00:02:20-04:00

Marine LT transfer to the 8Deuce thought he was getting fragged during a practice maneuver. He pissed on himself!!

Response by SSG Bobby Richardson made Jun 24 at 2021 12:12 PM

2021-06-24T12:12:25-04:00

1976, La Faire Vite, Field Station Augsburg, Germany where, once passed the MP-guarded lobby, the entire building (80 meters x 150 meters) was a SCIF - 1 entry point, limited emergency exits, no windows anywhere.

One Monday we received a DF announcing a major overhaul of the site's Emergency Evacuation Plan and, since we had all manner of electronics and enough classified paper to fuel a power plant, we were all Paying Attention to the new procedure. The DF also scheduled a date and time-window for a simulated evacuation, to run a 'shakedown' on the plan; the last step in the plan was for each section to take *one* burn-bag to the incinerator where the official scorekeeper would log your section and time of completion. It was a whole thing.

Comes the night (sometime on 3rd shift) of the sim and the alarm sounds. We set about pretending to turn-off dozens of racks of electronic gear & shredding operational documents, culminating in the aforementioned burn-bag.

The entire sim wasn't complete until every section had dropped their burn-bag, so we're sitting around a table just twiddling our thumbs, sharpening pencils and throwing them into the ceiling tiles. After about 10 minutes of total boredom our section chief, Jim Rusk, turned to me with alarm on his face and in his voice as he said "Richardson, did you remember to close the windows??!!!"

I was up and 3 long steps away when I turned with a scowl and asked "*What* windows, Jim?"

Everyone in the section nearly pissed themselves laughing as they fell off their chairs; and 3 months later I was still getting out-of-place references to windows from people outside our section! :)

Response by MAJ Jim Woods made Jun 24 at 2021 1:15 PM

2021-06-24T13:15:29-04:00

I have a picture of me Saluting a Senior Candidate with my left hand. He didn't even notice! I think it is in the OCS Yearbook (which I have no Idea where it's at. If I find it I will repost.

Response by SFC Allen Murphy made Jun 24 at 2021 4:58 PM

2021-06-24T16:58:38-04:00

There are quite a few of the old classics from my years in the Army. Sending FNGs to get chemlight batteries, can of squelch, box of grid squares, a PRC-E8, blinker fluid, check for soft spots in the armor of M113 and then later the Bradly's, unscrew the cupola of the 113, get exhaust samples, boot polish on eye piece of binos, fill the XO's unsecure helmet with water an freeze it....

Response by SSgt Donald Hahn made Jun 25 at 2021 1:38 AM

2021-06-25T01:38:06-04:00

Snow Snakes, stationed in GrandForks N.D. to this day I still have to laugh, I wasn't known as a prankers, and really didn't believe that this FNG was that dumb to believe the story I made up on the spot about how this things caused a frost bite type of injury, not likely to even hurt you with the cold weather gear we had to wear, but the others guys when with it and were all nodding their heads that I was giving him the straight dope, later that night we were all switching out for lunch and a lite snow had been falling so there were this little ribbons of snow (said snow snakes) blowing around on the parking ramp, I see one rolling toward the FNG yell out his name and say SNAKE!..Jump! He did, belly flopping onto the hood of one of our trucks, a good four foot verticle, everyone just died laughing, while I was helping him off the hood. He was a good sport about it anyway.

Response by SPC Timothy Brown made Jun 25 at 2021 11:29 AM

2021-06-25T11:29:23-04:00

Response by CWO3 Warren Gaudreau made Jun 25 at 2021 11:46 AM

2021-06-25T11:46:52-04:00

Carbon black on the eye cups of binoculars on the bridge. Funny until the CO uses them.

Response by CWO3 Warren Gaudreau made Jun 25 at 2021 11:48 AM

2021-06-25T11:48:30-04:00

Carbon black on binocular eye cups, but not so funny when the CO uses them.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2021 1:38 PM

2021-06-25T13:38:18-04:00

I was stationed in Vilseck, Germany in the mid-1990s. I was a medic in a tank battalion (1/37 AR) and we were constantly in the field training. Aside from the common "check for soft spots" on the 113s, "go to supply and get a box of grid squares", we liked to fill the new Soldiers heads with stories of the boar hogs that were present in the field and how dangerous they were. The reality is if you leave them alone, they're probably going to leave you alone. What we told the Soldiers is how vicious they are, that they attack humans, and to be very cautious around them. They were terrified of the thought.

Fast forward to an FTX in Hoenfels and I was on radio watch duty (about 0400) and my new Soldier medic was sleeping in a GP small on a cot. I got the idea to scare him by acting like a boar. So, I started scratching the ground around his cot on the outside of the tent and snorting. I was trying so hard not to laugh as I worked my way around the tent to the opening (bumping his cot along the way for good measure). When I got to the tent door, I slung it open as I snorted and grunted as loud as I could. Oh my god, the young Soldier's eyes were as big as plates and he was backing up pushing and kicking out of his sleeping bag yelling SGT GRAYDON, SGT GRAYDON hahahaha. It was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen and I know the Soldier will never forget it.

We both laughed it off afterwards and it's a cherished prank memory I will remember forever just I am sure he has too!

Response by SGT Paul Richardson made Jun 25 at 2021 2:12 PM

2021-06-25T14:12:47-04:00

I was stationed in Germany, We were Ground Surveillance Radar. Spent time on the Czech boarder, our job was to watch for troops or tanks coming across the boarder. The Radar has two setting on on Strop and on on Cont,, if it were on continuous it was like static and any person or vehicle coming in to the signal would cause it to break up or have space in the static. on strop it sounded a lot like there were Tank coming. Ok here was happen we had one of our guys fall a sleep with the head phones on, he had it on Cont,,, we slip over and put on strobe, We woke him and had to hold him down from sounding the alarm of an attack. it was funny but later we thought if we had not got control of him we would have set wheel in motion that would have had big time consequences, but Pete never fell asleep on duty again..

Response by CPL Dylan Kahn made Jun 25 at 2021 3:35 PM

2021-06-25T15:35:14-04:00

Tying people to things without their knowledge. Somehow, this never got old. 550 through a rear belt loop typically

Response by GySgt Tim Taylor made Jun 26 at 2021 6:01 PM

2021-06-26T18:01:43-04:00

My Marine Attack Jet squadron got a new Sergeant Major from an Infantry background and he seemed disgusted by the casualness of Air Wingers. His office desk was always immaculate with nothing out of place. He accused a Seat Shop Marine filling oxygen bottles with LOX of cutting off the tops of his boots so he didn't have to blouse his Cammies. (They wore safety shoes with elastic at the ankles so the LOX would spill onto the ground instead of inside his boots, freezing his feet solid.

Some Staff NCOs decided he needed "loosening up" so they devised a plan. They put a set of Alpha's on a civilian tech rep who had hair over his collar. The Admin Chief told the Sergeant Major that there was a new Staff Sergeant checking in and the Sergeant Major said, "Have him report to me".

The Staff Sergeant, instead of banging on the hatch 3 times and requesting permission to enter, just casually sauntered in and said, Hi Sergeant Major", as he tossed his mock Service Record Book onto his desk and it slide across the top.

There was a set of footprints on top of his desk from where the Sergeant Major jumped on it and started choking the "Staff Sergeant".

The Staff NCO's who were hiding and watching around a corner rushed in and yelled, "Sergeant Major, it was just a joke!" as they tried to pull him off the Tech Rep, who was seriously rattled and in a daze.

The Sergeant Major started spending time around the Maintenance Marines and was amazed at how hard they worked and how late they would stay to finish the job. He was a bit more tolerant of Air Wingers after that.

Response by CPO Ed Hoover made Jun 26 at 2021 7:12 PM

2021-06-26T19:12:30-04:00

Navy would be sending out a newbie for a gallon of "relative bearing grease", batteries for the"sound powered phones", and on and on!

Response by SP5 Ann Parris made Jun 30 at 2021 3:30 PM

2021-06-30T15:30:36-04:00

Not sure this counts, but I sent a stripper to my husband's battalion commander on his birthday. His wife was in on it and when she showed up he said, "I'm going to kill Ann!" We got invited to dinner instead.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 4 at 2021 9:29 PM

2021-07-04T21:29:33-04:00

During PMCS on our Tracked Vehicles in the NCNG during a Drill weekend, We had our newbies on top of our M577's, Jumping up and down on top of them, checking the shocks. We kept telling them to jump harder, about that time our BC walked by. He stopped and looked and started to shake his head and mumbling as he walked away "Damn Medics". True story and not a Fairy Tale.

Response by SPC Robert Valverde made Jul 19 at 2021 1:23 AM

2021-07-19T01:23:42-04:00

The impossible sit up pulled on a green beret Sgt.

Response by PFC Martin Potashner made Jul 24 at 2021 10:52 AM

2021-07-24T10:52:33-04:00

we had short sheeting was one another when a guy was sleeping pour shaving cream in his hand and tickle his face with a feather.

Response by SGT Charles Cameron made Aug 6 at 2021 12:04 PM

2021-08-06T12:04:40-04:00

Well...It really wasn't "in uniform" @ the time. Had a PFC that refused to was his body. BOY did it stink after a time. He got the name..."Private Stinkbug". Well...as he was asleep one morning, the others in the barracks wrapped him in a blanket, brought him outside in front of the barracks and proceeded to scrub him down with a cold hose water, Tide soap and a broom. ( He did have his boxers on.) The CO came up & wanted to know "what's happening here?" We told him, he inspected said GI, thought a bit, and told us to leave him there to "dry out in the sun for a while". Needless to say, he bathed regularly after that. cir. Japan : "1970.

Response by SSG Phillip Hoffeld made Aug 21 at 2021 7:44 AM

2021-08-21T07:44:04-04:00

We had about 15 people in our SCIF and one Christmas we got into the supply room and found some small bells and string. We climbed under tables and desks and would tie the strings around an unsuspecting Soldier's boot. If you were REALLY lucky and fast, you could do both boots. And as the Soldier walked off, we would sing Jingle Bells. We called it, "Getting Bipped." Fun times at CECOM.

Response by SSG John Craig made Aug 21 at 2021 1:53 PM

2021-08-21T13:53:43-04:00

On my third deployment to iraq, I was on the Brigade Staff serving as the ABE NCOIC (Assistant Brigade Engineer Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge ) One of the Brigade Battle Captains, who I will call CPT Foodstealer, had a very bad habit of swiping other people's food and food supplies, without asking, from the fridge that was in the Brigade TOC .

I received a care package from my mom that included a mason jar full of homemade salsa. When I opened the jar of salsa, I hurt a pop and a hissing sound and smoke lifted up in the air from the salsa. Hearing the hissing sound and seeing the smoke made me pretty certain that the salsa had not survived it's transit from central Texas to Baghdad. That is when I came up with the idea of how we could break CPT Foodstealer of his food swiping habit.

I poured out about a third of the salsa, stirred it up real good, and then put it in the Brigade fridge. A couple of days later, my plan came to fruition as CPT Foodstealer decided to swipe the jar of homemade salsa without bothering to ask who it belonged to and took it to his desk in the office directly across the hall from the ABE shop. As the ABE OIC, the Brigade's Terrain team (the guys who made and printed all the maps for the Brigade), and I watched him, CPT Foodstealer eats ALL the salsa.

As he is eating his chips and salsa, we could hear him telling the other Battle Captain that he shared his office with that he had gotten lucky and found an open jar of homemade salsa that had been in the fridge for a couple of days and it didn't have a name on it (not that a name would have stopped him from swiping the salsa), and it was Really good salsa.

After about 45 minutes after he finished eating the salsa, he jumped up from his desk and LITERALLY RAN OUT of the TOC holding his stomach. As he was running out the TOC, we could hear his stomach gurgling. I'm not sure if he made it to the porta-sh**ter or not, but he didn't return to his desk in his office for about 4 hours. When he Finally did return to his desk, he was pale, covered in sweat, holding his stomach, and looked really weak. He then told the other Battle CPT "I think I must have eaten some bad salsa or something." The other Battle CPT just laughed at him and said "serves you right for eating somebody else's food."

Most of the Brigade staff got a good laugh out of this. I know it was pretty sh**y of me to put the salsa in the fridge, knowing it had spoiled before it got to me in Baghdad and I (almost) felt sorry for CPT Foodstealer for suffering the way he did (that lasted about 5 minutes). On the bright side, CPT Foodstealer probably lost about 15-20 pounds of excess weight that he was carrying, and it DID CURE HIM of his habit of stealing other people's food out of the fridge.

Response by Cpl Marshall Roberts made Aug 21 at 2021 4:50 PM

2021-08-21T16:50:02-04:00

Send someone to supply for grid squares, a muzzle brake for a 105, fording kit for a pinto, physiological sit up was the best of all the 1's I seen

Response by 1SG James Kelly made Aug 21 at 2021 8:31 PM

2021-08-21T20:31:46-04:00

A few; but I'd need to be sitting down with a few beers in the ready rack.

Response by SSG John Craig made Aug 21 at 2021 11:52 PM

2021-08-21T23:52:28-04:00

We were doing SRP getting ready to deploy to Iraq. The new butterbar in the company was in line in front of me. I tapped him on his shoulder and told him "Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice that your rank is upside down. You might want to fix that before the BN CDR sees it." The LT says Thank You SGT." and then pulls the velcro rank off of his chest and rotates it 180 degrees and puts it back on. After the 2LT turned back around, the PV2 behind me in line asked me "SGT, how could you tell the LT's rank was upside down"? I told him "if and when you reach my rank, you'll know." I don't know which part was funnier: the 2LT removing and replacing his rank, or the PV2 asking me How I could tell the LT's rank was upside down.

Response by MSgt Don Dobbs made Aug 22 at 2021 11:36 AM

2021-08-22T11:36:14-04:00

Our favorite trick as a Military Training Instructor MTI was to reverse the hat brass on a new MTI's campaign hat. The new MTI would usually go most of the day with his campaign hat on backwards. Several went to supply to get a different size hat and usually they would then discover that the brass had been re-positioned. Another trick was to move their trainees to a different location or take them back to their barracks. The new MTI would be looking for their trainees for a while.

Response by SPC James Nokes made Aug 22 at 2021 1:57 PM

2021-08-22T13:57:13-04:00

Too many to think of just one, but one that comes to mind was that nasty Blue Falcon who refused to bathe regularly.
One night (did I mention he had as much body hair as the fabled Chewbacca?), He (again) didn't bathe, and the smell was downright putrid.
He had a habit of falling asleep on his back, with that carpet exposed.
One of our platoon had this can of fractured and somewhat dried up kiwi.
Private Falcon had fallen asleep with a hand out, palm up.
Our hero donated a rather largish crust of that black kiwi to the cause, and placed it in Pvt Falcon's outstretched hand.
Someone else went in, and tickled Pvt. Falcon's chest hair.
The result was magnificent, as he smooshed the entire chunk into his chest hair.
It didn't take long before he felt it cooling and contracting in his chest hair.
I forget how long it took him to wash that stuff off, but he was never late to the showers again, lol

Response by SGT Jonathan Persons made Aug 23 at 2021 9:09 AM

2021-08-23T09:09:03-04:00

This one actually got a little out of control.

Young private new to the unit opened the door to the arms room and just walked in to get his weapon, and the armorer just about had a stroke. He decided to send this kid to the unit next door to get a box of blank adapters for an M-203. Fast forward several hours, and we get a visit from division, where the kid was trying to get access to the SCIF after people had sent him all over the post and he ended up at division HQ.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Aug 23 at 2021 10:46 AM

2021-08-23T10:46:07-04:00

I was in the field training with my unit during tech school and the guys decided to get Duct Tape, rope/Paracord, use the shovel to dig a hole and tied a guy to the bunk with rope AND paracord then put him in the hole and al when he was asleep. Well in the morning, the DS and everyone is cracking up when found in a hole perfectly dug and he was tied up: bound AND gagged.

Response by SPC Woody Bullard made Aug 23 at 2021 12:54 PM

2021-08-23T12:54:17-04:00

We had a new guy arrival straight out of MP AIT in our barracks squad bay.
One of our SP/4s decided it would be fun to make himself a 1st Lieutenant.
He had the Lt. rank and placed it on his olive drab green fatigues.
He had our new guy arrival standing at attention as he inspected his
wall locker and foot locker. Most of the veteran MPs thought this was
a good way to introduce our new MP arrival to the 558th squad bay.
Did not end well for our SP/4 wanna be 1st Lt. joker as he wound up
in our 1st Sergeant's office standing in front of Top. Someone turned
him in for wearing the rank of a Commissioned Officer during the prank.

Response by SPC Cory Thomson made Aug 23 at 2021 3:16 PM

2021-08-23T15:16:17-04:00

On fire watch taking everyone’s combo lock that was left open and locking them together in a giant mess and leaving it in the kill zone.

Response by SPC Cory Thomson made Aug 23 at 2021 3:21 PM

2021-08-23T15:21:29-04:00

One of the best I saw I was on guard duty at the front gate of our FTX and I saw the first Sgt walk up and he asked me who was in the 50 cal pit I told him my squad Sgt any two others. He then low crawled into the pit with a stealth and determination like he was escaping from prison, and preceded to take all their riffles while they were sleeping. He came out and told me to tell them when they woke up to go see him. By far one of the funniest things I’ve seen.

Response by SPC Cory Thomson made Aug 23 at 2021 4:04 PM

2021-08-23T16:04:29-04:00

The absolute greatest joke I ever saw was one that was so elaborate and long in the planning and best part was they guy never got to see the pay off. Spc Winfree was the class clown of the battalion, he would get drunk and put his empty bottles on your door so that in the morning when you turned the handle to go out to pt they would fall off and break. He would run up and down the hallway shooting the fire extinguisher at the doors inevitably getting someone who opened the door to see what was going on. One time he loosened every single bolt on our 5 story cement stairway handrail so that the first person to touch it set off a domino effect that hurt your ears it was so loud. BUT by far his greatest trick was when he was PCSing and we were going to Kuwait and Iraq. He took his roommates canteen from his non dominant side and put a toy that grows when you place it in water, this one being a giant stegosaurus, placed it back in his stuff and told nobody. A week into Kuwait we’re filling sandbags and his roommate goes through his main canteen and opened up his spare to take a drink paused for a second and throws in down and started hitting it with his shovel, we all go to see what happened and he said something got in my canteen, we peek in and the red eyes and spiney back of a stegosaurus is looking out at us. That’s when he started cussing “fucking winfree!” He saw him with them before he left and knew it was him. In the end he had to cut his canteen open to get it out, because it was too big and never failed to curse his name every time someone would retell the story to a newbie. We all laughed so flipping heard even first Sgt was wiping his eyes from it. God bless spc winfree. I’ve never seen anyone get busted down work back up and get busted down again so many times.

Response by PO1 John Jones made Aug 23 at 2021 4:16 PM

2021-08-23T16:16:19-04:00

We received a new XO on board our Submarine. Our Captain was the Prankster of the boat. I was the Auxiliarymen of the Watch when the Captain ordered me to cut off the hot water to the Officers shower. So underneath the Helmsmen feet was the access to the valves. You could hear him scream all the way Aft!!! The XO comes to the control room and the Captain says, "Yea I forgot to tell you about that little snafu with the Hot Water" Then while he had the Con, i took his door off and hide it in the engine room for a day. We called it PMS Door closures. Not Amused......

Response by SGT Mitchell Peterson made Aug 24 at 2021 12:15 AM

2021-08-24T00:15:36-04:00

At JRTC, we were attached to an Apache unit as support. The game hadn't started for us yet, so we were bored as hell. A buddy and I loaded up a 3 liter soda bottle with a bunch of MRE heaters, and slipped it under the 64 guys TOC. We thought it was a dud, but the extra large capacity gave us a LOT of time to get away. What seemed like Several minutes later, we hear it go off. BOOM! The radio traffic came alive, and they launched 2 Apache's thinking the Cadre were starting the game. Our old CO was one of the cadre there. He thought it was hilarious, and shared our story to the TOC. They weren't happy they were played by Enlisted guys.

Response by CPT Ronald Barker made Aug 24 at 2021 8:21 AM

2021-08-24T08:21:21-04:00

In 1971, the new butter-bar was ME. Our Honest John artillery unit was going to the Grafenwoehr practice area for my first time, and my comms platoon decided to give me a serious initiation. Coming in on a wet day in an open jeep, my lead NCO, SFC Wallace, insisted that the only way in was on the tank trails. He drove me around at high speed through the muddy puddles for about thirty minutes, completely coating everything--the jeep, SFC Wallace, and me. It seemed like the whole battalion was waiting when we arrived, and I knew I'd been had. It took me a long time to live that one down!

Response by GySgt Brian Shook made Aug 24 at 2021 3:12 PM

2021-08-24T15:12:04-04:00

Our shop had a running battle of pranks. One of the funniest was when one of our guys left his Subway sandwich unattended. One of the other guys opened it up carefully and slipped in a slice of white paper over the lettuce and then re-wrapped it. The best was the look on the guys face after a couple of bites. "This meat is tough!", haha. He finally unwrapped it and found the paper. We all had a good laugh!

Response by PO1 Gary Warner made Aug 25 at 2021 5:56 PM

2021-08-25T17:56:04-04:00

I was told this by a Senior Chief (E-8) that back in the 70's maybe, they had one of the first Women Officers in Charge of the WX det with all the rest males. Well they had a uniform inspection and everyone stuff socks (yes sssss) down their pants. When she came out, they did the salute, present command. When she came to the first person, she looked down, eyes got big and then looked down the line. She turned red in the face with a smile and told the Chief that inspection is done and everyone got an outstanding. Could not do that now days because someone would take it the wrong way and not as a joke.

Response by MSG Ramon Figueroa made Aug 26 at 2021 11:54 AM

2021-08-26T11:54:03-04:00

A can of kippers snacks under the chair of the Supply officer, she emptied the trash can sta back down and thought it was her body odors until she was told about the prank. Can anyone top this one?

Response by PO2 Steve Tindall made Aug 26 at 2021 9:13 PM

2021-08-26T21:13:23-04:00

The best prank in uniform In ever DID was me and my buddy Peebles( yes thats his real name) decided to have a little fun with some of the Marines on board.
Prank 1. Go into the Marine Berthing area where they're 90% SIQ because they're all sea sick and start swabbing the deck like we were there to help keep the place clean and have the most disgusting conversations possible about the nastiest cheesiest most foul smelling tail we ever screwed. That got a few of the lite weights to throw up, then we started rembering the songs we used to as kids so we both started singing the "greasu Grimey Gopher Guts" Song. You all know the one with Mutilated Monkey Meat. That got a few more to toss their cookies right over the side of their racks because they couldn't make it to their head in time.

Prank2. Peebles and I stood by a locked fan room and acted like we were waiting for it to open. A marine fell in behind and then another. We both acted like we had to go but didn't want to with phrases liek "this place is gonna open in 10 minutes or so. "Dude we can't be late or Cheif will use our balls as a speed bag" etc etc so when another marine fell in behind the first one we left. We came back 20 minutes later to 15 marines waiting for an empty Fan room to be unlocked.

Prank 3 Some young not even fully graduated "O-ci-ffer" type was coming on board the ship for the last leg of our cruise and Pebbles and I were dressed in Civies headed out for liberty. He saw us request permission to leave but before the OOD could grant that permission he chimes in that he was an O-ci-ffer and reporting on board and told us to take his bags to his state room. Then proceeded to walk away to report. Peebles and I looked at each other and he asked me Who was that. I smiled a big Ol Carolina Redneck grin and told my dear buddy "peebles, didn't you recognize the famous Oss-i-fer Davey Jones!" Peebles matched my grin, which wasn't bad for a Jersey yankee and we proceeded to throw Officer Davery Joine's gear into his locker. Fortunatly the kid wasn't a dumb as he looked because all his luggage floated. The O.O.D gave us permission to depart with a straighht face which is more than can be said for the M.A.A. cause that poor guy was cracking up hard. I think he still cracked a smile whenever he saw us on the mess decks.

Those are some of my best pranks that ddin't involved nudity. I'll always miss The Kearsarge.

Response by SSG Mark Lawless made Aug 26 at 2021 11:04 PM

2021-08-26T23:04:32-04:00

Sometime round 1981, we had an equipment formation after returning from the field in Germany to check that we had everything cleaned up. One of our E7's decided it would be funny to take the mask-to-mouth breathing tube our of his mask carrier. He unbuttoned one fly button on his BDU pants and inserted it until it would dangle out like a 12" ... johnson. The LT was checking everyone from the top down and when "SHE" saw it. She just stood then for several seconds, staring, and blushing. Then without missing a beat went to the next person. It was everything we could to keep a straight face. Until we were dismissed, at least. Then we were rolling with laughter.

Response by SPC Rob Henkel made Aug 27 at 2021 11:51 AM

2021-08-27T11:51:02-04:00

Ours was something that we did for ALL new soldiers (Combat Engineer Unit in 3rd Cav @ Ft Bliss). We would take the final drive gear from an M-80 tank (This gear is about 3 feet in diameter, 1-1/2 inches thick and weighs about 90 pounds) and have him carry it all the way to the front gate of the motor pool under the guise that it is a special tool that Sgt. XXX needs. Once there, Sgt XXX would send him back saying, “I told him that I was working on it in the bay!” And then send him back to the bldg. We would send him back again, and back, until he finally got the balls to ask what the hell was going on - and then welcome him to the unit. After that is was the same that I am sure everyone does… send him out for a box of grid squares, a gallon of prop wash, a can of ground guides, etc.

Response by SPC George Keller made Aug 27 at 2021 3:46 PM

2021-08-27T15:46:14-04:00

CW4 pilot who was a complete a$$ was in the port-a-pot and a CW3 went up and started shaking it. CW4 was furious because is butt was not covering the hole anymore and his LBE fell in the hole. 9mm, canteens, everything was blue. He just started dumping 5 gallon water jugs on it. Couldn't have happened to a better person.

Response by Sgt Wayne Horton made Aug 28 at 2021 5:16 PM

2021-08-28T17:16:47-04:00

go find a st-1

Response by Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis made Aug 28 at 2021 8:27 PM

2021-08-28T20:27:53-04:00

As a cadet, my AFROTC Detachment went on site visits. During one such visit, we did an overnight at Ft. Mede; the accommodations was an open bay barrack. At the end of the bay were rooms for the cadre (TI's, etc.) where there were a couple of beds; I snagged one. A number of my classmates were not very happy about that (poor babies).

That night I noticed that my bed was very neatly made, with crisp corners & etc. I never make the bed that neat, and suspected something. Sure enough, I was short-sheeted, and so I mitigated the situation and hopped into bed. Not too long after, one of my "friends" poked his head in and looked right at me. I know who he was and who his friends were. The next day, there were a couple of hours free. I knew in which of the bunks these folks slept.

So, I had their beds very neatly made, with crisp corners & etc.... (None of them were short sheeted.)

Response by LCpl Kristin Reagan made Aug 29 at 2021 1:14 PM

2021-08-29T13:14:43-04:00

Kool-aid powder in the shower head, or edge dressing on the bare feet of someone passed out...

Response by COL Don Hall made Aug 29 at 2021 3:41 PM

2021-08-29T15:41:03-04:00

We were doing an ARTEP of the 16th MASH out of Fort Riley in August 1987. One of my sergeants had caught a garter snake, and we had a cooperative specialist who was a simulated patient. So we moulaged her hand to look like she had received a snake bite between her thumb and forefinger, then had her put the snake in the cargo pocket of her BDUs and transported her to the MASH. They brought her into the receiving room, and they started their triage process. Everything went fine until they asked her if she knew what type of snake it was. At which point she replied "no, but I have it right here," and proceeded to pull a *LIVE SNAKE* out of her pocket in the emergency room tent. I have a picture I snapped exactly when she did it of all the ER staff recoilng it horror--it's great. The ER doc, to his credit, quickly recovered, calmly took the snake and handed it to one of his medics and said "would you please take this out of here?" and then continued with his assessment . . .

Response by SFC William Allen made Aug 30 at 2021 10:03 PM

2021-08-30T22:03:11-04:00

I'm going to post another one- In the artillery we had a rubber eye cup on the pantel-Panormaic Telescope. we would put shoe polish on it and get young Lt's to take a look. The ultimate goal was to get the person to use both eyes! We called it a Petey named after Pete the dog in the Little Rascals. when both eyes where had- a double Petey!

Response by SP5 Philip Sanders made Sep 15 at 2021 6:40 PM

2021-09-15T18:40:09-04:00

Except for basic I was stationed with a guy in the Philippines, Texas, and Nam, so I knew him pretty well. When we were in Phu Bai at the 8th RRFS aka ASA. The was a 3 or 4 star that came for a command visit. While there he put his cover on a rack outside the comm center which my friend thought was too good to pass up. Yes, he grabbed the cover with stars and all and kept it. There was never any mention about this “incident” so no one got any disciplinary action. But I thought it was one of the funniest things I ever heard about during my 4 years with ASA. The perps nickname was, “Byrd” but I will never reveal his real name.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 19 at 2021 6:42 PM

2021-09-19T18:42:12-04:00

I remember during a training exercise where we were supposed to be training on house-to-house and close-quarters combat, one of the cadre put KY jelly on all the doorknobs. As we're all gathered around trying to open the doors, simulated explosions and blanks are being fired at us, further adding to the stress.

At the after-action review, he told us why none of us could open the door.

Response by LCpl Robert Burke made Sep 25 at 2021 2:36 PM

2021-09-25T14:36:01-04:00

Ses like every newbie at Danang Air Base was sent to get a" bucket of backblast" I'm sure the Air wing guys either laughed at it or got tired of hearing it all the time.

Response by Lt Col George C. made Sep 25 at 2021 8:36 PM

2021-09-25T20:36:43-04:00

Had an E5 who worked for me who was due to PCS. He had performed well and his SNCO and I submitted him for a Commendation Medal. This was before word processors so we had to type the presentation certificate, with the narrative perfectly centered, and absolutely no errors and no corrections allowed. As you might well guess, this took several tries so we had several certificates that didn't meet muster before we got one right. Okay, submitted package, got it approved, medal awarded and certificate presented at Commander's Call. Afterward, we had a small reception with cake and coffee at the office. My E5 had placed his fancy new certificate front and center on his desk and was enjoying cake. Asked my SNCO to get him away from his desk for a moment and while he was gone, switched his "good" certificate with one of our earlier tries. He comes back to office and is admiring his certificate when I come in with a sloppy dripping wet cup of coffee and casually set it right in the middle of that certificate. Here, man, I brought you some coffee for that cake. I thought he was going to go apoplectic on us.

Response by SSG Joseph Branham made Oct 28 at 2021 2:57 PM

2021-10-28T14:57:24-04:00

Back in 1969 we had a 2LT as company commander. He would just grab his paperwork and sign most of it without reading them. One day the 1SG slipped a piece in his stack giving everyone the day off next day. When no one showed up for work the next day.......well he learned a lesson. I have to admit that he was a great officer and made BG. His name......Daniel A. Doughtery. I saw him again in Viet Nam as he worked in the head shed.

Response by PO2 Charles Johnson made Oct 28 at 2021 6:19 PM

2021-10-28T18:19:35-04:00

We would get a lot of FNGs at the 1st LT Division and if they had no skills they got to push a mower or some other sXXX job. We would tell the next victim that if they passed the carpenters test they wouldn't have to push a mower.
Step One Show that you could sharpen a tool(hatchett)
Step Two Draw a two foot circle on a piece of plywood
Step Three Get Blindfolded (ill Hold your cover;-) )
Step Four twenty blindfolded Wacks of the Hatchett on the board
Step Four and a half I throw your cover on the board as you chop it to pieces
Step Five the big reveal of the results of your carpenter test

Response by PO2 Charles Johnson made Oct 28 at 2021 6:33 PM

2021-10-28T18:33:40-04:00

My supervisor and the master chief over him were to lazy to read special request chits they would just sign them. The Iranians took our hostages in 79 and Jimmy Carter wasn't doing a thing about it. I put in a special request chit to "Go to Iran and in the great American Spirit kick some AXX" Pappy and the Master Chief just signed off on it and sent it up the chain of command. I had forgotten about it until Pappy (supposedly the oldest CB in the Navy) called me into his office, he told me that the skipper(a Capt that didn't like me already wanted to see me regarding my request, ugh everyone got an Axx chewing the Skipper played the Sea Uncle and told me he was pissed too. Pappy and the MCPO got reamed for not reading the special request chit. They were not amused

Response by PO2 Charles Johnson made Oct 28 at 2021 6:37 PM

2021-10-28T18:37:28-04:00

Lean the refrigerator in the commons of your quad in the barracks against some poor SOBs door bang on the door and when they open it the refrigerator falls on them......just saying

Response by SSgt Michael Hacker made Oct 28 at 2021 8:58 PM

2021-10-28T20:58:52-04:00

We (one of us... won't say who) tagged the Commanding General when he came overseas to inspect the unit. It was hilarious watching a full-bird chasing after him, trying to remove it without the General noticing. Once he did, he almost looked proud and said, "Ah, they got me."

Response by SSG Russell Moon made Oct 28 at 2021 9:36 PM

2021-10-28T21:36:53-04:00

Being my units IMO, I would do things like flip computer screens (CTRL+ALT+Up Arrow, few people knew about that) when Soldiers left their CAC card unattended in their keyboard. Had 2 female Sergeants: one an Alabama fan, the other LSU. The Alabama one left her card in and the LSU one asked me to change her desktop picture to an LSU player who had made Sportscenter (some punter). It was reversed the very next week when the LSU fan got a picture of Bear Bryant on her desktop. Eventually I got both of them at different times by putting a picture of Joe Paterno on theirs.

Response by PO3 Jim Longley made Oct 28 at 2021 9:45 PM

2021-10-28T21:45:08-04:00

New aboard the ship, but already been in for 8 months, I got sent for a bucket of steam. I grabbed a bucket and headed over to the ice cream stand on Pier 1 in Newport. Got a chunk of dry ice, put it in he bucket, a little water, and covered it with a towel and returned the "steaming" bucket to the perpetrator.

Response by PO2 Joan MacNeill made Oct 28 at 2021 11:29 PM

2021-10-28T23:29:14-04:00

(I got cyber-screwed. I started this post and it posted right at the start. I couldn't get rid of it, so now I'm just explaining why there's a pointless post on the board.)

Response by PO2 Joan MacNeill made Oct 28 at 2021 11:52 PM

2021-10-28T23:52:45-04:00

Here's some:
1. A cast cutter looks like a Moto-Tool with a little circular saw, but it just rotates back and forth, chews through plaster but doesn't harm skin. We had one in the shop to fix, and when a new guy came in, he got an unexpected demonstration on his forearm. No pain, but very frightening. Seemed hilarious at the time, but now I think it was cruel.
2. On watch in maneuvering room during submerged ops playing catch-me with surface forces, my sneaker-clad foot slipped on the linoleum, squeaked. The other controllerman thought it was a sonar interphone ping telling us we were detected. So I did it a few more times, just to watch his concern. It was amusing, but he was a nice guy, so I finally fessed up.
3. This surface ship I served on had a supply department, with a storeroom and clerks. We presented requisitions and got parts. One of the guys in our shop said he wished we could requisition 8 hours sleep. So I filled out the form, got our division officer to sign it amidst a bunch of others, and sent a man down to pick it up. The clerk couldn't find it, and got really puzzled, and our div officer just smiled when it got back to him.
4. In the early days of nuclear power prototype operation in the Idaho desert, the locals were proud that it was in their turf, but a little concerned about the mystery of radiation. Once, when there was a huge upswing in the desert's rabbit population, some of the crew of a Navy prototype captured plenty of them, spray-painted them wild colors, and let them loose. There was a major panic about the radioactive rabbits being seen in the desert.

Response by SFC Ernie Lowery made Oct 29 at 2021 12:01 AM

2021-10-29T00:01:00-04:00

At a military junior college, some of the staff sent the MS4 students to find feathers for a machine- gun nest. A couple of the students went to a chicken ranch, filled several pillow coverings with feathers, then hurried to their rooms only to learn: Nope. Wrong color.

Response by PO2 Joan MacNeill made Oct 29 at 2021 12:49 AM

2021-10-29T00:49:09-04:00

It eventually became well known that a test for trainees at the prototype nuclear reactor, was to put a tiny piece of paper between the contacts of a switch, so when it was supposed to close a circuit, it wouldn't. He was supposed to respond to the resultant problem, and it tested his troubleshooting. Later, aboard ship, I was called to the reactor control console to fix a non-starting auxillary pump. When I traced the circuit with my meter, I found an open stop switch, which usually sits closed until pushed. I told the operator to push the stop button and try again. It worked. My offer to inspect the switch was declined. I still wonder if that hoary old trick was tried on me...

Response by SPC Karen Coyle made Oct 29 at 2021 7:09 AM

2021-10-29T07:09:13-04:00

After graduating from cartography school in Ft Belvoir, VA. I was sent to Fort Bragg 82nd Airborne Engineers. (The Chairborne Rangers) The first day the two of us newbies were sent to supply to get cloud eradicator for the aerial photography. You can't eradicate clouds from photos. We felt dumb but took it in stride. It was always fun to see the next ones sent. It was a silly experience that pulled everyone together and lessened the stress for a couple of 18 year old's on their first duty assignment.

Response by MAJ Hugh Blanchard made Oct 29 at 2021 10:23 AM

2021-10-29T10:23:09-04:00

A not-well liked soldier was leaving the unit in Korea and heading to CONUS. He had not made a lot of friends due to his method of operating his supply room. I still don't know who did this. Someone called a certain number and told the drug police that he was carrying internally. We later received an email from the soldier complaining that on arrival in LA he had been subjected to "enhanced customs inspection" including a body cavity search. Ugghh...

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Oct 29 at 2021 10:24 AM

2021-10-29T10:24:57-04:00

Just before the BDUs came out, the men wore permanent press green fatigues in the Army. The women wore all cotton fatigues with a pocket on the left arm & pants with no pockets on the behind. I was in AIT learning Morse Code. Students sat at booths with headphones & the instructors sat in a a control room looking out at us. One of our crazy guys said they never really pay attention to us. He was going to prove it. He borrowed a set of female fatigues. Put his name tag on it & the right rank. Come Monday morning he shows up to first formation in the female fatigues. We got our 30 minutes to go to the DFAC before classes. While in there, one of the cooks was checking his butt out & then got freaked out when the prankster turned around turned around. We were all dying laughing. We get to our classes & sure enough, the instructors never notice. They know something isn't right but they can't figure it out. At lunch time, the prankster changed back into his male uniform. When he returned to class, the instructors figured out what he did. He got an Article 15 for it but he was proud of what he had done.

Response by SFC William Linnell made Oct 29 at 2021 12:33 PM

2021-10-29T12:33:07-04:00

OH the SSG TC'sMY!!! Where do I start?? This one is the initiation for Butterbars on the tank. First round down range is assisted with his headgear, ie: beret or patrol cap. :)

Shooting tank gunnery at Hood, summer, hot and dusty as hell. Up in the range tower the SSG TCs and PSGs were there evaluating the crews when I noticed my Loader walking by. And he's carrying the water bottle from the gunners station. Now this Soldier came to me from Korea, 5'6 and 265lbs. It was a good 1/8 of a mile from boresite line to the mechanics. He disappears behind the trees. Then he come walking back thru, bottle empty. I asked my PSG what was going on with Chunk? He sent him on the task of getting TIS coolant to the TIS system. TIS = Thermal Imaging System. There's no such thing. Guess you had to be there. It's a tanker thing.

New Pvt in the PLT. Sent him down with a tire pressure gauge sheets of paper of each tank with lines drawn to each road wheel to write the PSI on. We lost track of time and thinking he'd be back within a half hr. So we (SPC & below) went searching for him. We found him under one of the tanks hiding and afraid. He didn't want to come back bc he couldn't find the valve stems to check the PSI. Oppps.

We had a SGT being promoted to SSG in Graf. After being pinned, the CO put him in the front leaning rest and started knocking them out. Well, a bunch of the other SSG's snuck up with 2 full cans of garbage from the Mess Hall and dumped it on him. OH MY.....it reeked!!! The new SSG bulldogged them and dragged them into the pile of stench. Great laugh.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2021 12:38 PM

2021-10-29T12:38:55-04:00

My roommate would tie all my boots and shoes together and tie them to the bunk. He once filled my PT shoes with dippity-do hair gel. I sewed the fly shut on all his boxers and once sewed the legs and sleeves shut on all of his cammies.

One time, when we were doing "base duty" (we would do a month of driving officers around, raising and lowering colors, any funerals, chasing prisoners to the brig or d-cell, etc.) we had a canoe boat 2LT who was a total prick. He would stand in front of the formation and berate everyone, while pacing back and forth and cleaning his sunglasses. One of us got ahold of his cleaning cloth and sprayed it with mace. Every time he put his glasses on, it would make his eyes water. My Gunny would put a little tissue paper inside his dress blues cover band, every night. Making his cover smaller and smaller. On the last day he pulled all the tissue paper out. The 2LT's cover damn near hit his shoulders, it was so big.

Response by 1stSgt Dan Boone made Oct 29 at 2021 1:35 PM

2021-10-29T13:35:18-04:00

(Part 2 of 2)
One day he came down downstairs and found his beloved beetle to be MIA. Since the Fang Gang shop was close by he came storming to see if any of us... I mean THEM had seen anything. In particular, he was looking for me since I was acting NCOIC at the time. Well, his "storming in" changed to, what could only be described as, "shock & awe" when he stepped into the line shack on that cold winter morning and came face to face with the tail lights of his beetle as it sat in the middle of the floor with Marines sitting around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes (yes, we used to actually smoke inside in those days) as if nothing unusual was going on.
"Good morning SgtMaj." "Can we help you SgtMaj?" "What brings down here SgtMaj?"
Let's just say that the non-PC, colorful metaphors and expletives that he unleashed that morning turned the very air a nice shade of Navy blue.
It seems that some stalwart, mischievous, wrench-turners had decided that they would simply pick up the SgtMaj's car, bring it up two steps, and put it in the middle of the line shack.
After he settled down just a tiny bit, shouts of "welcome to the squadron SgtMaj" could be heard from everyone in the shack as well as those who had gathered outside to watch the explosion, followed by boisterous laughter as the wind was taken completely out of the SgtMaj's sails.
Being the respectful Marines that they were, they offered to pick up his beetle and take it back down the steps and place it on the hardtop for him.
How I wish I had a photograph of his face.
Sadly, after that, we couldn't get rid of him. The SgtMaj decided that his "secondary" office would be in the line shack keeping a good-natured eye on "that bunch of hooligans that stole my bug".
At least that's the way I heard it!

Response by 1stSgt Dan Boone made Oct 29 at 2021 1:36 PM

2021-10-29T13:36:42-04:00

(Part 1 of 2)
I will neither confirm nor deny my direct involvement with this, but I remember waaaay back in 1974, there was a group of Marines that I have specific knowledge of, who called themselves "The Fang Gang". They were a maintenance division for a Cobra squadron on the east coast. Our... I mean THEIR line shack was a small prefab building in the back of the hangar just off of the aircraft ramp and they were known for... ummmm... "shenanigans" from time to time.
Well, the squadron had also just recently had a new SgtMaj assigned who had never been in the aviation arm of the Marine Corps. The SgtMaj drove a faded yellow 1968 VW bug and he had a tendency to park his bug near our... I mean THEIR maintenance shack instead of in his reserved space out in front of the hangar.

Response by MAJ Steve Warnerski made Oct 29 at 2021 6:51 PM

2021-10-29T18:51:13-04:00

The Lieutenants in my Battalion would call the orderly room of another company, identify themselves as the Battalion Commanders assistant, and state the Battalion CDR wanted to see Lieutenant "X" in his office. The message would be passed, Lieutenant "X" would go to BN HQ, knock on the BN CDRs door, and state "Sir, you wanted to see me?" BN CDR would state "No...why would I want to see you?" An interesting sequence of events...

Response by MAJ Steve Warnerski made Oct 29 at 2021 6:51 PM

2021-10-29T18:51:54-04:00

Response by SSgt Tom Neven made Oct 30 at 2021 10:20 AM

2021-10-30T10:20:44-04:00

Someone snuck into the provost marshal's office and switched out the national anthem tape for morning colors and put in a Led Zeppelin tape.

Response by CMDCM Kermit Cain made Oct 31 at 2021 12:41 AM

2021-10-31T00:41:04-04:00

I was the LCPO (Leading Chief Petty Officer) on staff and when we deployed we supplemented the staff with TAD personnel from our battle group. Since I had access to service records I instructed all the staff members to begin making statements concerning how much one of our TAD workers looked like me, not all at once but over a period of four months or so -. Eventually one evening we got around to "sea stories" about our previously lives and I told a story about how I used to ride shotgun on a delivery truck while I was in high school. Named this man's town, the street (lived on Oak St. I said Maple St. (which actually made it more believable)) he lived in, etc. and stated the year I was doing this. OBVIOUSLY I talked about how this housewife would invite me in and as a 16 year I was introduced to the adult Disneyland. By this time he'd turned white and was freaking out, only let it go on for about two more minutes and then told him he'd been set up for the last four months. More mature now and I kind of regret just how freaked out he became. But at the time, in the Gulf was just something you did to your shipmates.

Response by MSgt John Taylor made Oct 31 at 2021 8:06 PM

2021-10-31T20:06:31-04:00

We had a flightline Expediter that kept giving a particular E-2 a hard time on a daily basis. The E-2 in retaliation, shoved sardines in the vents of the E-6's GOV (Van.) The E-6 never could find the source of the smell and was so impressed with the young Airman's response, that he left him alone. The rest of us opted to walk everywhere instead of riding with the Expediter.

Response by Maj Martin Smith made Nov 2 at 2021 11:09 AM

2021-11-02T11:09:02-04:00

At Myrtle Beach AFB the new guy in fuels was always sent out to the end of the taxiway to wait for the arrival of the GU ll. After about 15 minutes on the radio saying 'it's not here' and the dispatcher saying 'I can see it from here', it finally dawned on the new refueler that the GU ll was really a gull like in seagull.

Response by PO1 Robert Wikert made Nov 6 at 2021 3:07 PM

2021-11-06T15:07:41-04:00

Every Friday morning when I was stationed in Jax Fl. we would have a field day followed by a zone inspection done by our OIC. In his office he had a small head including a sink. His yeoman was responsible for the cleaning of the area, and decided to have a little fun with his boss one Friday. He left a Baby Ruth candy bar in the sink and of course when the LCDR saw it there, he totally flipped out, assuming of course, that it was a turd. As he started blasting the "poor" PO3, the young lad snatched it up saying "I'll take care of it Sir" where upon he immediately took a big bite out of the sweet confection. The look on our OIC's face was priceless...

Response by PO2 John Driskill made Nov 18 at 2021 10:58 PM

2021-11-18T22:58:11-05:00

Back in the old days in the Navy when I was on the USS Lexington was the “Sea Bat” gag. On the fan tail of the ship a couple of enlisted sailors would have a cardboard box with a hole cut in with words “See The Sea Bat.” The victim would get down on the deck to peek into the box. Then one of wags would hit the victim on the ass with a broom and shout “Sea Bat.”

Response by MSgt Jeff Brown made Nov 24 at 2021 11:45 AM

2021-11-24T11:45:37-05:00

I once pranked our civilian secretary. Smoking inside was forbidden by this time, so whenever she was away from her desk, I'd light a match. You could smell it, but of course there was no real smoke. She wandered around all day, asking, "Do you smell smoke?" She was very good natured about it once we told her.

Response by PO3 Kenn Andrus made Nov 28 at 2021 7:14 AM

2021-11-28T07:14:09-05:00

Had another time we sent the new guy out for a water hammer. First stop was Engineering Supply, nope try S-1, and so on through all of the supply divisions. Finally he got to Aviation Supply on the aft hanger deck where they said sure we have one and pointed to a CAT piston secured to the hanger bulkhead. This thing is a good 15 feet long or more and weighs a few hundred pounds. Poor guys comes screaming on back, totally freaked out and saying have you seen the size of that thing. Our response was "Oh no , we don't need that one. We just need a small one." what most people don't realize is that there really is such a thing as a water hammer, ask any plumber and they can tell you.

Response by Sgt Dennis Doty made Nov 28 at 2021 8:01 PM

2021-11-28T20:01:40-05:00

When I checked into a school at NAS JAX after AIT, the duty NCO sent me to the next barracks to ask for 50yards of flight line. The duty NCO there said they'd just used the last of it and sent me to the next barracks. After that one, I figured out that it was a prank and went back to my assigned barracks and told the NCO he was a very funny guy.

Response by Sgt Dennis Doty made Nov 28 at 2021 8:07 PM

2021-11-28T20:07:54-05:00

While stationed at NAS JAX, we had a hotshot pilot who was full of himself and constantly abused his ground crew. One morning, he went out to his F4 and found a dozen red roses in the cockpit. He climbed back down and had a senior maintenance chief go over the bird. The gyro-compass was rewired backwards to indicate a climb when he was in a dive. He treated his crew much better after that.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 29 at 2021 10:18 AM

2021-11-29T10:18:29-05:00

I was a brand new butter bar assigned to a National Guard Armor unit and was learning PMCS on the M1 Abrams, and being the eager young 2LT; i was willing to get my hands dirty and learn. Well they had me sit down and straddle the Wind Sensor and "Warm it up". Needless to say i took me a few seconds of hearing laughter to realize how it LOOKED "warming it up"! I was aware of a lot of "pranks" that may have come down from the Soldiers but they got me on this one!

Response by SPC Lyle Montgomery made Nov 29 at 2021 12:17 PM

2021-11-29T12:17:51-05:00

When I was a grunt in Vietnam I loved dried apricots. I would buy a can of them at the PX while on stand down. If I knew that we would be getting fresh soldiers out in the bush then I would string some apricots on a shoestring and attach them to my belt. When the new guys showed up, The other guys in my squad told them thai I was psycho and that I cut the ears off of dead gooks, which was total bullshit but some of them beleived it. When I took an apricot from my belt and ate it one guy started gagging. In only a few days and they knew that they had been had. It was a harmless prank, no one was hurt and it was fun at 19 years old. As a footnote to this I still called apricots ears when my daughter wea young. She got in trouble in school for calling them ears even though she knew they were apricots.

Response by SCPO Dan Lewis made Dec 3 at 2021 4:28 PM

2021-12-03T16:28:15-05:00

I never liked pranks on new naïve sailors pranked. They deserve our protection and training while they are learning. But pranking an arrogant, self important PO1 is absolutely FAIR GAME!

My favorite prank was "Hey Joe, there is a call for you."
Mack wasn't a bad guy he just didn't want to a be associate with his 85 shipmates on the USS SUNBIRD. Mack had explained that “I’m not really part of this crew. The Squadron Commander sent me to keep an eye on things.”

Long before wireless phones were popular we were three days out, on rough seas, in a little ship. PO1 Mack was conducting mandatory, inter-department, training in the crew's lounge. After Mack said “Mandatory Requirement” for about the fiftieth time we were blessed with an interruption: HTCM (E-9) Letchner walked through. The crews lounge was the only below decks route aft to the Dive Locker, Engineering, Salvage, and Supply. Mack “tolerated” the interruption.

Training in our little crew's lounge on the afternoon of our third day at sea wasn't too bad. There were comfortable seats, even if we did have to listen to Mack's "mandatory requirements" lecture. Then Master Chief came back through and without stopping said: "Mack, you've got a phone call at your desk." PO1 Mack bounded out the door saying "I wonder who it could be?"

Fellow Vets:
Most of you have never served in a crew of only 85. But I am sure you understand: a PO1 does not rate a private desk and certainly not one with his own telephone in an office that he has converted to his private stateroom. A STATEROOM for a PO1!?! So, this was not harassment of a raw, fresh, new, boot seaman. This was a comeuppance for a well deserving "SENIOR" Petty Officer.

Mack stayed gone maybe ten minutes. I never knew if he was trying to reestablish the landline connection over 500 miles of sea; or was he too embarrassed to show his face after a very well executed prank. We went back to work.

Response by SSgt Donald Hahn made Dec 13 at 2021 3:42 PM

2021-12-13T15:42:41-05:00

Snow snakes in ND. FNG took the tall tale that I told WAYYY to serious, belly flopped on to the hood of our patrol truck when I yelled his name, snake, jump! Though it was funny as hell. Welcome to the AF SP's.

Response by CPO Christian Simonsen made Dec 16 at 2021 10:14 AM

2021-12-16T10:14:52-05:00

Mail bouy lookout was a common prank. On subs, we used to have the non-quals look for the screen door.

Response by COL Bill Gross made Dec 18 at 2021 3:03 PM

2021-12-18T15:03:58-05:00

Not in military but a similar situation. I worked on the Alaskan Pipeline after I left active duty and completed grad school. Some of the pipe fitters I worked with told of a couple of Cajun Pipe Fitters that had a new apprentice. They sent him on the usual run of useless tasks. One day they were trying to complete fitting up some pipe and found needing a "plumb bob". Told the apprentice to go to the tool rook and ask for said device. Apprentice said, "I'm not going after. No one has ever heard of a "plumb bob."

Response by SFC Dennis Yancy made Dec 19 at 2021 9:49 AM

2021-12-19T09:49:40-05:00

Send newbes to get keys to locking bars on a NikeHerc launcher elevator. Was always interesting to hear what maintenance folks told them.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2021 5:04 PM

2021-12-25T17:04:45-05:00

Bag of A-I-R

10 feet of gigline

Fetching a prick e-eight

Zip tying the zippers on the coveralls

Response by PO3 Larry Burger made Dec 27 at 2021 11:15 AM

2021-12-27T11:15:11-05:00

About my third week aboard the USS Midway, on our way to Westpac. our Department chief asked me to run down to supply to get some additional requisition chits as we had just run out.
You cannot requisition more requisition forms without a requisition. However there might be another way. An infinite number of possible ways. Great way to learn your way around the Midway in rough Seas as every option was the far end of the ship from Upper Deck to lower and everywhere in between. There are supply storerooms everywhere.

Response by SSG Eric Blue made Dec 30 at 2021 2:40 PM

2021-12-30T14:40:56-05:00

I don't know if it "the best", but it's my favorite. I was the Bass Section Leader in the 82nd Airborne Division's All-American Chorus at the time. We had a TV spot on race day at Daytona on the 4th of July this year and family members of our group were invited to come to Florida. My wife was pregnant with my son at the time and watched us sing from the hotel room. When our group arrived back at the hotel, I called her down to the lobby. When she got there, she heard what sounded like me getting chewed out by the platoon sergeant. He blurted out, "DID YOU CLEAR THIS WITH THE DIRECTOR?!?" Then we all formed up and started singing Happy Birthday to my wife since it was her birthday. At first she was like, "F---...was I supposed to witness that?" But once we started singing, my son started dancing around in her belly! We got her good that day. It was pretty cool.

Response by SSgt David Wilkins made Jan 5 at 2022 7:06 PM

2022-01-05T19:06:34-05:00

Late in the year 1979, fresh out of boot camp, I reported to 29 Palms, California, for my first phase MOS/Technical school, but it was delayed starting for a month due to some paperwork issue, so some "genius" assigned me to a supply job (to keep me out of trouble, OOPS). The Staff Sergeant in charge sent me looking for a "sky hook". He gave me a requisition form AND told me not to return without said equipment. The SSgt did not understand that I was a hard charging 19 year old Lance Corporal, with a Genius level IQ, who knew how to get things, and get things done( in or out of channels). It took me 2 days, but I found the "sky hook", and even got it delivered from MCAS El Toro(this was before MCAS El Toro was relocated to 29 Palms). It also came with 2 Generals(CG of El Toro and CG of MCB 29 Palms) wanting to know why some Staff Sergeant in a supply shop needed a crane that is used for moving disabled planes around the runway. Yes, people were very angry, BUT I was never sent on any "Wild Goose Chases" ever again.

Response by SPC Greg Campbell made Jan 14 at 2022 8:07 PM

2022-01-14T20:07:08-05:00

I sent cruits to the mess hall for cherry juice. Had to ask for the mess daddy as he had the only key. Then you had the range fan extension cords, tickets for the troop train....

Response by Maj Gail Lofdahl made Jan 16 at 2022 8:46 PM

2022-01-16T20:46:39-05:00

The ground crew put a phone book on the ejection seat of the (very short) one-star general's F-16. Fortunately, he had a sense of humor.

Response by Cpl Craig Howard made Jan 26 at 2022 11:43 AM

2022-01-26T11:43:08-05:00

When Pilots in our Squadron received their wings and were no longer just a Co-Pilot, there was a hazing of some sort. One LT was wound in Duct Tape by his fellow pilots, and they used a cargo strap to make a loop on his upper back. They picked him up with a Pettybone Crane about 10 feet up, and the Crash Crew brought in a Fire Truck and sprayed him down with Water. They left him up for a while to Drip Dry.

Response by PO3 Andrew Kelly made Feb 18 at 2022 10:18 PM

2022-02-18T22:18:10-05:00

During my time overseas it was SOP to be sent out to a carrier group on deployment in 90-day deployments. Needless to say, there can be a certain amount of personnel turnover while you are deployed. I had just returned from a deployment of 115 days and was just coming off crew's rest when my LPO handed me my first assignment as a CDI and I headed out to one of our birds to oversee the job. Now at the time, we were working under summer work uniform regs which allowed for removal of the dungaree shirt and thus rank insignia on the flight line. I walked up to our bird and stuck my head inside to introduce myself as the CDI for the job. Before I could speak one of our newly transferred PO2s turned to me and thinking I was a newbie, since he did not recognize me, told me it was about time I had gotten there and they were going to need a wire stretcher to make the installation of new wire bundles work right.
One of his crew knew me and was about to inform him of his error but I waved him off since his attitude had annoyed me. I just nodded and headed back to the barn to let the maintenance Chief in on what was going on. (BTW I had just passed my 24-month mark on the base and was extended for another 18 since we always needed experienced people.).
I asked the chief when we needed the bird and was informed that the job we were engaged in was presently low pressure because Powerplants had a phased inspection in work and would be working on that for at least 2 days. I gave him an evil smile and informed him of my plan which earned me a laugh and a nod to proceed.
I checked out a tractor and headed over to visit the Seabees camp.
Now about 4 months earlier the Seabees had gotten tasked with running new razor wire on the base perimeter and had been tearing through gloves like no one's business. One of them who used to be part of my gaming group had gotten himself a commendation for coming up with a solution. They had rigged up a trailer that played out the wire evenly and was fairly easy to load with new rolls. Now enter me with one of our small tractors and ask after my friend. In fairly short order he introduced me to his chief and we explained the situation and my request to borrow their "Wire Stretcher".
Fortunately, my chief was known to his chief and I was soon handed the paperwork to loan the apparatus to our squadron. The Seabee chief did make the requirement that since it was our erstwhile new PO2 who had "requested" the equipment he would like for him to explain to him personally the inventive inspiration for the use he wanted to put their equipment to in solving our problem.
About 20 minutes later I drove my prize out onto the flight line and parked it at the nose of our bird and stuck my head inside and handed my would-be comedian the paperwork for the wire stretcher and passed along the Seabee's wish to consult with him on his use of their equipment. stepped out and unhooked the trailer and returned the tractor to the line shack. I then went back to the shop, put on my shirt, and went back out to reintroduce the team leader to his CDI for his task.
It took him a while to live that down to the point where the Maintenance Officer and Chief would ask him as he headed through the office if he had any new inspirations to offer.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2022 5:16 PM

2022-02-28T17:16:06-05:00

We had a PO1 onboard who's overtly close to his retirement. He would do some petty assignments for his last underway. Chit router PO. P-Way monitor. The guy was a character so as much face-time as he could get in the Pilot house, with chiefs, or crew, he got it. They even had him doing some 1MC announcements. On a particular morning, he was called out on the 1MC. With a special title where his presence was 'respectfully' requested to the bridge, a call designated for commissioned folk. The Conning officer making the announcement at the time could barely hold back his chuckle. Turns out someone in berthing 5 took the time to meticulously sew an extra chevron on his uniforms without PO1 ever noticing. Overnight He went from from three gold chevrons to four gold chevrons, promoted to FCPON. "First Class Petty Officer of the Navy." He rushed out his rack, dressed, grabbed his folder (which everyone knew was always empty), passed the breakfast chow lines, ran through officer's quarters, and up to the bridge. Never a clue why everyone was beaming with joy to see him his whole way up. There he was greeted by the Captain, CMC, and bridge watch standers who had the Boatswains mate announce with pipe & honors of having FCPON aboard the ship!

Response by MAJ Norm Michaels made Mar 30 at 2022 10:32 AM

2022-03-30T10:32:38-04:00

In late 1972, we decided to prank our platoon sergeant. The practice in those days was to have a payday inspection in our dress greens (class As) every month. This one month, we all got together and reversed our ribbons and name plates on our uniforms. Instead of ribbons above our left pocket, we put them above our right. Instead of the name plate above the right pocket it was above the left. Everything was mirror reversed. It was into the the third squad before he figured it out. He was obviously puzzled more and more in ranks one and two. Since we were all wrong, he just became more and more frustrated with that something that was ‘off’.

Response by MAJ Norm Michaels made Mar 30 at 2022 10:44 AM

2022-03-30T10:44:21-04:00

My brother was Naval Air back in the late 1960s. As a young airman, he was given the task of going out to the airfield and recording all inbound only B1-Romeo-Deltas. It took him a good three hours to figure it out.

Response by MAJ Norm Michaels made Mar 30 at 2022 10:59 AM

2022-03-30T10:59:27-04:00

1975 - I was assigned to the 385th Signal Company at Fort Gordon, GA. Fort Gordon is also where The Signal Corps trained their Lieutenants. During their Lieutenant training, they were sent to the field for one week to learn the equipment, hands on. I was a SP5 in those days, and all SP5s were smart alecks. We had TT-76 teletype machines that made or read the paper tapes to send teletype faster than a human could type. We did this prank every time we had to support the Lieutenant training classes. We would ask the second lieutenant to dump the chad bucket out at shift change. Chads are the little dots punched out from the paper tape. The lieutenant would dutifully dump the Chad bucket in the trash, and then we would all stare at him in shock. He would always then say, “what, what, what?” We would then tell him that he didn’t run the bucket through the Chad counter. These chads were classified, and every one of them had to be accounted for. Now he would have to count them by hand, we usually let him get up to near 1,000 before we gave him the break.

Response by SMSgt Michael Gleason made Apr 2 at 2022 3:09 PM

2022-04-02T15:09:58-04:00

(1968:) In my village in Northern South Korea, Tongudcheon (a/k/a Dongducheon), the "Honey Bucket Truck" came around to suck out all of the village "banjos" (outhouses) every Tuesday. Between all of the kimchi and offal, the odor was horrendous! To "warn" everybody that the truck was approaching, the driver would ring a set of bells mounted above the windshield. The "standing prank" was to send all of the soldiers new to the unit into the village to "find the ice cream truck". The American G.I.s, accustomed to Good Humor and other ice cream trucks and their ringing bells (this was before the invention of the annoying electronic music now being played) went eagerly in search thereof, only to be severely disappointed to find the source of the bells! (It was a hoot, though!)

Response by SGT Glen Adkins made Apr 6 at 2022 2:46 AM

2022-04-06T02:46:41-04:00

I was an SP4 standing by a Commanding General's desk. We rigged an incoming phone call. I immediately picked up the phone and said, "XXX Army Headquarters. What the hell do you want!" The look on the General's face was priceless. Thank God he had a sense of humor.

Response by Sgt Dennis Doty made Apr 6 at 2022 1:58 PM

2022-04-06T13:58:39-04:00

When a senior Marine NCO retires, traditionally the command will hold a parade in his honor. The troops form up on the parade deck. The CO gives a short congratulatory speech. The troops march by in formation rendering honors as they pass the podium. The final part of the tradition is that the retiree gets to give one final order which is usually "Dismissed" or "At Ease."
We had a MGySgt at MCAS Yuma have his retirement parade. When it came time for his final order, he stepped to the microphone and said, "Liberty Call!"
Complete chaos and the priceless looks on the faces of the officers.

Response by SSgt Russell Stevens made Apr 11 at 2022 12:52 PM

2022-04-11T12:52:29-04:00

The best prank I pulled was following a discussion between several NCOs from Tactical Air Command and a Lieutenant General. We NCOs were concerned about lack of training and complacency we were seeing during Desert Shield / Desert Storm. He kept denying everything we were trying to bring to light so I made a bet with him. I stated I can ship an empty one gallon can from Saudi Arabia to New Mexico and nobody would seriously look at it and simply ship it.

I preparation I contacted my home unit and my immediate supervisor was happy to take part in my scheme, I also contacted AFOSI to bring them into the loop in case anyone made a Fraud, Waste, and Abuse claim. Then I got a new one gallon fuel can, the kind fuel samples are put in to be tested for engine shavings and that sort of thing. I put on a regular shipping label, and a hazmat certificate (DD 1387-2) for you older vets out there. For a proper shipping name I put on SAILBOAT FUEL, and filled the rest of the spaces with information that didn't exist in the regs. I also tagged it CLASSIFIED - SIGNATURE SERVICE REQUIRED. I also made the shipping documents and DD127 hand receipt for it, the signature service was to get a paper trail of everyone who handled the shipment without consulting any regs.

About a week later this can shows up at Cannon AFB, and I get a notification which I take to the General. First result is I proved the point all the NCOs in that meeting were trying to make, second was Military Airlift Command and Air Force Logistics Command were VERY embarrassed, AFOSI got the idea the entire airlift system had extreme flaws that could lead to smuggling, and HQ USAF soon after required additional training and policies to eliminate the complacency we were seeing. The best result was the Reserve and Guard units supposedly augmenting us were exposed as organizations that were unable to keep up with current policies and many unit commanders ended up being replaced.

Response by TSgt Mario Guajardo made Apr 14 at 2022 12:25 PM

2022-04-14T12:25:38-04:00

I was usually against "pranks" but while I was in a stealth program I sent a new troop to get the aircraft forms from one of our "assets". He came back telling me the hangar was empty.
I immediately did a face palm and told him the "stealth" switch must still be "on". I explained to him that he would have to go back, proceed carefully and find the wing then feel his way forward until he got to the crew ladder then get up to the cockpit and find the the "stealth" toggle switch on the left console. I told him it was larger than the other switches so it could be found under these circumstances as it had happened before.
He dutifully left and 4 or 5 of the techs and myself ran out to the back of that hangar. There were gaps in the hangar doors so we could see inside. He came in and moved slowly forward with his arms extended in front of him. We tried to suppress laughter until we were in tears, especially when he realized the hangar was empty and cursed in imaginative ways. My ribs hurt from laughing and had tears streaming down my face as did the other techs.

Response by SA Michael Moore made Apr 19 at 2022 1:00 AM

2022-04-19T01:00:48-04:00

Noon meal formation was in the foreyard of Bancroft Hall on a beautiful spring Saturday morning. There were many tourists standing back at the gates. The Brigade, with all 24 companies in Service Dress Blues were assembled and reporting attendance to the Brigade Commander. The order came down "Sword ....Salute!" whereupon all Midshipmen Officers bearing swords unsheathed and raised them. Then there began a ripple of chuckles. I covertly looked around and there it was! Some poor Company Commander was saluting with a blood red sword! Some underclassman had painted the blade red and he had failed to check it before formation.

Response by Capt Pat Thomason made May 8 at 2022 9:11 AM

2022-05-08T09:11:22-04:00

When I was flying C-130s, once upon a time we were on a JAATT with some of our fine Army brethren at No-Hope Pope. They had been particularly cantankerous that day, so our loadmasters decided to give them a little payback. The back of a Herk can be an unpleasant place if you're prone to air sickness, which is why the Army usually doesn't like flying low levels with us. As we're bumping along on a low-level, the first loadmaster heats up a can of soup in the oven just out of sight of the paratroopers sitting below the crew stairs, and then pours the contents into a barf bag. He comes down the stairs and begins an animated conversation with the other loadmaster at the back of the aircraft (they were both on headset). After a minute, the first loadmaster leans down to the first paratrooper in the row and says "Can you pass this down to the other loadmaster?", and hands him the barf bag full of warm stuff. They pass the bag down the row, and the troopers are starting to look green. The second loadmaster gets the bag, and they resume their animated conversation that the troopers can't hear over the roar of 4 Allison T-56 turboprops. Finally, the second loadmaster shrugs his shoulders, pulls out his spoon, opens the barf bag, and starts eating. Like a row of falling dominoes, the paratroopers whipped out their barf bags and began a symphony of technicolor yawns. When it was time to jump, if the troopers didn't take their barf bags with them, the loadmasters threw them out the door after them. Good times.

Response by TSgt Robert Wayne made May 16 at 2022 5:13 PM

2022-05-16T17:13:24-04:00

Ok here's a twofer...I was an A1C and our 1st Sgt was visiting. He was wearing his short sleeve blues and I noticed one of his diamond pins was turned and I mentioned it to him. He asked that I straighten it out for him so I went to do that. Then in my mind said screw it and turned the proper one to be messed like the other. A couple days later he came by and saw me...DOH! He said he went to an important meeting like that. Hehehe.

We're firefighters so we tend to prank someone when it's their last shift due to reassignment or retirement. It was winter so one of the guys got a snowball and put it on a towel up in the false ceiling with a coat hanger mostly hid from view directed straight down over his pillow in the bunkroom. By the time he went yo bed the snowball began to melt and the water followed the coat hanger dripping on his head. I could see in the dark him swatting the air. LoL. Good times.

Response by PO2 Gregory Rolland made Jun 3 at 2022 7:19 AM

2022-06-03T07:19:47-04:00

In 1988, during my first month on The USS New Jersey BB-62, my shipmates told me to find and bring back "The Anchor Windless". I searched and searched only to find out it was the mechanism that drops and pulls up the battleships ginormous anchor. They got me!!! Soooo being a Corpsman, I waited 3 months then sent my trusted shipmates on a serious quest to find me some "Fallopian Tubes"--- REAL STORY LOL!!

Response by SPC Ron Salsbury made Jun 3 at 2022 2:40 PM

2022-06-03T14:40:24-04:00

As a prankster, many in my unit learned not to push my buttons, but I had a Platoon Daddy who just had to go the extra mile for me. So as the butt of his prank, I turned the tables on him and loaded his old US Army Issue metal desk with center drawer with a Creamer Catapult. Open center drawer, insert plastic spoon, bend backward, add creamer, push the drawer back in, and wait. As he sat down, he went for a pen in the drawer, pulled it outward towards him, with the spoon flicking the creamer onto his chest and face completely. A quick formation later to determine who the culprit was, I entered his office for discipline, where he asked me to show him how to do it, then off to Tops office we went. Another formation later, Top, my Platoon Daddy and I are off to the Commanders Office, then another formation to the Commanders office to instruct him on how to do the trick, again we are all off to the XO's office for continuation of the fun. You have to love a prank that goes to the top of the chain of Command with good humor intended.

Response by MSgt James "Buck" Buchanan made Jun 4 at 2022 7:41 PM

2022-06-04T19:41:58-04:00

When stationed at Ellsworth AFB, SD in the early 90s, we had a young lady who liked to be the chief prankster. We had a set of 4 drawer cabinets that each individual could keep personal things in. One day, knowing that she was due in at 1500, I went to the flight kitchen and borrowed some Saran wrap (clear plastic stuff). We were able to place it over the interior of her personal drawer in such a way that it was not only a very tight seal but did not reflect light. When she dropped her handbag into her drawer and it bounced back at her she knew that at least for that time she had been bested. It was a good laugh for everybody there.

Response by SSG Gregg Mourizen made Jun 6 at 2022 12:22 AM

2022-06-06T00:22:31-04:00

I was a medical Laboratory technician.
During training we had what was called "Brown Bag Day". You brought your own stool (poop) in a brown bag. LOL other classes thought we gor a lunch for class.
Anyways, a friend of mine squished up a brownie to make it look like a turd.
As everyone pulled out their samples, and started testing, he started talking about the "Taste Test". Of course no one believed him.
Then he reached down and took a bight of the brownie, and grossed out the other students.

Now of course, the instructor was wise to this stund and said "Sgt D*****K, Please! in a snooty annoyed tone.
His response was to reach over to the next guys but and grabbed another sample and bit into it.
The instructor almost lost it, gagging and running off.
Of course the other guy was in on the prank.

Response by PFC Michael Lewis made Jun 22 at 2022 9:00 PM

2022-06-22T21:00:03-04:00

LOL I had to find a 2 inch ground guide

Response by SSG Harry Herres made Jun 30 at 2022 5:46 PM

2022-06-30T17:46:01-04:00

1969- I was an artillery radar instructor. We had to give a two day school to OCS candidates. Most thought they were better than any E-5. If they fell asleep during the class, we would yell out, " oh crap " to get their attention. We would tell that sleepy head to quick go to the CP and get a RF-energy bucket because the radar had a leak. Well off they went running 20 yds. At the CP the E-7 or 8 NCOIC would send them up to the maintenance building to get the bucket and a repairman a 100 yds up a hill. The repairman E-5 or6. Would chuckle and say fell asleep, right. Returning to the training was not easy, but no one fell asleep after that!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 9 at 2022 8:21 AM

2022-08-09T08:21:52-04:00

As a brand new Private, stationed at Fort Lewis, 1-24th Infantry. I spent hours looking, asking, begging, pleading and just damn near looking ridiculous. For a big enough “Range Fan” to blow all the fog off the M4 Qualification Range. So we could “Zero, Qual and beat feet the f+*k outta here!!”

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 9 at 2022 8:32 AM

2022-08-09T08:32:37-04:00

As a brand new Private, Fort Lewis, WA. 2002, 1-24th (Duece Four) I spent “time” looking, begging, asking, pleading and just looking damn near ridiculous. For a big enough “Range Fan” so we could blow all the fog off the M4 Zero/Qualification Range and “Beat feet back to the rear!”

Response by SPC Boyd McFail made Aug 10 at 2022 3:36 AM

2022-08-10T03:36:33-04:00

This was not intended to be a prank, but it was pretty funny non the less.

When I was in basic training (Ft. Lost in the Woods Jan. '71). I was placed on CQ duty for my platoon in the barracks for the day while the rest was out training. Our quarters were on the second floor of the building and there were two corners in the hallway with a set of stairs in the corner and at the end of the one hallway that were our entry points. About halfway down the hall in one direction was another companies quarters with out a door or barrier, just a line painted on the wall. There was noway to keep an eye on both hallways and the doors coming into the area. Plus if you had to go to the head you could not see anything to cover the quarters. Also The First Sargent was known to come by a check on the CQ's trying to catch them not doing their jobs. Since I could not watch both doors from anyone point, I improvised some alarms on the doors. I took two of the garbage cans we had on the floor (the 55gal steel cans with lids) and proper them up against the doors so if the door was open thee can would fall over and make a lot of noise. That way i could get to the door in a hurry.

Well needles to say this was one of the days Top was going to check out the CQ's. So Top opened the door and not only did the alarm work but it worked better than I thought. Not only did it fall over make a big crashing sound, it also chased him down the stairs. All of the noise from this also brought the CO an EXO out of their offices to find out what the hell was going on. They found Top at the bottom of the stairs with this garbage can laying there at the bottom of the stairs. At that point standing at the top of the stairs I thought my shit was pretty weak and all hell was was going to come down on me. That was until the CO and EXO started to laugh. TOP was not to happy but then he started to laugh too. TOP looked up at me and said that, that was one hell of a way to protect the door, and then yell at me say that I need to get down there and get his trash can back to where it needs to be and that I had better not have put a dent in it.

I told the rest of the guys what I had done and they all laughed. TOP got pretty good at catching garbage cans after that.

Response by SFC Otto Ortiz made Aug 10 at 2022 9:59 PM

2022-08-10T21:59:10-04:00

in 1975, we were on a FTX in Germany. i was an Army brat and knew all the tricks and sayings and the real deal. i was a an E-2 at the time and we were putting up a GP medium for the 1SG. Some NCO hollered at me to go find a skyhook to get the tent up. i looked at him and was about to laugh, since i knew what he was doing, i went along with the joke and went on my merry way. i went to visit a friend and went to the mess tent and got a snack and sat down by a large tree. I waited for and hour and a half there and then went back. the tent was up and they loaded the tent with everything. the NCO saw me and started yelling what took so long. i stated there is no such thing as a skyhook unless you want the cargo chopper to come and help with the tent. i told him that i just took a break and figured you did not need me since you sent me off. the guys that were there got a good laugh on the NCO, that NCO was an idiot and no one liked him.

Response by Sgt Mark Spain made Aug 11 at 2022 9:17 AM

2022-08-11T09:17:45-04:00

USAF ~ In basic, me and my buddy were on CQ for our barracks that day. It was a saturday and typically our TI did not come in, just our asst TI and he was out for a bit. We decided to play a joke on this one guy that never could get his rack right, always getting demerits and really causing our squad a ton of extra work....The TI punished the entire squad if anyone messed up. So we told him we were gonna take some pictures of all of us in our dress blues but we secrety had the TI's dress blues he had in his office and got Hofskey to do it. We were taking pics and the TI came in that day. caught all of us red handed. I had never seen Sgt Perez that mad, boy he was pissed

Response by SGT Jon Goldsberry made Aug 12 at 2022 2:10 AM

2022-08-12T02:10:16-04:00

So many to choose from

1sg, platoon Sgt and I Oranjestad another nco that he had came back hot on a piss test. The stuttering and stammering was epic.

At.the TMC. Soldier came in complaining of hemorrhoids. Doc said wait. Went to the back and came back out pulling a vet glove (used on large animals) on up to his shoulder. Soldier left in quite the hurry
Army want names on windshields. We got our done fast. Pvt next to us was struggling. He asked how we did it. We sent him to get the sticky stuff you put on windshields to keep the paint from running. Sent him to the motor Sgt. He sent him to alpha (we were Bravo) who then sent him to Charlie who sent him to the Battalion Motor officer who in turn sent him to the BN XO. Oblivious to this, we were summoned to our orderly room. Once there, Top gave us a look and then marched us across the street to the XO office. We saw Pvt in the office and wondered wtf! We reported and the XO was very upset and asked PVT was in his office looking for SCOTCH TAPE! I almost fell down laughing so hard.

The best jokes take a life of their own!

Response by SGT Fred Flick made Aug 14 at 2022 8:38 AM

2022-08-14T08:38:05-04:00

There's the usual shaving cream on the hand trick sending the new guy to several places looking for something that didn't exist.

Response by PO1 Keith Cox made Aug 14 at 2022 4:28 PM

2022-08-14T16:28:18-04:00

1MC "The person having the keys to the sea chest lay to the main engine room."

Response by PO3 JamiSue Moore made Aug 14 at 2022 5:47 PM

2022-08-14T17:47:47-04:00

My Chief told me to make a fresh pot of coffee and when I tried to explain, "I don't drink_", I got shut down with a "Just make it."
I grabbed the pot along with all the mugs and marched everything down to the deep sink in maintenance and gave and proceeded a deep clean. The stainless steel was shiny and the mugs were sparkling white.
Chief came over while I was putting everything back together and started screaming, asking me "What the fuck did you do?" I shrugged, "I cleaned it. Now if you want to show me how to make the stuff, I'll be more than happy to make a fresh pot."
My Watch Officer was crying with tears and needless to say, I was never asked to make coffee again.

Response by SPC Bob Krutek made Aug 17 at 2022 10:33 AM

2022-08-17T10:33:03-04:00

Told my buddy when he was still new to the unit, that he forgot to bring in the range fans. It even got back to the PSG who pretended to chop his ass. It wasn't until after we got released for the day that he was told it was a joke.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 17 at 2022 7:21 PM

2022-08-17T19:21:48-04:00

This is a bit of a story. In 2012 at my first duty station our SSGT would prank a few people telling them to bring him the A.F. ID.10-T. It was a good prank but I decided as a little A1C, that I would make this form. As a template I used both AF Leave Request and Out Processing checklists. Though instead of squadrons I had leadership from your immediate supervisor, all the way up to the base commander. After completing it 1 of my friends asked for a copy. I didn’t know, but he gave it to “That 1 kid” who believes everything. About an hour later I found out “he” had the form, so I called my friends and told them we have to find this kid. He was new so none of us had gotten his number yet. We went out searching for him, not 20 mins later I get a call. “Report in Now.” our Capt. was standing at the front of formation with “him”. When everyone arrived we formed rank and our Capt. told “the kid” to read the name of the form… with out any punctuation. It was hilarious because he had to read it 3 times before he understood. Our Capt. then showed us all the paper. To this day I don’t’ know how but every signature was filled out. He had gone to the base commander who then told him, “Now you see this box under each number. Take this and go back down the chain and get everyone's initials.” Our Capt. initialed it, right there, handed it to our Flight Chief, and the kids supervisor. Then told him to laminate it and bring it in tomorrow. Yes a few people took his embarrassed picture and nobody got in trouble but I was ordered not to make any more copies.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 17 at 2022 7:35 PM

2022-08-17T19:35:45-04:00

A good or bad prank, depending on point of view, in Security Forces, there was a rule not to leave your beret behind. If you left your beret, anywhere, there was a good chance that someone would take a black grease pencil and mark it up. When you put it on the grease would smear onto your forehead leaving a long-lasting stain. One kid, he was Hispanic, got pranked and it was so bad that it looked like he had electrical tape from his eyebrows to his hairline. He was ordered to leave the beret on all day because he was working the main gate. Fortunately, it was only 85* outside.

Response by CPO Bernie Penkin made Aug 18 at 2022 11:53 AM

2022-08-18T11:53:56-04:00

Freezing ball caps was always fun. We took one guys hat and instead of freezing it in bucket we soaked it in water and then routinely sprayed it with additional water so that the hat would be keep the basic shape of the hat as the layers of water froze. Pretty soon, we had a hat shaped glacier in our freezer. What got the most laughs was when the guy who’s hat we froze would come in and spray the hat. I thought he was going to cry when we finally told him.

Response by PO3 Gil Dominguez made Aug 19 at 2022 12:30 AM

2022-08-19T00:30:55-04:00

While stationed over seas a Shipmate and I had the responsibility to make sure everyone made it to morning rollcall on time . There was one who was a Hard Sleeper and no matter how much we tried , he wouldn't buge . After many weeks of him being late , we took it upon ourselves to teach him a lesson , everyone else was paying for his lateness now it was his...after every one was awaken and left the barrack , we stayed behind and while he was still dead asleep , we wrapped him up with tucktape along with his bunk like a mummy and he never did show up . Last we heard , he was Put On Report and never saw him again . Maybe in his next stop , he became a light sleeper and was never late again , I sure hope so .

Response by CPL Galen Beesley made Aug 19 at 2022 2:22 AM

2022-08-19T02:22:23-04:00

When I was deployed to Iraq we like to play pranks on the new LTs that came into the unit. One time there was a new LT that came in and some buddies took and made an MRE bomb and put it under his seat. Never saw an LT move so quick in my life. We had a good laugh later over it.

Response by MSgt Brian Williams made Aug 19 at 2022 11:31 AM

2022-08-19T11:31:00-04:00

Oh so many to chose from but the best:
We had a two stall latrine in our ops building on Brooks AFB. Every morning nearly every one of the SNCOs would make their way to the latrine with newspaper in hand. One day, some young airman decided to place a pair of boots and pants in each stall, lock each of the stall doors and crawl out. We kinda hung around the hallway to watch them go in and turn right around. After about an hour and a half one of the SNCOs shouted alright who the hell is in there. No answer. He actually looked under the stall. Of course when he came out of the latrine into the hallway, the hallway was empty. Every airman under the rank of E5 was either on weeds and seeds, washing deuce and halfs, or buffing the ops floor and hallways. I opted for washing the deuces and a halfs. It got me out of their line of sight for a few hours.

Response by MSgt Brian Williams made Aug 19 at 2022 11:40 AM

2022-08-19T11:40:44-04:00

-We also took unattended flight caps, soaked them in water, then put them in the freezer for the day.
-Stuffed chad and the little circular things leftover from the two hold punches in gloves, hats, and jacket pockets.
-Find the phone number for a KFC and leave a message saying Colonel Sanders called and leave that KFC number as the call back number.
-Carbon paper rubs on headset earpieces was always good for mid shift.
-Last but not least, the ever popular if you fell asleep on position, they tied your shoe laces together.

Response by PV2 Kristie Byington made Aug 20 at 2022 7:17 PM

2022-08-20T19:17:03-04:00

Sending Privates for diesel "spark" plugs, blinker fluid, 100 yards of flight line or a box of grid squares

Response by SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM made Aug 20 at 2022 8:26 PM

2022-08-20T20:26:22-04:00

I was not fortunate to see any!

Response by Sgt George Lawrence made Aug 21 at 2022 4:56 PM

2022-08-21T16:56:59-04:00

Got to my first duty station as a new PFC right out of ITR (hey. I felt "salty" already, making PFC in boot camp). I was a 2531 (radio operator). The Gunny sent me to the comm. shack to get a box of zero beats! I went back indoctrinated! (OK, only communicators from analog days probably get this). Semper Fi.

Response by Sgt George Lawrence made Aug 21 at 2022 5:30 PM

2022-08-21T17:30:13-04:00

At crypto school, after learning how to set up and operate the equipment, we had exercises in which part of the class would encrypt a message, following which the other group would decrypt it. It didn't take too long for someone to figure out how to prank t
an unsuspecting naive guy. We would encrypt a message with the usual heading and cipher settings code group, begin typing a typical message but then just hold the "space" key down. The machine would still print out 5 letter code groups as usual, but when the guy in the other group would begin decryption, the tape would come out blank. The operator would think the machine was out of ink, not working right, or he just did something wrong. After trying everything, he would ask for help from the instructor, who knew exactly what had happened. Wasn't his first rodeo.

Response by MAJ Lyle F. Padilla made Aug 26 at 2022 1:19 AM

2022-08-26T01:19:34-04:00

This goes back to when I was an Air Force F-4 Phantom Weapons Systems Officer (WSO, before I ended up defecting to the Army) in Korea in the early 80s. One of our front seaters was close to his End of Tour and had received preliminary orders to his next assignment which was a very coveted assignment as an Aggressor pilot at Nellis AFB, Nevada flying F-5E Tiger IIs simulating Soviet Mig-21s at the Red Flag exercises and other training scenarios at other CONUS fighter bases. Shortly after that, he got a phone call at the squadron Duty Desk from a woman identifying herself as a civilian working at the Air Force Manpower and Personnel Center (AFMPC) at Randolph AFB, Texas, calling to inform him that his orders for the new assignment were revoked and his new assignment was flying T-38s as an Instructor Pilot at the Fighter Lead-in Program at Holloman AFB, New Mexico, preparing new graduates from Undergraduate Pilot or Navigator Training for the fighter environment. The guy, of course, flipped out, starting to argue with her and her replying that since the T-38 was a 2-seat unarmed version of the F-5E with less powerful engines and Holloman was a desert environment like Nellis, it was the closest thing they could give him to his "dream sheet" assignment and he should be happy with it. After going back and forth several minutes, he hung up and put in a call to the commander of the Aggressor Squadron at Nellis asking why his assignment was being revoked.

The Aggressor commander was just telling him that he hadn't received any word of any change in his assignment when two guys walked up from behind him, each carrying a pocket tape recorder: one had been recording his end of both phone conversations from the other side of the duty desk, and the other had recorded the phone call from the "civilian at AFMPC" from her end of the conversation, who was actually the wife of another fighter pilot calling from an office down the hall.

Response by SA Michael Moore made Sep 10 at 2022 10:11 AM

2022-09-10T10:11:56-04:00

In 1960, on Wednesdays in good weather, the Naval Academy had a parade around Worden Field.Uniform was full dress with rifles and bayonet belts .It was a big deal with lots of attendees in the bleachers where we would pass in review, frequently before senior level brass from DC. The custom was the 24 companies would march onto the field and break off companies to go to their respective marker. It was a precision movement. The markers were bronze plaques precisely placed so all the battalions would be lined up properly and quickly. To make it happen, as the companies came in, Guidon Bearers, on command would post to their companies mark. So, my 11th company guidon nearer would run, on command, and find the 11th co marker and stand on or near it, The Company commander could then guide us to locate on the guidon. This exercise was happening for several minutes amongst all 24 companies,
But on this day, disaster struck! Someone during the wee hours of Wednesday morning had moved all the markers (which were attached by spikes).They were scattered wildly and randomly but carefully spiked down. You can imagine the chaos of guidon bearers scrambling desperately trying to find their markers while their company was marching to them . I was not there that day, but my understanding was it was a huge embarrassment. The hero of the day was the company commander who immediately discerned there was a huge prank being played . He marched his company completely across the field, recalled his guidon bearer, and marched his lone company back to Bancroft Hall and dismissed them for the day,

Response by 1SG Dean Mcbride (MPER) (CPHR) made Oct 30 at 2022 6:27 PM

2022-10-30T18:27:48-04:00

Fort Sill in the old barracks with bunk beds... Guy came in drunk and passed out in his lower bunk. We disassembled his bed and stacked the bunk so it was three high - did it carefully and quietly so as to not wake him up. Needless to say, when he stepped out of bed the next morning he almost broke his neck! It was funny at the time and everyone laughed about it. However, with a little maturity, I realize it could have ended in a very bad way...

Response by CPO Matthew Bigelow made Nov 11 at 2022 8:06 AM

2022-11-11T08:06:50-05:00

Gift wrapping everything in The CMC's office (books, computer, wall hangings, desks, chairs...everything).

Response by Capt RIck Black made Nov 18 at 2022 1:26 PM

2022-11-18T13:26:03-05:00

On a Prime Beef deployment in Florida we knew an exercise was scheduled to don Gas masks. Earlier I snatched a new LT’s mask and put in fake eyes with red streaks. When he put I on one of the evaluators went ballistic and wanted to fail the entire squadron. But the rest of them loved it and told him to sit back down and STFU.

Response by PO3 Anthony Aiello made Jan 13 at 2023 10:30 PM

2023-01-13T22:30:22-05:00

1973 CNO ADM Zumwaldt completely destroyed the enlisted uniform in the early 1970’s

https://www.history.navy.mil/content/history/nhhc/browse-by-topic/people/chiefs-of-naval-operations/admiral-elmo-r--zumwalt-jr-/_jcr_content/body/image.img.jpg/ [login to see] 82.jpg

1439409407982.jpg

Response by PO1 Robert Ryan made Jan 14 at 2023 7:22 PM

2023-01-14T19:22:59-05:00

Im basic training my Drill Sergeant sent me to get a tent stretcher. This was during Bivouac week at Fort Jackson June 1967. How naive we were at 18 years old.

Response by CSM Edward Litherland made Feb 2 at 2023 9:11 AM

2023-02-02T09:11:19-05:00

Our Reserve unit was convoying on Friday evening to Ft Devens for range fire qualifications over the weekend. The Supply SGT was driving the deuce and a half with the M16s loaded on his vehicle. Halfway to Devens we stopped at a rest area on I-90 so the troops could grab something to eat and use the facilities.

Unfortunately the Supply SGT had to stay at vehicle guarding the weapons.

Having to relieve himself and no one to assist he went between his vehicle and the hummer behind it.

Our eagar beaver 2LT was going to inspect the line.

Note it was dark without much lighting.

Well 2LT found the wetness and with many soldiers finishing up eating bent down felt and sniffed the spot and proudly exclaimed "Specialist, you have a Class 3 oil leak".

Needless to say it only took less than 4 minutes for all 234 soldiers to learn how great our 2LT was. LOL!

Response by PO1 Frank Reiffenstein made Apr 18 at 2023 7:45 PM

2023-04-18T19:45:14-04:00

I would have to say , in my opinion, it is between Sea Bouy watch,and there is a Sea Bat on the Forcastle.

Response by MAJ Joseph Ward made Apr 21 at 2023 12:31 PM

2023-04-21T12:31:47-04:00

When I was a Battery XO the First Sergeant and I messed with the commander, he was a horrible commander. The best was when we put open tuna cans or sardines in the drop down ceiling. Top also put eggs in his boots during an FTX, that one caused a rash of $hit though.

Response by SPC Paul Gooch made Apr 21 at 2023 9:59 PM

2023-04-21T21:59:23-04:00

The funniest prank I witnessed was alcohol games. A group of us in the barracks on the weekend playing quarters. You don't want to be the first to pass out. You might end up with one eyebrow shaved off. Just imagine showing up to formation on Monday morning with one eyebrow

Response by SGT Kerry Sommers made Apr 23 at 2023 5:51 PM

2023-04-23T17:51:00-04:00

I had a specialist go to the pharmacy to get neck grease. He came and said they did have any and wondered what it used for. Told it help get head out of your butt. Fun

Response by TSgt Robert Wayne made Apr 23 at 2023 6:44 PM

2023-04-23T18:44:19-04:00

One of the best pranks I've seen was at the fire station. One of the civilian supervisors last 24 hrs shift. A co-worker made a snowball put it in a rag and hid it above the false ceiling with a coat hanger wire over the supervisors pillow at his bunk. By the time the guy went to bed the snowball slowly melted dripping on his head. We could see him swatting the air wondering where the drops of water was coming from. Hehehe

Response by Cpl Alex Santiago made Apr 24 at 2023 10:26 AM

2023-04-24T10:26:31-04:00

When I arrived to my first duty station in Okinawa, I was ordered to make coffee for the soda mess for 30 days. I found it unjust that I had to make coffee when I don't drink it and hate it. They said it will build character. So, I got the money from the soda mess and went to the PX and got decaffeinated coffee and placed it in the empty red container for the coffee. For 30 days I had the whole communications and electronics maintenance shop drinking decaf. When it was time for me to hand off my 'duty' to the new person, I made a double strength coffee and sat back to watch the show. Needless to say, it was hilarious to see how on edge everybody was that day.

Response by Cpl Alex Santiago made Apr 24 at 2023 11:49 AM

2023-04-24T11:49:17-04:00

In 29 Palms, we had a new comer to the C&E schools arrive on a weekend, we advise them they have HELO watch. They have to be in their dress blues and at the HELO pad waiting for the chopper to land. They would immediately run to the chopper and open the hatch and salute the first officer coming out of the chopper. Unfortunately, that day he went out to HELO watch, the base commanding officer was landing and had this brand new PFC open the hatch in Dress Blues and salute him. The General was so impressed, he meritoriously promoted him 3 days later...

Response by SGT Jesse Orendorff made Apr 24 at 2023 5:53 PM

2023-04-24T17:53:10-04:00

Way back in OIF I, I had a CPT that loved practical jokes. His favorite was putting rubber scorpions and fake camel spiders in guys' boots and in sleeping bags. We kept telling him that it wasn't cool to add that kind of stress while in a combat zone. So, after discussing this multiple times, we decided to play a joke on him. (now for a bit of context, I was a Recovery Specialist. At the time I was a 63W20H8. I operated a M984A4 HEMTT Wrecker that has a material handling crane on it). So one day we caught the CPT using a port-a-pot next to the maintenance area where my truck was. After he entered the port-a-pot, we ratchet strapped it shut it lifted it off the ground using the material handling crane. From there, we went to chow. I returned about 30 mins later to find 2 E-7s and a Staff Sergeant fiddling with the controls of a non-running truck, trying to figure out how to get him down. So I played it off like I had no idea what was going on and got him down. We let the CPT think about it for about 2 weeks before letting him know what had happened. Needless to say, there were no more practical jokes for the rest of our tour.

Response by SPC Daniel Rankin made May 5 at 2023 10:52 PM

2023-05-05T22:52:06-04:00

That is pretty much like us country boys in the barracks sending the newbies on a snipe hunt. No such thing but they would spend a few hours looking for one in the woods lol

Response by PV2 Tommy Smith made Jun 5 at 2023 1:45 PM

2023-06-05T13:45:44-04:00

I was in the signal in int 70's. (I was a 36C20 Telephone linemen aka Filed Wireman) When I got to my first duty station in Germany I got ordered to go to SGT X at the radio shack to get frequency grease for channel 49 on the high band. (I was a Ham before I went in.) SGT X told me to tell GET Y yo go clime a channel 49 tower and get it him self.

Response by SMSgt Rick Manley made Jun 6 at 2023 12:03 PM

2023-06-06T12:03:25-04:00

When I was yeachinhbtech school for RI99125 in Denver, we had one little scrawny Staff Sgt that loved messing with the students. I took a bottle of super glue, glued his boots to the bottom of his desk, his coffee cup to the top of his desk along with his pencil holder and all of his pens and pencils. Rumor had it he had to chisel his boots off the bottom of his desk…

Response by Cpl Craig Howard made Jun 22 at 2023 8:38 PM

2023-06-22T20:38:11-04:00

I can't say too much but one of out LT's finally earned his right to Pilot our birds. No longer a Co-Pilot is a big deal and to do it as an LT was great. The ranking Pilots Duct Taped him on the outside of his flight suit, put a cargo strap into the binding and used the strap to pick him up with a Pettybone Crane about 10 feet up. The Fire Crew drove into the hanger and let loose with a couple of hundreds of gallons of fresh water. They not only let him down right afterwards, but they cut 1 hand loose and gave him a knife t finish extracting himself. After that they let him buy drinks all night at the O Club.

Response by SP5 Richard Barton made Jun 29 at 2023 12:31 PM

2023-06-29T12:31:20-04:00

A LITTLE SLIGHT OF HAND

I entered the Army as an E-3 under the Stripes for Skills program in 1974. So, upon arriving at Basic Training, I was made acting Platoon Sergeant. A few weeks later, we were cleaning the barracks and getting ready for inspection that afternoon. I got a small crew of 3 or 4 guys to to volunteer to clean the rest room/shower area. Just before lunch, they reported they had finished the job. So, I went to inspect.

I checked for dust everywhere an then went into one of the stalls. With three of the guys hovering over me to make sure everything I checked was good, I opened the door with the largest stall so they could see. I looked behind the toilet and under the tank. Then I took my hand and using my ring finger I slid it under the lip of the commode. I stood up and they were all watching with amazement at my attention to detail. So then I licked my index finger. I made a face and just said, "Salt!"

Every one on the floor suddenly heard these E-1's groaning from being grossed out. One guy was having Pentecostal conniption fit absolutely grossed out. One man started stomping his feet like he was running in place. Another resigned himself to fall on the floor rolling a bit until he was on his hands an knees ready to heave breakfast. They couldn't believe I would do that. So, I explained how I did it to settle them down. And we all went back to work. To this day, when I'm at home and clean my rest room I remember the prank and smile. I wonder if they smile as well.

Response by Sgt Eugene Pardee made Jul 18 at 2023 8:25 PM

2023-07-18T20:25:55-04:00

I was assigned to the front desk at Hickam's Base Photo Lab. The rest of the guys would often get their darkroom work done early and then played poker in the back room. They would play for a while and then some would go home early. Everyone was included except me, I had to man the front desk.... irritating.
One day a friend from our squadron's Life Support Equipment branch came by, and I was grumbling about it. You could hear them back there laughing and having a great time while I was anchored at the front desk.
I have a pretty powerful voice, and after a while, I went into our high-ceilinged, hard walled studio and called "PHOTO LAB ATTENTION!!!” The echo in there was tremendous.
There was quite a bit of noise in the back room as drawers and lockers opened and closed to clear the evidence off the tables and then silence. My friend was rolled up in a ball in the studio, laughing uncontrollably.
After about a minute of this silence, the door from the back room to the studio opened and my NCOIC's head poked around the corner. He walked with his hands behind him, "at ease" style only holding a cigar, and walked through the studio, the front office and into his office; looking for our Squadron Commander or the General officer that I had called the place to attention for. It was, of course, empty because anyone that we would have to do that for always had appointments and everyone would know that they were coming by.
My NCOIC returned and said "PARDEE" while shaking his head and returned to the back room. That was the last that I ever heard of it.

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Jul 20 at 2023 5:37 PM

2023-07-20T17:37:28-04:00

Discreetly telling a 2LT that her rank was on upside down, then watching the scramble.

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Jul 20 at 2023 5:38 PM

2023-07-20T17:38:28-04:00

Second best was getting the DFAC folks to bring out a high chair for our new height-challenged XO. He took it the right way -- after we all peed our pants

Response by FA Tim Pellmann made Jul 22 at 2023 12:44 AM

2023-07-22T00:44:55-04:00

When I was in boot camp we told this one guy that if he ate the scrambled eggs that they served for breakfast, he would go sterile. And he believed us!

Response by LTC John Griscom made Jul 30 at 2023 3:37 PM

2023-07-30T15:37:41-04:00

Called an Army O-6's (not a nice guy) office to tell him he was scheduled for his annual physical. When he reported for the appointment, the doctor was a proctologist.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 31 at 2023 8:41 AM

2023-07-31T08:41:24-04:00

During BCT at Ft. Jackson, someone glued (with industrial adhesive) the DI's Smokey Bear hat to his desk. Man, was he p.o.ed about that. We suffered a week of extra P.T. for that one.

Response by PO1 Robert Ryan made Jul 31 at 2023 9:44 AM

2023-07-31T09:44:19-04:00

When I was in basic training at Fort Jackson during Bivouac week I was putting up my shelter half to form the tent I was going to share. I place the peg in the ground was pulling on the rope t to put it over the peg. MY Drill Sergeant saw me doing this. He approached me and said "Your working to hard trainee, you need to go to supply and ask the supply sergeant to use the tent stretcher. I went to the supply tent and asked the supply sergeant for the tent stretcher. He loked at me and said I just sent it over to the mess tent the Mess Sergeant . I went over to the mess tent saw the mess sergeant who told me he just gave it to on of the cadre to use, Went over to the cadre tent (drill sergeants) tent asked permission too enter. Was immediately made to do 10 push ups for entering the tent. Explained to them (There 5 drill sergeants in the tent) I was sent for a tent stretcher by my drill sergeant. I was told he had just left the tent with it, and to find him. Again before leaving was dropped for 10 more, Went over the bivouac area saw ,my drill sergeant he me asked where is the tent stretcher I sadi the drill sergeants told me you had it. He reached down grubbed the peg I was trying to pull the rope over out of the ground moved the peg closer to the rope pulled the rope over the peg and said. I just stretched yoiur tent drop and give me 10. So 30 push ups later and realizing I was just sent for something that doesn't exist. We sure are ignorant about some things when we were 18 years o0ld.

Response by MAJ Hugh Blanchard made Jul 31 at 2023 1:19 PM

2023-07-31T13:19:22-04:00

A particularly obnoxious co-worker was due to PCS from Korea to CONUS. As he departed our environs, an unknown individual made a "tip" call to a 1-800 number indicating he was a potential drug courier. We later received a phone call from the departing service member complaining he had been "exhaustively" searched on arrival in LA. Apparently he was carrying a joint, which made thigs much worse. Things got a little bit out of hand that time.

Response by CPO Peggy Morris made Sep 2 at 2023 6:22 PM

2023-09-02T18:22:46-04:00

Less than 3% of those who file get 100% . They have a microscope so far up our ass, you're just making shit worse

Response by SPC Roger Peterson made Sep 2 at 2023 7:42 PM

2023-09-02T19:42:09-04:00

I put a spool of green string in my fatigue jacket pocket before company inspection and put the end of the string hanging out so the company commander could find it during inspection. He liked pulling on loose threads till your sleeve fell off. He walked backwards on the parade field until the thread ran out and said, "Wow! That's the longest string I ever saw on a uniform!" The whole company laughed at him.

Response by Sgt Steven Baldwin made Sep 12 at 2023 7:33 PM

2023-09-12T19:33:03-04:00

New hospital corpsman were sent to "sterile supply" to retreave a "sterile fallopian tube". Once there the supply Sgt began the never ending quest throughout the rest of the hospital. "Hey, just sent my last two to 2 West, check with them." I'm sure you know where this is going, 2 West sent them to ICU, who sent them to 4 East, who sent them on and on until either someone cracks or they return empty handed!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 2 at 2023 9:20 AM

2023-10-02T09:20:51-04:00

As an Infantry Captain, stationed in Germany, I attended our Battalion "Dining In" (notoriously raucous affairs), celebrating the unit's birthday. Our S-2, making arrangements, took a recommendation, from a "buddy" of his in our rival sister Armor Battalion, for a local "young lady" to pop out of the huge b-day cake. The girl popped out and danced with various Lieutenants. The next day there was chagrin amongst us all, particularly the aforementioned dancing Looeys, and especially the S-2, when one Lieutenant reported to his friends that the "young lady" was, in fact, a female impersonator. The resulting hilarity in our "sister" Armor Battalion resulted in our delivering them a bruising 41-0 trouncing, in the next intramural football game, which we termed "The CakeWalk".

Response by Sgt Leonce Dolhonde Sr. made Oct 3 at 2023 3:54 PM

2023-10-03T15:54:08-04:00

Going to 'Nam on the APA Billy Mitchell with 5000 other Jarheads it was almost impossible to get into the main head after breakfast. Fifteen lines would form facing a metal trough with 15 toiles seats fixed side by side with fast flowing water rushing in from one bulkhead and out the other.
As it was crowded there was a lot of grumbling when one Marine would take a seat closest to the bulkhead with the water rushing IN and would pull out a newspaper, but in the interest of "just move along" not a lot was said.
The Marine with the newspaper would pop it open and prop it on his knees with one hand. With the newspaper covering his upper body he would use just the fingers of his other hand to crumple a single sheet of news paper into a loose ball.
Reaching into an upper pocket of his utility jacket he produced a cigarette lighter and, lighting the newspaper ball would quickly drop the flaming newspaper ball into the trough of downstream rushing water.
The loosely crumpled and flaming ball would be whisked away in the current under the bare backsides of 14 other "trough sitters" and the surprised expletives, oaths and singed hair never failed to make the rest of the troops in the 15 lines facing the trough howl with laughter.

Response by SSG Harry Herres made Oct 6 at 2023 4:00 PM

2023-10-06T16:00:27-04:00

1969 basic Ft. Polk. New butter bar causing missory, so whats new! One night some people lifted the good mans new 69 orange Camaro onto a PT stand. You should have seen his face in the morning! Up and back down not a scratch or dent! No problems from him anymore.

Response by SFC Kevin Childers made Oct 8 at 2023 12:20 AM

2023-10-08T00:20:13-04:00

In boot camp one of the other platoons in our series senior DIs was known throughout the Corps as 'The Frog'. It was claimed he gargled each morning with Drain. As luck would have it we had a skinny recruit in our platoon who did a pretty good imitation of 'The Frog'. Needless to say we pranked his platoon repeatedly without him catching us. The would be formed up waiting outside the barracks or chowhall when random commands in his unique voice would come from behind them. Needless to say he was not happy when the were sent back in after he had just ordered them outout side.

Years later he had the Bn Recon PLT deployed with us. Our first day on ship at formation he checked the platoon berthing area and found cigarette butts. Approaching from the rear he in his own inimical way told Recon just #&@ing drop. Where upon several officers hit the deck and began pushing. They suddenly realized where they were and recovered. Who knew he'd trained officers too.

Response by SFC Kevin Childers made Oct 8 at 2023 12:26 AM

2023-10-08T00:26:57-04:00

While teaching at SWCS we would have pizza on days we knew the students had a late chow call. Then we'd stash the pizza boxes in the in air conditioned classroom where the smell would fill the room. By the time the fell out for chow they were drewling & ready to chew nails.

Response by SFC Kevin Childers made Oct 8 at 2023 12:59 AM

2023-10-08T00:59:05-04:00

While teaching AIT land nav, we had a very tight training schedule so retraining and retest was done on weekends. As instructors we hated it. So to motivate the students looked for a way to better motivate the students. Setting up the course one day I found a balloon with some sort of electronic package attached. I called the local airfield and they said it was probably a disposable MET monitoring sensor. Showing it to the other instructors we cooked up a Lost Student Locator LSL system. We got a full spool of 550 cord from the riggers and a new balloon from the air weather guys. We rigged a little blinking batteries with switch and a blinking light in the package and put it all into properly marked canvas knapsack. Last one to qualify land nav got to carry it everywhere the went until graduation. Each morning the class leader had to do a power on battery check. Needless to say some of those who carried it would be reminded of it by their peers years later.

Response by Brig Gen Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 26 at 2023 12:33 PM

2023-10-26T12:33:50-04:00

Back as a Captain in my residency at Eglin we had a rare slow night on call. We filled one of our colleagues offices with inflated rubber gloves . .
Like I said, it was a slow night!

Response by Cpl Craig Howard made Nov 14 at 2023 1:50 PM

2023-11-14T13:50:16-05:00

In the Air Wing of the Marines our favorite was to send the New Boot out for 10 Gallons of Prop Wash. (The force of air produced by a spinning propeller.) As it turns out, there have been some Propellers in history that had specialized cleaning required due to the materials used in making it. This one guy went to a local airport, bought some and brought a receipt looking to be rimbursed.

Response by SSG John Craig made Dec 6 at 2023 9:47 PM

2023-12-06T21:47:04-05:00

I was stationed in Germany and we were doing Soldier readiness getting ready to deploy to Iraq. A butterbar who was new to the Batallion was behind my soldiers and I in line. he tapped me on my shoulder and asked if he could go in front of us in line because he had some paperwork he needed to finish. I said "No problem, Sir" He said "Thank you, Staff Sergeant." Before he moved in front of us in the line, I said this to him "Sir, before you get to the front of the line, you need to fix your rank.It's upside down and it wouldn't be a good thing if our BN commander saw you with your rank on upside down." He thanked me again and then he reached down and unvelcroed his 2LT rank and turn it 180 degrees and then put it back on. After the 2LT moved toward the front of the line, the PV2 next to me asked me "Hey SSG, how could you tell the LT's rank was upside down"? I told him "when and if you get to my rank, you'll know."
I'm not sure which was funnier: the Lt falling for that or the PV2 asking me how I could tell the 2LT's rank was upside down.

Response by TSgt Michael Brandt made Dec 9 at 2023 2:09 PM

2023-12-09T14:09:59-05:00

1. Late 80s missile field had a cook that like to jet dry peoples food his last shift we took the door off the hinges to his kitchen pull a $20 out of his cash box put $19.99 back into it laid a penny on the floor right by the door, but the door backs on its hinges The next morning he freaked out because he thought he lost $20.00
2. Mid 90s working on the ramp overnight. Maintenance left one of the C1 30s on the taxi way to the hot ramp someone on days had signed a bunch of tickets and left the book in the patrol car. I took one of tickets and put it under the windshield wiper of the C130 the next day, they were all up in arms, wondering how someone got into a locked aircraft

Response by PO1 David Kingsley made Dec 10 at 2023 4:41 AM

2023-12-10T04:41:27-05:00

a Relative Bearing, is an Angle Off the Bow while a ship is Underway.
A Standard prank for noobs, was to send them for a can of Relative Bearing Grease.
There Actually is a Relative Grease Company and a guy had gotten his hands on a one pound can of Bearing Grease from them.
When he reported aboard, and was instructed to get a Can of Relative Bearing Grease, he went to his rack for a few additional hours of sleep, and after lunch reported back to his Leading First Class with a Can of Relative Bearing Grease

Response by SN Alan West made Dec 11 at 2023 6:29 AM

2023-12-11T06:29:58-05:00

On a Med deployment, we put a guy on Mail Buoy Watch. We told him that all the mail for the ship would be dropped by either helicopter or prop plane and he would need to stand up on the Foc'sil with a boat hook and when the "mail drop" happened he needed to grab the mail before it sank into the ocean.

The day we chose to prank this person it was raining, so we outfitted him in full foul-weather gear and sent him up to the nose of the ship where he dutifully stayed for a couple of hours until the ship's Bo'sun asked what some idiot was doing standing at the front of the ship in the rain with a boat hook.

I have the pictures of my shipmate outfitted in the foul-weather gear holding the boathook to prove that sea story is true to boot.

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2023 1:17 PM

2023-12-11T13:17:02-05:00

The Imposable Sit up.

Response by Cpl Jeff Ruffing made Mar 24 at 2024 9:07 PM

2024-03-24T21:07:45-04:00

I was at first an ammo bearer for an 81mm crew. After about a half a day chunking rounds to the intended target, the mortar had to be repositioned and re aligned. Trying to pry the base plate out of NC red clay was a challenge. I was on the adjusting gun, smack in the middle. I commented that there had to be a better way. My NCO told me there was a “base plate jack” that would simplify the procedure. I asked where it was at, and he told me Gun 1 had it. I promptly took off for said piece of equipment. Little did I know, all the guns were on a hot loop so everyone knew what I was sent out for. I got to gun one and asked for the jack only to be told gun 8 had it. I trotted to gun 8 only to be told gun 1 had it. At this point I caught on that I had been had. Returning to my hole, my NCO had such a grin on his face. I knew I was accepted.

Response by Cpl Jeff Ruffing made Mar 24 at 2024 9:16 PM

2024-03-24T21:16:55-04:00

Being no stranger for being pranked, I’ve pranked a few myself. We had a group of cadidiot. ( officers cadets). One walked in and introduced himself to me and asked if I needed anything. He was an officer candidate and could make things happen. I asked him for BA 100 Novembers ( balloons) I noticed the puzzled look on his face. He asked what those were. I asked him back, Sir, do you know what a BA 30/30 is? He affirmed he did, so I asked him, Sir then what do you think a BA 1100 November is? He seemed to get the picture and asked me if I knew where to obtain them. I told him I only needed one and they were on the BMOs desk in his office. I sent him merrily on his way. He never came back. Another cadidiot was sent for blinker fluid. One for a front slope wear indicator of an M1 tank. And one for a noise suppression cable. That candidly came back with one. Apparently there is a noise suppression cable for an M1 tank.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 8 at 2024 1:29 AM

2024-04-08T01:29:38-04:00

Explaining to the new PVT in the platoon that since the horn on our humvee is not working he needs to go to all of the maintenance shops until he finds "can of beep".

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 8 at 2024 1:30 AM

2024-04-08T01:30:03-04:00

Explaining to the new PVT in the platoon that since the horn on our humvee is not working he needs to go to all of the maintenance shops until he finds "can of beep".