What's the craziest thing you have ever seen while inspecting a barracks room?

2015-05-14T16:08:40-04:00

I have seen some crazy things while conducting a barracks inspection or during a "GI Party". What are some the the most outrageous things you've seen?

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:10 PM

2015-05-14T16:10:00-04:00

One our senior NCOs was inspecting a females room and looked at this device on the night stand and said, "oh she must have asthma" because of what looked like an oxygen mask. He did a double take and was scarred for life at what he was really seeing!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:10 PM

2015-05-14T16:10:14-04:00

I have seen everything from snakes, to sex toys, to mold from food growing under beds. I could probably continue but when you go into a Soldiers room you should always expect the unexpected.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:11 PM

2015-05-14T16:11:37-04:00

I have never had the opportunity to inspect, but I distinctly remember watching a documentary about one of the service academies & during one such check a female cadet's "toys" were found in the drawer of the bed table. Rather embarrassing thing to have thrown about on television, I would think...

Response by Capt Richard I P. made May 14 at 2015 4:13 PM

2015-05-14T16:13:33-04:00

A live round, a blank and a SESAMs round all on the same stripper clip. No PFC Schmuckatelli.... you did not just "forget" and bring that back from the range.

Response by MSG Martin C. made May 14 at 2015 4:20 PM

2015-05-14T16:20:47-04:00

In FT Bragg I had Specialist that had a ferret.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:23 PM

2015-05-14T16:23:02-04:00

It wasn't my room, nor my Team Leader, but a buddy of mine in my platoon (different squad) had his team leader stop by to check his room and to see how he was doing. After knocking and told to come in, all he saw was a very dark room and my buddy sitting in a rocking chair smoking a cigarette. His team leader, apparently, backed away and closed the door and walked away. The whole platoon had a laugh with that one

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:31 PM

2015-05-14T16:31:25-04:00

Not very outrageous, but there was a CPL who was caught hoarding beef to sell black market-style.

Freezer was stuffed with raw meat, some of which had to have opened and leaked, judging by the smell in the hallway.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 4:41 PM

2015-05-14T16:41:34-04:00

Not a room I inspected, but was told about it after. During a room inspection, the mattress was lifted to look for evidence of mice because they had been informed there was a problem with them. Under the mattress they found a few handguns, magazines and live ammo, some knives, a hatchet and a sword. This kid had recently been awarded BTZ (below the zone to put on SrA early for those not familiar) so it was a bit of a shock to everyone. Needless to say he is no longer serving with us.

Response by MSgt James Mullis made May 14 at 2015 5:03 PM

2015-05-14T17:03:14-04:00

It was never found in a room inspection. However, at my first duty station, my roommate rebuilt a V-8 engine and kept it in the spare wall locker.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 5:37 PM

2015-05-14T17:37:59-04:00

Ha, a naked woman in the bed with no sheets at all sleeping on a bare matress, while there were togo boxes with food underthe bed, in drawers, in closet, alcohol bottles in laundry bags and literally trash in every poetion of his side of the room.. yes he had a roommate.

Response by MSgt Brian Welch made May 14 at 2015 5:58 PM

2015-05-14T17:58:07-04:00

A bit off point but deserves to be stated here. I was a construction manager doing a remodeling project for multiple Military Family Housing units. I had to relocate a CMSgt to a new housing unit to have his remodeled. When I went into his housing unit to meet with him and the movers what I found was out of an episode of Hoarders. The entire house was piles of stuff, boxed, unboxed, stacked floor to ceiling. After the movers got his "stuff" out there was dead rats under the piles. Now that says something when your piles of crap kills rats.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 6:00 PM

2015-05-14T18:00:58-04:00

We had two man rooms in our barracks. One guy had a girl staying with him. He wasn't able to get her out of the barracks. I don't think they had a car or something. So he put her in his room mates closest and locked her in there. His room mate was away at a school so he knew if he locked it they would think the guy that left locked it. He wasn't the brightest guy. It worked though.

Response by MSG Danny Stanley made May 14 at 2015 6:50 PM

2015-05-14T18:50:22-04:00

A Chief Petty Officer found my homemade wine brewery under my sink in the barracks once. I gave him a bottle and it magically never happened.

Response by PO1 Jason Taylor made May 14 at 2015 10:35 PM

2015-05-14T22:35:09-04:00

A blow up sheep!

Response by SrA Edward Vong made May 15 at 2015 1:50 AM

2015-05-15T01:50:08-04:00

I wasn't the one inspecting, but knew someone that took apart his bed, replaced it with a hammock and had it hanging over a kiddie pool.

Response by LCpl Mark Lefler made May 15 at 2015 1:58 AM

2015-05-15T01:58:02-04:00

We had someone get NJP'd for having 50 cal round or brass, can't remember which in his barracks room.

Response by PO1 John Miller made May 15 at 2015 4:05 AM

2015-05-15T04:05:10-04:00

As a Seaman I was once part of a barracks "Tiger Team". The BEQ's database was all kinds of messed up and they didn't know who was living in what room so our job was to go door to door finding out the names of the men who lived in each room.

I didn't see anything TOO crazy, but in one Submariner's room (I was stationed at Naval Submarine Base San Diego) he had a Japanese flag (he was into karate) hanging right in front of his door so that when you opened the door you had to push the flag out of the way to get in the room.

Response by PO1 John Miller made May 15 at 2015 4:07 AM

2015-05-15T04:07:20-04:00

Not during a barracks inspection, but I had a friend who started buying semi-exotic pets and keeping them in his room. At one time he had 2 iguanas, a tarantula, and a scorpion. He wasn't my roommate, so I don't remember what he did with them during room inspections.

He did eventually get caught by the barracks staff, but instead of busting him they handled it informally and told him to get rid of the animals before they wrote him up.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2015 6:58 AM

2015-05-15T06:58:13-04:00

Not in the barracks, but while conducting a health and welfare check in housing on post I found a operating tattoo parlor in one of the bedrooms. This soldier had gone so far as to having all the displays of art around the room for his customers to see his work.

Response by SSG James Doherty made May 15 at 2015 7:11 AM

2015-05-15T07:11:54-04:00

Several full server stacks hosting a pornographic website.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2015 7:35 AM

2015-05-15T07:35:31-04:00

Whenever I was in Tech School at Keesler AFB, we had a white glove GI party, and one of my MTL's found a "toy" in a friend of mines wall locker and took it straight down to the MSgt in charge and was like "are they allowed to have these" infront of the entire squadron. Needless to say the airman was embarrassed as all hell, and we all got a nice little chuckle out of it...

Response by TSgt Joshua Copeland made May 15 at 2015 7:48 AM

2015-05-15T07:48:39-04:00

My good friend's dorm room actually got added to a slide deck that made it around the entire Air Force as the nastiness room in the Air Force.

Response by SPC Jeffrey Bly made May 15 at 2015 9:32 AM

2015-05-15T09:32:08-04:00

We left a rubber shark from the movie Jaws in our toilet for one inspection. Another time we emptied all the water out of the toilet, used a blow dryer to remove any remaining moisture from the porcelain then applied a 4" round Army Be All You Can Be sticker to the bottom of the toilet then refilled with water.

Response by SPC Jeffrey Bly made May 15 at 2015 10:04 AM

2015-05-15T10:04:34-04:00

I got busted for having two large belts of spent 60 shells in my wall locker during pre-inspection. I picked it all up (links and casings) out In the Mojave Desert at NTC. Rambo was still kind of a big deal at the time and I thought it was pretty cool. 1SG sat me down, said I was like a son to him and just gave me two weeks extra duty. I wish I still had those! Damn I miss Bragg!

Response by SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. made May 15 at 2015 11:33 AM

2015-05-15T11:33:57-04:00

OMG!
When did OD-Green go out of fashion!
That entire room is a gig!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2015 12:42 PM

2015-05-15T12:42:14-04:00

During deployment our CSM conducted a health and welfare check after receiving complaints of uncleanness on multiple SMs. In one CHU there were 20 bottles of urine in this PFCs wall locker, under his bunk, and under the night stand. The SM was a mere 2 rows down from the toilet trailor, but his reasoning was that he didn't want to go out at night. Never did explain why he didn't get rid of them in the mornings.

Response by SFC Jose Caraballo made May 15 at 2015 12:47 PM

2015-05-15T12:47:05-04:00

Too many to recount in a single posting, but the most frustrating one for me would be the Health and Welfare inspection we were conducting. Soldier had his girlfriend and her 3 children(from other relationships) living in his room for 2 weeks. Soldier's girlfriend became rude saying we were invading their privacy. MP's, local law enforcement, and child services were called in to deal with her. Not my greatest day in the office.

Response by SFC Douglas Davis made May 15 at 2015 2:24 PM

2015-05-15T14:24:54-04:00

Opened the wall locker of a soldier on leave and found four pot plants a bong and a bunch more.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2015 7:09 PM

2015-05-15T19:09:45-04:00

When I lived in the barracks as a private, it was my room that was worthy of posting here. I took pride in my weirdness, and showcased it. I was very good with an airbrush, and had several cartoon characters airbrushed on the wall, Tom and Jerry, Garfield and John, and more. Additionally I had airbrushed the Grateful Dead dancing bears across the top of the window with roses and vines. Add on top of that a Winnie the Pooh bed set, and the black light bulbs I used to replace the regular fluorescent bulbs, and my room looked like a bad acid trip. The BN CSM came in for a barracks inspection, and all he said was "Damn!" and walked out lol. after that they started using my artistic talents, painting murals for the unit and the like.

And yes this was a long time ago, and no I wasn't on drugs, I was just odd.

Response by SSG VNicia Young made May 15 at 2015 10:45 PM

2015-05-15T22:45:21-04:00

A vibrator in a female room and a lot of trash in males room with molded food

Response by SFC Walter Wilson made May 20 at 2015 5:53 PM

2015-05-20T17:53:37-04:00

Not a room inspection but several Soldiers were caught nude sunbathing on the barracks roof when I was at Bragg.

Response by SPC William Weedman made Aug 10 at 2015 10:59 PM

2015-08-10T22:59:40-04:00

I had a used ROKArmy smoke grenade with the shipping canister that I found in the training area behind our camp in Korea. So I reset the spring and put the pin back in it and had it sitting on my desk using the top of the canister as a pencil holder. My squad leader came in and very quietly asked me what it was after he noticed it. I explained and he was relieved but told me I might want to put it in my "amnesty drawer" in my nightstand (we were allowed to padlock our top drawer during H&W inspections) Before I left, knowing it would never make it back to the US I offered it to my squad leader to gladly took it for his desk.

Response by SPC William Weedman made Aug 10 at 2015 11:11 PM

2015-08-10T23:11:41-04:00

We had an impromptu room inspection in the very early morning hours of New Year's Day over a prank that went wrong. My PSG was SDNCO that morning the soldiers (who were not exactly sober) complained, so our squad leaders were awakened to do the walk through with him. My gf (a fellow soldier) ingeniously hid on my roommate's side of the room (he was on duty) But our leadership had a problem. We had a married soldier who was geographically separated from his wife, she had taken a train to spend the holiday weekend with him. Technically we had a female in the barracks after hours, but it was his wife. I had wise and understanding NCOs who advised him to meet her (in Seoul) and rent a hotel room for future weekend meetings and unless he had duty to let his squad leader know he would be out of the AO for accountability.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 11 at 2015 12:03 AM

2015-08-11T00:03:50-04:00

At the Naval Academy it was commonplace to save pieces of crab and the juices from the lobster and crab any time there was a feast. It was placed in bottles and let ferment until Army-Navy week. If used correctly (incorrectly) it would make the most rancid smell that you couldn't get rid of. As a side note one year they poured it into the ventilation...

Anyways, during an inspection the other inspector I was with was poking ceiling tiles with a metal rod (the broken handle to something) to see if he heard anything move around (easiest place to hide contraband) and he poked one ceiling tile that gave way and 10 water bottles filled with crab juice fell out, several of them breaking open on the offenders bed in a beautiful move of karma.

We had to relocate the midshipmen in the room for over a month while the room was dealt with.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Sep 15 at 2015 3:15 AM

2015-09-15T03:15:39-04:00

I have never conducted a room inspection but while working Bay Orderly about a month ago I was walking around with one of the Dorm Management NCOs. We were going to check on the hospitality room, a room for people normally on BAH that have to reside temporarily in the dorms, as he said the room was trashed. We went in and found the room key inside and a bunch of garbage strewn about the room from what appeared to be a party, unsure of how the dorm airman acquired the key as there was an NCO that was supposed to be command directed to live there. Then after we left that room there was a fairly strong and foul smell in the hallway that we knew couldn't have been the room we were just in. We went across the hall and knocked on a Security Forces airman's door. Said airman wasn't in so the dorm manager used his master key to open the door. Now you know those pictures we all see of the condition you should never leave your room in, basically the text book pictures of horrible dorm rooms? That was what we walked into. This airman had several large trash bags full of food/beverage containers and other trash open with trash and God knows what else all over the bed and floor, literally ALL over the floor. You couldn't see the carpet. On top of that it appeared as though every article of this airman's clothing to include their military uniforms were also mixed in with the filth. It was the most horrible room I have ever personally seen. Said airman was lucky I am not in any way an NCO because they would have been in the shirts office that day. The dorm manager decided to send the airman an e-mail to clean it and that's it. He is far more merciful.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2015 8:47 AM

2015-09-15T08:47:53-04:00

Nope.

Response by CW3 Eric W. S. made Sep 15 at 2015 9:29 AM

2015-09-15T09:29:19-04:00

Found a naked male INSIDE the TOP portion of a wall locker in a female soldier's room; found a live VOLCANO antipersonnel mine in a soldiers wall locker; found a live boa in a soldier's bed; found 87 PT caps in a soldier's locker when he went AWOL; a soldier had 12 gerbils in a cage...; one soldier had a complete satanic alter. Needless to say, I don't miss being an NCO or doing these.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2015 9:48 AM

2015-09-15T09:48:33-04:00

during a deployment we had another soldier in the battalion that somebody thought would be hilarious to mail him a suction cupped rubber "toy" we all had a laugh, but a couple of weeks later the company commander came in for an inspection and the soldier had stuck it to the wall to hang his top... but at the time he was wearing it. The commander ripped it off the wall and threw it at him. Then knowing the soldier was on a command directed weight loss program asked him "why do you have all of these peanut butter cookie wrappers? Aren't you supposed to be losing weight?" the soldier replied "well sir they are peanut butter cookies and peanut butter has protein, so they are good for me." needless to say we all had a good laugh about that one.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2015 3:08 PM

2015-09-15T15:08:40-04:00

As a young kid in AIT, we had a drill sergeant with a sense of humor. Once a month we had full inspections in Class As (in addition to all the normal walkthroughs)
One month, we filled our room a foot deep with Styrofoam popcorn and had all of our winter gear on over our Class A's
Another month we stole all of the fake trees, turned our room into a jungle and built fighting positions with battery powered helicopters flying around.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2015 3:54 PM

2015-09-15T15:54:20-04:00

1. We found Heroin paraphernalia with a residue on it during health and welfare inspection last year.
2. When I was in Iraq the 2nd time in 2008 my roommate got caught with 2 blow up dolls lol I never knew until we had barracks inspection.

Response by SGT John Rauch made Sep 15 at 2015 5:57 PM

2015-09-15T17:57:20-04:00

one of my buddys made a very smelly attempt at home made wine using balloons. ants everywhere, not to mention the stink

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2015 7:39 PM

2015-09-15T19:39:02-04:00

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this or not but my Drill Sergeants started flipping bunks fight before graduation and found this one guys 'happy sock' yeah lets just say it wasn't a good day for any of us!

Response by Cpl Isaac Park made Sep 16 at 2015 2:01 PM

2015-09-16T14:01:00-04:00

I'll respond on behalf of the senior staff who inspected my room. Detectable quantities of gaseous hydrazine.

Response by SGT Benjamin Lindsey made Jan 17 at 2016 4:17 PM

2016-01-17T16:17:08-05:00

A pile of cloths with mold all over them. This was the room of a 37 yr old specialist

Response by SGT Jason Baker made Feb 23 at 2016 4:25 PM

2016-02-23T16:25:27-05:00

Had a soldier with 52 empty spice bags in his room in plain view. Let's just say it was a huge shit show. He had other stuff in there that he's doing time for. He was a low radar squared away jo too.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2016 4:28 PM

2016-02-23T16:28:41-05:00

This wasn't an inspection but I was helping a bro move into his new room. Found a very realistic looking and sized goat. With rubber guts and fake blood set up for a mock sacrifice in one of the closets.

Response by CPL C.s. Smith made Feb 23 at 2016 5:21 PM

2016-02-23T17:21:50-05:00

I was on CQ. A female soldier in my platoon had a black lab living in her barracks room. When questioned about it she said "the platoon sergeant said it was ok".

Response by SGT Alicia Brenneis made Feb 23 at 2016 5:39 PM

2016-02-23T17:39:32-05:00

Peanut butter, a shit ton of peanut butter. The closest, under the bed, in the kitchenette, bathroom cabinet. Jars and jars. All he would say is he "liked peanut butter ".

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2016 6:16 PM

2016-02-23T18:16:09-05:00

At Ft. Hood when I was a private we used to have weekend blowout parties in the Barracks. Every Monday morning the 1SG would conduct a H&W inspection of the barracks before PT. Neither me nor my roommate were ever in any shape to discard the big trash bag of empties prior to the inspection, but we never got called out on it because my roommate had the biggest collection of Adult themed magazines that I have ever seen and five minutes before the 1SG would step in out room he would lay out thirty or so of said magazines on his bunk opened to the centerfold section

Response by PO2 Seth Carron made Feb 23 at 2016 6:52 PM

2016-02-23T18:52:59-05:00

Corpman side of NTC Great Lakes found a bunch of cocaine in someone's locker during a health and wellness inspection.

Response by 1SG Paul DeStout made Feb 23 at 2016 7:15 PM

2016-02-23T19:15:17-05:00

Once an inflatable hot tub it was on the third floor and when they drained it, it flooded the commanders office on the first floor, and as a 1SG and entire family with kids.

Response by SFC Kevin C. made Feb 23 at 2016 7:45 PM

2016-02-23T19:45:07-05:00

Seen lots of the same things everyone else has seen and posted about. Two things that stand out in my memory are a pet Ball Python, and one of my soldiers had a Katana hidden under the old metal wall lockers, I volunteered to keep that sharp as shit blade for him at my house, I don't recall what happened to that.

Response by SPC Cassi Wyckoff made Feb 23 at 2016 9:18 PM

2016-02-23T21:18:12-05:00

CSM came in for inspection on time. A few rooms down from mine we heard him yell "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" One female had a litter of bunnies hidden under her bed. Apparently she didn't think no pets included bunnies.

Response by SPC Phillip Jackson made Feb 23 at 2016 9:22 PM

2016-02-23T21:22:38-05:00

I was sent to a barracks to place a private under apprehension at the request of the 1SG. The genius knew the MPs were coming for him. He had enough time to dispose of anything he should not have had. The first thing I noticed going into his room was the reeking smell of marijuana. Open up his locker and what do I see on the top shelf in plain view ? A very ornate pipe in a stand that just about bowled me over (no pun intended). Needless to say he was soon on his way to Leavenworth via Mannheim.

Response by CPT Melanie Ryan made Feb 23 at 2016 10:34 PM

2016-02-23T22:34:39-05:00

Well, I was an MP when I was enlisted, and my partner and I once found a PFC raping a 13-year old who was the CSM's daughter.

Response by Cpl David Brown made Feb 23 at 2016 11:42 PM

2016-02-23T23:42:21-05:00

I had barracks duty and a couple female Marines in the company I was in kept getting loud to the point where it gathered the attention of the Officer of the Day on his rounds. Long story short is that a poor Marine had been locked in a wall locker for hours as it was after hours to have male visitors... Poor guy was let out and took off running to who knows where when the door was finally opened.

Response by SSG John Jensen made Feb 24 at 2016 1:59 AM

2016-02-24T01:59:25-05:00

my grandmother knitted me an afghan, during inspections they would say "that's not army" to which I replied "my grandmother made it for me" and the inspectors always split between "Never Mind!" or "I wish I had a grandmother like yours"

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2016 8:17 AM

2016-02-24T08:17:50-05:00

I never liked doing this inspections, but oh the stories I have. One incident goes down in mental history forever. A1C in the dorms decided to bring his girlfriend over for the night. Next morning, we pull a surprise inspection. With the all call fallout, he grabbed his girl and shoved her into his closet. I am began inspecting, I made the rounds but noticed his curious nature to his closet. When I opened the door, I found a fully naked woman staring at me. Took me a second to recognize her, but upon the revelation, I closed the door, turned, and walked out. The young man did pass his inspection, but I had to have a counseling session about unprofessional relationships later that afternoon.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2016 8:41 AM

2016-02-24T08:41:06-05:00

In my AIT we had someone who got hands on contraband porn magazines and cut out the pictures specifically involving the sections of women with strap ons pegging men in the butt, then gluing them inside urinals, toilets, and over the sinks.

Response by SGT Liz Carolan made Feb 24 at 2016 11:00 AM

2016-02-24T11:00:38-05:00

There was a soldier who's room mate lived off post with his gf, so the soldier in the barracks moved his gf and her two kids into the room.

Response by 1SG Jacob Baty made Feb 24 at 2016 2:17 PM

2016-02-24T14:17:27-05:00

I had a Company XO who was enlisted (SFC) in the early 90's tell me a crazy story. The company did a health and welfare and they found a claymore wire next to a PFC's bed. It went up into the ceiling tiles and was traced all the way to the PSG's office, Where they found a live claymore connected over the top of the PSG's desk. They found the initiator (clacker) in his wall locker.

Response by SFC James Massey made Feb 24 at 2016 3:09 PM

2016-02-24T15:09:39-05:00

2 ammo cans of 5.56 mm rounds a soldier kept after a range.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2016 9:10 PM

2016-02-24T21:10:31-05:00

Not me personally. We had a inspection due to a SIR. The leader shop was going through one of my soldiers rooms and opens the night stand. He saw a pink jelly looking thing and ask his battle with him what it was. What he heard was it's a flashlight so he reached in to pick it up to have a better look at this strange flashlight. By the time he grabbed it my soldier yells no SGT that's A FLESHLIGHT. Not knowing what that id's hee began too inspect it a little further to find out what it was. He stick his finger in the hole and that's when it hit him. I believe he still washes his hands all the time.

Response by SrA Ryan Nave made Feb 25 at 2016 4:39 AM

2016-02-25T04:39:26-05:00

I was helping a First Sargent conduct inspections, most of the guys were deployed so it was pretty easy the first 14 or 15 rooms. Then we open the door to find his bed had been bolted to the curling along with a a chair, even the blankets were stapled down. Aparently some "friends" thought this would be a great joke while he was in Kuwait. The shirt was not nearly as amused as I was.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 2:42 PM

2016-03-03T14:42:41-05:00

Aviation barracks fire alarm system used to go off all the time. One night it goes off around 0200. We all go outside in a haze. The fire truck arrives, checks rooms, and calls out the room for my roommate and I. We walk in and they tell him to unlock his closet.
Dude had locked this naked girl he had hooked up with in the closet.

Response by SPC Mathew Payne made Mar 3 at 2016 5:11 PM

2016-03-03T17:11:44-05:00

My SAW gunner had a stack of pizza boxes taller than his fridge. Dude could PT though. Must have been the empty liquor bottles filling up his trash can.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Mar 5 at 2016 1:33 PM

2016-03-05T13:33:27-05:00

Just remembering the barracks at Boot Camp at Great Lakes, Il and looking at the barracks now. 120 men in a big room with two level bunk beds, we did have a little locker though.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2016 12:09 PM

2016-03-06T12:09:11-05:00

in basic we had one guy who kept a bottle of spit and loogies. I have never seen a face more full of shame and confusion than the drill sergeants that day.

Response by SPC Marc Moreno made Mar 6 at 2016 9:10 PM

2016-03-06T21:10:48-05:00

In ait, they found someone who snuck a mock at4 out of the training closet into their room

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2016 9:31 PM

2016-03-07T21:31:22-05:00

A fleshlight and a dresser drawer FULL of spaghetti noodles. He told me he just really liked spaghetti, and he would hide his girlfriend better. Either this kid was into Hentai, or had a Patch Adams fetish.

Response by PO3 Liam McCormack made Mar 8 at 2016 1:49 PM

2016-03-08T13:49:32-05:00

Back at nuke school they did a full inspection of all the BEQs (about 2500 two man rooms) and after the K9s and smoke had cleared they had about 10 boxes of dildos, shit tons of handcuffs, whips, ball gags, etc. 30 gallons of booze and a still. Multiple pets including an adult labrador. 10 bikes from closets, a 3D printer. 15 gallons of lighter fluid. And a very anatomically correct sex doll which about 10 guys admitted to sharing. That was a fun inventory day.

Response by PO3 Liam McCormack made Mar 8 at 2016 1:49 PM

2016-03-08T13:49:41-05:00

Response by SSG Jesse Cheadle made Mar 8 at 2016 10:31 PM

2016-03-08T22:31:58-05:00

Dried vomit and molded food covered up with furniture and clothes.

Response by CPT Clifford Breeden Jr made Mar 9 at 2016 6:29 AM

2016-03-09T06:29:16-05:00

As a cadet in a military JC, we had daily room inspections. Well, one winter's morning, as the new cadets were policing up the snow covered area, I had gathered up some snow and made a snow ball. I called out to the cadet SGT over seeing the new cadets. He yelled out to not throw the snowball at him. Well, I did then ran back into my room. This guy came charging in with a dust pan full of snow. My roommate, a guy 6 foot 3 inch, warned him not to throw that snow at me. Well, he did. It got all over our books and his stero. My room mate lit after him with a can of MACE (CN). Well the guy ran into his room, slammed the door shut and locked the door from the inside. My room mate waited until he opened the door, stuck his foot in the door wait and let loose with a ten second stream of mace on the convection heater. Then we pulled his door shut until he threw open his windows. Oh, it was nasty in there. BUT as he had to go to class he couldn't leave his room open. So I stood by to watch over his room but when I saw the TAC coming, I grabbed my air fresher and emptied it in his room and closed the front window and door. Then went into my room. A few minutes later, the Major comes into my room and asks me to follow him and we go into my friends room. He asks me if his room smells really bad. I looked at the Major and told him that I thought he uses too much sir fresher and that he should probably use a different type. The Major looked at me and said "yeah right and better showers." Nothing was ever said again.

Response by PO2 Eric Tope made Mar 9 at 2016 2:06 PM

2016-03-09T14:06:35-05:00

A classmate of mine received the 'Dear John' letter from his girl back home while in A school, so he decided to take a unique form of revenge. The inspector found a naked picture of his ex in his locker, and hanging over it a condom filled with a dead fish and what he insisted was mayonnaise.

Response by PVT Will Kingston made Mar 9 at 2016 9:35 PM

2016-03-09T21:35:09-05:00

had to help clear out a room of awol females. went through the lockers throwing their clothing in bags. opened one bottom drawer and found 8-10 USED tampons, handful of dirty q-tips, and dirty underwear. looked at their roommates, looked at my sgt and walked out to throw up in the latrine. women are nasty.

Response by SPC Michael Fagan made Mar 10 at 2016 5:10 PM

2016-03-10T17:10:20-05:00

A meth lab, 32 kilos of Coke, firearms, dogs, blow up sex dolls and an entire room filled mold

Response by SSG Sara Marie made Mar 11 at 2016 8:59 AM

2016-03-11T08:59:05-05:00

Prior to the repel of Don't Ask, Don't Tell we were conducting a pre-deployment barracks inspections. In the ceiling of one room we found a large rubber ass and a stack of gay porn. In another room we found two, gallon jugs filled with urine.

Response by SMSgt Todd Grebel made Mar 11 at 2016 11:30 AM

2016-03-11T11:30:20-05:00

Went looking for an Airman who had failed to show for duty after a medical appointment. It was a small airbase, and we check everywhere. Went to his room and knocked but no one answered. So myself and another SNCO broke in in case there was an emergency. Found that this guy had put his bed upright, against the wall and was living on the floor in a sleeping bag. The floor was tiled with used pizza boxes and some of them were being used as an ash tray. And, of course, other trash was scattered everywhere along with balled up clothes (maybe dirty. maybe not).
Ended up circling around back to the club for another check and found him there.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Mar 11 at 2016 10:29 PM

2016-03-11T22:29:58-05:00

A keg in the day room...

Response by A1C Cheyne Estanique made Mar 12 at 2016 12:18 AM

2016-03-12T00:18:08-05:00

I heard of two instances in tech school. The first, a day before inspection an airman bought a gay porn dvd, a blowup doll and lube to play a prank on his roommate and placed it in said roommate's nightstand. You ca imagine how that went. The second, was a female airman who had a collection of sex toys, one of which was freshly used. The NCO doing the inspection found it and said it smelled.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2016 5:32 PM

2016-03-12T17:32:37-05:00

This doesn't relate to what they found it was more what my dumbass decided to say. When I was in the barracks for IT 'A' School I made the decision to stay up and around 0200 there was a knock on the door and I couldn't quite hear what they said. So, me being me, I stated 'Who the fuck is at my door at 2am!' I opened the door to a Senior Chief and he looked at me and proceeded to say 'Your worst fucking nightmare.' Needless to say, I had a lot of cleaning and restoring of my room to do.

Response by SSG Jonathan Kinnamore made Mar 13 at 2016 9:16 AM

2016-03-13T09:16:26-04:00

In 2000 while serving in Korea we had a new private that soiled himself everytime he got stressed, he kept his soiled underwear in a duffle bag in his wall locker.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 13 at 2016 1:48 PM

2016-03-13T13:48:56-04:00

Either 2 liter bottles filled with dip spit or pubes in the microwave.

Response by LTC Mark Hinton made Mar 14 at 2016 8:30 AM

2016-03-14T08:30:37-04:00

My first health and welfare inspection and Stan shafer and drew a female room. I had finished searching the desk drawer
and one of the females pointed out that I hadn't seen her, very large, vibrator; Stan just looked at me and said "check it for BA-30s.

Response by SGT Mathew Husen made Mar 14 at 2016 9:58 AM

2016-03-14T09:58:12-04:00

Let's say I found out one of my soldiers was a cross dresser.

Response by Cpl Donald Cox III made Mar 14 at 2016 12:18 PM

2016-03-14T12:18:11-04:00

It was not me but my regiment uncovered a whole meth ring starting with them making it in the Barracks and shipping it up and down the Cali coast had almost a whole plt involved.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 14 at 2016 4:02 PM

2016-03-14T16:02:38-04:00

Hmmm, I would say the stripper's pole, set up right in the middle of the room. Complete with a small dance floor and even special lighting. I just kept telling myself it was for their workouts.

Response by Emily Bentley made Mar 16 at 2016 12:49 AM

2016-03-16T00:49:43-04:00

While at basic training, one of the females that I shared a bay with had a cell phone. The drill sergeants caught word of it and they tore every single wall locker, foot locker and bunk down. They ripped the trash from the female letrine, dumped MRE's, sand bags, and the contents of everyone's camel packs onto the floor and made everyone roll around in it. Let me just put some emphasis on the part where they threw the trash from the female letrine..... FEMALE; the gender that menstruates.
Another incident occurred with a different female soldier. She liked to spit in gallon sized baggies and hide it under her bunk. She also shaved her head onto her pillow, locked all of her dirty clothes in her foot locker to remain unwashed and smelly, and continuously washed her face with dawn dish soap.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2016 12:51 PM

2016-03-16T12:51:44-04:00

Leadership did a raid of the dorms one day at about 0300. Had everyone from every dorm wait in the parking lot as they raided everything on a surprise inspection. According to a reliable source, 2 of the SF airmen in the dorms (2 separate rooms that shared a bathroom) were using their bathroom to make and hold illegal drugs to sell to other people off base. They thought since they were SF they could get away with it...

Response by SGT Kenneth Curtis made Mar 20 at 2016 1:21 PM

2016-03-20T13:21:43-04:00

When I was stationed at Ft Hood, we got the heads up call on Staff Duty that the CSM was going to do early morning room inspections, I think before PT or right after. Didn't bother me because I was on Staff Duty. Any who, after all was said and done he had found parts of an AR15 scattered amongst a few barracks rooms.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2016 3:33 PM

2016-03-20T15:33:29-04:00

I once inspected a room where we had to open the service members wall locker. Inside the wall locker along with all of their uniforms was every an entire locker of dirty, wet, molding clothing. It turns out that the member never washed their clothes or towels. The just bought new ones and put the old dirty ones in the wall locker. The stench coming out of that wall locker was overpowering. The next room, my inspection partner and I decided to play rock,,paper, scissors to see who got to pick which wall locker we were going to inspect.

Response by SPC John Van Valkenburgh made May 26 at 2016 12:44 PM

2016-05-26T12:44:21-04:00

A good sized bag of narcotics in the air vent. We only knew it was there because we saw plastic peaking out of the vent.

Response by SSG Richard Hackwith made May 26 at 2016 7:24 PM

2016-05-26T19:24:59-04:00

Back in 1967 I was at Fort Irwin on the post rifle team. One morning there was a "shakedown" inspection, as it was called in those days. I was able to get .22 target rifle and .22 target pistol out of my locker and into the trunk of someones cars just in time.

Response by MSgt John McGowan made Aug 29 at 2016 10:57 AM

2016-08-29T10:57:29-04:00

SFC Barracks inspections or always a pain. I had a Airman's OIC come to me about one of his men's room. It was really a relay to me that the Airman got nervous when I inspected and could hardly keep from hitting me. So I offered the officer full responsibility of the room and i would stay out. Needless to say he didn't take me up. Another Airman I had trouble with I could not get the CO to back me with this Airman. So I called EOO and talked to him about it. He took all the inspection reports and I had no more problems with that room. There sre a lot if unusal stories about barracks inspections. Another was a room full of guest during a IG inspection. That one took the cake and got me turned in to the EOO officer.

Response by MSG Stanley Bridges made Sep 4 at 2016 10:21 PM

2016-09-04T22:21:17-04:00

Female I under bef

Response by Cpl John Matthews made Sep 6 at 2016 9:45 PM

2016-09-06T21:45:26-04:00

There are just too many craziest things to list

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Jun 29 at 2018 10:42 PM

2018-06-29T22:42:21-04:00

1SG Private RallyPoint Member Did you ever paint a unit logo on the Rockpile at NTC? My ‘artist’ escaped that chore. However, he made a great depiction of a ‘Sidewinder’ for ‘our’ 4/160 Mech Inf Bn, 40 ID which was silk screened everwhere.

Response by SSG Brian Carpenter made Jul 14 at 2018 10:40 AM

2018-07-14T10:40:40-04:00

Soldier in Germany was so nasty that there were used condoms under his bed and he didn't have any girlfriends if you get my meaning. There were others like a giant tube of ky and used and unclean toys in a females room. My two worst right there.

Response by SPC Gary Welch made Jul 15 at 2018 1:34 PM

2018-07-15T13:34:44-04:00

In our barracks in Germany we had so many people smoking dope that when they brought the dogs in to do a health and welfare they couldn't come past the door to the main hallway

Response by 1SG Randy Book made Jul 16 at 2018 3:14 PM

2018-07-16T15:14:13-04:00

Unannounced H&W, soldier passed out in shower with blow up doll, shower still running. I just reached over and turned on cold water and left. Never said anything to him except next morning asked him how his evening went.

Response by CW2 Kenneth Nolen made Jul 19 at 2018 6:47 PM

2018-07-19T18:47:17-04:00

As Officer of the Day in Germany I once found several soldiers roasting hot dogs over a charcoal fire built in a broken and dry toilet bowl in the barracks. Needless to say it was exciting for a while.

Response by MSgt James Vercher made Aug 3 at 2018 12:01 PM

2018-08-03T12:01:10-04:00

In 1978 I was assigned Customs duty for 90 days to inspect goods being shipped home at the end of their tour. I got to inspect both Single and Married quarters so this may not be on topic. I arrived at this one family unit and the husband and wife were ready. The wife was a bit nervous about me going into this one room. Red Flag. I start my inspection there and found all manners of sex toys and sex outfits for the wife whips, ball gags etc. Poking around I found what must have been 100 super 8 home movies. The young E-5 kind of hangs his head and starts to set up the projector. Turns out he had all these movies of his wife with other guys and maybe 1000 slides. I just walked out and never said a word.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 4 at 2018 11:19 AM

2018-08-04T11:19:49-04:00

The first field day after I got promoted to Sgt (I was a single Sgt in the barracks, this was 2013) I was walking around and we had new Marines to the battery. I just wanted to pop in make sure nothing negative going on, because I didn't want to hear about it, also had PCS orders. I saw them using bleach to clean the head with their gasmasks on. I walked in, they give me a motivated greeting. I respond and inform them that the gas mask would be useless for chlorine. One of them responded: well this is awkward.

Response by SFC Bosun Frusher made Aug 5 at 2018 9:45 PM

2018-08-05T21:45:56-04:00

I had a female troop how had a wading pool complete with a dozen or so yellow plastic duckies
(You can’t make this stuff up

Response by SFC Bosun Frusher made Aug 5 at 2018 9:48 PM

2018-08-05T21:48:30-04:00

Had a cook who wanted to be an undertaker. An inspection of his room yielded an embalmed frog is a suit in a miniature coffin.
And you guys think you had problem troops

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 26 at 2018 5:09 PM

2018-09-26T17:09:13-04:00

You really don’t want to know....do you?
If “yes”; PM me as it is probably does not meet the “community standards” here. Lol!
As an NCO, I’ve seen a lot n the Barracks.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 8:08 PM

2019-02-06T20:08:04-05:00

You really don’t want to know!

Response by SPC Greg Campbell made Mar 4 at 2019 8:42 PM

2019-03-04T20:42:41-05:00

come on guys. AGI, woke up a gosh who knows what time. he was brassoing his Houka.next morning we got picked to do the room inspection and uniform inspection. one guy had to stay in the room, well it was our houka polisher. crazy bastard had set it up on the fridge for display. they broke ranks and sent us in to hurry up and wait. I spotted this thing and said 'your fucking kidding Ken' Top walks in and spots it, his eyes get big and he posts himself in front of it.and blocks the inspectors view. we pass(?), and they leave. as he is hurrying out the door we get the glare. I told him again 'what the fuck!!!!' any way roomie lost part of his ass from the reaming he got. on a off note the inspector mentioned his daughter had the same Animal on her bed at home as I did. AGIs were the biggest waste of time.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2019 11:40 PM

2019-03-04T23:40:55-05:00

i never did hw inspections but i know me and a couple battles always hide whiskey bottles in the vents with a pair of mma gloves while we were at fort lee

Response by SSgt Catherine Cullen made Mar 5 at 2019 11:19 AM

2019-03-05T11:19:23-05:00

Room had been completely black and bed replaced with coffin

Response by CPL Kevin Carns made Mar 5 at 2019 11:33 AM

2019-03-05T11:33:35-05:00

A Komodo Dragon and drum fed 12 gauge. Said made man in the E4 mafia is now a recently retired SGM.

Response by SrA Kevin Piatek made Mar 5 at 2019 12:24 PM

2019-03-05T12:24:11-05:00

I was never high enough rank to do room instruction but our First Sargent told us a story where a meth lab was found. The only reason they found it was that the people next to it complained about the smell

Response by SFC Jeffrey Franklin made Mar 5 at 2019 1:53 PM

2019-03-05T13:53:23-05:00

My 1SG came to get me, after he was walking through th barracks one weekday. He took me into the room, everything looked fine until I turned the corner. There on the bed was one of my soldiers, special toy. I laughed, and at formation told my soldiers we had a quick walk through the rooms, everything was pretty neat, and clean. However they need to put away personal items when they leave.

Response by LCpl Jason Keiser made Mar 5 at 2019 2:32 PM

2019-03-05T14:32:47-05:00

A dear hanging from a makeshift shower rod going through the taxidermy process.

Response by 1SG Roland Huson made Mar 5 at 2019 4:32 PM

2019-03-05T16:32:18-05:00

One of my female PFCs, prettier than most, had leg irons and shackles anchored to her bed along with an assortment of “toys” and a book about perfecting her oral technique. Actually made a 40-year old man blush a bit.

Response by SSG Brian Edwards made Mar 5 at 2019 6:00 PM

2019-03-05T18:00:23-05:00

In Germany, a 30 mm HE round was found on a book shelf. They we're going to use it for a center peice for a going away present. Said they didn't know it was a live HE round.

Response by SGT Steve Davis made Mar 5 at 2019 6:12 PM

2019-03-05T18:12:36-05:00

Piss bottles when the latrine was right next door to his room!!!

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Mar 5 at 2019 7:43 PM

2019-03-05T19:43:08-05:00

I had a guy in my squad in Basic use a black magic marker to "Clean" his M16 we were up all night really cleaning every weapon

Response by SPC Rick LaBonte made Mar 5 at 2019 8:56 PM

2019-03-05T20:56:52-05:00

During an open room/open wall locker inspection in AIT, the 1SG found a inflatable sex doll in one guy’s locker! We didn’t ask if it had signs of use

Response by SPC Emerson Budreau made Mar 6 at 2019 11:04 AM

2019-03-06T11:04:26-05:00

In Iraq we had a sensitive item come up missing, so they went through everything. Through the tents 3-4 times, the motor pool, several connex layouts. What was missing was a CROW system. It was eventually located, just blows my mind they were looking underneath beds for it...

Anyways this is when they found out a couple soldiers were huffing canned air, they opened the plywood door to his room, and 6-7 cans rolled out before anyone set foot in. I think 20+ cans in all.

Another time back at Benning I had the nastiest roommate. At least he listened when I said it was time to clean. I had a girlfriend off post so I was gone for the weekend, and came back to a health and Welfare after PT, my section of the room was spotless, but he went on a World of Warcraft binge. Food boxes, bed was stripped and looked like he was sleeping with only his woobie (makes me wonder if he pissed the bed), clothes everywhere, microwave had something blow up in it, and I think he was trying to see how many bowel movements he could make without flushing. When our PSG showed up, he had it a little better, but it didn’t save him. They even pulled his bed away from the wall, and there was a happy sock stuck to the wall. Fortunately I wasn’t punished with him. He got the privilege to remove everything from his side of the room down the stairs and into the quad, and set up his room for an inspection outside, deep clean the room, then put it all back into the room. He then married a 16 year old and moved out of the barracks. Always late to formation, used the excuse that the power had gone out, but he had stolen by battery powered alarm clock from the room, and I was walking right behind him when he was using that excuse, so I walked up to his squad leader and said, “Pardon me Staff Sergeant ________, I believe I just heard him say his alarm went out? That’s funny because the one he stole from me was battery powered.” He got to run bases in the Georgia clay all day. His uniform was orange by the time they were done. Shortly after I PCS’ed I heard tale that he had been given some sort of failure to adapt discharge even though he had been well over 180 days.

Sorry I got off topic there, haven’t posted in a while, and I really hated that roommate. Cheers!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2019 11:47 AM

2019-03-06T11:47:01-05:00

During a health, comfort and welfare inspection of our BEQ in 13 area of Camp Pendleton, a Motorcycle undergoing a full overhaul and fully stripped down was found in a room on the 1st floor. BEQ 1398.

Response by SPC Charlie Msrtin made Mar 6 at 2019 12:31 PM

2019-03-06T12:31:14-05:00

One night after I got off duty, went back to my barracks and met up with my GF who changed into my uniform. Unit CO nknocks on my door. GF answers and CO answers, oh and turns around and walks away

Response by 1SG James Laycock made Mar 6 at 2019 1:04 PM

2019-03-06T13:04:01-05:00

A real human schull

Response by SFC Bill Kurtz made Mar 6 at 2019 5:33 PM

2019-03-06T17:33:24-05:00

Navy friend of mine told me this one. The first class petty officers were sent to go through rooms while the sailors were outside in formation. A PO1 hung his head out the window and called out “Hey Chief. What are we looking for?” The chief told him drugs, booze, and weapons. The first class hangs a two foot long double headed dildo out the window saying “Looks like this will hurt.”

Response by LCpl Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2019 8:07 PM

2019-03-06T20:07:20-05:00

We had a Marine hide in the coffin during field day in a female Marines room. Needless to say he got caught by the Gunny. They were both NJP'd.

Response by SPC Gary Welch made Mar 6 at 2019 10:17 PM

2019-03-06T22:17:36-05:00

We had a plt Sgt that was a huge gun nut just like me and my roommates were and all we had to do was throw a guns and ammo or other gun magazine on the table and he wouldn't even inspect our room

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2019 8:03 AM

2019-03-07T08:03:59-05:00

Every time there is a room inspection, all the NCO's in my company stop by my room. I have pictures of my left lung up on my wall. It had to be removed march '18 be cause a rare strain of the strep virus was making it rot inside my chest

Response by SPC Jeremy Morgan made Mar 7 at 2019 9:56 AM

2019-03-07T09:56:27-05:00

We had a guy that the CSM was irritated with, so he'd inspect his room almost daily. The guy got sick and tired of the CSM picking on him. So one day he had some pictures developed, and put them in his personal drawer. When the CSM inspected that day, he noticed the pictures, turned beet red, started mumbling and shaking his head, and left never to return to that soldier's room again.
The pictures were of the guy having sex with an inflatable sheep. You could see any private parts, but one of the pictures had the sheep suspended in mid air, and his hands weren't anywhere near it.

Response by SGT Nathan Hanna made Mar 7 at 2019 10:17 AM

2019-03-07T10:17:31-05:00

I was on CQ once and somebody had gone down to the local zoo to kidnap an animal. They released the peacock in the barracks just before first formation.

Response by COL Rick White made Mar 7 at 2019 11:54 AM

2019-03-07T11:54:17-05:00

Male pubic hair in an open jar of Vaseline.

Response by SGT Lloyd Burge made Mar 7 at 2019 11:37 PM

2019-03-07T23:37:26-05:00

We had a private being chaptered out. Just before the CG's walkthrough inspection our battery commander did his inspection. Inside this PVTs wall locker the commander found a dead squirrel. When the commander asked him why he had a dead squirrel in his wall locker the PVT said, "Sir, I am going to take it home and show it to my mom."

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 8 at 2019 8:24 PM

2019-03-08T20:24:56-05:00

Ok...WORST CASE SENARIO....that landed a SPC (E-4) inFederal Prison after court martial.... brace yourself. .....

This “Soldier” was masterbating ( & high on something); as we walked in AFTER announcing ourselves, (male and female NCOs); to Kiddy Porn.

Yup!

Got him 15 in slammer, minus time served, and he had to register as sex offender. And a dishonorable discharge and reduction to E-1 and forfeiture of all pay.

Now THAT is bad! Beat that! Lol!

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Mar 14 at 2019 3:03 PM

2019-03-14T15:03:31-04:00

A naked person in a wall-locker.

Response by SPC Scott Domogalla made Mar 20 at 2019 10:41 AM

2019-03-20T10:41:12-04:00

Not a room inspection, but well. I was ca and we had a guy that was sleeping with another’s wife. The guy got drunk and started chasing the guy with a medieval mace. The one that was sleeping with the wife came running down the stairs hollering he is trying to kill me. Next thing I know, I am confronted with this guy with the mace. Told my pfc to call the mp’s. Mean while, I held the guy off with a mop. Finally knocked him down with the mop and held him with pain compliance. Top messed with me the whole week. Qualified expert with a mop.

Response by CSM David Porterfield made Mar 20 at 2019 3:30 PM

2019-03-20T15:30:14-04:00

As an Infantry Advisor on an ETT team at a remote FOB in Afghanistan 2006 I walked through my Afghan Soldiers "mud huts" to inspect for cleanliness and found a sheep, yes a white fluffy sheep, in a Platoon Sergeants room. Haha He admitted he was having sex with it and tried to justify it. I made them slaughter it to eat. When I went back to my teammates they asked what i was yelling about and you should have seen the look on their faces when I told them. The next day they tried to give me a plate of sheep & rice for lunch. I politely refused. Just cant make this crap up. Only in Afghanistan.

Response by SSG Victor Stobie made Mar 20 at 2019 3:44 PM

2019-03-20T15:44:00-04:00

While in Germany, I had a Chuckie doll from the movie hanging by a rope with a noose in the corner of the room. The SGM came in and told me to take it down because it was racist. I said "But it's a white doll" He didn't think it was funny.

Response by LTC William Lee Jr made Mar 20 at 2019 5:05 PM

2019-03-20T17:05:58-04:00

As a young 2LT stationed in Germany, was pulling SDO one weekend (Saturday-Sunday); my replacement had arrived and we were conducting our walk-thru so he could relieve me. We were checking out rooms in one of the company barracks when we could hear female voices coming from one of the rooms. As we were an Infantry battalion, the only females on post were either the female Soldiers from the Support Battalion or someone's daughter dependent. We knocked on the room door and all 'HELL' broke loose. You could hear bodies trying to scramble out the window; my replacement ran down the hall so he could catch whoever was climbing out of the window. I opened the room door and felt something brush my leg as it exited the room. Looking down the hall, expecting to see a dog or something similar, I saw a woman WITH NO LEGS propelling herself down the hall using her arms. I shouted to the company CQ to stop her. She was a local German girl; seems she and her girlfriend had stopped by to visit some of the Soldiers and stayed overnight. She actually pulled herself up into the room from outside (something some of the Solders could not do when we tested them). It was both incredible and weird. I actually ran into her at a local German club two weeks later.

Response by A1C Robert Babcock made Mar 21 at 2019 3:35 PM

2019-03-21T15:35:46-04:00

Airman Tran was a little a-hole in my BMT flight who routinely got caught with contraband. The real reason we all hated him is because he was the chow hall monitor and couldn't get his shit together enough to insure we weren't last to eat at just about every meal. Our TI threatened us with separation if we threw this guy a blanket party and we believed it.
The best thing he got caught with at inspection was a hand held tape recorder. Apparently he was recording the TI to see if he could catch him saying something so he could use it against him.

Airman Tran got a medical separation before graduation.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2019 6:26 PM

2019-03-21T18:26:17-04:00

I found a "Ma Deuce" barrel in some clown's wall locker.

Response by MSgt Charlie Morris made Mar 24 at 2019 10:31 PM

2019-03-24T22:31:06-04:00

In my first hitch at Travis AFB, My roomy and I belonged to the on-base sport parachute club. Our lockers had our back and chest packs neatly on display with MA-1A Pilot chutes festooning the walla and our French Paraboots all spit-shined and on display along with our safety gear.

Response by SGT Robert Hawks made Mar 30 at 2019 10:33 PM

2019-03-30T22:33:16-04:00

Went into a private’s room during 1SG’s inspection with the platoon Sergeant and first found several bras and thongs stuffed behind his wall locker. Needless to say this was not a good day for my squad. This was back in 1986 when things where not as tolerant as they are today.

Response by SPC James Seigars made Apr 1 at 2019 3:28 AM

2019-04-01T03:28:22-04:00

Just before I retired in 2012 I worked with an AIT Battalion in a post in Alabama and was made the BN barracks inspector for five buildings. I walked in to do my inspection and the first thing I noticed was a strange smell in the room. The second thing was a PIECE OF CARPET about 5x5 ft GLUED TO THE WALL. I inspected that room and went to the next and smelled & saw the same thing. Come to find out EVERY ROOM in all five buildings was like this. I pulled back one of the pieces of carpet and found GREEN MOLD growing on the walls. I ended up having to condemn the buildings temporarily until the Battalion got a renovation budget approved. The AIT had to make do with one barracks being empty for two years until all the moldy carpet was gone and the rooms had been renovated in all five buildings. After that I was sent to Maryland and when my CoC found out about what happened in Alabama they had me Inspect our barracks since personnel were getting sick (headaches, respiratory problems, etc) on the lower floors. I found out why very quickly. The barracks had been used for an infantry unit before being used for PAO students and they had left the old vault in the basement where it had become damp and was about to literally fall to the floor (I was surprised it hadn’t already due to it’s weight, but the wall was somehow holding it up at about a 10 to 20 degree angle). I ended up also condemning that building and the class there at the time was the last one to use that building (of course the CoC had to move some of the personnel from the first two floors to other rooms). After that cycle the Marines who were in PAO training moved to brand new barracks and the Army students coming in took over the Marines old building (it was still a lot newer than the one we were in). Ours was from the 1940’s (the last one in use from what I was told) and theirs from the 1970’s or 1980’s. After that I went back to Alabama and retired from there two years later.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 9 at 2019 1:36 PM

2019-04-09T13:36:08-04:00

One of my favorites was an old bottle of breast milk and used condoms under my (former) Soldier's roommates desk. The best was when I found said former soldier face down, a** up with an empty liquor bottle where the sun didn't shine...

Response by SGT(P) Graciano "George" Etrata made Apr 29 at 2019 7:59 AM

2019-04-29T07:59:27-04:00

This thread is worthless without pics in the comments. I have to see this crazy artwork :-)

Response by SPC James Saylor made Apr 29 at 2019 11:34 PM

2019-04-29T23:34:53-04:00

During a command inspection there was a drawer that was shaking profusely for no apparent reason. It was unsecure so the Chief of firing battery opened it; inside was a satanic book which belonged to my room mate, he was on sick call at the time. Our CO, Frist Sergeant and COF left our room so fast that there was smoke coming off there rear ends. When they left, the drawer stopped shaking.

Response by MSgt Joseph Holness made May 1 at 2019 10:02 AM

2019-05-01T10:02:03-04:00

Well I'd have to say the craziest thing I remember from a barracks Inspection was getting "ding'd" for there being dust on a Model Tank that was on my desk.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2019 2:04 PM

2019-05-01T14:04:03-04:00

The Sergeant Major's daughter hiding in a wall locker.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2019 2:08 PM

2019-05-01T14:08:11-04:00

The Supply Clerk had a loaded 9 mm Berelli hidden under a towel. He had stolen it from the arms room, and the company didn't even know it was missing.

Response by MSgt Stephanie McCalister made May 3 at 2019 12:05 PM

2019-05-03T12:05:27-04:00

Do my own quarters count? Worst thing the 1Sgt ever found in my room was dust ... Female, at the time divorced, & an E-6, so I had my own space with a bathroom. As aircrew, I was sometimes gone for 2-3 weeks on missions ... so this one time, I came back to find there was a spot inspection, & I'd been written up for dust! Like who was I going to get (or trust!) to go into my room to DUST for 2-3 weeks! I told him next time I was going, I'd stop by & give him a copy of my orders & letter requesting he dust my room while I was away on mission .. & cc our CO to make sure he complied! I was never again written up for DUST (or anything else for that matter)!

Response by Col Jonathan Brazee made May 5 at 2019 3:32 PM

2019-05-05T15:32:00-04:00

I had a ferret in my room at the Naval Academy. No one ever found it during an inspection, but someone eventually turned me in.

As a lieutenant in Third Recon, I was conducting an inspection, and in the wall locker of one of my sergeants was a magazine. I looked at it, and I wasn't sure what surpised me more: the image of a carefully posed naked woman who had to weigh 500 lbs or the price tag of $49. I looked up at him, and he just said, "I likes 'em big, sir."

I just put it back and finished the inspection.

Response by LTC Ronald Stephens made May 5 at 2019 7:41 PM

2019-05-05T19:41:51-04:00

A pet tarantula that had gotten loose and was parked in the middle of the floor. I guess its not uncommon for them to be kept as pets but as one who has a phobia with any living thing with more than 4 legs and is larger than a ladybug I damn near wet myself. In VN I woke up with a sand spider the size of the palm of my hand on my mosquito net right over my chest. I fished my .45 off of my footlocker and shot that sob. Fixed the hole in the mosquito net with tape and cut a bung for the hole in the overhead of the hooch.

Response by MSgt Robert Edwards made May 6 at 2019 11:20 AM

2019-05-06T11:20:49-04:00

Twice I moved into barracks on a Friday and promptly on Monday was summoned to the First Sargents office and told that the barracks, and especially the room I shared with two others was a disgrace. At this point I agreed with him and informed him that if he could’t shape up HIS barracks not to expect me too. Also I had located an empty single room down the hall and would appreciate being assigned to that room ASAP. I moved that afternoon.
On the second occasion I was assigned space in an open bay Quonset Hut with one pot bellied oil heater. Same story Monday morning. It turned out I was assigned there because my wife was following me in 60 days and they didn’t want to give a room in the multistory barracks to someone on a temporary basis.

Response by SGT Frances Greenamyer made May 7 at 2019 3:00 PM

2019-05-07T15:00:04-04:00

I was a WAC and our barracks latrine for females only had urinals so we put down mesh screens then rocks then dirt and planted flowers. Top walked in so them on inspection and walked back out mumbling.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 8 at 2019 1:19 AM

2019-05-08T01:19:39-04:00

Besides a Remington 700 30.06 rifle in a SGT's wall locker?

Response by SGT John Creager made May 15 at 2019 7:39 PM

2019-05-15T19:39:56-04:00

My X-wife.

Response by SSG Byron Howard Sr made Jun 2 at 2019 9:38 PM

2019-06-02T21:38:06-04:00

A nude girl in a wall locker. The CO, 1st SGT, PLT SGT, and me. Took us all by supprised.

Response by SSG Byron Howard Sr made Jun 2 at 2019 10:30 PM

2019-06-02T22:30:49-04:00

At work one day the 1st SGT told me him, the CO, the BN CSM, and BN Commander had done a room inspection in the NCO barracks. This is what they found in my room. Top told me that everyone said I had a nice bike.

Response by COL Michael Custer made Jun 4 at 2019 2:36 PM

2019-06-04T14:36:42-04:00

About 1977 at Ft Bliss our company was doing a barracks inspection. We NCO‘s went to the back of the barracks and watched about a dozen hands pop pitifully the windows dumping their pot. Lol.

Response by SSgt Gerald Davis Jr made Jun 8 at 2019 9:42 PM

2019-06-08T21:42:00-04:00

When the barracks was a squad bay we had a guy at Camp Pendletons that kept tarantulas in his foot locker.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 9 at 2019 12:35 AM

2019-06-09T00:35:47-04:00

When I was an acting PSG, the CSM called all the platoon sergeants to the barracks. He decided we would go through random rooms for inspections together so that we were all on the same page in regard to his expectations. When we get to one of the random rooms of my platoon, he chooses the room of one of my new Soldiers. To my knowledge this Soldier was not an issue, until about twenty seconds after this moment. We enter the room and the stench of cat pee mixed with kitty litter was overwhelming. We hear this crazy noise and see two tiny kittens run out of her closet. We then open the closet to see a mama cat surrounded by the remaining kittens. Turns out the Soldier rescued a cat along the road and brought it back to her barracks room. She didn’t know it, but the cat was very close to giving birth to a litter.

Response by SGT Jamie Mackin made Jun 9 at 2019 2:04 PM

2019-06-09T14:04:53-04:00

I was @ Ft Jackson SC with very few females we had to do bed checks & when entering the male floors we had to yell out “FEMALE ON THE FLOOR” The drill Sergeant that accompanied me had a quirky kind of humor & flashed his light on this one soldier & flipped down his cover & asked him very loudly what are doing hitchhiking under the covers. Not sure who was the most embarrassed but us females had a good laugh!

Response by SSG Shawn Mcfadden made Jun 10 at 2019 10:14 AM

2019-06-10T10:14:38-04:00

When I was stationed in Germany, one of the Soldiers that lived in a different room in the Barracks, had a chandelier in his room.

Response by SPC Mike Miller made Jun 10 at 2019 10:45 AM

2019-06-10T10:45:06-04:00

Mine was not to weird. But I had a kiddy pool in my room filled to the top with water. I am pretty sure I started the no kiddy pool in the barracks Friday safety brief. Lol

Response by MAJ Lou Giamo made Jun 10 at 2019 8:34 PM

2019-06-10T20:34:26-04:00

Okay, I was the XO of the Bn HHC for my last 6 months in Korea. As such I was in charge of assigning all incoming officers their barracks rooms. Our Support Plt Ldr PCS'd and paid his house boy to clean the room. The house boy came to me looking like he'd just seen a ghost. In the closet was a case of hand grenades, a box of .50 cal., and several boxes of 5.56 that had never been turned in after range training.

Response by SGT Fredrick Ramm made Jun 16 at 2019 10:17 AM

2019-06-16T10:17:41-04:00

OK, it was 1971, and a bunch (a real group) of weird stuff was going down in the barracks in (then) West Germany...all depending on what subject you want to talk about. One day while standing out on the company street in front of the barrack at Headquarters Company of The 1st Battalion 35th Armor in Ferris Barracks, Erlangen, a buddy calls down to me, out the window, from the third floor: "Hey, Freddy, I've got a friend of mine, from home, in the room, I would like you to meet."
Getting up to the third floor, Joe (perhaps that was his name!?) opens the door, and there is this guy, kind of hippyish type, bunked out on the floor. Joe says, "this is John, from my town (some where in California!) we where drafted together!"
THINKING...Then saying: "Ah!! you where both drafted together? and you have only been in this unit for 6 months?" "Mmm, he's a draft dodger? vagabonding around Europe?!?! This is American Territory, get him out of here before he gets lynched or arrested."

Response by LCpl Cody Collins made Jun 19 at 2019 10:02 AM

2019-06-19T10:02:07-04:00

The craziest thing I Scene was a half naked African American female run out of this Marines room, just prior to it being inspected. The Lt. Was in the other room inspecting the racks of these other Marines. As he exited that room, he stopped and looked at yours truly as this babe runs out of my room half naked the other way . I just stood at attention looking straight ahead. Turns out, she convinced the fire watch to let her in, so she could surprise me! Who knew???

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 28 at 2019 6:43 AM

2019-06-28T06:43:54-04:00

A long time ago, I knew an airman that was operating a bar out of his dorm room, it was quite popular on weekends because his drinks were cheaper than at the club on base. I also remember an individual who had a bathtub still in his dorm in tech school. Then there is the airman who had a fully filled out range card hanging under his window. Along with all the other normal gross stuff, we always find interesting things during dorm inspections.

Response by COL Patrick Slowey made Jul 1 at 2019 10:31 PM

2019-07-01T22:31:32-04:00

When I was a Combat Support Company Commander in Germany, I "discovered" a rubber "model" of a female breast (one each) placed in the mini fridge in the room of one of my Scouts. The Scouts in question had the decency to place said breast on a plate. Other than the breast, there was no rotting food in the fridge and the room passed inspection.

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made Jul 8 at 2019 10:34 AM

2019-07-08T10:34:05-04:00

A shoebox full of condom wrappers. Just the wrappers and the box was stuffed.

Response by SPC Robert Albino made Jul 12 at 2019 8:48 AM

2019-07-12T08:48:07-04:00

Back in 1979, a soldier had a "KLAN" Outfit in his locker and it was brought up to the commander....Well! That said's it all.....

Response by GySgt W Graham made Jul 15 at 2019 4:58 PM

2019-07-15T16:58:40-04:00

LOL.....I was in an open squad bay in a building condemned 10 years before I joined the Marine Corps. Had to pick up Corporal to get to the NCO section of the open squad bay that was blocked off to Pvt to LCpl. Sergeants got a two man room and very senior Sergeants got a room by themselves. Guess that is old Corps now.... We still had quonset huts on Camp Pendleton that Marines lived in.....

Response by MSgt Thelbert (Whitey) Roark made Jul 15 at 2019 8:51 PM

2019-07-15T20:51:55-04:00

Back when I was a SSgt stationed at Fuchu AS, Japan I shared a room with another SSgt. We were lucky because these were large rooms designed originally for four or more people, and as such had some nice large built-in wall lockers. Hard to tell when it was built because a lot of the buildings on that little Air Station predated WWII. Anyway, our First Shirt was conducting a surprise inspection early one morning and everything was going fine until he opened one of the spare lockers. My room mates girlfriend stepped out of the locker, brushed by an open mouthed 1st Sgt and ran out the door. The inspection ended at that time. The 1st Shirt shook his head and walked out of the room. 1st Sgt Hudson, surprisingly, never mentioned it again, but "The Hud" cut us a lot less slack in our future inspections. Good times.

Response by MAJ William Maurer made Jul 16 at 2019 9:50 AM

2019-07-16T09:50:07-04:00

As the new "Company Commander" of the Fort Knox NCO Academy (Yes, this was awhile ago), I was a 1st Lt and the troops were E-5 and above, I went into my first barracks inspection. All was to be the same, each foot locker, each wall locker. And as I walked through with my head down and my eyes on the gear, one stood out. No tooth brush, no hair brush or comb! Wow! And as I looked up there was a toothless and bald E-7 smiling at me. It was a great and learning experience. As it all was.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2019 10:17 AM

2019-07-16T10:17:34-04:00

Wasnt actually see per se but we did hide booze above the ceiling tiles (due to tooany figjts we were banned from drinking)

Response by SSG Wayne Wood made Jul 17 at 2019 12:12 AM

2019-07-17T00:12:57-04:00

I remember finding something like 10,000 D&D figures in a troop's wall locker when he went on leave and I had to inventory his gear. I busted a guy for growing pot on his window sill in a number 10 can.

The funniest thing I ever heard was a guy in my unit who went "odd" over in Germany in the 70s. He was a cook and worked odd hours and often his room got passed over during barracks inspections because of the night baker or something like that. In my unit in Germany, each battery had its own assigned Mess Section who stayed in our barracks.

Anyway, he'd gone into town and bought a canary and cage for his barracks room. The Battery Commander got wind of it and ordered him to get rid of it. Before he could manage that he came back to his room one evening after work to find it dead.

About that time there was a Bn CSM room inspection. Word had gotten around about the guy's pet, but everyone figured with the canary dead it was over. So, when the CSM came in and saw the cage still in the room with the cover on he waked over to it and pulled the cover off to discover a bat hanging upside down from the swing.

The CSM said he'd been in the Army 28 years and had seen all kinds of pets, puppies, dogs, cats, snakes, lizards... but never a bat!

Just remembered a guy we had in the 82nd in the 80s, he didn't work out anywhere so when Top got a request for someone to work the mess hall Top sent him on over. I guess he figured he could do no harm washing dishes. As for myself, I didn't know I felt warm and fuzzy about him being near food.

As he was only attached to the mess hall and Headquarters Battery didn't have room for him he stayed in our barracks. There were days when he was off he would stand in his window while Top read the orders of the day. One day he produced a crossbow and stood in the window aiming it at Top, who had his back to the barracks and grinning crazily at us. Of course the crossbow was contraband and a bunch of us NCOs charged up the steps to the second floor. We busted into his room to see him sitting on his bed innocently as we tore his room up looking for that crossbow.

It happened at least twice more; we got to where as soon as he appeared with it we'd make the mad dash upstairs to his room. We took apart his locker, searched the ceiling tiles, checked the floor, the bricks in the wall, his mattress - even changed out his mattress. We couldn't find the bow or figure out how he was able to hide it in such a short time. After awhile he stopped playing the crossbow game.

I was an E-5 at the time and one weekend after payday I was sitting the desk on CQ when this guy came up in civilian clothes, identified himself as CID and wanted to know if we had a guy by the name of our guy in the unit. To make a long story short I had to wake up the Battery Commander and First Sergeant and get them to come in. The CID guy said he had busted our fellow trying to score plutonium down on Bragg Blvd and theree was reason to believe our guy was building a bomb.

Sure enough we found some sort of device in some number 10 cans hidden in the guy's locker; I don't know if it would work or not - but it sure impressed me. The CID guy took it and went down to have a long talk with the Battery Commander and First Sergeant. I never heard of the guy again or found out what came of him.

To my knowledge no one ever found that crossbow either - even after his belongings were shipped out. The last ten years or so they've been tearing down our old barracks in the old 82nd Abn Division Area on Ft Bragg; the parking lot to the new Division HQs stands where our old barracks used to be.

I wonder if the construction workers found it when they were tearing the building down.

Response by SFC Quinn Chastant made Jul 17 at 2019 2:42 PM

2019-07-17T14:42:13-04:00

Back in the 1970's and 80's we were getting health and welfare inspections on a recurring basis. It finally got to the point where you could practically predict when those would occur. Schnitzel runs at 22:30 before the Schnell Imbiss stands closed for the last Bratwursts sold and those were placed in the lockers for the drug dogs to key on, was a recurrent E4 Mafia Action.

Maybe the 5' tall fluorescent marihuana Leaf that glowed under UV light in a room was a crowning achievement. It had been painted onto the sealed cinder block wall, and then the surface removed so it looked like a speckled finish until lighted.

Then there was a pallet load of empty beer bottles we were told to take back, that was good for about two more cases of Bitburger Pilsner Bier.

A working and fully scenic and detailed N Scale German Model Train layout under a raised bunk.

Hell who knows what other glorious WTF Items were found.

Response by Sgt Joshua Jordan made Jul 18 at 2019 9:47 PM

2019-07-18T21:47:12-04:00

Late to the party. A burnt room. Earlier in the week a fire broke out in one of the rooms. Thankfully the Marine was on leave. It was caused by an electrical fire but the fire was contained on the bed. During the inspections I was curious to see the room so I went in and the smoke damage was something else. Everything was damaged. The only thing burnt was the bed. I was amazed how the fire didn’t spread as it burned for quite a while.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 19 at 2019 6:56 PM

2019-07-19T18:56:53-04:00

I generally don't stay in barracks that much, but when I do, some of the craziest things I've seen was another SPC with a Keurig Coffee Maker. He brings cups and everything to give the whole floor a cup of coffee before morning formation. He makes it worth getting up lacing up the boots and marching off to go get the chow hall's 15W40 coffee that they could use in the motorpool too. He was well liked on the floor as was a great motivational SPC. He helped make the barracks a little more bearable and it never went unappreciated.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2019 12:31 AM

2019-07-20T00:31:53-04:00

I once found several adult toys and a blow up doll in the barracks of a male soldier in my unit. Let me tell you, the doll was taller than he was. The toys, well, some of them would have put most men to shame. And the kid wasn't even dating! We had only been back from a deployment for about three days! Needless to say, I was more than a little bewildered.

Response by SP5 Kent Robinson made Jul 21 at 2019 11:32 AM

2019-07-21T11:32:38-04:00

Found a firing pin for an M2 HB 50 cal squirreled away in the armorer’s foot locker. Further investigation found that the kid had been shipping other parts home of a 50 ca... didn’t go to well for the kid. That was in ‘74 or ‘75. He may still be in Leavenworth.

Response by PO1 Mike Wallace made Jul 21 at 2019 3:05 PM

2019-07-21T15:05:00-04:00

In the 70's the search for drugs on ships was full steam ahead. Dogs were used abx we gad a surprise search show up on our quarterdeck. I was the acting chief master at arms because the actual CMAA was on leave. One MAA went with each team. They even went to the chiefs quarters which I accompanied. The dogs lit off on the Chief Boatswain Mates locker. We got him down to open it and when he did it was full of various alcohol based stuff from hair tonic to listerine and a few of the smaller airline type bottles of alcohol.
He had been in for way over 30 years and never made E8. The Captain gave him the choice of retiring or going to Captains Mast with a promise of reduction in grade. He took retirement. I heard he didn't live much longer but don't know that for sure.

Response by SGT Frank Vega made Jul 23 at 2019 11:37 PM

2019-07-23T23:37:04-04:00

What we hid in the roof space: beer and wine.

Response by Amn Bob Lemings made Jul 24 at 2019 9:28 AM

2019-07-24T09:28:03-04:00

Chanute AFB. Rantoul Il. 1981. All the dorms on this base were circa WWII and were cinder block with an ugly green asbestos tile. There was still a lot of Marijuana use in the ranks at that time. Surprise Inspections and dog searches happened regularly. Back note : this area grew hemp for rope during WWII and it still grew wild on the field edges and along the creeks.
A new airman showed up for school and after the 1st dog show. He got with some of the other smokers . They went and picked a bunch of hemp. brought it back on base and dried it . This guy had a plan to mix copious amounts of the dried hemp into the floor wax when we did the weekly GI of the stair landings and hallways. Remember the GREEN floors? they mixed up the wax . we laid it down and buffed it. You couldn't see it against the color of the floor. Did that for 2 weeks before the next surprise dog show. The SP brought the dog into the dorm and it went totally Bat Shit Crazy. All it could smell was weed. They tried with 2 other dogs with the same result. they knew something was up but never could figure it out. I Transferred out 12 weeks later and as far as i know they had not had a successful search when i left.

Response by SPC William Rogers made Jul 24 at 2019 10:21 AM

2019-07-24T10:21:18-04:00

I had to inspect 1000 rooms for the 221st BSB DPW while the German Telecom installed cable in the Barracks, so I've seen it all, including a room that was entirely black. Windows were blacked out, walls painted black, all the furniture was minimalistic and black. Sheets, towels, everything......except for their BDU's; they were woodland.

Response by CPT Daniel Cox made Jul 25 at 2019 6:02 AM

2019-07-25T06:02:31-04:00

In the mid-1970's, I was an enlisted Military Policeman at Fort Ord, we had our entire platoon in open bays, two squads per floor in WWII temporary wooden barracks. Back then there was no individuality (I originally wrote non-conformity) allowed in the barracks so no one ever had anything out of order. Well, it wasn't an inspection but one time I came into the latrine late one night and found one of the platoon's female soldiers showering (the females were housed in a separate barracks) after visiting with the Platoon Sergeant (he was going through a divorce and chose to live in the barracks since his wife had their on post housing).
In 1975, the same was true when I was a Cadet Candidate at The US Military Academy Preparatory School. The only area that was not to a standard was one half of the metal wall locker where we could neatly keep our civilian clothing.
The Tactical NCO was conducting room inspection and noticed a regulation Khaki shirt on my civilian side, pulled it out starting to say it was on the wrong side and noticed the painting on the back, of Donald Duck, in Class A uniform with Prep School Brass, flashing a Peace Sign. One of my classmates was an excellent artist and had painted the image on the back of the shirt based on a faded shirt I had brought with me. The Sergeant stammered he never wanted to see it again. He never did, since after that day I kept it in my car to wear in NYC on weekends.
The only other thing at USMAPS was forming up for Monday morning formation and looking up at my second floor room and seeing a six pack of beer on the ledge outside my window (we would store them outside in the winter since we did not have fridges) that I forgot to store in said car Sunday Night. I still don't know how the Sergeant missed it.

Response by SFC Robert Walton made Jul 26 at 2019 10:23 AM

2019-07-26T10:23:31-04:00

Well this I going back a long ways but early 70's Like 74 I had just been promoted to E-5 SGT hit the CQ duty the following weekend. The Company barracks was two different buildings on female one male. 1 female CQ for the female barracks and one male for the male barracks (lucky me). Saturday Morning 0700 Hrs. I posted for CQ. of going Sgt. Said the 1SGT. an XO would be there in about 15 min. I'm thinking okay so they have something like training sch. to work on Nope 1SGT. Comes in says Two Soldier's got busted with dope in the parking lot last night were going to do a shake down inspection. My 1st thought Oh fun my 1st shake down inspection. 1SGT. sends me over with The SSG.
(Female) to shake down the female barracks I didn't have to inspect only there as a witness if anything was found.

I'm thinking can do easy. Every body should be stand by breeze in out no problem back in 30 Min. grab a cup of Java and a smoke. Nope had no idea what I was getting into, We walked in the barracks up the stairs and into the 1st squad bay SSG says male on the floor open your wall lockers and stand by them. About that time my virgin eyes just got a shocking free shot. I grew up in a family Mother, three Boys, and father. So seeing that many females in several different levels of undress made my face lite up bright Red.

The SSG. was giggling and I was looking around for a quick exit. We walked up to the first wall locker and low and behold a drawer full I mean full of adult toys. So now I am really quiet which was never my nature we finished and started to the next Squad Bay. SSG said you okay and I explained my situation and said like most things I will get used to it. I will never forget her response " Well they're not all like that she must have one heck of and appetite. That did it I laughed so hard I lost my breath. I got over being embarrassed and have never been surprised of what you find in a barracks since.

Response by COL Frank Siltman made Jul 27 at 2019 7:19 PM

2019-07-27T19:19:47-04:00

Once we found a penis pump and a butt plug, but the worst was folded up underwear in the drawer for layout with a turd in them.

Response by SPC Todd Everetts made Jul 28 at 2019 2:35 PM

2019-07-28T14:35:51-04:00

While overseas I had purchased a pistol on base. Perfectly fine, but it - and all ammo - had be kept in the barracks armory. One day the Captain called me in, the armory was going to be inspected the following day by the battalion Colonel. Problem was, they hadn't done the proper paperwork on housing my pistol in the armory and it needed to "disappear". No problem Captain. So I stashed my CZ-85 and a hundred rounds of ammo in my wall locker at the 'informal/nonspecific' request immediately.

I snagged the armorer after final formation the following day and got it back into his custody. The next morning at formation we were told we were having a full blown room inspection with the Colonel. He finally made his way to my room with my Captain who looked like he was ready to present that mornings breakfast and hand over his bars on the spot. He didn't know I'd gotten it back into the armory. All was squared away.

Captain took care of me from that day forward. This was 1990.

Response by SFC Charles Woods made Jul 28 at 2019 10:23 PM

2019-07-28T22:23:47-04:00

In Vietnam,we did have rooms,so 1SG said we could devide our barracks up into cubicles.One Guy had a curtain for a door, so he made a small curtain for his dog.

Response by SFC Harold Gear made Aug 3 at 2019 10:50 AM

2019-08-03T10:50:43-04:00

In the early '70s, I was called to answer some questions concerning one of soldiers during a barracks inspection. The characters, our new Bn. commander, CSM, Company Co, and 1sgt. I acquired the soldier in question and reported to the barracks. The CSM had a question about an almost full quart jar of water in the soldier's wall locker. Attempting to take care of my own, I interrupted. "Sir he just returned from a week of leave in Kentucky and he brought with him 4 quarts of fresh spring water. We were dismissed with no further questions. Later that day 'Top' called us in and requested a sip of that 'spring's water.

Response by SGT Joseph Alanzo made Aug 18 at 2019 11:32 PM

2019-08-18T23:32:02-04:00

you don't what know win I was on c.q.

Response by SSG Scott Johnson made Aug 19 at 2019 1:14 PM

2019-08-19T13:14:19-04:00

During a health and welfare inspection at Ft Carson I found a bag full of stripper gear. Penis pump, banana hammock underwear, lube, riding crop and a few things that I had no idea what they were. Then I found out the Specialist was a stripper in gay bars, but he wasn't gay. He just made more money at those places.

Response by 1st Lt Chris Neville made Aug 19 at 2019 6:33 PM

2019-08-19T18:33:48-04:00

In 1971 I was an Airman in 4th Supply at Seymour Johnson AFB. I was ( and am still) interested in maps and also wanted to fly. I got several sectional charts and "wallpapered" one wall of my dorm room.
During a dorm inspection. I was written up by a WAF Captain because my "pictures" weren't in frames.
I asked her to define "frame" and she told me it was a wooden or metal border around a picture.
So...I went to a hobby shop, bought several 1/4" strips of balsa wood and custom cut a border around my maps.
Next inspection, she comes in, looks closely at my "frame", shakes her head, smiles, and walks out.
Postscript:
I applied for a commissioning program. met all requirements, and the last step was to go before an officer review board. I'm nervous as hell, but walk in and...guess who is there? Yup, my WAF captain. Thankfully, I "passed" and got accepted and ended up with my commission!

Response by SPC Henry Francis made Aug 20 at 2019 7:18 AM

2019-08-20T07:18:27-04:00

A barracks “room”! We had “bays” in my day.

Response by SGT Frank Hubbard made Aug 20 at 2019 9:40 AM

2019-08-20T09:40:12-04:00

I was inspecting the barracks and wall lockers on pay day inspection to determine who got the day off. And one of my privates had hand washed his class A uniform and hung it in his locker. His wall locker was immaculate, and his uniform insignias were perfectly measured. But upon closer inspection of his class A, I noticed water was dripping from his uniform.

Response by CWO4 Ray Fairman made Aug 20 at 2019 4:44 PM

2019-08-20T16:44:08-04:00

The strangest thing I witnessed, happened when we did not have rooms but 4-man cubicles.
During an IG Inspection, the inspecting Co had been a Tailor in Civilian life and was having a number of Marines try on different uniform Items that we hardly ever wore. I had just been promoted to Sgt (E-5) and had worked very hard to make sure all my new chevrons were on all my uniforms as required. However, since we were stationed in Southern California, I neglected to sew them on my old wool "Horseblanket" overcoat (Remember those old heavy things?). I guess that was in part since I had learned from some "Old Salt" how to sew everything to my bunk's blanket in just the right places. Always was a stickler for accuracy in "Junk-on-the-bunk" inspections.
Well, you guessed it, he grabbed my Horseblanket and lifted it up.... along with everything else including the blanket right off my bunk...Oops, I thought ... I will be the shortest tenured Sgt in the squadron. The Colonel looked at me and said, This is a first, shook his head and looked at his aide and said and I've been in the Corps 25 years.
The smirk on the M/Sgt's face let me know I had not heard the last of the event.
Thankfully I only heard from my CO that he was very grateful that I had volunteered for 30 days of duty NCO (Back to Back) and so were many of my units NCO's.

I think the fact that another Sgt in the same cubicle was short the correct number of Skivvies (6) and had placed 1 under the bunk as dirty and had 4 on the bunk as clean. However, when the Colonel asked him to try on the old Kakhi trousers we never wore, and he dropped his tropical trousers to switch, his status as a "Commando" was revealed in all his splendor. The Colonel asked him where he was from and when he replied Tupelo, Mississippi, Sir! The Colonel replied, Carry on Sergeant, I guess I should be happy we have you wearing shoes, and left us to our own worries.

I don't think in all my years i ever had another experience like that one and I hav quite a few in 42 years.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 21 at 2019 6:39 PM

2019-08-21T18:39:31-04:00

I’ll give you two stories. One was a jr corpsman. Had 5 half eaten domino pizza boxes under his head, half drank bottles of soda, cockroaches living in the boxes and no less then 10 dip bottles.

Another time. Kid moved out of my first duty barracks and my 2nd class(E5) and I went to go make sure he cleaned up his room. Called me in to smell a candle that he couldn’t place the scent. Walked in and had this thing half way up his nose. It was a enema kit.

Response by SGT George Reimuth made Aug 21 at 2019 7:15 PM

2019-08-21T19:15:02-04:00

believe or not when I was stationed in Bamberg , Germany in 1980 I have seen other Soliders with sex toys, drugs such as crack cocaine , Heroin needles or even a camouflaged net over their sleeping quarters .items taken from the chow hall

Response by CW3 Paul Fitch made Aug 23 at 2019 12:29 AM

2019-08-23T00:29:50-04:00

The Army was opening Hunter-Stewart Army Airfield as a second school for advanced helicopter training in late 1967. As a result some of us were "held over" at Ft. Wolters. We were designated as "super seniors" and given the privileges as "Junior TAC Officers" Of course the real TAC officers slept in as we fulfilled their duties of waking up the Candidates and getting their day started.

One morning after the Candidates had headed out for morning chow, I was inspecting the barracks to ensure "my" barracks would pass inspection, I walked into a dark room with my flashlight and as it passed near the study table, all I saw was teeth and eyeballs! I honestly jumped back as my mind assimilated the facts and realized it was Candidate Diggs, napping under the table instead of eating breakfast. Needless to say I admonished Candidate Diggs for skipping breakfast as it was an important meal for fledgling aviators as they took to the skies to "preserve, protect and defend" the Constitution.

Yes, Candidate Diggs was black, very black and did a great job of camouflage under that table and might have remained undetected until he opened his eyes and smiled! What a guy!

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2019 1:37 PM

2019-08-23T13:37:24-04:00

What's the craziest thing you have ever seen while inspecting a barracks room?
Our 900 man Air Force Security Police unit was up for a major command award, Large Security Police Group.
Our commander, a Colonel assembled the staff and told us the head of the inspection was a cop as well as an ordained Baptist minister. He instructed us to take him to the dormitory room of an airman who always had an excellent inspection in the past.
Some of our staff members selected one airman as he always had the best room.
As soon as they opened the hallway door to the airman’s room they saw a life size poster of a woman’s vagina.
Needless to say our colonel was not pleased!

Response by MAJ John Knight made Aug 23 at 2019 3:23 PM

2019-08-23T15:23:45-04:00

Once on a health and welfare inspection I found gay porn and sex toys in a false bottom of one of my soldiers foot locker.

On another occasion my 1SG. found a laundry bag full of used feminine hygiene products.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2019 3:39 PM

2019-08-23T15:39:03-04:00

In 2004 I was doing a random/surprise health and welfare check on rooms right before I left active duty. I was hand selected due to my short time left... I went from room to room without issue until I came across one that the SPC didn't wan't to open the door right away. I made sure he knew he had too. Well, he was playing dress up by cross-dressing. The PVT that was with me was freaked out. I inspected the room and told him not to twist his ankle with the heals. Afterwards the PVT asked why I didn't do anything?!? I just told him he's not hurting anyone. But, he did need to have lessons on how to apply blush. The SPC ETS'd and last known he has a wife and 2 kids.

Response by SFC Kenneth Hunnell made Aug 25 at 2019 8:34 AM

2019-08-25T08:34:16-04:00

That picture makes it look like a bedroom in a house. I would never have guessed that was in a Army Barracks

Response by SGT Louise Hawthorne made Aug 25 at 2019 4:29 PM

2019-08-25T16:29:33-04:00

When I was in service we had lockers. One half all military. The Male soldiers would have penthouses and playboys on display on the civilian half of their shelves. I asked the rules applied to all soldiers. The 1SG said sure and the CO agreed. Come command inspection the 4 females, had put up playgirl magazines and a dildo on their shelves. The CSM and Colonel showed up to inspect. They went ballistic and told me if I didn't have mine dress right dress we were toast. When time came to inspect my room, they found a red white and blue one that lit up. I told them to ask the Captain about it because everything was CO approved.
The CO turned red and the 1SG was speachless.
They issued one each extra footlocker for 'personal items' after that.

Response by SSG Harry Herres made Aug 25 at 2019 9:28 PM

2019-08-25T21:28:34-04:00

Wow never had a room. Only thing between bunks were lockers. Must be a concept after the 70's. When we had an inspections it was for the whole bay. NCO academy was the worst.

Response by SFC Michael Peterson made Aug 25 at 2019 10:50 PM

2019-08-25T22:50:17-04:00

Well, when I was a young Specialist, my CSM and 1SG found my motorcycle engine, completely disassembled, in my wall locker. They laughed about it. Another time, one of the Mortarmen, in another Company in our Battalion, had a live 60mm mortar round under his bunk. That didn't turn out well for him but, in his defense, we were on DRF-1 but, we were in the field doing a Live Fire Exercise and, we got alerted for a real world deployment right before the night iteration. We were supposed to ruck about two clicks to the road where there were "80 PAX" waiting to take us back to the Company. When we got to the 80 PAX, they told us to drop our live ammo on the side of the road, in total darkness. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to keep it but, when he realized it, he panicked and was too scared to tell anyone. Anyway, he just got a summarized Article 15 and, recently retired as a 1SG. We laughed about this incident many times.

Response by SFC William Fowle made Aug 26 at 2019 7:23 AM

2019-08-26T07:23:42-04:00

While stationed at Ft Devens, in 80, I knocked on the door and announced "man in the room" opened the door to be treated by.3 female soldiers standing by their bunks, and one naked lying on her bunk. She said she was waiting.for the XO, female 1LT. She was chartered out soon after returning from psyche eval.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 26 at 2019 7:55 AM

2019-08-26T07:55:40-04:00

When I was at Ft. Lewis, we had a Health and Welfare inspection, so myself and my buddy were in charge of a floor that had a total of eight Soldiers both male and female. Normally, you'd think that the male rooms would be nasty, but we inspected one of the female rooms that was horrible. First, the kitchen was trashed with old dishes, food that's been there for days, etc. Her bathroom was disgusting and trash was piled up. That's just the common area. In her room, it looked like she was trying to put makeup on the mirror, walls and sink, but not her face. There was cups on the floor with old soda we think that was sitting there for so long you could turn it over and nothing would come out. She had a trash can near the bed with used feminine products that also spilled onto the floor. The best part though was when we opened her dresser drawers and found dirty clothes in them that smelt like you just came back from the field for 30 days.....but they were her civilian clothes. Our CSM came in right at that opportune time too and ensured her Chain of Command knew how she was living. That's just one of the many things I've seen, there's more, but I don't want to write a novel lol

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Aug 26 at 2019 10:41 AM

2019-08-26T10:41:32-04:00

My one buddy tilted his room. He put everything on about a 15 degree pitch the inspector's right. Posters, calendar, TV, radio, bed, wall locker, everything leaning one way. Of course, he stood at attention at the same angle. Our CO & 1SG had to step out of the room to laugh hysterically.

Response by MAJ Lyle F. Padilla made Aug 26 at 2019 3:26 PM

2019-08-26T15:26:09-04:00

My last few years before I retired, I was a Junior ROTC training officer, so these were High School kids who still had a couple of years before they were actually ready to enlist, and were getting a very watered down 2-week preview of Basic Training for Summer Camp. So these may seem mild by comparison to the other stories on this thread, and I wouldn't describe these items so much as crazy as incredibly facepalm-worthy stupid.

During the luggage shakedown as they were moving into the barracks bays, one kid showed up with a T-shirt imprinted with a marijuana leaf. The NCO actually going through his luggage confiscated it immediately and the kid spent the entire camp under a microscope.

Another kid showed up for aquatic training with a 5' x 3' US flag made of terrycloth that was his bath towel, casually draped over his shoulder. (The kids were issued blankets and bed linens but told to bring their own towels and washcloths.) I don't know who the f**k would even manufacture such a thing, but the kid apparently had the misguided idea that using a US flag for a bath towel would be seen as patriotic. I immediately told him to treat it like ANY US flag and return to his barracks bay, fold it in a regulation triangle, ground it to a corner of his drawer and never EVER use it as a towel again, at that camp or anyplace afterward.

Based on my own observations at the poor urban school district where I worked in my civilian career, parents loved having their kids in Junior ROTC not so much because it taught them military discipline and patriotism but because it showed them how to be respectful to adults and act like civilized human beings. These two boys had slipped through the cracks until we caught them.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 26 at 2019 4:52 PM

2019-08-26T16:52:59-04:00

I had a Soldier with unexploded UXO under is bed. He found it at the range, and came back for it on the weekend. danm ass thought it was a great idea to use it as decoration in his room.

Response by SFC Ernest Thurston made Aug 27 at 2019 8:03 PM

2019-08-27T20:03:01-04:00

I remember that we had a big GI party prior to an IG inspection. So the Supply room pulled out all the paint that was in storage so that everyone had a fresh coat of paint on their rooms. One guy in my Squad mixed several colors together because there wasn't enough of one single color to do his room. When he put it on the walls it was pink. He went ahead and painted the entire room with it. When the !SG came in the next day his eyes got real big and said "what the hell is this" The soldier responded "titty pink 1SG, titty pink". The 1SG asked if he was happy with the color and the troop said yes. So they let him keep it that color. This guy was a little strange anyway. He was one of the first Trekkies. He had blueprints for the Enterprise on his wall. He also one time went to a Fleetwood Mac Concert with a T-shirt printed with "Sit on my face Stevie" Meaning Stevie Nicks, the female lead singer. He had to keep explaining that he wasn't gay. That was the 70's!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 27 at 2019 9:48 PM

2019-08-27T21:48:54-04:00

Naked female in a wall locker.

Response by SFC Bill Hayes made Aug 29 at 2019 9:09 AM

2019-08-29T09:09:14-04:00

Well number 1 we had open bays, and squad rooms AIT to guys feel asleep standing up, one snoozing, funny now not first Sgt, didn't have a since of humor

Response by LCpl Cody Collins made Oct 10 at 2019 8:27 AM

2019-10-10T08:27:34-04:00

A naked civilian woman, laying across the rack. And to my shock, she was laying across my rack. I don't know what I succumb to 1st the heart attack or the stroke or the shock of seeing her there ! Turns out the fire watch thought he was doing me a favor by letting her in my Room . Thinking that it was close to child time I will be there within a few minutes, Well some other marine seen him do that and called the shop and the C.O. Call for in surprise barracks inspection we have 5 minutes to open up our Doors and stand outside the door at attention as they came through. She got a clothes on and just barely made it out of the Room, When the C.O. and the lieutenant Step inside of the Room before mine she ran out and ran to the end of the barracks and down the steps just as they were coming out. I never stood so rigid at attention in all my life as a marine until that day, Word got back anyway and I was called into the office. I explained to the captain that I had no clue that she was there and someone was playing an elaborate joke. They went back to the fire watch on duty he was not part of our platoon and he thought he was doing me a favor he got discipline big time and I got a chewing out like never before and told to get back to work.

Response by SFC Dan Thomsen made Oct 15 at 2019 4:58 PM

2019-10-15T16:58:09-04:00

2.75 Folding Fin Aerial Rocket that had dropped out of a AH-1 Cobra on a firing range. Soldier was assigned to the brass/bullet clean up and had snuck it into the deuce and said nothing to anyone. It was being used a bedside lamp. It had been in the barracks for 4 months right next to the E-4's bunk with a lamp cover on it so nobody thought more of it. Had a skirt over the fins that made it look like a lamp. It had made it thru multiple bi-weekly room inspections. Finally, 3 grenades went missing on post and they locked the post down and dogs were sent into everywhere to sniff for ordnance, and it went off on the rocket.

Response by MAJ Mike Pagotto made Nov 4 at 2019 9:24 PM

2019-11-04T21:24:27-05:00

Conducting a barracks inspection with my 1SG and in one room there was a lady and a baby. Turns out the E4 assigned to that room was living with friends and reaching out his barracks room.

Response by MSgt Stephen Council made Nov 13 at 2019 10:07 AM

2019-11-13T10:07:54-05:00

SFC Joseph James A pile of used tampons (about a weeks worth) in the corner next to a sink!?!? Also, a curling iron, plugged in and left in the middle of an unmade bed. I was amazed we weren't on fire!

Response by MAJ Louis Giamo made Nov 14 at 2019 4:43 PM

2019-11-14T16:43:02-05:00

My second assignment in Korea was as a HQ's Co. XO. One of my extra duties was officer housing. I had to assign all incoming officers their rooms and inspect the rooms of outgoing officers for damage. Our Support Platoon Leader was sent home on emergency leave and then reassigned Stateside so I had to inspect his room and ship all of his belongings to him. When I opened the closet, I found a case of hand grenades, 3 boxes of .50 cal, a case of starburst flares, and a case of artillery simulators that he had failed to turn in after range and field training.

Response by MAJ Louis Giamo made Nov 14 at 2019 4:43 PM

2019-11-14T16:43:11-05:00

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 25 at 2020 12:37 AM

2020-07-25T00:37:31-04:00

not me personally. We had had a soldier pull the fire alarm because he saw smoke and smell burning. the fire department arid and found a full meth lab. Good Old Fort Bragg.

Response by MSgt Don VandeBogert made Dec 10 at 2020 11:14 PM

2020-12-10T23:14:59-05:00

Thank god we used gloves on our health and welfare inspections. We cut locks, lifted mattresses, and went through clothing drawers, all as instructed by JAG during one. Kicked all the occupants out. We knocked, announced, and if they didnt open the door in 30 seconds we went in. Most were not happy which I was fine with.

- Anal beads (dirty)

Response by Vonice LarsenBailey made Dec 28 at 2020 3:36 PM

2020-12-28T15:36:31-05:00

Hmm this is a huge toss up because there are so many. The 6' inflatable penis with a smiley face hanging from the fire suppression/detector, the travelling blow up doll that it was anybody's guess where she would land, or the naked kid during a health and welfare who kept saying I'm naked I can't leave my room (health and welfare with dogs he got clothes on and left his room.) Also had a guy that kept his room serial killer clean. No dust dirt or anything out of place, ever. Fun times.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2021 5:23 PM

2021-03-21T17:23:37-04:00

Floaters in the toilet in a female room

Response by GySgt Thomas Vick made Mar 22 at 2021 9:40 AM

2021-03-22T09:40:47-04:00

One of our AWOL kids had a box with Rattle Snakes in it, in his wall locker.

Response by LTC John Griscom made Mar 22 at 2021 12:32 PM

2021-03-22T12:32:49-04:00

Someone trying to tell me I couldn't take the marijuana I found in their room.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made May 4 at 2021 10:31 AM

2021-05-04T10:31:22-04:00

Found a Turkey Snake (think Rattlesnake look-a-like) in an empty drawer under a soldier's bed. I had to catch up with the roommate.

Response by SSG Gordon Holmes made Jun 21 at 2022 5:29 PM

2022-06-21T17:29:44-04:00

When I was stationed at Ft. Ord, We were only a few blocks from the ocean. Every few days I would tear down my motorcycle and take it in the barracks to clean it so it would not rust from the salt air.

Response by 1SG Bernhard Mattulat made Dec 23 at 2023 1:29 PM

2023-12-23T13:29:56-05:00

The tale of Smith, Jones, and Brown. As 1SG, I scheduled an open wall locker inspection once a month while the troops were at their duty station. It was a quick "health and welfare" look-see", not a search. Four troop room with two troop occupancy. One locker caught my eye as there were 2.5 times the number of fatigues found in a normal issue. On closer inspection, I noticed that half the fatigues in that locker were cut for a woman and had another units patch on the sleeve. Oh, and two different name tags! Sp4 Adam's was close by so I asked him if he knew why Sgt Smith had two sets of uniforms, one set for a woman from a different unit. Him-haw with no eye contact. After a few minutes under the 1SG "evil eye", Adam's spilled the beans. Seems that Smith and Jones were "bunk mates" while each waited for transportation to join their "significant other" in Germany and Korea. Then (I had to ask: "They're not doing the 'nasty' while you're in the room are they?" After some thought, Adam's said they did and that he hadn't got much sleep lately. Always wonder how Smith explained to his wife the reduction from SGT to SP4 on his arrival in Korea. And now you know one more reason why weapons are kept in the arms room!