What's the funniest excuse you've heard someone give on the range?

I was a Range SNCO for a detail and I had an indignant Woman Marine and her Coach come up to me after she had went "Unq" ( unqualified) on the range. The coach was adamant that there had to be a conspiracy going on in the butts because she was doing well all week ( actually she had been just meeting the standards) and there was no way she could have shot so bad on the last string of fire ( 500 Yard line prone)... She had only hit the target 3 times, and missed qualifying by a whopping 35 points.
I told her to let me see her weapon, and sure enough she hadn't adjusted her sights after she left the 300. I straight up told her " You just dont know you weapon Marine". She went off crying and I pulled the coach to the side and ripped him a new ass. Instead of looking after the shooter and reminding them to check their sights he was flirting with her. I then called the Marine over and asked her if the coach had reminded her about the sights. She said no and told me how he was promising to buy her dinner if she made Sharpshooter. Right after she went Unq he was telling her he "knew people" and would have CID do an investigation on who was pulling her target.
Needless to say she was highly pissed at the guy. I'm sure he was mad that I cock-blocked him as well. But screw him, he should have just did his job and tried to pick up a stripper insteasd of a fellow Marine, like any self-respecting Devil Dog would do.

Not that he was giving an excuse....but he did say that all his rounds were shooting low and couldn't figure it out. Finally after the third attempt to qual, the range safety right next to his firing position discovered he had his rear sight set on the wrong setting.

M9 Range ... He didn't get a chance to ZERO with that pistol.