What's the funniest thing you've had happen to you or seen in your military experience?

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 00:37:36 -0500

Response by SN Greg Wright made Dec 20 at 2016 1:04 AM

SN Greg Wright — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 01:04:23 -0500

This'll probably seem narcissistic, but I'm probably the only enlisted guy in history to get away with biting his CO's leg....as the wog dog in the Crossing the Line ceremony.

Response by LTC Trent Klug made Dec 20 at 2016 1:50 AM

LTC Trent Klug — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 01:50:40 -0500

In honor of the anniversary of Operation Just Cause. Our CO was 'bitten' by a vampire bat. He had the series of rabies shots as a preventative measure.

When we arrived at Ft. Kobbe to prep for returning home, the tent he had his gear in was gifted with a 'bat cave' sign and quite a few of the junior enlisted did their face camo in the shape of the Batman logo. CPT S took it in stride and we all got a good laugh out of the situation.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Dec 20 at 2016 3:43 AM

Capt Seid Waddell — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 03:43:24 -0500

Left handed salutes given so professionally that it looked right.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 20 at 2016 10:39 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 10:39:53 -0500

1) I cloths lined myself on a GP Medium tent rope in Basic Training
2) I witnessed a 1SG with a bullhorn in her right hand salute a Major
3) I was asked by a Marine SGM if it was going to hurt right before I had to give him a urinary catheter
4) I took a backswing hit upside the top of my head (not wearing my kevlar) from a 5lb sledge while it was being wielded by my Platoon Leader
5) I saw one of my Engineer buddies being chased by a Mojave Green with his pants around his knees right after he left to do a Class 1 download

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Dec 20 at 2016 11:06 AM

SGT Dave Tracy — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 11:06:11 -0500

Hmm...Would that be Friday safety briefs done by a private imitating Christopher Walken? The LT who insisted on not putting a helmet on in his Bradley only to head-butt both the turret and then the hatch lid and drop into the turret? Perhaps the newly promoted E6 who made a little speech after getting pinned and just verbally blasted the unit...never saw that guy again!

Response by SGT James Colwell made Dec 20 at 2016 4:29 PM

SGT James Colwell — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 16:29:23 -0500

Scared the crap out of a cow with a 25mm round from my Bradley. Later that week my platoon leader (during a two vehicle gunnery run) shoved me to the bottom of the turret while screaming that the other vehicle was shooting at us (coax mg). I suggested that he get on the radio and tell them to stop.

Response by PO2 Chris Hearne made Dec 20 at 2016 4:53 PM

PO2 Chris Hearne — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 16:53:55 -0500

Besides all of the drunken stories at the many different ports I had been to...

I was in Corfu, Greece, and was propositioned by a man who wanted me to marry his daughter. She was very attractive, in college. Her English was a bit broken, but quite passable. I was talking with her, and she blurted out, "You would be the perfect father for all 8 children that I want to have."

You could only picture my face right then and there. I was speechless.

(Spoiler: I never went to Greece again)

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 20 at 2016 5:01 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 17:01:10 -0500

while at 29 palms out in the box, had a sgt come running out from under the camo netting, early in the am, after sleeping on the 8 inch SP howitzer, in his sleeping bag, nothing but his whitie tighties, apparently a scorpion joined him in his bag, the only thing I can compare it too, was the seen from Talladega nights, when rickie bobby thought he was on fire

Response by SSG Mark Franzen made Dec 20 at 2016 8:27 PM

SSG Mark Franzen — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 20:27:35 -0500

I also for about when I new Guy came to the Motor pool we tied him up on a chair and swung him around on the Boom of the wrecker.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 20 at 2016 8:40 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 20:40:54 -0500

During BCT at Fort Benning, we were at the moving target range, which had elevated firing positions that had stairs to get to/from. I had just finished shooting (well) and the Drill Sergeant yelled "You're going places Unger! I know it!" Just as he said that, I tripped and fell down the stairs. I got up, looked around, and heard, "I saw that!" from the Drill Sergeant.

Response by CDR Jon Corrigan made Dec 20 at 2016 9:48 PM

CDR Jon Corrigan — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 21:48:07 -0500

A Prospective Cruiser Commanding Officer got an orientation ride in a Hornet and, despite the pre-brief, ejected over the Nevada desert. The squadron found the seat after several days of searching and had it mounted in the Wardroom prior to his arrival to take command.

Response by SPC Erich Guenther made Dec 21 at 2016 10:21 AM

SPC Erich Guenther — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 10:21:54 -0500

A Marine wearing a man diaper in the sick call line in Bremerhaven Germany, when I asked what happened he stated one of his friends lit off a pack of fire crackers in his back pocket. Right behind him was another Marine with his face and upper torso bandaged up with white gauze........I asked what happened to him and he said he forgot to let the pressure release before unscrewing the radiator cap to check the water level on his jeep.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2016 5:22 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:22:02 -0500

Ok. I got one. Here is the back story:

So I was stationed in Germany at Landstuhl, and the guy I shared a bathroom with, he and I were good to go and trusted one another so neither of us locked our respective bathroom doors (unless we had certain company for the night). One day, he goes on leave and had locked his bathroom door. For a few days I thought nothing of it.........until......one day (about a week into his leave) a female friend of mine and I were in my room watching tv. All of a sudden, we heard the toilet flush. We both looked at each other and thought "WTF." So, I go and unlock the door, and there before my eyes, is his German booty call girl sitting on his couch and talking on his phone. I proceed to tell her that she CANNOT be in his room, let alone on base, while he is gone and that if someone decided to do barracks inspections, all geese involved would be cooked. Fast forward a week, I'm down at the Irish Pub in town and after a good night hanging out, I call for a cab and am outside waiting for said cab. So there I stand having a smoke and waiting when the girl in question comes walking out of the bar with 2 guys (and neither of them were my friend who is still on leave). I roll my eyes and continue to wait for my cab. I see out of the corner of my eye that she whispers into the ear of one of the guys (rather large muscled guy). He chimes out loudly "Who's ass you want me to kick?" I look at him and without batting an eyelash, I responded "Oh, that would be me." With a quickness, she pops smoke in a whole different direction with the guys in tow.

Now for the funny part: So after this, I go back into the bar and go to the owner (whom I got along with rather well) and informed her of what happened. She actually thanked me because the owner had been looking for a reason to ban her. So about a week later, the German girl walks in the bar, the owner takes her into the back room, and the German girl comes out about 5 minutes later in tears and makes a beeline for the door never to return. When people asked me what went down, I told them the story and everyone of them roared with laughter.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2016 5:40 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:40:31 -0500

Another story from Germany that involved the same Irish Pub and it's owner.

Back story: I was at this German gas station/convenience store and saw a green t-shirt with POLIZEI printed on it for sale. I bought it.

So one night I'm at the pub wearing the POLIZEI shirt (you would be AMAZED how fast people clear your way when you are en route to the latrine). I had been drinking on tab that night, but decided I didn't want to wrack up the tab so I went to the bar to pay it off and pay for my next beer with cash. So, I'm standing there waiting, when this druuuuuunk English guy walked up and said "Don't you think you've been drinking for free long enough tonight?" As he was 4 sheets to the wind, and with his accent, I asked him to repeat that question again. He did. I responded with "Well, as you can see, I have cash in my hand." He takes one step back, takes off his coat and says "You wanna fight right now?" And before I can respond with anything, the bar owner (who was Irish and all of about 5 feet tall) comes RIPPING out from behind the bar and reams this drunk Brit up one side and down the other. I got my beer and just left her to do her business and went back to the table with my friends. The last words I heard coming from her was "YOU DO NOT THREATEN ONE OF MY REGULARS!" As I am proceeding to tell my friends the story of what just happened, the drunk Brit comes walking up and said "Sir, I would like to apologize for my rudeness. Perhaps I can buy you and your friends a beer to make it up to you?" I was sitting at a table with 8 other friends..........let's just say that his apology was a very expensive one.

Response by CPL Anthony Slaughter made Dec 29 at 2016 7:49 PM

CPL Anthony Slaughter — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 19:49:14 -0500

A brand new 2LT say that he could take down anyone in the Platoon while we were in the Motor Pool, since he was on the wrestling team at West Point. An E1 rolled him up like a shirt.