PFC Private RallyPoint Member423635<div class="images-v2-count-1"><div class="content-picture image-v2-number-1" id="image-20283"> <div class="social_icons social-buttons-on-image">
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<a class="fancybox" rel="a9b64c709c4130824df0631933631dce" href="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/020/283/for_gallery_v2/civilian.jpg"><img src="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/020/283/large_v3/civilian.jpg" alt="Civilian" /></a></div></div>I've heard the typical you all aren't infantry? But I'm curious to hear what you've heard people say.<br /><br />Note: Sample picture added by RP Staff.What's the funniest thing you've heard a civilian say about the military?2015-01-18T13:21:06-05:002015-01-18T13:21:06-05:00MAJ Jim Steven423644<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I went to a wedding, wore my dress blues. Someone asked if I had gotten a weekend pass...I explained that it can be a pretty normal job...<br />2nd thing, a little over a year ago, at my high school reunion, I was asked what outfit I was in and what division I was in. Not sure who calls it an outfit, and thete is so much more to the Army than our Divisions...Response by MAJ Jim Steven made Jan 18 at 2015 1:29 PM2015-01-18T13:29:59-05:002015-01-18T13:29:59-05:002d Lt Private RallyPoint Member423648<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>It amazes me how many people think if you are in the Air Force you fly a plane.Response by 2d Lt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 18 at 2015 1:34 PM2015-01-18T13:34:16-05:002015-01-18T13:34:16-05:00SPC James Mcneil427840<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I heard the drill sergeants got to beat you up on the first day. Is that true?"<br /><br />I responded, "Not on the first day" with a grin...Response by SPC James Mcneil made Jan 20 at 2015 9:19 PM2015-01-20T21:19:36-05:002015-01-20T21:19:36-05:001SG Private RallyPoint Member428048<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I woulda joined, but...<br />...I have flat feet.<br />...my mom wouldn't let me (30 year old guy working at Subway, just last week)<br />...I couldn't lose the weight (dude was about 350 lbs)<br />...I got hurt in Basic Training.<br />...there were no slots (my favorite).Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 20 at 2015 11:32 PM2015-01-20T23:32:26-05:002015-01-20T23:32:26-05:00CPO Jon Campbell428049<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I always thought it was hilarious when some one would ask me if I had 'manuveurs' over the weekend when I had a guard drill. I never went on anything that would have been called a maneuver.Response by CPO Jon Campbell made Jan 20 at 2015 11:32 PM2015-01-20T23:32:40-05:002015-01-20T23:32:40-05:00TSgt Jackie Jones428475<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"You were in the Air Force, and you didn't fly a plane?!"Response by TSgt Jackie Jones made Jan 21 at 2015 8:45 AM2015-01-21T08:45:18-05:002015-01-21T08:45:18-05:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member428494<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I don't know whether to categorize this as funny or annoying: Civilians keep referring to the Army as "Military" and Marines? well they're "Marines". I once heard two arguing "he's not in the Military; he's in the Army... It says it on his uniform!" One civilian thought we (all Branches) are called "Army" (I also heard "I thought we were all Marines"). Ugh! The sheer confusion when they realize that they had it all wrong all of their lives.Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 8:59 AM2015-01-21T08:59:22-05:002015-01-21T08:59:22-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member428625<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Old drunk dude at a bar " I bet you could kill me with one finger, huh?"<br />Me "I an Engineer not Bruce Lee, so I would need to use 2 fingers"<br /><br />Not sure if he knew I was joking, but he stopped talking to me after that. Mission accomplishedResponse by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 10:27 AM2015-01-21T10:27:22-05:002015-01-21T10:27:22-05:00CPT Private RallyPoint Member428694<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Whenever asked I tell people that I am in the Army they always ask if you have been "Over there?" And of course they ask if you have ever been shot at. An I will say yeah. Then comes the ringer. "Were you scared?" I usually reply with, "NO, I was really excited. I finally knew who to shoot at." They usually think that it makes sense and that it was a good way to find bad guys. I just walk away when I can before I get anything else.<br /><br />The other I get is if going to war was anything like it is in the games. That is when I do a face palm.Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 11:28 AM2015-01-21T11:28:39-05:002015-01-21T11:28:39-05:00SGT Monika Sloan428700<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I think we have all been asked the stupid and insensitive question of, "have you ever killed anybody?!" It boggles my mind how a perfect stranger thinks this is an appropriate question to ask someone they just met. Most of us have not and never will kill anybody. But civilians know it is a possibility in our job description. So, I guess some people just have to ask.Response by SGT Monika Sloan made Jan 21 at 2015 11:34 AM2015-01-21T11:34:15-05:002015-01-21T11:34:15-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member428703<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Had a civilian call one of my guys a POG. My reply " hey that's still more than you".Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 11:35 AM2015-01-21T11:35:23-05:002015-01-21T11:35:23-05:00SFC Michael Jackson, MBA428726<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The notion that I'm rich, well-off, and have all the money in the because I'm in military or work for the government. <br />Sadly, this is some of my own family thinking I should pay everything for everybody because i'm doing "alright"Response by SFC Michael Jackson, MBA made Jan 21 at 2015 11:49 AM2015-01-21T11:49:26-05:002015-01-21T11:49:26-05:00Lt Col Jim Coe429089<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Early in my career, I was asked about being in the "Air Corps". Mostly by folks of my parents' generation--the Greatest Generation--they didn't grasp the concept that the Air Force became a separate service in 1947. Understandable. Took it with a smile.<br /><br />A PC (pure civilian) neighbor once asked my wife, "Does your husband have a job or is he in the Service?" She explained I was home in the daytime because I was flying night missions.Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Jan 21 at 2015 3:01 PM2015-01-21T15:01:24-05:002015-01-21T15:01:24-05:00CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member429154<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I wanted to join but I would have punched the Drill Sergeant for telling me what to do"<br /><br />Yeahhhh. Sureeeee you would have. <br />**********<br /><br />Also, "So, do you guys just march around all day with backpacks?"<br /><br />Yes. Yes, we do. And scrub garbage cans.<br />:)Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 3:33 PM2015-01-21T15:33:09-05:002015-01-21T15:33:09-05:00SrA Marc Haynes429213<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Not military statement but I once had a patient say that he heard nurses make mid-six figure salaries.<br /><br />I said sure as long as you count what's behind the decimal points which actually confused himResponse by SrA Marc Haynes made Jan 21 at 2015 4:04 PM2015-01-21T16:04:06-05:002015-01-21T16:04:06-05:00LTC Private RallyPoint Member430427<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I'm at Fort Jackson, the largest Basic Training post in the Army, and folks from Columbia often say, "So what goes on at the 'Fort'?"Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 9:42 AM2015-01-22T09:42:23-05:002015-01-22T09:42:23-05:00LTC Private RallyPoint Member430451<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Oh you are in the Army? Do you know Joe? He is in the Marines.<br /><br />Honest! No last name, no station, just Joe who is a Marine.Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 9:54 AM2015-01-22T09:54:33-05:002015-01-22T09:54:33-05:00CPT Private RallyPoint Member430592<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"You get up at what time?! To do what? Exercise? No."Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 11:26 AM2015-01-22T11:26:24-05:002015-01-22T11:26:24-05:00PO2 Steven Erickson430656<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When they find out I'm a nuke, I get a lot of...<br /><br />"Oh. So you glow green in the dark?"<br /><br />My favorite responses:<br />For adults: "Nah... It's more of a blue shimmer."<br /><br />For kids: "Nah... But I do a real nice blue sparkle in the moonlight!"<br /><br />When they find out I was on submarines:<br /><br />"Wow. How long could you stay down under water?"<br /><br />Me: "Until the sub came to the surface."Response by PO2 Steven Erickson made Jan 22 at 2015 12:09 PM2015-01-22T12:09:29-05:002015-01-22T12:09:29-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member430709<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>That if they were is the Military and a Drill Sergeant (leadership) was to get in their face and yell that they would just yell back or hit them.Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 12:42 PM2015-01-22T12:42:27-05:002015-01-22T12:42:27-05:00Sgt Adam Jennings430725<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Let's see... Do you know so-and-so? He/She is/was in the Marine Corps/Army/Air Force/Navy/National Guard. <br /><br />I just have to bite my tongue and cordially respond no, that there are a lot of people in the military. It just re-enforces how people don't think before they speak these days.Response by Sgt Adam Jennings made Jan 22 at 2015 12:50 PM2015-01-22T12:50:33-05:002015-01-22T12:50:33-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member430740<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Oh, you're in the National Guard. My cousin is in the real military." <br /><br />Oh civilians, they never fail to bring a smile to my face. :)Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 1:05 PM2015-01-22T13:05:36-05:002015-01-22T13:05:36-05:00MSgt Private RallyPoint Member430893<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Women on a flight saw my official government passport on my way to Puerto Rico (then on to the Dominican Republic)! <br /><br />Women - Are you in the military? Me - Yes Ma'am. Women - Secert Mission? Me - Yes ma'am and I can't leave witnesses. <br /><br />She didn't talk to me for the rest of the flight. <br /><br />I know not nice but you get tired of questions.Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 2:54 PM2015-01-22T14:54:43-05:002015-01-22T14:54:43-05:00MSG Private RallyPoint Member430913<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Right after I completed my Change of Responsibility more than two years ago, and assumed my role as a Company First Sergeant, my 7 year old daughter asked me who the "Second Sergeant" was...hysterical still to this day when I think about it!!Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2015 3:10 PM2015-01-22T15:10:11-05:002015-01-22T15:10:11-05:00SFC William Parks430939<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>As a enlisted recruiter I was conducting an Army Interview to a prospect when the mother chimed in and said I'm ok with him joining as an officer but not as some petty enlisted person. I said ma'am I'm enlisted and she replied with like I said petty.Response by SFC William Parks made Jan 22 at 2015 3:19 PM2015-01-22T15:19:40-05:002015-01-22T15:19:40-05:00SFC Josh Jackson431053<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Actual conversation between a former boss of mine and his neighbor. I am not making this up:<br /><br />Guy: "Where do you get all your money?"<br />Boss: "What are you talking about?"<br />Guy: "I mean, because you're a volunteer..."<br />Boss: "What?"<br />Guy: "You know, isn't it an all-volunteer army?"Response by SFC Josh Jackson made Jan 22 at 2015 4:26 PM2015-01-22T16:26:05-05:002015-01-22T16:26:05-05:00SrA Private RallyPoint Member431737<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Since I'm a cop in the air force, I always get asked what I fly. I typically respond with the various weapons I carry to see if they catch onResponse by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2015 12:54 AM2015-01-23T00:54:06-05:002015-01-23T00:54:06-05:00SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member431800<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I've often replied to ignorant comments with, "we learn to kill people with common item like a slice of bread, an empty water bottle, pencils, and car keys". (with a very serious tone of course) I then do this thing with my eye, I can make it twitch....and draw real close, and say, "do you want me to show you?" This usually shuts them up...Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2015 3:05 AM2015-01-23T03:05:34-05:002015-01-23T03:05:34-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member431877<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Being an Intel guy, I've had people ask me if I knew the truth about aliens.Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2015 7:22 AM2015-01-23T07:22:00-05:002015-01-23T07:22:00-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member432274<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was being taught a class by a civilian and he introduced himself by saying "I have never been in the military but I've read a lot of books so I know what it feels like to be a solider"Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2015 12:50 PM2015-01-23T12:50:35-05:002015-01-23T12:50:35-05:00Col Joseph Lenertz432418<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>While stationed at Brooks AFB as an engineer following AFIT, I lived in a northern San Antonio neighborhood. Across the street was a young couple with a new baby, so my wife couldn't resist. He was a recruiter for private colleges...highly educated, bright guy, liberal academia mindset, but not old enough to be set in his ways. When I was relating what I did and where I was coming from, and how important education was for progression in the Air Force, he thought I was kidding. He actually said, "I thought you just said education is important! That's hilarious!" He wasn't even trying to be insulting, he was just being honest. He had been so insulated from the military his whole life, he actually thought the military HATED education.<br />Many beers later, we grew to become good friends, and my family and his (now in Oregon, still liberal, but with a little better understanding of the military) stay in touch and share photos of our kids.Response by Col Joseph Lenertz made Jan 23 at 2015 3:10 PM2015-01-23T15:10:59-05:002015-01-23T15:10:59-05:00SPC James Mcneil432472<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Why do the drill sergeants have to be so mean?"<br /><br />"Wait, what?"Response by SPC James Mcneil made Jan 23 at 2015 3:45 PM2015-01-23T15:45:23-05:002015-01-23T15:45:23-05:00LTC Stephen C.432652<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="419808" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/419808-42a-human-resources-specialist-hhb-2-44-ada">PFC Private RallyPoint Member</a>, I've heard people (more than once) mistake Special Services for Special Forces! All you can do is move on!<br />Response by LTC Stephen C. made Jan 23 at 2015 6:47 PM2015-01-23T18:47:15-05:002015-01-23T18:47:15-05:00SGT Mark Sullivan433207<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Was called a Baby Killer in LAX on my way to Korea in 1989. You'd think some of these fruitcakes could come up with a better phrase.Response by SGT Mark Sullivan made Jan 24 at 2015 1:39 AM2015-01-24T01:39:17-05:002015-01-24T01:39:17-05:00LCpl Private RallyPoint Member433285<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Shit I could write a book. Going back to college after the Corps was a trip and a half. Some highlights include:<br />"Did you kill any one?" "...why do you make it sound like I'm done?"<br />"Well my dad's an Airforce General, blah blah my opinion is more informed then yours"<br />"I heard Marines have to kill a family member to join" - My favorite since it's classic propaganda, didn't think it was supposed to work on our own citizens though<br />"Dude.. you have... like... really shiny boots man"<br />"So like, you flew on planes and stuff? Were they like fighter jets?" - After a brief conversation with someone else talking about the process to become a crew chief for fixed wing aircraft in the Marine Corps<br />"Oh wow! You have an awesome beard! When did you get out of High School?" "Your freshman year."<br /><br />And the usual stuff about brainwashing, killing babies, and wanting to know if I know PFC Schmuckatelli. <br /><br />People like this are why I drink.Response by LCpl Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 4:27 AM2015-01-24T04:27:07-05:002015-01-24T04:27:07-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member433306<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>One dude told me they thought I had gotten shot because they saw my picture in the local paper. That was just my announcement that I had joined, lol.Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 5:08 AM2015-01-24T05:08:58-05:002015-01-24T05:08:58-05:00CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member433311<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>had a college classmate tell me this once: "People in the Air Force are really no better than your average citizen except they have been trained at doing a job, wear a uniform and are armed with high-powered toys that blow apart things.” <br /><br />I just sort of stared at him without blinking for a while until he got up and moved to another seat...Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 5:29 AM2015-01-24T05:29:16-05:002015-01-24T05:29:16-05:00SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member433432<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I was on my first deployment to Iraq in 2007, I was talking to my mom on the phone when she asked me "why don't you have a purple heart yet?". I sat there for a few seconds then asked "mom, do you even know what a purple heart is?" She told me "they are for doing a good job while deployed." I just started laughing and explained that a purple heart is given for getting hurt or killed in combat. Her response was "Oh. I guess you don't want one then."<br /><br />Also, I once got asked if I have been "over the water". I had to think about what exactly I was being asked for a minute.Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 9:24 AM2015-01-24T09:24:45-05:002015-01-24T09:24:45-05:00SSgt Private RallyPoint Member433582<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"What do you fly?"Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 11:28 AM2015-01-24T11:28:53-05:002015-01-24T11:28:53-05:00MSgt Rob Weston433598<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>On leave visiting a Army buddy a few years ago, when a civilian asked if we were military. He stated army of course and before I was able to answer "at least your not Air Force, that not really military!" The face after I told him I was Air Force...Response by MSgt Rob Weston made Jan 24 at 2015 11:37 AM2015-01-24T11:37:25-05:002015-01-24T11:37:25-05:00MAJ David Vermillion433985<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Do you work at this hotel?Response by MAJ David Vermillion made Jan 24 at 2015 4:27 PM2015-01-24T16:27:18-05:002015-01-24T16:27:18-05:00SSG (ret) William Martin433989<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I made a traffic stop on a motorist who was a civilian who tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to issue a citation to a civilian. Their offense was cell phone use and speeding in a school zone on top of no proof of insurance. I asked the motorist to why I can not issue a civilian a citation if they commit a traffic violation in my jurisdiction. They told me its because I do not have credentials to be a real police officer. I issued the civilian the maximum amount of citations they earned and said, "You have a right to juris prudence and drive safely".Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Jan 24 at 2015 4:30 PM2015-01-24T16:30:31-05:002015-01-24T16:30:31-05:001SG Private RallyPoint Member434042<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My co-workers always ask what I do on my "weekends". They think I just do nothing but march around in formations and practice shooting guns. If only they new the powerpointed truth.<br /><br />During the war I had one worker believing that as a "weekend warrior" we would take a long flight out to Iraq, engage in a quick battle, the fly back. We would do other training during the flights.Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 5:05 PM2015-01-24T17:05:32-05:002015-01-24T17:05:32-05:00PO2 Stephen Brinkley (Scott)434130<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Oh you were in the Navy... You didn't serve in Iraq!Response by PO2 Stephen Brinkley (Scott) made Jan 24 at 2015 6:21 PM2015-01-24T18:21:29-05:002015-01-24T18:21:29-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member434990<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I was still junior in my career, a lady from home, upon seeing me on leave in civilian clothes, asked me why I wasn't wearing my uniform. "Don't you have to wear your dress uniform when you are off base on leave?" I told her that we didn't have to do that once we left Camp Swampy. The look on her face was priceless.Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 9:21 AM2015-01-25T09:21:29-05:002015-01-25T09:21:29-05:00SSG Matt Murphy435766<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A young lass in Australia saw my Marine Corps sweatshirt and asked me if that was a "gang"....I told her yes....with a few hundred thousand members and all of us fully armed....Response by SSG Matt Murphy made Jan 25 at 2015 6:48 PM2015-01-25T18:48:28-05:002015-01-25T18:48:28-05:00SSG Matt Murphy435768<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A young lad in Australia, seeing my Viet Nam vet cover...asked me if I was in Viet Nam.....I said yes. He then asked if it was fun.......Response by SSG Matt Murphy made Jan 25 at 2015 6:49 PM2015-01-25T18:49:59-05:002015-01-25T18:49:59-05:00SSG Matt Murphy437193<div class="images-v2-count-1"><div class="content-picture image-v2-number-1" id="image-20472"> <div class="social_icons social-buttons-on-image">
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<a class="fancybox" rel="5079a8d6eec9c22c0626a454b1dcc622" href="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/020/472/for_gallery_v2/youngest_viet_nam_vet_tj_murphy.JPG"><img src="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/020/472/large_v3/youngest_viet_nam_vet_tj_murphy.JPG" alt="Youngest viet nam vet tj murphy" /></a></div></div>...wearing a Viet Nam Vet cover, a young lad in Australia asked me if I served in Viet Nam.....I said yes. He then asked me if it was fun......Response by SSG Matt Murphy made Jan 26 at 2015 4:22 PM2015-01-26T16:22:42-05:002015-01-26T16:22:42-05:00CPL Zachariah Chitwood440035<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I couldn't have someone yell in my face, I would knock 'em out". Yeah, no. They would smoke you endlessly and continue yelling at you...Response by CPL Zachariah Chitwood made Jan 27 at 2015 11:00 PM2015-01-27T23:00:38-05:002015-01-27T23:00:38-05:00SPC Private RallyPoint Member440475<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Before BCT: I was in high school and some of my friends knew I was leaving for the army. Some cried and hugged me because they thought of war movies and believed I was going to die. At basic...<br /><br />After BCT: I returned home a few months later and said friends asked me if I killed anyone... <br /><br />I always get this question from strangers and other random people, "So, do you go out and shoot people?" They definitely need to stop taking Hollywood so seriously.Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2015 8:50 AM2015-01-28T08:50:49-05:002015-01-28T08:50:49-05:00MSG Private RallyPoint Member446510<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Oh I can do that too!!Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 8:20 AM2015-01-31T08:20:01-05:002015-01-31T08:20:01-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member446513<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I just got home from my second tour around Veterans Day and on Veterans Day, I was in a covenants store and a little kid looked at his mom and said is that guy a veteran. The mother replied " no honey veterans are old" so I pulled my combat patch off and handed it to the kid and said here buddy I got this patch while I was in Iraq.Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 8:21 AM2015-01-31T08:21:50-05:002015-01-31T08:21:50-05:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member446971<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Pretty much every question about deployment.Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 1:28 PM2015-01-31T13:28:40-05:002015-01-31T13:28:40-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member447345<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>- "I was going to join the (Insert Branch Here), but I heard that they brainwash you" -<br />- "So do you have a micro-chip/ tracking device implanted in you?" -<br /><br />I never know how to respond so I just walk away, pondering just how incompetent some people are.Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 6:08 PM2015-01-31T18:08:12-05:002015-01-31T18:08:12-05:00A1C Private RallyPoint Member447379<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>People ask what plane I fly. Then I tell them I pack parachutes and work with aircraft safety systems, then they ask what kind of planes I've jumped out of. I just tell them I will jump someday and let them know how it is.Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 6:29 PM2015-01-31T18:29:43-05:002015-01-31T18:29:43-05:00MAJ Private RallyPoint Member463372<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Said with all seriousness, and without irony:<br />"I think I'd probably fit best in the infantry - I'm already a General in Call of Duty!"Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 2:43 PM2015-02-08T14:43:21-05:002015-02-08T14:43:21-05:00CPT Private RallyPoint Member463382<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>As a SGT fresh out of the Marines I was applying to be a shift leader at McDonalds. I was told no for the job because I had no leadership or management skills or training.Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 2:49 PM2015-02-08T14:49:47-05:002015-02-08T14:49:47-05:00PO2 Private RallyPoint Member463533<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Had a girl ask me if I was in the Army after seeing me in my Blue NWUs lolResponse by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 4:21 PM2015-02-08T16:21:19-05:002015-02-08T16:21:19-05:00SSgt Chris Lowe463663<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The military just isn't for me, but I'd consider joining the Coast Guard.Response by SSgt Chris Lowe made Feb 8 at 2015 5:21 PM2015-02-08T17:21:26-05:002015-02-08T17:21:26-05:00MSgt Private RallyPoint Member463759<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I was doing my residence requirement for my masters degree a fellow student found out I was enlisted and they asked "they allow enlisted soldiers to get a degree when they are in? I thought that you were only allowed to use your GI bill and go to school after you get out."<br /><br />Being a smart aleck I responded that they normally like to keep us dumb, but I was able to get a general to write me a waiver. They seemed to be satisfied with that answer and walked away. Another fellow student who is a retired "E" walked over after over hearing our little exchange and said that he laughed so hard that he may have peed a little bit :-)Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 6:20 PM2015-02-08T18:20:25-05:002015-02-08T18:20:25-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member463783<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My favorite one right after coming back from Afghanistan..<br />Husband's 32 year old cousin still living at home with mom and dad: "So how was it? I mean since you are female it isn't like you were in real combat or anything."<br />Me: "it was white sandy beaches, palm trees and all the umbrella drinks I could drink while working on my tan.." <br />Him: "No need to be so sarcastic I was just asking a simple question.."<br />Me: " no it was a stupid question.. It was Combat and the enemy doesn't care about your sex... It was hell period."<br />I had no filter and little patience when I got back. He hasn't really talked to me since... Oh darn...Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 6:31 PM2015-02-08T18:31:16-05:002015-02-08T18:31:16-05:00CW3 Private RallyPoint Member464108<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I had a young man try to tell me if he was in Afghanistan he would definitely get rid of his M16 for an AK 47 because it has higher power ratio and is a better all around weapon. Fist off no its not and second you can't just get rid of your issued weapons. I this someone has been playing too much Call of Battlefield.Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 8:58 PM2015-02-08T20:58:29-05:002015-02-08T20:58:29-05:00SPC Sean Carney464324<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Civilian "I would have liked to join the Army but I couldn't handle how strict it is, I have to have my freedom"<br />Me "Please explain how you couldn't handle the Army but California Highway Patrol was right up your ally?"Response by SPC Sean Carney made Feb 8 at 2015 11:13 PM2015-02-08T23:13:28-05:002015-02-08T23:13:28-05:00MAJ Private RallyPoint Member464339<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I worked in ROTC at a very liberal state school. My boss (a LTC) and I were in the on-campus bank switching over the names to the Cadet account. One of the professors asked, "Are you guys buying guns?"Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 11:22 PM2015-02-08T23:22:41-05:002015-02-08T23:22:41-05:00MSgt Michelle Mondia464963<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My friend and I at a bar out side our air station... Drunk elderly man leans over at the bar..."you ladies in the Air Force?" "Yup, we are" Drunk guy to my friend as he looks her over, "how old are you girls?" "We're like 22..." Drunk guy says, "22 and you gotta "rack" like that!" My friend looks away mortified and I clink his beer bottle with mine thinking he's talking about the rank on our uniforms...which soon didn't really makes sense since it only consisted of three stripes...? Or maybe he was implying something else entirely.Response by MSgt Michelle Mondia made Feb 9 at 2015 10:17 AM2015-02-09T10:17:03-05:002015-02-09T10:17:03-05:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member465471<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Always telling me I know so much confidential information that I have to kill them if I tell themResponse by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 2:13 PM2015-02-09T14:13:52-05:002015-02-09T14:13:52-05:00LTC Private RallyPoint Member465709<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My mother told me that women only join the military to find husbands, and that I could do a lot better than that.Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 3:52 PM2015-02-09T15:52:47-05:002015-02-09T15:52:47-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member466921<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Just before I deployed to Iraq during the surge, I was told by a family friend to "Have a nice trip" as if I were going on a luxury vacation cruise to the Bahamas. I don't blame her for this as it was all with well intentions, and I'm pretty sure she was at a loss for words and that was the first thing that came to mind.Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 2:56 AM2015-02-10T02:56:10-05:002015-02-10T02:56:10-05:00CSM Private RallyPoint Member466925<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Civilians - Oh you're in the Army? What do you do?<br /><br />Me - I am in the Infantry.<br /><br />Civilians - Oh, what do you do in the Infantry?<br /><br />Me - I am in the organic matter disposal unit.<br /><br />Civilians - (weird look on their face) Oh, that's nice.Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 3:11 AM2015-02-10T03:11:25-05:002015-02-10T03:11:25-05:00SPC Larry Buck468299<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"It's too tough, I wouldn't last a day..."<br /><br />For the record was a jock in high school... Wanted to play pro?!Response by SPC Larry Buck made Feb 10 at 2015 5:00 PM2015-02-10T17:00:33-05:002015-02-10T17:00:33-05:00SSgt Private RallyPoint Member470370<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I had a friend go to Basic right before me. He couldn’t handle the pressure, and washed out less than two weeks later.<br /><br />Sometime after, I was complaining about something I had to do while on active duty. He said “Yeah, that’s why I got out.”<br /><br />No. You got out because you couldn’t fold your underwear into six-inch squares.Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 4:00 PM2015-02-11T16:00:38-05:002015-02-11T16:00:38-05:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member470830<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Heres a good one, i am too smart to join the army! This coming from someone who scored a 17 on his asvab!!!Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 8:17 PM2015-02-11T20:17:42-05:002015-02-11T20:17:42-05:00SPC Private RallyPoint Member471659<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The funniest comment I have heard a civilian say was, "those who join the military only do it because they can't cut it in college." That explains why a high number of those who get out use their education benefits to better themselves and their future by attending an institution of higher education on the government's tab (thank you).Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 12 at 2015 10:51 AM2015-02-12T10:51:17-05:002015-02-12T10:51:17-05:00CPL Brendan Hayes471665<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Now, I've never been in combat, but I usally have one class clown type of student a semester who asks, "Have you killed anybody?" My typical response, "I've been told I can't talk about that anymore." Dead silence usually follows.Response by CPL Brendan Hayes made Feb 12 at 2015 10:53 AM2015-02-12T10:53:04-05:002015-02-12T10:53:04-05:00Cpl Harold Portillo471965<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>People wanting to go protest westbatist church I laugh at themResponse by Cpl Harold Portillo made Feb 12 at 2015 1:23 PM2015-02-12T13:23:28-05:002015-02-12T13:23:28-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member473211<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"So you guys don't pay taxes, right?"Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 13 at 2015 12:24 AM2015-02-13T00:24:03-05:002015-02-13T00:24:03-05:00MAJ(P) Private RallyPoint Member473250<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"You were too dumb to go to college or get a real job...you loser."<br /><br /><br />It made my smile on the outside and cry on the inside.Response by MAJ(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 13 at 2015 12:51 AM2015-02-13T00:51:11-05:002015-02-13T00:51:11-05:00SSgt Private RallyPoint Member474218<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Basically all Air Force personnel <br /><br />Civilian woman "What kind of plane do you fly?!"<br />Me "I don't fly the plane sadly, I fix them ma'am."<br />Civilian woman *looks dazed and confused*Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 13 at 2015 1:32 PM2015-02-13T13:32:39-05:002015-02-13T13:32:39-05:00Cpl Brock Seeman474320<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You been to afghanistan? yes. So do you suffer from PTSD and shit??Response by Cpl Brock Seeman made Feb 13 at 2015 2:26 PM2015-02-13T14:26:19-05:002015-02-13T14:26:19-05:00SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member477118<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Do you get to play in the mud?<br />How many guns do you get to shoot? then they name every gun from COD like they have shot them...Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2015 1:42 AM2015-02-15T01:42:15-05:002015-02-15T01:42:15-05:00SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member477123<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A funny one from my son, a turning of age comment...he was about 19 or 20, he told me he has tried ever kind of alcohol and has drank more than me....I'm still laughing. He is now 22.Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2015 1:43 AM2015-02-15T01:43:39-05:002015-02-15T01:43:39-05:00SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member477125<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I'm in the National Guard now and my daughter is in the Navy on active duty, she calls one day and says what service are you in, the Marines? I'm a former Marine...and then very embarrassed asks what what I did for a job. I'm like, are you kidding me? How do you not know what I do for a living? Kids...Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2015 1:46 AM2015-02-15T01:46:45-05:002015-02-15T01:46:45-05:00SPC Grace Belen485455<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I would've joined, but I don't like being told what to do." Ofcourse, this makes perfect sense, because in the civilian world, you don't have people like your boss that tells you what do.Response by SPC Grace Belen made Feb 19 at 2015 11:14 AM2015-02-19T11:14:34-05:002015-02-19T11:14:34-05:00SPC Jeff Leonard485626<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was in the Cavalry (19D) when I tell someone that the immediately ask did I ride a horse.Response by SPC Jeff Leonard made Feb 19 at 2015 12:50 PM2015-02-19T12:50:22-05:002015-02-19T12:50:22-05:00CPT Zachary Brooks485937<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Anything written by the Huffington Post about the military.Response by CPT Zachary Brooks made Feb 19 at 2015 3:09 PM2015-02-19T15:09:50-05:002015-02-19T15:09:50-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member489340<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Do you serve in the Marines?", as im wearing my ACUs with an army name tape not hidden.Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 21 at 2015 8:42 AM2015-02-21T08:42:34-05:002015-02-21T08:42:34-05:00SGT Rik Thibodeau489351<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>So many but this is probably my favorite:<br /><br />I originally joined the Army Reserves in '89 to help pay for college and during my senior year I had one roommate named Ed from Manhattan who, although a very nice guy, wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. My NCOIC was named SGT Steve Palmer and he was coming up for a visit one evening (we were good friends off duty as well). I told my roommates that SGT Palmer, my "Army boss" was coming by that night to visit and Ed started acting a little weird. He started asking me a bunch of questions about Steve like what is he like, is he mean, etc., etc. I didn't really know why he was so interested but it quickly became obvious that he had never had any experience or interaction with anything military related because at one point he leaned over and quietly asked "He's not going to make me do pushups, is he?". <br /><br />Steve and I still laugh about it to this day.Response by SGT Rik Thibodeau made Feb 21 at 2015 9:01 AM2015-02-21T09:01:30-05:002015-02-21T09:01:30-05:00SrA Jonathan Carbonaro489353<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I worked the gate, I heard<br />"Stay Warm" "Stay Dry" "Stay Cool" this is the biggest slap in the face to a gate guard. Because you're reminding someone who is miserable about their misery.<br /><br />I had someone call the Air Force, the Chair Force. When I asked him for his military affiliation he had never served, but had a brother who was in the Marines. I told him to shut his damn mouth, because he had no idea what he was talking about and had no room to talk. I've never had a desk, and the only chair that I've had while at work was held together by 550 cord and duct tape.Response by SrA Jonathan Carbonaro made Feb 21 at 2015 9:03 AM2015-02-21T09:03:20-05:002015-02-21T09:03:20-05:00SPC Stewart Smith489985<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Guy at work thinks I am some super badass that can beat up 20 guys at once. Whenever we go out he's always trying to start shit so he could see how badass I am. I'm like 'bro, I'm not gonna help you get my ass kicked.'Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Feb 21 at 2015 4:05 PM2015-02-21T16:05:16-05:002015-02-21T16:05:16-05:00PO1 Private RallyPoint Member490152<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I had a civilian that tried to accuse me of stolen valor because I didn't know who his friend was who is in the Navy, who couldn't understand that not everyone know each other.Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 21 at 2015 6:52 PM2015-02-21T18:52:58-05:002015-02-21T18:52:58-05:00CPO Bernie Penkin493440<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I tell folks I am retired Coast Guard I get the "That's just like the Navy but you don't go anywhere." I always like the surprised look I get when I tell them I sailed to Antarctica twice. <br /><br />When young men would come to call on my daughter we would eventually have "the talk." After a short while I would let the young man know That I served my country, was trained in the use of law enforcement tactics, owned guns and have participated in classified missions that I can't talk about. All of these things are true. The potential suitor has no idea that some routine deployments are classified. However, their imangination would take over and they come up with all kinds of things on their own. <br /><br />Fear of dad was always a good motivator. My daughter actually useed it too. One boyfriend was terrified to come to the house. Not sure what she said, but they broke up shortly after that. Mission accomplished!Response by CPO Bernie Penkin made Feb 23 at 2015 2:58 PM2015-02-23T14:58:59-05:002015-02-23T14:58:59-05:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member493637<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>In 1988 I was a SPC, I had a mini-tactical flashlight with a red lens on it. It was attached to my LBE, lens pointing up. On a flight home from Germany for REFORGER, a steward pointed at it and asked: "Is that a laser!?" I said "Yes... it is." He then asked "Can you show me how it works?" I told him "No, I can't. If I turn it on, it'll cut through the bulkhead or wherever I'm pointing it, and we don't want that..." He said "You're right... we probably don't want that..."Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2015 4:44 PM2015-02-23T16:44:36-05:002015-02-23T16:44:36-05:00CPO Emmett (Bud) Carpenter494015<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I'm at the airport in uniform. A lady comes up to me and ask if I'm in the Army. <br />Me: No ma'am I'm in the Navy. <br />Her: What do you do in the Navy?<br />Me: I'm in a F14 fighter squardon. <br />Her: What's a F14?<br />Me: It's a Jet airplane. <br />Her: Oh,I thought you said you were in the Navy but it sounds like you are in the Air Force. <br />Me: ma'am I have to catch my plane.Response by CPO Emmett (Bud) Carpenter made Feb 23 at 2015 8:33 PM2015-02-23T20:33:08-05:002015-02-23T20:33:08-05:00COL Charles Williams494262<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Aside from... How many people have you killed... <br /><br />The funniest thing is always... "Wow you are in the Army... Do you know Joe Blow... He is in the Army too... " Do people realize there are like half a million people on active duty... another half a million or more in the RC.... WTF.Response by COL Charles Williams made Feb 23 at 2015 10:54 PM2015-02-23T22:54:12-05:002015-02-23T22:54:12-05:00LtCol Private RallyPoint Member505245<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>On my domestic flight, final leg of my PCS from Germany to California. Lady next to me: "are you in the military?" Me: "yes, I'm a Marine." Lady, very cautious and tentatively: "are you just coming home?" Me, amused: "actually I'm just moving back from being in Germany for a couple years." Her, still cautious and with a concerned sympathetic look: "So, was it pretty bad over there?" Me, mind blown: "yeah, it was pretty rough." Her: "well, thank you and welcome home!" I appreciated her concern, but not every service member on an airplane is on their way back from combat...Response by LtCol Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 3:26 PM2015-03-01T15:26:32-05:002015-03-01T15:26:32-05:00SGT Jim Z.525239<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Oh you work at Fort Bragg do you know SPC Smith he works on Bragg...Really Bragg is its own city.Response by SGT Jim Z. made Mar 11 at 2015 7:20 PM2015-03-11T19:20:42-04:002015-03-11T19:20:42-04:00SGT Beau Thomas525420<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was walking down Street in my hometown in my black beret and ACU's maybe ten years ago. a woman walks by and asks if I'm a green beret. I said "Why yes I am." She must of had some weird color blindness.Response by SGT Beau Thomas made Mar 11 at 2015 8:55 PM2015-03-11T20:55:17-04:002015-03-11T20:55:17-04:00Sgt Matt Pinardi525502<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I don't necessarily know about funny, but I have been asked on more than one occasion " did you ever kill anybody ?" That over intrusive and ignorant question infuriates me. The similarly ridiculous question is" is combat like call of duty?"<br />I guess it's funny in regards to the fact that many people don't have filters or safety's engaged before they speak.Response by Sgt Matt Pinardi made Mar 11 at 2015 9:37 PM2015-03-11T21:37:32-04:002015-03-11T21:37:32-04:00MAJ Private RallyPoint Member525680<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Here's a couple:<br /><br />My coworkers started asking me questions and one brought up my security clearance. I answered truthfully stating that I have a top secret with SCI clearance. They replied with: "You should totally tell us something classified." A. Simply having a clearance does not mean I know anything more than you do. B. Even if I did know something super secret squirrel, why would I violate OPSEC and share it with someone I met yesterday?<br /><br />In 2011 I was preparing to deploy as a part of Operation New Dawn. When my mother mentioned this to one of her friends she said: "We're still in Iraq? The President said he was getting us out of there when got elected." She was genuinely shocked that we were still there.Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2015 11:04 PM2015-03-11T23:04:50-04:002015-03-11T23:04:50-04:00LTJG Private RallyPoint Member526296<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Friend: "You were in the navy.... So all do you is swab decks?" Me: "No... only during cleaning stations"Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2015 9:26 AM2015-03-12T09:26:59-04:002015-03-12T09:26:59-04:00PV2 Alaina Norman527325<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I had a ex once ask me if i new any top secret information the govt isn't telling us, got a good laugh out of meResponse by PV2 Alaina Norman made Mar 12 at 2015 5:48 PM2015-03-12T17:48:22-04:002015-03-12T17:48:22-04:00PO2 Private RallyPoint Member527380<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Walking across a college campus, in uniform, as a MIDN about 15 years ago, I was asked to fill out membership papers by the campus chapter of the Communist Party of America. <br /><br />When I politely and professionally declined, they asked if I wanted to sign up for the newsletter.Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2015 6:26 PM2015-03-12T18:26:18-04:002015-03-12T18:26:18-04:00SP5 Joel O'Brien533223<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When it comes up in casual conversation that, yes, I was in the Army...<br />The statement that usually follows is: "YOU were in the ARMY?!"Response by SP5 Joel O'Brien made Mar 16 at 2015 12:36 PM2015-03-16T12:36:03-04:002015-03-16T12:36:03-04:00MAJ Chris Ballard533257<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I don't support the war, but I support the soldier." <br /><br />How does that work, exactly? You're behind us so long as we don't win?Response by MAJ Chris Ballard made Mar 16 at 2015 1:02 PM2015-03-16T13:02:39-04:002015-03-16T13:02:39-04:00SSG Rob Cline533272<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Citizen: "Oh, you're Intel? Like James Bond and crap?"<br /><br />Me: "No"<br /><br />Citizen: "Oh, ha ha, I get it! You could tell me, but then you'd have to kill me!"<br /><br />Me: Walks away, shaking headResponse by SSG Rob Cline made Mar 16 at 2015 1:12 PM2015-03-16T13:12:26-04:002015-03-16T13:12:26-04:00SPC Joshua H.533412<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Have heard from more than a few that joining the military is just like going on welfare, and that only uneducated idiots will join because they can't do anything better.Response by SPC Joshua H. made Mar 16 at 2015 2:50 PM2015-03-16T14:50:33-04:002015-03-16T14:50:33-04:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member534367<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The classic "I was going to join" this time followed by "but I decided not to at the MEPS hotel so I snuck out during the night."Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2015 8:32 AM2015-03-17T08:32:36-04:002015-03-17T08:32:36-04:00MAJ Private RallyPoint Member537108<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Well....before I got sent overseas...my mom told me...<br /><br />"kill who you have to kill and come on home".<br /><br />This coming from a 90 Lbs little old Catholic Church lady who helps the homeless and volunteers 5 days out of the week at the church.Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2015 3:17 PM2015-03-18T15:17:07-04:002015-03-18T15:17:07-04:00SPC Private RallyPoint Member543401<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>BACK STORY!!! My mom teaches third grade. Occasionally I will walk into her classroom in my uniform, telling my mom I am on my way training for the weekend (I'm National Guard). Before I get the chance to leave, all her students will look up at me and berate me with questions. "What is your favorite gun?" I hold back my answer. "Have you been over in the war?" "No I have not deployed." "Have you killed any bad guys?" "Again, I have not deployed." "How much money do you get?" mother "Not enough" "Can you take your gun home?" "Every single night." "CAN WE SEE IT??!?!" I bust out laughing. "No that would be illegal. And I think you mean my WEAPON, in which case no I am not allowed to take that home with me" "What would you do if you were sent to the war?" "Do my job" "Can we go with you and visit?" "No."Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2015 2:34 AM2015-03-21T02:34:50-04:002015-03-21T02:34:50-04:00SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S.569286<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>That the army / marines now have "Time Out" cards for when those nasty DS / DIs are riding the baby troopies too hard.Response by SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. made Apr 3 at 2015 9:14 AM2015-04-03T09:14:14-04:002015-04-03T09:14:14-04:00MAJ Chris Ballard570369<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I can't believe they're making you go over there! Can't you just tell them no?" Sure you can. I hear the RCF is lovely this time of year. Me, I sorta liked my commission.Response by MAJ Chris Ballard made Apr 3 at 2015 7:00 PM2015-04-03T19:00:46-04:002015-04-03T19:00:46-04:00MAJ Chris Ballard571806<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I had a woman offer me a big smile and an enthusiastic "Congratulations!" when she saw my Purple Heart license plate. Uhhh . . . thanks, I guess? <br /><br />All I could think of was The Princess Bride: "I dinna think that means what you think it means."Response by MAJ Chris Ballard made Apr 4 at 2015 5:59 PM2015-04-04T17:59:13-04:002015-04-04T17:59:13-04:00PO1 John Miller583140<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was home on leave after A school, and my sister and a friend of hers were asking me why a guy with a gold badge had come around a few weeks before asking questions about me (he was doing the background check for my security clearance). I told them the reason.<br /><br />They then asked me if I got to see pictures of the "UFO's that got shot down and were being held at Area 52."Response by PO1 John Miller made Apr 10 at 2015 4:33 AM2015-04-10T04:33:51-04:002015-04-10T04:33:51-04:00SSgt Private RallyPoint Member584075<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Something that happens frequently that makes me question rather or not they still teach people how to read in school...<br /><br />In a public place, in my uniform that clearly says U.S. Air Force on it and a civilian walks up to me and says something along the lines of "Thanks for your service, I almost joined the Army too." <br /><br />I am grateful for the respect they just showed me by thanking me, but seriously? Can people not read these days?Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 10 at 2015 2:25 PM2015-04-10T14:25:55-04:002015-04-10T14:25:55-04:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member584762<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>While I was deployed to Iraq, I was talking to an old friend from high school, and when she asked where I was, I told her 'Iraq' and she asked me why I was there. I told her that I was deployed there for Operation Iraqi Freedom' and she replied, "Wait, there's a war going on in Iraq?"Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 10 at 2015 9:47 PM2015-04-10T21:47:52-04:002015-04-10T21:47:52-04:00SSG Private RallyPoint Member632840<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was an instructor while assigned to D 344th MI BN, Pensacola, FL, which is subordinate to the 111th MI BDE out of Ft. Huachuca. Instructors wear a diamond-shaped badge pinned to the left pocket of their uniform, the color of which denotes their level of qualification. I was wearing the blue badge (lowest level, since I was new) when I walked into a local McDonalds to grab a bite. This hillbilly kid (probably 15 or 16) looks at me as I walk in and his jaw hits the floor, a star-struck look on his face. I don't think much of it, and proceed to place my order and embrace my inner fat boy. After I get my drink I turn around to see him standing in front of me, his jaw still on the floor. He slowly raises his hand and points to my instructor badge, then musters up the courage to ask, ". . .is that the Medal of Honor?"Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 7:58 PM2015-04-30T19:58:26-04:002015-04-30T19:58:26-04:00SPC Nate Lamphier648844<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Upon my return from a 12 month deployment to Baghdad I had this conversation.<br /><br />Conversation #1<br />Civilian: How long were you gone?<br />Me: 12 months.<br />Civilian: Well it couldn't have been that bad since we captured Saddam and killed Bin Laden. <br />Me: You're right. <br />----------------------------------------<br />Conversation #2<br /><br />Civilian: I'm thinking of joining.<br />Me: What makes you think that?<br />Civilian: I've been playing Battlefield 4 and I have been pretty successful. I think I would have a good career in the Army.<br />Me: Definitely...the only downer is the whole no respawn thing. But other than that, you definitely have a leg up on everyone.<br /><br />I should note that this individual was indeed....serious.Response by SPC Nate Lamphier made May 7 at 2015 11:51 AM2015-05-07T11:51:52-04:002015-05-07T11:51:52-04:00MAJ Chris Ballard649385<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A conversation that happened way too often as a young lieutenant:<br /><br />Them: "Where have you been?"<br />Me: "Korea."<br />Them, nodding sagely: "North or South?"<br />Me: "Uhhh... South. If it were North it would probably have been on the news."<br />Them: ... blink ... <br /><br />Alternately:<br />Them: "Oh, *South* Korea! Well, at least it's warm!"<br />Me: "Yes. Like South Dakota."Response by MAJ Chris Ballard made May 7 at 2015 2:13 PM2015-05-07T14:13:21-04:002015-05-07T14:13:21-04:00PO1 John Miller651536<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Oh, you were in the Navy? My co-worker Joe Schmoe was in the Navy too. Do you know him?"<br /><br />Me: "Short hair, drinks a lot of beer, curses a lot? Nope, never met him."Response by PO1 John Miller made May 8 at 2015 3:47 AM2015-05-08T03:47:26-04:002015-05-08T03:47:26-04:00SSG Paul Setterholm655104<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>After active duty I applied at our local police department. The captain interviewing me said,"I see here your were in the army. Were you an M.P.?" I said, "no,I was infantry." He looked puzzled. He said,"infantry? What's that?" (Really? I thought) I said," we kill people and we break things." I didn't get hired. Not sure why.Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 9 at 2015 11:07 AM2015-05-09T11:07:35-04:002015-05-09T11:07:35-04:00SSG Paul Setterholm655134<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>After 9/11 their was a suspected terrorist attack on Mount Rushmore and they sent the initial response team to guard it on the Fourth of July week.(we use to be called the alert reactionary force but the governor thought that sounded too militant) the sector I was assigned was a road with Washington's head just behind us. There was a walking trail up to the monument but everyone was directed to use from entrance.<br /> A grandfather with grandchildren came walking down the road and headed for the trail. I stopped him and said you need to enter through the front entrance. He got smug and said he takes his grandkids up here every year and use this trail. I told him "I can't let you thru." He replied,"you and I both know you don't have any bullets in that gun!" I dropped the magazine and showed him the rounds. His jaw dropped and his face turned pale and he walked on. As he walked on he stared at each soldier around the monument with deer in headlights look. <br />I still feel kind of bad about it but he did ask.Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 9 at 2015 11:25 AM2015-05-09T11:25:05-04:002015-05-09T11:25:05-04:00SSG Paul Setterholm655156<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I stationed in Germany, I was learning to speak the language. So I learned their dialect well enough that German girls thought I was a German pretending to be an American to pick up women.Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 9 at 2015 11:34 AM2015-05-09T11:34:37-04:002015-05-09T11:34:37-04:00SPC Arnab Das683140<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Civilian: "Thank you for your service sir! Welcome home. Where you coming from? Afghanistan?"<br /><br />Me: "Syracuse" (for drill)Response by SPC Arnab Das made May 20 at 2015 12:39 PM2015-05-20T12:39:53-04:002015-05-20T12:39:53-04:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member683336<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>That they pay our salary...Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2015 1:13 PM2015-05-20T13:13:34-04:002015-05-20T13:13:34-04:00TSgt David L.683764<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My friend is in the Air Force. His name is "X" and is at some base. Do you know/have you met him?<br />AND,<br />I thought everyone in the Air Force flew planes/Doesn't everyone in the Air Force fly airplanes?Response by TSgt David L. made May 20 at 2015 2:36 PM2015-05-20T14:36:24-04:002015-05-20T14:36:24-04:00MSG Private RallyPoint Member816942<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Oh, you are in the Army? I'm a Colonel in the underground military." This was actually said to me.Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 1:17 PM2015-07-15T13:17:35-04:002015-07-15T13:17:35-04:00LCDR Private RallyPoint Member816949<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I don't know if it's funny, but the vast majority think all pilots are Air Force. Clearly, Top Gun is not an Air Force movie. Plebs.Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 1:19 PM2015-07-15T13:19:25-04:002015-07-15T13:19:25-04:00SFC Nikhil Kumra816971<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I'm going to start using these on people. I need to ask someone how many m16's they brought home. Lmao wtfResponse by SFC Nikhil Kumra made Jul 15 at 2015 1:26 PM2015-07-15T13:26:20-04:002015-07-15T13:26:20-04:00MAJ Ken Landgren816989<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The U.S. Military will capture Americans for UN slave camps.Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jul 15 at 2015 1:29 PM2015-07-15T13:29:56-04:002015-07-15T13:29:56-04:00SFC Private RallyPoint Member879355<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"I almost joined, but I figured I'd kick a drill sergeants ass if he got in my face"Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 10 at 2015 5:25 PM2015-08-10T17:25:56-04:002015-08-10T17:25:56-04:00LCDR Private RallyPoint Member884849<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Boarding a plane at BWI as a Mid, this nice elderly couple behind me on the ramp...the lady leans in close to her husband and whispers, "He looks very young...are you sure he's old enough to fly this plane?" <br /><br />Later-In summer whites in Baltimore, tourist stops and asks me for directions. When I responded that I was just visiting, he replied, "Yeah, but I think a cop should know the city he's in...even if it ain't his jurisdiction!"<br /><br />First week on the new job- Coworker asks, "What do you think, does the 5.56 make a larger exit wound or the 7.62?" I stared at him a moment then replied, "I dunno...ask a Marine."Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 12 at 2015 4:19 PM2015-08-12T16:19:49-04:002015-08-12T16:19:49-04:00CW4 Pam Collins885193<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>So I don't know what you plan on doing when you retire. All the Army has taught you is how to march and peel potatoes. (I have three graduate degrees. I think I'll be OK).Response by CW4 Pam Collins made Aug 12 at 2015 6:42 PM2015-08-12T18:42:25-04:002015-08-12T18:42:25-04:00MSgt Brian Welch887145<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was at a cookout at a civilian friends house. One of his guests, an engineer, after discovering I was in the military butted into the conversation to tell me "all military are government welfare workers". He went on to say "without my government welfare job I'd probably be homeless or a leach on the system in another way". I paused for a moment then took his beer out of his hand and tossed it in the trash can and went back to my conversation. As the night went on I kept sneaking up on him and taking his beer.Response by MSgt Brian Welch made Aug 13 at 2015 1:31 PM2015-08-13T13:31:09-04:002015-08-13T13:31:09-04:00SrA Private RallyPoint Member887631<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When I wear my flight suit people think I'm a pilot.... I'm not a pilot I'm airborne communications and I'm enlisted!Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 13 at 2015 4:19 PM2015-08-13T16:19:19-04:002015-08-13T16:19:19-04:00PO1 Jeff Coon887641<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"You guys are all alike" I immediately started laughing, because it's kinda true.Response by PO1 Jeff Coon made Aug 13 at 2015 4:21 PM2015-08-13T16:21:50-04:002015-08-13T16:21:50-04:00SrA Edward Vong887777<div class="images-v2-count-1"><div class="content-picture image-v2-number-1" id="image-55694"> <div class="social_icons social-buttons-on-image">
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<a class="fancybox" rel="38b34ca45969448d7392688176e9aadd" href="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/055/694/for_gallery_v2/0bc08542.jpg"><img src="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/055/694/large_v3/0bc08542.jpg" alt="0bc08542" /></a></div></div>Since I was in the Air Force, they constantly ask me....what do you fly? My answer is "I pilot the MHU-83"Response by SrA Edward Vong made Aug 13 at 2015 5:03 PM2015-08-13T17:03:22-04:002015-08-13T17:03:22-04:00SFC Nikhil Kumra887902<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>1) SEALS are better... RIGHT?????????????? (thin I heard this one twice...)<br />2) Infantry? .... What's that? (braindead chick at community college)<br />3) So you go to kill women and children? (cabby in Chicago while on mid-tour leave - I think what was more impressive was hearing my dad rain the fear of hell on him worse than any drill sgt ever could in his broken Indian accent)<br />4) I'm in college, I know! (protester at UIC during my undergrad time)Response by SFC Nikhil Kumra made Aug 13 at 2015 5:51 PM2015-08-13T17:51:27-04:002015-08-13T17:51:27-04:00Sgt David Hendricks1056804<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I guess I can post this here, even though the guy I was talking to was a retired Master Sargent (he counts as a civilian right?). <br /><br />When I went through BMT in 87, they were still issuing OD fatigues. About six months after I got to my permanent duty station (Chanute AFB) they started issuing BDUs. I had gotten to know the owner of a comic book shop in town, and one day he had a table out front of the BX selling his wares. During the course of discussion the topic of the new camouflage uniforms came up. He goes into a rant on how stupid they were and ends the discussion thus:<br /><br />Him: Do you see that guy over there? (As he point to someone across the parking lot wearing BDUs.)<br />Me: Yes.<br />Him: It doesn't work!<br />Me: ..... (What could I say?)Response by Sgt David Hendricks made Oct 21 at 2015 9:40 PM2015-10-21T21:40:53-04:002015-10-21T21:40:53-04:00Sgt David Hendricks1059195<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>After finding out that I was going to Air Force Basic, my brother (who is two years older than me), told me to make sure that I did NOT call sergeants "sir".Response by Sgt David Hendricks made Oct 22 at 2015 6:48 PM2015-10-22T18:48:27-04:002015-10-22T18:48:27-04:00MSG David Johnson1063049<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>During my time in the Reserves I was a professional truck driver. I'm over 6' and have the military bearing I had from my time on Active Duty, the comment I would get the most? Civ-You're military, right?<br />Me-Yes<br />Civ-Marines right?<br />The next question was always- Special Forces right?<br /><br />Never once was I asked if In was Air Force or Navy.Response by MSG David Johnson made Oct 24 at 2015 12:59 PM2015-10-24T12:59:56-04:002015-10-24T12:59:56-04:00MAJ Ken Landgren1140630<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I have heard horrible things from the civilians.Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Nov 30 at 2015 3:55 PM2015-11-30T15:55:08-05:002015-11-30T15:55:08-05:00SFC Pete Kain1241644<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Never really heard funny, just a lot of rude...stupid and insulting crap. But hey if they were buying the role on moron.Response by SFC Pete Kain made Jan 17 at 2016 4:11 PM2016-01-17T16:11:03-05:002016-01-17T16:11:03-05:00SPC Private RallyPoint Member1752433<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The ones that kill me are the "I would have joined but...*insert bullshit excuse here*"<br />That gets me every time, and I usually just look at them and go "yeah, cool story bro. Let me know when you want to run with the real men."<br /><br />The other one that gets me is the guys from ZERT, thinking they are so tacticool that they are practically operators. That one I just sit back and go "alrighty, buddy boy. Ruck up and come on. Let's see if you can keep up." They usually bow out REALLY quick.Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 26 at 2016 4:54 PM2016-07-26T16:54:01-04:002016-07-26T16:54:01-04:00PVT Private RallyPoint Member1909188<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>"Oh you're in the National Guard? So you're only half a soldier"Response by PVT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2016 1:18 PM2016-09-20T13:18:24-04:002016-09-20T13:18:24-04:00Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen2295405<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You military folks are so lucky to not have to pay Social Security.Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Jan 30 at 2017 7:27 AM2017-01-30T07:27:19-05:002017-01-30T07:27:19-05:00SPC Mike Lake3441486<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I remember when I first was in processing at the 82nd Airborne we were just standing out there taking a few minute break and a bus load of kids screamed out the window Cherrrrriiieesss !!!!!!....LMAO funniest thing everResponse by SPC Mike Lake made Mar 12 at 2018 10:38 PM2018-03-12T22:38:34-04:002018-03-12T22:38:34-04:00SGT Private RallyPoint Member3441625<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was asked what army I was, when in my class A's, in Virginia, 1974.Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2018 11:33 PM2018-03-12T23:33:48-04:002018-03-12T23:33:48-04:00PO2 Patrick Dwyer5039892<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My daughter in early grade school told her class her dad was a Doctor in the Navy and now he works in the Oil & Gas industry. I was a Corpsman and our Marines called us “Doc” her class must have thought boy did he screw up!! LOLResponse by PO2 Patrick Dwyer made Sep 19 at 2019 1:22 PM2019-09-19T13:22:47-04:002019-09-19T13:22:47-04:00SGT Mark Anderson5052384<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My niece once mentioned "the flying army" to me in a conversation. Puzzled, I asked her if she meant the air force and she replied "Oh...".Response by SGT Mark Anderson made Sep 23 at 2019 12:45 PM2019-09-23T12:45:45-04:002019-09-23T12:45:45-04:00SPC Private RallyPoint Member6136546<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My wife saw people setting up tents for a field exercise the following conversation happened. Are they getting ready to deploy? Me: not necessarily, they’re doing a field exercise. Her: oh so they’re playing pretend! (She still jokes about it occasionally) I can only sigh and shake my head.Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2020 9:07 PM2020-07-24T21:07:36-04:002020-07-24T21:07:36-04:002015-01-18T13:21:06-05:00