What’s the toughest decision you’ve ever had to make as a Commander (or leader)?

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 02:00:36 -0400

I assumed Company Command as a 1LT. It was by far the toughest job I’ve ever had. As a leader you’re trusted to make the best decisions possible with the information available. However, some decisions are hard to live with. One of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make was to discharge a brilliant and promising junior enlisted Soldier for drug use. What tough decision shaped your career?

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Mar 27 at 2018 6:41 AM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 06:41:58 -0400

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member I commanded two companies, a battalion, and three brigades, so to pull out anyone tough decision is like looking for a needle in a haystack after 37 years. Like you my first command was as a 1LT and there is nothing like hopping into the frying pan right out of the gate in your officer career. One of the many tough decisions I had to make was going head-to-head with General Officer at Mobilization (knowing that if I lost I could get relieved of my command or some type of Administrative discipline), but I knew in my heart I was right and I got my ducks all lined up and went against him head on and in the end I won the tug of war with GO. I was right and my other GO's that knew me came to my side and supported my decision. It was a calculated risk, but I took as every good leader should when they have all of their stuff together in one hand bag (duffle bag). Make sure before you go against your superior you have your stuff together (dress right dress). Good luck my friend and there are many of us you can call on, if you need us Michael! Been there and got the T-Shirt!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2018 6:45 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 06:45:19 -0400

Thanks for sharing!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2018 9:24 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 09:24:17 -0400

Risking my career and probable jail time to force-detox a soldier that had drunk himself into a borderline comatose state. Sat him in a chair, ran an IV line and waited. He came around after about an hour, and we spent the next three days dumping his stomach, running fluids and keeping him stable. After that --after he realized that there actually were people who cared about him-- he self-enrolled into ASAP and got himself straightened out. That man that used to be called a shitbag on a daily basis is now a promotable E-7 and is on orders to be a 1SG. I don't want to say that the encounter helped shaped his career, because I truly don't know. But it certainly shaped mine.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Mar 27 at 2018 9:26 AM

SGM Bill Frazer — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 09:26:43 -0400

Every damn time I had to pick one of my people to go on point during deployments.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Mar 27 at 2018 9:47 AM

SGT Philip Roncari — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 09:47:30 -0400

In my case it wasn’t a single decision but that nagging worry if I had done enough in my training of AIT trainees on their way to Vietnam as 11Bs-11Cs,I know that my short time with them was not the only thing that would give them a better chance of coming home,but I was a young NCO and hoped my experiences and lessons learned out weighed my immaturity ,hope so.

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Mar 27 at 2018 9:47 AM

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 09:47:39 -0400

That's a long story lol

Response by CWO3 Randy Weston made Mar 27 at 2018 10:22 AM

CWO3 Randy Weston — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:22:32 -0400

I found that any decision that affected another's career negatively were the most difficult. My approach has always been, what is the fair thing to do. A potential decision shaped my career the most and that was the decision I would have to make to send my guys (and gals) to their potential death. On a ship the one most catastrophic event is a main space fire and we spent thousands of man hours in preparation. Knowing that when I sent that 15 man team into that space that the odds of everyone coming out alive were against us motivated me to have the best plan, a program to reduce hazards, and the motivation to train, train, and train some more to ensure to the best of my ability, I would bring every one of my sailors back alive.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2018 10:59 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:59:59 -0400

Reporting a Senior Officer for KKK affiliation and embezzlement. the results was retiring as an E-5 with 17 years time in grade.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Mar 27 at 2018 11:35 AM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 11:35:34 -0400

Here's my top three. They were more personal and professional than leadership decisions I suppose, but they were difficult.

1. Toughest decision: putting family before career. This is not the same a putting family before duty to country--didn't do that. This is making family oriented decisions, such as volunteering for a remote assignment or not, a priority over the things that make one look good to a promotion board. As it turns out, every time I made a decision that was good for my family, it was also good for my career.
2. Turning down an aircraft: this is something many pilots should identify with. On at least three occasions I refused to fly an aircraft with a mechanical or structural problem that the maintenance people said was okay to fly. There's a lot of pressure from both the ops and log side of the chain of command to accept the "flyable" aircraft. Each time I believed the aircraft was not safe to fly so I didn't. Most grievous was a C-130 with a large hole in the skin on the bottom of the aircraft just forward of the ramp hinge. You could actually put your hands through the hole and you could see the structural members, which maintenance said were just fine. I said "no, not for me today."
3. Retiring from the Air Force. This was both a professional and family decision. I was passed over for Colonel. I wasn't surprised it happened because a committee of GO/FO at the command decided to give their one "Definitely Promote" to a once-passed-over Lt Col wile awarding the two of us in the primary zone a "Promote." They thought they could get three Colonels doing it that way. You guessed it, they got one, the guy that had been passed over. I took this as a sign the Air Force didn't really need my services any more and dropped my retirement papers. Then DESERT STORM happened. I delayed my retirement a year. The Maj Gen I worked for asked if I would reconsider. He said he would fight for me to get the Definitely Promote so I could be promoted the second time around. I told him I appreciated the offer very much, but I didn't want to do a disservice (screw) the people in the primary zone the way I had been. He respected my decision. I became a government contractor with a great job for the next 16 years.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2018 11:55 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 11:55:56 -0400

#1 has been top of mind as I continue to grow my military career.

Response by LTC Thomas Tennant made Mar 27 at 2018 2:52 PM

LTC Thomas Tennant — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 14:52:44 -0400

After three company commands and four battalions (reserves are like that) ...and numerous staff positions, the hardest decision was to admit I needed help. Up until that point, as a young mustang officer, I was very good at taking charge, taking names, and coming up with some good solutions and action plans. But there was the time I was put in a situation where I was "darned if I did and damn if I didn't"...and my people knew it. So, I asked for help. I got it from some surprising quarters and "we" (the unit and I) came thru okay. Later in my career, I became better at delegating tasks while making sure the mission and intent was spelled out. The other lesson I learned is that decision delayed only makes things worse. So set a deadline and do not extend it. Finally, you are put in a "damned if you do or don't" position, if the outcomes are equally distasteful even after asking for help, then do...victims lie down and quit but action is its own balm.

Response by SSgt Boyd Welch made Mar 27 at 2018 5:02 PM

SSgt Boyd Welch — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 17:02:02 -0400

I've never been an officer but as an NCO, I was assigned to take over an 11 airman team of avionics techs on a shift with the worst defect rate, highest absenteeism, highest repair backlog and lowest morale of any shift in our squadron. The biggest issue was that most of my crew were young married enlisted living on a base in the desert with few options when they worked a fixed 3-11 shift. Time with their spouse and children almost non-existent. My shop chief expected me to fail when he assigned me to evening shift. I called a meeting the first night and said that when we met and exceeded our work flow requirements, I would let someone go home early. All work had to be complete for the whole crew, and QC had to sign off on random evals to ensure quality not speed was the order of the day. After 6 weeks I got called into my shop chief's office wanting to know what the H**l was going on since he had seen one of my techs downtown when he should have been at work. I told him that the only reward I could give them for superior work was to allow them time with their family. He blew a gasket eating me up one side down and down the other. He hauled me in front of my commander for violating "good order and discipline" as a leader. I showed the commander the metrics, zero absenteeism, only 1 in 38 repaired LRUs had a defect and that one was actually repairable on the flight line where the defect rate was 5 out of 7 previously. 100% pass rate on QC evaluations. Plus zero requests to be transferred to another shift. The commander looked at my data, dismissed me with "I need to speak to your supervisor for a few minutes." I came out of that with a Maintenance NCO of the Quarter and a 3 day pass. However I did inherit the ire of my shop chief. I would do it again.......

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2018 6:55 PM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 18:55:58 -0400

The first week into my command I discharged a girl for being gay. Not something I wanted to do nor my command team wanted to pursue. But she was adamant that she wanted out. We asked her to think about it but she was determined. She was in the middle of a love triangle with another soldier and a civilian. While we suspected who the other soldier was and did not approve of the blatant fraternization- again no one admitted anything. That wasn’t the worst. The worst part was, as we were processing her out, was that her family had disowned her because she was gay. It was sad that we really couldn’t do anything for her. My 1SG, being female, might have helped her a bit but outside of my knowledge. 15 yrs ago last month.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 28 at 2018 1:19 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 28 Mar 2018 13:19:30 -0400

I'll try and give sufficient detail without breaking OPSEC or giving away names, units etc. While forward deployed, I was leading a convoy of "x" number vehicles on what was supposed to be a "milk run" of about 30 miles down and back with approx. 2 hour stopover at a FOB. Unit composition was about 50% "Green": 50% "Blue", with one other officer in the convoy. When we arrived at the FOB, our convoy had split goals...mine was getting a vehicle part, the other's was picking up mail. His business concluded within a short time, and he requested to detach and RTB. Guidance at the time was a min "y" number in convoy, which he comprised detached. I argued that we'd be ready to roll soon and to wait, but ultimately, he persuaded me that it was safe to proceed, and he detached.

As events played out, our task completed early, and we left the gate behind them about 1 mile distant. We closed to within half a mile (approx.) when his detached unit was hit by a VBIED. Our position was sufficiently far enough back that we could not get a visual through the dust on his unit, and we couldn't (initially) establish comms. My No. 2. vehicle TC wanted to proceed into the site and extract/deal with any casualties. My concern was that we didn't know if there were secondaries, or even (at that time) that the attack was a VBIED and not and IED, RPG, etc. Within what seemed like a very short time from contact, I detailed units to establish security and second unit to set up overwatch on the elevated position while I called the TOC and set up support/possible MEDEVAC. I did so, and was advised to hold the position until support arrived.

Fortunately, no one was lost, and the injuries were minor. We all got back home safe that day, other than the driver of the VBIED.

I'm pretty sure the TC of my second unit disagreed with my decision, and even then, I wasn't sure myself of the choice not to "charge in to the rescue". I relied on my training, and what I deemed to be the more important task of the moment...to prevent any additional losses while securing against a possible ancillary attack.

Over the years, I've asked myself how I'd judge that choice if there had been any casualties that we could've saved by moving in immediately. My memory of the incident is vivid, and it seemed like I acted instinctively. It did teach me to consider that many actions taken in the field are based on such limited information, that "the day after", once those details are known...they may seem poor, but were possibly the only logical choice at the moment. It's also made me less eager to judge decisions made by others until I've considered what information that had at the time they were made.

Response by MAJ Doug Mattox made Apr 5 at 2018 5:07 PM

MAJ Doug Mattox — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 17:07:03 -0400

I had many tough decisions as a leader but the one that was the hardest was relieving an experienced Platoon Sergeant. There was no question he needed to be relieved but it still was very tough. He later came to me and stated he would have done the same thing in my shoes but non the less it was tough

Response by CH (LTC) Grant Speece made Apr 7 at 2018 4:27 PM

CH (LTC) Grant Speece — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 16:27:58 -0400

I was a chaplain. A chaplain doesn't usually have to report soldiers for being AWOL. However, as part of my job I taught suicide prevention classes. One guy didn't show up for the second day of training. For the only time in my career as a chaplain I had to report someone for being absent without leave.

Response by Sgt Charles Welling made Apr 10 at 2018 12:16 PM

Sgt Charles Welling — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:16:04 -0400

Seems to me he made the decision for you.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 6 at 2018 11:53 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 06 May 2018 23:53:32 -0400

Committing my soldiers to specific tasks that I know will most likely get them killed.

Response by CW3 Michael Clifford made May 13 at 2018 3:58 PM

CW3 Michael Clifford — Sun, 13 May 2018 15:58:40 -0400

Mine was right before I was appointed as a Warrant Officer One. I was a newly promoted Staff Sergeant and discovered by happenstance that my detachment Special Agent-in-Charge (a CW4) had been committing house fraud and collected about $10,000 in benefits and I went to my chain-of-command and filed a report on what I learned. He claimed it was a finance problem (failure of finance to stop housing allowance when he moved into military housing). He gave me an adverse EER for disloyalty. It didn’t stop there. Upon making Warrant, I was transferred and my new Special Agent-in-Charge and friend of my former boss and knowledgeable of what I had done. He also gave me an OER with a “2” on loyalty when all 1s were required to be retained on active duty as a member of the USAR. I made CW2 on activity at my two year mark but was reverted back to SSG at the end of my 4-year active duty commitment. In 1986, the DA board turned me down for continued active duty as a Warrant. From that point on, I was a dual component soldier as a SSG and later SFC on active duty, yet got promoted to CW3 in the inactive reserve. I continued serve for eight more years. I continued on as a CID Agent but ended up working white collar crimes, crimes of sexual violence, child molestation cases and criminal allegations against senior officers. It all prepared me well for my civilian career as an insurance fraud investigator. I also retired from the Army at the highest grade held which is CW3. I am in the process of writing three books and my reversion from warrant to the enlisted ranks will be part of them. The first two are fiction and set up the third which is based on true events of my 17 year career as a CID Special Agent and three years as a Military Policeman and Military Police dog handler.

Response by CW3 Lancaster Mendiola made May 14 at 2018 7:18 AM

CW3 Lancaster Mendiola — Mon, 14 May 2018 07:18:37 -0400

In general, my superiors were supportive and on the occasions they weren’t, it was principally miscommunications. Hearing the information first hand cleared majority of the issues. They trusted me but needed to verify it seemed. Communications was key!

Response by MAJ John Douglas made May 15 at 2018 3:43 PM

MAJ John Douglas — Tue, 15 May 2018 15:43:31 -0400

No Major commands three Brigades.

Response by SFC Russell Shaw made May 30 at 2018 5:14 AM

SFC Russell Shaw — Wed, 30 May 2018 05:14:23 -0400

Getting help for one of our units key leaders. His actions were tearing our unit apart, and no one was willing to step up and help for fear of the repercussions that may come back to them, but I discreetly worked with others and that person finally got help and again became the leader they were before they allowed life to overtake them. I knew this was within them and did not give up even when it seemed nothing was happening. I never knew their story and that did not matter what is important was that a life that could have been lost was found. Our duty to each other is to provide help I believe that anything handled properly and with respect for others will turn out well. In this case a leader found their way back and was a better person.

Response by SrA Alvin Cook made May 31 at 2018 10:28 AM

SrA Alvin Cook — Thu, 31 May 2018 10:28:41 -0400

My toughest decision was to decide between my Service career which I so loved and the future I planned for myself or leaving the Service to be the fulltime ( unpaid) caregiver to my elderly Father who had dementia. It was tough but a no brainer. My Dads care won out. Though my life didn't go in the direction I wanted/planned caring for my Dad was the BEST decision of my life.

Response by SFC Dennis A. made May 31 at 2018 4:54 PM

SFC Dennis A. — Thu, 31 May 2018 16:54:30 -0400

While in Desert Storm, I had to pick a 3 man dozer team from my platoon to breach the tank ditches along the Saudi / Iraq boarder and they would not let me be one of them. It was a very happy day when we linked up with them a couple of days later and everyone was safe and doing good.

Response by SGT Joseph Alanzo made Jun 4 at 2018 7:53 PM

SGT Joseph Alanzo — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 19:53:22 -0400

I LIFE WITH IT THE BEST WAY I CAN.

Response by SPC William Weedman made Jun 11 at 2018 3:12 AM

SPC William Weedman — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 03:12:59 -0400

As an E-3 PFC, I had to tell an E-7 SFC, O-2 1LT and my teammate an E-4 SPC that a soldier was too sick to drive a fuel truck and needed to be sent back to home base for medical care. The SNCO & Officer both gave me orders to release him and I refused. Called the O-4 Medical TF commander (SF Medic Vietnam, mustang officer) gave him the report. After chewing on the 1LT, they found a driver and I sent the soldier back to our home station for medical care. I as other said wagered the tiny rank on my collar and won. My winnings were a treated soldier and an AAM, in that order.

Response by CPT Earl George made Jun 24 at 2018 6:47 PM

CPT Earl George — Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:47:19 -0400

I commanded a BCT company at Fort Knox and as many know, you usually fill a new cycle within a couple of days of graduating one. I went 6 weeks waiting on 230 new trainees. The average age was 18. The average education was 10th grade. I only had 5 high school graduates and 197 in remedial reading. It was a tough cycle. I recommended 43 for Discharge for not having what it took to be a member of the US Army. That number was way higher than any other cycle. I was called on the number being high by my Battalion Commander. I did not feel bad when I responded, " Sir, you approved every one I submitted to you."

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jul 11 at 2019 3:28 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:28:44 -0400

Telling two very attractive soldiers that they were forbidden fruit to me. No really, it was how to stay alive with PTSD.

Response by CPT Daniel Rodriguez made Dec 31 at 2019 2:26 AM

CPT Daniel Rodriguez — Tue, 31 Dec 2019 02:26:42 -0500

I also had a command as a 1LT. There are many difficult decisions a commander makes. The toughest thing I had to do as a leader is give a Red Cross message to a soldier while deployed in the Middle East that his brother was dead back home.

Response by A1C Kenneth White made May 19 at 2020 6:24 AM

A1C Kenneth White — Tue, 19 May 2020 06:24:24 -0400

I'm sure that was tough , but you seem fine now , outstanding..

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made Feb 8 at 2021 9:00 AM

SFC Melvin Brandenburg — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:00:02 -0500

When asked by my commander for my recommendation whether one of my soldiers should or should not be chaptered out.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Feb 8 at 2021 9:54 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:54:41 -0500

As a young SGT, I reported a war crime. I was relieved of my position, givem a bad NCOER, and shuffled off to a hole in the wall office where I could see nothing and do nothing.
Later, as a SFC, I witnessed serious illegal actions collecting intelligence (not war crimes, bit still serious enough to warrant jail time). The individual in question was the golden boy of the BDE, I was relatively sure that reporting would hurt me and not him. I believed there was a 50/50 shot that the Intel chain knew and cast a blind eye - all the way up to BDE Commander. I thought long and hard about my previous experience, then reported it.
I was blackballed (the warrants had a FAR reach, as did the S2) within the community, and spent the next 8 years working outside my MOS, meaning I was more or less removed from promotion eligibility, despite stellar NCOERs.
If I had it to do all over again, the only change I would have made is pursing my reports harder and elevating them after they were rationalized and "justified" (war crime) and swept under the rug (Intel crime).