What should you avoid doing when talking with a veteran in crisis?

2019-08-05T13:53:47-04:00

DON’T:
- Interrupt them to tell them about the time something similar happened to you; hear them out.
- Shame or guilt-trip the veteran; they may already be feeling a lot of shame and guilt.
- Say that suicide is “cowardly” or “selfish”.
- Make assumptions.
- Try to fix them.
- Fail to pay attention to the “coded language” of suicide.
- Go it alone: provide support and help them find the appropriate resources ( STRIVE2Be.org )
- Don’t wait to hear the word suicide, by then it might be too late.

Learn more about the National Center for Veterans Studies and the (non-medication) treatment for military personnel, veterans, and family members at no-cost for the following conditions: PTSD, suicidal thoughts, insomnia and nightmares, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Aug 5 at 2019 1:55 PM

2019-08-05T13:55:02-04:00

Do much more listening than talking.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Aug 5 at 2019 2:03 PM

2019-08-05T14:03:12-04:00

Excellent share, thank you.

Response by PO2 John Zodun made Aug 6 at 2019 1:41 AM

2019-08-06T01:41:49-04:00

Don’t tell them you know how they feel because it happened to you BUT do listen offer them compassion and help them find the right direction to take

Response by PO2 John Zodun made Aug 8 at 2019 1:58 AM

2019-08-08T01:58:56-04:00

Thanks Sgt Susan Meier for your vote

Response by Capt Ebony May made Aug 8 at 2019 6:50 PM

2019-08-08T18:50:31-04:00

That first one is really a important and vital point when listening to anyone!!! Its an art. But respecting the other persons story is the goal. Tis doesnt take away from the ability to connect by sharing experiences but remember they beed thier moment.

Response by SSG Eric Blue made Aug 8 at 2019 10:29 PM

2019-08-08T22:29:35-04:00

Well put.

Response by COL Dana Hampton made Aug 10 at 2019 4:09 PM

2019-08-10T16:09:22-04:00

Excellent advice. Thanks for posting!

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Aug 13 at 2019 1:13 PM

2019-08-13T13:13:44-04:00

https://veterans.utah.edu/

National Center for Veterans Studies

R&R State-of-the-art psychological treatment for military personnel, veterans, and family members struggling with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and suicidal thoughts. Read More & Participation Form CRP WORKSHOPS In-depth training for licensed mental health professionals who work with service members and veterans to use the crisis response plan, a scientifically-supported method for suicide prevention among military…

Response by PVT Mark Zehner made Aug 13 at 2019 6:57 PM

2019-08-13T18:57:48-04:00

Don't let it become a pissing contest! I became a cop and noticed that there always seems to be a contest of who had been through the worst!

Response by PO1 Mike Wallace made Aug 13 at 2019 8:48 PM

2019-08-13T20:48:02-04:00

If they ask the conversation to be totally confidential make sure you abide by the agreement unless you feel there is a concern for suicide or violence.

Response by SSgt Richard Kensinger made Aug 18 at 2019 3:05 PM

2019-08-18T15:05:39-04:00

This is spot-on advice. I've been perusing the Utah program and have some reservations about some of it's proclaimed outcomes. This is based on my 40+ years as a clinical psychologist. The promotional material strikes more as "hype-hustle" and the persons depicted in their promotional material look like actors to me. I've actually contacted them via email, and shared these observations. They have yet to respond.
So, please proceed w/ caution before committing to their service package.
Rich

Response by PO3 Bonita Skiba made Aug 22 at 2019 2:49 PM

2019-08-22T14:49:47-04:00

You CAN'T know how THEY feel. If you had a similar experience, you know only how YOU felt. Not the best idea of a response to their problems.

Response by SPC Michael Lewis made Aug 22 at 2019 7:00 PM

2019-08-22T19:00:54-04:00

Never, ever try to one up them and say it doesn't bother you.

Response by PO2 Ronald Willis made Sep 8 at 2019 1:02 PM

2019-09-08T13:02:00-04:00

If you say;"Let me know if there's anything I can do," be prepared to to do something right now, not when its more convenient for you.

Response by CPT Ronald Scherick made Sep 8 at 2019 7:29 PM

2019-09-08T19:29:39-04:00

This is a very critical topic. while you might want to get the individual help you must be very sure they are in such a state that they are considering harm to themselves. If under good intentions you report them to authorities and you are wrong it could trigger the new red flag laws that are spreading thanks to the anti second amendment crowd.
If the person telling you the story is a firearm owner this might cause serious problems with his or her right to the privileges of the second amendment. That has to be balanced against the risk that this person might act on the emotions that are causing the distress.

Response by PO2 Michael Martin made Sep 8 at 2019 8:59 PM

2019-09-08T20:59:59-04:00

Everything in this "DON'T" is the truth. I'm glad someone had enough sense to put this out. As we know, most Vets don't know how to ask for help. It's not stupid, it's just that people who went thought a period of great danger don't know how to ask for help. It's not what we as soldiers and sailors are taught to do. We are told to suck it up soldier or anyone in uniform, that's your job. Well Im here to tell you If you haven't been in the situation, you have no right to say a word to these brave men and women. Remember the old saying, "Walk a mile in my Shoes" and live to tell about it.

Thanks for posting the DON'T mail.

Response by SN Joel Penhallegon made Sep 9 at 2019 6:19 PM

2019-09-09T18:19:35-04:00

Let him/her talk. Never try to respond. Be that listening ear, even if details get boring.
Someone needs time for venting on any number of things.

Response by SGT Jim Giffin made Sep 13 at 2019 11:10 AM

2019-09-13T11:10:59-04:00

God gave us two ears and one mouth. Do twice as much listening as you do talking.