What Things Were Difficult to Communicate to Family and Friends About Your Military Service? Login & Share to Win!

2021-09-07T09:38:19-04:00

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Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Sep 7 at 2021 9:48 AM

2021-09-07T09:48:29-04:00

Mainly about the type of training that I was going through, and why I had to do it RallyPoint News .

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Sep 7 at 2021 10:00 AM

2021-09-07T10:00:04-04:00

Thanks for sharing

Response by A1C Michelle Pagan made Sep 7 at 2021 11:11 AM

2021-09-07T11:11:05-04:00

Almost everything.

Response by Cpl Vic Burk made Sep 7 at 2021 2:14 PM

2021-09-07T14:14:13-04:00

There are a lot of things that I never shared with my wife. She is already pissed off enough with the health issues I am having from the military as it is.

Response by CPO James Soper made Sep 7 at 2021 5:41 PM

2021-09-07T17:41:54-04:00

The inability to tell them where we were deploying and when we would be able to be in touch again.

Response by SSG Steven Gotz made Sep 7 at 2021 5:43 PM

2021-09-07T17:43:04-04:00

The camaraderie. The feeling of belonging. The feeling that comes with serving your country. These are seldom completely understood by friends and family unless they served.

Response by SGT Tim Tobin made Sep 7 at 2021 5:43 PM

2021-09-07T17:43:13-04:00

actually nothing, my family were medical and my daughter is a nurse so they like any stories I have

Response by PV2 Keith Young made Sep 7 at 2021 5:43 PM

2021-09-07T17:43:56-04:00

When I was sexuallay assaulted in BCT. With me being from a military family and my dad a career officer, it was extremely difficult

Response by SGT Marc Grote made Sep 7 at 2021 5:44 PM

2021-09-07T17:44:28-04:00

Mandatory training, why I had to go in on my off days for things like recall formations just to name a couple.

Response by PO1 Derrick Denessen made Sep 7 at 2021 5:44 PM

2021-09-07T17:44:53-04:00

How difficult it was being away from my young children for so many years, and how difficult it makes life now that I'm home. Still feel like a stranger, and my children still don't know me.
Trying to raise my own children, coming home after 6 months or more, I never really felt like their father no matter how hard I tried.
"You were never there for us!". To relate to them how it was just not possible, and I was making a life for them without being there, just isn't possible sometimes.

Response by SGT Leonard Frank made Sep 7 at 2021 5:46 PM

2021-09-07T17:46:01-04:00

I have to say the closeness the comaradere. It is funny how you can share sometime together and move on but still remember the times good and bad we all had together. Wife just doesnt get it.
And the power of the military, just think seeing rows and rows of tanks, or watching war planes taking off. just amazing. And a side note the taliban just dont get it. they thought because we got safe passage we should have left all that good equipment in good shape WTHeck,? I am sure they planned on paying for it ...

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 5:46 PM

2021-09-07T17:46:48-04:00

The Brotherhood you develop in the military!

Response by SPC George Allen made Sep 7 at 2021 5:47 PM

2021-09-07T17:47:46-04:00

My family and civilian friends could never understand why I spent so much time in the field and on alert.

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 7 at 2021 5:48 PM

2021-09-07T17:48:32-04:00

The joy of doing a big job with a bunch of folks. You know, getting together with a purpose and accomplishing a goal? Man, I missed that on the outside.

Response by PFC William Mower made Sep 7 at 2021 5:50 PM

2021-09-07T17:50:21-04:00

The things I saw and did while TDY to Honduras

Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Sep 7 at 2021 5:50 PM

2021-09-07T17:50:22-04:00

I think for any of us from the Vietnam era it was why we chose to stay in and make a career of the military. Unlike today, the military wasn't exactly considered an honorable profession in the 60s and 70s.

Response by Cpl Tyler Therrien made Sep 7 at 2021 5:50 PM

2021-09-07T17:50:35-04:00

One thing that most in civilian world have no clue what we give up and the "extra" set of laws we live under (UCMJ) I did get some great feedback about having their eyes opened from those who read my book On Amazon Kindle or paperback

Response by SGT Michael Jordan made Sep 7 at 2021 5:50 PM

2021-09-07T17:50:54-04:00

How hard it was to be away from home, especially during the holidays.

Response by AA Karen Dietrich made Sep 7 at 2021 5:51 PM

2021-09-07T17:51:31-04:00

That in the ‘90’s sexual assault was a thing and many times went unreported for fear of retaliation.

Response by PFC William Mower made Sep 7 at 2021 5:51 PM

2021-09-07T17:51:59-04:00

The thing I saw and did While TDY to Honduras in 1981

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 5:53 PM

2021-09-07T17:53:50-04:00

Military speak, like the fact that being a Photographer's Mate did NOT mean that I was a photographer's "helper", but that I was actually the photographer. It's a Navy thing.

Response by MCPO Hilary Kunz made Sep 7 at 2021 5:53 PM

2021-09-07T17:53:58-04:00

When I came back from overseas, I had no filter, just like before I went. I didn’t realize how horrible my stories were back on the farm. After my first night on the job I quickly became inured by the immersion in the horror so I didn’t get it until people started to leave.

Response by SGT Dennis Bolin made Sep 7 at 2021 5:55 PM

2021-09-07T17:55:06-04:00

when I was asked, how was CCF training?

Response by MSgt George Murray made Sep 7 at 2021 5:56 PM

2021-09-07T17:56:58-04:00

I was in Guam and on my way to Vietnam when I sent a letter home to my mom and told her I would be out of communication for a while. She asked why and I told her I was on a special mission. (Which I was). I wanted to tell her where I was going but decided to back off because my dad died 4 years prior and didn't know how she would handle it. I was either 21 or 22 at the time. It was tough.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Sep 7 at 2021 5:57 PM

2021-09-07T17:57:15-04:00

In the beginning I held things close to the vest, deployment success and failures. After 10 years an while I found open communication to be more effective in establishing connections with those who matter.

Response by SGT Lisa Mayne made Sep 7 at 2021 5:59 PM

2021-09-07T17:59:27-04:00

Why I changed so much so fast was super hard to share.

Response by TSgt George Austin made Sep 7 at 2021 6:00 PM

2021-09-07T18:00:23-04:00

How to explain the utter boredom and in an instant the sheer terror then the day long coming down off adrenaline.

Response by SGM Tim Kinsella made Sep 7 at 2021 6:00 PM

2021-09-07T18:00:48-04:00

Relating the camaraderie to a non military person and family. Still not able to relate 100% with non military people.

Response by SPC Mary Vaughan made Sep 7 at 2021 6:08 PM

2021-09-07T18:08:17-04:00

I have to say camaraderie. Everywhere I was stationed instilled a strong sense of community.

Response by SSG Byron Hewett made Sep 7 at 2021 6:11 PM

2021-09-07T18:11:30-04:00

I came from a military family so there was no real difficulty

Response by SGT Lance LeBerte made Sep 7 at 2021 6:12 PM

2021-09-07T18:12:10-04:00

endless waiting, no one ever seemed to understand how I could wait for so long

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 6:12 PM

2021-09-07T18:12:55-04:00

It was most difficult to communicate the death that surround me in Vietnam. Unless you were physically there it is hard to explain.

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 7 at 2021 6:15 PM

2021-09-07T18:15:55-04:00

Thanks for all the upvotes, my brothers and sisters!

Response by SSG Scott Kelley made Sep 7 at 2021 6:20 PM

2021-09-07T18:20:02-04:00

It was difficult to convey how exciting military life was, especially compared to civilian life which I have felt is quite boring in comparison.

Response by SP5 Michael Barczykowski made Sep 7 at 2021 6:20 PM

2021-09-07T18:20:48-04:00

My true feelings in my letters while in Vietnam. Went over with high expectations on the good we were doing and left totally disenfranchised mainly due to the support of the people back home.

Response by CPL Larry Monkus made Sep 7 at 2021 6:21 PM

2021-09-07T18:21:23-04:00

why i couldnt stay in touch during basic and why i didnt want to make mom a nervous wreck after my orders for vietnam came thru and why i didnt stay in touch in vietnam

Response by 1SG James Long made Sep 7 at 2021 6:24 PM

2021-09-07T18:24:59-04:00

The bonds that are built and friendships you have with fellow servicemembers even those you don't personally know. I believe that interactions between service members or veterans help them to understand.

Response by CPT William Pearson made Sep 7 at 2021 6:26 PM

2021-09-07T18:26:06-04:00

For me it was difficult to explain my hyperactivity especially at night, and the Fourth of July. I came home two weeks Feb. 1970, on burial detail, then back to Pleiku. Relatives were looking at my camouflaged fatigues like I was a freak. I was already deaf from shooting too much. Difficult time for non-military folks understanding SOPs.

Response by SGM Tim Kinsella made Sep 7 at 2021 6:28 PM

2021-09-07T18:28:40-04:00

One of the most difficult things to explain to family and friends was walking a guard post in subzero weather and 6 inches of snow at 3am in Korea just after Kennedy was assassinated and feeling that I was a part of the solution, not the problem.

Response by SGT Glenn E Moody made Sep 7 at 2021 6:29 PM

2021-09-07T18:29:23-04:00

why it pisses me off when the younger people say I cant without even trying. even if I can't do something ill still try to do it. and if I still can't do it ill find someone to show me how or find A book that shows me step by step how.

Response by SSG Rick Moncher made Sep 7 at 2021 6:30 PM

2021-09-07T18:30:37-04:00

What truly was going on and how u were feeling at the time.

Response by Capt Al Parker made Sep 7 at 2021 6:32 PM

2021-09-07T18:32:20-04:00

I’ll go where they want me and do as I am ordered.

Response by SPC(P) Donald B. made Sep 7 at 2021 6:33 PM

2021-09-07T18:33:26-04:00

How WET the part of Iraq we were running convoy security patrols out of was!

Response by CPO Kenneth Arbogast made Sep 7 at 2021 6:34 PM

2021-09-07T18:34:50-04:00

My family never understood what I did. In the military, we do what we are asked (or told). And duties change with rate and rank. I did everything from painting a vessel to writing Congressional correspondence.

Response by CPL Chris Palmberg made Sep 7 at 2021 6:36 PM

2021-09-07T18:36:27-04:00

The suck, and how to embrace it...
Even my parents, both of whom are veterans, can't grasp the nature of service at the "tip of the spear."

Response by CW3 Joseph Lawrence made Sep 7 at 2021 6:37 PM

2021-09-07T18:37:47-04:00

There were no problems communicating to my parents as they had gone through the depression and the Second World War, but the biggest problem occurred after i was married with children. It was difficult to explain to my wife and children that the position that I held was not a 9 to 5 job and that there were times when spending extra hours were necessary and there were also times when the job required you to be there instead of at a family function. Working on weekends and sometimes 10 or 12 days in a row, and then deploying somewhere or traveling to various places for conferences and exercises could have easily been a marriage breaker. Eventually my family began to understand how important my job was and that we were defending a nation. Some people will never understand the responsibilities of a serviceman or woman or what each and everyone of them do on a daily basis that makes this country what it is today, The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.

Response by SPC Lyle Montgomery made Sep 7 at 2021 6:38 PM

2021-09-07T18:38:11-04:00

The bad parts of serving as a grunt in Viet Nam. I came home in 1970. People in Seatle and Denver treated us like shit. I live near Omaha NE,and people were much nicer and more tolerant. I would share experiences with other combat vets, one my best friend. I didn't talk much to anyone who is not a vet even my wife til years later. Some people treated us like nut cases, baby killers and time bombs ready to go off at any time. I survived OK, have been married for 49 years to the same woman, and haven't had a runaway yet.but still don't talk about some things to any one

Response by MSgt David Guenther made Sep 7 at 2021 6:38 PM

2021-09-07T18:38:17-04:00

They can never understand when I say I never had a job until after I left the service. I did what needed to be done as part of a team and even under the worst situations it was better than being on the outside. That, and how I felt closer to a comrade that I didn't like, than most close friends in the civvy world.

Response by CPT David Gowel made Sep 7 at 2021 6:38 PM

2021-09-07T18:38:58-04:00

Why an Army Captain has WAY less rank than a Navy Captain.

Response by SSG Ronald Wallenberg made Sep 7 at 2021 6:39 PM

2021-09-07T18:39:02-04:00

Nothing! I am third generation Army. I enlisted when many cowards ran the other way. I knew it was my path and my honor to serve.

Also to overly share, as a kid, maybe 11, in church I began to read the church service print out when I can upon this bible passage, and I shit you not, the lights went on in my brain and I knew this was one aspect of my purpose in this life.

Psalms 82 verses 3 and 4
Defend weak people and orphans
Protect the rights of the oppressed and the poor.

Rescue weak and need people. Help them escape the power of wicked people.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 6:39 PM

2021-09-07T18:39:43-04:00

The isolation and the boredom!!

Response by SGM Willie Sanderson made Sep 7 at 2021 6:39 PM

2021-09-07T18:39:47-04:00

It was very difficult for me to explain the need for deployments or unaccompanied tours. I tried to explain by speaking with them about the loneliness I felt during my absences. I failed to ask my spouse and children how they felt. With that said, it really made it sound like it was all about me and they did not matter. Took me too long to understand that they were a great part of my career and just like me soldiers without them and their support I was lost and without a happy life as a career soldier and as a husband and father.

Response by A1C William Bennett made Sep 7 at 2021 6:43 PM

2021-09-07T18:43:45-04:00

Sgt. William F. Bennett, U.S.A.F.
....The bond you form with others in your unit, especially when you are in combat, that's very hard to communicate with people who haven't been where you have.

Response by AA Loreen Silvarahawk made Sep 7 at 2021 6:48 PM

2021-09-07T18:48:42-04:00

I was in the Navy during the mid-60's when sexual harassment was something never discussed in or out of the service.

Response by PO2 Jimmie Shelnutt made Sep 7 at 2021 6:49 PM

2021-09-07T18:49:41-04:00

That the military life is not simple or routine. There are a plethora of emotions that are unique to our calling. The sense that your life is in the hands of another and you yourself are the caretaker of others lives is rarely found outside our service. I was just a corpsman, no hero, frightened too often. But I walked with heroes, real heroes.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 6:53 PM

2021-09-07T18:53:32-04:00

Most of it. Hard to connect with someone who hasn't served.
People always ask the wring questions. Meaning the ones I don't want to talk about.

Response by Sgt Ivan Boatwright made Sep 7 at 2021 6:53 PM

2021-09-07T18:53:34-04:00

The truth

Response by GySgt Edward Reagle made Sep 7 at 2021 6:57 PM

2021-09-07T18:57:07-04:00

Serving my family as well as a entire country honorably is not something everybody understands even if you don't go in harms way the what if is still there when you volunteer to serve. Most everybody I know have close friends but not as close as my brothers and sisters that I served with in the USMC. Camaraderie is more then a friend a close bond that we all had. In some cases more then not we had to rely on each other to survive.

Response by SPC Michael Duricko, Ph.D made Sep 7 at 2021 6:59 PM

2021-09-07T18:59:47-04:00

Killing!

Response by Sgt Steven Boone made Sep 7 at 2021 7:01 PM

2021-09-07T19:01:53-04:00

The truth about what your actual job consisted of. Some pages are better off not turned, and the true brotherhood does exist, as far as you reach out!

Response by CPL Ryan Thibault made Sep 7 at 2021 7:02 PM

2021-09-07T19:02:18-04:00

For me, the most difficult things to discuss with my family were primarily about my combat deployments.
I served in the Army as an Infantry Combat Medic and deployed to Afghanistan twice. My first deployment was very combat/intelligence gathering driven and we spent a lot of time boots on ground in some of the worst places in RC South. My last deployment was very different for me which made it all the more difficult to explain to my family because it was more centered on enabling and showing the Afghan Soldiers how to fight, communicate, and operate as a successful power after all of the allied forces had completely left. Obviously, several things stood in my way of doing my job to the best of my ability; Trying to train someone that does not speak your language, understand our social cues, or have an education to help better understand what I was doing/saying made my time more exhausting than I imagined. I had missions that were my main focus to being there yet, I also had the mission of training my counterparts to pick up the slack when I left. I truly didn’t feel I was accomplishing this or that things would get better where I was. Now, years later and after the complete removal of allied forces from that portion of the world the people there are still riddled with terrorist killings, actions and demands. I know I did the best I could but, explaining this feeling to my family is something I choose not to do simply because it will cause more suffering/anxiety for them and me than I am willing to give. They love me, support me and are ready for me to tell them everything that happened but, I won’t tell them because I love them. Nobody needs that kind of sad and empty story from me. Thankfully, they have given up with prying me for information and it had become something we just don’t talk about.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2021 7:11 PM

2021-09-07T19:11:03-04:00

the older generation, WW II vets, and Korean War vets, when told about me having PTSD, were quick to say, "WTF is that? You aren't missing a leg, arm, eye, etc. Suck it up buttercup." I couldn't talk to them about what I felt nor what happened, without feeling kind of ostracized, looked down at, or 'bested'.. "you shoulda been there at D Day ya little pussy..." stuff like that, for that generation, they, to me, never got it...

Response by SSgt Kathleen Fleitz made Sep 7 at 2021 7:20 PM

2021-09-07T19:20:20-04:00

Civilians seemed to think we were rolling in money. Didn't pay for rent, food, or even make payments on our credit cards. Sure, single airmen lived in the barracks and ate in the chow hall, but those of us who were married had to pay bills. Back then, a single WAF could not draw quarters allowance, and her spouse (if on active duty) could only get the singles rate. It wasn't until I got out in 1974 that they changed the rule. I kept all rent receipts, and got back pay. Don't know how it is now.

My dad died suddenly when I was 19 and stationed in Germany. I was an E-2. Then I made E-3 and got married. My mom needed financial help and couldn't understand why I couldn't send much money back to her.

Response by CPO Eugene Gillam made Sep 7 at 2021 7:26 PM

2021-09-07T19:26:02-04:00

Very little except maybe my liberty nights overseas!

Response by Sgt David Branham made Sep 7 at 2021 7:28 PM

2021-09-07T19:28:23-04:00

Death of a roommate by his own hand

Response by CMSgt Caryn Chipman made Sep 7 at 2021 7:32 PM

2021-09-07T19:32:04-04:00

That I was leaving again but couldn’t tell them where I was going or how long I’d be gone.

Response by A1C Paula Roblez made Sep 7 at 2021 7:42 PM

2021-09-07T19:42:46-04:00

The fact that my military friends were family also. Also in my case. I had a mostly male ( back in my day) job so almost all my friends were male I was just one of the guys. Lol

Response by SPC Allen Werth made Sep 7 at 2021 7:42 PM

2021-09-07T19:42:50-04:00

That while in the service you take orders. You do not ask for them to explain why that think something is best to do. That unless the order is clearly illegal and will do great harm you comply. You do not consider if it is nice, or politely correct. No one askes if what you think about the plan or if you know a better way. You are in the service and you take orders.

Response by SSG Leo Mcardle made Sep 7 at 2021 7:47 PM

2021-09-07T19:47:57-04:00

I had no problems. My dad was a Navy combat Veteran in WWII. My mom was very well educated about the military life and what went on.

Response by TSgt Timothy Backstrom made Sep 7 at 2021 7:48 PM

2021-09-07T19:48:03-04:00

Telling my family what I did, which was highly classified in strategic reconnaissance.

Response by SGT James Wilson made Sep 7 at 2021 7:54 PM

2021-09-07T19:54:33-04:00

As an infantryman in a combat area, there is no such thing as "an 8 to 5 job", it is a 24 hour 7 days a week job. And you don't get weekends and holidays off because all days are the same.

Response by SFC W. Stewart made Sep 7 at 2021 7:55 PM

2021-09-07T19:55:37-04:00

Gee, there are so many.
We could start with the hyper vigilance of constantly scanning your surroundings. The questions of what you've seen/done in your deployments. Have you killed/how many always seems to pop up with the un educated. Mostly for me it was "The Team" camaraderie that you never seem to be understood.

Response by PO1 Gary Bell made Sep 7 at 2021 7:58 PM

2021-09-07T19:58:00-04:00

"Why can't you "blow off" work today?" Duty.

Response by SGT Erick Holmes made Sep 7 at 2021 8:01 PM

2021-09-07T20:01:22-04:00

Camaraderie, the beyond of inside jokes, the jokes itself, speaking in code, the look, the hand signals. The definition of what friends and family are. Your other brothers and sisters and most importantly (to me) " To be early is to be on time to be on time is to be late." only military people get that

Response by SGT Trish Woodbury made Sep 7 at 2021 8:10 PM

2021-09-07T20:10:16-04:00

It's like being on a huge sports team except instead of competing with other teams the real competition was with besting yourself.

Response by Ellen Limbach made Sep 7 at 2021 8:11 PM

2021-09-07T20:11:26-04:00

Family and Friends that did not serve don't know what you went through , especially what we went through in Vietnam.

Response by PFC David Foster made Sep 7 at 2021 8:17 PM

2021-09-07T20:17:43-04:00

I didn't have a hard time communicating anything about the military to my family as I am from a long running military family. My pop and many uncles were in WWI and got all kinds of medals, and my grandfathers were in WWII, both got a purple heart and one also received a citation of valor. It was all second nature by the time I got there lol...

Response by Lt Col Warren Domke made Sep 7 at 2021 8:22 PM

2021-09-07T20:22:05-04:00

My first service was enlistment in the New Mexico Air National Guard in January 1960. Most of my family saw military service as being like World War II. The National Guard concept was also not easily understood. I had one three year ANG enlistment and then had to drop ready reserve status to go on contract with the Air Force ROTC. Many relatives and friends thought somehow I was in the Army, even after I was commissioned. In fact many of my commanders and senior NCOs were veterans of the Army Air Forces or other services. The idea of a modern separate Air Force was not easily grasped by many older family members. Today I wonder how the friends and family members of officers and enlisted members of the Space Force will envision that service. How long will it take for the Space Force to become accepted as a military branch? Today's Air Force is almost 74 years old and is pretty well established as a branch. The rather peculiar relationship between Air Force and Space Force will also take some adjustment. Glad I don't have to go through that one!

Response by CPL Terry Perry made Sep 7 at 2021 8:27 PM

2021-09-07T20:27:52-04:00

Learning how to interact with different ideas

Response by PFC Stephen Eric Serati made Sep 7 at 2021 8:30 PM

2021-09-07T20:30:05-04:00

Individual experiences. It's easier to talk with other Veterans.

Response by SSG Jerry Mason made Sep 7 at 2021 8:35 PM

2021-09-07T20:35:54-04:00

The long hours and weekends that you worked on short notice. And the dreaded 24 hour CQ weekend duty.

Response by Sgt Frank Hupp, DTM made Sep 7 at 2021 8:55 PM

2021-09-07T20:55:37-04:00

When I enlisted in the Air Force I told everyone that I wanted to make it a career and I wanted to serve for 30-years. I was at 26 months into my first enlistment when a fork lift flipped over on me and I lost my right leg and had a severly injured lower back. I was demoralized. I have very good care at the Elmendiorf /Fort Richardson hospital. I was then transfered to Wilford Hall Hospital at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas. Seven months after my accident I was honorably retired from the Air Force. I was lost. I did not know what to do. I did not get so much as one (1) minitue of greif or career counseling. I was just told to go to the VA. That was over 50 years ago. They were only somewhat helpful. They did make sure that my broken body was recovering, but they did not address my broken and lost spirit. That cost me dearly in many ways. I became an alcoholic and stayed there for several years. I have now been clean and sober for over 35-years. After many years of trials and errors (big errors) I finally got back to my religious roots. My Bible and the different chruchs that I have attended have mostly healed me. I still suffer from PTSD. Most every day is better than the day before. I guess that is called growth. Sgt. Frank E. Hupp, Retired, DTM

Response by CPT Larry Hudson made Sep 7 at 2021 9:02 PM

2021-09-07T21:02:00-04:00

Vietnam - family never asked questions, wife knew something was different, loss of 26 aviators during 69-70, being a AC and Operations officer. Being a OCS Tactical Instructor and breaking down the candidates in artificial environments to see if they could take the pressure before being in combat.
My life changed when I married and my children could not understand why I never got mad. If only they knew what I did in service as an officer in OCS. I have told them, you don't know what I was before I was
married.
Also, in Washington DC when riots and anti war demonstrations at their worse. Unit put on alert to go to pentagon and support security there. Martin King killed, rioting and burning down town on 14th street DC.
difficult to explain circumstances that caused riots, burning of businesses.

Response by SSG Jack Lewis made Sep 7 at 2021 9:21 PM

2021-09-07T21:21:59-04:00

Why sometimes you just do what you're told, and sort the bullshit out later.

Response by SFC Kevin Strakal made Sep 7 at 2021 9:33 PM

2021-09-07T21:33:49-04:00

There were many thing that my family didn't know. Of course like anyone they learned a lot from movies which didn't contain any real truths. So just the day to day operations, doing PT, getting to work call, formations and the list goes on. My family came to know the military lifestyle but didn't really learn the "lingo" or comments made while in service. Hooah or HUA (heard, understood, acknowledged) wasn't well known in my family but they got it eventually. Kind of funny on a side note, growing up in Montana, you never heard "y'all" but I came to use that a lot. My family gave me a real hard time about that one! haha. I think though all in all, the closeness between brothers, being in combat and not truly understanding what combat does and how it changes people, I could tell they couldn't relate at all. My family didn't have military experience except for my dad. We could relate on that level, but he was the only one. We didn't talk about that too much.

Response by SSG Lew Wilson made Sep 7 at 2021 9:35 PM

2021-09-07T21:35:17-04:00

the sense of duty and following orders

Response by PO3 Edward Riddle made Sep 7 at 2021 10:00 PM

2021-09-07T22:00:08-04:00

One of the questions I was uncomfortable with was "Did you kill anybody or How many people did you kill?".

Response by SPC Bill Bailey made Sep 7 at 2021 10:03 PM

2021-09-07T22:03:44-04:00

The difficulty in writing home as often as they would have liked due to training cycles in Germany in the late 1960s. We spent 8 - 9 months out of the year out in the field training and tank gunnery, letters home were last on my list of things to do, maint., sleep and chow ranked way above that.

Response by SGT Mike Fischer made Sep 7 at 2021 10:33 PM

2021-09-07T22:33:44-04:00

The killing of people I did not know

Response by SGT James Bradley made Sep 7 at 2021 10:43 PM

2021-09-07T22:43:35-04:00

I have a moral injury from which I will never recover until GOD calls me home. Can you EVER understand that!!!!

Response by Bob Goodworth made Sep 7 at 2021 11:30 PM

2021-09-07T23:30:33-04:00

Our jargon usually leaves them gobsmacked, also the camaraderie, mateship usually not understood by non service people

Response by SP5 Skip Saurman made Sep 7 at 2021 11:37 PM

2021-09-07T23:37:05-04:00

Well, as I was in the Army Security Agency (with a Top Secret Crypto Security Clearance) I was forbidden to tell my family and friends just about anything related to our mission. Even ten years out when my security clearance was downgraded to just a Secret Clearance, I was still required to limit details significantly. This lead one of my uncles to speculate that I must have been a secret spy! Now, after 50 years out, I can finally say whatever I want to whomever I want. The problem is . . . now I just can't remember anything!!! ;-)

Response by James Rush made Sep 7 at 2021 11:48 PM

2021-09-07T23:48:56-04:00

Nothing

Response by PFC Jennifer Hendricks made Sep 7 at 2021 11:57 PM

2021-09-07T23:57:26-04:00

Basic training. No matter how I explained it, no one really understood how grueling it was. Even friends and family who joined after I got home told me they didn’t understand what I told them until they went through it themselves.
But what was the hardest to explain was how much I loved my country after serving. And how much the flag meant to me. Today’s lack of respect for our country by not only kids, but celebrities and athletes breaks my heart in a way no civilian can understand.

Response by CW2 Richard Athey made Sep 7 at 2021 11:59 PM

2021-09-07T23:59:53-04:00

The pride in serving, they friends you make for life. Must have gotten thru to my oldest son, he's a Blackhawk mechanic. He also understands what hurry up and wait means.

Response by CDR Bob Lange made Sep 8 at 2021 12:15 AM

2021-09-08T00:15:49-04:00

On the job training. How do you explain to anyone the process of learning complex skills in a very short time, then being expected, and trusted, to perform them on your own.

Response by 1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel made Sep 8 at 2021 12:41 AM

2021-09-08T00:41:13-04:00

I was as surprised as anyone when I was assigned to work at the Base Hospital Emergency Room and Ambulance Service. Being “military” definitely took a back seat to providing excellent patient care. Most folks I talked to were astounded that I was given the autonomy I had in treating patients, and my work was limited only by what the docs would allow. As I developed confidence it was “watch one, do one, teach one” and I loved it. If they would have left me alone I would have stayed 20 years, most likely would have gone to medical school and served as a physician. Too bad that after Vietnam ended the “peacetime military” went into effect and guys with more stripes than brains tried to impose their regimen to make us more military and “teach guys like me a lesson”. So, they took me off my night shift supervisor role and assigned me chicken-shit tasks just because they could. I couldn’t wait to be discharged….as I am typing this, I realize how profound the post-Vietnam military changed for me and how bitter I grew towards the Air Force. That trauma took me years to get over, but when I was recruited to an XO slot in a new ReserveMedical Center Detachment at my previous base. I used those years going out of my way to be kind to everyone I encountered and established an affirming environment to serve together and lead by example. It was very gratifying.

Response by BG Mike Bridges made Sep 8 at 2021 3:17 AM

2021-09-08T03:17:39-04:00

that we aren't civilians and will work until the mission is complete.

Response by PO3 Michael Chamness made Sep 8 at 2021 5:55 AM

2021-09-08T05:55:30-04:00

what life on a submarine was relly like, and why there was things I went though on some of my deployments that I can't talk about.

Response by SFC Robert Falco made Sep 8 at 2021 6:07 AM

2021-09-08T06:07:33-04:00

After being in countries where finding food, water and safe shelter are major daily concerns for people; you tend to not get upset about some of the little luxury things that break or go wrong.

Response by SGT John Goschka made Sep 8 at 2021 6:13 AM

2021-09-08T06:13:04-04:00

I was in the 1st Cav in Vietnam as an infantry soldier so I don't share the experience with them.

Response by Maj Martin Smith made Sep 8 at 2021 7:52 AM

2021-09-08T07:52:35-04:00

Sometimes not being allowed to tell them exactly where you've been.

Response by SSG John M Jacobson Sr made Sep 8 at 2021 8:52 AM

2021-09-08T08:52:22-04:00

The military in general, I took care of my family as a man should and I love them with all my heart, but when I was told that I had to retire from the Army due to health issues, that destroyed me. i crawled into a bottle for three years and could not even talk to a civilian. It turned out at the time the Military was my life and I did not know how to explain this to my family. My beautiful daughter was the one that finally saw what I was going thru and said something to me that snapped me out of it. But I still miss the Military life.

Response by SCPO Theodore Denning made Sep 8 at 2021 9:31 AM

2021-09-08T09:31:51-04:00

That being in the Navy actually gave me a purpose in life and that purpose was to serve my country as needed. That the friends and colleagues that came into my life as a sailor were and always would be my circle. That going to the base or ship every day was more than a job, it was my duty. That coming to a halt and saluting during morning and evening colors was an honor. It was then and still to this day was and is an honor. My family could not understand that friends from 40+ years ago are still my "brothers" and "sisters" and that I LOVE my flag and country.

Response by Cpl George Matousek made Sep 8 at 2021 10:17 AM

2021-09-08T10:17:47-04:00

How we, Marines, were treated in boot camp. Also exper. in Vietnam.

Response by SSG Michael Grant made Sep 8 at 2021 10:25 AM

2021-09-08T10:25:22-04:00

I had a hard time trying to explain my selfless duty to our nation,family and friends. I always understood that not all civilians or family have the ambition to serve and protect our country's constitution and way of life, liberty and justice. Some felt that I joined just to be able to go out and kill. Soldiers are trained to protect our country and each other. NEVER LEAVE A SOLDIER BEHIND OR OUR CITIZENS. we are sworn to defend our country against foreign domestic enemies. unfortunately we have more in congress trying to tear us apart than foreign enemies lately

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 11:17 AM

2021-09-08T11:17:21-04:00

Trying to explain why I have to check my house is secured multiple times at night before I can get in bed, why i sleep lightly, dont do well with surprises, and why i eat so fast...too name a few.

Response by MAJ Matthew Thomas made Sep 8 at 2021 11:28 AM

2021-09-08T11:28:47-04:00

The things experienced during times of war or conflict. Some family has no idea what experiences are like in a combat zone and even if there is an explanation, they still do not grasp the magnitude of what occurred.

Response by CPO Arthur Weinberger made Sep 8 at 2021 11:32 AM

2021-09-08T11:32:58-04:00

I had difficulty at times convincing my family that my job in the Navy comes first. If the Navy needs me 24/7 That should be my priority; and it was. I worked an average of 12 hours a day. America was
nice enough to let many of my relatives come here; therefore this writer should serve her!

Response by SSgt Thomas Korenek made Sep 8 at 2021 11:34 AM

2021-09-08T11:34:21-04:00

I communicated "nothing" regarding my duties, work environment, etc. to my family during and after my last assignment. Many years later my wife tried to get me to tell her about the activities, promising that she would tell no one. I explained that I held a Top Secret Clearance and that prior to my discharge I had signed "non-disclosure" documents. Needless to say, my reluctance did not go over too well.

Response by MCPO John Malone made Sep 8 at 2021 12:00 PM

2021-09-08T12:00:15-04:00

It was hard for them to understand (years ago) that I had to stay onboard ship every third day for duty. Didn't matter if it was a birthday, anniversary or get together, duty came first.

Response by SP5 John Burleson made Sep 8 at 2021 12:47 PM

2021-09-08T12:47:21-04:00

I was as "RA" in favor of kickig ass in Vietnam in a sea of "US's" who were not in favor of Vietnam. We argued a lot. It seemed to me that they were unpatriotic. I didn't consider their opposition was based on self-preservation and that was very stupid on my part.

Response by PVT Michele Bowman made Sep 8 at 2021 12:49 PM

2021-09-08T12:49:29-04:00

The closeness you came to have with your buddy and the gas chamber; Lord that gas chamber was a beast. The buddy helped to motivate you, keep you focused, keep you encouraged, pushing you to succeed. The gas chamber was really hard to conquer let alone explain. SMH hated that thing

Response by SGT Ronald Audas made Sep 8 at 2021 12:57 PM

2021-09-08T12:57:08-04:00

Fortunately,during the Vietnam war,very little was written about Korea.My family knew I was on the DMZ,but knew very little else.I'm sure,while explaining my experience ,some family and friends though I was exaggerating.

Response by Sgt David Scott made Sep 8 at 2021 1:22 PM

2021-09-08T13:22:56-04:00

What true Brothership is and why it is very prevalent in the Corps. The love that we have for our Flag and what it represents; including why we defend the treatment of the actual flag itself. Plus, stay off the GRASS! hehehe

Response by SGT Michael Brand made Sep 8 at 2021 2:19 PM

2021-09-08T14:19:35-04:00

On the negative side, how miserable Army basic training was. :-( On the positive side, the thrill, excitement, & adrenaline rush of jumping out of airplanes! :-)

Response by SSG Cheryl Maxwell made Sep 8 at 2021 3:14 PM

2021-09-08T15:14:13-04:00

Just about everything. Missing family was hard.

Response by SGT Burt Greenfield made Sep 8 at 2021 3:21 PM

2021-09-08T15:21:44-04:00

It was hard to tell my family what I did in Vet nam as I did not think they would believe me

Response by PO2 Phillip Scott made Sep 8 at 2021 3:25 PM

2021-09-08T15:25:27-04:00

The friends you made,the fear in combat,the loneliness when away from home ,only home 37 months in 8 yrs.

Response by PO2 Paul Dempsey made Sep 8 at 2021 3:25 PM

2021-09-08T15:25:31-04:00

why I stand by some shipmates who at times are/where shit heads. nightmares and Navy dreams

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 3:37 PM

2021-09-08T15:37:00-04:00

Sharing incredibly close quarters with others and not getting weirded out by invasions of privacy. The only other place I have seen this is in EMS, where we work and live basically in a box on wheels with people of varying degrees of hygiene. I don't think the average person can appreciate or understand.

Response by PO2 David Harlow made Sep 8 at 2021 3:38 PM

2021-09-08T15:38:26-04:00

It's actually kind of hard to answer this question when most of your family is also ex-military. They all know exactly what I did and what was going on. My friends in high school and whatnot had all moved on to college, so they were out of the loop anyway. On the plus side, social media platforms have made it far easier to reconnect with friends and family, and now we can discuss those things that were hard to explain years ago.

Response by SGT Jodi WittBailey made Sep 8 at 2021 3:41 PM

2021-09-08T15:41:14-04:00

I was surrounded by people yet I felt alone quite a bit. It was hard to plug in to any community during the majority of my time in servic. This led to me doing acitivities to fight the loneliness I would not have considered in an ordinary life. Not until i pcs'd to my final community near family did I ever feel a sense of belonging. And it took awhile to settle in.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Sep 8 at 2021 3:45 PM

2021-09-08T15:45:26-04:00

The horror of war was difficult to explain. Equally tough were when you were asked about things you did and could not talk about.

Our families can't understand the bond that exists between the veteran and his service buddies.

Response by PO2 Colleen O'Hara made Sep 8 at 2021 3:47 PM

2021-09-08T15:47:12-04:00

The sense that everyone i worked with, regardless of orientation, background, race, ethnicity, was family to me and I would have their six no matter what. My family was military so they understood, my friends, however, did not fully comprehend it.

Response by Sgt Christian Mendieta made Sep 8 at 2021 3:48 PM

2021-09-08T15:48:26-04:00

The love-hate relationship with everything that happened. Hating an event because of what it entailed but loving the comraderie and the stories that come out of it. Words don't it justice.

Response by SSG Dale London made Sep 8 at 2021 3:53 PM

2021-09-08T15:53:09-04:00

I had a very hard time communicating the ideas that made the difference between civilian me and military me to my friends from high school; things like devotion to your unit and to the country, or like the knowledge that there are circumstances where I personally might need to lay down my life or somebody close to me would do it for me.
It was especially hard to communicate to my wife -- who had zero experience with the military before meeting me -- why being late was such a huge taboo, or how -- in the middle of an argument over a critical matter -- I had to leave with the issue unresolved because I was on duty.
But the biggest toughie I had was trying to explain why after his wife got drunk and beat him up our next-door neighbor had to go to alcohol and drug abuse counselling when it was his wife who was an alcoholic.
Ahhh... welcome to army life.

Response by SPC Mark Maestas made Sep 8 at 2021 3:53 PM

2021-09-08T15:53:56-04:00

Witnessing not one but two suicides, one on the rifle range in basic training , and the second in Germany being the last person, a friend who I was joking with right before he became one of the 22. I also had a hard time speaking about seeing a fellow soldier being cut in half by two tanks. I learned that people in my family didn’t believe me or thought I was exaggerating.

Response by SPC Amanda Mitchell made Sep 8 at 2021 3:54 PM

2021-09-08T15:54:37-04:00

The friendships that are made and kept thru the years. Why we are trained they we were, and how it stays with us in life. Internal clock that wakes you up when it is light outside or at 4 or 5am no matter how much sleep you get. Observing the surroundings you are in.

Response by SP5 Donald Thornton made Sep 8 at 2021 3:59 PM

2021-09-08T15:59:18-04:00

the war I still want talk even to a shriek. fear they would not understand what had to be done.

Response by SGT Kelly Murphy made Sep 8 at 2021 3:59 PM

2021-09-08T15:59:24-04:00

I was overseas in Germany. We did not have smart phones and in order to talk to my family, I had to go to a phone booth with 5 mark coins to call home. Even though there were a lot of things to do and places to go and fun to be had, it was still a little lonely. None of my family had a clue that I was homesick and missing all my friends from School. With my family, any sign of emotion was weakness and was frowned upon. So, being somewhat lonely with no one to discuss it with was the one thing that they never understood.

Response by Cpl Anthony Starcevic made Sep 8 at 2021 4:01 PM

2021-09-08T16:01:33-04:00

Giving up my opportunity to box for the All Marine Corps Boxing Team....and to volunteer to go to Viet Nam to kill the bad guys!!

Response by MSgt Don Dobbs made Sep 8 at 2021 4:10 PM

2021-09-08T16:10:07-04:00

Civilians do not understand the brother and sisterhood of those who served. Even those civilians who are from or part of a military family. Belonging to a group of people who know the meaning of sacrifice, co-operation, and responsibility that goes far beyond anything a civilian will ever know. Teamwork and loyalty to one another that cannot be understood unless you've been there. Trusting your very life to one another says it all.

Response by MAJ Karl Swenson made Sep 8 at 2021 4:18 PM

2021-09-08T16:18:04-04:00

You know how it is when you tell a war story to someone who wasn't there? No one understands what it was like. Even two warriors, each from a different war, have trouble with understanding the differences. The same is true for family and friends. They don't understand the situation, the terrain, the outcome. They have the images they saw in war movies - whether it was John Wayne at Iwo Jima or Charlie Sheen in the jungles of Vietnam - what civilians know is what they saw on the screen. Maybe that's why we keep to ourselves... We lost the ability to talk to someone who knows EXACTLY what we went through.

Response by SP5 James Coles made Sep 8 at 2021 4:25 PM

2021-09-08T16:25:57-04:00

When you couldn’t tell family where you were or what you did while you were gone .

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 4:29 PM

2021-09-08T16:29:51-04:00

I'd say the camaraderie is probably the most difficult thing to explain to my non military family members.

Response by MSG Charles Kaiser made Sep 8 at 2021 4:33 PM

2021-09-08T16:33:08-04:00

The Brotherhood we have and the bond we share . The conditions we lived in a war zone.

Response by PVT Mark Whitcomb made Sep 8 at 2021 4:40 PM

2021-09-08T16:40:28-04:00

I come from a large family. 9 children. ( we were the small family in the hood ). I and my younger brother were the only ones to join the military family. He was a marine for 20+ years. I did my time in the army. My family could not understand how we could join institutions that may end up killing people. My brother was an Embassy guard in Kuwait when the embassy was blown up way back when. He survived. It was then that they realized why we did what we did. We grew up watching our hero's on the big screen. Patton, the battered bastards of Bastogne, John Wayne in so many movies as the hard corp marine. It is because we love our country that soldiers join. It took a long time for my siblings to understand. They get it now.

Response by PO2 Edward DeVennish made Sep 8 at 2021 4:55 PM

2021-09-08T16:55:45-04:00

The intensity of the comradeship on a submarine. I don’t mean friendship. I didn’t like all my shipmates. But I respected and TRUSTED every one of them. (Well, there were a couple who made it obvious they should have washed out in sub school, but they were transferred out after one patrol and watched carefully until they were gone.)

Response by SP5 Sam Powell made Sep 8 at 2021 4:59 PM

2021-09-08T16:59:34-04:00

Being under fire. What I saw sometimes, things that some did.

Response by PO1 Rick Serviss made Sep 8 at 2021 5:01 PM

2021-09-08T17:01:13-04:00

MY job description was hard to explain in non-military language.

Response by SSG Bill McCoy made Sep 8 at 2021 5:14 PM

2021-09-08T17:14:36-04:00

Vietnam, of course from the first day back to this very day, I can discuss it with my sons as they too are combat Vets. Beyond Nam, it's difficult for friends/family to appreciate the bonds with fellow Vets, especially those who I served with. We still talk and visit and are scheduled to have a reunion next month. The wife is supportive but doesn't understand how other Vets and I can still be friends after as much as fifty years.

Response by SGT Lisa Mayne made Sep 8 at 2021 5:15 PM

2021-09-08T17:15:47-04:00

The experience of telling my ultra racist Dad how much I loved ALL of my Army family. He honest to God thought there were separate barracks and even tried to make me come home.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 5:23 PM

2021-09-08T17:23:28-04:00

It was hard to explain that I didn't really feel like I was in danger while deployed, since I was on base the whole time. People just assume everyone who deploys is outside the wire facing direct fire and IEDs.

Response by SFC Terry Fortune made Sep 8 at 2021 5:27 PM

2021-09-08T17:27:32-04:00

There are many things that family and friends find difficult understand about my military service. Though I'm close to friends and family, they understand the bond that I have with other military members. They are all my Brother's and Sister's to me.

Response by CH (LTC) Jon Tidball made Sep 8 at 2021 5:30 PM

2021-09-08T17:30:03-04:00

One of the most difficult issues was telling them about my soldiers who were killed in action. I wanted them to know but didn't want them to worry about me.

Response by SGT Forrest Stewart made Sep 8 at 2021 5:35 PM

2021-09-08T17:35:24-04:00

I was single when I served in the early 80's. My Mom wrote to me every week. I was always sure to write back. While serving in Karlsruhe, Germany, my oldest brother was stationed in West Frankfurt. He never botherd to come see me, however, I drove to West Frankfurt in my POV to see him. How's that for a big brother. Since my Mom passed away, my time of trying to stay in contact with my brothers came to an end.

Response by PO2 Marco Monsalve made Sep 8 at 2021 5:37 PM

2021-09-08T17:37:38-04:00

It was difficult to explain the sense of belonging and the “tightness” with both the aircrews and the ground teams we supported. Coming home from RVN in 1970, in the midst of protests, made for difficult conversations around the fact that whether or not someone supported “the war” , you always supported the people who were there with you. Hard to explain if you were not there.

Response by SPC Martin Mahan made Sep 8 at 2021 6:14 PM

2021-09-08T18:14:56-04:00

The main difference I had compared to family and friends... and that I notice to this day: Civvies, when they have a project, tend to put it off until the last minute, dicking around here and there, and then rushing to get it done. In the military we (or at least I) always liked to get in, get whatever the task was done right now. Hurry up, and get it done. Then you have all the rest of the time, however long it was, to screw around, with nothing at all, no worries, hanging over your head. I love that feeling, and still live my life that way.

Response by LCpl Gregory King made Sep 8 at 2021 6:17 PM

2021-09-08T18:17:17-04:00

Getting them to Understand "THE FOG OF WAR"!!

Response by LCpl Gregory King made Sep 8 at 2021 6:17 PM

2021-09-08T18:17:57-04:00

Getting them to Understand "THE FOG OF WAR'!!

Response by LCpl Steffen C. made Sep 8 at 2021 6:18 PM

2021-09-08T18:18:22-04:00

The mindset of just doing. Keeping your bearing and discipline and just doing the job without question.

Response by SPC Robin Price-Dirks made Sep 8 at 2021 6:21 PM

2021-09-08T18:21:51-04:00

My mom didn't understand the mission or that I couldn't just pick up and leave anytime I wanted. I called and talked to her every week from Germany but she got upset that I didn't write to her, so she called the USO and told them I NEVER contacted them!! It was embarrassing to have to sit in my commanders office with receipts in hand to prove I called her and have a letter dictated to me write and send to my mom. I was working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week to fix stuff prior quartermasters didn't do alongside my fellow supply personnel. I thought that hearing my voice was better than ink any day...........stupid me. She never wrote me............not even in basic and blew off my graduation too

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 6:24 PM

2021-09-08T18:24:06-04:00

Brotherhood. Amazing how such a simple word has a meaning that so few truly understand. I have my Infantry brothers, and now that I'm out of the Army, I have my club Brothers (note the capital letter, as that isn't accidental). But my family, to this day, dont understand what I lost getting out of the Army. I had my brothers in Arms, and it never mattered what was going on. We were there. We had each other's back, even when it seemed that the world was coming to crush us. I understand now, the old Outlaw biker mentality, seeking that Brotherhood, coming back from Service. It's like excising a piece of yourself and leaving it behind. But when you find a true Brother out in the real world, it's like someone crept in and replaced that missing piece from their own skin and their own heart. I really can't explain it better than that.

Response by CPT Franklin Schall made Sep 8 at 2021 6:26 PM

2021-09-08T18:26:36-04:00

I didn't qualify for the draft but was able to sign a medical waiver. My family and friends thought I was crazy but my wife supported me. Three years active duty was better than graduate school and I got paid for a terrific education.

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 8 at 2021 6:27 PM

2021-09-08T18:27:30-04:00

My new-found love of playing in the dirt!

Response by CPL Richard Hughes made Sep 8 at 2021 6:34 PM

2021-09-08T18:34:08-04:00

About everything I did I couldn’t talk about. My first marriage ended in divorce because of it.

Response by Lt Col Melinda Grafton made Sep 8 at 2021 6:49 PM

2021-09-08T18:49:10-04:00

It was difficult to explain the crucial work we were doing deployed. When I would try to share with my family and friends they didn't understand. As if we spoke different languages. It was very alienating and it had me choose friendships with people who had a better understanding of military lifestyle and responsibilities.

Response by TSgt Wehart Hosea made Sep 8 at 2021 6:57 PM

2021-09-08T18:57:56-04:00

The time and effort that is put in to keep an aircarft in flying condition. The friendship that evolves with your co-workers and the fun you have.

Response by MSG Kevin Elliott made Sep 8 at 2021 7:08 PM

2021-09-08T19:08:54-04:00

The sense of duty and honor. I guess if you haven't been there, you can't understand it. I was in West Germany and it was difficult to explain why we were gone so much. I remember you could report the number of days away from home station on your taxes and you got some kind of a rebate. It wasn't much, like $2 a day, but we all started counting. One year it was just under 300 days. Exercises, maneuvers, Ammo Holding Area Guard, Border Augmentation (Camp Hof and Camp Gates), Meisau (sp??) Guard, NATO Missile Guard, Roll-out Alerts to the border, etc.
At least the Command Group was good about letting us off when they could.

Response by PFC John Barnett made Sep 8 at 2021 7:13 PM

2021-09-08T19:13:14-04:00

How it felt to serve my country. What it was like to be in Desert Storm, at least what I could talk about.

Response by CPL Stephen Zavosky made Sep 8 at 2021 7:14 PM

2021-09-08T19:14:12-04:00

The worst part of either of my deployments was coming home. Even after being out almost 14 years, it's still one of the best and worst feelings ever for me. I can't explain it in a way that makes sense, so I just don't mention it at all.

Response by LCpl Joe Maceachern made Sep 8 at 2021 7:19 PM

2021-09-08T19:19:25-04:00

I'm from the sixties, you know we're the old guys who don't have many years left, them you'll be taken my place. We had a tight unit of Simpher Fi Marines. When one of us checks out we all feel the pain.
If you haven't been there you'll never understand, some wounds may not be visible, but we still suffer.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 7:30 PM

2021-09-08T19:30:44-04:00

The culture and traditions are hard for people not in the military to understand in context w/ day-to-day experiences are the hardest to communicate ...

Response by Amn Nancy Young made Sep 8 at 2021 7:31 PM

2021-09-08T19:31:02-04:00

Being a female in the military during a time that females did not have the same rights or services as males.

Response by SFC Larry Jones made Sep 8 at 2021 7:32 PM

2021-09-08T19:32:40-04:00

My mother in law couldn't understand why I didn't want to wear my uniform when I was on leave. I agree with SSG Steven Gonzaga comment about camaraderie. No way non veteran civilians understand that. I also quickly gave up trying to explain the performance of my duties to them. I wasn't in a sensitive MOS, but I know my brothers and sisters on here understand.

Response by SSgt Law Floyd made Sep 8 at 2021 7:35 PM

2021-09-08T19:35:28-04:00

The hardest things, that really were impossible, not just hard for me to communicate, was first of all the fear. The abject terror that some situations put you in. It was hard to communicate because you are supposed to be the tough guy but frankly everyone has fear, but knowing that never made me feel any more capable about discussing it. The second thing was even though you had comrades at your side, you really begin to miss simple things like a hug or sentimental interactions. This all relates to being deployed, but I spent more time deployed than stateside, so many of those feelings were sustained for long periods of time.

Response by Capt Rex Fogleman made Sep 8 at 2021 7:40 PM

2021-09-08T19:40:10-04:00

The fact that you don't have the same rights as every other citizen, at least not fully. You cannot just simply say no to deployment, and that many things are not fair or right. You cant come home for special occasions many times, and that being deployed is stressful. The other thing that is very difficult for non-military to understand is the dark humor that develops in order to deal with serious situations and why it is so effective.

Response by A1C Russell Wilfong made Sep 8 at 2021 7:41 PM

2021-09-08T19:41:19-04:00

I suffered from MST over several months over several months in 1976-7 at the hands of a very senior member of my base. I was threatened with court-martial and prison time. It caused me to get out and live as a homeless person for a few years. I never told my parents anything. They are dead now. In 2007 I was planning my suicide and as a last ditch move I stopped at a VA medical clinic and Dr. Bob took the time to save my life. I still suffer from complex PTSD, but I now get to spend time with my grandchildren.

Response by Cpl Jacob Herring made Sep 8 at 2021 7:45 PM

2021-09-08T19:45:56-04:00

The biggest thing I believe occurred resulting from my experience in the Corps is my sense of humor. It is a coping mechanism and no one or thing is free from this. I have internalized the jokes that we would find funny and tend to not make them unless I am in the company of other veterans or service members.

Response by Cpl Joshua Wright made Sep 8 at 2021 7:52 PM

2021-09-08T19:52:34-04:00

The brotherhood. And the pride for protecting your nation!

Response by SPC Adam Dinitz made Sep 8 at 2021 7:54 PM

2021-09-08T19:54:17-04:00

I am not the entire Army. That how I think and act is me not the Army.

Response by Cpl Craig Howard made Sep 8 at 2021 7:54 PM

2021-09-08T19:54:30-04:00

The danger we all faced while deployed. My family knew where I was and what the news reported, and I was not about to change anything when I returned. I did open up to my Dad eventually. He was in the Navy in the defense of Taiwan, so he understood as a Brother, and more than my Father.

Response by SPC Kathy Crouch made Sep 8 at 2021 7:56 PM

2021-09-08T19:56:18-04:00

My mother didn't understand before I joined that as a military spouse I would be buried by the army.

Response by SSgt Karen Jarman made Sep 8 at 2021 8:09 PM

2021-09-08T20:09:42-04:00

The whole experience. Most who never served get their ideas from movies and sitcoms. Gomer Pyle, Up Periscope, Stripes, etc. Always funny, always busy, always interesting. Nothing about sleeping in a shack on the flight line (no bed or bedding) for a 72 hour duty. Nothing about 14 hours at a desk waiting on a call for support from overseas that never comes because your planning was so good you weren't needed. Broke weekends. Broke weeks. Idiots to whom treating subordinates like basic trainees was more important than the assigned mission. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed serving, and I enjoyed most of the people I worked with. But it was not all the glory that most people believe it is from TV.

Response by SSG James Knopp made Sep 8 at 2021 8:14 PM

2021-09-08T20:14:29-04:00

What I find difficult to communicate to my family is the bond, not only with the soldiers you have trained with, more importantly my “battle buddy”. I was an Aeroscout for ten years and we were paired with a pilot aka “ battle buddy” flying scout helicopters. When on missions we knew each other’s job and what was expected of each other at all times. One misconception, as an enlisted NCO, was that I actually flew the helicopter and we shared cockpit duties. Yes, we needed to pass check rides also. That bond and the trust which came with it made us inseparable. We often joked when we were “skids on the ground” of cheating death one more time. The WO I flew with was one of the best pilots I’ve ever flown with in my military career and I trusted his judgment at all times.
Also, I’m proud to be part of one of the largest fraternities in the world and unless you’ve served your country, your clueless so don’t judge.

Response by PO3 Jamie Regan made Sep 8 at 2021 8:15 PM

2021-09-08T20:15:50-04:00

That it’s not something I want to brag about and share with the world. My mom still buys everything Navy even 6 years after I got out.

Response by MSG Frederick Otero made Sep 8 at 2021 8:21 PM

2021-09-08T20:21:35-04:00

Man's inhumanity to man and the realization of how the thin veneer of civilization can be stripped from a person during armed conflict.

Response by CPL Nathan Parker made Sep 8 at 2021 8:25 PM

2021-09-08T20:25:47-04:00

The dark humor, how you have become acceptable to death, and talking in acronyms.

Response by PO3 Danielle Wesley made Sep 8 at 2021 8:35 PM

2021-09-08T20:35:37-04:00

The most difficult thing to communicate to my friends and family about my military service was that; A) I had been raped while serving B) Nothing ever happened to the men that raped me

Response by SPC Mike Aguailar made Sep 8 at 2021 8:48 PM

2021-09-08T20:48:45-04:00

Hope I win!

Response by PFC Deryk Robinson made Sep 8 at 2021 8:51 PM

2021-09-08T20:51:35-04:00

Just how my life has change and I see things a little change today and sometimes I have trouble expressing myself today.

Response by PO2 Scott Brown made Sep 8 at 2021 8:52 PM

2021-09-08T20:52:34-04:00

Serving onboard an antiquated diesel submarine in the early 80's - experiencing a near collision on just my second dive, that could have easily killed the entire crew. Dealing with PTSD (I'm a disabled veteran) and the associated symptoms that come with it.

Response by MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht made Sep 8 at 2021 8:53 PM

2021-09-08T20:53:38-04:00

My Time in Vietnam. The things i saw while I was there and the things after word. It was very difficult to talk about it. Only those that were there understood. I still can't talk about it. God bless those who came back and may god hold them in his hands for those that did not.

Response by SGT David Flores made Sep 8 at 2021 8:54 PM

2021-09-08T20:54:59-04:00

The feeling of belonging to a team.

Response by SA Tina Keys made Sep 8 at 2021 9:15 PM

2021-09-08T21:15:56-04:00

Finding a feeling of camaraderie, and a streamlined process when it comes to chain of command. I find in the civilian workforce there’s too many cooks in the kitchen, and not a lot of working your way up the ladder.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 9:16 PM

2021-09-08T21:16:38-04:00

The experiences of challenges faced down range, the bond of friendships to create life long networking partnerships, and the basics of structure to keep the continuity of an operation moving as if it was a well oil machine.

Response by SMSgt Victor Ogden made Sep 8 at 2021 9:20 PM

2021-09-08T21:20:23-04:00

During the 10 years I was stationed at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, the 2,000+ tri-service and civilian staff members treated over 50,000 wounded warriors from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was difficult to explain to friends and family back home how hard it was to see men and women in uniform being injured while fighting for others. It’s also nearly impossible to communicate the toll patient care can take on the medics who care for the heroes who are harmed fighting the good fight. Unless you’ve experienced military patient care up close and personal, it’s hard to relate. I’m now retired after 27 rewarding years of service. God bless those who continue providing top notch medical care to our wounded warriors.

Response by SGT David Jackson made Sep 8 at 2021 9:31 PM

2021-09-08T21:31:10-04:00

It was next to impossible to get any of my family, with the exception of my mother, to understand the difference between "War is hell", and that being in the army during war (Vietnam) isn't always hell unless you make it so. My mother was the first black WAC from Chicago in WWII, and she knew the difference. Guess you had to go, to know.

Response by SPC Jimo Koo made Sep 8 at 2021 9:39 PM

2021-09-08T21:39:32-04:00

Giving priority to the mission, it gives less time to talk directly with the family during training or when dispatching troops

Response by SPC Jimo Koo made Sep 8 at 2021 9:41 PM

2021-09-08T21:41:57-04:00

Giving priority to the mission, it gives time to have a direct conversation with the family during training or dispatch. And it is difficult to tell the details of the work due to concerns about the leak of military secrets or military-related information.

Response by SPC Jimo Koo made Sep 8 at 2021 9:42 PM

2021-09-08T21:42:28-04:00

Giving priority to the mission, it gives less time to have a direct conversation with the family during training or dispatch. And it is difficult to tell the details of the work due to concerns about the leak of military secrets or military-related information.

Response by SPC Kent Luck made Sep 8 at 2021 9:48 PM

2021-09-08T21:48:14-04:00

PTSD related circumstances.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 10:05 PM

2021-09-08T22:05:06-04:00

OPSEC. Seriously. Don't post about what I do or who I am if you're not going to verify every friend request.

Response by PO1 Charles Wadlington made Sep 8 at 2021 10:10 PM

2021-09-08T22:10:20-04:00

The most difficult thing for my family, and anyone who hasn't lived under similar circumstances, is the ability to COMPARTMENTALIZE. While deployed, I would often go for days without thinking about my family...NOT because I didn't care, but because I care so much. I was an engineer, and repair party, and flight party, and etc., etc., etc., and A LOT of that stuff is wicked dangerous... and people die when your head isn't in the game. My point is, I HAD to put my feelings for my family in a secure compartment to prevent worry and missing them to overwhelm my ability to do my job. Mail Call was a convenient and predictable venue for taking out those feelings and doing a "status check" before putting them away until the next Mail Call.

Response by 1LT Rich Voss made Sep 8 at 2021 10:11 PM

2021-09-08T22:11:13-04:00

I'll keep it to two things: 1) that special relationship one has with the guy (no women in combat arms when I served) that shares your foxhole, machine-gun crew, or lastly my tank crew. I've tried to call it a different kind of "love". Have found it impossible to explain to those that have never served. 2) that "Top Secret" means "Top Secret". Just because you're family doesn't mean you get to know what I know....ever !

Response by PO1 Jeremy Derousselle made Sep 8 at 2021 10:24 PM

2021-09-08T22:24:14-04:00

It was hard to share anything with my family. They always had a negative outlook about the military

Response by SGT Anna Tyler made Sep 8 at 2021 10:25 PM

2021-09-08T22:25:58-04:00

Never really talked to my family about my service. They just know I served.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2021 11:02 PM

2021-09-08T23:02:08-04:00

People would ask for updates on what I was doing or what I would be doing. Both of my deployments ended up being MEU’s, so I usually just said we have been training and will be doing more training. It’s hard to explain that you’re not training for something specific necessarily, you’re training for the possibility of a conflict during “peacetime”. There’s more stuff, but most people will cover the rest.

Response by SPC Douglas Bolton made Sep 8 at 2021 11:06 PM

2021-09-08T23:06:42-04:00

Calling my brothers and sisters family. It really felt like it.

Response by MAJ Chad Rising made Sep 8 at 2021 11:10 PM

2021-09-08T23:10:55-04:00

The sense of duty to accomplish the mission. The lack of a normal work schedule and the desire to complete all tasks before being released each day.

Response by SPC Robin Krauth made Sep 8 at 2021 11:17 PM

2021-09-08T23:17:19-04:00

Everything I saw as a medic. When I was hurt. I let my dad know but not my mom. Dad had been through Vietnam so he understood being a devil dog so he got it. Mom, not so much especially when you are an only child that took them 9 years to have. So she’d of panicked even though she was also a Marine. So this Army medic was a Daddy’s girl lol. Still miss that old man after almost a decade gone.

Response by PO2 Joan MacNeill made Sep 8 at 2021 11:20 PM

2021-09-08T23:20:16-04:00

Well, this young sailor came home on leave after boot camp, but was really quiet most of the time. Finally, his mom asked him why. His reply: "Well, Mom, I have just spent several weeks with a bunch of spirited young guys like me. Somehow, we just naturally fell into the habit of using a lot of profanity. That habit is still with me, and I am afraid to say anything, because I might fuck up."

More seriously, one thing most people couldn't grasp was why anyone would ride a sewer pipe under water for long periods, it seemed SO SCARY to them.

Also, I found Viet Nam to be a beautiful country, with attractive, gentle-seeming people. I couldn't picture them at war. That was hard to explain to folks, in view of all the horrors taking place there. Yes, I will be the first to admit that my perceptions were incomplete, from my limited acquaintance with the country (in 1966-67).

One disappointment was based on the inability for a joke to be funny if you have to explain it. So, for example: "Where are the headlights on a ship?" "In the head." wouldn't work. Other meaningful aspects of THE LIFE couldn't be properly appreciated because ya just had ta be there.

Response by PO2 Francis Cherwin made Sep 8 at 2021 11:22 PM

2021-09-08T23:22:20-04:00

That we had to pay income tax on our military pay. My father said it was Tax-Free.

Response by SGT Jeff Long made Sep 8 at 2021 11:31 PM

2021-09-08T23:31:32-04:00

My unit had to apply for security clearances before we left for Afghanistan. Some saltier guys asked “what’s secret about shooting the enemy in the face??” I cannot say how the sausage is made.

Response by PO1 Dave Shewbridge made Sep 8 at 2021 11:32 PM

2021-09-08T23:32:44-04:00

I was on submarines, during deployment we had no communications outside, we sometimes received “familygrams” short 40 word messages from our family members. This left a strong sense of isolation and loneliness…
On return often we could not discuss where we were or our operations… The result my spouse never knew why I tossed in my sleep or had nightmares. Main issues the operational tempo was a constant alertness 18 hour rotation of 6 on 6 maintenance and drills and 6 of broken sleep… 20 years later I still have sleep issues.
We still do no more than brush the surface of my deployments.

Response by TSgt Ken Vandevoort made Sep 9 at 2021 12:12 AM

2021-09-09T00:12:15-04:00

I could never tell my family exactly what I did at one base. They knew what my AFSC was, but they never knew who I really worked for and what I really did. Years later, my wife does not know. One of those things that will go to the grave with me.

Response by Lt Col Linda Ewers made Sep 9 at 2021 12:41 AM

2021-09-09T00:41:06-04:00

During my later career, I traveled about 400 miles away one weekend a month and two weeks a year or more, so missed many events, of both family and friends, due to my traditional Air Guard drills. It was difficult at times for people to understand that schedule and my being gone so much.

Response by PO1 Phil Audritsh made Sep 9 at 2021 12:49 AM

2021-09-09T00:49:04-04:00

Things I saw as a corpsman.

Response by LTC William Rubel made Sep 9 at 2021 1:38 AM

2021-09-09T01:38:42-04:00

Trying to explain what my job was.
Explain what the various things that were unique to the Army.

Response by Cpl Miguel Napoles made Sep 9 at 2021 1:43 AM

2021-09-09T01:43:35-04:00

It was difficult to tell my parents and friends I was in training, to deploy for war. Didn't want them worrying about me.

Response by Cpl Joe Castro made Sep 9 at 2021 3:05 AM

2021-09-09T03:05:55-04:00

The thing that was the most difficult to communicate to friends and family was what truly went on while deployed to Iraq from 05/2004 to 05/2005. Not just being away from family, but the lack of basic necessities like fresh drinkable water, hot or cool showers, a decent warm or hot meal, and the fact that you would wear the same uniform for at least 3 to 4 days because you were not able to wash clothes as needed. They thought all that was just hyped up, that those things were supposed to be automatically put into place. Then when you try to explain about the constant bombardment of incoming rockets and mortars, well, it was presumed I must be exaggerating, even with photographic proof. It took it's toll on marriages, mine included, especially when you would think your spouse would have believed you. I currently visit the veterans center near me for counseling for PTS, which my ex didn't believe me to have, claiming I just had anger issues. Yes I did have anger issues, from seeing on a daily basis the birds being filled up with flag draped caskets of young service members that were barely between the ages of 18 through 23, not even getting a chance to start living, and their lives were over. I was the old man there, having been a veteran once already and re-enlisting 13 years later at the age of 37. So trying to convey that to other's whether it be family or friends, they just couldn't understand how or why that would affect me so much. Some things just can't be explained in the simplest forms to get others to understand.

Response by TSgt Daniel Relic made Sep 9 at 2021 3:33 AM

2021-09-09T03:33:31-04:00

What in fact it meant to be a military man 24/7 and how that impacted your family if you were married.

Response by SGT Michael Frazier made Sep 9 at 2021 3:53 AM

2021-09-09T03:53:04-04:00

In the days of our rfrad sitting at demob station was so happy that we had returned home, but the day I was to fly home it was time to say goodbye to the men that I had just spent a 18 months deployed with in my heart saying good by was so hard it choked me up and almost a tear or two these men became my brothers, my family, my mentors, my protector, My Best friends. wondering if I’d ever see any of them again till this day they all still are in my daily thoughts that is a feeling no one at home can ever understand

Response by Pvt SanJuana Méndez made Sep 9 at 2021 3:57 AM

2021-09-09T03:57:38-04:00

Hard for me to express hw cheated I feel, even 50 yrs later, at the way I wz discharged. It hurts that my trust could be betrayed so easily.

Response by SSgt Daniel d'Errico made Sep 9 at 2021 4:11 AM

2021-09-09T04:11:32-04:00

the difficulty explaining a 24 hour clock reference, chow meaning all three meals of the day, TDY as being on temporary duty at another location other than my permanent base. the only other persons who'd understand me were my brother and brother-in-law.

Response by CPL Julie Wilusz made Sep 9 at 2021 4:43 AM

2021-09-09T04:43:19-04:00

Well, let's see...had one sister tell me I gave up my place in the family when I joined the Army, as only losers joined the military. Mom was really pissed that I couldn't make it home from my brother's wedding. Try explaining to your mom that you just arrived at a new duty station, that's participating in a major field exercise, and nobody is authorized leave for any reason other than emergency. She didn't believe me. She didn't talk to me for damned near six months. Oh well. After I was hurt, several of my siblings bitched about how their taxes pay my disability benefits. I really don't have a while lot to do with my siblings much any more. I ended up moving 5,000 miles away from them. I make my own family.

Response by MSgt C A Valgardson made Sep 9 at 2021 6:29 AM

2021-09-09T06:29:40-04:00

Something only us single people can understand: I spent a year deployed to Iraq and no one in my family knew, not a one. I was stationed in Japan already, could route my phone calls & mail, they'd never know otherwise. Kept it a secret for two years after I returned. Why? Because my family... parents & siblings, are non-entities to the DoD, there's nothing they do for them until I'm dead. Why make them worry day & night for a year, it's not like they lived on base or in a military community that they could have turned to for support.

Response by PVT Robert Bernhardt made Sep 9 at 2021 7:54 AM

2021-09-09T07:54:10-04:00

Communicating what seeing and being in war is like, how it feels and how that effected me and my perception of things in general and specifically. I needed to share that to be understood. What resulted was my father making it an argument and putting a loaded pistol to my head, declaring “This is my house!” It blew my mind. I had considered it as my home, a place to be safe and cared for. So I moved out and terminated all contact with blood family, sometimes finding a sense of family with strangers on street corners, and began 10 years of wandering, hitchhiking between Alaska and Panama, in search of myself and for a people I felt and they felt I was part of. I found myself but gave up on the rest, ultimately taking a job as night security at a clothing optional hot spring resort, where I met my present wife, the forth. I am happily married to for the best 36 years of my life.

Response by PO3 Monica Zink Davenport made Sep 9 at 2021 8:02 AM

2021-09-09T08:02:06-04:00

Most difficult thing…what I saw/experienced..they “understood” but didn’t truly get it having not been a part of or having ever seen/experienced anything close to it..

Response by PO3 Thomas Martinez made Sep 9 at 2021 8:19 AM

2021-09-09T08:19:03-04:00

Never could really talk to them. They were so against it.

Response by MSG John Knight made Sep 9 at 2021 8:23 AM

2021-09-09T08:23:39-04:00

Like countless others have mentioned the camaraderie. Sense of belonging. Moreover the feelings and emotions r/t PTSD causing experiences.

Response by SPC Gerrie Griswold made Sep 9 at 2021 8:40 AM

2021-09-09T08:40:09-04:00

The most difficult thing to communicate was why we do what we do. They don't understand the need to serve and then our need to stand for and next to the people we serve with. They are proud we serve and defend our country, but they don't understand why.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 9 at 2021 8:52 AM

2021-09-09T08:52:27-04:00

How the military actually 'owns' you. You really are not your own person. You belong to the military. The Army can tell you where to live, how to live, who to be with, what to wear, what to eat in certain respects, restrict your movements on and off base, etc. It's a real change from the freedom a civilian enjoys.

Response by SPC Dameon Myres made Sep 9 at 2021 8:58 AM

2021-09-09T08:58:55-04:00

Friends and family found it difficult to understand what I did while serving in Korea. I was attached to the JSA, located within the DMZ, and no one understood "demilitarized zone". They didn't understand what a member of the military was doing in a "demilitarized" portion of Korea.

Response by SGT Joey Schrier made Sep 9 at 2021 9:42 AM

2021-09-09T09:42:54-04:00

what the true meaning of "intestinal fortitude" is and how to find it. You can't explain to civilians, how you find the strength to push forward, when you have nothing left.

Response by LTC Leslie Lee made Sep 9 at 2021 9:45 AM

2021-09-09T09:45:07-04:00

Simply why I did it. Why spend all that time away from family? It didn't pay that much. Hard to explain the love of country is the love of family. I think it was only after 9/11 did my husband fully understand it.

Response by SFC Robert Walton made Sep 9 at 2021 10:17 AM

2021-09-09T10:17:48-04:00

Family time was and is the hardest to explain lets be honest My whole career was hard for me and my Family. It was not like you could just say hey 16:30 hours i'm going home, and in most cases it wasn't your supervisor making the call it was you, the Mission had to be accomplished. I had a child that went to counseling because Dad was never there. If you were on the boarder it wasn't like a 9to5 job. Talking to your wife wasn't much easier "why always you can't someone else do it?" Gee babe there will be 12 more people there with me. This is what we do.
Vacations Haa not like you got paid enough to jump a big iron bird to go home and see everyone. I some times think i could have done something and been more proactive spent more time with family but i still see no opening where i could have. I now find more things to do around the house and property rather than go fishing or seeing sites that kind of thing, family spread all over the state not like a trip 4 blocks over. I some times feel I failed as a Father and Husband but i did the b best i could with time i had. It was rough but at the same time addictive. Some days i wish i had stayed until they threw me out. Some of the time was just a blur because you were so busy. I managed to finally admit that i have much less patients today then before enlisting things don't go right BOOM. NOT LATER NOW RIGHT NOW. Now new wife new life and still the same habits Mission first but now i make the rules i am my own worst employer working at home. JMTC

Response by SPC Tamica Thompson made Sep 9 at 2021 10:17 AM

2021-09-09T10:17:50-04:00

Those difficult-to-communicate things that were impossible to understand for my family and non veteran friends were just plain ole understanding. When I came back home, I was an emotional and mental mess but didn’t necessarily realize it. I used to cry and get angry at the drop of a dime. I would get into it with just about anybody including but especially my mother and I didn’t know where it was coming from. I was slowly losing my mind and knew it was bad when I got into with my cousin at Thanksgiving over food. After that, I sought out a therapist and began therapy and was feeling better. My family and friends did not understand what I was going through mentally and emotionally and it was difficult for me to convey that I was not okay. Also, it is difficult for them to understand what you endured in the military and what certain military language mean. I am sooo grateful for my military friends; I can always be able to relate to them

Response by SSG Archie Martinez made Sep 9 at 2021 10:31 AM

2021-09-09T10:31:13-04:00

The difficult to communicate things from my military experiences are the importance in having a sense of urgency (at the right times) and loyalty. A sense of urgency is needed to survive in todays society and loyalty is a character trait only the military can teach (the right way).

Response by PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln made Sep 9 at 2021 10:45 AM

2021-09-09T10:45:33-04:00

That when I had to go when and where told (ordered) to.

Response by A1C Bill Kolb made Sep 9 at 2021 11:06 AM

2021-09-09T11:06:08-04:00

I was serving in the most highly secreat unit in the military FBI was doing background checks with all my friends , teachers, employers and neighbors and my family did not know what I was doing most assumed I had committed crime I could not tell them it was training for doing or even my location!

Response by SGT Carl Watson made Sep 9 at 2021 11:08 AM

2021-09-09T11:08:19-04:00

I was falsely charged with going AWOL for over 100 days then jailed pending a trial. I agreed to a trial to get out of the hot jail in VN and I was demoted to the lowest rank and given an early discharge which I wanted. All of my personally belongings were never sent to me as they said they would.

Response by SPC Kevin Cook made Sep 9 at 2021 11:17 AM

2021-09-09T11:17:33-04:00

The harsh conditions & fear. I found understanding & camaraderie at my VFW Post.

Response by PVT Lois Bray made Sep 9 at 2021 11:36 AM

2021-09-09T11:36:07-04:00

Being raped in the service and trying to explain to my dad exactly what had happened and yet couldn't really tell him who was all involved which was a white Sgt who said" Rape is nothing to cry about". Until my dad's death in 2005, I still couldn't tell him about what the Sgt. said to me. My dad was also in the Army and he didn't know how bad it was for women being in the military was. To this day, even my husband don't know the whole story of who was involved and I keep that to myself. Sometimes when I hear about women being assaulted in all branches of the service, it gets my blood boiling knowing that the ones who are responsible for the acts don't get punished or not enough. The three that raped me got $500 fine and a dishonorable discharge and that was it. No jail time. As for me, I have a life time of nightmares, can't be in a room with only one door in and out. The guys can't be black. I have no hard feelings toward black men and they can't understand why I won't stay in a room with them, even though, there are other people in the room.

Response by SrA Sean M. made Sep 9 at 2021 12:01 PM

2021-09-09T12:01:36-04:00

Having to answer questions about what I did, as some of my job duties involved handling classified material. Coming up with vague non-specifics was frustrating.

Response by CPL John Dutra made Sep 9 at 2021 12:19 PM

2021-09-09T12:19:47-04:00

The reason I volunteered to go to Vietnam. My family and friends just did not understand. I felt my country needed me and I was willing to go.

Response by MGySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 9 at 2021 1:08 PM

2021-09-09T13:08:43-04:00

I would say the most difficult things to convey from my military career was the need to complete a "mission" and to be early to everything. You can't just reply with "Because people will DIE" if they ask you "why?". I hate being late and being on time is the same as late to me. Hard habit to break. Another thing i have a hard time with is trying to convey pain. Pain is a way of life and some people cannot function with even the slightest amount of discomfort and we live every day IN pain but don't complain about it. Without having lived the lifestyle, it is hard to explain that to people.

Response by Capt Sylvia DeBorger made Sep 9 at 2021 1:35 PM

2021-09-09T13:35:56-04:00

As a female, I must say, "discrimination against females." This was back in the '60s when I joined the AF. Not all males were discriminatory, but enough to be noticeable.

Response by PO3 Jc Pearson made Sep 9 at 2021 3:17 PM

2021-09-09T15:17:07-04:00

The classied things you wish you could answer ,but because of National Security you can not.

Response by SSG Rafael R. Rodriguez Sr. made Sep 9 at 2021 3:40 PM

2021-09-09T15:40:49-04:00

Two things that my family cannot understand:
1. Why I wake up super early to accomplish things like cleaning the house, and do errands before the rest of the family wakes up. Why? They ask? Sleep in. I wake up early in the morning on weekends, holidays, and my birthday. They just don’t understand.
2. (PMCS) Preventive Maintenance Checks & Services. I do this every week on each of my vehicles and they think I’m crazy. I check the tires, gauges, and lights. But when things happened on a long trip, they now understand why.

Response by Jon S made Sep 9 at 2021 3:52 PM

2021-09-09T15:52:37-04:00

I found it difficult to explain to my Mom that I was going to fail Basic training due to me not being physically capable of completing the FA. I was placed in medhold (actual living hell) and only got to make 2 phone calls to my Mom via pay phone in a 4 month span. Each time she was supportive to me and told me “if you can do it, then do it. If you can’t then you always have a place back home”. I couldn’t find a way to explain to her, and to this day still can’t, the hell I went through to get through Medhold/Get Fit/ELS. It was the worst time of my life. I saw grown men crying in the middle of the night on the shower floors. I saw a dorm evacuate their housing due to infectious mold spores infiltrating their respiratory system. I had no access to clean water (besides during meals) and had to drink out of my molding canteen as they had me put Metamucil in it weeks prior. (Also outside cups could not be mailed as I tried and the CQ people threw it away). I asked Mom to send me chapstick since I wasn’t allowed to go out of the training building for 2 months. She sent it. I couldn’t find the words to explain how happy a tube of burts bees made me feel, and used my Mom as motivation to get the job done or go home. Later that week I passed my Fitness Assessment. The pain and pleasure that is experienced while serving was the most profound to me. The loneliness of not having anyone near you, while simultaneously carrying out a high stress job. Part of the most difficult to communicate is the atmosphere and environment that comes with the job. Some things are sensitive and must be reserved from discussion due to the job requirements and the Non-Disclosure Agreement each Member signs. You are on call 24/7. Whether you worked 0 hours or 80 hours, you were paid the same money as there is no overtime. Out of everything it was the most difficult to explain how much love I had for my family. It’s just something you cannot do well at distance.

Response by PO2 Brian Hoadley made Sep 9 at 2021 4:20 PM

2021-09-09T16:20:24-04:00

Describing things I saw other humans inflict on one another, hearing the screams, sobbing and wallows of refugees and other hated people being subjected to terror, smelling piles of bodies stacked up like chordwood...and just the death in general...I wouldn't even know where to start communicating to family, on these things

Response by Maj Gary Ewers made Sep 9 at 2021 6:14 PM

2021-09-09T18:14:45-04:00

It was difficult to express the fact that the military is about mission accomplishment and that it may be necessary to put in long hours at work in order to get the job done. It’s not a typical 9-5 job.

Response by SFC Rick Brooks made Sep 9 at 2021 6:23 PM

2021-09-09T18:23:06-04:00

the camaraderie and the experiences we went through

Response by SSgt Michael Bowen made Sep 9 at 2021 6:30 PM

2021-09-09T18:30:39-04:00

Combat and the kids surrounded by it while still trying to be kids .

Response by PV2 Joanes Edouard made Sep 9 at 2021 7:23 PM

2021-09-09T19:23:48-04:00

I destroyed my military career by saving another soldier who was about to fall upside-down from a ten feet military Locker in our barrack while we were about to have an inspection by our Fort Commander. Well, to save this soldier, I had to use my hands and raise both of my arms to grab his shoulders on his way down from the top of the locker. However, I was in front of the locker, cleaning and drying my right ear after taking a shower, and I had a long wood-Q-tip in my right ear when this all had occurred, and when I had raised my arms to grab the soldier, my right arm pushed in the 12 inches wood-Q-tip through my right ear and eardrum to my brain. As a result, the damages were so extreme that they were irreparable medically or otherwise in 1978, and this Traumatic ear and Brain Injuries and permanent damages became the beginning of the worst nightmare of my life but surely it was the end of my military career which I am still struggling with today because the military and the Department of Veterans Affairs had abandoned me afterward. I was 21 years old. Since the soldier that I had saved didn't tell anyone about what really accursed, and the fact that I was unconscious, the military personals who conducted the investigation had come to the assumption that I had hurt myself so I could get out of the military because I could not endure the challenges. However, with my kind of report in my military medical record, I was truly targeted for prejudice and racism by my military superiors. Even though that I could not remember anything that had happened three days later after my first surgery from Fort Leonard. Wood.

Response by MAJ William St. John made Sep 9 at 2021 8:32 PM

2021-09-09T20:32:12-04:00

How to communicate the end of the Vietnam war to the soldier who were there and who lost comrades who felt every bit of the pain from our essentially given up.@

Response by SGT Lisa Mayne made Sep 9 at 2021 8:39 PM

2021-09-09T20:39:43-04:00

How I could be incredibly homesick one minute and totally forget about it the next!

Response by CWO5 Stan Price made Sep 9 at 2021 8:42 PM

2021-09-09T20:42:15-04:00

My combat service...unless you've been there, done that, "they" don't understand. Too many just want to know how many bad guys you killed.....no clue about what you went thru or what happened even when you explain it to them....frustrating.

Response by SrA Robert Adams made Sep 9 at 2021 8:43 PM

2021-09-09T20:43:51-04:00

How much bs you had to deal with in the army

Response by SGT Dianna Pippins made Sep 9 at 2021 8:44 PM

2021-09-09T20:44:09-04:00

My sexual assault while in Basic Training.

Response by SSG Christopher Conklin made Sep 9 at 2021 8:44 PM

2021-09-09T20:44:49-04:00

the relations that are build doing the time you sever with a group of men and women, the color of your skin, if you were rich or poor, just having one other back, in peace time or in war. that make a great team.

Response by SFC Vanessa Thomas made Sep 9 at 2021 8:45 PM

2021-09-09T20:45:37-04:00

It was always hard for my family when I had to serve OCONUS and go away to a war zone. They were always grateful when I came back home.

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 9 at 2021 8:47 PM

2021-09-09T20:47:01-04:00

It was tough to explain why I missed the Army so much...why I didn't want to leave the house...why whenever anyone have me an opening, I couldn't shut up about my travels and the things I'd learned, and all the things I got to do...hard to make them understand .

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 9 at 2021 8:48 PM

2021-09-09T20:48:29-04:00

The absolute horror of war. Killing and watching your fellow troopers die. The real fear that gets in your gut. The camaraderie you have with those you served with.

Response by SFC Ed Hansell made Sep 9 at 2021 8:54 PM

2021-09-09T20:54:31-04:00

The things I did and saw during my two tours in Vietnam

Response by SPC Richard Rauenhorst made Sep 9 at 2021 9:04 PM

2021-09-09T21:04:53-04:00

First and foremost most communications while in Vietnam was with snail-mail. When you wrote something you would not get a response for about 2 weeks. I felt safe so I told my folks that if there was an attack on our post that it would have been followed up by an apology. Later I told them about an incident that happened one night. An enlisted man got drunk and fired a few rounds with his M16 and the next day they came around and had most of us open our lockers and took our M16 back to the armory.
This does remind me of one way that communications can be made fast - through the Red Cross. So one morning when I went into work I was told to go to see the First Sargent and when I got there I was told that I had a message at the Red Cross. I did not know were the Red Cross was so I asked directions and did not get really good directions. I knew it would not be anything good. Can you imagine all the things that went through my mind during the 15 min. it took me to find the Red Cross.
I come from a very large Farm Family of 19 living members, not to mention grandmother and aunts and uncles adding another 8 and I won't even mention the 50 cousins. When I found out it was my oldest uncle that had a serious accident and was the oldest brother of my dad - I let out a sigh of relief.
My dad told me later that he thought if I needed a break I could come home on an emergency leave.
Needless to say I did not go home on leave.

Response by SGT Kevin Taber made Sep 9 at 2021 9:34 PM

2021-09-09T21:34:50-04:00

The dumb shit we had to endure

Response by CPT Tim Wibking made Sep 9 at 2021 9:51 PM

2021-09-09T21:51:39-04:00

The intensity of the time and place that existed once and now are gone.

Response by PO3 Rick Lewis made Sep 9 at 2021 10:25 PM

2021-09-09T22:25:34-04:00

My first kill and my need for a beautiful Vietnamese girl every once in awhile.

Response by MSgt Robert Kagel made Sep 9 at 2021 10:26 PM

2021-09-09T22:26:58-04:00

The rather serious injury I received while deployed in a classified operation.

Response by LTC Wayne Brandon made Sep 9 at 2021 10:36 PM

2021-09-09T22:36:12-04:00

The time demands of being an officer, especially when being assigned to the Generals' staff.
Staff assignments as a Captain or Major require a great deal of extra time as things change constantly and one needs to have ready answers for the status of implementation and impact and valid reasons for anything not meeting the COS or CGs expectations. That is in addition to the mounds of paperwork that routinely hits your desk. Nothing terribly difficult about it, but it all just takes time and most civilians simply don't comprehend that aspect of military service.

Response by PO1 Howard Barnes made Sep 9 at 2021 10:55 PM

2021-09-09T22:55:52-04:00

I think one of the things i had the most difficulty explaining was the extremely tight quarters and lack of privacy on ship. i think it is also hard to explain my insane need for punctuality (rather be an hour early than 5 minutes late)
I think I was extremely fortunate that most of my friends and my wifes friends were military or married to military so she did not ask too many questions about what i did.

Response by PO3 Donald Reed made Sep 9 at 2021 10:59 PM

2021-09-09T22:59:54-04:00

The friendships and having each others back.

Response by SMSgt Jeff Kyle made Sep 10 at 2021 12:28 AM

2021-09-10T00:28:04-04:00

My wife and I are both retired Air Force. There was issues that cropped up after she retired and I was still serving. I was constantly TDY to one place or another. My attempt in getting my short tour overseas so I could return to the same duty station failed miserably. It’s a long expensive journey of moving and losing money because we couldn’t find a buyer for our house, then moving again, same problem and finally settling down at our current location. It was hard mostly on the kids. Even with my wife’s service, it’s almost impossible to explain separations to a small child. We did our best and the kids turned out better for the experiences.

Response by SPC Jim Shelton made Sep 10 at 2021 12:39 AM

2021-09-10T00:39:51-04:00

I had a good relationship with my family and never really had a hard time talking to them about military life.

Response by A1C Robert Underwood made Sep 10 at 2021 12:42 AM

2021-09-10T00:42:31-04:00

The daily grind, and putting up people in command that should not have been there.

Response by PO1 David McGillvray made Sep 10 at 2021 12:50 AM

2021-09-10T00:50:29-04:00

The biggest problem I had in communication with my family was being so many nautical miles away. This being before computers were a big thing. Telephone availability was severely limited, you had to be ashore, Then if you found one, you probably had to wait in line just for a short conversation. Fortunately the mail, (on paper communication) worked very well, it was always special when mail call was held. Such a variety of perfume and lipstick in those mail bags. It was a special perfume that has led to a 38 year marriage, still love it.

Response by SPC Michael Terrell made Sep 10 at 2021 2:21 AM

2021-09-10T02:21:35-04:00

What wasn't? They couldn't fathom why or how I could be an Engineer at a TV station, then that it wasn't a 9-5 job. The concept of being at work for 60 hours in three days? I was called a liar because no one works those kinds of hours. Others couldn't believe that I hadn't shot anyone, or that as an Enlisted I had dressed down officers who tried to prevent me from doing mission critical work. I loudly informed a newly graduated butter bar that if he didn't get out of my way, that I would make a phone call to report that he had caused the Weather Vision system to remain down past the allowable time, and that he would enjoy his time at Ft. Leavenworth for causing the flight school to be shut down. Unlike some, I took my job quite seriously. So much so I was offered a Civil Service job at Carin Airfield where I would finish my active duty, and continue at a much higher pay grade.

Response by SPC Roger Opfer made Sep 10 at 2021 2:52 AM

2021-09-10T02:52:47-04:00

It was always nice to come home to see my parents on leave and tell them what I was doing. Of course they were proud. I joined the Army, most of my friends either were drafted or didn't have to go for one reason or another. It was hard to talk to the ones still a home. We didn't have much in common anymore and I kind of felt alone. They let me know they had great jobs, got married & where living the good life. I was as happy to leave as I was to come home. "Everything Changes". Overseas I was on the DMZ in Korea. The only people that were suppose to be on the DMZ was us. When we got there, they told us at orientation. If your on patrol, day or night and you hear or see anything move out there on the zone. Shoot first, we'll talk later. It didn't take long to know the only thing you had was your weapon your fellow men & the United States flag. It was called, No mans land. Everyone in my barracks got a dear John letter except one guy that was married. I was the only one while I was over there that captured a North Korean and that don't make me anything. It was in the dead of winter & colder than hell. I remembered I was suppose to shoot first. I couldn't do it. It was night & I scoped the terrain all around me with my night scope on my rifle before I halted him to making sure he wasn't a decoy set up. He didn't have a weapon on him so I wasn't sure what was going on with him. I was just as scared as he was. I couldn't talk to him and he couldn't talk to me. I motioned what I wanted him to do & got him to my squad leader and they took him away. I only told a few people back home. Each time, I wished I wouldn't have. Drinking, most made some smart remarks or said OH bullshit your full of it. After that I never talked to outsiders about it again. When I came back from Korea and we walked in the airport terminal. Protesters started screaming at us, spitting on us, calling us murderers, baby killers & numerous other things. They thought we were coming back from Vietnam. It doesn't matter where we came back from. We are Americans just like them. The difference is they haven't done anything for their country and most likely never will. In closing, I won't talk anything Military to a Non Military person. I just turned 77 in Aug.

Response by SrA Ronald Moore made Sep 10 at 2021 3:37 AM

2021-09-10T03:37:12-04:00

The most difficult was to get across to family that I was moving to Okinawa and would not be back daily, and That I was on a base and not walking around with no place to sleep and eat, not like in the movies When Soldiers stormed a beach head and some was on land, and they was in tents back then .Everyone looking after each other, And A place where all branches of Service was stationed

Response by CPO William Slifko made Sep 10 at 2021 5:44 AM

2021-09-10T05:44:42-04:00

Being a the ship's bridge, sliding down a wave a few times taller than a destroyer, submarining into the next wave and watching green water surround the bridge.

Walking on bulkheads.

Getting sent down to engineering for a BT punch.

Crossing the line (shellback or blue nose).

The purpose of (the original) chief's initiation.

Why do you still call bathrooms "the head", walls "bulkheads", ceilings "overheads" and floors "decks"?

This could easily become a very long list.

Response by CW2 Michael MacInerney made Sep 10 at 2021 5:58 AM

2021-09-10T05:58:50-04:00

When I first joined I had no clear purpose and therefore did not even attempt to communicate my military life to others. When I tell people things about my military service now I do so from a different perspective than when I joined. I find it helps to accept that people do not hold the same views and would not understand my feelings of military experience.

Response by SPC Kenneth Bowles made Sep 10 at 2021 5:58 AM

2021-09-10T05:58:56-04:00

The discipline. Many think it is just a waste of time and don't understand that it helps in all parts of living.

Response by LCpl Kevin Bryson made Sep 10 at 2021 6:34 AM

2021-09-10T06:34:29-04:00

Coming from a family with a military background, I felt many of them understood my experiences.

Response by SGT Dianna Pippins made Sep 10 at 2021 6:46 AM

2021-09-10T06:46:12-04:00

My sexual assault while in basic training was very difficult to discuss with my family. It took over 20 years before I could tell them.

Response by PFC Larry Cunningham made Sep 10 at 2021 6:56 AM

2021-09-10T06:56:00-04:00

Why we truly were "Brothers from different mothers." and the bonds we made.

Response by SSG Samuel Kermon made Sep 10 at 2021 7:11 AM

2021-09-10T07:11:23-04:00

For me it wasn't difficult. But I never served in a combat zone. I did see my dad and saw how he deflected questions as much as possible. He was in Vietnam three times and it took a long time for him to talk with me a bit about his experience. I served over 20 years, Marines and Army, and found that reticence the way some vets cope with their feelings.

Response by PFC Tiffany Sparks made Sep 10 at 2021 8:20 AM

2021-09-10T08:20:59-04:00

Definitely feeling like a family. That family that can joke, smack, laugh and scream and be even closer. the one you trust to keep you alive.

Response by 1LT David Wood made Sep 10 at 2021 8:30 AM

2021-09-10T08:30:06-04:00

Everything. I came from a pretty pacifist background, and everyone was kind of shocked. And maybe a little disdainful. They didn't understand the bigger sense of family and purpose I found. Then I learned my cousin, who'd been always been kind of lost, was inspired to follow me in, and had a really interesting career.

Response by Pvt Michael Klama made Sep 10 at 2021 9:46 AM

2021-09-10T09:46:00-04:00

What my job actually is as a soldier. What I am trained to do if necessary.

Response by MSgt Aaron Brite made Sep 10 at 2021 10:10 AM

2021-09-10T10:10:51-04:00

The concept of "moving with purpose". Always leaving coworkers and senior leaders behind as they amble A to B. Unless there is an emergency, they amble. Never got the concept across to them that moving with a purpose is desirable for getting the job done on time, showing the workforce that you are dedicated and serious, and just plain burning calories.

Response by MAJ Ward Odom made Sep 10 at 2021 10:23 AM

2021-09-10T10:23:06-04:00

The sense of loss from those that we served with. How do you tell your family about the 2LT you shared an apartment with before you both got orders for Vietnam? How do you explain to them the feeling of immense futility and waste on the loss of an E5 in an ambush? How can they understand how you end your tale with "it don't mean nothing."

Response by PO3 James Heine made Sep 10 at 2021 10:50 AM

2021-09-10T10:50:28-04:00

My experiences. What I saw, what I witnessed, what I underwent, where I was, who I was around with, about everything. My folks from Desert Storm onward have been armchair generals and TV cheerleaders. They think it's all a football game and such attitudes make me SICK. They think I can be persuaded to believe anything, they don't understand my alienation issues or have even tried to. Same goes for my PTSD. When I went to college on Voc Rehab I got a university degree (it wasn't easy but I stuck it out and did it) but they didn't encourage me emotionally at all in my aspirations and dreams. They just wanted me to keep slaving for chump change. They didn't care about what I felt about things, then or now.

And now after the Afghanistan biz theey're playing 'karma chameleon' with me by saying they were against that war (and other ones in the past 30 years) all along. The same goes for the crap of the past number of years. I can't express these things to them, they think it makes me something less. They don't care, they don't give a ****. It's like we're Roman gladiators.

And my experiences about being with and serving with 'different' types of people mean nothing to them. All I hear about that is unchristian judgement and hatred. Everybody likes to think they made a difference. My VERY teeny-tiny role in the late Cold War seemed to have been all worthwhile when it ended in late 1989. Since then the American public's gullabilities and the PTSD I had buried in the back of my mind only made things worse. Alienation snowballed. They make me feel like it's all been in vain and pretty much my immediate family just doesn't care. And wars have become entertainment for so many.

Response by SCPO Kathi Polz made Sep 10 at 2021 10:57 AM

2021-09-10T10:57:30-04:00

My parents could never understand why they couldn't come in and actually see what I did for work!

Response by PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln made Sep 10 at 2021 11:02 AM

2021-09-10T11:02:53-04:00

That leave can be denied for the good of the command and there is no recourse.

Response by MAJ Janice Campbell. BSN, RN, CNOR made Sep 10 at 2021 11:22 AM

2021-09-10T11:22:24-04:00

Explaining without being too graphic how blown to pieces our service men and women were that I cared for at beginning of OIF / OEF and the visual memories that I still deal with.

Response by PO1 Charles Wadlington made Sep 10 at 2021 11:30 AM

2021-09-10T11:30:41-04:00

The UCMJ! I served as a Navy Substance Abuse Counselor for Shore Duty (I was a GSE...almost nothing in-rate onshore). I worked with MANY members from all branches whose careers were destroyed by incidents that wouldn't even make the papers in the civilian world. The standards under the UCMJ that we were held to were so draconian that it would lead to protests in the streets with civilians. To this day, I am still hypervigilant about "keeping my shit in one sock."

Response by CSM Walter Phillips made Sep 10 at 2021 11:41 AM

2021-09-10T11:41:09-04:00

Situations and things I saw over there.

Response by SFC Kandi Temple made Sep 10 at 2021 11:45 AM

2021-09-10T11:45:49-04:00

Just about anything is hard to communicate. They can't understand how you can work to death, sacrifice so much, hate and love your job simultaneously, and with all the bad stuff (not always combat-related) why you still miss it. I've never been able to fully transition, but maybe what I perceive as transitioning is not what it actually is. As previous people have stated, the camaraderie is something that cannot be understood. Get two veterans together, and it's like they've always known each other, no matter what era they served. We speak a language that civilians cannot understand.

Response by MGySgt Bob Willis made Sep 10 at 2021 12:16 PM

2021-09-10T12:16:37-04:00

The level of service and duty required by the Military. The overseas deployments and dependents restricted locations.

Response by PO3 Glenn Charles made Sep 10 at 2021 12:20 PM

2021-09-10T12:20:26-04:00

It starts with going to "A" school out of boot camp because I did something no one else had done before; answer all the questions on the Standford-Binet IQ test correctly. Note; IQ is not intelligence.

Response by SSG Daniel Shiprak made Sep 10 at 2021 12:29 PM

2021-09-10T12:29:42-04:00

Making friends and not seeing them for years and when you do met again, it's like no time has passed. Combat time makes you only trust a small group

Response by 2LT Bruce Mendelsohn made Sep 10 at 2021 1:44 PM

2021-09-10T13:44:25-04:00

Being involved in something far bigger than myself.

Response by SPC Robert Bobo made Sep 10 at 2021 1:48 PM

2021-09-10T13:48:21-04:00

Being a part of something bigger than yourself however, didn't talk about it with family members

Response by MSgt James "Buck" Buchanan made Sep 10 at 2021 2:06 PM

2021-09-10T14:06:40-04:00

The commonality of purpose. I had the opportunity to "work wit each sister service except for Coast Guard and we all had the same goal...keep us free!

Response by MSgt Neal Schultz made Sep 10 at 2021 2:24 PM

2021-09-10T14:24:28-04:00

Nothing my family was very understanding.

Response by SPC Jim Shelton made Sep 10 at 2021 3:49 PM

2021-09-10T15:49:10-04:00

How I was able to get by on such low pay.

Response by CPT Bob Mason made Sep 10 at 2021 5:32 PM

2021-09-10T17:32:39-04:00

Three days ago, SSG Gotz hit the nail on the head for me - camaraderie. I have felt camaraderie within many of my civilian social and professional groups as have my civilian friends and my family. But shared experiences of basic training, of working together as a team to achieve the unit goals, of belonging to something bigger than myself is lost on someone who has not been there. I have felt a similar level of camaraderie in my civilian life during my stint in law enforcement. And that is equally difficult to communicate.

Response by LCpl Jody Frost Whitfield made Sep 10 at 2021 6:10 PM

2021-09-10T18:10:34-04:00

It was difficult to share what my 70% VA disability is with family and friends because they can't "see" my disability of depression, anxiety and PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma (MST). Its difficult for people that love me to show support when they don't want to say or do the wrong things. It makes them uncomfortable to think I experienced these traumas. They don't need to know the details. I deal with my MST with my VA therapist and God. Just knowing they have a loved one that has come forth with my experiences and how I am continually affected gives them pause before speaking ignorantly about women in the military and that honorable servicemen wouldn't abuse their fellow service member. I don't look disabled so how can I get VA disability. If I can share my experiences and healing with fellow female MST survivors to help in their recovery it helps me heal too.

Response by Capt Tobey Thatcher made Sep 10 at 2021 7:56 PM

2021-09-10T19:56:17-04:00

MST.

Response by COL Donald Mondragon made Sep 10 at 2021 9:36 PM

2021-09-10T21:36:04-04:00

The moral, ethical, and professional dilemmas of why we had to turn some people away from our hospital because we couldn't treat them.

Response by SSgt Michael Anderson made Sep 10 at 2021 9:59 PM

2021-09-10T21:59:20-04:00

Trying to convey to my friends and family the importance of obeying AFR 35-10 (The regulation for dress and personal appearance) and other regulations-- and the importance of always being on time and placing the job and other duties above everything else. Many of my friends thought that these regulations were terrible and too confining! When I transferred to civilian life, I wound up with a better job than most of them did. I am grateful to my military background for a terrific civilian career and an even better retirement!

Response by SGT Michael Padilla made Sep 11 at 2021 2:25 AM

2021-09-11T02:25:14-04:00

The loss of friends. The loss of a job. The loss of a way of life. The inability to find a job because of a disability rating of merely 10%. The depression that follows. The fall into drug usage just to get up in the morning and to go to sleep at night.
I've been clean from drugs since 1998..Just glad to be alive...

Response by PO2 Jay Stotler made Sep 11 at 2021 8:35 AM

2021-09-11T08:35:42-04:00

Let us all take a moment to say a prayer for all those who die today 20 years ago , and thank them for what they did and tried to do. I worked in construction and after 9/11 you would think they would make stairways stronger and have helo access to roof tops but they didn’ t change anything like that . Hi rises cover the roof top with antenna because they can sell that access , the safety cost money not make any , can we learn from our mistakes?
Any way thank all of the ones who lost someone and god bless the U S A

Response by MAJ John Adams made Sep 11 at 2021 2:48 PM

2021-09-11T14:48:01-04:00

Fortunately, my Dad was a WW2 veteran, and my wife was in the Army same time I was. It was easy to communicate to my family, but friends who have never served are a different story. I'm certain they don't believe half of my "no sh## there we were" stories, even though they're all true. They also have a hard time understanding that shared hardships or crappy situations build cameraderie, and bring out some of the best humor in everyone there.

Response by Col Tracy Spencer made Sep 11 at 2021 10:11 PM

2021-09-11T22:11:50-04:00

Wartime mission and tasking, drug interdiction involvement, inhumanity of things seen and experienced.

Response by SCPO Lloyd Sikes made Sep 11 at 2021 10:11 PM

2021-09-11T22:11:52-04:00

Where I was, how long I would be gone and what I was doing
ETCS(SS)

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 11 at 2021 10:35 PM

2021-09-11T22:35:31-04:00

How terribly much I missed it.

Response by SGT Lisa Mayne made Sep 11 at 2021 10:37 PM

2021-09-11T22:37:51-04:00

Why I could go for weeks without checking in, and not miss it at all…

Response by PO2 James King made Sep 11 at 2021 10:59 PM

2021-09-11T22:59:12-04:00

The knowing someone always had my back.

Response by SGT Denis Gormley made Sep 11 at 2021 11:06 PM

2021-09-11T23:06:31-04:00

Why I was not going to college.

Response by MSG Albert Grounds made Sep 11 at 2021 11:23 PM

2021-09-11T23:23:59-04:00

My brother in law who is a book publisher and his friend who wrote a national best seller asked me to write a book about my years in Army Intelligence. I told them I could not do this because I worked in high level intelligence and even my wife had no idea what my job was. I did write a book for them under my nickname "Bud" but it was about how the military is different than civilian life in that we signed a contract to abide by the policies and orders given. A military person can't refuse an assignment where a civilian has that option. The hardship of separation from your family is another where the wife has to take on the burden of keeping things running smoothly.
I tried to explain what it was like about loyalty and teamwork in the military and how important this was especially in combat where life long friendships are developed.
There is one thing though that those who spend 20 or more years in the military have to adjust to when they retire and work into civilian occupations. We think in black and white and no in between. Those in the military who treated those under them fairly and as a person, not a number likely had no trouble in the transition.

Response by Sgt Jerry Genesio made Sep 12 at 2021 12:14 AM

2021-09-12T00:14:17-04:00

Why the Corps felt more like home to me than the home I grew up in. My Dad died when I was 12 and I was allowed to run wild. The Corps gave me self-discipline, self-respect, and a regimentation I had longed for without even realizing it.

Response by PFC Jack Evans made Sep 12 at 2021 2:56 AM

2021-09-12T02:56:45-04:00

There are so many things about military life, camaraderie, and the overall experience that only those who have shared the experience can understand. You try to explain feelings or things to civilians, but they just do not have the background or mindset to truly understand. For example, my son and I have always had a very close relationship and thoroughly enjoyed doing things together and I thought that our relationship was great, But, after he spent a summer at ROTC camp, with full military Basic training, A whole new level of understanding opened between us. Today, 45 years later, we are still best friends.

Response by MAJ Dale E. Wilson, Ph.D. made Sep 12 at 2021 3:36 AM

2021-09-12T03:36:34-04:00

For me it was trying to communicate how it felt to be in armed combat. For those who have been in combat, life has a flavor the protected can never know and no amount of explaining can ever bridge that gulf.

Response by MAJ John Davis made Sep 12 at 2021 5:59 AM

2021-09-12T05:59:34-04:00

I found it hard to tell my sons why I had to spend so much time away from them.

Response by CWO3 Dennis M. made Sep 12 at 2021 6:05 AM

2021-09-12T06:05:01-04:00

I spent 23 years in the Navy. Of those 23 years, 14 of them was spent on sea duty. There were no phones to call home, and snail mail was the only way to reach out and touch home. Even the mail was very slow due to the fact ships movements were classified, and at times mail could take weeks to reach you. An international call could cost you two weeks worth of pay. So, what things were difficult to communicate? Everything!!

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Sep 12 at 2021 6:53 AM

2021-09-12T06:53:54-04:00

It was difficult for them to understand that the mission takes priority when you end up missing family events at the last minute...

Response by SPC Jill Winter made Sep 12 at 2021 7:50 AM

2021-09-12T07:50:26-04:00

How my female drill Sgt during basic trainning constantly yelling, screaming in my ear and threatening me. It was very depressing and demoralizing to be treated with such hatred.

Response by 1SG Robert Rush made Sep 12 at 2021 9:26 AM

2021-09-12T09:26:49-04:00

Not much. many members of my family had served during WWII and Korea.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 12 at 2021 10:43 AM

2021-09-12T10:43:40-04:00

Pretty much everything, but especially being "in the shit" with people that makes them become closer than blood. There is a level of trust that is pretty much unmatched anywhere else. Whether you "joined for a paycheck" (cough-cough, toolbag in another comment) or to serve patriotically, regardless of reason, the fact that you entrusted your life to others, and they entrusted theirs to you and then having to actually PROVE that trust . . . Well, the strongest steels are forged in some of the hottest fires.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 12 at 2021 11:17 AM

2021-09-12T11:17:17-04:00

Why, despite me complaining and joking about Army red tape and bureaucracy, I continued to reenlist and volunteer for schools, deployments, and mobilizations and after more than 25 years of service, I would do it all over again.

Response by SFC Edward Sneed made Sep 12 at 2021 11:41 AM

2021-09-12T11:41:56-04:00

Fortunately, all of my family was in agreement with me going into the Army. They always asked me about the places I've been and how the cultures were in those places. We kept in constant contact throughout my career.

Response by SPC Randy Torgerson made Sep 12 at 2021 12:20 PM

2021-09-12T12:20:48-04:00

Did I win yet?

Response by SPC David Buttrey made Sep 12 at 2021 1:53 PM

2021-09-12T13:53:38-04:00

Of all of the many opportunities that were available why in the Hell I signed up to jump out of airplanes.

Response by SPC David Buttrey made Sep 12 at 2021 1:56 PM

2021-09-12T13:56:27-04:00

With all of the opportunities that were available why did I sign up to jump out of airplanes…

Response by SGT Erick Holmes made Sep 12 at 2021 2:02 PM

2021-09-12T14:02:39-04:00

What Chain of command was and how to use it properly

Response by SFC Bradley Lechner made Sep 12 at 2021 3:15 PM

2021-09-12T15:15:05-04:00

What it means to totally trust and depend on each other. Nothing like it other than the military. What it really means when they say, "I got your six".

Response by CPO Jack De Merit made Sep 12 at 2021 4:21 PM

2021-09-12T16:21:03-04:00

The only thing I was unable to communicate with my family and friends about my military service was where I was other than a country. I could tell them I was in Hong Kong, the Philippines or Japan but not Vietnam or what I was doing there. Being a War Zone, info was not allowed to civilians. Everything else was not a problem.

Response by SPC Bill Ratajczak made Sep 12 at 2021 4:36 PM

2021-09-12T16:36:32-04:00

I joined at 17. I was unsure of myself, what I believed in, what was important to me. I gained a sense of purpose. Confidence in my ability.

Response by SP5 John Walters made Sep 12 at 2021 4:36 PM

2021-09-12T16:36:51-04:00

In the 49 years since I returned from the Army in VietNam, no one will ever understand, not VietNam Era vets, not family, not men who married Vietnamese women since the war and have visited. They can learn of the culture and nation, but not the war experience.

Response by CPT David Medley made Sep 12 at 2021 5:29 PM

2021-09-12T17:29:00-04:00

After being Commissioned I felt I needed all the Military experience I could get. It was sometimes hard to explain to my family as to why I had to be away so often.

Response by SFC Bill Kurtz made Sep 12 at 2021 5:39 PM

2021-09-12T17:39:46-04:00

We don’t beg for ears and deployments. We go if called.

Response by Sgt Susan Mcneely made Sep 12 at 2021 5:42 PM

2021-09-12T17:42:26-04:00

The fact that many times I had no choice in what days or hours I was working. My husband didn't want to believe I hadn't done anything to be put on graveyard shift for 12 hours a day for six months. It was just a rotating duty everyone eventually had to do. But he was an abusive controlling ass, he died just six months after I got out while we were divorcing.

Response by Sgt Michelle Evans made Sep 12 at 2021 5:59 PM

2021-09-12T17:59:20-04:00

I found it difficult to get across what it is truly like to be in the military to anyone who had not served. Most people have no idea that things like laws are different in the military. We not only have to live by the laws of the country that all civilians do, but also have a second set of laws on top of that with the UCMJ. And the UCMJ can be difficult for people to understand in that it can be used in many different ways. An example is that in the 1970s a LT in the US Army decided he wanted to work to modify haircut regulations since military people were easily identified and often ostracized because of their shorter military haircut. This was the Vietnam era, and so the military members were sometimes attacked for simply being military (I was myself). So this LT fought the regs, and lined up a large cadre of exceptional lawyers to prove his case was just to get the regs changed. When the military trial began, the charge was simply "Failure to Obey a Lawful Order." Nothing about the haircut regs. It destroyed their case, and nothing happened except that a good LT was forced out of service.

Response by Capt Al Parker made Sep 12 at 2021 6:34 PM

2021-09-12T18:34:20-04:00

The odd ball working hours and TDYs. Also the different uniforms and when they could be worn.

Response by SGT Leonard Frank made Sep 12 at 2021 6:57 PM

2021-09-12T18:57:04-04:00

going back to the original question and just before.... joining up. What they do not understand is why you felt compelled to join a volunteer arrmy to begin iwth!!

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 12 at 2021 7:42 PM

2021-09-12T19:42:24-04:00

Why I joined instead of college (I wanted to serve, grow up a bit, travel long term).

Response by SGT James Bradley made Sep 12 at 2021 8:10 PM

2021-09-12T20:10:55-04:00

I have a moral injury from Vietnam service which only God can deliver me from. Can you understand that???

Response by SPC William Towne made Sep 12 at 2021 9:18 PM

2021-09-12T21:18:56-04:00

Mostly my job as a 68W and the rules I have to follow under the Geneva convention. It is hard for them to understand that I would have to treat enemies if they were wounded and that I'm not supposed to be a main combatant.

Response by SSG Earl Corp made Sep 12 at 2021 9:25 PM

2021-09-12T21:25:41-04:00

I was pretty lucky because I was third generation Army and my dad understood what I’d gone through. My mom never pushed she just asked if I’d done my duty and let it go at that.

Response by SGT George Smith made Sep 12 at 2021 9:28 PM

2021-09-12T21:28:55-04:00

I was Army Security Agency so there was a lot I couldn’t talk about, even with my wife. She was understanding and supportive with others family and friends.

Response by SGM Joseph Alexander made Sep 12 at 2021 9:37 PM

2021-09-12T21:37:06-04:00

the camaraderie its just not the same in the civilian world

Response by SSG Harry Herres made Sep 12 at 2021 11:19 PM

2021-09-12T23:19:58-04:00

Nothing, my dad was a career officer! I told him what was going on, he gave the info to those I loved . Great job sir!

Response by LCpl Steve Smith made Sep 13 at 2021 3:21 AM

2021-09-13T03:21:03-04:00

None, now not that they could understand everything but it wasn't hard to communicate about the military, some things people can only understand when they experience them themselves.

Response by LTC Joe Anderson made Sep 13 at 2021 5:24 AM

2021-09-13T05:24:27-04:00

Since my family was retired Navy there wasn't a lot I couldn't communicate about being in the Army that they wouldn't understand. They did wonder why I chose the Army over the Navy. But they weren't surprised since I wanted to be a Soldier since I was a little boy. My friends knew this too. My family didn't always understand some of the differences and traditions that are particularly to each service. But when we compared them they figured it out quickly. So I was lucky in that sense.

When I got my TS security clearance it was tough to talk to family and friends about my job. So I just gave them the UNCLASSIFIED general overall description of what I do. Or I'd say did you see that drone strike on the News or CNN...? I was a part of that. Without giving away any details. Since they had seen it on the news weeks or months before (Now years).

I miss it. It was a GREAT 34+ years and career!!!! I miss it and would do it ALL again if I could. I might make some minor course corrections. So as not to miss out on a few opportunities. But overall I wouldn't change much. I'd probably do 90% the same 10% different just to enhance the overall experience I had.

Response by SGT John Goschka made Sep 13 at 2021 6:34 AM

2021-09-13T06:34:04-04:00

I was in the infantry in Vietnam so there wasn't much that I could talk about. I was wounded in combat in Vietnam so I always answered questions about what happened when asked.

Response by SN Kristi Kalis made Sep 13 at 2021 2:23 PM

2021-09-13T14:23:14-04:00

The need for secrecy was the hardest. My mother couldn't fathom that a teenager would be entrusted with top secret information She couldn't understand why I couldn't tell her where I was being deployed. My friends didn't understand why I would want to "shit in the woods" as a career.

Response by SPC Wildon Mitter, D Coun made Sep 13 at 2021 2:53 PM

2021-09-13T14:53:31-04:00

When I was in there was an Army recruiting commercial with the line that went something like we do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day. Most of my days were we waste more time before 9 a.m. than most people dp all day. At least it taught me patience

Response by TSgt Vollie Miller made Sep 13 at 2021 2:53 PM

2021-09-13T14:53:55-04:00

The fact all my work was highly classified and could not discuss any part of it!

Response by SGT Lisa Mayne made Sep 13 at 2021 2:58 PM

2021-09-13T14:58:45-04:00

Why I didn’t write or call more often

Response by SGT John Goschka made Sep 13 at 2021 3:04 PM

2021-09-13T15:04:38-04:00

Vietnam.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2021 3:12 PM

2021-09-13T15:12:24-04:00

Being in trouble for being gone and not being able to tell them when or where!

Response by 1SG Danny Ramos made Sep 13 at 2021 3:19 PM

2021-09-13T15:19:25-04:00

I was in the Military Intelligence field so there was very little that I could tell my family about my job in the military.

Response by PO3 Charles Streich made Sep 13 at 2021 3:22 PM

2021-09-13T15:22:19-04:00

When I told the family what was really happening in Vietnam and when they saw the pictures they finally believed me.

Response by SP5 Walter Mearkle made Sep 13 at 2021 3:25 PM

2021-09-13T15:25:25-04:00

I served from 6/1962 until 4/1965 right out of college and I did not have a difficult time in Korea. However, I developed a love, compassion, and respect for my brothers in arms that had to endure the endless struggle in Vietnam and the other useless conflicts that followed.

Response by PO3 Charles Streich made Sep 13 at 2021 3:35 PM

2021-09-13T15:35:03-04:00

Came back from Vietnam Jan. 1971 and could not sleep cause it was so quite that I slept in the bathtub waiting for an attack and my mother cried when she saw me.

Response by SGT Charles Bartell made Sep 13 at 2021 3:38 PM

2021-09-13T15:38:36-04:00

The lose of friends in combat ,and having to tell people that where the only one that lived after being hit by a I.E.D.

Response by PO2 Lawrence Janiec made Sep 13 at 2021 3:50 PM

2021-09-13T15:50:21-04:00

Mostly about how even when things were peaceful, things were always dangerous. When I worked on the ship, there was always stuff that I worked with that could either seriously injure or even kill me.

Response by SPC Gary Symons made Sep 13 at 2021 3:54 PM

2021-09-13T15:54:11-04:00

That I didn’t like seeing anyone dead regardless of sides and didn’t like seeing those I served with celebrating kills. We are all Gods children and seeing a life taken will always be disturbing to me.

Last drone attack before pulling out last month hit a suspected ISIS-K car, 10 dead, 3 adults and 7 children. Car was suspected of having explosives and after the hit, a second explosion came from that car, maybe explosives or maybe a full gas tank but at the end of the day, 7 children are dead and for them, I grieve.

Response by MSgt John Parsons made Sep 13 at 2021 4:29 PM

2021-09-13T16:29:16-04:00

What I had to do at times, still can't tell my wife nor will I. When my son joined the Corps I dreaded the day he would return and know what I went through. He's the only family I can talk to about it now and I'm the only one he can talk to.

Response by SFC Josh Billingsley made Sep 13 at 2021 4:46 PM

2021-09-13T16:46:08-04:00

the requirements of the military were always something my family didn't understand. "Why don't you just tell them to piss off?" was a common response if I told them I had to do something unpalatable. Not having much agency in my earlier years was very tough to explain. It did get easier as I progressed through the ranks

Response by SGT Jeff Nolan made Sep 13 at 2021 5:26 PM

2021-09-13T17:26:09-04:00

World is now full of " tossers and wankers" .

Response by SFC Linda Clipp made Sep 13 at 2021 5:35 PM

2021-09-13T17:35:36-04:00

How I could appreciate wearing the same thing every day!

Response by CPT David Medley made Sep 13 at 2021 5:54 PM

2021-09-13T17:54:37-04:00

Being so dedicated to an institution !

Response by PO2 Christina "Jian" Phillips made Sep 13 at 2021 6:02 PM

2021-09-13T18:02:09-04:00

The inability to talk about the most interesting aspects of my job because they wouldn't understand or the fact it was classified. It made it hard to answer the question "What do you do?"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2021 7:18 PM

2021-09-13T19:18:19-04:00

I’m very fortunate to be married to a fellow veteran. I don’t need to say anything because he knows exactly what I’m feeling because he has either been through it, or going through it when I am. My mom lives 4 hours away and my dad is in a different state, so when I do have issues explaining things to them, my husband is right there to help me.

Response by PV2 Joanes Edouard made Sep 13 at 2021 8:04 PM

2021-09-13T20:04:24-04:00

It was hard to make them understand the person that they used to know no longer exists because, after my Service-Connected Traumatic Ear and Brain irreparable and permanent Injuries and Symptoms, I had lost some of my memories for months, and the new person I had become was a stranger to me, to my family and friends. Furthermore, my character, personality, and mood had all changed. How can you explain that to your family and friends?

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Sep 13 at 2021 8:46 PM

2021-09-13T20:46:36-04:00

How I felt after leaving the military-it changed me because being home didn't feel right-I didn't feel like I belonged there and was lost and didn't feel I had any purpose.

Response by MSG Levy Cordero made Sep 13 at 2021 9:14 PM

2021-09-13T21:14:58-04:00

The sense of urgency and the need for readiness.

Response by SSG Franklin Briant made Sep 14 at 2021 12:19 AM

2021-09-14T00:19:57-04:00

Pretty much everything about the military service. You can explain various things concerning the military and they believe you are building things up or making it seem more intense than it was. There is no way to tell someone what it is like to go without showers for week at a time. Or outrunning your supplies. How do you explain marching 25 miles then doing a deliberate attack on a position that the defenders have had several days to fortify. Other things are how close you become with the people you served with.

Response by LCpl Robert Burke made Sep 14 at 2021 8:19 AM

2021-09-14T08:19:44-04:00

Considering my father was a WW2 vet, my older brother had already been to Nam and a younger brother joined me in The Corp and another was in the Army and just about all my friends were also in some branch it was easy to discuss just about any aspect of our service and beyond.

Response by PO1 Deborah Bohanon made Sep 14 at 2021 10:40 AM

2021-09-14T10:40:00-04:00

My brother was not a supporter of my time in the US Navy because he did not understand the whole scheme of what the Navy does besides watching the large ship guns shooting out ammo. My MOS was food service and I did not want another career in that and that caused a huge rift in my explaining to the family of why I wanted to continue to go into the career counseling employment arena. Another was the initial explaining what I did in civilian terms from the rules/regulations because I did not know the HR articles to refer to. Currently I am part of the Detroit DVOP group and I break it down to the veterans I see how important it is not to say "I have left active duty" to " I am seeking or to obtain job title" For me to learn the key words that my family would have understand what I was attempting to tell them about my Navy career because I had good and bad times and would not change my Navy work experience. To say food service experience vs cook gave me more job opportunities in the civilian world..

US Navy retiree (MS1)

Response by SSG Larry Dale McCloud made Sep 14 at 2021 12:59 PM

2021-09-14T12:59:25-04:00

it is difficult to explain why all this bad news about Afghanistan and our service men and women is bothering me. I spent the better part of 4 years over there. I feel we lost everything we worked so hard for in the 20 years we were there.

Response by TSgt Joe Wiles made Sep 14 at 2021 3:54 PM

2021-09-14T15:54:48-04:00

The importance of time and specifics in directions. Time was always a thing for me because there was always a specific time things needed to be done. A report needed to be sent out every hour at 5 minutes to the hour. Showing up 15min early to anything.

Specifics in directions was also a thing for me. They needed to be given with specifics and in an order of operations. When I took over the household after I retired and stared making the meals, directions would mess me up because it would be at the end of the directions that the info about flipping or storing half way through the cook time would be given. That bit of information was important in the middle of the directions. Some people in my family didn’t understand why I had a hard time with it.

Response by LCDR Diane Neff made Sep 14 at 2021 8:11 PM

2021-09-14T20:11:20-04:00

A funny one when dealing with a young civilian whose only military knowledge came from old movies - He wanted me to "just get a 3 day pass" to come home to attend a school event his was in. The event was in Iowa. I was stationed on Guam. He had no idea that it took 17.5 air hours over about 25 total hours to make the trip - if the planes were flying a normal schedule.

Response by PO2 Serena Furlong made Sep 14 at 2021 8:26 PM

2021-09-14T20:26:33-04:00

My husband gave me permission to do whatever I wanted when I was away on my first deployment as long as I bring home any surprises. Needless to say I did what I wanted and brought home no surprises. No one knows about anything.

Response by Cpl Brian Ruby made Sep 14 at 2021 8:35 PM

2021-09-14T20:35:47-04:00

How I changed and why. You go to Marine Corps boot camp one person...and come out another.

Response by 1SG Lashawn Brown made Sep 15 at 2021 2:29 AM

2021-09-15T02:29:39-04:00

My job working in a Communications Center.

Response by RallyPoint News made Sep 15 at 2021 11:22 AM

2021-09-15T11:22:36-04:00

Congratulations to Sgt John F Ferguson, 1LT Private RallyPoint Member, SPC David Johnson, PFC Tiffany Sparks, and MAJ John Adams! You've all won a $100 Amazon gift card! An e-gift card will be sent to the email address associated with your RallyPoint account.

Thanks to all who participated by logging in and sharing!

Response by SGT Morgan Dull made Sep 15 at 2021 1:55 PM

2021-09-15T13:55:49-04:00

My problems were numerous and very difficult, however when it came down to it, one of those problems; was that these people around me thought and were taught that they were civilians(dis empowerment, helpless to defend themselves), because of many reasons (the continuous attack on the USA by foreign and domestic enemies). Their personal convictions and faith is foremost in their minds, and racists jealous feelings often erupted when I for example would deploy a new service or product, something and they could not, skills mattered, lip did not.

Revisionists, traitors at home, insist on disparity so they can control the nation, via special interests, taking over the Congress and legislating freedom to the very citizenry (born in the USA), whose people wrote the Declaration of War (Independence), and the Constitution of the United State of America, in order to form a more perfect Union, between members (militia, citizens) and their faiths and fates, not a foreign nations interest.

Response by SSG Michael Richardson made Sep 16 at 2021 8:30 AM

2021-09-16T08:30:38-04:00

The fact that I didn't mind being deployed overseas. I was trained to do a job, and here I was, actually doing it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being part of a team; something larger than just myself. It's just something that can't be explained; only experienced.

Response by SSG Shawn Mcfadden made Sep 16 at 2021 8:46 AM

2021-09-16T08:46:31-04:00

When I was deploying to war, and when I was in Iraq, I wasn't able to give dates as to when I was going someplace within the country, amd I wasn't able to tell them where I was because the phones were being monitored.

Response by PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln made Sep 16 at 2021 9:49 AM

2021-09-16T09:49:02-04:00

I found it difficult to make people understand that even in a war zone there is boring down time.

Response by SGT Jeff Nolan made Sep 16 at 2021 3:30 PM

2021-09-16T15:30:38-04:00

Congrats to all the winners.

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Sep 16 at 2021 7:56 PM

2021-09-16T19:56:57-04:00

RallyPoint News Thank You; for the Great Honor You have Bestowed upon us; by being here with us on Rally Point!

Response by SPC Marie Brown made Sep 17 at 2021 6:28 AM

2021-09-17T06:28:08-04:00

My pride! I enlisted in 1976, no one in my family could understand how proud I was to serve.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 17 at 2021 7:26 AM

2021-09-17T07:26:37-04:00

I could never really tell them details about what I did, due to OPSEC... I just couldn't... it is stuff they did not need to hear about... I just told them I specialize in transportation and logistics...

Response by SPC Matt Ovaska made Sep 17 at 2021 8:56 AM

2021-09-17T08:56:49-04:00

Where do I start? How do you explain a bad dream. You'll just be disappointed. They will not understand. WWII vets didn't share much.

Response by SGT Jason Mouret made Sep 17 at 2021 11:15 AM

2021-09-17T11:15:57-04:00

Details of my injuries.

Response by SSG Rene Uhler made Sep 17 at 2021 12:16 PM

2021-09-17T12:16:37-04:00

There wasn't much to tell to my family my father my brother my brother in law and myself we we're all in the military at the same time ARMY.

Response by CPT David Medley made Sep 17 at 2021 12:51 PM

2021-09-17T12:51:20-04:00

Bless all that have the Heart to serve ! WAKE UP AMERICA !

Response by Sgt Robert Gardner made Sep 17 at 2021 12:58 PM

2021-09-17T12:58:47-04:00

The brotherhood you have because you can trust your friends with your life.

Response by PFC Dennis Resch made Sep 17 at 2021 6:25 PM

2021-09-17T18:25:28-04:00

The civilians do not understand the camaraderie I shared with those I was stationed with.

Response by PO1 James Akins made Sep 17 at 2021 8:11 PM

2021-09-17T20:11:41-04:00

Team work, leadership and commitment, these are prized commodities in the military because you need to depend on everyone to have your and their backs, but out in the real world to what people have termed and that haven't served in its just lip service. I have worked with a lot of people since being out of the "Navy" and to my amazement this became just lip service, but over time with patience, working together and leadership was able to overcome these barriers. What I have learned that the heart of this problem is leadership some of todays managers and leaders haven't been properly trained or have a clue in the aspects of it and over time it will corrode a team even a good team. The other thing is commitment, once committed to a problem I work hard to complete it even if I have to stay late or come in early to do it, did this a lot on the navy. I have worked with other technicians that once the clock strikes the hour of the end of their shift they pack up and leave for day. I on the other hand wouldn't do that because since I was in the thick of things would stay over with the oncoming shift technician and assist them until the task was completed.
I have passed a great deal of information of my time in the navy to my family and friends and over time they began to see what I was talking about, but with talking about my experiences while serving, they finally understood and they were able to react accordingly to whatever situation came their way.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 18 at 2021 11:40 AM

2021-09-18T11:40:32-04:00

There was nothing about the military I could not discuss with my family

Response by CPT Edward Newton made Sep 18 at 2021 12:42 PM

2021-09-18T12:42:49-04:00

They really had no idea what my work entailed

Response by CPT Timothy Holden made Sep 18 at 2021 12:49 PM

2021-09-18T12:49:23-04:00

HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS IN VIETNAM. THE ENEMY ,THE JUNGLE THE ELEMENTS,THE RAIN ,INSECTS

Response by SGT Frank Roberson made Sep 19 at 2021 12:16 AM

2021-09-19T00:16:32-04:00

I never talked about my time in Service for Security reasons. My MOS was classified TS and my job was 100 percent classified. My Dad and Grandfather were both Army, so it was understood.

Response by Sgt Tom Gainer made Sep 19 at 2021 8:34 PM

2021-09-19T20:34:53-04:00

The whole combat experience. Hours upon hours, days of sheer boredom with minutes of complete terror and adrenaline rush so high you can taste it.

Response by SN Harry Conrad made Sep 19 at 2021 8:44 PM

2021-09-19T20:44:18-04:00

Why I was so quiet when I came home. Especially hard for my brother that was 10 years younger, why I couldn't answer all his questions.

Response by SPC Jim M. made Sep 20 at 2021 12:36 AM

2021-09-20T00:36:43-04:00

Basically, the whole experience from going to basic training, surviving combat and returning home. The relationships that are formed by working as a team, going through situations that are scarier then they will ever know. They want you to be the same person who went away, but you cannot be that person any more due to the things that have been seen and done.
The majority of people think going to the service is like going to college with the frat parties and you receive enough credits and you graduate. Little do they know what life in the service is like and do not want to even try to comprehend those experiences.

Response by CPT Timothy Holden made Sep 20 at 2021 2:04 PM

2021-09-20T14:04:16-04:00

the death of comrades

Response by Cpl Douglas Wuenschel made Sep 20 at 2021 5:42 PM

2021-09-20T17:42:57-04:00

Discipline and lack of privacy

Response by 1SG Cynthia Butlerperry made Sep 20 at 2021 5:47 PM

2021-09-20T17:47:38-04:00

How hard things really were.

Response by CPT Mary Garrison made Sep 21 at 2021 1:06 PM

2021-09-21T13:06:48-04:00

My DEROS from Vietnam was 2 weeks before Christmas, and I just couldn't tell my family I really wanted to be back in Nam with friends for the holiday. Also I couldn't share with them or anyone my experiences over there. I pushed down the "bad stuff" and was ashamed to admit there'd been many enjoyable times with friends.

Response by TSgt Wayne Brown made Sep 21 at 2021 4:07 PM

2021-09-21T16:07:36-04:00

the feeling of family, the stress of 24 on 24 off working with nukes, allways on call.

Response by A1C Paul Kelly made Sep 22 at 2021 4:38 PM

2021-09-22T16:38:19-04:00

Still got a lot I don't talk about.

Response by SGT Dan Theman made Sep 22 at 2021 7:16 PM

2021-09-22T19:16:47-04:00

Undying camaraderie

Response by SPC Carl Mumaw made Sep 23 at 2021 12:45 AM

2021-09-23T00:45:42-04:00

The way we ate food (fast). Being a very light sleeper. Not caring about trivial things like a shirt color or picking out shoes .Getting upset over misc. politics or something said about our military.

Response by CPT C. Tee made Sep 27 at 2021 9:06 PM

2021-09-27T21:06:12-04:00

It was very difficult for me to communicate what I experienced in OEF/OIF without having an anxiety attack, panic and stuck in a depressed mood for YEARS! They continued to support me and love me until I was able to get some Mental Health help at the VA. Wow! I can't even believe I've been out longer than I served...God is totally awesome!

Response by SP5 Walter Mearkle made Oct 22 at 2021 11:00 AM

2021-10-22T11:00:25-04:00

To this day, after some 60 odd years, in the service, I involuntarily "cloud up" when I describe my experiences. Not that they were unusual, nor dangerous but I still "weep" at the national anthem. Also, it breaks me up when I wear my Blue Veteran BB Cap and I get front-of-the-line treatment and thanks for my service. Wow, I just wish that the guys and gals who served in Viet Nam got the same treatment when they returned.

Response by PFC Tiffany Sparks made Oct 22 at 2021 8:06 PM

2021-10-22T20:06:00-04:00

That we had our social on everything in case there was nothing else to identify. Or that the small dog tag was our toe tag

Response by PO3 Stephan Plough made Oct 22 at 2021 8:15 PM

2021-10-22T20:15:24-04:00

nothing was haed to talk about because I was from a milntary family

Response by SGT James Bradley made Oct 24 at 2021 10:39 PM

2021-10-24T22:39:47-04:00

The whole Vietnam Experience - how do you even begin to share your time in the NAM!!!

Response by Cpl Frank Birkemeier made Oct 25 at 2021 7:56 AM

2021-10-25T07:56:02-04:00

Going above and beyond in completing a task, no matter what time it is, what weather condition is going on, how good you are feeling, etc. Getting the task done no matter what even if it's not convenient and puts you in a uncomfortable situation. This shows the absolute dedication and responsibility you learn from the military.

Response by CW3 Michael Clifford made Mar 27 at 2022 10:04 AM

2022-03-27T10:04:58-04:00

Why I was entering the service, why I stayed until retirement and why I convinced my brother to enter and independently stayed until retirement. Since I retired, it was getting people to hire. My hiring personnel saw me as a threat to their job, up to I fully retired.

Response by SPC Dennis Winze made Mar 27 at 2022 10:43 PM

2022-03-27T22:43:26-04:00

I dont!

Response by SSG Archie Martinez made Mar 30 at 2022 6:30 PM

2022-03-30T18:30:21-04:00

It was difficult to describe the military in terms of camaraderie amongst soldiers. When you spend 24/7 with someone its inevitable they become your family

Response by LCpl Sidney Green made Apr 17 at 2022 9:45 PM

2022-04-17T21:45:22-04:00

That's easy, freedom of expression. That, and the fact that there is not debating and you have to obey orders even when you disagree or feel its wrong. It took me a while to get used to that.

Response by SP5 George Smith made Aug 24 at 2022 5:47 AM

2022-08-24T05:47:09-04:00

Hmmm? Kinda dated, but remembering my time in Vietnam back in ‘69-‘70. The days when writing letters was the only way to connect with home. Couldn’t, or want to, write about day-to-day stuff without having to worry about folks back home thinking the worst of what was experienced. Fortunately, being a heavy equipment operator in a combat engineer unit wasn’t exactly dealing with Charles directly. Stuff that came my way was random. Seeing the grunts come back from the field was enough to appreciate my plight. Couldn’t share about the body bags. Couldn’t share about the mortar attack the night before. Couldn’t share about someone unlucky enough to die. Couldn’t share about the displacement of Vietnamese from their homes. Couldn’t share about the feeling when one is getting short…and still working in the field below 30 days left in-country. Yeah, it was easier to keep writing, “It was a nice day!”…”Nice weather”…etc.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Sep 10 at 2022 5:55 AM

2022-09-10T05:55:40-04:00

thanks for sharing