What was the biggest "emergency" you had while in uniform that took more discipline than you thought you had?

So ARR time with the COL. and I'm the engineer attached to an infantry squad. We ran the same Mout like five or six times in GA in the heat and I'm sucking water like crazy. Every time to this point I've waited untill the end. I ran up , saluted ... and said "sir , all respect , I have a force measure that needs my attention my I go?" He looked at me all puzzled as he returned the salute SGM bee lined tward me as if I was offending the COL. And I guess he heard me , I thought I was getting a boot to the gut but instead got a knife hand tward the direction of the latreen. When I had come back the ARR was over and I couldn't find any one. Then I heard the blanks firing... they started without me. Being the crazy SPC I was I ran full fledged into the site linked up with my team like nothing was out of the ordinary. So next ARR , SGM said " when the hell did you get to the fight?" Without missing a beat I said " as I know it building 2 the one with the weak door and the 3 guys inside that killed the LT." Sgm, was either at a loss or just didn't want to deal with me and said Roger and began chewing out the LT. For getting shot. (All garrison mind you)

While attending a promotion ceremony at Fort Jackson, those of us who were in uniform fell into a formation so when the CG of the Soldier Support School arrived we would not look like a gaggle. The Bn Cdr who invited the GEN had a rather difficult name to pronounce. During the ceremony, the GEN said, "I would like to thank LTC Faggot for inviting me..." Standing behind me was none other than the Installation Chaplain (who always called me "Lad!" As I struggled to maintain my bearing, the CH (COL) asked in his bass voice, "Lad, did that General just call that Colonel a faggot?" After I replied in the affirmative, he stated "If he called me a faggot, I would take my Jump Master's knife and..." I lost it!!

Having to use latrine at formation.