Whats the best way to handle a spouse with depression while being in the military?

2014-05-20T21:23:52-04:00

Just curious on advice for this type of situation

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made May 20 at 2014 9:35 PM

2014-05-20T21:35:46-04:00

PV2 Kinder, show her you love her, support her, and seek professional counseling. Let the therapists prescribe what is best in both of your situations. You have to be committed to supporting her while she goes through this because it could take a long time. There may be no easy answer but to have patience. Seek a Chaplain for guidance too.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2014 9:40 PM

2014-05-20T21:40:04-04:00

First off I must tell you I abuse my chaplain so much I told him that he is an honorary platoon leader. With that being said I am in the Army Reserves as an AGR. I call my TPU (or reservist) chaplain and he calls the Soldier or family and can also go see them. It may be easier if both are living on or near a post. A pastor or minister would also work if you are both active in a church. I like my chaplain as he does not bring religion into the conversation and is approachable and really draws people to talk and then he just listens and then will ask more questions to help them really feel comfortable with him. He will only talk religion if they ask about it. He is also a wealth of knowledge of support in all areas within his region. He knows drug rehabilitation programs, child care locations, counseling programs, and often recommends giveanhour.org where it is free counseling outside of the military that does not limit sessions.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2014 10:50 PM

2014-05-20T22:50:37-04:00

Hop on militaryonesource. You can schedule free appointments with all types of counselors. I think up to 10 visits free at an off post provider if you don't want the COC in your business or don't want to be caught coming out of BH and get labeled.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 21 at 2014 3:27 PM

2014-05-21T15:27:02-04:00

Military one source is an absolutely wonderful resource that you can go to and seek help. Visit
http://www.militaryonesource.mil/counseling?content_id=267023 to learn what they provide. It's for military and families.

They will want you to call [login to see] .

There is also a crisis hotline 800.273.TALK (8255)

You will speak to a consultant who will ask some questions and if deemed necessary, will authorize up to twelve confidential sessions with a counselor.

There is face to face counseling, online counseling, and telephonic counseling available.

Your unit/installation has MFLC's (military family life consultants) They are there to provide confidential counseling to you and your family. They are located in building 7264 on Fort Riley. Go talk to them, that is what they are there for.

Go to the fort Riley ACS website and click on resiliency campus. They have an awesome flyer that has everything available to you listed.

http://www.riley.army.mil/Services/FamilyServices/ArmyCommunityService.aspx

Some other ideas are MFLC, and master resiliency training for your spouse. Awesome classes to help build optimism and happiness. It's a four day class that if used properly can change your life.

Chaplains are generally great counselors and can provide advice about where to send you guys to receive help.

Your wife's doctor, primary care manger will be talk to her about options and be able to refer to specialty care of necessary.

Be there for your wife as a supporter, understand that she is suffering and not all of her words and decisions will always make sense to you. Your a team and you're suffering together in this. Tell her that when the time is right. Let her know about all the resources available to you and her.

Talk to your leadership and let know what you have going on so that they can provide advice and mentorship. It's important that they know about you and your family so that they can make smart decisions when it comes to you and your situation/ stress level etcetera.

All in all you have taken a huge step toward helping your wife just by asking for advice. You may have to talk her into using some of these resources, many spouses, especially ones New to the military are resistant to utilizing it's resources. Good luck buddy. Let me know if you need anything else.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2014 11:26 AM

2014-12-01T11:26:04-05:00

advice your spouse to seek help with mental health. not only that mental health can help her with therapy, they can also prescribe her meds to make her feel a tad bit better.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 16 at 2015 2:07 PM

2015-10-16T14:07:56-04:00

Get in front of her and talk and listen. make her part of your life and get her out and engage in pleasant couples activities. Make her feel loved and as CPT Maurelli stated, use your chaplain.

Response by A1C Lisa Casserly made Jun 23 at 2016 10:55 PM

2016-06-23T22:55:55-04:00

I'm not a professional... just a girl who DEALS with depression issues. First, I have a loving and supportive husband. He doesn't UNDERSTAND the depression, and I honestly don't want him to ever be able to get into that dark place. But, when I'm having a bad time, he's always there for me. I can't tell you how much a loving partner means. On the side of professional services, I have had very good luck with speaking with a counsellor. I've never had a Pastor with counselling credentials, but if your Chaplain/Chaplain services do have this, it might be a good place to start. Getting help so you don't feel ALONE is a necessity. Having someone to lean on while you get your feet back under you is so important! I find the drugs to be problematic, as I was plotting to kill my family while on them. I often say I'm so mad, I could strangle this person or that, but I never MEAN it. There is no heat, and no anger. Anger blows into me, and right back out. While on the drugs, I said NOTHING but was thinking some very dark things. In a moment of clarity, I dumped those things down the toilet and never looked back. I think the drugs would be ok in low doses, while you get counselling and learn to cope.