Whats the funniest thing you've seen at a military ball? Are there any good pranks you've seen pulled?

2022-12-20T10:08:44-05:00

For example, our PSG used to call all the NCO's cell phones while the CO was doing his speech to see if our phones were off and those that didn't would get publicly embarrassed and have to take a trip to the grog bowl.

Response by CSM William Everroad made Dec 20 at 2022 1:10 PM

2022-12-20T13:10:48-05:00

SSG Carlos Madden Was having a pretty jovial ball. Fines for everyone. We had a very good Vice.

One Soldier had a little too much and passed out in the bathroom. An equally inebriated medic attempted to place an IV in the unconscious Soldier. Someone let me know and when I walked in, it looked like a murder scene with the medic afraid that he had killed the guy.

At another ball, similar environment. All the Platoon Leaders conspired to incapacitate the Vice. They bought his drinks during cocktail hour and kept replacing his wine with liquor. He threw up on his plate and the Commander had to replace him before opening the floor to fines.

Had a spouse (not mine) show up to the Division ball in a full-blown Disneyesque ball gown. No really funny or a prank, but very interesting.

One Commander (LTC) had a practice of permitting uniform deviations to the Mess Dress. One year it was kilting another it was red (Engineers) cummerbunds. It was nice how many played the game.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Dec 20 at 2022 4:49 PM

2022-12-20T16:49:57-05:00

Our MI unit was a mix of males & females. Our CSM was an old SF guy. Our BC was somewhat of a religious prude. The CSM said he would handle the entertainment for our formal dining-in. People also brought their spouses. To everybody's surprise the entertainment was a couple of women exotic dancers. Our BC couldn't look. They were pretty good & they mingled with the crowd. Our woman soldiers were not offended & some of them even seemed attracted to the dancers. In the days before "don't ask, don't tell", this was even more of shock to our BC. The dancers were not overly undressed & not overtly sexual either but we all did notice how much our CSM enjoyed them as our BC kept averting his eyes.

Response by CMSgt Marcus Falleaf made Dec 20 at 2022 6:01 PM

2022-12-20T18:01:57-05:00

Played bartender at a Wing function where everyone/pilots brought expensive wine. We provided blind tasting mini cups. The first wine to disappear was Boones Farm.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 20 at 2022 6:10 PM

2022-12-20T18:10:29-05:00

When we were upgrading the MAW Compound on Adak, we had to enlarge it and upgrade to the newer security levels. It included concrete embedded fencing, tensioned, and every panel had a sensor alarm. The Marine O-6 Skipper came up from Bangor to see what his Det protects. I was briefing him in the control tower when a fence panel alarmed. As the Marines were spilling out from their barracks, the cameras pan/tilted to perfectly capture Lance Corporal Simmons taking a piss through the fence. At the next Seabee Ball, the annual video highlights included the now epic event for all to see.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 20 at 2022 9:01 PM

2022-12-20T21:01:12-05:00

At one particular Dining In Ball, I was about to suffer the indignity of my bladder letting loose....so I created a funny poem on the fly to convince the President to allow me to go. I was released for a bathroom break. Room was laughing. As I was moving out, the President said "how could I say no to that?" The poem was:

As we sit here with jokes and chatter,
My bladder is getting madder
Before it gets any meaner
May I go, before I overflow
And have to pay my dry cleaner

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Dec 21 at 2022 7:55 AM

2022-12-21T07:55:45-05:00

As a brand new 2LT, my wife and I attended a Dining Out with the Brigade Officers. Whom ever did the menu decided that Parmesan Soup should be one of the courses. If you never have tried that dish, it has this melted glob of Parmesan Cheese floating in it. I'm sitting there with my wife trying to figure out how to eat this stuff in a dignified manner. I look over at the corner of my table where a One Star was sitting. He had his spoon in front of his face with about a one-foot glob of cheese hanging off the spoon. I picked up the spoon in mine and promptly spilled it on the table, to distract from the General's discomfort.
That's my story and I'm sticking with it ;^).
After that embarrassment, everyone else relaxed and did what they could with the course. Can't say I ever saw that on a Dining Out or Dining In menu after that night.