When have you ever felt alone as a leader?

CH (MAJ) William Beaver — Thu, 21 May 2015 11:01:44 -0400

When have you ever felt alone as a leader? What did that feel like? How long did that period last? What brought it on? Was there anyone at all that offered to reach out to you? Perhaps you are feeling alone and isolated as a leader right now. What do you need? Who do you need it from?

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made May 21 at 2015 11:02 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Thu, 21 May 2015 11:02:19 -0400

When I was Skipper of a bunch of engineers spread over 6 AORs and knowing how little I could do to protect them. That's lonely. I had to rely on commands I had no working relationship with. That said, everyone in the sand box and elsewhere covered my people's back.

When I turned the command over and retired, I felt like I took roller skates off.

Response by SCPO David Lockwood made May 21 at 2015 11:26 AM

SCPO David Lockwood — Thu, 21 May 2015 11:26:35 -0400

I think the question should be who hasn't ever felt alone as a leader. And yes I felt alone at times.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 21 at 2015 12:14 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Thu, 21 May 2015 12:14:18 -0400

The starting line of the 2 mile run with that "Army of One" mentality kicking in.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 21 at 2015 1:54 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 21 May 2015 13:54:27 -0400

When you are correcting someone for running inside when the music plays, or uniform/hair being completely jacked up, or not shaving and there are 10 other NCO's who witnessed the same thing and said nothing.

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made May 21 at 2015 11:07 PM

MSgt Keith Hebert — Thu, 21 May 2015 23:07:38 -0400

I have felt alone many times both as junior and senior enlisted
While junior I turned to alcohol and the later became an ass. It took a 1SGT the army guard and a CMSGT in the air guard to reach out and mentor me(that meant at the time " to jerk a not in my ass and set me straight) but not the last nor the least I had my wife with me for 16 of the 26 years

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made May 22 at 2015 12:18 AM

SFC Collin McMillion — Fri, 22 May 2015 00:18:58 -0400

Most true leaders will feel all the things you have mentioned. They are the one's who have to make the dicissions, right or wrong, and live with the consequences. It's the one "buck" we can not pass on to another.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made May 22 at 2015 7:56 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 May 2015 07:56:17 -0400

If you have not felt alone you have not truly led.

The key is to have at least one person that you can always confide in, someone that you can talk to about anything, which should not be about work the majority of the time. It can be your spouse (I would not recommend that COA), your officer or NCO counterpart, a peer or preferably a mentor completely outside your chain of command.

I have a friend who retired about seven years ago as a SFC. I can and have called that guy at all hours of the day/night and unloaded on him. He has a magical way of calming me down and putting me back on track. I swear I called him about once a month from Afghanistan in 2013.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 7:50 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 19:50:37 -0400

If you have not felt alone as a leader I don't think you have ever had to make a hard choice. When the time comes for you to make the hard call, regardless of the situation all you can do is hope your knowledge and experience have prepared you to make the right choice.
The time leading up to your decision can be the loneliest time in the world, when no matter the council you have received the choice rests on your shoulders.

Response by SSG Mike Busovicki made Feb 13 at 2016 10:06 AM

SSG Mike Busovicki — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 10:06:41 -0500

Whenever I had to make a tough decision and my superiors didn't support me. A double-whammy.

Keep in mind that your subordinates might feel this way under you too. Even if you don't agree with some of the decisions they make, let them know that they still have the obligation to be dynamic, risk-taking leaders.

It always helped me to remember that for the most part my Soldiers appreciated tough decisions in the long run, even if "unpopular" at the time. I'm sure a lot of parents feel the same in regards to the relationship with their kids (to draw a parallel). Remember, you're a leader, responsible for your Soldier's well being and success on the battlefield, not a prom king elected by popularity.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 13 at 2016 5:42 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 17:42:41 -0500

Attempting to change the culture of an organization.