When is calling a fellow service member by their first name acceptable and unacceptable?

SSG Philip Cotton — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 21:23:00 -0500

I recently was hired on as Federal Technician and work with SGT's, SSG's, SFC's, CPT's, TSGT, SMsgt's, etc. I was asked day one what I liked to be called. I said, well...Cotton of course. Then I was told, " we call everyone by their name here. You're a tech, not AGR."<div><br></div><div>I have been encouraged to call my counterparts, a SGT and SSG by their first names. It just seems way too weird, so I stick with their ranks instead. What are your thoughts about calling a fellow service member by their first name?</div>

Response by SFC James Baber made Dec 31 at 2013 9:28 PM

SFC James Baber — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 21:28:32 -0500

Equal ranks yes, other ranks it depends on the situation and arena, and if it is initiated by them and what their guidance from seniors is in reference to it, main keys to looks at.

Typically it is not appropriate to become that familiar with each other because it takes the respect aspect somewhat out of the situation if something should change along the way from a personal conflict or disagreement. Then you run the risk of when it is deemed no longer from the senior and you are unknowing and you do it and they then try to pursue disrespect issues, it is safer and more appropriate even when they initiate it to respectfully decline and continue to address by rank and or position.

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made Dec 31 at 2013 9:31 PM

CH (CPT) Heather Davis — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 21:31:04 -0500

SPC(P) Cotton,

My first question to you would be are you currently in uniform? If you hired as a civilian than you are in a dual status. Rule of thumb I stay professional and go by rank this causes less confusion and keeps in within protocol.

Response by MSG Martinis Butler made Feb 16 at 2014 12:22 AM

MSG Martinis Butler — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:22:26 -0500

I don't know who made it ok to call individuals by their first name despite what side of the rank that you are on. Discipline is what should be something that comes to mind before you even consider calling someone by their first name, where is the structure? Next its going to be calling people by their nicknames or street name.

Response by SPC Dan Goforth made Feb 16 at 2014 12:43 AM

SPC Dan Goforth — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:43:04 -0500

Working in a civilian setting, it really should be Mr. Cotton. I know that modern society has dropped much of the formality, but that really is the polite and respectful thing to do. First name basis should only apply outside of work/duty, and should never be to the degree of compromising the integrity of the chain of command.

The Japanese give us the ultimate example of polite respect. Only the absolute closest of people can refer to each other on a first name basis without an honorific attached. Good friends and seniors can append the honorifics of -chan (female) or -kun (male). Strangers and juniors would use the -san honorific. And when addressing someone really senior to you, -sama (equivalent to saying Sir or Milord) is appropriate. There are certain titles, carrying meanings equal to or similar to appellations such as Doctor or Professor, that can be used for some people. Bottom line, we need to return to showing proper respect.

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made Apr 10 at 2014 10:37 PM

MSgt Keith Hebert — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 22:37:55 -0400

I would stick with rank while at work and drill for the simple you will slip up at the wrong time in front if the wrong person.
Not worth it

Response by SSG Willis Baker made Apr 13 at 2014 6:04 PM

SSG Willis Baker — Sun, 13 Apr 2014 18:04:34 -0400

It all depends on the environment you are in. If the people you work with call each by there first name, that is fine, you can to. However, if an outsider comes in to your environment then you must show Common Courtesy until otherwise directed. If your work environment works well that way, then go for it. Officers call each other by their first names all the time.

Response by SSG Todd Halverson made Apr 27 at 2014 8:04 PM

SSG Todd Halverson — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 20:04:16 -0400

When I went and worked AC/RC for a few years, I still addressed the MilTechs as Mister or Misses Last Name during the week and by their rank during drill weekends. It was easier for me as I met most of them in civilian clothing when I met them. So, calling them by their first name should be reserved for outside the office in social settings, if you choose to socialize with them. I had a Maj. at one of my assignments who would call me by my first name, but I always addressed him as sir or Maj. ... this way I would not make the mistake of calling him by his first name in the wrong company. I guess he felt more comfortable addressing me by my first name as we were about the same age.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Apr 28 at 2014 12:19 AM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Mon, 28 Apr 2014 00:19:05 -0400

Good Query, I think each Armed Force does it differently and it does depends on situation and location. In a School enironment more strict, in a fleet environment less strict. With Civilians go with the flow. My Guys called me by my First Name Chip, The guys in First Division called me CT1 and when the Chief called me Petty Officer Nagel I knew I was in deep doodoo.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2014 6:09 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 28 Apr 2014 18:09:58 -0400

On the Air Force side, first names are generally acceptable between peers or one-way from a superior to a subordinate; from subordinate to superior though, folks are expected to address by rank. Some folks may ask to be addressed by rank out of personal preference.

Response by LTC Paul Labrador made Jun 25 at 2014 1:41 PM

LTC Paul Labrador — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 13:41:00 -0400

In your current capacity, you are civilian not military, as such the rules of military courtesy do not apply. HOWEVER, unless you are continously corrected by your superiors (or someone specifically tells you to call them "Bob"), I would stick to Rank and Last name when addressing military. It's professional and you can't go wrong with that....

Response by SSG Mike Angelo made Jun 25 at 2014 1:41 PM

SSG Mike Angelo — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 13:41:54 -0400

Sgt Cotton, aka Mr. Cotton,

As you settle in your new workforce environment, you will also discover certain organizational norms, nuances and acceptable behavior. This is your leadership challenge. It is for you to decide because of your duality.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2014 1:47 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 13:47:51 -0400

First names are never a good idea while on any active duty status. Rank and last name maintains good order and discipline regardless of scenario. First names start the slippery slop of friendship in the workplace; which may not be a current problem, however, situations are fluid and can change rapidly and friends can find themselves in a subordinate status quickly.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2014 1:49 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 13:49:34 -0400

I think people in the military worry too much about the sociological aspects of getting the job done that they miss the point of getting the job done.

As a small unit leader, I could care less if my soldiers addressed each other by their first names. If the can accomplish the mission, do it safe, be respectful, then if it works, why jump down their throats about it.

I think leaders these days are too hell bent on nitpicking everything. Supervise your troops, take yourself out of the nuances of their lives, and let them be all they can be.

Response by SSG Ed Mikus made Aug 6 at 2014 5:26 AM

SSG Ed Mikus — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 05:26:40 -0400

I've been in many shops where internally we used first names, often times there was a nonconformant, it was never a big deal, they used rank, everyone else used first names.

when an outsider would happen in ranks would be used, but this seemed to me to be more of a tool to bring us together, make us feel closer, and it often worked.

Only once did i see any disrespect come from this, and that SSG corrected that PFC quickly, it took a while, but he eventually understood that using the SSG's first name did not mean they were freinds or that he could get by with stuff.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2014 5:35 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 05:35:25 -0400

Instances in which I heard it was acceptable to use first names is when a senior is addressing a junior. But I've rarely heard NCO's use first names.

Response by SSG John Bacon made Aug 6 at 2014 10:47 AM

SSG John Bacon — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 10:47:20 -0400

I have done it with peers of the same rank but up or down no. This is however more common in the Air Force. While I was in, I called my Team chief by his first name, the pilots all used first names or call signs.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 10 at 2014 8:58 AM

SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Oct 2014 08:58:34 -0400

Wait you mean my first name isn't Sergeant?

I have had seniors call me by my first name, but I was never able to do it. I think that using rank and name promotes good order and discipline within out formations.

Response by SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA made Mar 5 at 2015 1:34 PM

SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 13:34:34 -0500

SSG Philip Cotton, I've worked in places (doing very low-speed work at a very high-speed place) where as an E4 everybody else -- E6's and mostly E7's -- were on a first name basis with me and each other. I could have been an E1 and it would have been the same. When I first got there, they wanted parade rest, but after a day or so all quickly told me to stop doing that.
Most people want standard military customs and courtesies, but in some situations and unit cultures, some people prefer things to be more casual.
I would never address someone who outranks me by their first name, unless and until they specifically tell me to, and even then I tend to be reluctant.
It seems strange even to address or be addressed by my peers by first name. Last name is a strong habit.

Response by 1LT Nick Kidwell made Mar 5 at 2015 1:39 PM

1LT Nick Kidwell — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 13:39:30 -0500

That is the difference between military related tech jobs and AGR.

For example, I used to work ADSW on YTC. Near the armory where I worked, there was a MATES facility, and I came into contact with people from the facility regularly. Reserve component service members who worked there as techs for their full-time jobs were less formal at MATES than they were at drill and AT.

Take it as you will, that just tends to be the norm in that setting.

Response by MSgt Allan Vrboncic made Mar 5 at 2015 1:49 PM

MSgt Allan Vrboncic — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 13:49:38 -0500

Your Peers or Subordinates can be called by rank or first name.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 2:37 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 28 Apr 2015 14:37:33 -0400

Within our command as long as as I am surrounded by fellow E6's we use first names and I am aware that Chiefs and above do the same. However if we are around E5 and below we use titles.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 2 at 2015 1:01 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 13:01:06 -0400

I'm a civilian as well so I get called by my first name all the time, sometimes it slips and I hear random ones call me by my first name as well. It doesn't personally bother me, but I also feel that it is a respect thing. You can tell which ones respect you. I just tell them to watch who they do it around, because it does bother other people. If t were being done in a disrespectful manner, then I would correct it. I usually don't have an issue though. The other civilian I work with, I call by his first name sometimes (try to keep it just during normal work) and rank on drill wknds

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 27 at 2018 7:35 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 27 May 2018 07:35:20 -0400

It honestly comes down to personal preference and what is acceptable within your specific section/unit. At my previous base most people only found it acceptable to be on a first name basis outside of work. With only a handfull of people calling someone else by their first name while on duty.

After recently getting to my current base I found that things are a lot more relaxed here. With people being on a first name basis at work a lot more common. I personally prefer to stick to last names if you're in the airman tier of ranks. NCO's and above I stick to rank plus last name unless told otherwise. The most informal I've been with a NCO is last name only, and that was because they recently put on rank and told me it was fine to call them by last name only unless around people not from our shop.

I personally don't have a problem with people calling me by my first name if they feel like it in a work setting. I've had quite a few Airmen, NCO's, and SNCO's call me by my first name at work but they always checked to see if it was ok first. Although it's largely an Air Force thing, you won't see it much in other branches.

Response by MSG John Duchesneau made Jun 19 at 2018 11:44 PM

MSG John Duchesneau — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 23:44:15 -0400

I'm "old school" and don't think first names should be used when conducting official business.

Response by AB Edward Mondini made Jul 19 at 2019 11:40 AM

AB Edward Mondini — Fri, 19 Jul 2019 11:40:46 -0400

All depends on the circumstance.
IMO.....the military is different from civilian companies in the fact there seems to be a greater emphasis on top-down & lateral discipline.
On the other hand, certain situations tend to lend themselves to a preference or even a need to employ first name protocol.