When should you throw in the towel?

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 03:27:43 -0400

During my years of service, I have suffered my share of injuries. When I was a young paratrooper I had a pretty rough landing. I ended up getting my bell rung pretty hard. Due to my chute oscillating I landed on my left side on a runway. After I woke up from being knocked out I realized I split my elbow open and injured my shoulder. Fast forward about 13 years later I am in Jordan and woke up only find that I lost about all motion and strength in my left arm. I was able to recover after about 6 months of nursing it. During that time I thought my career as an infantry officer might be over, if not my military career.

I realized something that no really wants to think about. That I might need to throw in the towel. I realized that I might not be able do my job anymore. Over my time in the military I have seen my share of other soldiers that have faced the same challenge. Some of them stay in knowing that they are not capable of some of their job functions. This affects readiness of a unit and will be a burden in time.

At what point do should you throw in the towel? I don't find any shame in it at all but then I see the Army something that is bigger than I. It is a hard choice but where is our responsibility in this?

Response by SMSgt Roger Horton made Mar 16 at 2017 4:20 AM

SMSgt Roger Horton — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 04:20:42 -0400

I wouldn't throw in the towell doing something you love. You may not be physically able but you can be supportive and help young individual just learning g their job.

Response by PO1 John Johnson made Mar 16 at 2017 6:52 AM

PO1 John Johnson — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 06:52:52 -0400

I had to "throw in the towel" at 20 yrs. In late 1997, I was getting ready to walk in the back door of my unit's building, and as I reached for the doorknob, something popped in my lower back and I swear it sounded as loud as a .22LR gunshot, and in 5 minutes I was in what I thought had to be the worst pain in my entire life. Little did I know what was to come. Come to find out I had one herniated disc and 2 bulging discs in my lower back. Spent the last year on light duty and was not allowed to go out on my beloved buoy boats anymore. The Coast Guard turned into a young man's game, in a split second. I went from being able to throw buoys, chain and sinkers around without thinking about it, to if I'm walking and spot a $100 bill on the ground I would have to seriously consider not bending to pick it up. I'm extremely glad (and lucky) I was allowed to stick around to retire at 20 and not get a MED Board and forced retirement.

It's not a shame to throw in the towel if it's necessary to prevent further debilitating injury in the short term, and it may be more important to prevent a life-changing injury which could affect you well after a military career.

I was in your shoe's before, and here's God's honest truth. This is one decision you will need to make on your own (unless you are married and then your wife may make the decision for you!). After listening to all the advice you're going to get, sit down with your brain and your heart and figure out your next move, 1LT.

PS: And don't forget, if you lose your direction, there's probably a Sergeant close by who aced his land-nav course!

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Mar 16 at 2017 9:05 AM

1LT William Clardy — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 09:05:49 -0400

CPT Private RallyPoint Member, it may help to remember that throwing in your towel as an infantry leader means your life is changing, not over. You shouldn't rule out the possibility of making other, potentially more significant, contributions to the common defense later, in other roles.
Speaking from personal experience, a decade after I got RIFed as a troublesome lieutenant, I found myself flying into BIAP and getting to make a some significant contributions supporting the Army's efforts to get a handle on its in-theater equipment. It wasn't as much fun or as exciting as holding a rifle and yelling, "Follow me!", but it was still pretty damned fulfilling.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Mar 16 at 2017 10:51 AM

SGT Dave Tracy — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 10:51:09 -0400

I cannot know when any one person has to "throw in the towel", "tap out", "pop smoke", "call it good", take your pick. No two people are the same. Unfortunately that boils itself down to you having to figure this out for yourself with copious grains of salt for the advice of others who don't walk in your shoes. After all, no one knows you better than you.

The Big Balls Brigade--generally comprised of young guys with few, if any, injuries or illnesses who can't relate to you AT ALL--will say you can super-Hooah your way through anything. Well you can super-Hooah through a lot, but it always catches up to you. Keep that in mind, and consider the source.

Those suffering Tiny Heart Syndrome are too delicate to push through the pain...any pain. So again, consider the source.

Between these (ignorable) extremes you may be lucky enough to find advice that helps your singular situation; to that end, I myself have no worthwhile advice to give, so I will simply wish you Good Luck Sir, and "to thine own self be true".

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Mar 16 at 2017 10:55 AM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 10:55:56 -0400

Well no one knows your body like you do. If you don't feel like you are at 100% and you don't find yourself ever getting back to 100%, then it may be time to throw in the towel. Now this doesn't mean you should just give up completely. If there's another position you can fill where you don't feel like a burden, then consider a transfer instead of just getting out.

Response by SSG Stephan Pendarvis made Mar 16 at 2017 11:10 AM

SSG Stephan Pendarvis — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 11:10:38 -0400

I don't see it as throwing in the towel. Instead I see life as a series of lessons that we learn and then move on. taking the ego and title or label out of the game leaves just one thing.....nonattachment. That way you can just move from one adventure to the next....as life should be.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Mar 16 at 2017 11:53 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 11:53:20 -0400

My towel was at 32 years. There are always internal and external sirens that tug at you. Question is what causes you to start listening to them? If you get asked the questions SFC Zach K. got and you only think about doing more of what you've been doing, you haven't heard the siren call yet. Desire to leave isn't about doing something different, it's about being something different. For me, I wasn't going to promote higher because I pissed off the Flags sitting on the board for giving me mission without force protection. There wasn't anything more I could do other than a repeat act. My body wasn't as happy about the physical challenges. There were kids in their teen years, and I needed to be home more. A wife of 36 years that I wanted to be around full time. A civilian career that still had opportunities that I could focus more on. At some point, you mentally switch over to being something else and frequently have moved on before you fully recognize it. If you find you're smiling more, ask yourself why. If you find you're more frequently down, ask yourself why. Something's going on.

Your responsibility is to look out for Number 1. People forget that the Service wants Number 1's who are still putting out the Full Monty for it. If you've moved on elsewhere, your Number 1 isn't a great fit anymore. So why try to rationalize yourself back? Continuing to do stuff that isn't the great fit it used to be just tears you down a day at a time. Then you have damage control to deal with in addition to transitioning. That's when bad transition choices are made because you're more concerned about getting away vs. being something different. Now be honest with yourself......

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 12:26 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 12:26:58 -0400

We're a proud bunch and it is drilled into us at a young age to never admit defeat or accept failure as an option. When your body is screaming at you and your heart and mind are screaming at you, you might feel like you're becoming weak. But damn it, failure and defeat aren't options! Especially if you're in a position where younger SMs or peers are looking up to you as their model of strength and leadership.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 2:29 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:29:13 -0400

Sir, I would have to say that the day(s) your body and mind are no longer in the game and you feel you will become more of a liability to readiness and mission accomplishment, then that is the time to hang up the spurs.

Response by MSG Johnathan Mathes made Mar 16 at 2017 2:34 PM

MSG Johnathan Mathes — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:34:46 -0400

think you need down and ask yourself the hard question... do you like what you do? do you wanna stay? are there any other roles I can fulfill ? there comes a time when you know its time to move on .. no shame... its called being mature and realizing that you cannot help make the picture whole... my suggestion to you Sir... sit down with someone of equal or higher rank in your company brigade battalion wherever... and ask for guidance,,, get their take on your performance.. explain your doubts and ask their thoughts

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2017 8:22 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Mar 2017 20:22:13 -0400

I'm like most where I will go until my body cannot take it or the Army says we cant use you. But as a healthy service member with no injuries, I guess one would throw in the towel if you don't love your job and what you do on a daily basis. Because why do 20 years of hating every single day going to work? At least for me this would be my decision.

Response by SFC Lewis Jones made Mar 21 at 2017 12:15 AM

SFC Lewis Jones — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:15:36 -0400

Never, I gave 22 yrs of my life to this country